Jacks horrors
by comprehend3467
Summary: Jacks life before the Mercers, I know you've heard it before but yeah I'll bet mine is way different. Revised still dark, still twisted, and still slashy. Beta read by laffertyluver23 Chapter 26 is up!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I do not own the characters

"BEEP, BEEP!" yelled my alarm clock, waking me up with a start. I slammed my fist on it and sat up, groaning as I scratched my long shaggy brown hair and rubbed the sleep from my blue eyes, yawning.

"Jack, are you up yet?" yelled my brother Josh, "because I'm leaving for school."

"Yeah," I croaked. I stood up cursing the cold wooden floors. I grabbed a towel and got in the shower. After the shower, I got dressed and got all of my stuff for school, making extra sure I didn't leave my music behind. I left the house and locked the door. I walked to school and went to first bell. The day was so boring, it was the same everyday. I went to all my core classes, ate lunch, and then went to study hall, Spanish, and finally band.

I was now going to the unpredictable soccer practice but I was still bored. I stopped in the hall and hoped something very interesting would happen today. I changed in the locker room with the guys and went out to the field. At first it was the same old warm ups, but then Mr. Sone came out and took Mr. Josh, our coach, inside. The other guys and I played a game of soccer then headed off to the locker rooms because Mr. Josh never came back out. Unfortunately the doors were locked, so I went around back to open the front door.

When I opened the back door I heard noises- it sounded like two people heavily breathing, like they had just finished the mile and someone else was crying. I peeked around the corner and almost screamed. Mr. Sone and Mr. Josh were raping some blonde boy. Mr. Sone had his dick in the kid's mouth and Mr. Josh had his in the kid's ass. I was disgusted at myself as I started to harden at the sight of this. They moaned really loud then threw the kid to the ground, laughing and yelling threats at him as he got dressed quickly and ran right past me through the back doors. The coaches went to the front door and let all the kids in. I sat with my back to the lockers and listened to the guys shower, change, and leave. Not long after all the guys had left, Mr. Sone came back calling my name.

"Jackie? Where are you? Come out, come out where ever you are," he turned the corner and looked down at me grinning evilly, "found you, whatcha doing? I heard you had been sitting there for a while. What'd you see?"

"N-Nothing," I whispered, scooting back. He walked toward me until I was against the wall, then squatted in front of me.

"Some how I don't believe that, not with a boner that size," he said grabbing my crotch. Mr. Sone frowned, "don't lie to me Jack."

"I won't tell anyone I swear! Please just let me go." I cried as he knelt in front of me, his knees under my thighs rubbing at my crotch. "Are you going to rape me?"

"Awww, don't look so scared Jack, I think you'll like it," he leaned in and kissed me. He stuck his tongue in my mouth and I bit down hard. Mr. Sone yelped and pulled back. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, hitting it so hard against the wall I saw white dots causing pain in my head, neck, and upper back. He put his knee on my crotch, pushing down, causing me to cry out.

"You want to play games, fine," he yelled in my face, "Mr. JOSH! He bit me."

"Really?" he said walking toward us, "Jack, you hurt Mr. Sone?" I nodded and he slapped me hard. "We don't bite, got it?" I nodded. Mr. Sone stripped me of my clothes and forced me to kneel in front of the bench as he grabbed my cock and dug his nails into it, making me whimper.

Mr. Sone shoved his cock in my mouth, making me gag; he started to fuck my mouth. Mr. Josh was tying something around my balls, as Mr. Sone was moaning. Some time after, Mr. Sone grabbed my head and shoved it into his pelvis, moaning real loud, and started filling my mouth with his liquid, forcing me to swallow it.

"Jackie, I want you to beg me to fuck you, you whore." Mr. Josh whispered in my ear.

"Please just let me go, I just want to go home." I cried.

"Beg me Jack!" Mr. Josh said firmly as he pulled on the rope that tightened on my balls, causing me to cry out.

"I just want to go home! I won't tell!" Mr. Josh picked up his belt and began to whip me with the belt buckle. I started to bleed and cry out.

"Beg bitch, beg!" he yelled.

"Please let me go," I begged and he slapped me.

"The next words out of your mouth better be 'Mr. Josh please fuck me' or I will beat you to a pummel!" he yelled. The room was silent except for my pounding heart and heavy breathing. "Well?" he asked.

"Please, Mr. Josh ....... let me go." I said. He punched me and he and Mr. Sone beat me for what seemed like hours. Finally they stopped, but Mr. Josh grabbed my face and said, "Beg me."

"Let me go home please," I begged and he slapped me. He whispered something in Mr. Sone's ear and left. Mr. Josh came back moments later with a picture of my family.

"I'll give you till Friday to come to me on your knees after practice, begging me to fuck you or I'll rape, torture, and kill all of your family!" he yelled. Tears filled my eyes blinding me, but unfortunately I didn't need to see to know his next move. "Starting with…." he pointed to some one on the picture "Josh."

Mr. Sone threw me against the wall so that my wrist hit the floor first. Pain struck up my arm causing me to cry out and they both turned to leave, laughing.

"WAIT!" I yelled, causing both to spin back around to me.

"Yes?" said Mr. Josh.

"I'll do it," I said standing up.

"No need to stand up, I want you on your knees where sluts like you belong," he said viciously. I got on my knees.

"Good, now crawl toward me." I did, and once I was in front of him he shoved my face into his crotch. At first I tried to pull back, but stopped when I realized how useless it was. He shoved me back, "Did you feel that?" I nodded. "Good now I want you to beg for it." I swallowed hard.

"Mr. Josh please f-fuck m-m-e."

"How bout you try 'Mr. Josh, please take your large cock and shove it up my useless ass because I'm just a toy for you to abuse. Please treat me like the slut I am', you say that and I'll give you what your begging for you whore."

"Mr. Josh, please.... take your large c-cock and uh, shove it up my u-useless a-ass because I'm just a uh, t-toy for you to um, a-a-abuse. Please treat me like the um, the ..... s-slut I uh, I am." I stuttered, trying not to cry. Mr. Josh picked up the rope pulling it hard toward him, causing me to cry out. He shoved my head down.

"Save it, you will need it while I'm fucking you till you bleed just like you wanted bitch!" He laid me on my back and spread my legs apart; he roughly toyed with my cock and balls. Then he took my hand and wrapped it around his cock and said "Put it where you need it bitch!" I slowly led it to my ass and pressed it against my hole. Mr. Josh rammed into me, causing me to scream from the pain. Tears streamed down my face as he pounded in and out of me. Soon my sounds of pain turned to pleasure because he continuously hit this spot that caused a rush of pleasure to ripple through my body. Soon I was moaning like the slut he had described me as. I was like the biggest slut in the world, lying on the ground begging for some 30 year old man to fuck me.

"Jackie you're a whore, say it!"

"I'm a whore," I whispered. Some how I was flipped on my hands and knees and Mr. Josh was grabbing my hair, pounding in and out of me. Finally he moaned and a warm liquid filled my ass. He threw me to the ground and Mr. Sone came up and kicked me hard in the ribs.

"That's right slut, you're my bitch!" they left laughing.

I sat up leaning against the back of the wall, feeling faint. I wasn't sure I could walk. I began shivering, I felt like a thick ball of ice was resting in the center of my abdomen. My entire body began to shake. I felt a bit like jell-o and was positive I couldn't get to my feet. My mind was like a whirlwind, replaying what had just happened. My stomach felt very sickly, I was sure I would puke. I tried to will it away. I didn't want to see the white that would make it real, I just wanted to forget. But as much as I tried, the whirlwind never stopped, it never even slowed. My head began pulsating. What had I done? Had I just allowed myself to be tainted? Why had I stopped them from leaving? I could have let them leave and told someone what happened, so why didn't I? I knew the answer to my question and before I could lock it away it burst. I had wanted it! I was a whore! How could I go home? How could I face my father, Jasmine, and Josh? They would hate me and kick my dirtiness to the curb. I can't disappoint them, I can't.

With that thought, I got to my feet and stumbled to the shower, desperate to clean up. I turned the water on, as hot as it would go. The water scolded me but I didn't care. I started scrubbing my skin, but as much as I scrubbed the feeling wouldn't go away. I began to cry in my frustration. Was being clean such a difficult task? I fell to my knees sobbing; my skin was bright red from the temperature of the water, and the scrubbing of my skin. I could feel the tingle behind my neck and I knew what was about to happen. I gagged slightly on my tears but it was enough, my lunch and everything after it came back up. I puked and puked, I felt like I was puking up my insides. As I began to believe I would never stop, I did. I was shaking harder than before, feeling sicker than before, and even felt more lightheaded than before. I stood quickly not wanting to look at my puke. A little to quickly apparently, because I fell back down and fainted.

"JACK!" I heard someone yell. I opened my eyes as someone reached me. They took off their jacket, wrapping it around me. Next I could feel them adding some towels.

"Oh porcupine what happened?" I automatically curled into my brother when I heard my nickname; he called me porcupine because of my hair which stuck out like crazy.

"Josh," I said curling into him. He held me tightly, pulling me away from the water.

"I'm right here buddy," he whispered, pulling me even closer, "did you have a seizure?" I stiffened remembering what happened. Josh's pure mind thought of a simple, innocent cause to how he found me- my epilepsy acting up. How could Josh even possibly come to the conclusion that I had fucked my gym coaches? I knew I wasn't ready for Josh to shun me, so I nodded.

"Jackie I'm sorry, I know how scary those are for you," he whispered rocking me. I buried my face into his neck, his familiar smell of cigarettes and Old Spice calmed me down some.

"I wanna go home Joshie," I sobbed. "Please can we go home?"

"Yeah, sure thing kiddo," he scooped me up. Josh wasn't much bigger than me, but had no problem lifting me.

"I can walk, please put me down," I whispered tiredly. Josh ignored me, grabbing my stuff and walking me out of the locker room. As Josh carried me through the hallways of my school, I heard many gasps and whispers. Halfway to the parking lot we were stopped by Mr. Gonzales.

"What is going on?" he asked, his voice hinting at a Cuban accent.

"He had a seizure and collapsed in the boy's locker room," Josh explained. Mr. Gonzales took my stuff from Josh and helped us to the car. Josh set me down in the front seat and shoved my backpack in the back.

"Take him to the hospital," Mr. Gonzales said before walking back to the school. Josh didn't say anything, but I knew instantly we weren't going home.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing

"Please Josh," I begged in the car as we past our house, "I don't want to go to the hospital."

"What if you hit your head?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road. I knew if he looked at me, he would cave. He always gave me what I wanted when I looked at him right, "you already seem sorta disoriented. If this ends up being serious and I did nothing, dad will chew me up and spit me out!"

"But I'm fine, really, I feel great ok?" I lied. All I wanted to do was go to my room and curl up away from everything.

"Jack I.." he was cut off by a car swerving in front of us, almost hitting us. "Shit!" he cursed slamming on his breaks putting an arm in front of me to keep me from flying. He stopped just in time to keep us from joining the car accident in front of us. He looked up at me.

"Are you ok?" he frowned before I could answer. "Jackie what happened to your face? It's covered in bruises; did you get in a fight?" My heart began pounding and there was a roaring in my ears. This was it, Josh was about to figure me out. He would shun me, so would my father, and my sister. My breathing became quick and short. I heard Josh saying something about a hyper something. He grabbed my shoulders and seemed to be doing an impression of deep slow breathes.

"I need some air," I gasped, getting out of the car. Josh was at my side in seconds, grinning.

"Calm down ok? We didn't crash, nothing bad happened and we are both fine," he chuckled. He thought I was on the verge of a panic attack because of the car accident.

"Josh," I whispered, not looking at him.

"Hey it's ok," he said, lifting my chin.

"No Josh, I need to tell you something," I whispered, Josh was my brother and he loved me, I knew that. If there was anyone I could tell it was him, and maybe it would be a good idea to get checked out.

'_But what If he hates me?_' My mind screamed.

"What is it?" he asked, his eyes filled with concern for me. How could I possibly think he would stop loving me?

"I didn't have a seizure," I said choking back on tears, "I, after practice… Mr. Josh, I um, never mind."

"You didn't have a seizure?" asked Josh skeptically, "is this so we don't have to go to the hospital?"

"Josh, I was raped!" I yelled. We stared at each other for a while. What if he doesn't believe me? What do I do? He definitely doesn't believe me.

I started panicking again, and then I did the only think I could think of, I tried to run. I didn't actually go anywhere because he grabbed me. I struggled against him; suddenly I didn't want to be touched or looked at. I wanted to get away but Josh wasn't going to let that happen. He pulled me to him and I crumbled into his chest sobbing, he rubbed my back soothingly.

"Its ok porcupine," he whispered into my ear, "you're ok."

"No I'm not!" I yelled, struggling again. Didn't he understand I would never be alright now? I'm fucked up and fucked over. He didn't let go or change what he said or how he said it. I screamed and cried and he did nothing but hold me and tell me I was fine.

After about an hour or so, I felt I had gotten it all out of my system. Either way I had wiped myself out, and all I wanted to do was take a nao. I leaned fully against Josh wanting to sleep; him rubbing my back wasn't helping me stay awake. All I wanted to do was pass out, to escape what I was dealing with. I wanted to just curl into my brother and never be seen again.

When I was half asleep Josh moved me back into the car. He held my hand when he started driving again, while I fell slipped into a deep slumber.

"Jack," said someone quietly while shaking my shoulder, "Jack wake up." My eyes fluttered open and fell upon Josh; I sat up with a start. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Where are we?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

"The hospital, we're in the waiting room," he whispered, rubbing his hand against my cheek.

"Can't we just go?"

"No, I'm sorry porcupine," he sighed, "you need to be examined."

"I don't want to."

"I know," Josh opened his mouth to say more, but then a nurse called my name and we followed her back.

She had me sit down in a cheap pink chair, it was itchy. Josh was still attached to my hand.

"What brings you here tonight Jack?" she asked in a very polite tone. I turned away, tears threatening to fall.

"Hey kiddo, you need to tell her," Josh said looking down at me. I shook my head. Josh hesitated for a moment then asked, "Can I tell her?" I stared at him for a minute before nodding slowly. He turned to the nurse.

"He was raped," Josh said. The nurse looked shocked for a moment before switching back to nurse mode.

"Ok, follow me." She took us to a back room; I was scared. The nurse had me put on a hospital gown before lying down on the hospital bed. She left to find a doctor, leaving me with Josh, who was still holding my hand.

"Josh," I said and he turned to look at me, "please can we go home?"

"Right after this Jackie, I promise," he said softly.

"Please, I wanna go now," I said trying to get up. Josh pushed me back down as a doctor walked in.

"Hello, you must be Jack," he held his hand out to me, but I cringed away from it. "Jack, I know you're going through a rough time right now, but we need to examine you and get a rape kit."

"What's that?" I asked quietly.

"A rape kit is when we go through and get all the evidence we can from your body," he said, sitting down on a stool, "we keep it so if you decide to press charges the police have something to work with." I looked up at Josh, and shook my head.

"Does he have to?" asked Josh looking at the doctor.

"No," he said, "but it is a good idea. Jack, I know you're scared right now, but can you toughen this out?"

"Come on porcupine," Josh said, grabbing both of my hands, "you can do it."

I looked at him, "But I was in the shower," I whispered.

"Does that matter?" Josh asked the doctor. "I don't know how long he was in there, I found him on the shower floor."

"Well, we will see what we can get," the doctor said calling a nurse in, he was a guy.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the room." The nurse said to Josh, "It will make this go a whole lot faster, and seem a little less embarrassing." Josh nodded getting up; I didn't want him to go. I started crying.

"Its ok porcupine," he said kissing my forehead, "I'll be right outside if you need me." He got up and left me with the nurse.

"Hey," he said, "My name's Chad, what's yours?"

"Jack," I mumbled.

"Okay Jack, first I'm going to take some pictures of your bruises and cuts, nothing to worry about." I nodded. "Okay I need you to take off your gown." I shook my head.

"I want Josh."

"He can come back in when we're all done," the nurse said, "Do you want to hold my hand?"

"Yes," I said. Chad gripped my hand tightly, and I smiled.

"You're really brave Jack," he whispered while I undid my gown. "You know that?"

_No I'm not_. I didn't say it but I wanted to. What kind of brave person fucks their gym teachers? There is no such thing, I'm not brave, just a pathetic kid.

Once I had my gown off, Chad started taking pictures of everything. I felt like I was being violated all over again. Chad took blood, took urine, took everything. He turned on a black light looking for semen, which I had washed all off. It took about an hour, but it felt much longer. When Chad was done he smiled at me again, and then let Josh in.

"Jackie!" he cried coming to my side. I tried to pull myself into his chest.

"The doctor will be in shortly," Chad said before leaving. Josh sat with me in his lap while we waited for the doctor. He rocked me while humming some song I wasn't familiar with, but it helped to calm me down. The doctor walked back into the room smiling, I didn't really see a reason to smile, but the smile stuck to his face.

"Now we need to take you to the X-ray room to check your bones, and then do a MRI to look at your muscles to make sure you have no internal bleeding or torn tendons."

"Can Josh come with me?"

"Only for the x-rays, for the MRI he has to stay in a room with me but he can still see you ok?" I simply nodded and they rushed me off to take X-rays and get the MRI done. After I got them done we waited for a hour in the room. Finally the doctor came in.

"Well Jack, you have no torn tendons or pulled muscles, just a sprained wrist. Unfortunately you also have a bad bump on your head so you will have to stay over night to make sure you don't have a concussion. Is there any way we can contact your parents?" Josh nodded.

"I can call my father right now," he said. Josh pulled out his cell phone and dialed dad's number. Dad didn't pick up so Josh left a message.

"I couldn't get a hold of him," said Josh, putting the phone down.

"Well we can check your emergency contact list," said the doctor walking out of the room. Shortly after a nurse named Shea came in. She brought me and Josh to the room I would be staying in. As I settled in Josh spoke up.

"I need to go get some things ok?" he stood to walk out of the room but I grabbed him.

"Please don't leave," I begged, "What if he comes back for me?"

"Who?" asked Josh, "did you know him?" I looked down at my hands in my lap.

"No," I lied.

"Then how will he find you?" Josh asked. I shrugged. Josh kissed my forehead, heading for the door again. "I'll be back soon, your safe ok?"

"What if he finds out I'm in this hospital?" I asked, panicking.

"He won't," Josh replied calmly, "but just in case I will tell the nurses to only let me and dad in ok?"

"What if he comes through my window?" I asked.

"We're on the 9th floor," said Josh, "Besides, how would he know which room you were in?"

"What if…"

"Jack stop it," Josh said firmly, "we can what if all night, or you can calm down and let me leave. The sooner I leave, the sooner I get back." I held back my tears, but nodded. He was right, I was being a baby about the whole thing; I didn't need to stress him like that. As Josh left, I heard him tell a passing nurse not to let anyone other than him and our father into our room. I didn't hear the nurse's reply, but either way I felt no safer than before.

"Knock, knock," said someone from the door way.

"Josh?" I asked hopefully, but dread filled me as the stranger stepped into view.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing

"Well sort of, that's my last name," Mr. Josh said smiling, "how are you?"

"What do you want?" I asked as I began to shake.

"I just wanted to come by to make sure you were alright and ask you if perhaps you wanted another go at it." I looked at him and sighed.

"No, please," I begged.

"Well maybe it would influence you to know your dad's already dead, car accident, it's a shame I never got to cause it, I hated Jim."

"What?" I said breathlessly.

"I'm your god father; I get first dibs on all of you. Then you'll have to deal with me for forever," he smiled and laughed.

"Go away!" I cried.

"Hmm, nah I think I'll stay. So, who have you told?"

"N-no one," I lied.

"Are you lying?"

"No," my gaze wandered elsewhere.

"Where's your brother?" the question startled me.

"I'm not sure," I whispered.

"Can I help you?" asked Josh from the door way, causing Mr. Josh to look away.

"Hello Josh, how are you?"

"Fine sir, and you?"

"A little tired, but other than that fine," Mr. Josh smiled. Josh smiled back; it made me sick to my stomach.

"How did you know we were here?" asked Josh.

"Oh, the hospital couldn't get a hold of your parents. I'm the emergency number so they called me."

"Oh," Josh chuckled, "That makes sense, did they tell you why he's in here?"

"No not really," Mr. Josh looked at me, "Is it bad?"

"Can I tell him Jack?" asked Josh walking over to me. I stared up at Mr. Josh, and shook my head.

"Tell me what?" asked Mr. Josh.

"Come on Jackie," Josh prodded, "He needs to know."

"He already does," Josh's eyes went wide, "He…" Josh turned back to Mr. Josh.

"Jackie, that wasn't very smart," scolded Mr. Josh playfully, I stared at him.

"You did this?" yelled Josh.

"Josh, it would be in your best interest right now to shut your yap." whispered Mr. Josh furiously.

"The hell with that!" Josh turned to the door, "Nurse!"

"You have 2 seconds to shut the fuck up, before I kill you." Mr. Josh was going red in the face.

"How can you stand there like that?" Josh spat, "You're dad's best friend! You were his best man, how can you do this?"

"Your asshole of a father is dead, and so are you." growled Mr. Josh.

"My father isn't dead!" yelled Josh, "But you are, you're going to prison Ryan!" Josh turned to get someone but Mr. Josh grabbed him and yanked him back.

"Who do you think you are?" asked Mr. Josh coldly.

"I could ask you the same thing," Josh growled, "let me go!"

"Shut up!" yelled Mr. Josh, "You will not disrespect me! You're just like your pathetic fuck head of a father! I will not stand for this, I'm taking what I want and you will not stop me!"

"Watch me," Josh replied coolly.

"Ever heard the expression 'If you're falling off a cliff you might as well try to fly'?"

"What?" asked Josh, Mr. Josh's words confused me too, I was beginning to think the man was crazy.

"Can you fly Joshie?"

"What? No of course I can't."

"That's a shame," Mr. Josh then let go of Josh and kicked him hard in the chest, sending Josh flying backwards and right out the window. A blood curdling scream escaped my lips. It lasted for about 2.5 seconds before Mr. Josh slapped me and I shut up. Tears began streaming down my face.

"What did you do?" I cried.

"I warned you," he spat, "I told you what would happen, you just couldn't keep your mouth shut huh?"

"Josh, my brother!" Mr. Josh slapped me again.

"Shut up! I'm all you have now," he yelled, "get used to it!" he yanked out my IV and yanked me out of the bed. He gripped my wrist tightly, pulling me from the room. A couple of nurses stopped us, that was when he decided to whip out a gun and shove it into my skull.

"Back the fuck up!" he started screaming and everyone backed off. He backed us into an elevator and we went down to the garage. He shoved me into a car that pulled up. Mr. Sone was driving. When we were both in, Mr. Sone sped off. Mr. Josh sat in the back with me trying to soothe me. I hit him and scratched at him, begging him to stop touching me. He didn't, but he did grip me by the chin and kiss me. I tried to pull away but Mr. Josh threw me down on my back, successfully pinning me down. I cried and begged to be let up, but Mr. Josh ignored me and silenced me with his mouth.

"I love you Jack," he whispered in my ear. I didn't reply, I knew if I did I would tell him how much I loathed him, and that would just make things worse. I probably would have kept silent if Mr. Josh hadn't pointed the gun to my head, and screamed for me to say it back.

"I love you too," I mumbled.

"Such a good boy," he cooed, "Now apologize."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I was feeling dead inside; my body was on auto pilot.

"For what?" I didn't do anything; my mind was still in shock. I don't know how I replied but I did.

"For disobeying you, you're right as usual, I'm just a slut, I'm your bitch. I'll never disobey you again." I turned my head in shame. I wanted to go home, I wanted to wake up and realize it was all a bad dream.

"Yeah, you can prove yourself when we get home." We drove in silence until we reached his home. He grabbed my arm tightly and led me right to his bedroom. He pushed me to the ground and closed the door; once the door was closed I got on my knees. He smiled and walked toward me.

"So how are you going to prove to me you're my bitch and you won't disobey me again?"

"However you want me too." My survival instincts were beginning to kick in. I knew what he wanted, and I knew if I kept him going I would eventually find a way out of this hell. He pushed my head against his hard on; I turned so my face was buried in his crotch. I began to lick him through his shorts causing him to moan, pushing harder. Then he shoved me back.

"I never said you could do that," he walked around me in circles. "Here you are, now how do I test you to make sure you don't disobey me again." He sat on the bed still thinking, "I could make you suck my cock but I don't want be blinded by pleasure, ah ha yes, yes I got it," he said, then he motioned for me to come to him, and I did.

He whispered in my ear, "I want you to make Mr. Sone want to fuck you, I'll watch." He studied my face then sent me out of the room.

I found Mr. Sone in the kitchen making a snack. I slipped in between him and the counter. My body began to quiver with fear and disgust for what I was about to do.

He stared at me with surprise then said "What do you want?"

I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. I felt him getting hard almost instantly. At first he didn't respond from shock, but soon he was kissing me back. He lifted me onto the counter, kissing me harder. I wrapped my legs around his back, and he took off my shirt and then his own. Then he took off my pants and started rubbing my crotch. He reached into my boxers and grabbed my cock, and roughly played with it. I began to pull back into some safe place in my mind. I watched the scene unfold before me like a bad porno.

I got off the counter and kneeled in front of him; I unzipped his pants and pulled them down, leaving him in his boxers. I pulled his cock out of his boxers and put my mouth around it. I whirled my tongue around it for a while until he pulled away; he picked me up and sat me on the table. He took off my boxers and then his own. He laid me down and then spread my legs open. He rammed into me and I cried out, then I started moaning with him and moving with him. Soon he came, filling my ass with his cum. I kissed him again then walked back to Mr. Josh's room still naked, where Mr. Josh joined me not long after.

"Not bad, I think you have proven yourself," he said, walking up to me and putting his hand on my face. "I think I'll let you be the slut you have been acting like, but for that to happen you must learn the rules." He walked to his dresser and pulled out a pair of small short shorts.

"Here they are:

#1. You don't do anything I haven't said you can. That means you can't leave or enter this room unless I say, you can't pee unless I say, and you can't move unless I say.

#2. You wear these shorts if you get to wear anything in this house.

#3. You get down on your knees for me whenever and wherever I please.

#4. You sleep on the floor in my room unless I say other wise.

#5. You don't speak back to me.

#6. Everyday when I come home I want you in this room waiting for me.

Got it?" I nodded.

"Oh, and one more thing, you address me as Master now."

I nodded and he pressed my head against his still hard crotch. He walked away from me, sitting on the bed. He grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me toward him. He pulled down his pants and boxers to reveal his hard cock, and held it out to me.

"This is your reward, if you follow the rules and I think that you deserve it I'll let you have some. Since you made up for being disobedient and did what I said, I have decided you can have it now, but I still want you to ask for it." I nodded.

"Please, master, let me suck your cock." he nodded and I took it and ran my tongue up and down it. Then I put my mouth around it, swirling my tongue, making him moan. I started to suck harder, my head bobbing up and down furiously. Soon he came in my mouth and I swallowed every last drop. He looked down at me smiling, and pulled me up into his lap. Mr. Josh turned and swung me on the bed. He lay on top of me, kissing me. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I let him into my mouth. His tongue conquered my mouth easily. I tried to kiss back, not sure of his wants and he nipped my tongue, so I just laid there and let him have his way with me. As he was kissing me he ran his fingers up and down my crack making me shiver. I moaned when he slipped two fingers into my hole. He started to move his fingers around and I started moaning like a whore. Soon my body tensed and I came between us. Mr. Josh got up.

"Lap up your mess bitch," he pointed to where my cum was on his stomach. I crawled toward him and started to lick it all off. When I was done, I licked my lips and pulled back but he stopped me and said, "I never said you could stop slut."

I continued to lick his stomach until he pushed me to the floor. He got dressed and said "I'll be back tonight. I want you to lay on the floor with your shorts on until I get back, but first go use the bathroom cause this is the only time I will let you go for a while."

I went to the bathroom, then put the shorts on and laid on the floor like he said and waited until he got back. He didn't get back until late, but I laid there even when my muscles cramped, scared of what would happen if I moved. While he was gone I began to think about the situation I was in and how I was going to get out. The more I thought about it the more panicked I became. I didn't want to be here, now or ever. I missed Josh and my dad; I just wanted to go home. I started sobbing to myself quietly. I hated Mr. Josh! I wanted to kill him. Most of all, I wanted him to take it all back, bring back my brother and my dad. It was my fault they were dead, my dirtiness was the reason they were dead.

He finally came in. I sat up and he walked to the bathroom. I heard the shower run, and when it stopped he walked out in a towel. He sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. I crawled towards him and laid my head on his knee. Half of me wanted to know what was wrong and the other half wished I had I knife so I could slit his throat. He looked up and smiled at me, and then he took me and held me in his arms. I felt him shake and I felt wet drops on my shoulder. I didn't move, I just let him cry. He pushed me back to the floor and yelled.

"This never happened!" he wiped his eyes. He put on some boxers, and got in bed, turning out the light. I curled up in a ball and tried to go to sleep.

Five minutes later the light was turned back on and Mr. Josh was at my side.

"Can you sleep with me and in the morning we pretend like it never happened?" I nodded and he picked me up and put me on one side of the bed, then got in on the other. I had finally decided Mr. Josh was crazy.

He pulled me close and held me tightly. He cried off and on until he fell asleep. I stayed awake holding him. At 5:00 am I remembered what he said about pretending it never happened so I got out of bed and laid on the floor. Although I couldn't sleep, I knew I wouldn't be in trouble for not pretending it never happened. At six he got up and I acted like I was asleep. He sat up in bed but didn't move and I felt his eyes on my back making me want to shiver. He got up and walked over to me; Mr. Josh knelt down in front of me and picked me up. I groaned, but didn't open my eyes, afraid of what might happened if he knew I was awake. He laid me down in bed and covered me up and kissed my head. I listened to him shower, dress, scribble something on a sheet of paper and stick it down on the bed side table. He kissed my cheek then left the room; I was thankful for the bed and fell asleep. I woke up two hours later and rubbed my eyes. I found what he had scribbled down on the table and read it, it said:

_Jack,_

_When you wake up you may leave the room, only to get breakfast and lunch. You can read any book you would like in my room; you may sleep or just sit there but stay in the room._

_Love,_

_Your master_

I crumpled up his note and threw it away feeling slightly more dead inside. I got up and went to the kitchen and froze at what I saw. Mr. Sone had some man sucking his cock. I wasn't sure whether to leave or not, but I decided on leaving when Mr. Sone said, "Care to join us?"

I turned around and walked back to the bedroom and closed the door. I walked up to the book shelf and looked at all the books. I heard the door open and close. I didn't turn around, not even when a strong hand grabbed my crotch. The person started to rub my crotch and somehow found a way to get his fingers into my tight shorts. He swung me around and I realized it was Mr. Sone, and behind him was his 'friend' lying on Mr. Josh's bed naked, staring at me.

"Master won't like that you have some bitch on his bed." I said, choking on the word master. Mr. Sone slapped me.

"He won't mind as long as I don't make a mess, and that bitch is going to fuck you. So get on your knees whore, crawl to him and beg him to fuck you in the ass, got it."

"I'm not your bitch, Justin," he slapped me again.

"Yes you are, and how dare you call me that! I am your Master as much as Ryan is, now on your knees bitch." I was stuck. I didn't want to do this but I didn't know if Ryan would be mad if I didn't. Also, if Justin and Ryan were as close as I guessed, then Justin was probably right about the whole master thing. I glared at Mr. Sone but got on my knees anyway; better to be safe than sorry. I crawled to the side of the bed where Mr. Sone's friend waited.

"Please Master, fuck me," a smile appeared on the man's face and he nodded. He pulled me into his lap and onto the bed. He laid me down and unbuttoned my shorts. Pulling down my shorts, he spread my legs and immediately rammed in to me, making me cry out. He banged me for a while before Mr. Sone sat on my stomach, and pulled my head, neck, and upper back towards him. Then he shoved his dick in my mouth. He moved my head back and forth at the speed he wanted. Mr. Sone started moaning real loud and I saw that his friend was eating his ass out.

My mind started doing that drifting thing were it feels like I'm watching a movie, like I'm on auto pilot, where my body's there but my mind isn't. Mr. Sone shoved my face to his pelvis and moaned so loud it was like a scream as he filled my mouth with cum, that I swallowed immediately. He turned around on my stomach and started kissing his friend who was moaning loudly. Finally the man came with a powerful load causing him and me to cry out in pleasure. The man pulled out and spit on me, then left with Mr. Sone. I put my shorts back on and sat up. I decided to pretend that it hadn't happened by getting back in the covers and going to sleep. Unfortunately, I had a bad boner so I went to the bathroom and decided to take a shower. While in the shower I jacked off. When I finished, I got out of the shower and put my shorts back on, making sure not to get anything caught in the zipper because I wasn't aloud to wear boxers. I dried off my hair and went back to bed. This time I actually fell asleep.

I was woken up by the sound of Ryan taking a shower. I laid back down, closing my eyes, and listened to him move around the room. I heard his foot steps stop in front of me and I felt his breath on my face.

"Jack," he whispered. When I didn't move, he said it louder, "Jackie."

My eyes fluttered open, and I saw him squatting by the bed. "Have you been sleeping all day?" I nodded, and he grabbed me and kissed me, his tongue moved around my mouth and I realized what he was doing. I pulled back quickly.

"Would you like to share something with me, such as why it taste like semen in your mouth?" I nodded and he said, "Go right ahead."

"I woke up at eight and went to get some breakfast, but when I walked into the kitchen Master had some man sucking him off. He saw me and asked if I wanted to join. I shook my head and walked back to your room and closed the door and a couple minutes later someone came into the room and grabbed me from behind. The person grabbed my uh, my crotch and he started rubbing it then he put his fingers in my shorts. They spun me around and I realized it was Master; he had his friend on your bed. He told me to go to his friend and beg him to fuck me. I didn't want to, but I was scared you would get mad if I didn't so I did, but during when he was fucking me Master put his cock in my mouth and made me suck him off. I'm sorry I shouldn't blame Master, I'm a slut, I asked for it." Mr. Josh stood up and left the room. A couple a minutes later Justin came in and walked up to me, pinning me to the bed.

"Bitch, you are going to go tell Ryan that you lied, that I never said anything, that you came to us and begged for it. We thought you deserved it so we gave it to you. Got it?" I nodded and he left the room, only to come back seconds later. Justin brought Ryan back in and said "Listen to him he admitted to lying." Ryan looked at me.

"Is that true, did you lie?" I nodded then he added, before Justin could say I told you so," Did he threaten you?" I shook my head no and Mr. Josh walked up to me and slapped me.

"Don't lie to me!" he told Justin to leave and then he locked the door. He came back to me and slapped me again "Why did you lie to me?"

"Because I was ashamed," I said and he shook his head.

"I'm talking about why did you cover for Justin?"

"I didn't, Master is right, I lied."

"He's not your Master, I am, so don't lie to me to cover up for scum!" he spat.

"I'm sorry-"

He cut me off, "The first story you told was true wasn't it?" I nodded. "Good, now just don't lie to me, I know Justin is intimidating but don't let that stop you from telling me the truth, ever. Ok?" I nodded and he ruffled my hair, then he got up and left, several minutes later he came back with a very angry Justin.

"Apologize to him!" yelled Ryan and Justin shook his head no.

"NO, that's ok," I yelled. "I don't need or want one." Ryan looked irritated but nodded. He sent Justin out of the room and left himself to go get dinner. He came back minutes later and gave me some dinner. I ate in silence and I felt Ryan staring at me the entire time. I finally looked back at him but didn't say anything.

Ryan pulled me over to him; he sat me in his lap and buried his face into my chest.

"I'm so sorry!" he sobbed, "I never meant to hurt anyone, I just wanted you to love me, and now you hate me!"

I did hate him, I loathed him for everything he had done- for raping me, for killing Josh, for keeping me here with him.

"No I don't," I lied "I do love you, I want to be here with you." He looked at me.

"Do you like kissing me?" he asked suddenly, surprising me.

"Oh, um, I don't know."

"Hmm, well then how about this, I am going to go wait in the bathroom and if you do, get out of bed and come into the bathroom, if you don't, then don't come in and in 10 minutes time I'll come out and I'll know. Starting now," he said walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He counted out the number of minutes I had left. I sat on the edge of the bed listening to him count the seconds of the last minute.

"15...14...13...12....." I got up and stood in front of the door willing myself to walk in and walk away at the same time. "5.....4....3.....2..." I opened the door and walked in closing it behind me, not really sure what I was thinking, but knowing it would only cause trouble. I looked up at Mr. Josh and he was smiling.

"Talk about waiting 'til the last second," I grinned a little but tried to shoot death rays through my eyes. "You're scared aren't you?" I nodded.

_Of course I am!_ I screamed at him inside my head.

"Why?" I shrugged.

_Because you have destroyed my life!_

He lifted himself onto the sink counter and motioned me to come to him, and I did. I stopped when I was against the counter between his legs facing him. He put his hand firmly on my lower back right above my shorts; he slipped two fingers into them making me shudder. I stared at his chest until he used his other hand to tilt my chin up to look at his face.

His hand slipped across my face to the back of my head then pulled my head toward him. As our lips met he crushed my hips against the counter causing me to release a low moan. This time he waited for me to make the move and for some unknown reason I did. My tongue brushed against his bottom lip and he let me in. I could taste the gum he was chewing. I put my arms nervously around his neck causing his smile to broaden. He sat me in his lap, with his hand on my back, the other toying with my boxers. Our lips met again and we battled for ownership of each other's mouths. I could feel Mr. Josh's hard-on under me and I froze as I regained my senses. I realized Mr. Josh had pulled away.

"I'm sorry," I said, adverting my eyes away from his. He gently pushed my face toward him.

"It's ok, I won't push you, let's get you back, ok?"

Ryan pushed me into the room and I fell to the floor. He walked to the bed and sat down on the edge, motioning me to crawl toward him, and I did. When I got there he pulled my head into his lap and started petting my head.

He then pulled me up onto his lap and I curled up like a cat. He smiled, then laid on his back. I crawled up and laid on his chest, watching him doze off to sleep. Once he was asleep, I got off and laid on the ground dozing off.

I was awoken by the sound of someone entering the room. I kept my eyes closed and breathing even. The person knelt beside me and picked me up. I groaned slightly but did not stir. They carried me out to the dark hallway and into another room. They laid me on the bed and took off my shorts, and then they tied me up with ropes binding my feet together and my hands behind my back.

I heard them leave and come back; they took something and stuffed it in my mouth then covered it with some sort of tape. They picked me up again and this time carried me out the front door. The person laid me in a car then closed the door. They got in on the other side in the front and drove off. We drove for so long I actually fell asleep, but woke up when they stopped the car. Once again they picked me up and brought me back into a building of some sort. I was laid down on something soft then they left and drove off. I waited for five minutes listening for any sounds but didn't hear any so I opened my eyes. I was on a sofa in some house and had duck tape over my mouth. I tried to sit up but couldn't, so I decided for the time being to make use of the sofa and sleep. I fell asleep almost instantly.

I was awoken by a sting across my mouth. Someone had ripped off the duck tape. I spit out the rag that was in my mouth, my eyes opened and right there in front of my face was some man's cock. I looked up and I saw the man's face. It made me gasp; it was Justin's friend that had raped me. He grabbed my arm and sat me up right and I saw a disturbing sight. The entire room was full of naked men, blowing each other, fucking, kissing, any sexual position you could think of was being accomplished in the room. I saw more guys in the hallway and guessed they were all over the house. The man stared down on me lustfully but didn't touch me. Not long after the front door opened and Justin came in he looked over at me and grinned. As he walked toward me I stood up, almost falling over, and yelled at him.

"Take me back!" I yelled, but no one seemed to care. A few stopped what they were doing to watch but others continued ignoring me.

"You don't give orders, I do!" he yelled back. More began to stop what they were doing to watch but I didn't care.

"Why did you take me?"

"Because you lied!"

"I told Ryan the truth!"

"I don't care, I told you to cover for me!"

"I tried, but he already knew you idiot!"

"How dare you talk to me like that!" he spat and almost everyone was watching us now.

"Your right, Ryan told me to call you, oh what was it, scum," I said coolly.

"If he said that then I'll teach the bitch a lesson." I laughed.

"You'd teach him a lesson? If it weren't for me you might be dead right now, but no, I saved your ass and saved you from humiliation. You should be thanking me!" Justin flushed with anger.

"I was going to select five people to fuck you then take you back as punishment, forcing you to tell Ryan you ran away, but now since you pissed me off you have to get every single person in this house to fuck you before you can leave!" I started struggling to get my hands untied from behind my back.

Justin laughed, "Frightened?" I stopped moving.

"Do your worst." He bent down so we were face to face then smiled.

"Your choice, who do you want first?" I spat in his face and he slapped me.

"Let's make it everyone twice and guess what, that means you have one week to get 112 people to fuck you or I hunt down anyone you hold dear and slit their throats. So get started slut!" he walked off and a man came up to me, and forced me on my back. He fucked me till he was done. I didn't moan, I was to busy trying to slip out of the ropes. I only got 16 people done that day but if I could keep it up I could get them all done in a week.

My ass hurt. I was fucked till I bled and till cum was leaking out my ass. When this happened, Justin would collect it in a cup, and said it would be breakfast on my last day. I couldn't fall asleep no matter how tired I was because I was still surrounded by naked men.

I sat up the next morning and people who were already awake fucked me. I got 7 out of the way in the morning. By the time they were done a lot more were awake, so I spent the rest of the day being fucked. I got 20 out of the way that day but was really tired. I fell asleep instantly, with the slimy feeling of all the cum up my ass.

I was awoken on the third day by someone on top of me, fucking me. I didn't move, I just laid there, letting everyone come and go like a slut. The pain was getting worse with every bang. That day I got 12 done, 48 in total so far.

The next morning I was once again awoken by someone fucking me but the pain was gone, so I started moaning, making them bang faster and harder. I didn't bleed any more and I got 34 done. I continued every day and on the last day when the last man had had his second turn I collapsed. Justin came to me with the cup.

"Drink it and I'll take you home." I took the cup from him but didn't look at the stuff inside. I brought it to my mouth and swallowed all of the slimy liquid.

"Good, I hope you learned your lesson." I nodded and he gave me a shower and something to wear, then he put me in the car and began to drive.

"Ok, when we get back I'll tell Ryan that I found you sleeping on a bench in the park, you ran away. Ok?" I nodded, "good, add what you want like your reason, but don't tell him anything that really happened." I nodded.

As we drove I dozed off; when we got there he got out of the car and pulled me out as well. He grabbed my arm and walked us up the steps. When we got in he led me to Ryan's bed room where he was sleeping.

"Ryan," said Justin waking Ryan up. Ryan looked at me with furious eyes.

"Where was he?"

"I found him in the park on a bench asleep."

"Thank you Justin, I'll take it from here," he said. Justin nodded and left, giving me a warning glance that Ryan didn't see. "Why did you run?"

"I don't know," I said quietly.

"Well then I think you owe me one thing and that's honesty," I nodded and he continued. "I'll ask you one question and you need to answer it truthfully ok?" I nodded.

"Did Justin take you or did you run?" I shook my head.

"No, I ran."

"He did, didn't he?" I shook my head.

"No I ran--"

"You are the worst liar in the history of liars, where did he take you?"

"I ran!"

"What did he do--"

"STOP!" Ryan looked at me surprised, "I ran."

"Why are you covering for that scum?"

"I ran because I hate you! I hate what you did to my brother! I hate what you did to me, so I RAN!"

"He did something so bad that you really won't fess up, hmmm? What was it? He raped you? Did he get other people to rape you?"

"How many times do I have to say it before you believe me?" I yelled. He looked at me with sad eyes.

"If you don't tell me I will have to punish you, for 'running'," he said "Or would a better word be lying?"

"Punish me if you must, Ryan," I spat coldly. "But make sure you remember it was because I ran."

Ryan growled at me. He got up and grabbed a whip from the closet. He came back to me and stripped me of my clothes then he started whipping me. It stung like a bitch and Ryan did it for a hour, 'til not one single spot on my back didn't have a cut on it. By the time he was done I was crying and bleeding. He took a hand cuff and put one on my wrist, the other on the bed post so I couldn't move. Then he took the key and placed it on the dresser.

"If you can reach it you can leave and until you can, you're stuck here being whipped for two hours everyday." He left the room and then the house. The house then had an eerie silence to it. I stood up and reached to the dresser.


	4. Chapter 4

The dresser I could reach, but the key was a bit beyond my reach. I frantically looked around the room and found what I was looking for; sticking out the bottom of the bed was an umbrella. I grabbed it and walked back to the dresser. I put the tip of the umbrella on the key and pushed down on it and then pulled. The key landed next to my foot. I sat back down and unlocked the hand cuffs. I grabbed the clothes Justin had pulled out of Ryan's closet for me to wear and put them back on. I then opened the bedroom door. My heart was pounding, I felt like I was in the middle of a bad horror movie, like Freddy Kruger was about to walk around the corner. Then again, Mr. Josh was just as bad.

I walked up to the front door. I turned the knob and opened the door, running down the steps. When I got to the bottom I froze, there lying on the floor naked in a pool of blood was my mother. As tears filled my eyes I stumbled back up the stairs. At the top of the stairs I ran into Ryan and I fell to the floor sobbing. He picked me up and quickly carried me back to his room. He sat me on the bed and started rummaging around the room, until he had a packed suitcase sitting on the bed. He pulled me up by the arm and hurried me out the front door. Ryan put me in the car and locked the doors. In a few minutes he came back out with his suitcase and stuck it in the trunk. As he was getting in the car Justin's car was coming down the road.

"Lay down Jack so he can't see you!" Ryan shouted, but it was too late. Justin put his car in the front of the drive way. "Shit," I heard him mumble. Ryan locked all the doors as Justin came up to the car and knocked on the window.

"Ryan, open this door now!" Ryan unlocked the door and got out of the car, and stared at Justin.

"Yes?"

"Where do you think your going?"

"I'm going away for awhile."

"Then leave the kid."

"No."

"Why?"

"I need the kid on the trip."

"Where are you going?"

"His father's funeral, they're having it up north where the rest of the family is buried."

"I'll come too."

"Fine, now can we go?"

"Let me pack then I'll be ready."

"Clean up your mess while you're at it," said Ryan, pointing at my mother.

About an hour later Mr. Sone came out of the house with a suitcase. He got in his car and pulled away from the drive way, allowing Ryan to get out and lead the way. We got to the airport and Ryan whipped out two tickets to Detroit, Michigan. I wondered why my parents were being buried there. Ryan and I got on our flight leaving Mr. Sone at the gate, as he had no ticket. Mr. Sone was pissed as we walked away but Ryan didn't care so neither did I. When we got on the plane and found our seats Ryan lost it. I don't know how long he had been holding in whatever it was he was holding in, but it must have been a long time. Ryan cried in his hands for half the flight before he excused himself to the bathroom. A flight attendant approached me with worried eyes.

"Is that guy alright?" she asked carefully, as if she feared him. All in all she probably should fear him, in fact I should too but I didn't.

"Yeah, he's fine," I said smiling sadly. "We are going to Detroit to bury someone close to him."

"Oh my!" she gasped. "Poor man, if either of you need something just let me know." I nodded and she moved on. Ryan came out of the bathroom a couple of minutes later and sat back down next to me.

"Are you ok?" I asked quietly, he looked down at me and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm alright." He was quiet the rest of the flight. Ryan didn't speak until we got out of the airport and he hailed a cab. He told the man to take us to the best hotel there. We ended up at some hotel called the Atheneum. It was really nice and ideally located in Greek Town, the heart of Detroit's thriving arts, entertainment, sports and dining district. Although I doubted I would actually see any of it, the area was still nice. I remembered seeing that they earned the AAA Four-Diamond award for 15 consecutive years, even if I didn't know what that was, it still sounded impressive. Our suite was enormous and plushy, fitted in style for the comfort of corporate and casual travelers. It also had a skyline view and an indulgent marble bathroom with a deep soaking tub.

"You hungry Jackie?" Ryan asked, making me jump as I got out of the tub. I stumbled into his chest. Ryan laughed and picked me up. He carried me over and set me down on the bed, then laid down next to me.

"Yeah, a little I guess." He pressed his ear to my stomach and listened to it growl.

"Sounds like more than a little," he chuckled. I smiled a little, wondering how long it would last.

_Not long in my mind considering the man killed my family._

I knew I should be scared, I should be running, banging on doors for help, but as much as I knew I should, I couldn't. I needed him; I couldn't stand to be to far away from him for long. As sick as it sounded, I cared for him.

"Come on slow poke!" he said, pushing me out the door.

We ate at the Mosaic, famous for its food from all around the world. It was delicious, and we laughed a lot. I couldn't believe myself; here I was sitting in front of the man who had destroyed my life laughing. I had lost it; I didn't know what was wrong, I just knew something up there in my head had broken. I was officially crazy.

A week passed and I couldn't stand it anymore. I approached Ryan that night, praying he wouldn't get mad. I crawled onto the bed and put my head to his chest. He started stroking my arm reading his book.

"Ryan?" I ask quietly, he hadn't made me call him master since we got here.

"Hmm?" he replied, not hiding the boredom in his voice.

"What are we doing here?" That made him look at me, but it wasn't the angry look I had expected, instead it was a soft, puzzling look.

"What do you mean?" he asked, putting his book down and drawing me closer.

"What are we doing here, you know in Detroit? Are we gonna live here? Is my dad's funeral really gonna be here? Are we hiding from something? What? What is our purpose here?" he chuckled and ruffled up my hair.

"For someone so small you sure do have a lot of questions." I smiled meekly. "Well first, we might live here, I like it here. Two, no, none of your family is going to be buried here; I just needed an excuse to get rid of Justin. Three, no, I'm not hiding anymore; I'm here to put you in a safe place while I sort things out. Our purpose here, love bug, is to tie up loose ends and start new." I looked up at him and frowned. "What now?" I wanted to ask him what he was going to sort out, and who it was with and why it had started, but I didn't.

Instead I said, "I want strawberries," he smiled down at me and winked.

"Coming right up baby."

The next morning was a strange one. A lot of things happened, some of which I can barley remember. I remember guys in ski masks breaking our door down, and I remember them splattering Ryan's brains all over the hotel room. I remember being groped by one man in a ski mask; I remember being pulled from the hotel with a gun pressed to my back and a car, and the drugged cloth that was held to my face. How I got here, in this dark damp cellar, I may never know. As I woke up a man in the corner of the room walked over to me. He crouched down next to me.

"Sleep well cutie?" he asked, stroking my cheek. I smacked his hand away and he laughed. He grabbed my hair, pulling it back sharply to make me cry out. The man beat and cut me, torturing me until he stuck a gun under my chin.

"Try it again you little whore." I started shaking. How many times would this happen to me? How many times would I be subjected to do what people want in order to stay alive?

"What do you want?" I asked quietly. He grinned.

"Thing every man wants when he takes a little whore from its pimp," he laughed.

I tried to squirm away from him but he pulled me back roughly. He kissed me and started taking off my pants, when _it_ happened. There was a series of loud crashes and screams from upstairs. The man shoved me away from him and ran up stairs. I curled my self into a ball, waiting for the next set of men to come and get me.

Come they did, but they were not the men I was expecting.

I was scooped up into a man's arms.

I tried to push away but then he said, "Calm down kiddo, its ok, i'm a police officer, your safe now."

I tried to fight against the darkness taking over, but ended up surrendering myself to the black void awaiting me.

Beeping was all I heard as I woke. I opened my eyes and found myself in the hospital. I tried to sit up but couldn't due to the sharp pain in my chest. It hurt so bad it made my eyes water. The door to the room opened and closed as the police officer from the house came into view. He sat in the chair next to me and smiled.

"I'm Officer Walker but you can call me Steve," he said, holding his hand out for me to shake. "So how do you fe--" he was cut off by the door opening and closing again. A man in a suit came in, and walked up to me. The police officer pulled him to the side, and they mumbled for a while. The man in the suit then walked up to me again and sat in the chair that Steve had sat in, and Steve stood against the wall.

"Hello Jack, I'm Thomas but you can call me Tom," he said. "I'm here about your parents, because they're .... gone, and they meant to leave you with your godfathers but can't now and you have no other living relatives--" I cut him off with tearful eyes as I was reminded of the still fresh wounds.

Steve pulled the man up by his arm and pushed him out the room. He came back and sat next to me.

"Sorry kid. What the man was trying to say is that you have no choice now but to go into foster care." I laid there staring at him, willing to wake up from this dream and believe it was the truth at the same time. The police man handed me some files.

"Here, look through them and pick one you like. They will visit and hopefully they like you too."

Tears fell from my eyes as I took the files. Steve gave me a sad look then got up and left. I looked through the files and cried when I opened one that had a son that looked like Josh. I threw the files to the ground and screamed. Steve came back in and looked at me worried.

"What's wrong, are you in pain?" I didn't answer, I wasn't sure I could. I was slightly positive that someone had removed my ability to talk.

"I'm sorry," he picked up the files and said "did you find one?" I didn't answer; I just turned away from him.

"How about I pick?" he asked softly. "Do The Scott's sound ok?" I still didn't answer. I wanted him to go away. My heart was aching with the most severe pain I had ever felt. I wasn't sure if it ached because I wanted my life back, or my family or even for Ryan, I just knew it ached.

"I'll arrange a visit ASAP. In the mean time, you probably need some rest."

A nurse came in minutes later to give me some pain killers. She also explained what they had done. She said I got my x-rays done and had to get stitches in many places, including twenty-two in my arm, and five on my legs. Two cuts needed six stitches, two cuts had thirteen, and a huge one needed thirty-seven. I had one on my chest that had twenty-six and one on my side from the bottom of my arm pit to the top of my thigh with two hundred fifty-nine stitches. I was covered in bandages that were extremely itchy. After the nurse gave me my drugs I fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up sometime later when a doctor came in with my X-rays.

"Well Jack, it seems you have broken three ribs and have a broken collar bone." He seemed to be waiting for some sort of reaction, but I didn't have one.

"No surgery though," he said calmly, "just a corset brace for your ribs and a sling for your arm to stop it from moving to let the collar bone grow back normally." I stared at him. "We need you to stay here for a day or two to make sure putting you back in the busy world won't put you in pain." When I still said nothing and I didn't react, he left to get me a brace and sling. A little while later Steve came back in to talk to me.

"Hey kid, one of the Scott's is free and is coming down to meet you." I didn't bother reacting to this either, I felt so dead inside and I couldn't explain it.

"His name's Jason," he said "he's the 16 year old. The rest of the family will come tomorrow because it'll be Saturday and they'll have time to come then." I turned my head as my eyes teared up; he was the boy who looked like Josh.

"Jason will be here in thirty minutes." He didn't leave, just sat there waiting for a reaction that wouldn't come. The doctor returned with the brace and sling. He helped me get them on and let me get up and walk to see if the brace helped. It was painful but I was sure after a goodnight sleep it would be easier. There was a knock at the door as I was settling back in bed. Steve got up and answered the door. A teenager about 6" with black and navy blue hair dressed in all black walked in. He shook hands with Steve and the doctor and they left. The kid turned around and came over to me sitting in the chair by my bed.

"Hey, I'm Jason, you're Jack right?" I nodded. He was the first person to get a reaction from me. He looked so much like Josh I wanted to cry. He smiled at me, so I smiled back. Then we just sat there not really sure what to do or say.

"Um.... so, uh…well I have to admit when my parents told me about the whole foster thing I was less than thrilled."

"Oh," was all I could manage to choke out.

"Oh, don't take it the wrong way," he said quickly, "the reason I didn't like it was the fear of having an older brother or sister. I really didn't like the idea of being the younger kid in the family, but my parents assured me that the reason for signing up to be foster parents was to help kids younger than me."

"So now you want a foster kid?"

"Yeah, I think it will be cool and I really want a little brother, so when I got the call today I was completely thrilled, I knew that it would be awesome."

"How?"

"How what?"

"How do you know it's going to be awesome?"

"I just know, you seem like a cool kid."

"Ok, so what's next?"

"I uh… tell me about you, tell me why you picked our family, tell me anything."

"Um…I don't know, I am 13 and I love video games." I said, skipping the whole why I picked his family. Suddenly I wanted to talk to this boy.

"I'm 16, so what kind of video games do you like?"

"I love racing games like Need for Speed, and stuff."

"I like racing games but I like games that have sniper shooting in them better."

"Do you have a game system?"

"Yeah, I just got a Xbox."

"Awesome, are you into sports?"

"Not really, the only time I watch sports is if a friend of mine has a game or my dad is watching football and I'm bored stiff," he said, making me smile.

"Oh, so what do you like to do?"

"I paint, I love art, and I'm in a band."

"Cool, how often do you paint and what are you in your band?"

"I paint everyday for like, as long as I can, and i'm the drummer in my band."

"Cool, you have to show me some of you paintings, and let me listen to your band."

"No doubt. So how bout you?"

"Well, I want to play soccer on some sort of team."

"If you get on a team I won't miss a game."

"Cool. Oh, and I used to be the guitarist in my school jazz band."

"Awesome, how good are you?"

"Pretty good, why?"

"The guitarist in our band is moving so we have been looking for a new guitarist." Jason replied. Talking to him was so normal even in an anti-normal situation like this, and I couldn't stop.

"Oh."

"You should totally try out!"

"Oh, I don't know."

"Come on dude, chicks love the guitarist."

"I thought they like dark haired emo kid drummers." I teased.

"They do, but I'm gay, so I don't care."

"Oh, you're gay?"

"Yeah, hope you don't mind."

"Well I don't, I've just never met a gay kid before." After I said that Jason busted out laughing and I did too.

"Well, I am glad to be the first gay kid you have ever met." He said smiling at me, and I smiled back. We talked for forever about anything and everything. We talked until they told us that visiting hours were over. Jason said that he would see me tomorrow and that I had nothing to worry about. He said his parents would love me. After he left Steve came back in.

"He was here for a while, so I'm guessing things went well?" He asked, sitting in the chair next to the bed. "Is he everything you hoped for?"

"I don't know, I don't think I really knew what to expect, but I do like him. He is really sweet and is into a lot of things I'm into. I just hope his parents like me."

"This is going to sound weird, but what's not to like?"

"Um, I don't know, maybe all the stitches that will turn to scars."

"Jack, they aren't going to care what you look like, or how badly injured you are. They're only going to care about what's on the inside. I've only known you for a few hours and I would take you. Now get some sleep kiddo." He stood up and left the room. I turned in the bed until I was as comfortable as I could get, and let sleep take me.

I was woken up the next morning by the sun shining brightly through the window. I would have gone back to sleep but my stomach said otherwise. I pressed the call button and a nurse rushed in.

"Yes, Mr. Porter?" she asked, making me giggle. I stopped when I saw her stern face.

"Can I please have something to eat?" she smiled and left the room. Not long after she returned with a container of cereal, a milk carton, and some apple juice. I thanked her and she left. As she left Steve entered the room. He came and sat next to me and watched me eat. When I was done he decided to speak.

"So, how did you sleep?" he asked.

"Fine, I mean I've slept better, but considering the amount of pain I'm in, I slept well." I said, grimacing.

"Well they're here," he said, making me choke on the apple juice the nurse had just brought me.

"How long have they been waiting?" I asked.

"Don't worry, not that long. Would you like to meet the rest of them?" I nodded my head and he opened the door to a family of three. There was Jason; he was wearing all black, tight black jeans, and black button up shirt, a white and black checkered belt, and a crimson red tie. After him were his parents, the man was tall, he had brown hair and had on glasses. He was wearing a light brown sweater vest with a white shirt underneath. The woman was thin with blonde hair; she was wearing a red overcoat and skirt with a black under shirt.

"Jack, this is Mr. and Mrs. Scott, I think I will leave you guys alone." Mrs. Scott took the place of Steve, and held my hand. I looked up at her and she smiled.

"My name is Nancy, and my husband's name is Walter."

"I'm Jack," I replied to her and she smiled.

"We know, Jason couldn't stop talking about you last night at dinner," she laughed. I looked over at Jason and he smiled at me. "Jason, could you leave us alone for a little while?" Jason nodded and left. "Honey, we need to ask you some question that may seem rude but we need to ask them. Ok?"

"Yes." I said looking down.

"Honey, what can you tell me about were you came from, what happened?" I looked at her suddenly scared. She squeezed my hand and I calmed down. "Never mind, we can do this later." I nodded and they left to find a doctor to see if they could take me home yet.

When we got to their house I was exhausted, what had happened over these few weeks had really taken its toll on me. Jason showed me to my room and I collapsed on my bed. I slept horribly, twisting and turning due to the nightmare I was having. I woke up with a start, sweat making my clothes stick to me. It was only 6 pm.

I exchanged my clothes for new, non-soaked ones, and quietly crept up the stairs. The house was really quiet except for the low hum of a television. As I reached the top I saw Jason spread out on the couch. I walked toward him quietly; although I had clicked instantly with him, I was still nervous. He looked up from the television when he heard me approaching, and smiled.

"Sleep well?" he asked. I shook my head. I was standing in the middle of the room, the hard wood floors freezing my bare feet. He frowned, "why not?"

"I uh, had a nightmare." I said, quietly embarrassed of myself.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked. I shook my head, tears threatening to spill over. His frown deepened "You want to come sit with me?" I stared at him for a while; he smiled and patted the spot next to him. Jason turned back to the television. I supposed he was trying to make me feel more comfortable by not staring at me. It worked, and I sat next to him. I was as stiff as could be, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, the less attention he paid to me, the more comfortable I felt. Soon I was snuggled up to his side with his arm around me. I was really comfortable and fell asleep again. This time I slept better, no nightmares or scary memories, just a peaceful sleep.

I woke up again at around 8 pm starving. Jason was gone. I looked around the house frantic and couldn't find him. I broke down crying, scared that he had abandoned me. About half way through said break down, the back door opened and in walks Jason carrying some bags of food. I ran to him, clinging to his shirt. He put the bags down and wrapped his arms around my waist, letting me cry. When I was done, he lifted my head up with his finger and gave me a puzzled look.

"Was I gone that long?" he asked, placing his hand on the side of my head, gently stroking my cheek with his thumb. I didn't say anything, I simply dropped my hands from his shirt and backed away realizing how childish I had been. He reached out to me again and I just turned away and went back to the couch. He came and sat next to me, handing me some food. Jason grabbed the remote and flipped though the channels. He didn't talk about what happened and I was glad, I didn't really want to talk about it because I really didn't know what had happened, or why I had reacted the way I did. When we finished dinner we threw away our trash and we went our separate ways to bed.

I changed into pajamas, which consisted of a pair of plaid pants and a black tank top, and got into bed. About fifteen minutes later, I realized getting to sleep was an impossible act without someone with me. I had grown so use to having Ryan with me, that now I couldn't stand an empty bed.

I tossed and turned until about 2 o'clock in the morning when I realized I couldn't take it anymore and got up. I crept through the house with little to no noise. I made it up the stairs and to Jason's room. I opened the door which creaked loudly and closed it behind me. Jason was in bed, covers pulled tightly to his chin, sleeping with his bedside lamp on. I crept toward him, slightly scared of waking him up. When I reached his sleeping form I shook him slightly.

"Jason?" I whispered. Jason's eyes fluttered open and landed on me.

"Jack?" he asked tiredly. "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep, I'm scared to be by myself," I mumbled, embarrassed once more by my childlike behavior. Jason lifted his head off the pillow and looked at me strangely. Then he let his head fall back to the pillow and lifted up his covers.

"Get on in here," he said tiredly. I hesitated for a moment, realizing that he was only in his boxers, but I saw his arm lowering itself back to the bed and jumped in. Jason covered us back up and pulled me tightly to his bare chest. He reached over me and turned out the light. Not but ten minutes later I heard his breathing even out and knew he had fallen back to sleep. I tried to relax in his arms and succeeded. About five minutes after him, I too fell asleep. I woke in the morning to the sound of yelling.

"What the hell is this?" I shot up in bed, followed by Jason. There in his doorway was his dad bright red with anger. His father stomped up to us, throwing back the covers of the bed and letting the cold air touch our bare skin. He grabbed me by the shirt and yanked me out of bed slamming me up against the wall. I looked over to Jason to see a horror stricken look stuck to his face. "You haven't been here more than a day and you're already trying to put moves on my son you sick whore!" he screamed into my face.

When Jason saw me tearing up he took action. He jumped out of bed and shoved his father aside. I wrapped my arms tightly around his chest and he put his arms just as tightly around my shoulders. His father got up, bright red now.

"Dad stop, Jack just came up to my room when he got scared last night. Leave him alone!" Jason cried, but that just made him madder.

"Oh really?" he screamed, "and just what had you so frighten that you crawled your slutty little ass into my son's bed!"

"Don't talk to him like that!" Jason yelled back, making his dad even angrier. Walter back handed Jason so hard that he fell to the floor. I knelt down next to him to see if he was ok, just to be roughly pulled to my feet by Walter. I didn't understand why he was so mad, but he was. Walter pulled me all the way back down stairs to my bedroom where he tossed me away from him and locked the door. He approached me and I crawled as far back as the wall would let me. He pulled me up to my feet, then sat down on the bed, and drew me over his knees and pulled down my pajama pants. The heat in my backside quickly built as Walter set up a fierce rhythm of stinging swats, and when the pain became too much, I surrendered myself to the tears, and Walter slowed.

"Why were you in bed with my son?" he asked in a soothing voice.

"Because… I'm a whore… S-sir," I hiccupped, tears still falling onto the floor below.

"What makes you a whore?" Walter asked, spanking me in an almost gentle way now.

"I let men have their way with me," I sobbed. Walter stopped spanking and began rubbing my back.

"Is that so?" he asked in a malicious voice.

"Yes," I whispered. Walter began moving his hand lower and lower until he was rubbing my still sore ass. Walter took two fingers and inserted them in my hole; I cried out at the sudden intrusion but was quickly silenced when he hit my prostate. I gasped and he chuckled.

"You like this don't you, my little faggot whore?" he asked soothingly. All I could do is moan and mewl at the attack to my prostate. Walter laughed again, then threw me onto my back on my bed.

"No, please, I'm not…"I couldn't finish my sentence, as he slapped me across the cheek, hard.

"Let's get one thing straight, faggot," he growled, as he loomed over me, "this isn't a request. You can either stop fighting and give me what I want, or you can try to fight me and I'll take it from you. It's your choice."

And take he did. I fought back valiantly, but he was much stronger than me. After a few blows to the stomach, I was sobbing, wishing for the pain to stop. I barely noticed as he roughly jerked down my pants, but after he plunged in with no lube except his own spit and with no preparation, I howled in agony.

"Keep your fuckin' mouth shut, bitch," he hissed. "You get me caught, and you'll regret it." He reached down and pulled his sock off of his foot and shoved it in my mouth.

He quickly had his way with me, and laid next to me. He stroked my back and whispered in my ear.

"You are such a whore Jack, a worthless whore that no one will take in and no one will love like I do, and yet you disrespect me by getting in bed with my son."

"Sorry…" I said quietly.

"Shh…" hushed Walter. "I forgive you, but if I ever catch you in bed with my son, or anyone else, I will kill you. Do you understand?" I nodded, "Good boy Jackie," Walter said.

"I only want to help you become what you were destined to be, a whore, but you make it difficult when you don't listen. You are not ready to be with more men, right now let me teach you, prepare you. Then you can be the slut you always wanted to be."

I looked up at Walter, he hurt me; I should run, I should fight, but I couldn't.

"Thank you sir, I won't disobey you again." I said, fighting to keep my eyes open. The spanking, fucking, and crying had wiped me out.

"You're welcome my little whore," Walter whispered, standing and removing himself from my room, allowing me to fall back to sleep.

_**Just thought I would try to explain to the confused, Ryan is Mr. Josh's first name and Justin is Mr. Sone's First name**_

_**Ryan is dead, he was killed by some gang members he came back to patch things up with. I know it gets super confusing when Jack starts to care for the man, but Jack cant help it he both hates and is intrigued by the dangerous man. Ryan himself is a very complex person, he's a little psychotic and has massive mood swings, and in his own sick twisted way, he really loves Jack**_

_**Jacks family is all dead**_

_**Walter is mad because he knows Jason is gay and doesn't know how to handle it and he kinda walks off the deep end when he finds Jack and Jason in the same bed. It was completely innocent, but Walter takes it the wrong way, and kinda looses it with Jack.**_

_**Hope that cleared some stuff up**_


	5. Chapter 5

I shot up in bed due to the nightmare I had just experienced, but quickly fell back down as the pain in my backside reminded me of the morning's events. I got up slowly, I still didn't understand why Walter had gotten so mad, but I found out fast that telling him what he wanted to hear, caused me less pain. I slowly walked up the stairs to the living room and found Jason on the couch again, watching TV. He looked over at me and I could clearly see the black and blue bruise on his face. As soon as he saw me he stood up and walked over to me. He brought his hand up to my face and I flinched, waiting for him to hit me, but he didn't. The blow never came, instead a soft caressing touch on my cheek. I looked up at Jason and he had tears in his eyes, he looked so much like Josh after Ryan and Justin had broken him. I started to cry at the simple thought.

"Jack," Jason said softly grabbing my attention. "What happened?" I blinked my tears away and turned to go sit down, but Jason wasn't having that he gripped my arm tightly and swung me back to face him. "What did that bastard do to you?"

"Nothing," I mumbled dryly,

"Please don't lie to me Jack," he whispered "He hurt you and I want to know how, right now." I smiled at him,

"Really Jason," I said "He only yelled at me." Jason's grip loosened on my arm, and he stepped back,

"Fine, whatever," he said leaving for his room. I was watching TV when he came back down two hours later. He quickly told me he was going for a walk and left, not to long after that Walter walked through the door. He walked up to me on the couch and took my head in his hands, he smiled down at me and I felt weird, happy almost. This didn't make sense, once more I should run, fight, hit, scream, whatever, but I should not be happy that the man who had yelled, hit, and humiliated me is smiling at me.

"Come on cutie," he said grabbing my wrist and pulling me off the couch, "I got something special planned for you." He pulled me outside and into his car; we drove for a long time before we stopped outside a deserted park. He told me to get out and follow him, I did. I was beginning to wonder to myself if I was still fighting for survival by doing what he wanted, at first I was but now I wasn't so sure. Here I was in the middle of a park; I could run twice as fast as Walter. I could end this right now by running; all I have to do is run to the nearest house. So why wasn't I running yet? Why was I allowing myself to be pulled by this man I hardly know? Why? Do I really need to ask that? I already know, Walter explained it to me last night. Walter was sitting on the bench with his back against the table and stretched his arm in front of me (I was sitting facing forward) and began to rub his cock under his pants with his other hand. My breathing increased when I saw him fondling himself and I couldn't take my eyes away from him massaging himself through his pants. He smiled when he saw me watching him play with himself.

"Can I do it with you again," he asked quietly. I just sat there with my head down and didn't make a sound and he said again, "can we do it again? Come on, let's do it again, ok?" I didn't understand, why was he asking me? He didn't ask me last night. By now it was getting dark and no one was in sight and part of me wanted to obey him but something in me said no, this is wrong, you are a boy and he is a man and you shouldn't do this, but again, he said, "Come on, no one's here and I won't tell. Didn't we have fun last time? Come on, what's the harm?" He leaned forward taking his outstretched arm off of the table and put his hand on my bare thigh, moving it up and down touching my crotch. I didn't move and let him feel my leg and reach into my shorts and fondle my dick making it hard. I didn't remember having fun last night, I remember being in pain and being humiliated and….. what am I doing?

So slowly I swung my legs around to sit facing out as he was, my dick sticking up hard in my shorts and his arm now around me stroking my shoulder and caressing my slender neck.

"You're nice, so cute. Let's do it, ok? It'll be fun, like last time. Ok?" Walter smelled nice and he held me close to him and I just sort of nodded my head ever so slightly hating myself. He said, "Come on, behind the tree here," slowly he arose taking my arm and pulling me reluctantly with him. This was wrong and my heart was racing as my face was turning redder but he kept reminding me that I had done it before and though I didn't really want to do it now, he had me firmly by my arm pulling me up and behind the tree and I was slowly going with him whether I wanted to or not.

"Take your clothes off," he said.

"Do I have to?" I asked quietly

"Yeah, take off your clothes, its better that way."

"Please, do I have to?"

"Yeah, take 'em off" he said. "No one will see you but me. It's more fun that way. I want to see you without clothes on. You're so cute. Come on, take 'em off." So I pulled off my tee shirt and laid it on the nearby picnic table and slipped out of my shorts and put them on top of my tee shirt and stood there naked before him, both of us behind the large tree, my clothes now out of my reach.

He pulled me to him and ran his hands over my nude body touching my dick and fingering my asshole gently as he kissed my bare neck and shoulder running one hand up and down my bare back. My dick was jumping straight and hard as he tickled my balls and continued to finger my asshole at the same time. I knew this was wrong, but there was nothing I could do and he knew it. He pulled his finger out of my asshole and ran his hand over my slowly sprouting pubes and said,

"oh yeah, you're sweet, so sweet." Somehow this slightly excited me even more that being nude before Walter and having him run his hands all over my naked body was making him happy, and, I have to admit, it felt good.

He opened his pants and took out his cock and I could see in the dim light that the tip glistened. He took me by my thin shoulders and gently pushed me down to the ground on my knees in front of him facing his hard cock with the glistening drop of precum and said

"Kiss it." I leaned forward and kissed his cock getting the string of his precum on my lips. I licked it off of my lips and it was sweet and salty at the same time. "Suck it baby, suck it good, ok?"

Something wasn't right, why was he being nice. I wasn't being called a whore or being hit, I didn't understand. I didn't move so he put his hand behind my head and pulled me forward "Come on baby, suck it."

Reluctantly I leaned forward again and took the head of his cock in my mouth and began to suck it making slurping noises as I sucked on the large swollen head of his cock. Then he took my head in both his hands and began to fuck my mouth making me gag as his cock hit the back of my throat.

"Open up baby open up nice and easy relax" he kept moving his hips fucking my mouth with his bush of pubic hair brushing my nose. "Oh yeah, that's it."

I fought the urge to gag as he kept moving his cock in and out of my mouth.

"Look up at me, look at me, baby,"

I looked up at him and he told me to lick the shaft of his cock on the underside and lick his balls and I did it just like he told me to.

"Keep looking up at me, baby. Yeah, that's it sweetie." I licked his balls and tasted the salty sweat between his legs just like he wanted me to.

He pulled away and turned around and bent over a little opening his ass cheeks and told me to lick his asshole. His hands were spreading his cheeks and I could just make out his big hairy asshole in the fading light and I slowly moved my face between his cheeks and began to lick his asshole pushing my tongue into it as he groaned in pleasure. His asshole wasn't clean but the taste wasn't all that unpleasant to me and I continued to lick his ass knowing that I was licking it clean of his shit but I couldn't stop for fear of disappointing him. "

Oh yeah, baby, that's it." I grasped onto his legs for balance and kept licking and probing his asshole with my tongue as he ground his ass into my face until he said ok, and then I stopped as he turned around to face me as I was nude kneeling on the ground in front of him, my mouth wet from licking his asshole.

He raised me up to my feet and put my hand and his throbbing cock making me rub him while he kissed my mouth and he stuck his big tongue into my mouth while I rubbed his cock back and forth. I wondered why he would kiss me after I had tongued his dirty ass but then I should have wondered why I had stuck my tongue into his shitty asshole and licked him there in the first place. What was I thinking?

We kissed for a bit and I like him holding me and his tongue in my mouth kissing me and then he stopped and turned me around and pulled the table close to us under the tree and bent me face-first over the table and began to spit on his hand, wetting his cock and then wetting my asshole with his spit.

"Please don't do this to me again, please don't, I don't want you to do this to me again," I begged

"Too late baby, too late," he said as he pushed me face down on the table hard and moved the head of his big cock against my asshole and taking my bare narrow hips between his hands he pushed his cock against me. It missed the first time but then in one painful thrust pulling my hips towards him and thrusting forward his cock went up my ass and I gasped in pain as his cock filled my ass and he said "Oh, yeah, baby. still nice and tight.

He wasted no time in humping me pushing his hard thick cock in and out of my asshole as it quivered and conformed to his cock. My torso was spread across the table top and my feet were barely touching the ground as he thrust his cock deep into my quivering ass riding me hard as I was half sprawled on the table. He pounded me hard and I was being thrust into the table as he slapped my bare cheeks and fucked me harder and faster

"oh yeah, baby, oh yeah," he whispered until his voice got weaker and weaker and his began to pant and his cock shit his huge load of warm cum into me. His cock kept throbbing again and again and again as he emptied his huge load of cum into my still quivering asshole as I lay bent over the table. I could feel the warm cum spread up my ass, oddly happy that I had satisfied him while being totally humiliated that I had let Walter fuck me in my ass out here in the open park.

His cock finally stopped throbbing and began to soften as he regained his breath and then he removed it slowly from my wet ass and it made a little pop as is came out of me. He leaned down and kissed me on the back my neck.

"You can get up now." My ass was sore and quivering and as I shakily pushed myself erect, his large deposit of cum began to ooze out of me and run down between my bare thighs.

I turned around to face Walter and he was smirking at me, his cock back in, zipping his pants up and he grabbed my chin and said

"That was hot baby, that was really hot," and then he looked off this his left and said, "you want sloppy seconds?"

"What?" I gasped, to my shock and embarrassment another older man stepped out from behind the tree and said

"oh yeah, I got him next. that was hot." Apparently this other man had watched me nude bent and being fucked on this table top and had been waiting for his turn. I stood there in shock and shame as Walter walked away and the other man came forward smiling at me as I stood with my back leaning against the table barely able to stand there, nude to the world with cum still sliding down the inside of my shaky thighs. He didn't bother to even ask me if he could, he just assumed that I'd let him fuck me, too. Walter didn't even bother to look back at me as the 2nd man unbuckled his pants and exposed his hard cock in front of me. Over his shoulder as he was walking away the Walter delivered the final insult by saying "he's all yours. Nice and tight. Enjoy!" I watched Walter drive away barley noticing this man who had his hand on my dick. I was scared really scared,

"You heard him cocksucker," the man chuckled "All mine." I started to cry as I looked up at the man I didn't know, but who held my life in the palm of his hand. "Are you ready to get deep into hell? Forget about kindness, charity and tenderness - you won't find anything of the sort with me whore!" he yelled pulling my head back roughly by my hair. I looked up at the man no longer able to hide the fear on my face. I turned to run but the man grabbed my wrist pulling me to him roughly.

"Who are you? What do you want?" I asked only to be backhanded

"Don't speak unless you are spoken to first." The man yelled "Although I am going to answer then anyways." He grabbed me by the throat and shoved me up against the tree; I clawed at his hands in a desperate attempt for freedom. He just chuckled and grabbed tighter.

"Your new master is who I am, you need no other name then that whore!" he began pushing me up scratching my back on the tree until my toes could barley touch the ground. I started to see dots,

"As for what I want, its simple slut, Walter wanted to help you become the whore you were destined to be. You see the thing is Walter doesn't make whores for a living like I do, so now you are mine." My scratching became weaker as I began to seep into unconsciousness. He laughed at my weakness and dropped me on the ground. I grabbed my throat coughing and gasping for air, but this cruel man was not lying. He didn't let me breathe for long, because soon after the man shoved his cock down my throat and plugged my nose. He waited until my clawing at his legs stopped before he would let me breathe in some air. The he would just do it all over again. The man was true to his word, he took me and made me a whore. At first I fought, kicked, and screamed. I hated this man, he was cruel, not like Ryan. I missed Ryan, even Justin. The man beat me, raped me, tortured me, yelled at me, and … broke me. I don't think anymore, I just do. When he calls I come, then he says bend over, I do. At first I was difficult, he had to beat me every day and always had me chained down. Then I moved to a cage, then ropes, and now a collar that is only decoration. I don't really remember everything he did, there is only one that I remember vividly.

The man had pulled me back into the bedroom I knew to well, I hated it he had beat me there many times. He had also shoved his cock down my throat many times,

"On the bed whore," the man had said shoving me into the room, "I'm gonna teach you something new." I just sat there glaring at him; he walked up to me and shoved me back.

"Flip over slut, hands and knees now." I just continued to glare at him, if he was going to do this, he was going to have to kill me. He smirked at my disobedience; he grabbed me by the throat flipping me over.

"After this, there will be no more of your disobedience." He started fingering my ass and I tried to squirm away but he just gripped my throat tighter. I hadn't been allowed to wear clothes since I got there, so he had no problem with tearing them off.

"Raping your mouth hurt your feelings, raping your ass would hurt your feelings. But you'd recover. So, what I plan on doing is raping your mind." He whispered in my ear he gently fingered me, searching. He hit my prostate and I gasped "There it is," he chuckled; the man rubbed it, carefully. He watched my cock as he gently massaged the magic gland. When the man saw the first drop of precum leak from me, he pressed into the gland.

As I began to leak, the man said, "See, you faggot whore, your dripping, you like this don't you bitch?"

As his worked the fingers into me, he said, "You see how I made your dick leak? That is something you'll never forget. Now, I am gonna open you up some more, I'm gonna get you ready to get fucked. You are gonna hate getting fucked, and I'm gonna teach you more about your body then you ever wanted to know." His attack on my prostate caused me to moan and mew even though I didn't want to.

The man sighed, "You're ready for dicking now."

I could feel every vein, every bump of the thing that had been thrust inside my body. I was being violated; this man had taken the last thing that kept me sane and in control.

"Your ass is now a pussy to be fucked," the man laughed, I was so humiliated I could cry,

The man rose up, pulling his dick out, except for the very tip. He rotated his hips as he slowly reentered me. The man carefully fucked, and took great effort to use his cock to massage my prostate. The man intended for me to cum. Part of destroying me was making me respond to the fucking.

"Slut, you got a dick up your ass, you're a fag boy now. You've let a man stick his dick in you." The man whispered viciously, I cried silently as I was fucked, the man held my hips; I could feel his cock rubbing my prostate. "Okay, boy, it's time to learn to use your pussy, squeeze my dick with your pussy."

I closed and opened his sore sphincter, effectively milking the man's cock. The incredible tightness caused him to grunt. My body betrayed me, my cock had visibly lengthened. It had firmed from the constant pressure the man was applying inside. I felt my nuts tremble. I stared, desperately trying to keep this from happening. I couldn't cum, not from this.

The man continued to take me closer and closer to the edge. The man felt the first wad erupt from me. The man smiled and yelled, "Your cumming, the fucking faggot whore is cumming!" the first wad hit the bed, another followed, then another.

My ass pulsed crazily, as I came. The man began to send hot creamy man seed inside my ass. "I'm cumming in your ass!" The man grunted.

The man roughly shoved into me, my face hit the mattress as my arms gave out. My cum lay in a spread out pool on the bed. The man's cum coated my insides.

The man pulled out, slapping my ass cheeks. "Great job, that's the best boy pussy I've ever tapped. Now, let's see your pussy. Turn around, bend over and spread that money maker."

Not a single tear was on my face now. I turned around, as I bent over, I spread my ass cheeks. The air felt good as it touched my raw ass lips. The man laughed as he looked at the violated, puffy hole. A drop of his cum dripped out, as to prove more was inside.

The man got some good pictures, he made me look over my shoulder in one picture, and another was a close up of my ass hole. Another showed my spread cheeks, and the mans hands on them.

That was the day the man broke me, that was the day I never fought back again, and that was the day I realized what the man had said was true. I was destine to be a whore, and no one can love a whore.

I pressed my body hard against the stucco wall; face first, my arms outstretched, running my fingers up and down the rigid surface, working to convince myself that I'm still alive in this darkness that has gone on for two days? A week? A month? More?

I hear the first door of the cellar opening. My heart threatening to pound right out of my chest in terror and unwanted excitement. I scramble across the room, when the second door opens I am sitting on the bed. I'm facing him, hands folded in my lap, my back against the wall the way he has told me to wait for him.

The light spilling from the passageway doesn't hit my face but it is still light and it burns my eyes. I put my head down covering my eyes with the heels of both hands, ready for him to pull the cord to the overhead light, the light he used to disable each time he left me, the one he trust now I won't touch.

This time is different. He grabs my hands away from my eyes and pulls me off the bed.

"Come on," he says. "You're going out." He pulls a black silk bandanna out of his pocket, tying it tightly around my head.

He led me, roughly up the cellar stairs. I slip a little when I step into a puddle of mud, and he drags me a few steps. As I regain my footing I realize I'm outside for the first time since the day he took me. I stop, taking in lungfuls of the fresh, icy air, my ears perked to listen for any sounds, and life beyond the man.

My feet skip over sharp pebbles, and I cry out. He releases me for a second to slap my face.

"Sorry," I said, we finally reach flat stone, concrete by the feel of it. He pushed a door open and we enter another building. We walked over cool tile onto a bare wooden floor, and then he pushed me into another room, catching me as I nearly tripped over a throw rug. He steadied me, and then pulled off the blindfold.

The room was small, square and sparsely furnished. I realize it's was a living room; it had fireplace that looked unused and no pictures on the walls. Dusty looking floor length beige curtains shielded the room's one window. A tall lamp set on an end table provides the only light.

There was a Christmas tree in one corner, a few red and green ornaments hanging off it. Brightly wrapped packages were scattered underneath on the bare floor. I kept my mouth shut, not sure what the man wanted me to do. As he pointed towards the tree I became very aware of his muscular arm outstretched inches from my head.

"You like it?" his voice deceptively casual.

"The tree?" I ask, flinching in advance. But the man was in a good mood, and he simply laughed it off, cuffing me lightly on the back of the head.

"The tree the presents, all of it. It's Christmas, you jerk"

"Christmas?" I repeat stunned.

"You're staying with me tonight," he tells me. I barley hear him. Christmas, I have been with him for eight months.

"Sit down open your presents." I sat but I didn't touch the presents. He frowns at me, "Don't you want them?"

"Is this a test? I asked wearily, the man chuckled he straddled my thighs kissing me.

"Such a smart boy," he said gently stroking my cheek, "I'm glad you're cautious Jackie, but this isn't one of those times that you need to be." I frowned at him

"What did you call me?" I asked hesitantly, the man chuckled

"That is your name isn't it?" he replied I thought for a minute before realizing he was right, that was my name. I had forgotten, the man seemed to sense my discomfort and shifted sitting me between his legs, handing me my first present.

He spent the day with me, my first little bit of affection in eight months, maybe this man wasn't so bad. No, that's the 'bad' part of me talking. This is all wrong, its still wrong. The present consisted of small amounts of clothes mainly. The man fed me with out making me beg or do anything else. He slept with me, but not like before. That was rape, this was something else.

I knew I didn't love the man, but I did feel this part of me that cared for him. I couldn't explain it, I hated him so much. I hated what he had done to me and what he had turned me into, but to an extent I did care for him.

"I love you Jackie," he whispered in my ear, tightening his arms around my waist.

"I love you too sir," I whispered back the man nuzzled my neck

"Dave," he mumbled tiredly

"Dave," I repeated falling asleep in his arms

The man had always talked about selling me but when he would make me be with more than one man I would freak out. Then he would beat me and yell about me holding back my potential. I knew deep down he was happy, I still understood that no one could really love me but I do believe he found me desirable. I noticed the better I was in bed the more affection I got. He was still very strict but he gave me more affection then anyone else had in a year. I still hated Dave but in a way I cared for him, I needed him. I still wasn't treated like a person but after Christmas I hardly ever sat that cellar again.

As I lay curled up in a ball on the bed I rubbed my back, feeling the marks Ryan had left. They felt like giant worms, I remembered the day he beat me. It was the day I lost the last remaining person in my family. I started thinking, noticing how dead I had become. As I remembered my childhood I remembered how happy I had been. I didn't understand how such bad things could happen to such good people. I knew I was a whore and this was the life I was destine for, but why did all those nice people have to die? I knew it was my fault, I thought about it all the time. Especially time like these, when the man was away and left me in the bedroom.

I heard a loud crash and sat up. Five seconds ago I had heard the man's truck. I had been expecting the creak of the door and Dave's heavy footsteps as he walked towards the room. Not today, today there were bangs, crashes and mumbled voices. The voices became louder until I could hear them clearly.

"You gonna stop?" yelled a voice that didn't belong to Dave. I head Dave murmur a response. The voices became quiet again and I smelled gasoline. Dave was going to kill me. I started banging on the door crying and screaming. I heard more murmured voices, and then someone walked up to the door as I backed away. The voice from behind the door told me to back up; I was already hiding under the bed. The guy kicked down the door and I curled up in a ball sobbing to myself. The man dropped to the floor and looked at me

"Jesus," he said, he had a nice voice "Come on out of there kid." My eyes went wide and I shrunk back "no, don't," he whispered smiling at me "I don't want to hurt you." That only scared me more; I had heard that line a million times,

"I'm Bobby," he said holding out his hand and grabbing mine ignoring my weak protests. "And that clownover there is my brother, Angel" he gave my hand a squeeze still smiling. He looked uncomfortable but like he needed me to get out form under the bed desperately.

"Bobby we're in the middle of winging it and your making friends?"

"Is that your dad out there?" Bobby asked ignoring him, I shook my head "Foster dad?"I shook my head again and he frowned "Who is he to you then?" I whimpered slightly and whispered the word I swore never to say again. The word that lack there of said gained me many beatings

"My master," the man grew furious in an instant

"What's your name?"

"What ever you want it to be I guess," I said not looking at him. The man named 'Bobby' shifted until he was under the bed with me. He pulled me close to his body; I could feel his clothes pressed against my bare skin.

"No, what's your real name?" he asked softly, he had my head resting on his chest and I could hear the rumble of his voice from deep inside him.

"Jack," I whispered pulling closer to the man inhaling the sent of cigarette smoke, soap, and sweat.

"Ok Jack, how about we get you dressed and get you something to eat?" I stared up at the man.

"But master says whores are not allowed to wear clothes or leave the masters house." I said scared again

"Trust me, he wont mind." He said I shook my head at the man pulling away. This was a test, I knew it,

"Come on kid, I ain't gonna hurt you, so you ready to get out of here?"

"Is this a test?"

"What? No, no I'm here to help you sweetheart." He said smiling, "So will you come with me?" I nodded slowly, Bobby quickly got out from under the bed. He grabbed the blanket from the bed, and then motioned me to come out. I did slowly, as I stood up Bobby wrapped me in the blanket and proceeded to carry me out of the house. The stench of gasoline on our way out became too much for me so I buried my nose into his chest. As we reached the outdoors I smelled smoke but was too tire to look up. The cold air nipped at the bare skin not wrapped in the blanket. I started to shiver violently as Bobby sat me in the car. I curled my self up falling asleep as Bobby turned on the car and the heat.

Bobby must have drove for quite awhile because when we stopped in front of a small clothing store I was fully rested from my cat nap. As we were getting out of the car, Bobby tried to pick me up again but I protested.

"Come on Jack," he pleaded, "I don't want you to cut your feet on glass or something."After that I let him carry me in to the store, there he let me walk but help me very close. The store clerk looked at us oddly as we walked in, me in a simple blanket and Bobby holding me like he was expecting something horrible to happen at any minute.

Bobby and Angel picked up some clothes arguing about what size I was. When they finally decided they shoved me onto a dressing room and told me to show them how the clothes fit. Pair through pair all too big for me, finally Bobby got fed up. He walked over to the women's section grabbed the smallest pair of pants he could find then walked back to me tossing them to me.

"Try those," he said stepping back

"What size are those?" asked Angel

"I dunno I was the smallest I could find." Bobby replied, As soon as I got the pants on I showed them to the guys, after they decided they fit Bobby threw a tank top over me and wrapped me in his leather jacket.

"Come on let's grab a few more of these and get out of here." Angel ripped the tags off of my clothes and went to find more of them while Bobby pushed me over to the shoe department grabbing socks and boxers. When Angel found us again Bobby had just found a shoe that fit me. Bobby paid for all my clothes and threw them into the back of his car.

The drive the homey looking house was no where near as long as the last one. As we walked up the drive way Bobby held on to my waist to make sure I didn't slip.

Ma?" Bobby yelled as we entered the house, a friendly looking old women stepped out from a room I guessed was the kitchen since it smelled like cookies.

"Bobby, don't yell in my house," the lady scolded "If you're gonna say something to me you come and say it to me." Bobby turned an rolled his eyes at me,

"Yes ma," chuckled Bobby, "Anyways, this is Jack; I met him when me and Angel were up in Flint." The old lady smiled kindly at me,

"Nice to meet you Jack," she said embracing me, "I'm Evelyn Mercer." She nudged me towards the kitchen kicking Bobby out. "Hot coca?" she asked sitting me down, I shook my head no, she smiled as sat across from me.

"Now Jack, I'm a social worker and I was wondering if you know where your parents are." She said sweetly, I shrugged. I knew that my dad was dead but that was about it. "What about names do you know your parents names, your last name?" again I only shrugged, Jim and Terry Porter, "Siblings?" Dead and it's entirely my fault. I shrugged again, "Jack please talk to me, I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

Then don't help, I don't need it, you're only going to hurt me in the end. I stared at the lady; I knew I was supposed to say something but I can't. "Please Jack just a last name, you don't even have to say it just write it down here please." She handed me a sheet of paper, I stared at her pleading eyes for a few more seconds before writing down my last name. I pushed the paper back to her, she smiled gratefully at me before standing up and heading to the phone. During her phone call she kept looking at me with intense emotion. It ranged from rage to pity, sadness to empathy, and just about all the other crappy emotions. When she got off the phone she practically ran to me, embracing me in a tight hug. I began to feel her cry; I didn't understand why she was crying. I wanted to ask but it wasn't my place so like a good whore I kept my mouth shut. When she had finished her sobbing fest she looked up at me gently cupping my face.

"Jack," she whispered "What happened after you ran away from the Scott's?"

"I didn't run away," I said confused

"Kidnapped?" she asked I shook my head no "then what happened"

"I was handed over to Dave, he taught me to be the whore I was destine to be." I said, this time she shook her head

"Jack don't you ever say that," she whispered, tear threatening to spill over again. "You are not a whore, I understand that bad people have made you do bad things, but you are not a whore or a bad person." I frowned a tilted my head, as she turned from me sobbing again. Bobby entered the kitchen then and dashed to him mom holding her tightly as she sobbed. He gave me a questioning look and I just shrugged. Angel came and pulled me out of the kitchen so Bobby and his mom could talk. Angel and I just sat out side the door listening in,

"Oh Bobby, Jack he's the boy I told you about," Evelyn said, I heard the chairs scratching on the linoleum floors.

"Which boy?" asked Bobby,

"The one we believed ran away." She said sighing "He was beaten and raped by his god fathers, and lost all of his family."

"Oh that one," Bobby said sipping on some sort of drink. "So you're gonna take him in right?"

"What?" asked Evelyn in a surprised voice,

"Ma," said Bobby "Isn't that what you do? Take in fuck ups and make them better?"

"Watch your lauguage in my house Bobby," she scolded "And yes Bobby I guess you could say that's what I do, but Jacks different. For one he's nothing near you, Angel, or Jerry, and my whole system was based on having a big brother. Jack wont get one, not with you leaving and Angel getting into the military."

"That leaves you and Jerry," stated Bobby

"Jerry is working on creating his own family now, and I simply work to much."

"You cant just throw him back into the system Ma, how is he suppose to trust it after his last home gave him away to some pervert."

"Bobby I.. Wait I never said anything about Jack and his last home, you were eavesdropping weren't you!"

"Ma,"

"Bobby, how could you, your 22 years old!"

"Ma, I'm sorry but please don't just throw Jack back into the system," I could hear Evelyn chuckling,

"What's so funny ma?"

"You are Bobby," she replied still chucking, "Your already playing big brother, look I know you want to save him Bobby but you three were enough Jack's just too late."

"Please ma, just a week." Please Bobby, I heard Evelyn sigh

"A week, but if it doesn't work out we have to take him back." As me and Angel heard them standing up, Angel grabbing me and threw me on to the couch, smiling at me. I smiled back slightly and turned to look at the screen, it was hockey.

"Jack," said Bobby walking into the living room, " How would you like to stay with us for awhile?" I nodded to him and he smiled walking back into the kitchen.

"Hey Jack," I turned to look at Angel, "Since your gonna be staying here for awhile let me show you around, and to the shower." I frowned at him, "I don't know the last time you too a shower, but damn white boy you stink." Angel got up and I followed him, Bobby walked out of the kitchen right as we reached the stairs holding bedsheets.

"Where do you think you two are going?" he asked walking up to us,

"I'm gonna show him around," said Angel,

"How about instead you go and get Jack's new clothes out of the trunk of my car." Angel mumbled something under his breath, it sounded a lot like 'stupid bitch'

"What was that midnight?"

"I said I got a back itch," Angel replied walking out the door.

"Come one Jack let me show you to your room," Bobby showed me all over the house before making me stop and take a shower while he fixed up my bed. I undressed and stepped into the shower, I began to feel sick and dizzy. It always happened to me when I entered a shower ever since Dave had made me sit in a tub of ice and blood for an hour just to see what having sex with a cold bloody corpse would be like. I sank to my knees crying, I was free, finally free. I would never have to see the man again. So why didn't I feel better? Why did I still feel wrong? Why cant I be happy? Do I really need to ask that question? Its because I'm a wh-

The bathroom door opened,

"

Sorry Jack," Angel said walking in "There's only one bathroom in this house and we all have to share it." I finished scrubbing myself down, turned the water off and grabbed my towel shivering. Angel, who was now washing his hands, smiled at me

"I'm sure Bobby is done with your room now." Angel lead me back to the room I would be staying in. We walked in right as Bobby finished making up the bed.

"Hey I was just finishing," Bobby said, he pointed to the clothes, "there's your clothes. So whatever you want to do next, get dressed take a nap get some food, feel free." I simply walked over to the bed crawling in and falling in to a much needed slumber.

_He was on top of me, between my legs, pounding into me. I was moaning a writhing like a whore, and yet still crying. The man pulled out of me, I groaned in displeasure. The man crawled up and shoved his cock down my throat, I no longer gag. I'm used to it. The man pulled out again cumming all over my face. He smiles down at me before lying down next to me and feeding me his cum with his finger. _

"_Smile," he whispers to me, I look up at him and smile around his finger. _

"_Such a good boy," he says moving to suck on my neck, moving to mark me._

I woke up with a start, covered in sweat swallowing a scream, or a moan. I unable tell the difference any more. I looked at the alarm clock; its bright red digits read 2 am. Memories kept flooding my head threatening to pull me under, I'm wasn't sure whether to cry or scream. I jumped out of bed and ran silently down the stairs. I stood outside Bobby's door; I was contemplating whether or not to enter when I heard a noise behind me. I turned to see Bobby exiting the kitchen.

"Jack?" he asked walking towards me with a little more speed, "Is something wrong?" I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist sinking to the floor.

"I'm not a fag," I sobbed now hugging his leg

"Jack," Bobby said sitting next to me pulling me between his legs hugging me tightly. "Nobody ever said you were."

"Not a fag," I said, my fingers gripped the front of Bobby's T-shirt,

"I don't understand," he said petting my head; Of course you don't how could you? How could any one understand a-

"Faggot whore," I whispered

"What?" Bobby asked surprised

"I'm a fag and a whore," I cried burying my face into his chest,

"No," Bobby said rubbing my back, "No you're not." I couldn't take it anymore; I looked up at Bobby and kissed him. Bobby pulled away

"Jack," he said, but I pushed past his hands to get at his neck. I began sucking on his Adam's apple,

"Jack stop," Bobby said pushing against me again. I moved to his earlobe nibbling on it, receiving a slight moan. "Jack please, its wrong." That stopped me dead in my tracks. I knew it he thought I was disgusting, how could he not. I pulled away from him, got up, and ran. I ran out the door, I ran down the drive way, I ran down the street. I ran as far and fast as I could. When I couldn't run anymore I walked looking for a place to rest. I stumbled upon a construction site, it looked like a house. I picked a room away from the winter wind and curled up crying to my self. I must have fallen asleep because I was awoken to a flashlight in my eyes. I looked up at the police officer looming over me.

"Son you can't stay here, your trespassing." He said grabbing my arm. He pulled me up but I fell back to my knees in front of his groin

"May I?" I asked, the man frowned at me then shrugged,

"Go ahead," he replied, I had his cock out and in my mouth in a flash. The officer moaned and groaned really getting into the scene. He too soon pulled it out of my mouth.

"On all fours whore," he said and I complied. He pulled down my pants and began fucking me, pounding me hard. He had me flip over so he could see my face while fucking me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He shoved me up against a wall pounding my already abused hole harder. The officer came inside of me, he rested his head in the curve of my neck breathing hard with me. When both of our hearts slowed a bit, the officer helped me down from the wall; we both got dressed and stared at each other for awhile.

"Uh, well, I er you can stay here if you want to." He said flushing a bit before turning and walking away. I began walking back to Evelyn's house, well tried anyways. I ended up getting lost and crying in a dark alleyway. A man opened one of the doors and threw something away, he turned an looked at me when he heard me. The man walked over to me cautiously,

"Hey kid," he said kneeling in front of me "what's your name?"

"Jack," I sniffled

"Well Jack, I'm Jonny," he said "Why are you crying?"

"I'm lost, I ran away last night, and now I can't get back."

"Where are you trying to get back too?"

"Evelyn's house," I whispered, the man smiled at me

"Mercer?" I nodded, he chuckled "Well then I think I can get you home kiddo." I just stared at him

"How?" I asked suspiciously,

"I know Bobby Mercer," he said standing up and offering me his hand, "lets go call him alright?" I nodded taking his hand; he pulled me up and led me back into the bar. He wrapped me in a blanket as he called Bobby. When he got off the phone he walked over to me,

"Bobby said he'll be here in 20 minutes, so just hang tight alright?"I nodded and he walked away to finish cleaning up after a hard night. The clock on the wall said it was 8 in the morning, I silently prayed I hadn't woken Bobby up. My memories of wakening people up were not good.

"Jack," Bobby sighed relive thick in this voice, "Christ, where were you? You scared me."

"Did I wake you up?" I asked backing away from him, Bobby just grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

"Wake me? I couldn't sleep; I spent half the night looking for you. Everyone's worried come on lets go home."

"You – you're not mad at me?" I asked not moving, Bobby turned back to look at me

"Mad? About what?" He asked trying to pull me along with him.

"But I broke so many rules," I cried, Bobby stopped and turned to look at me.

"What rules Jack?" he asked quietly,

"I did something and you didn't give me permission, I ran away, I had sex with another man with out your permission, and I kept you from sleeping." Bobby frowned at me

"You had sex with a man?" I nodded, "When?"

"Last night,"

"Who was it?"

"I don't know he didn't tell me his name," I said staring at the ground

"How did you meet him?"

"I was sleeping in a construction site and he came to escort me out because I was trespassing."

"How old was he?"

"I don't know

"Guess."

"30 something." Bobby sighed and turned away,

"You want me to watch him for a little longer?" asked Jonny "You look like you need some air." Bobby nodded and headed for the door; I looked back at Jonny and started to cry. He walked around the bar to me and hugged me.

"He isn't mad at you Jack," Jonny said walking back to clean up. I just nodded and stared at the door. Bobby came back in about 10 minutes later reeking of cigarette smoke. He looked at me and nodded towards the door.

"Let's go," he said he turned away without another glace in my direction. I looked back at Jonny he smiled and motioned me to follow Bobby. Bobby helped me into his car, got in himself, and started driving. Bobby didn't talk on the drive home, he didn't talk when we got to his house, he didn't talk at dinner. Not even when Angel threw a dinner roll at his head, he didn't even flinch. Nobody talked to me, nobody talked to Bobby, in fact nobody really talked at all. As soon as dinner was finished I left for the room I was staying in. I sat on the bed with my knees pressed to my chest. I was in the midst of counting all the dots on the ceiling when Evelyn walked in. She sat down in front of my bed; we sat in silence for about five minutes before she spoke.

"Why?" she whispered

"What?" I asked

"Why did you kiss him?"

"I thought that was what he wanted; he took me from Dave to make me his, right?"

"Jack, you are not a whore." She said, "You're a person, and you're not an object. So please stop referring to yourself like you are."

"I am," Evelyn stood up and faced me,

"No your not, your just a boy who bad things have happened to. What happened last night was rape." I shook my head

"No, I-"Eveyln turned back away from me,

"I don't care what you did, he was wrong not you."

"I don't understand, why don't you punish me?" Evelyn turned to look at me slowly

"You didn't do anything wrong Jack," she said backing from me "I don't care what you did to me, I understand why you ran away, you didn't do anything wrong last night, and I don't care that I stayed up looking for you."

"No!" I screamed, pounding my fists into the mattress, "No! Tell the truth, you don't want to hit me because you can't stand to touch me, Am I that disgusting?" Evelyn's eyes went wide, she walked towards me grabbing me and pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Oh Jack, never," Evelyn said, her voice cracking, "I would never, your not disgusting." I pulled away from her.

"Then hit me," I said crying, "Punish me for being a bad boy." Evelyn shook her head, "Please?" Evelyn looked up at me,

"You're grounded," she said turning for the door,

"I'm what?" I asked

"Grounded," she said looking at me, "In this house bad boys are grounded."

"What's grounded?"

"It means you can't leave to go hang with friends, can't use the phone, or the TV. You stay in this room only coming out to pee, shower, and eat." With that Evelyn left, I stared after her confused. I jumped of the bed and opened the door following her, when we reached the bottom of the stairs Evelyn turned to face me,

"What are you doing?" she asked, I ducked my head

"I don't understand,"

"What's not to understand Jackie?" she questioned "You stay in that room unless there is a dying need for you to come out, now get up there." I stood where I was, "Jackie," I flinched at the name. "You don't like that name, do you?" I shook my head staring at the floor, "Then say something."

"I- I don't like t-that name." I whispered still looking at my feet.

"Look at me," I kept my head bowed, "Jack look at me when we are talking."

"Whores don't talk as equals, whores just obey."

"Well, it's a good thing your not a whore then isn't it," she said, he put a finger under my chin making me look at her. "Do you like yourself Jack?"

"I- what?" I asked confused

"What's your opinion of your self?"

"Whor.."

"Don't have opinions, right?" she said cutting me off, I nodded, "Your not a whore, now tell me."

"I don't have one," Evelyn frowned at me

"Go to your room," she said firmly, her voice full of authority, pushing me towards the stairs.

"But I," I said turning around, but Evelyn quickly quieted me

"You can come back out when you're ready to tell me your opinion of yourself." she swatted my leg, making me run up the stairs. When I got to the room I got under the bed, curling up to think.


	6. Chapter 6

I stayed under the bed for hours; when I got up to use the bathroom my alarm clock said it was 1:30 am. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to get out of the house. I snuck out the window and started looking, I didn't know what I was looking for but I was looking. I ran into a group of kids, there were about 20 and they weren't all kids. There was a girl resting against a hockey rink staring at me. I looked away, she had a bruise on her face as if she were just in a fight.

"Hey kid!" one of the people yelled I turned, it was one of the older people, "You look stressed, why don't you come hang with us?" I stared at the ground and shrugged

"Maybe he's straight edge?"

"What's wrong kid?" asked the man "You too good to get high?" I shook my head, "Well then come on."

"Let him be Jamal!" yelled the girl leaning on the hockey rink, 'Jamal' smiled at me then shoved me towards the dangerous looking girl.

"Hey, I'm Kris," She said pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, she took a puff blowing it in my face. "What's your name kid?" she handed me the cigarette,

"Im Jack," I said taking it from her, I took a puff and it burned my lungs and left me in a coughing fit.

"Your new to this part of town huh?" the girl chuckled, I nodded and handed it back

"So you gonna do some shit white boy?" another person ask, I looked at Kris and she shrugged smiling at me.

"Sure," I said quietly

"What you want boy?" asked Jamal

"Um I don't know,"

"You want some Aunt Mary?" he asked I looked at Kris and she giggled

"He means Marijuana, and trust me you don't want it."

"Why not?" I asked

"Cus' Marijuana aint good for you in the long run. It can cause anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and paranoia. And those problems don't improve over time homes." I nodded

"Alright Kris, does the kid want some Antifreeze?"

"Hell no he don't." she snarled

"What is it?" I asked

"Heroin, its some highly addictive shit, and run high risk of giving you diseases."

"Why?"

"Because heroin is injected with needles." I nodded showing I understood

"Well what about some Big C?" asked another guy, I looked at Kris

"Cocaine and you don't want any of that shit. Shit fucks up the way your brain works. The shit that create feelings of pleasure, so you need more and more of the shit just to fucking feel normal."

"Ha, maybe we should just give him some him some fucking jib. He sure as hell is cute enough."

"He's talking about GHB its used in date rapes, it's a sedative that can immobilize you. We don't actually have any he's just saying he wants to fuck you."

"Oh," I said stepping closer to Kris

"Well why don't you tell us why you out here."

"I'm just thinking to much, remembering everything."

"Oh then you want some of the forget me drug." Said a small squeaky mousey looking man,

"No you don't, the drug only allows you too forget what you did while you use it not the shit in your past." Kris cried

"I'll take it," I said stepping closer to the crowd, I heard Kris sigh behind me,

"Let me just give you the five way."

"What's that?"

"Heroin, cocaine, meth, and rohypnol in alcohol." Kris said behind me, I nodded.

"Alright then lets hit my place," Jamal said walking off, Kris started to follow but turned back to me when she saw I wasn't moving.

"Coming?"

"Why do we have to go to his place?"

"Cus that's where all his shit's at." She said looping her arm with mine and walking again, don't worry I wont let the big bad gangbangers hurt you." She laughed, we quickly caught up with the others. Jamal's 'crib' was actually a abandoned building, it was boarded up and everything. When we got down there Kris sat me on a mattress. Half of the thing was taken up with mattresses. Kris curled up next to me looking up at me,

"How did you get that bruise on your face?" I asked sliding down to lay in front of her, she smiled

"Hockey, this asshole didn't like the fact that he was about to get his ass kicked by a girl and smacked me in the face with his hockey stick."

"Oh, well what did you do?"

"I shoved my hockey skate up his ass,"

"Literally?" she nodded before laughing, "That's really kinda gross." She nodded while laughing, I started laughing too. Not because it was funny but she just seemed to have and air around her that made you wanna laugh when she laughed, maybe even cry when she cries. Jamal walked up to us and all laughter seized. He handed me a drink, smiled, and walked away. Kris and I both sat up, she straddled my lap and looked me straight in the eye.

"You don't have to drink that Jack," she said before getting up and walking away. I watched her walk away before staring and the cup in my hand. I didn't look at it as I drank it I barley even tasted it. I did feel it though, it was practically instant. I felt relaxed, a little confused, slightly edgy and spaced out. I laid back on the mattress just looking at the ceiling, letting the sensation wash over me. My vision blurred slightly, as my eyelids got heavy.

"Hey, you doin' ok?" asked Jamal, I looked over at him, and giggled

"Your all tipsy tourney," I said I grabbed his hand "Do you love me?"

"What are you talking about white boy?" he asked

"Will you love me if I suck your cock?" I asked propping myself up on my elbows.

"Damn boy, you gonna talk like that stay away from everyone. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and find you in a pool of your own blood cus you was fucked to death." I giggled as he got up and left.

"Hey white boy," said a tall buff black guy, "I'll love you if you come with me and suck my cock."

"Really?" I slurred

"Hell yeah, come with me." He helped me up and we entered a bathroom. He pushed me into a stall, he sat on the toilet and told me to get on my knees. I obeyed and sucked his cock, he was really rough, grabbing my hair and face fucking me. I knew when he stuck his finger in my ass that he wanted to fuck me. After he thought he had stretched me enough he had me straddle his lap, aligning his cock with my hole. Once he had me settled he stood up and pushed me against the stall wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. The man bit my shoulder and I moaned in to his neck. He started biting and sucking my neck leaving what I knew would be deep red or purple marks. As he shot his load he bit my shoulder again making me bleed. We stood there panting against each other, I could feel the warm blood trickling down my arm and the cum slowly leaking out of my ass. The guy had just put me back on my feet when someone else entered the bathroom. The other person demanded that we opened up the door. It ended up being Jamal who was really pissed at what he saw.

"Emanuel, if you know what's fucking good for you, you'll clean up and not ever say a fucking word about what happened tonight." The guy nodded before leaving the stall, "Damn boy that's one hell of a love bite. What the fuck were you thinking?" I just smiled at him, I wanted to lay on the floor and feel the drugs pump through my veins. Jamal wasn't having that, he helped me get dressed, and pulled me out of the bathroom. Every one saw us leaving the bathroom, the started yelling stuff but I couldn't hear it. I knew I was going under; the last thing I saw before blacking out was cement.

"Jack," whispered a soft voice, "Wakey wakey sleepy head." I groaned, I tried to flip over but a firm small hand held me still. "Don't move cutie pie." I opened one eye to look up at Kris putting something in a drink. She looked over at me and smiled, "Finally awake I see," she pulled a tray over me piled high with food, "All the necessary things after a rough night. Pancakes and syrup, fruit, fruit juice, and Aunt Emma's hangover cocktail."

"Aunt who's what?" I asked sitting up she smiled

"The guy who made your drink, mixed drinks so your gonna feel a little hung-over."

"What happened?" I asked rubbing my eyes,

"Eat first, talk later." She said sitting at the edge of my bed, I picked up the drink and smelled it.

"Ugh, gross!"I said putting it back down "What the hell is in that."

"You don't wanna know kid,"

"Yeah I do,"

"Alright then, you asked for it," she said putting her hair back "1 large can of tomato juice, 3 Tablespoons of vinegar, 1 lemon, 4 slices of onion, 3 Tablespoons of sugar, 4 stalks of celery, 2 teaspoons of Tabasco sauce, and salt and pepper for taste."

"You expect me to eat 4 slices of onion." I asked raising my eyebrow,

"No, you mix the ingredients in a container, let it sit overnight. Strain and serve baby"

"So you make a batch of this every night?"

"Hell yeah," she said taking a pancake, "I always end up using it, now eat." I did and when I had finished everything, including the disgusting drink, Kris took the tray away and sat down to give me a recap.

"So what do you remember?" she asked twirling some of her hair around her finger.

"I remember meeting you, going back to Jamal's, drinking that drink, and then waking up here. Where is here anyways?" I asked

"Well you got the gist of it, your just missing the hot sex, the huge fight and the drag back to my place."

"Wait what are you talking about," I asked scratching my head.

"Well after I specifically warned you not to drink the drink you did. Then you offered to suck Jamal's cock if he said he loved you. Then you did suck Emanuel's cock, and you let him fuck you. After that Jamal walked you out of the bathroom and everyone thought he had had his way with you. So then this huge fight started about everyone wanting a bit of your white boy ass. In the mist of fighting Jamal dropped you, leaving me to drag you delusional and mumbling 10 blocks to my house. Which is where you are now, in my bed to be exact."

"Wait did you just call me white boy?" I asked

"Uh yeah, your white aren't you?"

"Well yeah but so are you," I said confused

"Yeah but I'm a gangster which automatically makes me a nigga." I stared at her but shrugged. "So where to next pretty boy?"

"Do what?" I said in mid burp

"You gotta home don't cha?" I nodded "Well let's get goin then, so which way am I taken you?"

"I don't really know," I said, "I don't suppose you know where the Mercer's live do you?"

"I don't but I'm sure if we go out we will find someone who does." She got up and headed to the door, "Go ahead and wash up, you reek." She said before leaving. After I was showered and dressed again me and Kris ended up back at the hockey rink. We sat on the bench watching a guy play by himself. He looked really angry and like he was taking it out on the puck. It wasn't until a saw a black guy join him that is realized who it was.

"I think that's Bobby," I whispered to Kris, "But I'm scared to call him over, I just know he is gonna be mad." Kris stared at me for a second before turning away from me and yelling

"Yo Bob bay," she stood up and walked over to the side of the rink,

"Do I know you?" asked Bobby skating to meet her

"No, but you know my boy Jack over there." Bobby looked over at me, jumped over the side of the rink, ripped off his skates and ran over to me hugging me. When he was done hugging me he pulled me away from him.

"Jack you have to stop this please." Said Bobby, "Where were you this time?"

"You'll have to ask her, I don't really remember,"

"God I really don't like that answer," said Bobby turning to Kris; Bobby, Angel, and Kris talked for along time before Bobby turned back to me grabbed me by the arms and dragged me to the car. When we got home, Bobby followed me to the room I was staying in.

"Jack please," Bobby said sitting next to me on the bed, "why would you do that?"

"Do what?" I asked scooting closer to the wall,

"You know what, drugs, drinking, offering to blow people." Bobby replied "Its not right," I jumped into Bobby's lap throwing my arms around him.

"I'm sorry, please don't be mad." I cried into his neck,

"Jack, I'm still not mad, but the last thing I want is to wake up one morning and find out your dead. Let me help you," Bobby said rubbing my back; we sat there for a long time. Finally Bobby pushed me back to look at my tear stained face.

"I want you to come with me," he said

"Where?"

"Colorado, I got this job offer down there and was planning to leave soon. I think the Detroit streets are just to much for you. Colorado is safe, its easier to stay away from all the bad stuff. I already have a place to live, we can enroll you in school. It will be a lot better than me leaving you with ma, or putting you back in the system." I just stared at him, "Please Jack I think it would be really good for you. To get you away from the busy street." I nodded,

"O.k.," I said laying my head on his shoulder, "I'll go," I could feel the relieve spread through Bobby,

"Good," he replied, we spent hours talking about the entire thing, Bobby said we were gonna drive down. He told me about the job in construction his friend offered him. And all about the house his buddy was gonna rent out to him real cheap. He talked about the furniture this girl was gonna give him. Bobby talked until he fell asleep, which made me giggle. I snuggled up to him and fell asleep listening to his heart beat.

_didn't move I didn't make a sound, just like he wanted. So why am I here, tied down being whipped. I didn't do it; I was good he said I was good. I don't cry anymore I am too tired to cry, too tired to pull against my restraints. The man finally stops; He frees me from my restraints, carelessly tossing me aside. He leaves me all alone in the dark garage, tipping the water he had brought for me to drink all over the floor._

"_Drink up whore," he said closing the door, I crawled towards the water pressing my burning back to it. The cool water help a bit, enough to allow me to fall asleep._

I woke up with a start; I looked over at the alarm clock. It read 10:00am I looked over, but Bobby was gone. I started to get dressed and kept hearing this funny noise, almost like muffled snoring. When I was fully dressed I walked over to the other side of the bed. I busted out laughing waking up Bobby who had been asleep, on the floor, snoring in to the carpet. Bobby sat up and glared at me.

"Oh shut up," he said getting up throwing me over his shoulder and tossing me on the bed. I landed with an 'umph'. I got up following Bobby out of the room; he headed downstairs and into a noisy kitchen. Angel was in there, so was Evelyn, but I didn't know the other two. Bobby walked up to his mom and kissed her.

"Morning ma," he said grabbing some cereal,

"Morning Bobby, Morning Jack," said Evelyn not bothering to look up from her paper, "Sleep well?"

"Yeah," Said Bobby while I just nodded,

"You're kidding," Angel said looking over at me, "Jack is actually here for breakfast?" I blushed and Bobby and another guy slapped Angel, while a girl yelled at him in what I believed to be Spanish. The other man got up and walked over to me,

"Hey I'm Jerry," He said pulling me into a hug, "Hey ma," he said turning away from me, "if Bobby can't take you shopping I can take you after work." He said kissing her cheek and heading for the door.

"Alright Jeremiah you watch out for yourself got it?"

"Got it ma," Jerry said before closing the door behind him,

"So you're Jack?" Asked the girl at the table, her voice thick with a Mexican accent.

"That would be quite obvious Sophie," Said Bobby not bothering to look up from the cereal he was scarfing down.

"Shut up Bobby," She said walking over to me hugging me tightly, "Just ignore him, I'm Sophie," she said still squeezing me, Angel finished his breakfast and got up.

"You coming baby?" he asked heading towards the door, she let go and walked over to him

"Bye Jack!" she yelled as Angel pulled her out the door, I stood staring at the door

"Well don't just stand there Jack," Evelyn said standing up, "Go get something to eat dear," I nodded and heading to the box of cereal Bobby had used. Evelyn got up and headed for the door as well grabbing her purse and winter coat. "I'll be back after work boys," she said walking out the door as well. Bobby looked at me as I prepared my breakfast; I stood by the stove trying to ignore his stare.

"What?" I said finally,

"You're too skinny," he said eating some more cereal but chewing it slowly, I rolled my eyes

"Now who is being obvious," I scoffed before I could stop myself, I gasped at what I had just said, "I'm sorry," I was scared Bobby was going beat me or something, but he just laughed and went back to scarfing his cereal down. When I had finished my cereal, I turned to Bobby who was staring at me again.

"What now?" I asked looking at the ground blushing under his piercing stare,

"Come on lets go," he said getting up.

"Go where?" I asked following him

"You got skates?" I wanted to say something smart but I held my tongue not knowing how far I could push Bobby.

"No," I said he walked over to the coat closet grabbing two jackets and two pairs of skates. He handed me a jacket,

"Here wear this," he said shrugging on his own jacket and walking out side. I put the jacket he had handed me on and followed him out the door, closing it behind me. He drove back to the skating rink me and Kris had found him at yesterday. He helped me tie up my skates and gave me a few skating tips. After that he just threw me in to a game of one on one with him, which he won easily. He kept knocking me around to the point where I thought I really was getting a beating because my whole body was beginning to ache.

"Come on Jack just skate right at me and ram me up against the wall." Said Bobby waiting in a defensive pose, I skated at Bobby as hard and fast as I could but it did nothing really. I bounced off of him falling on the ice and Bobby moved back a centimeter.

"Jack, that was really pathetic, please tell me that was some kind of joke." Bobby said rubbing his temples. My frustration got the better of me,

"Shut up Bobby, you're like twice my fucking size," I said getting up and blushing from embarrassment, "You're like an idiot trying to finish a math test and I'm you're pencil, you could snap me in half." I said skating away from him, He grabbed me and spun me around, I was sure he was going to beat me this time,

"Chill out Cracker Jack," he said wrapping his arm around my shoulder, "I forgot O.K?" I nodded pressing my head to his chest. He made me play for another hour or so, finally when I was about to die from exhaustion and Bobby had his fill of hockey he let me stop. We changed back into out street shoes, we made it back to the house by 1 in the afternoon.

"Go sit in the living room and ill get some lunch for us," Bobby said heading to the kitchen, I walked into the living room and sprawled out on the floor, cursing my aching muscles. When Bobby walked into the living room he handed me a sandwich and a can of soda. He sat on the sofa and turned the TV on to some hockey game. I ate my sandwich and drank the soda, then crawled to sit between Bobby's leg with my back to the sofa. Bobby began stroking my hair in which felt very calming, making me fall asleep with my head resting against Bobby's calf.

When I woke up it was dark and I was on the sofa under a blanket. I heard voices coming from the kitchen, they got louder and louder until it was screaming coming from the kitchen. I started crying, even though the screaming wasn't aimed at me, it still scared me. I saw Bobby slam the kitchen door open and walk to his room slamming doors the whole way through. Evelyn came out a couple of minutes later and started pounding on Bobby's door.

"Bobby," she yelled "You come out here this instant; I do not like having my doors slammed or having people yell in my house. You come out here and apologize to Angel!" Bobby stormed out of his room grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. Sophie was in the kitchen still screeching in Spanish; Evelyn was trying to get back up again from having Bobby shove her down when storming out of his room, Angel was running after Bobby with a black eye and a bloody lip. I started to hear more yelling out side and sounds of flesh hitting flesh. Sophie ran out side still screeching, Evelyn hot on her heels. I couldn't take it anymore and ran up stairs to the room I was staying in and got under the bed.

I plugged my ears and tried to block it all out, but some how it continued to come through. I didn't feel safe like I normally did under the bed. I continued to cry; I curled myself up sobbing so loudly I didn't hear the yelling stop. There was a knock at my door, I didn't answer,

"Jack?" Bobby's rough voice traveled through the door, he opened the door. After a sweep of the room he got down on the floor and looked at me, "Did we scare you Jack?" he asked softly crawling under the bed to lay in front of me. I nodded trying to wipe away the tears, a useless attempt as the continued to flow. Bobby pulled me close to him,

"I'm sorry sweetheart." He whispered kissing my forehead. Bobby held me as I cried, never once complained about anything. He didn't complain about the dust, or that I was soaking his tee shirt, he didn't even complain when I fell asleep on his chest listening to his heartbeat. He just laid there with me rubbing my back and kissing my forehead, cheeks, top of my head, even my nose. He continued to wipe my tears not issuing a word about having to keep doing it.

When I woke up the next morning Bobby was still there, rubbing my back and staring at the underside of my bed. He still hadn't said a word, although he smiled at me when he saw I was awake. He looked really upset; I looked up at him looking him in the eye for the first time.

"What's wrong Bobby," I asked weakly, my throat dry and sore from all the sobbing I did the day before.

"Nothing," he said not looking at me anymore, I laid my head back on his chest,

"Please don't lie to me," I whispered, I felt Bobby's breath hitch,

"Angel's mad at me," he answered running his none existent nails along my back.

"Why?" I asked waiting for the rumble in Bobby's chest again.

"Because I'm taking you with me to Colorado and not him," he said "It's so stupid, he's acting like he's five fucking years old. He shouldn't even care, he's going into the military soon." Said Bobby gripping my shoulder,

"Then why not take him?" I asked wincing slightly as his vice like grip tightened.

"Because you need it more than him," he replied, "and I am not going to let his selfishness keep you from being safe."

"But he is you brother," I replied confused,

"And you think you aren't?" he asked, "Jack you may have only been here for a couple of days but I still love you like a brother." He said kissing my forehead, "Now what do you say to getting something to eat?"

"You gonna come with me?" asked Bobby not looking up from the sports section of the news paper,

"Where?" I asked stealing some coffee while Bobby wasn't looking

"Grocery store," he said glaring at me, letting me know he had seen my drinking the coffee, I flashed him a sheepish grin. He smiled rolled his eyes and went back to his newspaper.

"Sure, do you have a list?" bobby nodded holding up a piece of notebook paper. We finished breakfast grabbed coats and headed out. Bobby tried to hand me half of the paper, but it didn't work. I kept getting lost and wasn't finding anything on my half of the list. In the end Bobby took the list back and used my cart as extra room.

"Pick out some cereal." Said Bobby

"Excuse me?" I asked Bobby looked up at me

"Get some cereal," I just stared at him after he repeated himself, He just stared back at me.

"What do I get?" I asked worried, what if I got the wrong kind, would Bobby get mad and give me away. Was I supposed to know what he wanted?

"I don't care," Bobby said leaving me alone, I walked up and down the isle trying to pick which one Bobby liked best. I decided to go with what I saw him eating before, I walked looking for Bobby.

"Is this good?" I asked when I found him, he nodded

"Yeah but go grab some Apple Jacks," he said staring at the different soups, I returned to the breakfast isle and grabbed some Apple Jacks. I was about to return to Bobby when someone grabbed me, he spun me around fast and pressed me to him. I was starting to worry, I knew this mans scent.

"Oh Jackie," said the man, "I was simply so worried," I pushed myself away from the man and dropped the Apple Jacks in horror. I started hyperventilating as I stared up at Justin,

"Justin," I gasped, he smacked me,

"At least have the decency to call me Mr. Sone if not master." He growled

"Sorry," I said automatically

"Where is Ryan?"

"Dead."

"Oh Jackie," he said trying to pull me to him again, I pulled away and ran. I ran down isle and isle finally running into Bobby. Quite literally actually, I knocked him down.

"Jesus Jack," Bobby said getting up, "Do that on the ice and your bound to win." I didn't reply I just grabbed his ankle and started whimpering waiting for Justin to approach. He never did,

"Is something wrong Jack?" Bobby asked pulling me up and into an embrace. I shook my head, maybe I was going crazy, and maybe he really wasn't there. "Jack are you sure?"

"Yeah," I said blushing and pulling away. Bobby stared at me for a little while longer before turning away to look at the meats. I stayed close to Bobby for the rest of the trip, he looked at me oddly a couple of times, I just tried to ignore it. Once we got home and unpacked, I relaxed a little, Bobby seemed to notice.

"You wanna go lie down or something?" he asked putting some fruit in the bowl; I shook my head helping him unpack.

"No really," I said holding up the bread for him to grab, "I'm fine," I turned to look at him, only to find that he was there staring back at me. "What?" I asked smiling at him, he didn't say anything he just continued to stare at me.

"Did something happen in the store?" he asked turning back to the groceries,

"No," I said putting the milk in the fridge, he turned to me again and made me look at him

"Now tell me," he said

"No," I said looking at his mouth, anything but his eyes. I was a terrible liar, I knew that, but I didn't want Bobby to know I was going loopy.

"Jack don't lie to me," he said, I pulled away,

"Why not?" I asked angrily "Its not like you don't lie to me!"

"What are you talking about Jack?"

"You don't beat the crap out of your brother for being jealous!"

"I didn't beat the crap out of Angel," Bobby said walking away "None of your fucking business anyway." I stared after him, I had known he lied. Angel pushed his buttons and Bobby had shoved back, I just wanted to know where Bobby's buttons were.

I finished putting everything away then went up to my room and got under my bed. I fell asleep down there, but was woken up when someone joined me under the bed. I turned and curled up to Bobby, ready to listen to what he had to say.

"Why do you hide under here?" he asked not looking at me,

"I don't know really," I replied "It's just, when ever I was scared when I was little; this was the first place to go. It felt safe, hidden from the outside world, but eventually I grew out of it. I think when I was with Dave, all I ever wanted to do was hide, and the safest place I thought of was under the bed." Bobby chuckled a little, "What?"

"You are so weird Jack," he said pulling me closer, "I suppose in return you want to ask me something?" I nodded, "Ask away sweetheart," he said

"Why doesn't Evelyn want me?" I asked, I figured not to get to personal at first, I didn't want to accidently set Bobby off.

"Jack, Evelyn does," he whispered "Trust me, she really does, but you see her entire system worked on having an older brother. We are all leaving, even Angel soon, and ma just doesn't have the time. She has been working over time just to put food on the table for her. It has nothing to do with you Jack, nothing at all."

"Oh," I said I had never thought about it that way, I always thought the old lady had seen right through me to the sick fuck that's hiding on the inside.

"Do you miss your family?" he asked

"No not really," I admitted "I guess with everything that has happened with Dave it's hard for me too. I can't even remember there faces, to an extend I have a feeling of loss but not in that grieving way. More like I lost something important, but can't remember what it is." Bobby didn't say anything he just sighed,

"Your turn," he said after awhile,

"Why do you care so much about me?" I asked,

"I don't know Jack," he said finishing in a whisper, "I really don't, I just have this feeling like I should. You should go talk to ma." He said looking over at me "Please? I'll be right here when you get back," I nodded and headed downstairs, Evelyn was in the kitchen cooking. She looked up at me and smiled, I liked it when she smiled. It felt as though her smile could thaw even the coldest hearts, I couldn't help but smile back.

"You want to talk?" she asked I nodded, "Well do you mind helping while we talk?"

"Sure,"

"Can you chop up a salad for me?" she asked pointing to the counter where the veggies were next to a cutting board and knife. I walked over and started cutting up the veggies

"What's on your mind Jack?" she asked

"Do you not like me?" I asked quietly

"Of course I like you Jackie," she said I tried to hide my disgust of that name, but a shiver managed to slip through, "And trust me, if I could I would have brought you into my home in a heartbeat." She stop stirring at the stove, "Jack, I don't know if you know, but normally taking in lost causes is what I do."

"What do you mean lost causes?" I asked as I threw lettuce into the glass bowl, she grabbed my arm gently pulling me around to face her.

"People who are so far gone no one else will take them," she said looking right through me,

"Is that how the others were brought to you?" I asked looking at the ground,

"Jack look at me," she said firmly, I did "yes," she said making her way back to the stove, "Bobby was the worst, he went through social workers like you and I go through underwear." She chuckled "Took me ages to get that boy to open up to me. It was like someone had made him shut down his feelings so hard he could no longer get in touch with them. Bobby was the first I took in; he had no older brother and used to stick to me like glue. He eventually grew out of it, more or less when Jerry arrived. Jerry was a lost cause in his own way, hard to explain. Jerry opened right up to Bobby, as did Bobby to Jerry. I realized all Jerry needed was an older brother, and all Bobby needed was a younger brother."

"Why a younger brother?" I asked tossing carrots in with the lettuce,

"Well now," she said preparing the noodles, "I can't say for sure, but in my opinion Bobby need some sort of outlet, something that would draw out his feelings. So where Jerry needed someone to help him deal with his feelings, Bobby needed someone to help him find his feelings. Now Bobby didn't really get into an older brother mode until Angel. Jerry may have come first, but Angel out weighed him in how far gone he was. Angel was one bad case, always messing up almost like it was second nature. Angel didn't trust anyone, not me and defiantly not Bobby. Angel caused Bobby to become an actual big brother, always lecturing him and bringing him home at different hours of the night, trying to keep him in school." She chuckled again, "Made Angel angry in the way only a big brother could, but as you can see we eventually got to him. He trusts Bobby with his life. Funny how families are made, huh?"

"Yeah," I said finishing the salad, and turning to her,

"Jack," she said smiling at me "I think going with Bobby is a good idea, he will take good care of you." I smiled back at her and nodded "Jackie I-" She had caught my flinch, "Is something wrong?"

"No," I whispered "I just really don't like that name," she pulled me towards the table,

"What other names?" she asked sitting across from me,

"Just Jackie and baby," I said staring at the table, Evelyn took my hands

"Jack, look at me." She said I did, "The man that hurt you, he doesn't own words, and he doesn't own you."

"He stole my soul," I said looking away

"Jack, look at me," she repeated, and once again I did, "He doesn't own your soul, you still own you. Don't let him have this control over you life, your in control of you Jackie. No one else and always remember what happened was not your fault."

"But I'm a whore," I began

"No Jack!" Evelyn said assertively "No you're not, you're a good boy who had been through a terrible ordeal. You are not a whore, that man has not stolen your soul, and although I agree you will never be the person you were before I still believe you have the ability to change the path you're heading down." As she finished I started to cry, I wanted so badly to believe this nice lady. She made it sound as though it were true, like she had no doubts. I wanted to make her proud. Evelyn held me until my sobs became hiccups. She soothingly ran her hands up and down my back.

"Now why don't you go tell the boy's dinner is ready," she said smiling pushing me back, standing up, and turning back to the stove preparing plates of food. I walked up the stairs slowly, counting them as I went trying to soothe the whirlwind of thought rampaging through my head. I knocked on Angel's door,

"What?" grunted Angel,

"Evelyn says dinner is ready," I heard footsteps approaching the door; I felt the sudden urge to run but I didn't. Angel poked his head out; he looked around me then grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me in.

"I need help Jackie," Angel said turning away, I forced the flinch down. Well it was a start,

"With what?" I asked smoothing down my shirt,

"Sophie's birthday is coming up soon and I still don't know what to do," he turned to me, "Please Jack you look like a hopeless romantic, what should I do?" I stared at him like he had grown another head,

"How should I know?" I asked

"Come on," he said flopping down on his bed, "There has to have been some girl you like once that you did something really sweet and cute for."

"I don't remember," I whispered

"Try Jackie," Angel pleaded, If Evelyn was right then I never lost any memories. Their all still there just under the surface, I just need to dig for them. I closed my eyes and thought hard. The first thing to pop in my head was Lauren, the second was her face. It was followed with a whole memory,

_I practically ran down the stairs, and entire hour before school, my father was sitting in his chair. I cant see his face,_

"_Where's the fire Jackie?" asked the man_

"_Its Lauren's birthday," I said out of breathe "I wanted to do something special and I'm late for doing it." My father chuckled,_

"_Alright," he said "Go rock her world you heartthrob," I ran into the kitchen nearly knocking down my faceless brother,_

"_Watch it porcupine," he yelled after me, I grabbed my bag and was out the door in a flash. I got to school and broke into Lauren's locker, with help from Joey the janitor. I placed her present of birthstone earrings and a card in it closed it and decorated it with a sign saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY that I had gotten all her friends to sign. Next I ran to her homeroom, I had made a deal with the teacher yesterday to make sure it would be ok to leave balloons for her in the room. I left the balloons just in time to make it to the cafeteria for breakfast._

"_Happy Birthday Lauren," I said as soon as I spotted her, her face lit up_

"_You remembered," she giggled kissing me,_

I snapped back to reality,

"Earth to Jack!" Angel said waving his hand in front of my face,

"I do remember something," I said smiling, Angel's face lit up too.

"Really?" I nodded to him

"Do you have money?" Angel nodded, "A way to get to the store?"

"Ma can take us," he said

"Ok then ill tell you after dinner," I said standing up, Angel nodded and we both left the room. Angel headed down stairs while I headed back to Bobby, I crawled under the bed.

"So?" asked Bobby pulling me too him,

****

I twisted and turned until 1:00am I finally got out of bed giving up hopes of getting any sleep. Memories kept flooding my mind. Memories of Ryan, watching his brains splatter on the wall, my brother Josh, face down in a pool of his own blood, and Dave's face. I began to realize how the man, even in death, was ruling my life. I couldn't sleep, wake up, eat, or shower without thinking about him. Not in a loving way, not that I loved and cared about him. No but even in death the man had me body, mind, and soul. Nothing anyone said would ever be able to change that, not even Evelyn, but I would try to see her smile. I remembered a time when I believed Ryan wrong or mean. A monster, but I was wrong, the man had tried to show me what I was, and I just wasn't listening. Not until Dave came along, Dave made me, he took me, he broke me, and he built me.

I started pacing, back and forth. I knew it was wrong, if I woke someone up I would probably be in trouble. I stopped and sat on the floor, I knew the thoughts wouldn't stop until I was under the bed, but I wasn't ready to go under yet. I wanted to remember, I wanted to think back to happier times. I rested against the bed closed my eyes and started shifting through memories. It was harder than I thought; with Angel it had been fairly easy. I had known what I was looking for, now I was just looking and the thoughts that were popping up weren't what I wanted, but I kept at it. The one thought I was unable to shake off was the priest, One day Dave had come to me and told me I was going to a catholic school to pleasure a very important man, he told me not to screw up,

_Sitting outside his office I waited until he called me in. Handing him the note he opened it and read what Dave had written. Dave had told me to pretend like I was an 11 year old innocent trouble maker, and was told to go to Father Mathew's office. Father Matthew shook his head, "Jackie, this isn't your first time in my office. You need to take your studies more seriously, and I'm going to help you."___

_He continued, "First, you'll be punished severely for this, then we'll meet once a week after to monitor your efforts. Now come around the desk to me". I walked up next to him as he pulled a large wooden ruler from the desk drawer. "Jackie, pull your pants and underwear down and lay over my lap" he commanded. It was embarrassing because I didn't know this man,__but I had to follow his demands so I unbuttoned my uniform pants, zipped them down, and pulled them and my underwear to my knees. Next, I took a few steps and leaned over, bent at the waist, and over Father Matthew's lap. My ass was up for him to spank it. And he did, bringing that ruler down harshly on my small butt cheeks. The sting was painful.___

_After several slaps my butt was getting numb and oddly my dick was growing as if it was exciting me. It was and I couldn't control it.___

_Father Matthew noticed my erection because it was pressing into his leg. _

"_I think that's enough Jackie" he said then began rubbing gently my ass cheeks. "It seems that you're reacting that you liked that Jackie, did you?" _

"_No Father Matthew, that hurt." I replied in fear___

_"Then why did your penis get firm my son?" he asked. _

"_I don't know Father; it wasn't something I could control". His hand started slipping between my cheeks and he was grinding into my butt hole area. Occasionally I felt his fingers stroking my balls.___

_"Well Jackie, I think it is time to teach you about the male anatomy". Still bent over his lap he pulled my thighs apart and grabbed my semi-hard dick. "Jackie, this is your penis, when stimulated blood fills it and makes it stiff, ever have that happen?" With his hand around my dick it was getting harder and harder and I couldn't stop it. _

"_Yes Father, I must confess that I have pulled on it and would get a tingle after doing it for awhile, sometimes some sticky stuff comes out of it".___

_I had just confessed to masturbation, a sin according to what Dave had told me._

"_You need to repent for that sin Jackie, kneel down in front of me an say 3 hail Mary prayers" he directed me. I moved off his lap, pants still around my knees with my butt and dick exposed, kneeled in front of him, eyes closed and began to pretend I knew what that meant.___

_There I was, on my knees inches away from the Father's legs, head bowed, eyes closed, and as soon as I put my hands together I felt him grab them. He pulled them towards him, I thought he was comforting me but that wasn't his motive. The next feeling I had in my hands was a long, hard, stiff cock. Looking up I realized that Father Matthew had opened his robe and was nude underneath.___

_A slight gasp left my mouth but for whatever reason I didn't pull away. My dick was poking straight out now. "Jackie, move your hands up and down on me to show me what you do when you are alone" he said. His cock was so long it took one hand on top of the other and that only covered half of his dick.___

_Moving my hands jacking his cock soon some pre-cum came out, He got harder and harder and his cock head swelled and turned purple, I was worried I wasn't doing enough pretending. "Father, is this right or am I doing something wrong?"___

_"No Jackie, you are doing fine, this is what a leader must do to teach his flock."___

_I'm still massaging his large cock when he tells me more instructions. "Jackie, as you are moving your hands put your mouth around the head of my penis." Shaking a little bit from being nervous I move closer and as my hands pull him my mouth opens and gets on his swollen purple glistening cock head.___

_"Father that tastes salty, what is it?" I ask innocently after tasting that glistening goo on his penis head. _

"_That's love juice Jackie, it says that love is between us my son." He now instructs me to use my tongue to lick and swirl around his warm cock head. "That's right Jackie, jack my dick while licking and tasting my love juice."___

_After a few more minutes his hands grip my head as it was lapping at his dick. "Remove your hands Jackie, I'm wanting more" he says as I do what he commands. He pushes my head from the back down onto his hard huge cock forcing it deep into my mouth. I gag and can't breathe well, but I'm powerless because he's the school principal and I'm just a whore.___

_He then starts pulling in and out my mouth, with each push he gets deeper into my mouth cutting off my breathing. My mouth is watering constantly and my spit is dribbling down his nuts. What a sight, Father Matthew face fucking an unknown boy on his knees with his own hard prick.___

_This continues for many minutes before the Father leans over and grabs my dick. It was stiff before but now is rock hard. Father jacks me and teases my balls and asshole.___

_"Jackie, sit on the edge of my desk, my son."___

_Standing up, releasing my mouth from his huge cock, I put my bare ass on his desk right in front of him. Father Matthews pulls my pants down my legs and off my feet. All I'm wearing is the white shirt and tie of my uniform.___

_He then pulls my thighs apart and bends over me sucking my cock into his mouth. I've been rigid for a long time and plenty of pre-cum had soaked my dick's head. Father lapped at it like a starving man. "You are very much a special student, your training is going to be good" he says.___

_Again, like a starving man he sucks my cock furiously. The feeling of pleasure is growing every second. "Father, I think that gooey stuff is going to come out of me soon", warning him._

"_Jackie that's ok, I want that to happen, don't worry, you won't make a mess because I'll swallow all of it."___

_A few sucking strokes later it is too much to hold back. Father's spit had seeped down my ball sack and into my ass crack. As soon as I told him I was about to cum I felt one, then another, finger slip into my asshole. Father Matthew was sucking my cock, rubbing my ball sack, and finger fucking my ass. I was paralyzed with sensatory overload and was very happy, even though I knew I shouldn't be.___

_. "Father Matthew, I'm going to shoot some goo out of my dick", warning him again.___

_His sucking went tighter and faster engulfing my entire boy cock and coaxing my cum with his tongue and throat. My body went stiff with my balls drawn tight into my crotch. In waves of pleasure my cock unleashed several loads of cum as Father Matthew greedily gulped every pulse. As I started to cum he swallowed my cock to the base and his throat massaged and emptied my nuts completely. I was left a panting, spent, but still excited at his pleasure.___

_And I wanted more.___

_My dick was getting softer but still half hard in the Father's mouth. His fingers were also exploring my well lubed asshole by his saliva. Taking his mouth off my twitching cock he then inserted a third finger into my ass.___

_Looking up at him and down to his crotch showed and an open robe with a pulsating huge cock. "Jackie, you're going to experience something special today my son."___

_With that statement he reached down and grabbed me under each knee. As I was already sitting on the edge of his desk so it was nothing to pull my legs upward. He stepped forward and I could feel his huge dick pressing against the flesh of my butt.___

_"Accept it my son, relax and enjoy our union" was his words. At that moment I felt his engorged cock head pressing at my spit slick butt hole. My legs pushed back exposing my ass to him; I was scared but excited as well. The pressure at my asshole was growing, Father Matthew was going to penetrate me and I couldn't stop it. ___

_My hole opened enough that I could feel his cock head pop in me. It felt painful but good at the same time. He stayed there for awhile waiting for my asshole muscles to relax.___

_When he felt me loosing up to accept his exceptionally large cock he began pressing harder. Inch by inch his man cock slid into my tight butt. Soon he was buried deep, all the way to his balls, into my ass. I squirmed in pain, but that soon changed to uncomfort.___

_"You will get used to it my son, and I will help you to do that" he said as he saw the painful expression on my face. But it wasn't too bad now and would get easier to take in a few more strokes.___

_His pace got faster; he was now pounding my ass deep and hard, my body bouncing on the desk. Even with him banging my ass with hard, deep, forceful thrusts my cock was getting hard. Father Matthew saw that and was jacking my dick while fucking me brutally.___

_Father Matthew got a look on his face that looked strange. "Jackie my son, I'm going to put my seed in you" and his body stiffened.___

_With this huge fat cock ripping my asshole apart it grew larger and I felt it pulse.___

_I felt this massive man cock spasm and I clenched my ass muscles. Hot, thick, cum was filling my ass and I milked his cock with my butt. Wad after wad was flooding my bowels and I couldn't get enough. It seemed endless, Father Matthew was shaking and I was milking his cock of every drop I could get.___

_He was buried balls deep in my ass, my legs over his shoulders, his huge dick penetrating my inner regions. My ass was being violated and for the first time, I liked it. He laid his upper body on mine, panting and slowly pushing his now softer cock in and out of me. I wrapped my legs around his back pulling him into me to let him know it was ok, I enjoyed it.___

_When he pulled his dick out of my ass I could feel a large amount of cum drip out of my just hard fucked ass.___

_"Clean up Jackie and get back to class. I want to see you once a week to follow-up on your progress"._

I opened my eyes and crawled under the bed, I had changed my mind, and I didn't want to remember anymore. I started to cry thinking of what I had done, and hoping that no one could hear. Unfortunately, it seemed someone did since there was a knock on my door.

"Jack?" asked Bobby walking into my room, he crawled under the bed and held me close. "What's wrong?"

"I was trying to remember happier times, but all I got were bad ones," I sobbed; Bobby kissed the top of my head.

"Don't give up sweetheart," he said, "You have to push past them, come on, and try again." He started to make his way out from under the bed, "I'll be right next to you ok?" I stared at him for a while thinking it over, but I eventually nodded and joined him up against my bed again. I closed my eyes again and began to think,

The first think I remembered was Dave's welcoming speech,

"_You, my dear little cunt, are now a whore. In the not too distant future, you will be sold on an auction block, just as slaves have been sold for thousands of years. Someone, a man or possibly even a woman, will bid the winning price, and you will become that person's property. It is my job to make sure you know what being a whore means.___

_"It means that you are not a person any longer... you are a thing! If you're lucky, you'll be sold to someone who wants a pretty little sex toy for his own… or you may be a whore to entertain his friends or clients or you may become a prostitute. Whatever your master wants, you will do… for that is the nature of a whore.___

_"Some of these buyers want a whore to torture, because it excites them to torture a pretty little thing like you… and they'll do it whenever they feel like it, so here, I prepare you for that by teaching you how to endure, and even enjoy, the pain you'll feel. This is the beginning of that training for you."_

I felt Bobby grab my hand,

"Further Jack," he whispered, "You have to go back further," I struggled past it shifting from memory to memory, getting bits and pieces. Some words like bitch, cunt, and whore, some scene's from things I didn't want to remember but finally I broke through, I was breathing heavily like it was a brick wall I was taking down, but then the first one his me,

"_That's it Jackie!" my father cheered from the swimming pool, he grabbed my hand pulling me out of the water, "I knew you could beat it!"He showed me the stopwatch clearly stating that I had beaten my previous time in the 50 meter breaststroke. I hugged my dad feeling like I would explode if I felt any better. I looked up at my dad looking at his chocolate brown eyes, jet black hair, and his many laugh lines,_

"_That's my boy!" he said hugging me again, I looked up once more to soak up more of the praise, and look into my father's proud eye's. But when I looked up again it was Dave, he leaned down and kissed me._

"_I rather like you in a speedo baby," he said groping me,_

I gasped, and felt like crying, Bobby just held me close and tight,

"It's O.K" he whispered over and over again, I cried myself to sleep in Bobby's arms,

_A/N: Too graphic? Tell me what you think_


	7. Chapter 7

"It was perfect!" Angel practically yelled in my face, he was on his third hour of replaying his birthday surprise for Sophie. Bobby was lounging on the couch next to me reading a magazine with his feet in my lap.

"Ok Angel we get it," said Bobby clearly aggravated with Angel, "Now will you shut the fuck up?"

"I'm not even talking to you Bobby," he turned to me, "So, I was wondering if you would help me with Valentines Day." I looked up at Angel half wanting to glare at him and half wanting to kiss up to him. In the end I kissed up,

"Sure," I said looking down at Bobby's sock; Angel smiled at me before walking away.

"Gotta learn to say no Jackie," Bobby chuckled not looking at me past his magazine,

"I don't know what you're talking about?" I said staring at his feet,

"Sure you do," Bobby laid the magazine down on his chest; "You know why he didn't ask me?"

"Because when it comes to romance you have about as much charm as a fire breathing dragon?"

"Well that too," Bobby said kicking me, "But more importantly because I would have said no." I rolled my eyes at him and got up heading to the kitchen, "Grab me a beer!" he yelled after me, As I entered the kitchen Evelyn smiled up at me from the stove.

"Hey Jack," she said pointing to the eggs, I smiled and went over to them mixing up some scrambled eggs. It had become a regular thing for me and her. She cooked and I helped, it was our alone time when everything I needed and wanted to say got out with out me saying a single word. When I was finished I smiled at her grabbed a beer and went back to the living room. I handed the beer to Bobby, and then sat down.

"Are you all packed?" he asked popping open his beer, today me and Bobby were leaving for Colorado. I nodded looking up at the popcorn ceiling wondering how many bumps there where but not quite bored enough to try and find out. Truthfully I wasn't sure I wanted to go, Evelyn's house was the only place I had ever felt safe in my life. But I knew that it was basically all Bobby, the thought of him made me feel safe, I knew Evelyn's house wouldn't be the same with out him.

"Good," he said, "We're leaving after breakfast,"

Breakfast was a busy event; everyone was there which meant there was a lot of fighting and food throwing, mainly between Bobby and Sophie.

"I am happy you are leaving!" Sophie screamed her voice cracking,

"I am happy you are leaving!" Bobby mocked sound a lot like a 6 year old, "Who invited the psycho again?" Sophie screamed in rage before storming out of the house, Angel glared at Bobby, "Oh stop it, we both know I just guaranteed one hell of a night for you." Jerry choked on his food,

"Robert Mercer!" Evelyn scolded, Bobby turned to me,

"The full name," he whispered, "Never a good sign," I giggled, between Bobby's cool composure, Jerry choking, Angels face, and Evelyn's glare I was feeling very good. I felt like I was home.

"You call me if you need anything," said Jerry hugging me, "Anything at all ok?" I nodded getting in to the car. We had just spent the majority of an hour saying goodbyes, now we were leaving. As Bobby pulled away from the curve I looked back at everyone standing out in the cold waving. I stared out the window and watched everything fly by for about an hour before Bobby spoke up.

"If you want you can slip into the back seat and get some sleep," he said after watching me yawn for the 17th time. Bobby had had me up since 5 that morning for god knows what reason.

"No thank you," I replied, I went back to looking out the window. Bobby didn't say much during the trip only stopping for food and rest. When I woke up from one of our breaks Bobby was already driving.

"Hey sleeping beauty," bobby chuckled, "We are in Colorado, bout thirty something miles from the place we're staying at." I looked up at Colorado's grey cloudy skies and smiled, I liked nothing more than rain and thunderstorms. At about noon Bobby pulled up to some run down houses, they were town houses. Four in a row all painted blue, an old man with a slight resemblance to Santa clause was standing out side one of the houses. Bobby pulled around back into a parking lot, behind our house looked trashier. If there were to be a ghetto in Colorado Springs, I had found it.

"Welcome home Jack," Bobby whispered getting out of the car, I scrambled out after him. He walked right up to the old man and grabbed his hand in a firm handshake.

"Bobby Mercer," he said smiling

"Hey Paul," Bobby said retracting his hand, "This is jack," he pointed to me causing Paul's gaze to follow. I bowed my head instantly out of habit,

"How old are ya Jack?" he asked his voice thick with a southern accent,

"15," I whispered, not looking up,

"Why?" asked Bobby,

"No reason, just wonderin mostly," he grinned, "Let me show ya'll the place," He turned around and headed back to one of the blue house's "Now normally, a house that's all fully furnished would cost ya a heck of a lot more, but for you Bobby, I gotcha covered."

"Thanks a lot Paul," Bobby said gratefully,

"No problem, now..."Paul showed us around the house gesturing to different things. It was small; it had three stories, but was very narrow. It had one story underground, one midlevel, and one above. Upstairs had two bedrooms one bathroom and a skylight, the carpet was crap and was the wall coloring, but the furnishings looked brand new.

The midlevel had a sofa, a love seat, a recliner, a rather large TV, a tiny kitchen, and a dining table. The last level had a futon another bedroom, but it was tiny, a computer, a bookshelf, a filing cabinet, a washer and dryer, and a table.

"Wow," Bobby said walking through the house,

"Yeah I figured the kid would need some studyin room for school and of course room for friends to stay over."

"Thanks a lot Paul," Bobby repeated, Paul chuckled,

"Well I best be goin; ya'll call me if ya need anything alright?" After we said our goodbyes to Paul, Bobby and I started unpacking. When Bobby had finished he came into my room and helped me.

"Tomorrow we will run down to the high school here and get you registered." Bobby said putting away my suitcase; I nodded slightly worried about repeating the 8th grade. "Alright, lets go grab some grub," Bobby said heading down stairs, I followed watching him head to the door.

"Do we have to?" I asked, "I'm sick of fast food,"

"One more night Jack, then tomorrow we can go food shopping." I nodded hesitantly. Bobby took me to some burrito place. Their burritos were huge and their prices were low, Bobby's kind of place. Bobby ate all of his burrito and half of mine. After we ate Bobby took us home, plopped down on the couch, put a movie in, and started watching it. I sat down on the couch carful not wanting to bother Bobby, but he just grabbed me putting my head in his lap so he could stroke my shoulder length hair. I fell asleep there more content than I had ever felt before.

I awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon; I sat up noticing that Bobby was still asleep next to me. I walked slowly into the kitchen; Paul was standing in front of the stove. He turned and looked at me.

"Hey jack," he said, "You hungry?" I nodded, "Then sit down, boy" I did and he put a plate of food in front of me.

"Let me grab you a napkin," he grabbed my leg to reach the napkins fingers brushing against my groin. He handed me the napkin winking at me.

"Jack?" Bobby yelled from the living room,

"In here," Paul yelled back moving back to the stove, Bobby entered the kitchen warily.

"Paul? Asked Bobby clearly confused, "What are you doing here?"

"Making breakfast, I knew you didn't have any food," Paul replied lazily putting a plate of food in front of Bobby and a cup of coffee.

"oh-uh ok thanks," said Bobby staring at the food,

"Well I gotta go," said Paul grabbing some bacon from my plate, "See ya'll later,"

"Ok," said Bobby digging in, "So Jack finish and go get ready. We need to get you registered for school." I nodded heading back to my room. I took a shower before getting dressed, when I came out of the bathroom Bobby was already to go. We arrived at a rather average looking school; Bobby swaggered right through the front doors and into the office.

"Can I help you sir?" asked the lady at the desk,

"Yeah I need to get him registered," he said pointing to me

"Name?"

"Bobby Mercer," she handed him a visitors pass

"You're going to want to head down to consoling."

"Thanks," Bobby said pushing me towards the door, we entered consoling and were greeting be a nice lady.

"May I help you?" she asked

"Yes, I want to get my brother, Jack, registered,"

"Alright, I'm gonna need a few things from you sir, Jack why don't you head back with Mrs. Evergreen and get a schedule started?"

"This way dear," said an old lady gesturing for me to follow her. We walked into another office, we sat and she handed me a booklet. "Pick out the courses you would like to take, It looks like you didn't finish middle school but you left at the very end so we are just gonna start new." I nodded looking at the booklet, "So shift through and pick out what you like."

We sat in there for a full hour, my end results were,

A day

Yoga

Honors English 1

Algebra 1

4th lunch

German

B day

Health

American civics

Science

3rd lunch

Painting

Bobby signed a paper and I was told I would start the next day.

When we arrived home I laid on my bed reading Animal Farm. The lady told me that my class was about half way through the book.

"Knock knock," said Bobby entering my room, "Just letting you know I'm leaving, I'll be back later. I need to talk to my new boss; I asked Paul if he would take you to the grocery store and he said he would." Bobby handed me a wad of cash,

"I don't know if you cook, but I don't so feel free to get frozen foods," I nodded "Well Paul said he would be here in about an hour." Bobby nodded then left, I stared at the floor. I knew that look in Paul's eyes I had grown accustom to it, lust. I shrugged, what's the worst that could happen. I slipped on my shoes and waited outside for Paul. Paul pulled up and got out walking up to me,

"Hey Jackie," he said hugging me and squeezing my ass, "You ready to go?" I nodded and he pushed me towards the door smacking my ass, "Let's go then,"  
Paul had a big SUV, leather seats very nice. He kept his hand on my knee the entire time. As we walked the cart down the isles Paul walked behind me hands on my hips grinding against me. I stopped the cart turning around it his grasp, he smiled down at me.

"Will you teach me to cook?" I asked softly bowing my head. He lifted my chin and kissed me,

"What's in it for me?" he asked kissing my neck

"What do you want?" I asked innocently

"Oh, I think you know," he said grinding against me again,

"I think we can work something out," I said turning back around,

"Ok then I'll help you," Paul ended up doing most of the shopping. He picked out the ingredients he needed. When he was done we went to check out. When we were in the car again Paul spoke up.

"How about I'll come over after school you give me some of that tight ass of yours, and I'll help you cook. Deal?" I smiled over at him

"Deal, but it all has to be done before Bobby comes home."

"Alright," Paul said rubbing my leg. He drove me home helping me unpack all the food.

"I should go," Paul said grabbing me and kissing me hard against the wall. "Bye Jackie, I'll see you tomorrow." With that he left. I curled up on the couch falling asleep.

"Jack?" whispered Bobby his breathe reeking of alcohol, I turned to look at him. "Jack you should go to bed," I looked at the clock that read 3:27am I nodded getting up and going to bed.

I woke up the next morning 10 minutes before my alarm was to go off, I got up showered and grabbed some cereal. When the bus arrived I was all ready to go, as I got on the bus I handed the lady a slip the consoler gave me yesterday. The bus ride was long and quiet; I guessed everyone was still half asleep.

When we reached the school I looked at the map praying I wouldn't have to walk around all day with it in front of my face. I reached my first period class in no time, the teacher unfortunately made me stand up and introduce myself. A lot of people snickered, I tried to ignore them but I began to eat at me. The day crept by slowly, lots of people gave me funny looks it wasn't until lunch that people started saying things. That's when I met him; lunch was just about over when some guy walked up to me.

"Hey fag!" I didn't look at first not wanting to make a scene, but the guy walked over to me pulling my up by my shirt.

"I don't want any trouble," I said not looking at him,

"You think this is fucking Halloween?" he yelled in my face, "You think you're a pretty little girl?"

"What… no!" I said trying to get out of his grasp,

"What's with the chick look then homo?" he sneered,

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said pushing against him with the heels of my hands,

"Your hair sicko!" He grabbed my hair pulling it snapping my head back, I cried out.

"Leave him alone Chad!" yelled some kid I was unable to see, Chad laughed

"Here to save your little boyfriend?" he mocked

"Let him go Chad," said another voice a familiar voice,

"Fine whatever," he said tossing me to the ground, I heard a person run over to me.

"Are you ok?" asked a kid, I looked up at him, he was gorgeous. He had blue black hair cut choppy and razored, bang hanging over his left eye. He had light gray eyes and perfect pink lips. I nodded stupidly,

"Let's get you up then," he said helping me to my feet, "I'm Mitch by the way, my friends call me Mitchie."

"I'm Jack," I said blushing at the sudden closeness of the two of us,

"Are you ok?" he asked "You look a little flushed,"

"No I'm fine," I said looking away,

"Hey Jack," said the familiar voice, I turned to see Kris walking towards us.

"Kris did you get Chad?" asked Mitch

"Yeah, he won't bother you again," laughed Kris,

"What are you doing here?" I asked cautiously, secretly wondering if she was stalking me or trying to kill me.

"I live here," she said sitting down on the curb of the sidewalk, "I was just visiting Detroit,"

"Oh," I said sitting next to her,

"So how have you been?" she asked

"Um alright," I said

"What are you doing here?"

"Bobby insisted I move after the drug accident." I replied

"Oh, well look if you need help with anything I'll be around," with that she got up and left, as the bell rang I made my way to my next class. At the end of the day I reached the busses taking a seat trying to mind my own business which appears to be impossibility for me.

"Hey you're the new fag right?" asked this guy sitting next to me,

"I- uh no," I said looking out the window,

"You're lying," he replied, I turned to look at him,

"How would you know?" I asked viciously, he smiled

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," he whispered, I drew back from him

"Does it matter, everyone seems to know anyways," I tossed back, trying not to care,

"So have you like sucked dick?" he asked quietly, I looked away, "You have haven't you?"

"Why does it matter?" I said trying to push the horrible memories back down,

"Did you take it up the ass? You look like a bottom." I didn't answer, "Give me a head,"

"What?" I said turning around to him quickly,

"You heard me fag," he whispered viciously

"No way!" I said moving away from him he gripped me by my elbow,

"Do it!" he hissed "Or I will tell everyone you're a cock swallowing, ass bashing fag!"

"If you make him do it, ill cut off your dick and shove it up your own ass!" snarled someone behind us,

"I- uh no" he said meekly, "I wouldn't never Jeff!"

"Shut up and move shit head," the kid did exactly as the guy said, "I'm Jeff," he said sitting next to me,

"Jack,"

"I know, you're the new kid from Detroit who some how managed to get on Kris's good side."

"I-uh yeah" I said trying not to stare; he had such beautiful big blue eyes, and the preppy boy faux hawk with highlights. He smiled at me,

"This is my stop, I'll see you around," he said before leaving, I smiled to myself.

Paul was waiting for me when I got back,

"Hey cutie," he said as I walked through the door, he walked up to me putting his hands under my ass and lifting my up while kissing me. I wrapped my legs around his body and pulled back some.

"Dinner first," I said, he nodded putting me down,

"Fair enough," he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the kitchen, "I was thinking we could make some chicken parmesan tonight." I nodded while Paul rummaged around the kitchen. He pulled out chicken, a jar of marinara sauce, some penne noodles, some sort of breading and eggs. He put the pot on the stove filled with water and set it to boil. Then he let the frying pan heat up, coating it in quite a bit of oil.

"Alright Jack," he said pulling me next to him, "I'm going to slice these chicken breast in half so they aren't so thick. Then I'm going to hand them to you and I want you to dip the chicken in to the egg I mixed up over there, then stick it in the breading, and when its good and coated put it in the frying pan." I did as he asked and it went by fairly quickly. He cooked them till they were golden brown then put mozzarella cheese on them and stuck them in the oven on the lowest setting. He cooked the noodles and heated up the sauce. When we were done we washed up and he pulled me close looking at him

"I love you," he whispered.

"You don't even know me," I said quietly.

I swallowed, feeling my hands shake. I looked up, unsure, afraid, and saw Paul's bright green eyes staring back at me, waiting for me to say something, anything. His face was warm, and open, not threatening or demanding. I let my eyes crawl over it, thinking about the way Paul's eyes crinkled when he laughed, or the way his soft pink lips moved when he smiled.

"Say that again, Paul, please," I whispered, leaning a little closer, falling into his eyes.

"I love you," Paul whispered back, leaning forward as well. I felt torn; everything was fighting inside of me. "I love you."

Our lips finally touched, at last, brushing over each other, pressing against each other. I raised a hand to Paul's chest, feeling his heart hammering under his shirt. I, watched his eyes slide closed as his mouth slid open a little, he lifted a hand up to catch the band in my hair and pull it out, running his fingers through it as it fell around my shoulders. I closed my own eyes, and felt Paul's tongue, tentative, brush my own, darting in and out of my mouth so quickly that it almost seemed not to have been there at all. We pulled back, gasping for air, and I saw Paul's eyes blink open again.

"Love me, Paul," I breathed, my hands sliding up His back as he slid forward to kiss me again, deeper this time, his hand now laced through my hair and pulling my head toward him. "Love me."

Paul hooked an arm under my legs as I wrapped his arms around his neck, neither of us breaking our kiss, and I moaned into his mouth as he carried me into the bedroom. Dinner sat, forgotten. We twisted on the bed, not struggling, just trying with all of our being to touch, to feel each other. Our clothes lay scattered around the bed, and the sheets and bedspread were rumpled beneath us. Paul couldn't stop touching me, running his hands over me, feeling the smooth skin of my back, the flex of my arms. Our legs tangled together, our calves brushing each other, my hands sliding over Lance as well. One of them slid down, brushing past his chest, caressing his abs briefly, fascinated with the feel of them beneath his silken skin. I slid it lower, wrapping my fingers around his throbbing, hard cock, and heard him groan. Stroking him lightly, I squeezed tightly for a second, and then pushed Paul over onto his back, my head sliding down his chest, kissing a path down the center of him as his fingers tangled in my long hair.

I crawled back up Paul's body, guided by his moans and sighs, sliding easily over him. My hands danced all over his body, pinching, caressing, and he groaned and moaned loudly beneath me, his bass voice seeming loud enough to make the walls vibrate. He rained kisses down on my face and neck and shoulders as I settled above him, and then I rolled off of him, pulling him over on top of him. Paul ground himself against my back, as I began writhe and press back beneath him as he kissed and sucked at my shoulders and the sides of his neck, pushing my hair aside.

"Paul," I whimpered beneath him, feeling his hard chest against my back as his throbbing cock slid up and down my ass, pressing into my crack. "Make love to me. Please."

"Yes," he whispered, moaning again as I pressed myself against him. I moaned as well, feeling his need, his urgency.

"Hurry, Paul," I encouraged, as he climbed off of me, running toward the bathroom in search of anything that might serve as lubricant. When he returned to the bed, I groaned again as I felt his hands slide all over me, touching me, loving me, and he moaned in response. We were beyond words.

As Paul slid inside of me he whispered over and over that he loved me, and I just sighed in answer, feeling that slow, building pressure as he began to gently thrust into me. He ran his hands down my arms until he reached my hands, and then he laced our fingers together. I gripped him tightly, feeling us flex in unison, Paul pressing above and me straining beneath. He fought to slow himself down, trying to make it last, as I, beneath him, encouraged him to go faster and harder. I tossed my head back, flexing up from the mattress, and Paul latched onto the side of my neck, sucking and biting, both of us groaning and sighing. Paul's chest, his nipples hard, scraped over my writhing back, and both of us were slick with sweat. I bit my lip to keep from moaning too loud as the biggest orgasm of my life washed over me.

I felt it in my toes as it traveled up my legs and past my balls and dick and into my stomach. My heart slammed against my chest as I covered us in cum. He was still fucking me, and it was sending me into orbit. Wave after wave of white hot pleasure washed over me as he fucked me.


	8. Chapter 8

"This is good," Bobby stated as we ate together, "What was it called again?"

"Chicken parmesan," I replied, Bobby had gotten home 30 minutes after Paul and I showered dressed and he left.

"_That was amazing," I whispered into Paul's ear, he grinned at me and kissed me._

"_When is bobby getting home?" he asked_

"_I'm not sure, he never told me," I replied snuggling into Paul, he smiled and stroked my hair._

"_Do we have enough time for a shower?"_

"_Probably," I giggled, _

"_Then lets do it," Paul said _

"_Ok but no sexy stuff, Bobby's gotta be home soon." I said and he nodded. __I slipped out of Paul's arms and went into the bathroom. I grabbed my towel and turned the shower on to let the water heat up, and then I went back to the bedroom to get a pair of boxers. I left him sitting there and returned to the bathroom. I checked the water, and then stepped into the shower. The second the hot water hit me, I wanted to go back to sleep. I was so tired. I couldn't remember when I had ever been so tired before. _

_Paul got in a few minutes later. He didn't say anything. He just took the soap from me and started to wash my back. I loved the feeling of his hands running over my naked skin. My muscles were tight from our previous activities, and Paul worked the tightness out of them easily. He had such a great touch. I didn't want it to end._

_He turned me around and started to soap up my chest and stomach. I worried a little bit that this was going to go a bit too far, but I knew that I could stop it at any time. He washed my neck and arms before going to my legs. He skipped my crotch all together. I didn't know if that was his idea of no sexy stuff or if he was just waiting to do that last._

_When he'd finished with me feet, he went straight to my crotch. He handled my balls lightly, washing them thoroughly before soaping up my dick. My dick started to wake up under his hands, but I was determined not to get into anything sexual. I had to get him out of the house before Bobby got back._

_Paul surprised me by washing my hair for me. I hadn't had that done since I was a were kid. He was careful, as always, not to let the shampoo get in my eyes when he rinsed my head. He remained quiet, but he smiled at me when I looked at him._

_Then it was his turn. I tried to replicate the way he'd massaged the soap into my back on his, but I knew it wasn't working. He said nothing, but I never felt his muscles loosen up. I abandoned my attempt and moved on to his legs and ass._

_As he had done with me, I kept it away from sexual. It would be too easy to just launch into a sexual massage with him. He was just too tempting. However, I knew that there would plenty of time for that tomorrow. So, I finished washing him, and then we were both fighting for space in the bathroom to dry ourselves._

"But isn't this mozzarella?" Bobby asked bring me back to the table. I nodded, "Then why call it parmesan chicken? Why not call it mozzarella chicken?" I thought about it for a moment before smiling,

"I have no idea Bobby," I laughed, "but leave it to you to point out something that ridiculous."

"Shut up," he said smiling, that was really all the conversation we had, Bobby looked really tired. He ate showered and headed to bed. I stayed up and washed the dishes putting away leftovers for another day. Afterwards I sat down and turned on the TV, I watched an old horror movie in black and white before I found myself dozing off. Soon I picked myself up and went to bed. As I fell asleep the nightmares started I found myself remembering the day I met Dave's brother Steve.

_Dave's brother had come to visit him a few weeks after Christmas, I was completely ignored the entire day, except for some simple thing like getting someone water. I began to feel jealous for some sick reason I was upset that Dave wasn't paying attention. I believed if I walked out of the door Dave wouldn't even notice. I decided to go to bed early since no one was watching._

_I was laying in bed almost asleep when I heard someone come into the room. I quickly looked up and I saw a figure coming towards my bed. _

_"Who's there." I whispered and a voice replied "It's Steve." While assumeing he just came into the wrong room looking for the bathroom,_

_"Is there anything I can get you?" I politely asked _

_"No." he replied_

_Next he sat down on my bed. I turned the lights on _

_"What exactly to you want?" He doesn't answer he just turned the lights off and squished me up into my mattress and _

_"If you make a noise you'll be seriously injured." He whispered viciously, taken over with fear I simply lay there. _

_He continued to crush me. We were both in our boxers only. His corse chest hair brushed up against me as he kissed me. I resisted, but he forced his tongue into my mouth. _

_I felt his dick growing as it pressed against my leg. He kissed my neck, then my nipples and chest. _

_"You're going to take off my boxers." He whispered_

_I had no choice so I went down and removed his boxers. His hard dick slapped his stomach when his boxers are removed. His dick was about six inches, but was very fat. His dark pubic hair was very dense. He grabbed the back of my head and forced me onto his dick. I choked, but he keept forcing me. I started to draw some sick pleasure out of it and my dick started to twinge and stared to grow hard. He started to pump his hips into my mouth faster and faster. Then all of the sudden he stopped. He told me to roll over and I did._

_He removed my boxers and stuck his tongue in my asshole. It felt so good. My dick got even harder. Then put his hands on either side of my head and started kissing my neck. _

_"Please stop!" I cried It's was too late though. I felt the pressure on my asshole as he stuck the head in. _

_"Lift your ass up to the top of my dick." It took me what seemed like almost a minute but I eventually felt his pubic hair and balls hit my ass. My dick was now completely hard and pre cum was leaking out. _

_Then he started pumping my ass. The pain started to give way to pleasure so I grabbed the back of his ass and helped him fuck me. He started going really fast and then came in my ass with at least 5 or 6 streams. Then went back down to my asshole and sucked out all of his cum, but he didn't swallow it. He turned me over and kissed me again making me swallow all of his cum. While we kissed I stroked my dick and came all over his stomach. We both put our boxers back on, and as he left the room he whispered "I'll be back for a visit in another week, be ready."_

I woke up with a start as my alarm went off; I quickly got up and jumped in the shower ready to rid myself of my nightmare. I scrubbed my entire body down before getting out and dressed. I grabbed some breakfast and then my backpack and headed out for school thinking about how little I see bobby now and days.

The fatigue had taken a hold of me due to my nightmare, and it wouldn't be ignored. I fell asleep almost as soon as I sat down. I must have been passed out for about half the bus ride, and was silently hoping that I could make it through the rest of the day without snoozing in class and getting embarrassed by one of my teachers. But when my mind became somewhat conscious again, I noticed something different. I remember waking up and feeling my head leaning against the cold steel around the bus window, rather uncomfortably, I might add. But I also felt something leaning against me from the other side of the seat. I looked over sleepily, and almost jumped when I saw him 'Mitchie'...sitting right next to me. He had fallen asleep too, evidently, and was laying his adorable head on my shoulder, his warm breath heating a small spot on my arm while I tried to keep from gasping out loud. I just sat there, feeling his head's gentle weight on my shoulder, listening to him breathe steadily, feeling that warmth on my arm.

Even though I did my best to fight it, my erection jumped straight up and refused to be ignored. I tried my best to think of something else, but it only tightened and stiffened and throbbed even worse. I mean this was the most adorable boy I had ever met. My heart started beating hard enough to make my entire body shake, and I was afraid that the trembling of my chest would be enough to wake him up. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to think. So I did the only thing I could do. I laid my head back against the window and closed my eyes. Not to sleep, but to just feel the moment. To truly appreciate what was happening and probably wouldn't ever happen again in my lifetime. My mind ran wild, and all I could think about was the feel of Mitchie's body so very close to mine. I began to imagine what it would be like, me and Mitchie in my bed at home, with him laying next to me and cuddling up in my warm embrace. I sighed to myself, enjoying the feeling of him sleeping peacefully at my side. Then, all too soon....it was over. The bus hit a nice sized pothole in the street and the jolt of the impact caused him to jump up with a jerk. He lifted his head and I couldn't help but notice how 'disengaged' I felt all of the sudden.

He looked around for a second or two, then back at me. He must have realized what had happened, and said worriedly, "Aw dude...I'm sorry. Oh man, I'm so sorry... look... I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay, It was just a pothole." I replied, surprised that I could put the words together at all. He looked me directly in the eye, they were gorgeous absolutely spellbinding. It caused me to lose the rest of my sense instantly and a huge lump got caught up in the back of my throat.

"No... I mean about falling asleep on your shoulder like that. I was so tired; I think I must have dozed off." He said. I listened to the sexy rasp in his teenage voice it tingled my ears slightly when he spoke. Every word was a song, and I had a hard time believing that this boy was even talking to me. Even if only by mistake. Looking more closely at him, I became more baffled as to how to react to him. His face was without a single spot, scar, or blemish. He was so perfect that it seriously hurt to look at him, and it was the most pleasant form of confusion than anything I've ever felt before.

"It's alright, Mitchie. Really. I was asleep too. I guess..."

We were both silent for a second and despite my infatuation, I had to look away from him to stop from staring hard enough to give anything away. To be so close to him made me _so_ nervous. He smelled like the cleanest boy on Earth. As though he had rose petals floating on top of his bath water. His hair was faintly scented with some strawberry type of shampoo, and the heavenly sweet aroma had fixed themselves to his soft thin sweater. He turned to look in the other direction, his silence just as much of a work of art as his conversation, and I took a few sneak peeks at his thighs. I stared at the softened, tender meat as his jean stretched over them. Every part of him thrilled me. How could he not know that? How could he not see it in my eyes?

I couldn't keep from watching him out of the corner of my eye, it was impossible. We weren't even connected through touch anymore, and yet I cold still feel him somehow. My mind was racing, my heartbeat was racing, my breaths were heavy and tiring, my palms were becoming clammy and wet. But it was one of those gifted scenarios that you know fate had set up for you....just to see what you'd do. The question, 'what if', kept cycling through my thoughts over and over again, and as terrified as I was...I knew I had to say something. "I...I think you drooled on my shirt." _WHAT??? no, Jack, no!!! wrong thing to say! Totally the wrong thing to say!_

"Oh man, I'm sorry. God, that's gross." He said.

"No...I mean its ok." I don't think he was buying it. "I mean it's an old shirt." Ok so maybe fate just wanted to laugh at me a little bit today.

"So old that you'd don't mind have a big wet spot of some strange kid's drool on it?"

"Sure...it's like...decoration." was the best I could come up with on short notice.

And then...it happened. He looked at me, a bit confused at first, and then I saw the most adorable smile spread across his lips. It was the most beautiful thing ever invented. And he grinned a bit at my offbeat comment, relieving a little bit of that tension that was threatening to choke me to death if I didn't escape it soon. And that was the beginning of a 'small talk' kind of conversation. A little info here, a few smiles there, basic stuff, you know? It made things a little more comfortable now that I was actually engaged in some sort of activity with him.

It was kind of cool to know a bit more about the boy behind this piece of eye candy, this boy named 'Mitchie'. He was a bit shy at first, and he was so incredibly cute about trying to hide it, but after a couple of exchanges he was obviously happy to have somebody to talk to. Go figure all that quiet time on the bus, and all he needed was for someone to talk to him. We got off of the bus once we got to school, and took a second to speak before going our separate ways. "So...Jack, right?" He asked.

"Yeah...that's me." My chest felt hollow inside, jittery and uneasy just from hearing my name come out of those slightly parted lips of his.

"Maybe I'll see ya around?"

"Yeah....maybe. I mean...I hope so." Argh! Just shut up, Jack!

"Cool. Well take it easy. Nice to see you again, man." He said, and I watched as Mitchie walked off to the other end of the hall and disappeared around a corner.

We didn't see each other again for the rest of the morning, not until lunch. I was planning to eat by myself while trying to mentally avoid everyone else in the room, but Mitchie just happened to cross my path that morning. It turned out we have the same lunch period, but he usually ate outside in the courtyard. So he invited me to come join him, and I snapped up to my feet with a heartfelt acceptance. Then we actually ate lunch together! We talked, we laughed, and our 'small talk' went a bit further beyond what we skittered through on the bus. I hung on his every word, and still had time to appreciate the little details that made him so magnetic for me. The way the wind would blow a few wisps of hair up into his eyes, and the way he'd lightly flick his head to the side to have them all fall back into place. The way his mouth would move, his lips, over his teeth, hiding his tongue. His soft hand gestures that accentuated every syllable with a movement all its own.

As we sat in that courtyard, almost alone except for the small group of kids in an opposite corner, I felt like I was actually making progress. How weird is that. He felt like an actual friend all of the sudden, and it became easier to tune into one another as we connected. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't accept it. I just sat their gazing into his eyes most of the time, and feeling that shiver go through the pit of my stomach when I didn't look away fast enough. It was almost like a playful little game for me, seeing how long I could stare before my body reacted to him involuntarily. I even loved the cute way he ate his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, from the outside in so he wouldn't get any crumbs on his flawless face.

"Dude I think you should do it! If the coaches are asking you to join a team, why not?" I asked in the middle of our first 'legit' conversation.

"What? Join Soccer or Lacrosse?"

"Whatever. Do both if you want."

"Nah..." He said. "Really, I'm not into sports all that much. I don't know...I think the whole athletic mentality is kinda wasted on me. You know?"

He was just too cute for words. "I guess I can see your point. It's kinda wasted on me too. But I try to fake it from time to time." I said.

"Oh really now? Well one of these days you'll have to show me how to do that without totally embarrassing myself." He giggled.

"Maybe I will." I smiled When a group of our 'classmates' entered the courtyard, our 'Eden' was invaded. They were the kind of annoying kids that need to make noise and bang around in order to make their presence felt. Something Tanner could do just by being in the same room with you. It was more than a disruption in my mind, it was more like a violation. And they made sure to acknowledge that a lesser life form was in the area. In case you weren't taking notes...that life form is me.

When they came over, mischievous grins already appearing on their faces, Mitchies whole tone changed. I could tell, and we both got quiet. But it's never that easy to escape a 'situation' in high school. They didn't bother with too much of the pleasantries before coming out to ask me if I was a fag. Probably knowing the answer to that already. I tried desperately to deny it but the wouldn't let it go. They reacted exactly the way I expected them to. Some frowned, some turned up their noses, and others pretended to hold back from snickering in my face. I didn't expect any better from them, it was a predictable result as far as they were concerned. But to have them do this to me in front of Mitchie really hurt me. Everything was going so well, and these pricks decided that they were going to come over here and make a clown out of me in front of the most adorable boy in school. Yeah it hurt. So, without saying much more than a quietly mumbled 'goodbye' to Mitchie, I just packed up what was left of my lunch and walked away. At least he wasn't laughing at me too, but he didn't make much of an effort to stop me from leaving either. Whatever. I'm an idiot for getting wrapped up in some stupid fantasy anyway. That was it. That was the end of my 'date', and seemingly my LIFE from the way it felt inside. I was so humiliated, my stomach tied itself into a tight knot at the pointless, hateful, nature of the whole situation. Why? Why did they do it? They're _never_ going to fucking leave me alone. And now that Mitchie knows...he's probably going to avoid me like the plague from now on. Friend or no friend...nobody wants to be associated with the kid everyone makes fun of. Nobody.

My face stayed frowned up for the rest of the school day. It was like being numb from the world outside, and yet still feeling a stabbing pain inside. I'm never going to be able to talk to him again. Not ever. It's ruined. How am I supposed to be able to face him now? He's gonna think I'm some kind of joke. There's nothing worse than wanting to be just like the people you hate more than anything...just so you can 'compete'. It's the worst!

I reluctantly took the first bus home as I usually do, afraid that my fears would be reinforced, that he'd completely snub me and I'd know for a fact that it was over. All over...in the course of a single day. I saw him get on the bus shortly after I sat down, and I turned my head to look out of the window in shame. If I met his eyes, those gorgeous eyes, and saw disgust reflected in their mirror like image, I'd die. I'd keel over, right there, right then, and die But...Mitchie surprisingly sat next to me again. He plopped down as though nothing had happened, and smiled. "What's up?"

"Hey..." I said quietly, still trying to hide the unfortunate details of my bank account from him. Even though the other kids all teased me at school, this was the first time I was actually ashamed of my sexual position. Because I didn't need to be anybody special for the rest of those jerks. I needed to be special for Mitchie. It just seemed like our worlds were so far apart, untouchable, invisible from where we were standing. It sucked.

Mitchie leaned over to butt shoulders with me playfully, "You ok? You look like you had a rotten afternoon." He grinned.

"Um...yeah...I guess you could say that." I was still scared to look him in the eye. My mind was trying to figure out if this was all supposed to be a big part of the joke. This school hasn't really been nice to me so far, and I was kinda expecting the other shoe to drop.

That's when Mitchie gently shook my shoulder to get my attention. "Hey," I finally gave a quick glance in his direction to let him know I was listening. "I hope you weren't those assholes at lunch get you down. They've got nothing better to do than pick on other people. It's the only thing that makes them feel important, you know? Without that they're nothing."

"Yeah..." I mumbled.

"I mean it, k? Don't sweat it. They're not as 'well off' as they pretend to be, anyway. You just worry about being you, and they'll get bored and leave you alone soon enough. It's no biggie." I gave him a strange look and the big goofy smirk on his face actually made me smile. Hehehe, there we go. A genuine smile, and it didn't cost me a cent.

We talked for another couple of minutes, and it seemed as though the tension I felt before had evaporated into thin air. We slipped right back into being in sync with one another easily, and I was getting to the point where I could look at him for a bit longer without losing control of my heartbeat. Well as long as I didn't stare too hard. During the conversation, he said he was kinda pissed about last night. "Last night?" I asked. "What happened?"

"I was trying to stay awake and watch this late night special, right? But I conked out somewhere in the middle and my VCR didn't record anything but static. I think I set it wrong or something." He said, that cute little flick of his head sending his hair back into place out of his eyes.

"Ouch. Bummer, man. What was it?"

"I'd never seen it before, but it was playing this, like, uncensored version last night, and I figured that's the best time to see it. I'd heard good things about it, you know I think it was called The Boondock Saints"

" Seriously that was on last night?" I said, excited.

"yeah, you've seen it?"

Of course I've seen it! I love that movie. Dude, I can't believe you've never seen it before."

"Jack, dude, you have to tell me what happens at the end!"

"I will not! You have to rent it from the video store and watch it! I'm not gonna let you slide by with some 'Boondock saints Cliff Notes'." I laughed.

"Awwww, you suck!" He giggled along with me, but it was getting close to his stop to get off the bus. "Listen, I'll tell you what, maybe I can rent it and you can come over and watch it with me or something?" He said.

The words 'instant erection' have never been more true than at that very moment. "Um....yeah....ok...." I said, attempting to hide the trembling of my voice. My whole body went hot and cold at the same time. Was I even breathing? I couldn't tell.

"Sweet! You gotta notebook or something?" He asked, reaching into his pocket for a pen.

"Yeah...right here." I gave him my notebook, and I nervously tried to contain my infatuated grin from bursting out of control.

"Ok..." He said as we got to his stop. The bus stopped and he hurriedly and gave me his phone number, scribbled out neatly at the top of the page under his name. 'Mitchie' even his handwriting was cute! I got his phone number. _His phone number!!!_

"You make sure you call me later, k? If not tonight, then tomorrow." He said as he got off the bus. Then he happily walked away towards home. I watched him for as long as I could before the bus took me around a corner and he was gone. My heart was lifted so high that I never thought I'd catch my breath again! How could this boy, this wonderful boy, become the end all be all love of my life in a single day? I had never felt so good!

I ran home once I got off the bus myself, and fell back on the couch hard, breathless at the idea of what had just happened today. I know, I know...don't get your hopes up, Jack. It's likely that this is as good as it will ever get. But I can dream can't I? I reached down to adjust myself, feeling my pants beginning to tent out in the front. I could still hear his voice, still smell his shampoo, still bathe in the beauty of his smile. I rubbed the hardness in front of me, pushing my hips up slightly, feeling those tingles all over my body and I reached down to undo my belt...

"Oh kiddo, I didn't see you come in." Came a voice from behind the couch, Bobby's voice

"whoah! Uh..HI!" I said, startled and leaning forward quick before he got a hint of what I was about to engage in. "What are you doing home?"

"I switched shifts with Tony tonight. So I'm working a late one. I sure am glad he was nice enough to offer, because it would have been hell trying to work late last night and then take an early shift this morning."

He looked a bit tired, but I was sure he had gotten himself some sleep while I was away at school. I hated to see him work so hard. He almost never had any fun at all. "Yeah, I'm a bit tired too, I guess."

"Uh-huh" he said with a grimace. "I'm tired because I worked last night. You're tired because you had a nightmare last night."

"Who me?"

"I'm nobody's fool, kiddo. Next time you have one let me know..." he leaned over to kiss me on the top of my head, "don't leave me in the dark ok?" he gave me a playful, I swear, he knows everything. "Oh, and I was thinking we could play some street hokey kiddo."

"Ok. " I sat there for a second or two and silently reattached my belt, waiting for 'Mr. Happy' to go down. And then I went to my room to change into some sweats and all to hit the street and play with Bobby and some other kids who are apparently like bobby, never gentle when it comes to hockey.

The hockey game that day was a fright fest. In our game, things were a bit different. It was every man for himself, and fights and hard elbows in the face were not only 'legal maneuvers', they were an expected 'strategy' in order to get the ball. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the fact that we were only down by four points, who knows? But I happened to take one of those elbows right in my ribs and was knocked to the ground. The guy that did it was huge, and I knew that it was on purpose and I knew that it was part of the game. But for some reason my adrenaline caused me to pick a fight with this guy. This monster that was almost twice my size...and before I knew what hit me, he made sure that he spent the rest of the afternoon kicking my ass! Good thinking, Jack. Next time we can throw a rock at Mike Tyson! Needless to say, that guy and his boys didn't get away with it, not with Bobby there. The game was over, and my Bobby ended up helping me back home Apologizing the entire time. Soon after he had to leave for work. I didn't think I looked too bad. Nothing that wouldn't heal in a few days and stop aching after a week. So I guess I'm ok. As Mitchie would say, 'no biggie'.

The next morning. I got on the bus looking a little haggard and bruised, trying to hide a bit of it through a flawless act of 'normalcy'. But when Mitchie got on the bus, his smile faded pretty quickly. "Dude... what the hell happened to you?"

"Big fight on the street yesterday. Just some bullshit, I should've known better. But hey, I'm sure that my face made his fists really sore! So I guess I showed him, right?"

Mitchie kind of laughed meekly at my attempts at bringing humor to such a weird situation. But I could tell that he was genuinely concerned. It was like he had never seen anybody get beat up before. It was that day, I think, that I realized that Mitchie truly cared about me. It was beyond being polite or trying to be nice to the kid that gets picked on. He cared. And that made me dive even deeper into this rush of emotions that he was bringing so effortlessly to the surface. There was no doubt about it...I was falling in love.


	9. Chapter 9

We became inseparable over the next two or three weeks, bonding more and more with every realization of how much we had in common. Paul completely forgotten, Bobby had changed shifts and I was never home. Paul must not have been bothered because he never asked. It was crazy how amazing this all was. And I finally got to see his house too. It was humongous! His bedroom _alone_ was practically bigger than my whole house! And he had this full basement with a pool table, and a giant fish tank in the wall, and a professional dart board, and an actual arcade game in it! An old stand up console of Pac man. It was like a Barbie dream house but for guys. We finally got to sit down and watch the rest of Boondock Saints', and once he finished it all the way through, we had to watch it over and over, again and again, until we almost knew it word for word. And if we ever disagreed on anything for more than a few seconds, one of us would shout "fuck!" and the other would shout "ass!!!" and we'd break down into a fit of laughter until we forgot what we were talking about. He was great! Everything about Mitchie was perfect, and the more I got to know him, the more I wanted him. But not with the same feverish frenzy of lust and passion that I had in the beginning. No, this was different. It was changing. I just got to a point where I wanted him beside me at all times. Not neccessarily rolling around or anything. Just there. Him and me, against the world. The thought of it created a side of me that I didn't even know was there. But I liked it and I needed him to make it real.

Naturally, the kids teased me twice as bad at school while my scrapes and bruises healed, making even more jokes about me. Believe me when I say that some days I was a comment or two short of showing them exactly what it's like to get beat up like this! But knowing them they probably had a gang of lawyers on standby for just such a situation. Pussies! So yeah, the other kids did their worst to try to break me. But Mitchie just made me feel so good about myself when I was with him that it just didn't matter anymore. Mitchie even 'defended' me most of the time, telling them to let it go. Or sometimes he'd just put a hand on my shoulder and say, "C'mon, let's get out of here." and walk me away from all that nonsense. It made me want to stick out my tongue and give them the finger at the same time. It was incredible, and for a good little while, I hadn't even thought of him sexually at all. Not that the attraction wasn't still there. Because in my opinion, he was still, undoubtedly, the hottest boy for miles around. And nobody could touch him, not even if they tried.

Our friendship continued to grow, beyond anything I ever would have thought possible in the beginning. Certainly not while I was gazing at him and wishing I had the balls to speak to him. But what surprised me most, was his acceptance of everything that I did. I mean, a few hugs here and there, or a compliment...that I tried to keep as _'masculine'_ as humanly possible, of course...he never thought it was weird. He never flinched, never backed away. In fact, once I start giving him little hugs and touches, he began to get even more addicted to the feeling than I was. We were reaching a point where we would look at each other and just smile for no reason at all. He was enjoyable, and funny, and sexy, and cool, and just...an incredibly beautiful person. But as much of a nut as I was when he was around me, I never came right out and told him how I felt. For the idea to even cross my mind was terrifying. Instead I fell in love with the idea of him and me...even more than the real thing. Because, let's be honest, the real thing doesn't exist. I'm lucky, but I'm not that lucky!

However, just when I thought that things couldn't get any better, that Mitchie and I had reached that level of 'closeness' where we couldn't get any closer without being involved. There's a certain line of heterosexuality that you just can't cross. Occasionally, you can step on it. You can even DANCE on it if you live overseas somewhere. But you can't cross it. But one afternoon...I got the feeling that Tanner was thinking of pushing that limitation. He surprised me by coming over to my house after school, and he had carried over a big box for me on the bus. I thought it was weird that he was visiting me out of the blue at the time, even more so that he was lugging this 'thing' with him, but I was really happy to see him anyway. "What's this for?" I asked.

"It's a present. For you." He said, straining to set it down in the driveway. He looked relieved to put it down, and it made me swoon to see him look up at me, breathing a bit heavy, the slight moisture on his forehead causing a few wisps of hair to stick to it. He looked so delicious right then.

"Hehehe, why? It's not my birthday." I said, confused.

"Since when did it have to be your birthday for you to get a present?"

"Well it's not Christmas either." I grinned.

"Look I just dragged this huge piece of junk over here on a BUS! So you're either gonna take it, or I'm gonna beat you to death with it." He smiled between huffs and puffs, and I got the message. I walked over and he leaned the flat box against me.

"What is it?"

"Just open it. It's a gift from me to you for being a friend." Mitchie said. I don't know why it hit me so swiftly, or what made it so powerful, but the tone of his voice, the look in his eye, and everything that I had been thinking since day one, struck me like a bolt of lightning. Suddenly weeks and weeks worth of love and sexual thoughts rushed into my head all at once, and reduced me to that scared chicken that used to sit behind him on the bus all over again. I stumbled a little bit, a nervous jumble of emotions making me weak in the knees, and opened the box. I looked inside and almost teared up. I couldn't believe it, and I was kinda choked up as to what to say.

My silence got Mitchie to speak, "It's a guitar" he said, looking at the emotion on my face. I just remember how you used to play in middle school and you said you missed it and I thought you might want it."

I couldn't take my eyes off of it. This was..._expensive_. I had never gotten a gift like this before, I was frozen. "Mitchie...you didn't....you didn't have to buy me this." I said softly.

"I know. That's the cool part! Out of all the friends I've ever had, you're the only one who doesn't want or expect anything from me other than my company. It's kind of neat to feel wanted for a change." If only he knew how wanted he was. Still unable to talk, really, I think Mitchie started to get uncomfortable. "You know, if you don't like it I mean, if it's too much or something, I can take it back. I can get you something else if you want." He was so adorable.

I walked over to him, still trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in my eyes, and hugged him lovingly around his neck. "I love it Mitchie. Oh my God. I love it."

"Oh...ok. Well..good." He mumbled, and I just held my arms around his neck. I knew that I was probably breaking a whole shitload of 'man rules' out here in the open...and getting ready to cry on top of it, but my arms just wouldn't let go.

"No one has ever done something this nice for me Mitchie. Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Uh....k..." Was all Mitchie said. His voice was shaking now, and I don't think he expected me to be quite so grateful. I felt him tremble slightly in my arms, and I could tell that he was getting really fidgety now. I should probably let him go. I wanted to let him go. But my arms refused. They only held on tighter. I inhaled the sweet scent of his chest, and I could feel his heart beating next to mine. I loved that sensation. It made me pull him even closer to me, and I held on.

Neither one of us said a word, but I could clearly hear him breathing over my shoulder, as I'm sure he could hear mine. I just...held him there. And soon...I felt him raise his arms rise up softly over my back...to hold me too.

Our hug lasted an eternity and I felt this soft, gentle panic race through me as I felt his hands running up and down my back incredibly slow. His fingers had a feather's touch and he was definitely quaking inside. His chest quivered so sweetly against mine and I was suddenly overwhelmed with an attraction that almost made me take him right there in my front yard. I was afraid to let go, because if I looked at him, if I saw those eyes, those lips...I'd kiss him. There's no _'maybe'_ involved here. I would kiss him. It's almost worth throwing everything for that kiss. Oh man, what have I done? I've come full circle right back to square one. I'm a lovesick puppy again.

I heard Mitchie take a deep breath, and his hands started creeping down back, lower, and lower...ever so softly. Then they sank to my waist, exciting me almost to the point of orgasm. I hugged him closer than before, but was hoping he wouldn't feel the bulge in the front of my pants. And then, his hands timidly traveled lower, trembling madly as it began to cup the gentle rise on the top of my cheeks.

My body reacted all on its own, and I couldn't help but jump. I inhaled quickly and he suddenly jumped back in horror. His eyes were wide and he had a bulge in his pants that he covered up with his hands as he turned away from me. He got extremely flustered, his face a deep shade of red. He started apologizing like he had cut off one of my fingers or something. He was mortified, almost in tears. It took him a few moments to even calm down enough to stutter out the words, "I'm sorry Jack... I... I should go. I've gotta go now."

"No...No don't go. Mitchie, wait..."

"I have to go."

"Why?"

"I just do, ok? I hope you like the gift." He said, using his hair, his hands, his frantic pacing back and forth, to hide his face from me entirely. He just wanted to get out of there as fast as he could.

"I told you, I love the gift..."

"STOP saying that!" He shouted all of the sudden. And we looked at one another in silence, both a bit confused as to what was happening here between us. And how it came to a boiling point so unbelievably fast. "I....I just..." He started, but couldn't find the words.

"Don't leave, ok? Look....why don't you just come on in for a while, we'll talk for a while or something."

"Jack..."

"Just for a little while? C'mon...please?" I begged, and he pouted for a quick second as he turned to walk in through my front door.

We grabbed a soda or two and went into my bedroom. It was claustrophobic in comparison to his and the paint was worn and faded, but Mitchie didn't seem to mind at all. Or even notice for that matter. We laid back on the bed the short way, our legs hanging over the side and tried to find some way to get back to being normal again. But it wasn't going to be all that easy this time around. We started off with that same kind of meaningless 'small talk' that we had indulged in that first day on the bus. A little talking about this and a little talking about that, it was all pleasant, sure. But what I really wanted him to talk about was the scene outside. There wasn't really a way to segue into it, so I just asked him about it point blank.

"Mitchie? What exactly happened out there in the yard? With you and me, I mean."

He paused and then said, "I don't know..." Another short silenced passed and he whispered, "What do you think happened?"

"I don't know either. It was kinda...you know...weird." Not more than a second after the words had left my lips, Mitchie turned over on his side away from me. I reached out to get him to look at me, but he pulled his shoulder back and turned his face down into the mattress. "Dude, are you ok?"

"Leave me alone..." He sobbed.

"Wait...I didn't mean...I just mean it was 'weird' like...well you know what I mean. Right?"

"Whatever."

"C'mon Mitchie, don't be mad at me. Please?" Mitchie slowly rose up onto his elbows, and he was crying. His eyes seemed to drip tears of pure silver as he finally opened a bit of himself to me.

"I want so badly to be like everybody else, Jack. I want so badly to be normal But I'm not. And no matter how hard I try, I just...I can't stop..feeling this way! I just can't make it stop!"

"Feeling what way?" I asked, but he didn't answer. "Mitchie...talk to me. Feeling what way?"

He hesitated at first, as though the words had a huge brick wall to break down before they could reach the surface, but with determination, and a few more warm tears spilling from his eyes, he told me. "I like...I like guys Jack." He said, and once again...I was frozen. "Did you hear me? I said I like boys! Alright! I said it! Happy now! Mitchie, the little teenage heartbreaker with the fat wallet and the big house...is a fag! Har har...you can _LAUGH_ now!"

A cold shiver ran through me. A surreal feeling of disbelief washed over my entire body and I couldn't really understand what I was hearing. Mitchie was the most wonderful, intelligent, and beautiful boy that I had ever seen in my young life. I had been worshipping the ground he walked on since I first laid eyes on him. And on top of everything else, we had become the very best of friends even without the sighs and the glances and the dreamy ideas of what it would be like to be with him. I couldn't have thought up a more ideal love interest if I tried. To hear those words come out of his mouth should be the most amazing experience of my life! And yet, here he was, telling me that he was gay and I was completely lost as to what to do with myself. As it sunk in a bit deeper, layer after layer of comprehension reaching my emotional involvement at last, I found myself turning into a puddle of butterflies. The air around me seemed to heat up about 50 degrees and I felt my limbs go numb as I moved closer to comfort him. He shrugged me off at first, but when I put my arms around him, he wept openly in my arms. I could feel his tears soaking through my shirt, and my care for him kept him wrapped up in a tender embrace.

"Mitchie," I said, my voice trying hard not to crack under pressure. "Liking guys doesn't mean you can't love somebody. We're just like anybody else."

Was it a slip of the tongue on my part? I don't think so. I felt more like an admission. A confession. And it felt so good to actually speak it out loud for the first time in front of someone else. Especially when it's the boy you've been crazy in love with since you met him. Mitchie caught on to what I said right away and he looked up at me with sad, but questioning, eyes. His gray specs glowed with an escalating level of hope and I melted when he said with a hazy voice, "...we?"

"Yeah..." I repeated nervously. "We..." I looked him in the eyes, this time, able to stare at them head on without backing down, without turning away, without so much as a giggle. And with a passion that was rapidly growing beyond my control, I began to lean forward, closer to his lips, instinctively doing what my body was telling me it wanted and needed so badly. But, as I came close enough to him, Mitchie backed away from me.

"What are you doing?" he whispered "You're lying, you're making fun of me, you always deny being gay at school."

"No I'm not lying or making fun I am gay. I just don't want everyone to know just yet. As for what I'm doing well I don't know...but I can't help it anymore..." I whispered, and for the very first time in my life...I kissed somebody my age. I kissed Mitchie delicately on his lips, and I felt myself become absolutely weightless. Mitchie's breath suddenly rushed out of him as our lips lovingly moved together in a kiss that seemed to stop all time! It could have been anybody, but it was Tanner, the love of my life, and the center of my world. It was electric.

We broke the kiss, and exhaled loudly as we remembered to breathe again. We both broke out into this sleepy half cocked grin and we flopped back onto the bed, our eyes staring at the ceiling. Our young hearts were beating 100 miles a minute, and my whole body was tingling. It tickled all over, and after a few minutes of sitting there doing nothing, I reached out and held his hand. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to do that." I said.

"Not as long as I have, I'll bet." He replied, and it took me by surprise. I turned to look over at him, still so beautiful that it was almost painful to be close to him and not kiss him...and I leaned in for another peck on the lips. I looked into his eyes for a moment and he kissed me again, and again. Our quick pecks soon turned into a slower and passionate lip lock that blocked out every difference that we had ever had, and made us equal in every way. We began to rub and slide against one another as we made out for what seemed like an hour. I couldn't tell if we were breathing or not, and I didn't care. He was an even better kisser in real life than he was in my dreams. Oh my God his lips were honey sweet, and they made me thirsty for another kiss the second he pulled away from me. My hands ran up and down his side, his caressed my lower back as they had outside, but this time, I allowed him to go all the way down. To grab at me, and pull me into him as we lay on our sides. I heard the most adorable whimper escape his lips as we kissed, and it made me kiss him even harder. His hair would occasionally brush accross my face as we rolled over one another, not saying a single word. I thought I was going to explode.

I could feel Mitchie's hardness as he lay down on top of me, and I could feel the pressure as he pushed it forward into my own bulge. His light weight frame was covering me, and his kiss drew my senses right out of me. But below the waist, I was crying for more. I gently rolled my angel off of me, and let my kisses travel down to his soft warm neck. At first, I used my hand to steady myself by putting it on the softness of his young belly, but as the tent in his pants grew more fierce, I let it travel further downward and tenderly gave it a squeeze. Mitchie let out a high pitched whimper and used his hands to hold my head closer to his neck as I licked him there. Mitchie rolled over a bit more onto his back and moaned softly as I continued to grope and massage him through his pants. I used my free hand to lift up his sweater, exposing his two erect nips to me, and I sucked at them lovingly. The tight brown nipple got even more sensitive as I nibbled on it lightly. Mitchie ran his fingers through my hair, and as I looked up, I saw him with his eyes closed, his mouth half open as I pleasured him. So I took it a step further. It's what I had been waiting for. I was able to unzip his pants aftr a few tries, and reached inside. It was soooo hot in there. I felt around as Mitchie gasped out loud, and took a hold of the organ inside. With another few squeezes, making Mitchie squirm and wiggle uncontrollably on the bed, I brought it out of its warm hiding place. The heat was incredible, it was like this thermal wave that passed from him to me though our sensual contact, and just holding it there in my hand was enough to almost push me over the edge.

"Mmmmm....wait...Jack. Lemme take these off.." He whispered, and I let go long enough for him to remove his pants all the way. I was glued to seeing his cute teen body become more and more naked in front of me as his pants and then underwear followed. His ass was beyond explanation. I felt my dick throb just looking at it. The beautiful shape of it, the cute little tan line, and little dimples in the sides. Wow...I'm in heaven. He caught me looking and smiled.

"This isn't a one man show, cutie." He said seductively, and I stood up to take my pants off too, our shirts finding their way to the outer corners of the room, shortly after. We were completely naked with the exception of our white socks, and we met in the middle of the bed to engage in another kiss. It was a bit awkward, trying to lay back down and kiss at the same time, but we managed, and began rolling around, back and forth, all over again. Feeling his smooth flesh sliding against mine, unrestricted, our bodies became one and we began instinctively grinding into each other slowly. His silky skin felt so right, his breath on my cheek as we kissed was such an awesome sensation. I didn't ever want to stop. I switched around and lowered my head slowly, kiss after kiss down his stomach, to my prize as he waited impatiently. The aura of heat around his hardness warmed my face, his thighs wiggling in anticipation, and I kissed the tip of it delicately, reaching out my tongue in a slow lick to get a taste. Mitchie jumped at first, but then silently urged me to go further with pleading eyes. It was then that I took him into my mouth, for one long suck as far down as I could go. Mitchie was delicious, just as I knew he would be, and his flavor filled my mouth, his scent filled my nostrils...I couldn't believe I was here doing this. I couldn't believe any of this was happening!

I took the time to explore every inch of him with my probing tongue. The slightly salty piss slit, the rubbery head at the top of his stiff member, the ridge of his circumcised helmet...it was all candy to me. I let my tongue feel every vein and artery as the texture of his velvet smooth skin slid in and out of my moist lips. I rubbed my hands continuously over his thighs and reached under to grip the globes of his tempting ass tightly as he pushed his hips up into my face. Mitchie was moaning at this sexy high pitch that didn't even sound like him anymore. It sounded more like the joyful noise a five year old would make when he got a new toy! Mitchie was writhing wildly now, trying to keep his legs from moving, trying to find something to do with his hands, burying his fingers into the locks of my hair. I let my head move up and down a few times, and then I would let him push up into my warmth on his own for a few times more. Then, I felt him swivel around with his hardness still in my mouth. I didn't want to let go of it, I was salivating over it, hungry for it. But I let him get a bit more comfortable before letting my lips rise and fall on his shaft again. Then...I felt his hand reach out to gently take hold of my own hardness, his touch surprising me. I moaned in ecstasy as he began to rub his hands up and down, trying to give me back some of the pleasure that I was giving him. God it felt good! I sucked harder and it made him speed up his hand motions as his moans got increasingly louder by the second. The room was beginning to steam over as our sex reached new heights of passion. I sucked for all I was worth, my mouth bobbing up and down as though my life depended on it. And Mitchie began to lean over, trying to reach me with the ruby red splendor of his lips. He couldn't quite lean over far enough, so I slowed down for a second, and I got on top of him in a 69 position, straddling my legs around his head as he began kissing my thighs. He was eagerly trying to get a hold of me, and when I felt my inches plunge softly into the sultry insides of his warm wet mouth, I almost lost it. It was like my whole body had caught fire, and the slippery wetness of his tongue slid across the surface of my sensitive skin. It was mind blowing. I tried to concentrate on the service I was giving him before, But I couldn't. It felt too good, it was all too amazing, and while lost in a sensory overload, I felt my orgasm burn a blazing hot trail through me. I used what was left of my self control to raise up on my knees and pull out of his mouth before it was too late, and he took hold of me again as I exploded. Jet after jet of warm juices splashed across his neck and chest. I whined, cried, and purred as I used my tongue to further stimulate him. The taste of him, oh wow...the taste of him. He suddenly jerked up himself as he entered his own climax by surprise, and with a high pitched moan he sprayed into my mouth. He evidently didn't have time for a warning, and I hadn't expected it at all. It caught me off guard. I had no choice but to swallow every drop. But once the first few squirts went down ok, I greedily suckled at the rest of it as though I had been doing it all my life. And we lay tangled up in each other like that for quite a while. We couldn't move, not after that. Our bodies were spent, every muscle relaxed, our heads still spinning in the throws of orgasmic bliss. I climbed back up into Mitchie's loving arms, and we both squirmed together, not being able to find a spot comfortable enough to rest in while our bodies became more sensitive to touch than they ever had before. It was like every nerve ending had been magnified 100 times and was just _waiting_ for someone to touch it so it could set us off again. But...at last, our teen bodies relaxed and our breath came back to us.

Mitchie looked over at me passionately as I lay next to him. We both were side by side, completely naked on top of the covers. He kissed me on the cheek giggled playfully. "So...what now?" He asked.

"I don't know. I don't care either...as long as we get to do that again, and soon" I answered.

"And again....?"

"And again!"

"And again." We laughed, and kissed again, our tongues intertwined naturally, as we made a very unheard of revelation. Well...unheard of to us anyway. I think this means....I have a boyfriend! Shit! What are the odds?

We laid like that for a while, his head leaning comfortably on my shoulder the way it had been on the bus that one fateful morning. I could still smell traces of the sweet strawberry shampoo on his hair and kissed his head as he ran his hands in small circles over my chest. Did this just happen? Is this even possible? I don't know for sure. I'm still scared that I'm going to wake up all of the sudden and have to change the sheets on my bed. Some things are too good to be true. But I do know one thing. For the first time ever...I felt rich. I had it all, everything I needed to survive...lying right here next to me, touching me, loving me. I kissed him again and he returned the favor. We continued to peck, grope, stroke, and kiss each other until it was time for Mitchie to go home. Bobby would probably be a little....um...catatonic, if he came home and caught us like this all of the sudden. So we searched for our clothes, and I watched him get dressed again, kissing his shoulder delicately as he pulled his pants up. I so wished he could stay I walked him to the door, and said, "Well?"

"Well?" He repeated, and we looked at each other with big bashful grins on our faces. "Hehehe, I guess this is the weird part, huh?"

"Yeah, maybe. But know I want to see you again though."

Mitchie leaned forward a bit, and his hair fell into his eyes like it always did. "Me too." He moved up and kissed me sweetly on the cheek. Ad then he leaned to my ear and he whispered the words "I love you, Jack." in my ear. Every word I would ever hear after that day just wouldn't compare.

"I love you too..." I said, and we kissed again softly before he adjusted himself and left. There was no doubt about it, I was in love, stuck in love...forever. And I've never been so happy to be so out of control.


	10. Chapter 10

Although I didn't get to see Bobby as much, my life had gotten much brighter. Mitchie was everything to me he made me feel as though I was an actual person. I completely forgotten about my past and didn't care about my future as long as Mitchie was there.

It had only been two weeks since Mitchie and I had fallen in love and I'm being totally honest when I say that every day of the week, I fall deeper and deeper in love with him. There's always some new corner to turn or some lovable piece of his personality that I hadn't seen before. And that only urged me to dig even deeper into who he was, and snuggle myself into that part of him as best as I could. My heart never seemed to get enough. Mitchie couldn't enter my thoughts, even for a split second, without simply blocking out everything else. Mitchie's gorgeous smile invaded my imagination every second of the day and it brought a smile to my face, every time. It was almost scary, the way he became this all important part of me. His black and blue hair, his soft pink lips, his silky skin, his cute little smile. How could I have been so involved with one boy? Or an even better question how can I see past all of that physical beauty, and still see an even greater treasure below the surface. Some people are cute, some people are cool, some people are gay....but to find all three in one person is a winning lottery ticket if ever I saw one.

Mitchie and I, we did everything together. He'd take me to the movies on the weekends most of the time, even if we had seen it already, even if the movie sucked. We had a blast when we went to go see some children's movie about some dumb fluffy teddy bear having an adventure in the woods and tried to get back to the big city! Hahaha, we just basically talked through the whole ridiculous movie and made every low brow sexual we could about the storyline. I'm sure we made some parents mad that night, but the kids seemed more interested in OUR conversation than the movie. I'm really surprised that we didn't get kicked out of there.

As for the other kids at school, they seemed to treat me a little better when Mitchie was around. When he wasn't....well let's just say they turned the snobbery button down a bit more than usual. Nothing had changed, I knew that, but at least they put forth some effort to keep it to themselves ever since they saw me hanging out with one "one of their own". Basically they just kept their whispers down to a minimum until our backs were turned. It didn't bother me in the least anymore though. All the money in the world couldn't buy the feelings I had surging through my body all day long. It couldn't buy the hidden kisses that Mitchie would give me when we could find time alone. It certainly couldn't buy the laughs we shared together, or the good memories we were building every time we went out somewhere. The way I see it, it was the 'normal' kids who should have envied me. It's just too bad that they would never understand that.

The only cramp in the plan was that I didn't get to see my lover boy as much as I wanted to. Alone, I mean. We were in two different parts of town, and he lived a half an hour away by bus. Considering that school took up most of the day, and homework took up most of what was left, that didn't leave much time for us to visit during the week. Bobby was pretty clear on me studying and keeping my grades up, so school days were pretty much off limits, but boy did I run over there on the weekends! Those were our 'naughty' times together. And we were usually so built up over the week; we couldn't keep our hands off of each other for more than the time it took to get to a quiet secluded part of his house. The touch of him, the smell, the taste...I would be drunk with it for hours afterwards, and my whole body would float in a zen like state for the rest of the weekend. He was so amazing.

Bobby was really happy that I had made a new friend in school. He was trying to be as supportive as he could be, but I knew that he was too busy to try too hard. Bobby was a sweet person and was always trying to do everything he could to make life better for me, but he just didn't have the money to stretch. It never bothered me until now, really. I was used to not having a whole lot of material bullshit in my life, and I certainly didn't need the name brand clothes, and hundred dollar shoes, and video game systems _now_. We made due with what we had, and it always seemed to be enough for us to smile. Now money was all anyone cared about. And even though I had given Mitchie my heart with every breath I could muster when I found out that his birthday was coming up in a week I didn't think that was going to be enough.

Mitchie was visiting my house that Saturday night and he was going to spend the night. We had it worked out that way because we knew that Bobby would have to work that night until 3AM...giving us time to...um...watch TV...

Naturally, Bobby gave me a suspicious eye and told us to make sure we behave quite a number of times before getting ready for work. He was trying to get his shit together in the other room while Mitchie and I sat on the couch in the living room. "You know, I'm having a party at my house next week for my birthday. You've _got_ to come. Games, swimming pool, music, cake...it'll be great!" Mitchie said.

"I'm so there dude! I'll see if Bobby can give me a ride." I said. We went in the kitchen and asked him if it would be all right. He said it was fine, but was too busy looking for his car keys to really pay attention to us.

Finally, he found what he was looking for, and started patting his pockets for something else. "What are you looking for?"

"I can't find my ID." he said.

"You're wearing it, Bobby." he looked down and grinned at me before grabbing his bag.

"Alright, I've got to go kiddo. You boys play it safe until I get home, okay? no funny business!" he reminded us, and kissed me on the forehead while rubbing Mitchie's head, mussing up his hair. "There's some leftover chicken in the fridge if you guys get hungry."

"No there isn't."

"Yeah, there is. I left it in the back...uh...it's wrapped in tin foil or something, isn't it?"

"We ate those three days ago." I said.

"What? No, there's gotta be some left in there somewhere..." he went to check, and sure enough, it wasn't there. There wasn't much of anything in there. He closed the refrigerator door and went hurriedly fumbling around in his pokcket for some money and pulled out a single dollar bill. He uncomfortably looked for more, but didn't find anything more to give us. "um boys?" He said, wondering what he could do for us, "Listen...maybe, if you ask Mrs. Munch next door, she can...maybe she'll..."

Mitchie stepped in and interrupted by saying, "Hey, Jack. What about that twenty dollar bill you found in the gym locker room yesterday?"

"What twenty dol..." I said before Mitchie nudged me in the side. I got the message and played along, "...ohhh, yeah. I forgot to tell you Bobby. Their loss, our gain, right?" I smiled, "Just go before you're late for work. We'll just order a pizza or something." he looked at us for a moment, and I told him, "We'll be fine, go."

I don't think we fooled him, because he suddenly seemed really down about the fact that he couldn't feed us. But he didn't say anything. He just whispered a grateful "Thank you..." and walked over to hug Mitchie. Then he walked out and closed the door behind him. Before he could even get down the steps, Mitchie turned to me and our arms reached out for one another as he kissed me on the lips. It was always like the first kiss, and it always left me breathless.

He stopped for a moment and said, "Should we order the pizza before or after I finish tearing into you?" A wicked smile spread across his face, and I _knew_ that this was going to be a 'fun' night.

"How about during?" I saw him grin and began imitating what it would sound like with us moaning and groaning on the phone.

"Ooooohhh...pepperoni...aahhhhh...extra large sausage please...OHHH...here it comes! HERE COMES THE CHEEEEESE!" We were laughing hysterically at this point, and its very hard to kiss somebody while you're laughing. Our lips were trying to press themselves together, but when we giggled our bodies would shake and our smiles would stretch out and we just couldn't manage to keep it together. But, after a few minutes, we got a little more serious and I felt Mitchie's slick tongue enter the warm insides of my mouth. Slowly rotating and rubbing against my own, as we joined in another seductive union. He stole my soul away, again and again. Every kiss was better than the last, and my self control was lost when I was in his arms. Mitchie's breathing sped up, and we held onto one another with a tight embrace. Mitchie slowly dropped his soft hands down my back, and then let it slide around my waist to feel the bulge in front. He applied a sensual pressure as he rubbed it up and down, our kissing getting more intense. Then, he un buttoned my jeans, the zipper sliding down with just a press of his finger, and worked his hand into my boxers...letting his fingertips touch me in the most intimate way. A low moan escaped my throat and I fell into a trance of pure ecstasy. I had to break the kiss and lean my head back, the sensation flooding all over my body. Mitchie wrapped his fingers around my length, and gave it a few gentle tugs as he looked lovingly into my eyes and smiled.

"C'mon...I need you." He said, and he removed his hand from my pants to lead me to my room. My pants were still open, we were both so hard that it was difficult to even walk, and watching the smooth way his ass would sway as he walked in front of me wasn't helping. Then, just as we were passing by the front door, we heard keys rattling, Bobby was back home!

Shit! We ran back across the living room and jumped over the back of the couch, throwing pillows over our erections to hide our excitement. Bobby came back in the house and yelled out, "Forgot my jacket!" as he flew past us and ran upstairs. He didn't even look in our direction. As soon as he was out of sight, Mitchie and I let out a sigh of huge relief, and then started giggling again. I quickly removed the pillow from my lap and zipped myself back up before he came back down. "Oh my god, that was close!" I whispered.

"Hehehe, the look on your face..."

"What? Come on, you were scared too."

"Not as scared as you were." He grinned.

"Of course not, it's not _your_ brother!" We both started laughing again, but clammed up the second we heard Bobby's footsteps on the stairs.

Bobby hurried past us again, but stopped for a second to give us a strange look. "Why are you guys being so quiet in here?"

We put on the best innocent childlike mask that we could. "No reason..just...talking." I answered.

"Talking." Mitchie repeated. And we both broke out in another big smile, trying to hold back from snickering.

"Talking huh? Okaaay..." He opened the door, and then looked back at us with a smile, "Jack...NO funny business tonight, I mean it." So paranoid.

"Hehehe, I won't I Promise!" I giggled, and he closed the door. We waited a few quick seconds before Mitchie reached for me again. His lips tasted so good, so special...mouthwatering kisses that lifted me right out of my seat. But, just as we were getting into it, the door opened again and we both snapped back into place. This time Bobby wanted to change his shoes! geez! he disappeared upstairs for another second, and we tried to slow our heartbeats down again as we maintained as much poise as we could. Mitchie looked at me with the most gorgeous grey eyes and shy smile as if to say 'When is he leaving already?' I shrugged my shoulders in response, and we sat back to wait until he was gone. I heard some rustling upstairs for a few minutes, and was getting impatient. Mitchie reached out a hand, and ran it back and forth across my stomach, reaching up under my shirt.

"I can't wait much longer." He teased me and I was seriously going to explode soon.

"You're gonna be late Bobby!" I shouted upstairs, hoping that he'd move just a _little_ bit faster.

Bobby ran down the steps, "I know, I know!" He came close to the couch and Mitchie pulled his hand back. He kissed us both quickly on the top of our heads and rushed out, finally leaving us alone. Let the games begin.

Mitchie and I made out on that couch for almost an hour before getting up to go back to my bedroom. Never once coming up for air. Sometimes, you can say with a simple kiss what hours of sex can't touch. Then again...sex is good! We shared each other four or five times that night, not needing clothes at all except for the few minutes that it took to answer the door for the pizza delivery guy. My body felt so alive when he touched me, and the warmth of him was so relaxing. I set up a mattress on the floor for him to sleep on. I didn't want Bobby to catch us wrapped up in each other like that. Always forced to keep appearances, it's tiring sometimes. We had fallen asleep by the time Bobby had gotten home, and occasionally I would wake up in the middle of the night, hear Mitchie's soft breathing, and know that I had found true love. There's no explaining how incredibly comforting that is.

It wasn't until the middle of the week at school that I had calmed down after my lovely weekend. All I could think about was my beautiful new boyfriend and how awesome he made me feel inside, even when we weren't together. I used to love to hear him say my name. Nobody on Earth said my name as sweetly as Mitchie did. Something about the way it rolled over his thin lips sent shivers down my spine, and I became incredibly giddy with every word he spoke to me. But it was what happened later that day that dimmed the lights in my eyes a little bit. We had taken a science test in class and finished early, so the teacher decided to just let us relax until the end of the period. Naturally, that meant that everybody else goes to talk to their friends, and I try 'not to exist' for a few minutes so they don't remember they're better than me. I heard a few of the kids next to me talking about the party that weekend. That Mitchie had a sweet house, and they were going to have an awesome time, and how the 'cool' people get to go. Then it suddenly dawned on me...I didn't have a gift for him. Nothing oh my god...I finally have a boyfriend to call my own, his birthday is coming up this weekend, and I don't even have a present to offer him. I listened to the rest of them talking about buying him this and buying him that, or shopping at some stores that would probably turn me away if they saw me coming. The more they discussed, the lower I felt. Until I started wondering if I should even go to the party. I'd be so humiliated, right there in front of everybody. They'd love it if I gave them a yet another reason to laugh at me to my face. This isn't right, it's all wrong. Mitchie was such a bright part of my world. He had given me so much. A life, a love, a purpose...and what could I give him in return? Nothing. This bites.

The other kids talked proudly about their gifts, like giving him a stick for his pool table, or floating thing-a-mabobs for his pool, or calculators, or video games, or gadgets and trinkets. And all I could do was think about how cruel it would be of me to come to his party without anything to at least warrant the invite. Sure, he knew I wasn't rich, but I could at least buy him _something_ to say, "Hey, thanks for the blow jobs! -Your buddy Jack."

Then I heard somebody whisper softly, "I heard _he's_ going to...so..." and someone else shushed him when I looked up. As though I couldn't _tell_ who they were talking about. I heard some quiet giggles and just focused my attention back down to the desk and my notebook. That's it no way no way am I going. I'm just I'm not going. I'll make up an excuse; I'll make it up to him later, whatever. But I'm just not going.

I saw Mitchie on the bus after school, and although I did my best to keep up some kind of normal conversation, he could tell something was a bit 'off' about me. "Have you got something on your mind, dude? You're not yourself today." He asked.

"Yeah..." I started, but I didn't look him in the eye. Instead I pretended to rumble around in my backpack. "About this weekend...um...I don't know if I can come to your party." I mumbled it out, but I know he heard me.

"Aw, but dude you have to come. It's not going to be any fun at all if you're not there."

"I can't, really. I've got this...'thing', happening this weekend, and...It'll be running late..." He knew I was lying. But he just gave me an enchanting smile anyway.

"That's alright. Maybe next time."

"Mitchie, I'm sorry..."

He playfully put his hand up to stop me, "No no s'ok. You don't wanna come to my party. I get it." He grinned.

"Come on, it's not like that. You know that."

But he continued to tease me, "You could have just said, 'I don't wanna go to your stinkin' party, but you didn't."

"Hehehe! Quit it! You're making me feel bad." I pouted.

"That's it if you don't go, then the party's off."

"Don't,"

"Uh huh...if Jack doesn't want to be at my party, then what kind of party could it possibly be?" His smile was beautiful, even when he's teasing me. I just looked at him while he tried to keep a straight face.

"You wouldn't do it." I dared him.

"Watch me. I'll shut the front gate and tell everyone to go home. So you better be there, or they are gonna be really upset with you come Monday morning." He giggled.

I sighed loudly I couldn't resist him or anything about him. Why even try? "You're not being fair, you know that right?"

"Yep! So are you coming?"

"They're gonna..." I paused, not wanting to sound like I was whining, "They're gonna laugh at me, Mitchie."

"You're not there for them. You're there for me. You're there because I need you to be." He leaned really close to me on the bus, his lips almost touching my ear, and whispered, "And because I love you so much it hurts." It was like a current of warm electricity shooting through me when he said that. "So you better show up. No excuses."

"Alright I'll be there." I said reluctantly.

"You promise?" He asked.

"Promise." And with that, my fate was sealed. It looks like I was in for an embarrassing time. I've GOT to think of something. I've GOT to!

I racked my brains out that night, trying to come up with some kind of thoughtful, original, 'something' to make Mitchie at least appreciate the effort. But every idea I had was too small, too cheesy, or just way too expensive! Argh! The next day I continued to kind of shy away from Mitchie as much as I could without him catching on. I felt like a leech or something, thinking back to all those times he took me to the movies, or when he bought dinner, or the whole thing with the guitar. He was always buying me stuff, and I just sat there and took it all. What did I ever give HIM that was so special? Sex? He could spin around in a crowded room and get anybody he wanted to have sex with him. He didn't need me for that. I don't know what it was, but I just I needed to do this for him. I need to show him that I love him more than I can say. I just don't know how I'm going to do that.

The next morning, I was still empty on what to do, and I had to start facing the fact that I might not be able to do anything at all. I had asked Bobby about what to do, but he was already in a hurry for work, and the few ideas he had to give me were all on a much smaller scale. He was thinking of him as more of a 'buddy'. Someone to trade comics with or play an occasional video game with. He didn't know how deep it went, how much he truly meant to me. How could he? I really do hate this.

I joined Mitchie outside on the front lawn this time to eat lunch, instead of in the courtyard. I guess he didn't want to deal with the jerks around here anymore than I did. But the sun shines more out on the lawn, and Mitchie's awesome beauty just seems to glow when he's wrapped in sunlight. His eyes sparkle, his hair shines...he's more likable than you can imagine. Still, I kept him at arms length for most of lunch, and pretty much avoided all conversation about the party. I kept thinking that I could still back out if I wanted to...but that would be stupid. Then it would be a double whammy, no show and no gift. I'm sure the others would just love that. We stood up after eating and were ready to head inside when Mitchie heard the radio of a car passing us on the street. It was playing some song that I hadn't heard in ages.

"Oh man! I haven't heard that song in forever! I love that song! It's my favorite!" He said happily.

"I thought that other song I played for you this past weekend was your favorite? And yesterday, it was something different. And before THAT it was a completely different one." I said grinning.

"Hey, I can have as many favorite songs as I like." He said, and stuck out his tongue as we headed back to the building.

Mitchie took off to go back to class inside, but before he left he looked like he wanted to kiss me goodbye. Almost did it on pure instinct actually. It was weird. I was drawn to him, and I know he felt it. We had to fight so hard to keep from kissing in the middle of the hallway. We had gotten so used to it being normal for us to kiss each other, we had forgotten that the rest of the world has a very different definition of what 'normal' is. So, trying to 'stay in character', Mitchie patted me awkwardly on the shoulder and said he'd see me after school. I can't disappoint him on his birthday. Not my angel. I needed an idea for a gift, and fast!

I made a few arrangements, some phone calls, spent about 8 dollars taking the bus back and forth, and put together a little something. And when I say little, I mean LITTLE. When I had finished, I just kinda looked at it...pitiful as it was. It was one of those rare moments when it hurt to be in love.

Bobby drove me out to the party that weekend, and told me not to worry and that everything would be fine. You know, 'brother' stuff. Then he drove away and left me to fend for myself against the sharks inside. Alright here goes nothing. The house was already full of kids. Most of them were from school, some were Mitchie's cousins and family who had come to visit from out of town. They were all so cute! Mitchie's family looked like little versions of him at different ages, his looks ran in the family. And yet he outshined them all. He saw me when I walked into the backyard, and ran over to greet me with a big hug. "I knew you'd make it!" He grinned, and he took a hold of my hand, guiding me into the middle of the back yard. Kids were jumping and diving into the pool, his dad was barbecuing on the patio, and everyone else was just sort of standing around talking. It was like a teenage 'cocktail party' with soda. I noticed some of them got quiet when I showed up, but Mitchie kept me at his side to send a message to them all that I was more than welcome. So they backed off...for now anyway. Still, it was a bit uncomfortable this time around. As close as Mitchie and I were, I think they had me beat this time.

I saw the gift table, and was amazed at the stack of stuff sitting on top of it. Expertly wrapped in gold and silver, red and blue, giant bowtiesthe whole nine yards. I was thinking of trying to hide my present in with the others so no one would notice, but I was sure that it would be so lame compared to the others, it would stick out even more just by being on the table. So I kept it in my pocket the whole night. I'll give it to him in private later maybe.

I brought a bathing suit with me, but I didn't do any swimming. And since I didn't really get along with most of the people there, and didn't know the rest of them, it only added to my already tainted mood. "Dude, check this out..." Mitchie said, still having a good time. "...Amara wrote me a love letter and handed it to me in front of my mother! Hehehe, I know what she's doing. Get the parents to ask some questions, apply some pressure..."

I worked up a smile, "Maybe you should give her a shot, loverboy."

"What-ever!" He rolled his eyes in the cutest way, and then bashfully looked down at his feet, "Besides, I already know what I want." He said under his breath. My smile got a bit brighter, and he turned red almost instantly. "Come on, you wanna go for a swim or something? Water's heated and everything."

"No...that's ok. You go ahead."

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. And Mitchie..." I said, "Happy birthday."

"Thanks." He replied warmly, and went off to rejoin the party. With the music and the laughter and the food, I should have been having just as much fun as he was. But I wasn't. Too much on my mind. Too little in my heart.

The time came to open presents about an hour later, and I quietly shrugged off into a dark corner of the yard alone while everyone else gathered around the gift table. Mitchie's eyes blossomed into pools of grey splendor as he reacted to each present. Each gift got bigger and more elaborate; each box got better looking and was decorated with more flair. I felt even worse than before and was getting ready to sneak away. I could go back in the house, call Bobby to pick me up, and be halfway home before Mitchie even realized I was gone. All I've got to do is find a way out of here.

Just then, Mitchie came over to me and said, "It's time for the cake. The first piece is mine, the second is yours. So choose wisely." He cheerfully threw an arm over my shoulder and led me back to where everyone else was. So much for my 'great escape'. We spent the rest of the party hanging out together. He must have known I was getting ready to leave, because he wouldn't let me out of his sight. Even when his family called him over to take pictures or whatever. But even though he did everything he could to make me feel at home, I just wasn't into it. I didn't want anyone else to see me there. The 'pity child'. They'd look at my gift and laugh at me, or _worse_, Mitchie would open it and give me a "geez, that's really nice." in front of everybody. I just wouldn't be able to take that. It would hurt way too much.

Finally, after hours of emotional misery, the party thinned out and people started going home. Mitchie and I were the last ones left, and he told his mom that I was still waiting for a ride. She left it at that and walked away. "Yeah, I should probably call so he can be on his way." I said, but he stopped me.

"Screw that. Call him later. This is our time now." And Mitchie took a soft hold on my hand. "I don't want you to go yet."

"You know you have to learn to stop being so damn cute all the time." I smiled.

"I will when you stop falling for it." He giggled a bit and told me to follow him down the hall.

We went down into his basement, complete with big screen TV, a built in bar, and plush recliner chairs. Everything about his house was so cool. He never once let go of my hand as he led me through the room and we sat on the couch. He said, "I couldn't help but notice that you weren't necessarily in a partying mood tonight. I hope they weren't giving you any trouble out there, I know how they can be."

"No...it's not that."

"Then what is it, hon? C'mon, I wanna see you smile. You're beautiful when you smile." He said, still grasping my hand. "Everything is beautiful when I see you smile."

He was just so hot when you heard him say things like that. Whenever he was serious, his face would form this sensuous reflection of teenage charm at its finest. He put his other hand on my knee, and his eyes searched mine with concern. I guess it was an opportunity for me to confess my feelings. "It's the gifts, Mitchie. I mean, how am I gonna compete with those kids? Everything they got you was just so cool. And you loved them for it. But I didn't do half as well. Here _I_ am, sitting here with _this_ dorky thing." I said, taking the tiny box wrapped in a brown paper bag out of my pocket.

Mitchie seemed a little surprised, "Jack...you didn't have to buy me a present. Honestly."

"Yeah, sure. That's what everybody says...until you can't get them anything." I said, I whispered to myself, "I feel so stupid."

"Dude I told you, don't sweat it. Those other gifts out there, they didn't even wrap them themselves. It's stuff ordered out of a catalogue. It's more about how it makes them look to give it to me, than it is about my birthday. You give me a gift everyday that we're together."

"That's not enough to show you how I feel. It's never enough." I said.

"Jack..."

"Open it."

"It's not about..."

"Just open it. I've already come this far, I might as well make this a completely humiliating evening." I sat back, and I braced myself for his reaction.

He hesitated for a moment, trying to think of some way to make me believe that it wasn't necessary, but he decided to open it anyway. Mitchie delicately unwrapped the small box and found a cassette tape inside. I bought one of those 90 minute blank tapes from the store and made a little hand drawn cover for the box. I looked away and tried not to look Mitchie in the eye as he opened the cassette case. In it was a simple mix tape I put together of all of his favorite songs. Every one that I could remember, new stuff, old stuff, slow stuff, dance stuff...everything that I knew he liked. I must have asked every single boy, girl, mom, dad, brother, sister, cat, and dog in town if they had these songs on tape anywhere. I rode that bus back and forth all over the neighborhood and beyond, just trying to get them all, but I did it. I hoped and prayed that he would at least be convincing in telling me liked it. It wasn't much, but it was all I had.

The silence was deafening. He hadn't said anything yet, and I turned my head to avoid having to see him. I wish I had made that phone call. Bobby would have been here by now and I could get away. He must think I'm so stupid! However, while still mentally kicking myself for being one of the 'un-rich'...I noticed a quiet sniffling sound coming from him. I straightened up, and looked over to see tears crawling over his cheeks, and was a bit confused.

He looked over at me and with a heartfelt sob; he wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Oh wow" he said, "That's so sweet of you. Thank you! How did you find all of these songs? It must have taken you forever. I've looked all over for them and I...I...Oh Jack...I love you with all my heart! I really do!" He kept kissing my cheek between his sobs, and I didn't know if he was being serious or not. I was a little confused and he told me why it was so special for him. "You see this song here?" He said, looking at the listing on the back, "This song came over the radio when my best friend moved away in the fifth grade. I never saw him again, and I was so sad...for like...weeks afterwards. This song was what cheered me up." He picked another one, "And this one played when my grandma got sick and I had to take care of her. She used to love that song." Then his eyes widened a bit, "Ooh, and see this one...I was listening to this one on my walkman when I saw you on the bus for the very first time." He smiled.

I blushed a little, "I didn't know you listened to a walkman on the bus."

"After seeing you that first time, I didn't have to. You were much more entertaining."

I shared a grin with him, but I had to ask, "Mitchie? You're not...you're not just saying all this to make me feel good are you?"

He leaned forward, and placed an angel's kiss on my lips. "Each one of these songs holds a different meaning for me, Jack. A different feeling, a different memory...it's like you put my whole life on here, and now I can relive those moments all over again. Anytime I want." Another tear dripped from his eye, "Jack, this is the best present I've ever gotten from anybody before. _Ever_."

"Well...it's no guitar. But I needed you to know...I love you. You have to know."

"I do, baby. I do." He said, and got up to put it in his stereo. As the first song started to play, he dimmed the basement lights and quietly locked the door. "Just in case..." He crept back to me on the couch and I simply leaned back to offer my body to him in every possible way. He kissed me lightly, and then just held me close, the coolness of his tear stained face side by side with my own. He liked it. I couldn't believe it. My little piece of shit gift actually made him feel good. And for the first time since I had met him, I honestly felt like I had given him back at least a fraction of the unbelievable joy that he had given to me. For the first time, I felt like I had surprised him with something that he couldn't just get for himself. And that was magic. He told me that none of the other gifts had come close, that they didn't involve as much thought, as much care, and I believed him. Mitchie knew how to raise my spirits...among other things.

Our kissing resumed, and he laid me back on the soft cushions below. My body already knew what to do, and its reaction to him was pleasure personified. He slowly lowered himself onto me, his black and blue locks of hair falling intimately onto my forehead. He kissed me in a way that made my whole body weak while grinding his hips into mine slowly. Our boyish moans filled the room, unheard by the rest of the people in the house. They were upstairs in another part of the house. We couldn't have been more alone. The soft ballads of his new cassette playing in the background set a sexual tempo for us to move to. Mitchie was so into it, even more than usual. I could feel his emotions pouring out of him as his slim teen body washed over me. It was like making love with our souls instead of just our bodies. Mitchie's kisses were amazing, and it wasn't long before his lips and tongue moved down to tickle the soft nape of my neck. I held onto his slender waist, feeling his muscles swim erotically under his soft skin as he humped and pushed down into my body beneath him. He lifted my shirt, and let his tender kisses taste the pink texture of my nipples. He teased me there, my torso feeling red hot with the sensation of him sucking gently at my chest. I shoved my hardness up into his chest rhythmically as he moved lower, licking at the sponge soft flesh of my lower abdomen. Then he undid my pants and exposed my stiff member to the cool air around us. He gave me a momentary look of raw passion and proceeded to take me into his mouth. The heated wetness of his suction caused me to gasp out loud, feeling my hips involuntarily jut forward. His mouth was so hot on me. He sucked lovingly at me as I tried to keep from squirming too much under him. He was trembling; his motions making me wiggle playfully with his touch. Mitchie's soft hair tickled my thighs and his chin rested on my balls with every down stroke. His breath would breeze through my sparse hairs, and it would tickle as they rustled softly every time he exhaled. His soft moans would send these bubbly vibrations shooting through me, and it got to the point where I just couldn't take anymore. I held off for as long as I could, but the closer I came to letting it go, the more adorable he would get. His childlike whimpers, his silken hair, and when he looked up into my eyes, with me still firmly placed between his lips, it was over. I tightened up and my body grew a mind of its own. I danced and spasmed uncontrollably as Mitchie's cheeks collapsed around my hardness and sucked it right out of me. My legs kicked out and my eyes were closed so tightly that I saw stars; my climax had me shaking violently. It took a couple of minutes before I could breathe again, and if Mitchie touched me, I would have exploded again.

As I gradually returned to my senses, I felt the cushions sink as Mitchie crawled his way up my body. I opened my eyes to see him removing his pants and boxers to display his erect member to me up close. My mouth salivated for him, and my hands reached out to run my fingers up and down the sides of his waist. He looked down at me seductively as he moved further up to straddle my head. His tender thighs were on either side of my head, and I could feel the heat of his smooth skin on my cheeks as my nostrils were suddenly filled with that awesome smell of clean boyhood. His dick pulsed in unison with his beating heart above my head while I kissed and licked the soft nuggets dangling beneath his shaft. Mitchie lowered himself a little and I took his balls into my mouth, sucking them affectionately one at a time while he moaned above me. He twitched as I rapidly ran my tongue back and forth across the wrinkled flesh, bathing it, and letting my hands move back to the squeezable globes of his ass. I pulled him in closer to me, crushing his body against my face, increasing the feelings surging inside of me.

"Oh God that feels good." He whispered. He threw his head back and put both of his hands on the arm rest behind my head to balance himself. I was enveloped in his scent, still sucking on his testicles as his hips thrust against my face again and again. I could hardly breathe, but I didn't want him to stop. I never wanted him to stop. Mitchie reached down to take my hand and place it around his rock hard organ, begging me to release him from this sexual anticipation of relief. I started jacking him off rhythmically as he began squirming and wriggling, moaning and grunting, almost 90% of his weight being smashed against my face while I gobbled him whole. He impulsively contracted his stomach muscles and his thighs clamped onto either side of my head. He was close...so close. He kept trying to close his legs, but my head was keeping them apart, and I just kept doing my best to please him from as many angles at once as my body would allow. My tongue went crazy on his sack as it drew itself upwards, readying for the moment of truth. My hand became a blur on his shaft, and he couldn't take anymore stimulation. Not for another second. He shivered and then bit his lip to hold back a wild scream as he shot his teen nectar clear over my head. His breathing came in gasps, and the strong pulsing shaft kept spasming out of control for what seemed like 100 sprays. I never stopped moving. I just kept going until he exhaustedly collapsed over me and physically begged me to stop.

"Oh man.....shit...." He said, unable to breathe. "God, I love you." He kissed me passionately as we rubbed ourselves together, and came down from our sexual highs in unison. We lay there silent for a while, when he started to giggle a little bit to himself.

"What? What's so funny?"

"You know...I'm gonna have to clean that up before tomorrow. Hehehe!" He said, referring to the mess he shot all over the basement floor.

"Hehehe, yeah...you are!" He looked down at me, and we rubbed noses before rolling off of the couch and onto the floor. We continued playfully kissing and rolling around for another half hour or so, just enjoying the feel of flesh against flesh.

Afterwards, while still sitting next to each other naked on the floor, we listened to the rest of the tape together. Mitchie's arm was draped over my shoulder, and he would hold me just a little bit closer every time a new song would start. Bringing his feelings to the surface and reminding him of how much he enjoyed it. Then, when the tape was almost over, and Mitchie was listening as the last song ended, the music was replaced by my own voice. I was reciting a short poem that I had written the day before, just to tell him how I feel. I got nervous about what he would think of it, but when his kiss landed sensuously on my cheek, and he laid his head gently on my shoulder, I knew that he liked it. He especially loved the line at the end that said, "If you were to live forever, let me live forever less one day, so that I may never have to know the pain of living without you." That awarded me another long kiss, and a stray tear or two.

"I love you more than life itself, Jack. Don't ever leave me. This is the best birthday I've ever had. And it's all because you were here with me." He said, holding me in his arms.

"I'm glad you liked the present, Mitchie..." Then, with a wicked smile, I said, "...but for my birthday, I want a car!" We laughed and spent the rest of our time together in each other's arms. The tape ran out, we turned off the lights, and kissed in the dark until it got to be late and I had to call Bobby before he started to worry. And even then he hated to see me go. Like I said, I fall more in love with Tanner every single day, today was no exception. And as long as we're together, nothing else matters. Nothing at all.


	11. Chapter 11

*****I don't know if you have noticed but I keep calling Mitchie tanner I'm really sorry I don't know why I keep doing that but if you notice it its just suppose to be Mitchie**

Was it the dark? Was it the hormones? Maybe it was just the 'company'. But there was no way that I could keep my hands off of Mitchie. I couldn't help myself anymore. The funny thing is, we almost made it! We almost made it through an entire movie in the dark without touching or groping or making out once! He was my addiction, how could I say no? That's why I was always the first to give in to temptation. And let's be honest, everything about Mitchie was a temptation.

We were watching "Night of the Living Dead" on DVD in his basement. It was more like being at a drive-in theater, seeing it on his big screen TV. Almost like seeing it for the first time. We had a big bowl of popcorn that we put between us on the couch to further discourage any 'fooling around'. But it didn't work for long, and a little high spirited food fight forced most of it onto the basement floor anyway. No matter what we were doing, we always had moments of just total anarchy that would just keep us laughing all the time. He truly did complete me. And I never knew what was missing until he supplied me with it, and much much more.

It was strange, but no matter how much noise we made, no matter what kind of sexy games we got into, Mitchie's parents never really bothered us down here. In fact, it didn't even seem like they were _there_ most of the time, and even when they were, they didn't seem to care what we were up to. Weird. Bobby would have been peeking in every five minutes. It's one of the reasons I spend most of my time at his house in the first place. Besides, Mitchie was the one with all the cool gadgets and the fun stuff. At my house, the only thing I had for him to play with was...well...me.

The movie was playing at a high volume, but it got blurred into the background as Mitchie's kiss became my only focus. I could feel my breath leave me all at once, making me gasp in a desperate attempt to get it back. Our saliva mixed and swirled as our tongues pushed passed one another, and I gently held his head, running my fingers through the tender strands of his hair. Mitchie swung his legs up onto the couch and laid his head in my lap as I leaned over to kiss him more deeply. He felt so good to the touch. He was so soft; his hair was like silk, his skin was like liquid...and if I ever broke the kiss and looked into his big hazel eyes, I would be pulled back in only to kiss him again. It was endless. I reached a hand down to massage his excitement through his pants, and he arched his back a little to greet me. I felt it jump and twitch eagerly as I rubbed him lovingly. My eyes were closed, and I let the darkness give way to a world of pure sensation. A world where my other senses were all I had, and Mitchie was right there in the center of them all. And yet, after a few minutes of French kissing the most beautiful boy on the planet, I couldn't bear to go on without seeing his cute face below me again. Secretly, I peeked a little with one of my eyes. But when I looked down, I saw that his eyes were already open.

"Dude! Are you watching th movie?" I laughed.

"Huh?"

"You're watching the movie!"

"Hehehe....no!"

"Yes you are! I saw you!" I grinned.

Even in the dark, I could see Tanner blush. "I'm sorry! This is my favorite part! The little girl is getting ready to kill her mom!"

"Should I wait then?" I asked.

"You can kiss me with your eyes open too if you want. But I'm not missing this." He giggled. "Peeker!"

"_Peeker_?"

"Yes, peeker! What are you watching me for? You're supposed to be kissing me." He poked me in the ribs gently and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I could say the same thing, you know?" Finally, he took his eyes off of the screen.

He sighed letting it breeze through his lips, and he whispered, "I love you, Jack. You know that?"

"Hehehe, evidently not as much as this movie." I joked.

"No...I'm serious. I've never been so in love. You mean everything to me. K?" He asked, making sure that I knew he was serious. It was moments like these that made me want to soar into the clouds until I couldn't see the ground beneath my feet. And just when I was about to answer, the little girl in the movie started stabbing her mother and he jerked his head forward to see every cinematic moment of it. Hehehe, I couldn't help but love him even more. He was still watching when it was over with, but I was still longing to taste his kiss again. I had to have it. I had to.

I smiled lovingly at him, and leaned in to go back to work on those pursed lips of his. This time though, we kept our eyes open and tried watching the screen and kiss at the same time. It was not easy! And I ended up laughing out loud at the awkward attempt to even try it. I've either got to concentrate on the movie or the kissing, there was no way I could do both. But we tried until we were both laughing too hard to go on with it. I swear, I could taste his smile, and it was delicious. But for now, we figured we'd just watch the good parts and get back to the tonsil hockey later.

When Mitchie got on the bus the next day, he swiftly took his place at my side an we started chatting away like we always did. He told me that he still had some family in town from his birthday and that they were making him do 'rich kid' stuff this weekend. As they would normally do from time to time when they wanted Mitchie to get exposed to more 'classy' pursuits'.

"Yeah, we're going to the theater or something. Opera." He screwed up his face a bit. "I know it's supposed to be this beautiful art and all, but to me....opera equals boring. And a very _LONG_ 'boring' at that. I'd much rather check out the new Jackie Chan flick at the Cineplex. Unfortunately, I don't have much of a choice. They're making sure of that."

"Too bad man. I'm saving up to go to the movies as we speak. I've gotta date with a kung fu fightin' man! And you sound like you've got a date with a fat lady in a Viking helmet." I said. "Looks like you're on your own."

"Oh no I'm not. Because, you're coming with me."

"What? Oh, please, Mitchie. You know that snobby theater shit isn't for me. Besides, I can barely afford a movie ticket much less a ticket to the opera house."

"Don't worry about it. I've got some allowance saved up and I'm gonna buy you a ticket after school today. You can borrow one of my jackets and wear a tie and everything. It'll be cool." He said.

I looked at him sideways, "You're kidding right? I mean, this is just a joke?"

"No, it's not a joke. I really want you to go, I'll be bored out of my mind. Please? I will make it up to you, I _swear_! Just don't leave me alone with these people." He pleaded.

"Hehehe, you are some piece of work, you know that?" Mitchie looked so hopeful, like he really wanted me there, needed me there. "I'm not going." He gave me a sad puppy dog face, and I felt myself melting. Awwww, it was so cute! "Stop that! I'm not going!" He kept pouting silently. "I'm not going to fit in, everything I do is gonna be wrong, you're family is gonna hate me!"

"I won't hate you." He smiled.

" God help me." I didn't know how his parents would feel about the _lower class_ hanging out with them at the theater. They didn't strike me as being any better or more mature than the teenagers at my school. Actually, they'd probably be even _worse_ in front of company. "Mitchie....you know I'd do anything for you...but this...I don't know." Tanner looked around the bus for any witnesses, then he took my hand in his and gently brushed my hair out of my eyes.

"Jack, I know this isn't exactly your cup of tea, mine either, believe me. But on a dark day I'll shine a little brighter knowing that you were sitting right there beside me." Mitchie looked around again, and let go of my hand before anyone saw us. "It would mean a lot to me." How could I say no to something like that? He made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

"You know how to play me like a puppet, don't you? You're getting good at this."

"Does that mean you'll come to save me on this one?"

I slowly said, "I suppose." and his bright smile filled me up with love, forcing me to smile too. Funny how strong attraction can just make you giggle for no reason. It was almost like coughing, it just came out as a laugh for some reason. Mitchie and I would laugh just because we didn't have anything else to do. It was as if it were the only way for us to express our feelings, because words didn't seem to be enough.

"But you're buying my movie ticket for next week!" I demanded.

"For the next two weeks! I promise!" He said, and there I was pulled into the world of the rich and fake all over again. One day I'm gonna have to learn to fight back when it comes to those puppy dog eyes.

The weekend came even faster than I expected, and I had spent all night nervously starching and ironing my pants and button down shirt as best I could. I went through the last few days not thinking it was going to be any big deal. But now that the moment was here...I felt cold, shaky, even terrified. I wanted so badly to look good for my 'date' tonight. Everything had to be perfection. Better than perfection, in fact! I wanted to make a good lasting impression on his parents, even if they think I'm just a 'friend'. Mrs. Munch next door let me borrow her late husband's tie and her son's old jacket. I would have borrowed Mitchie's, but I was afraid I'd get it dirty or something. His clothes cost way too much money for me to be consumed with the paralyzing fear that I'd get a stain on it or something. Finally, Bobby dropped me off at the bus stop, fully dressed like I was going to prom, on his way to work and I was on my way. Nervous and worried, I spent the entire bus trip twiddling my thumbs and fidgeting uncomfortably in my seat. Think rich, Jack. That's what I had to keep telling myself. Think rich. I must have been moving towards the point where I rattle myself to pieces from being so scared...but when I got off the bus and saw Mitchie actually waiting there to pick me up, all my fears vanished instantly. Melting away the way everything _else_ did in my life when my eyes met his. He was so cute, dressed to the nines in khaki pants and a navy blue jacket with a tie and all. I just couldn't believe the utter emotion that poured out of me when I saw him like that. It made me want to whisk him away to a hotel and do wicked things with him until I was just too exhausted to go on. He looked absolutely scrumptious like that. The way those pants hugged his tight bottom so closely, the way his jacket hung off of his slim shoulders, the way his eyes shined a bit brighter when dressed to kill...it was amazing. His lips, his soft skin, the blinding glory of his smile...God, I was so in love!

When I got closer, I could see that his hair was still a bit damp from the shower, and he still smelled sweetly of soap. Mitchie was a temptation to all five senses and there was no way for me to hide how much I wanted him right then. Mitchie walked over and said hello, but I was so enraptured with the sight of him that it took a few seconds for me to respond.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were going to just wait at your house until I got there." I said, happy to see him make the extra effort.

"Dude, my cousin's still in town and my aunt and uncle are trying to fix me up with some ditzy blond chick that they _decided_ to bring with them. So I told them that you weren't sure how to get here, and I had to come pick you up."

"Hehehe, liar..." I smirked.

"Hey, it's for her own good. If that broad giggled at me and put her hand on my arm one more time I was going to throw her through a window, I swear!" He said, and then turned slightly to say, "Shall we?"

"I'll follow you anywhere..."

We walked towards his house, and I don't know if he could tell, but the closer I got to walking through that front door, the faster my jitters returned. I didn't know how to act or what to do at a _theater_. I don't know how to be...'cultured'. Why was I even here? The only time I had even _seen_ the inside of an actual opera house like this was in a James Bond movie. But all the way to his house, I found myself constantly looking at Mitchie and having an entirely new experience of love with him. It helped a little to soothe the trembles inside. Have you ever had one of those moments when you just look at someone, and it feels as though your soul has its entire purpose for existing all wrapped up in them? A moment where you know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that this is someone that you will remember for the rest of your days, no matter what? This...was one of those moments.

I'm sure Mitchie wasn't aware of my sudden infatuation, but I really couldn't take my eyes off of him, it almost frightened me. I just kept staring at him, and the harder I tried to stop, the more attracted I was to him. There were even a few times that he would look at me and ask "What?" Wondering if he had a stain on his jacket or food in his teeth. But it was just the overall 'miracle' of him, inside and out, that made me stare with such amazement. I wasn't even thinking of sex, or love, or kissing or hugging or touching him...I don't know if I was even thinking at all. I just admired his gorgeous face and body in a way that made me weak in every possible way, shape, and form of the word. What had I done to get so lucky? And who can I thank for this reward?

We walked through the front gate, and eventually reached the house. The door opened and we went into the living room where his family was sitting. It was so strange, because usually we would bypass the family altogether and sneak off to a more private part of his house. I was hoping that this would go well, but the second I entered that room, all eyes were on me. You would have thought that the devil himself had gathered the nerve to walk into a church.

"Mitchie...I see your 'friend' made it afterall." His mother said, making little effort to look pleased to see me. "Everyone, this is one of Mitchie's...'classmates'."

"Hi..." I mumbled, and everyone sort of flashed me the same uncomfortable smile. You know the smile. The kind of shit eating grin that people give to someone when tells a dirty joke in front of a nun.

"We'll be back." Mitchie said, and thankfully pulled me out of the room.

We got around the corner and I said, "Dude I can't do this."

"Yes you can. It's ok..."

"It's NOT ok, Mitchie. They hate me already, and all I said was hi."

"To hell with them. They just don't know you yet. They don't know anything about you. It takes some time for them to warm up to people anyway. It'll be fine."

"Mitchie..."

"Shhh...here..." He straightened my collar a little bit, and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "You look beautiful." He smiled. "Just remember, no matter what, I'm right here with you at all times. Besides...they're going to have to get to know my _boyfriend_ eventually, right?" I grinned at the sound of the word.

"You suck for this. You know that?"

"Yes I do. And I'll be sure to suck hard when we get some time alone next." He whispered it in my ear, and it took all I had to try to keep my erection at half mast until I was sitting down again. Thus, began our night at the theater.

Of course, his family made an unconvincing attempt to be nice to me the whole time before we left the house. Well, not _nice_, but _polite_ at least. I tried for the next twenty minutes to sound classy, but I'm sure they saw right through that. Why was this so hard? I was smart, I was educated. The district paid to bus me to a school for gifted kids for goodness sake. _Somebody_ had to think I was worth it. I was just as smart and classy as they were, just without the heavy wallet to hold me down. Still, something inside of me wanted to impress these people, for Mitchie's sake. It didn't work out too well. Mitchie's uncle seemed to be the nicest one in the bunch, and my only salvation when it came to a pause in the conversation. He was a sweet old guy who had one of those faces that just reminded you of someone you had seen before when you looked at it. Hard to explain. His aunt, however, looked like a mean old barracuda in a shiny red dress. She was one of the most evil looking women I had ever seen, with dark red make up that enhanced her vicious appearance. This woman looked like she was _born_ with a frown on her face, and her personality didn't do much to dispel that theory. Total bitch. Mitchie's cousin Jeff, however, was actually really cute. He was about 17 years old with dark brown hair and Mitchie's pretty grey eyes and pink lips. I was surprised that I hadn't noticed him at the birthday party, he was a heartbreaker. Then of course there was the blond chick, Stacy. She was a pretty girl, don't get me wrong, but the biggest mistake I ever made was asking her how she was doing. She began talking at a hundred miles an hour endlessly in a high pitched voice that shot through me like a laser! She just went on and on and on, from one subject to another without so much as a breath in between. She kept giggling and grabbing my arm and driving me crazy! I looked over to Mitchie in the corner, who seemed to be trying to hold back from laughing hysterically at my ordeal. I mouthed the words "Help Me!" and that only made him laugh out loud in the corner. Not that Stacy noticed in her 'hundred miles and running' run-on sentence.

We left around 6:30 and Mitchie made sure that he and I got to sit in back together. We were a duo in this, even if we were technically being held hostage by the whole situation. I was there for him, he was there for me, and hopefully it would all be over in a few hours. We all arrived at the theater and when we walked inside, I couldn't hide my awe of the place. It was huge, and elegant, and beautiful...I had never seen anything like it before. But there I was, dressed up, side by side with the boy I loved, and getting a taste of a world that, until now, was way above and beyond my ability to grasp it. For a day, just one day, I was going to feel like a king in this place. I saw a few of the other kids from school that just happened to be there and they all said _polite_ things to me as well. Things like, "We didn't expect to see you here." and "You clean up really nice." Thanks again. But fuck 'em, I was with the love of my life and I was going to be happy if it killed me. The weird thing is, they actually felt important being there, these other kids. I think it was some sort of status thing, instead of them actually enjoying the show. Kinda like, 'let's see who can be more cultured this week.' Whatever. Mitchie and I would much rather be sitting in the sticky front row of a movie theater watching mindless explosions any day.

Mitchie and I sat together with Stacy on his side and Jeff next to me. We did everything we could to make sure that we weren't seated apart from one another, even though it seemed like his parents were trying to push me off to sit at the end. My 'date' practically had to hold my hand to keep me close, and they didn't struggle with it...not visibly anyway. Once the show started, everybody else quited down. Mitchie and I, however, spent our time making whispered jokes and holding back little snickers during the entire first half. At one point, we even engaged in a little secret thumb wrestling match in our seat. His mother saw this and immediately reprimanded him with a harsh whisper, so we stopped, but he smiled at me anyway. It was fun! Even though we weren't watching the show really, I was glad I came. Something about them seeing us smiling at each other over and over again throughout the evening seemed to make the rest of his family really uncomfortable. Especially his aunt, who scowled at me from the moment she saw me. Or maybe she was just too damn ugly to control it, whichever. It's not like we were being loud or obnoxious, but it bothered them anyway. I think they had plans to set Mitchie up with 'Ms. Talks-A-Bunch' over there and they didn't quite count on me being here to capture his attention. Ah well, who cares? This is our night, and when it's over with, we'll still be in love.

Finally, after what seemed like twenty _hours_ of singing and prancing, an intermission was called and we got a break in the monotony. Jeff stood up and said,

"I'm going to get a snack or something. Does anybody want anything?" The rest of the bunch was still pretty stiff and annoyed, but asked for a few things anyway. I didn't mean to be that bad, geez! They're so uptight. _Fine_...I'll be good through the second half. But I'll be bored out of my mind. Then, Jeff asked, "Say, Jack, why don't you join me? I might need a hand carrying some of this stuff back."

What was I gonna do? Say no? I hated to leave Mitchie with the babble machine, but I figured he deserved it after his little prank at the house. "Sure. I'll be back." I said, and I followed Jeff out into the luxurious hallway. We started walking downstairs to the little concession stand, but he stopped me halfway down the steps and looked over his shoulder. He waited for some people to pass us to give us some privacy, and then he turned to me to say, "Alright...'Jack' is your name, right? How much?"

"How much what?" I asked with a confused smile.

"Come on, don't play games with me, man. You know what I'm talking about."

Still a bit lost, I wondered if he was just playing a game with me or something. He didn't look too...'playful', though. "I...I don't know what you mean."

"Alright, I'll tell you what, I'll give you a hundred dollars to take a hike. Deal?"

"Excuse me?" I said. What the hell was he doing?

"You heard me. 100 bucks, right here, right now. You take off, and you don't come back. I'll even give you some extra for a cab." He said. He was serious. Actually _serious_.

"But...what...what did I do?"

"Look, you seem to be a pretty smart kid, Jack, so I'm not going to beat around the bush here. I see what's going on up there, and I don't like it." Jeff looked around again to make sure this horror of a conversation was being kept between us. "I know that Mitchie is a bit 'confused' at this age, a lot of kids are. The last thing he needs is for someone to come along and push that sickness any further."

"Jeff...." I started, but he stopped me.

"You know what I'm talking about. I found a couple of little fag magazines under his bed once a year ago and we had a long talk about it. I agreed to keep it quiet, and he agreed not to indulge in this little _phase_ of his. Now the two of you seem to be pretty close in there, and I've got a pretty good idea as to what's going on between you two. Well let me tell you something that will keep you from wasting your time...he's not like that. You got it?" What was happening here? What was Jeff doing to me? "Look, if you want to suck dick, and take it up the ass, and screw up your own life that's fine. But leave Mitchie out of it. He's a good kid, he's got a good head on his shoulders, and he's a promising part of this family. We're trying to save him before it's too late, we don't need you fucking that up."

I don't think I had never been so hurt in my entire life. My lungs felt like they were going to collapse, and my breath was so heavy that it was hard to stand up straight. I leaned against the wall for support as a few more smiling faces passes us by on the steps. How could this complete stranger take such a beautiful experience, such a special night for me, and turn it into something so awful? I couldn't believe that he had actually stopped me on the steps of this grand theater and made me feel like the scum of the fucking Earth. King for a day my ass! I sobbed out loud with a gasp, and was looking around to see if anybody could see me as I began fighting back tears. My eyes watered even more despite my resistance and I had to put my hand to my face to catch a stray tear as it accidentally got away from me.

Jeff wrinkled up his face with a hint of disgust, "What, are you gonna _cry_ now? Geez! You sissies are so sensitive! Here, here's a tissue. Clean yourself up. Now listen, I'm gonna give you this cab fare and the money I promised. Take it and go. We've got a girl that's really interested in Mitchie, and if you stop leading him around by the front of his pants for a few minutes, he's got a shot at something special." I lowered my head, my emotions rushing to the surface faster than I could fight them off. Still, I sucked it up and tried to keep my composure. I'll be damned if I let this asshole make a 'sissy' out of me. And as badly as I wanted to ball up my fist and swing at him with everything that I had...I wasn't about to let him make a poor little neighborhood 'savage' out of me either. I walked into the place with class, I planned to leave it the same way. No matter how badly it hurt inside. Jeff reached in his pocket, "Go play your sick games with some other butt ranger. I'm sure you can find another '1 in 10' cocksucker in your neck of the woods." He said, handing me the cash. Then he looked in one of the mirrors next to us, and straightened his hair and his tie as though nothing had happened. He had no conscience at all about totally breaking me down to nothing in public.

With all the determination I could muster, I kept a stern face, and wiped the stray tears away with the tissue he gave me. Then I snatched the money from his hand. He didn't even look away from his own reflection long enough to see the pain in my eyes. The cab fare, I kept. I had to get home somehow, and I didn't want Bobby to see me like this. The hundred dollar bill, however, I quickly ripped in half and threw down at his feet. I didn't need his fucking money. I didn't need anything from him! The sad thing is...he only laughed. Why should he care, he had more where that came from. He was going to move on to have a good life, a rich life, be surrounded by tons of girls and get the nice house with the white picket fence someday. What was my simple little act of defiance going to do? Nothing. He had access to all of the wonderful things that the American Dream makes possible...except for financially deficient 'fags'....like me.

I knew that he had me beat no matter what, and that hurt even more. Holding in as much as I could with a trembling voice, I looked up and said, "Can I at least say goodbye to him?"

"No need for that, 'Mary'. We don't want to spoil the _rest_ of Mitchie's evening, do we?" Jeff said with a smirk, and I couldn't even speak. I feared than any other words would make me burst into a fit of tears that I couldn't control. I had to hold my breath just to keep from groaning out loud. "We're done here. The exit is that way." What else could be done? I turned and left, a hastened pace leading me to the door before the waterworks started. I could hear a faint vibration behind me as the second act started, and I knew it was too late to go back. Too late to do much of anything. I got in the back of the first cab I saw, and took the longest ride home in history, numb from head to toe. My moment in the sun has just been rained out.

All that night I laid in my bed crying, sobbing hard into my pillow so Bobby wouldn't hear. I had never felt so low. I had never had this aching so deeply connected to my soul before, and I was so humiliated and alone that I could hardly _breathe_. I imagined how cute Mitchie looked to me that night, our time together on the couch, the birthday party, and basically every minute we had ever spent together. How could I have ruined his life? He seemed so happy. _I_ thought he was happy, at least. Maybe he was just being _polite_ like the rest of his family. Maybe he was just more convincing than the rest. Maybe he was just getting his rocks off, practicing his technique for the day when he would leave me for some rich girl in a mini skirt. If this is a phase for him, then I would gladly have thrown every moment of this love affair away. I only wish I had never known that joyous sensation, or felt that sweet kiss against my lips. I hardly slept a wink, tossing and turn in emotional agony, spiced only with the rage I felt for what had happened with Jeff. And I spent the rest of that sleepless night feeling ugly, worthless, embarrassed, and alone. It was like I had never lived at all.

The doorbell surprised me when it woke me up at one o'clock, Sunday afternoon. By the time I had drifted off to sleep, the sun was coming up. I was still a bit groggy, and silently prayed that it wasn't another salesman. Probably just Mrs. Munch asking for her jacket and tie back...it's not like I was ever going to need them again. I walked to the door and rubbed my eyes when I saw Mitchie standing on the front step. In huge contrast to how I usually feel whenever he was near me, it really hurt to see him after last night. "Hey," I said softly.

"Hi..." He paused for a second, and I didn't know what to say. This was truly digging a hole right through the center of me. "Look, can I come in? Just for a minute?" He said.

Is this the part where I get back to screwing him up and making it impossible for him to ever have a normal life? I had my reservations about it, but I let him in anyway. "Yeah...I suppose." He stepped in and closed the door. I walked into the kitchen to grab something to drink, and fixed my hair as much as I could with my hand. Bobby had left me a note on the fridge saying that he'd be gone until 8 PM and that there was some cold spaghetti on the counter if I wanted to heat it up on the stove. I walked back to the living room where Mitchie was sitting in the middle of the couch. He was as beautiful as he always was...and I really hated to notice that. Especially in times like this.

He didn't say much at first, but finally he lifted his head and said, "Look, I'm sorry if I bored you yesterday, Jack. I know you don't like that theater stuff, and you told me that but...I thought maybe we could have a good time if we were 'together', you know? I guess...I never should have forced you to go. I'm sorry."

"_Forced me to go_?"

"Yeah, Jeff told me what happened. He said that you got fed up with all that stuff and you told him you were taking off. I guess that it WAS kind of rude to bring you in front of everybody like that. I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, Jack..I just...I want them to know you. I want you to know them. I want things to work out so we can be together all the time with no hassle. Sometimes I feel like I want to tell the whole world about us, and it's great. But...maybe I pushed a little too hard this time. And I'm sorry."

I should have held it in. I should have come up with some story to let that be the end of the conversation and let us part ways for right now. My heart was breaking and it would never be fixed again without his love there to mend it. But more than that...I needed him to be happy. I needed him to move away from me if I was going to be the downfall in his life. The mistake he lived to regret much further down the road. I couldn't let that happen. He was my angel, my first love, and I'd rather let him go. Even if it meant losing the most important part of my soul.

That's when I blurted out, "I'm the one who should be sorry, Mitchie."

"What for?"

The tears started almost instantly, there was no containing them this time. "For everything. Everything. I don't want...I would never..." I started crying uncontrollably and he seemed to be really lost.

"Jack? What's the matter?" He said, taking my hand to sit me next to him on the couch.

"I never meant to ruin your life, Mitchie. I never wanted to turn you into a stupid....fucking..._sissy_ like me. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry! You were just so cute, and you talked to me and I thought you were so sweet..."

"Wait, slow down. What are you talking about?"

"You give me so much. You take me to movies and buy me gifts and let me play at your house. And last night was really special, you know? I mean it was really special." I kept crying, the second one tear had fallen another was right there to take its place. "But, when everything is said and done, what do I have to offer you? Nothing absolutely nothing!"

"You don't oew me anything, Jack. You never have. I love you, that's why I'm here."

"Don't say you love me, Mitchie. Please? Don't say that anymore." He looked hurt when I said it, but I used my hand to gently caress the side of his face. "Oh babe...it's not because I don't want you. I just...I can't do this anymore."

If my first comment had hurt him, _this_ one was a harsh stab wound in the side. "Jack...what are you saying to me?" I choked up a little, not wanting to utter the words goodbye, not wanting to keep him from being happy. "Jack you look at me, and say what you need to say." Mitchie's eyes began to sparkle with a watery look of their own. And he needed an answer.

"I don't want to ruin your life, Mitchie. I don't want to screw things up for you by making you....like me."

Mitchie calmed me down by reaching out to hug me, and I cried on his shoulder while he rubbed my back lovingly. "Is that what you think? You think you ruined my life? Jack...dude...if anything you _gave_ me life. You made me complete and whole in a way I didn't even know existed. I've never been so happy before in my life."

"You're just _saying_ that. You were so much better before I came along and wrecked everything for you."

"Better? Jack, do you know what I used to do almost every morning before school? I'd cry. I would cry all the time. I would get on the bus and I'd stare out of the window for the whole ride. I'd never speak a single word to anybody. I would just hurt and ache and wonder why I had to be this way. Why I was so different and why it was keeping me so alone. Then you came along and showed me that I have just as much right to love and be loved as anybody else. You made me see that true love is for everybody, not just the 'socially acceptable' options that some faceless moron hands down to the rest of us. When I was really lost and confused, you were there to give me your love and your compassion and your body, and that's all you _ever_ need to offer me. As long as you love me, I'll be ok. And I'll do anything to keep you happy, Jack...anything."

I looked up into his eyes and said, "But...but he said...that you weren't like that..."

"Who said that?"

"J-J-Jeff."

"Jeff? My _cousin_ Jeff? What's he got to do with all of this?

"He said that you were just...going through a phase. That I was going to screw you up if I didn't leave. He offered me money to get lost, but I didn't take it, and..."

Mitchie was _furious_! "That asshole, that son of a bitch! I'm gonna kick his ass!" He fumed, but he let it go long enough to tighten the grip on my hand and stare directly into my eyes. "Look...I love you! Ok? Don't ever believe _anybody_ who tells you different! I can't believe he did that! It's my life, and if I didn't want to be with you than I wouldn't be. But I do, and that's that!"

"What about...he said you two had a talk...?"

"I was 13 years old and I was scared to death because I didn't know what was happening to me. All I knew was that I liked boys and I wasn't supposed to. Even when I met you I didn't know what to do with myself. Everything inside of me was screaming yes, and I didn't understand why I couldn't just 'turn it off'. When Jeff found those magazines under my bed, I was terrified! I didn't know what to do. So...he told me...it was something I'd grow out of."

My face drooped a little bit. "Oh...I see..."

"No...you don't." He told me. "Back then I was so scared that I'd be some reject or something that Jeff's answer seemed like a comforting way to...I dunno...'escape' it. But I'm not growing out of it, Jack. It's not a phase. This is who I am, it's what I want. And when I fell in love with you and you told me you felt the same way...all of my doubts and fears went away. The only thing I had to be scared of was losing your love for me." Mitchie kissed me delicately on the lips. "I want to be with you. And damn the world if they don't understand why. The important thing is that you and I understand why."

Mitchie's combination of loving concern for me and fiery temper towards his family brought back some of my faith in what we had, and some of my pain was washed away. I looked in his eyes, and while he was in mid-sentence, I reached over and kissed him passionately on the lips. He stopped talking right away and kissed me back, placing his hand on my chin and then moving it to gently caress my cheek.

"I love you." I whispered. "I'll always love you."

"I love you too." He answered as he leaned in for another kiss. This time, his tongue gently slid into my mouth and he slowly leaned me back on the couch. For that golden moment, I felt beautiful again. _Everything_ felt beautiful again.

I saw Mitchie getting on the bus that coming Monday morning before school, and he had the biggest dopey looking grin on his face.

"You're awfully happy." I said.

"Yes, I am, actually." He giggled a bit, and I had to ask.

"What's the deal?"

"Oh nothing, it's just that my family finally left town this morning and I got to help my cousin, 'Jeff', pack his fucking bags and get out of my house." He smiled.

"Did you tell your aunt and uncle what happened?"

"Nope...better."

"You put rat poison in Jeff's breakfast?"

"Wish I had, but nope..._better_!"

I looked at him confused and asked, "Well, tell me already. What did you do?"

"Well, you know those old gay magazines he found under my bed a long time ago? The ones he was so worried about and wanted me to keep quiet?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I still have them, just hidden in a much better place. So this morning, while Jeff wasn't looking, I put the whole stash of 'em in his suitcase next to a rather 'thick' candle and jar of Vaseline!" I covered my mouth in shock as we both snickered madly at the dirty deed. "Dude...his maid is, like, the biggest gossip _ever_ back home! When she goes to unpack his things and finds that stuff in his suitcase, the whole town will be whispering about it for months!"


	12. Chapter 12

It was another lazy afternoon at Mitchie's house the following weekend. Since I've found my definition of perfection in Mitchie, my full time boyfriend now, Bobby hardly ever sees me on the weekends anymore. Good thing too, because he would totally freak out if he knew the kinds of things that went on between me and Mitchie behind closed doors. All of those sordid sexual escapades that kept us so strongly bonded together. I was so helplessly addicted to the feel of his cool smooth skin touching mine. The taste of his flesh, the gentle frictionless texture of him...his never ending warmth as our bodies intertwined in the most lustful ways imaginable. If it had been all about sex, I'd still be drawn in by his every move, by the cute way he would give me his tender vocal appreciations for what I was doing to him, and definitely by the sweet nectar of his kiss. But it went so far beyond that. He was my boyfriend, my one and only, my guide in this crazy life, and nothing made me happier than seeing that sweet smile spread warmly across his lips. That meant everything to me, and I never intended to let him forget it, or take him for granted. Not for a second.

We laid on the floor of his basement watching a "Ren And Stimpy" cartoon marathon on Nickelodeon. It was going to be on for hours, and although we held hands and cuddled closely to one another the whole time it was one of those precious moments when we were just existing together as friends. That comfortable moment when you can laugh and play and joke around until the sun comes up but can switch back into 'lover' mode if you accidently looked up and noticed the shine in his grey eyes.

We watched as much of the marathon as we could possibly stand, and finally decided that we were too tired to make another hour. So he flicked off the TV, our only light in the room extinguished, and we got ready to go to sleep. I was all set to spend the night as usual, and we had set up little sofa cushions and pillows on the floor for us to lay on. We were covered in blankets and comforters, and even though we wanted to be close, we kept some distance between us in case one of his folks came wandering downstairs in the middle of an 'activity' that was for our eyes only. They never did though. They didn't necessarily care for me too much, and I was constantly paranoid about it, especially since the fiasco with Jeff at the theater. And yet, they seemed to like having me come over to the house on the weekends. I'm thinking the only reason his parents liked me visiting so much was because it would keep Mitchie out of their hair and they could forget they ever had a son. How could _anyone_ neglect Mitchie, even in the slightest? He was just too damn cute to overlook. Too intelligent to underestimate. Too loving and caring to walk away from. Well, if they couldn't understand that, who cared? It just meant that Mitchie had more love to give me, and that was exactly what I wanted.

We spent the next few hours, almost until 2 AM, still whispering to each other in the dark until we were both worn out. Our quieted giggles had died down little by little until we were too tired to keep from falling asleep. I must have passed out first, because any other time, when I was aware of Mitchie sleeping, I always rolled over on my side to watch him. I'd lay there, gawking at his awesome features and feeling the horniness rise inside of me. He looked so relaxed, so enchanting. I woke up in the middle of the night, and looked over to see Mitchie sleeping peacefully on his side of the room. It was just as majestic as it was every other time I sleepily fawned over the love of my life. Mitchie was cute to begin with, but now even more so. I stared at him admiringly, watching him lay there on his back, his soft stomach and chest rising casually with every breath he took. Even in his sleep his hair looked almost perfect, the soft light black and blue locks falling half way down his smooth cheeks, his gentle snore almost nonexistent. I wouldn't have noticed the sound if I hadn't been concentrating on him so hard. I tried to control myself, but just seeing him, lying there like that, his mouth slightly open, probably dreaming about me, made me roll closer to him. I looked into his peaceful face for a breathless moment...and then was emotionally pulled into him. I leaned forward, and kissed him gently on those delicate lips of his. I just wanted it to be a quick peck and that was it, but after one taste of him, one sweet brush with passion, I had to go back for more. I smooched him again and again, then finally I held my mouth over his, filling me with the explosive sexual need that only Mitchie could inspire. I was propped up on one elbow, and kissed him even more deeply as I hugged his sleeping body next to me. He was so soft, so unbelievably warm...and it was as though I could taste the cherry red color of his lips as my tongue reached out to lick them. Mitchie began to harden in his sleep, and eventually he began to stir in the cutest way, with a little 'kitten stretch' and a boyish moan. His natural instincts kicked in, and he woke up kissing me back.

"Mmmmmm..." He purred in a sexy sleepy deep growl. "Did I fall asleep on you?" "Either that, or I fell asleep on _you_. Who knows? I was too tired to remember."

"What time is it now?"

"About 4:30 in the morning."

"Oh..." He said smiling up at me. He was so gorgeous when he was waking up. He was still tired, his eyes still half closed in a passionate gaze, and he said, "So that's why you're on my side of the room, huh? The parents are asleep."

"Yeah. But we're not. Hehehe, how convenient is that?"

"Convenient for you, maybe. I happened to have been sleeping just fine."

"No" I said, "You just happened to be 'fine' when you sleep."

Mitchie smiled warmly at me and my whole world got brighter as I saw a reflection of what I was feeling in his stare. "Why don't you come here and join me for a while?" He said sexily, lifting the blanket and letting me scoot inside.

"I thought you'd never ask." His whole body wrapped itself around me as I connected to him, his sleek teenage frame feeling so fragile and steamy and hot under that comforter. The faint pulsing of his heartbeat against me just intensified the whole effect, and as I cuddled up against him even tighter than before, I felt my body completely melt into his affectionate embrace. We stayed like that comfortably for a while, not saying anything at all. Just listening to the silence, and feeling the heat pass between us. We later got back to our hushed whispers, and it was so cool to feel the small vibrations in his chest when he spoke. As usual, we talked about this and that, and we gossiped a bit about the kids in school. Just being there with him, whispering in the dark was just so awesome. I was listening sure enough, but I only kept him talking so that I could hear his raspy morning voice and feel the tingling vibrations in his chest over and over again. I couldn't get enough as I kept snuggling as close as I possibly could to him. I molded my body to his, wrapping my arms and legs around his slim figure, _still_ scooting ever closer to him, trying to get every inch of myself to be bathed in his glorious body heat. He felt so good. I wrapped my arms tighter around his hips and nuzzled my face into his neck, licking and kissing it tenderly. These loving moments went beyond sex. If sex satisfied my body, and his kiss flooded my heart....then this was for my soul. This was the intangible extra credit that made everything else worthwhile. I've never been so in love.

"Hehehe...cut it out, Jack. You know I'm ticklish." He grinned as I used my nose to dig deeper into the nape of his soft, warm neck.

"That's what makes it so fun." I let my lips slide over his skin, and his chest trembled as he tried to keep from laughing.

Then, he laughed a little bit out loud, and covered his mouth with his hands. "Shhhh....see? I told ya! I can't take it." But I didn't stop. His giggles were making me giggle even harder, and the more he tried to stop me, the more fun it was to lick at the little vulnerable pleasure points on his neck. I was having way too much fun to stop now.

He tried to push me off as I continued to force myself deeper into his neck past his medium length hair, and I felt him squirm and twitch continuously, giggling to himself and trying to control his urge to let go. I licked him harder, clinging tightly to his body, holding my breath so I wouldn't let my snickers get out of control. He started scooting away from me now, both of us wrestling in a playful little game, and a few of our held back giggles shot out of us a bit louder than we could control. He rolled right off of the cushions, and I knew that if he got to his feet I'd have to chase him. So I rolled over with him and moved until I was on top of him, grinding my hard on into his thigh. He was unable to speak anymore and just sighed quietly as I buried my face eagerly into his collarbone. I was pushing, trying to force him to be the first to laugh out loud, and the second he did, I started laughing too. I hugged him so tight that I could feel the very breath rush right out of him. I wormed a hand down to his boxers to feel a sizable lump with a wet spot at the end. Mitchie suddenly shivered uncontrollably and quickly kissed me on the lips to keep from moaning out loud. Our breathing got ragged, and I slid my fingers through the opening to get a grip on the length inside. His stomach muscles tightened, and he whispered in my ear.

"I love you so much Jack!" It was breathless, and he kissed me again and again, his breaths turning into soft whimpers as he got even harder in my hand. I was about to move on but Mitchie stopped me.

"Look...I'm kinda tired dude. I've gotta get some sleep, if you don't mind." He whispered all of the sudden.

It kind of struck me as odd. Mitchie could usually almost go three in a row without stopping. Hell, sometimes, I'd have to practically beat him off with a _stick_. But whatever he wanted from me, he could have. I loved him more than life itself, there's nothing I'd deny him. "Sure. Ok?" I whispered, placing another soft angel's kiss on his shoulder, and got up to return to my side of the room again.

I laid there in a silence for about five minutes, waiting to hear Mitchie's soft breathing so I could go back to watching him sleep, but he was breathing normally. He was still awake, I could tell, and when I rolled over to see him, he staring at the ceiling. He must have heard me roll over and figured out that I was awake. Because he then got up and walked over to me on the floor, his hardness sticking out of his boxers and swaying in front of him with every step. He knelt down next to me and said, "Look...I _really_ love you Jack...okay?"

"Sure..." I said, confused at what brought this on out of nowhere. He seemed concerned. "I know. Really, I do. And I love you too."

I guess that eased him up a little. "Okay..." He said. And he leaned over to give me the sweetest kiss I'd ever gotten from him. It was so gentle, almost like our first, and I wondered exactly what he was thinking when he gave it to me. "Thanks." Then, as quickly as he had come over, he walked back to his cushion and went to sleep.

We woke up with his mother shouting at us to clean up the basement. It was only a few loose blankets and cushions; it wasn't like we had been dumping out garbage cans of rotten food all over the place. But what could we do? They had company coming over. So, as we scrambled to tidy the place up a little, we happened to overhear something on the television. A little reminder that said, "Happy Valentine's Day, to one and all". Mitchie and I looked over at each other, and we suddenly realized that we had completely forgotten that it even was Valentine's Day. It was kind of strange, but we actually became a little uncomfortable with the whole idea for a moment.

"Uh...Happy Valentine's Day, Mitchie." I said nervously, my fingers awkwardly twitching a bit as I tried to fold up one of our blankets. He kind of looked back at me with the same confusion and repeated the greeting as shyly as I had.

"Same to you dude. Umm...yeah..." He paused for a sec, and then giggled bashfully to himself.

"So...like.....what do we do _now_?" I asked.

"I don't really know." He answered. "I mean, I've never really celebrated Valentine's Day before. Then again, I never had a...umm...'boyfriend' before." Mitchie said the words with such a shy grin that it made my heart feel heavy and weak. Just to hear him refer to me as his 'boyfriend' for the first time out loud, pleased me to no end and I felt even closer to him than I did before. If that was possible.

I walked over and hugged him from behind, placing a sweet kiss on his cheek. "Me either. I guess now's the time for us to start, huh?" I said, and gave him a squeeze. "I love you Mitchie...and I love being your boyfriend."

As my arms moved up to hang over his shoulders, I felt his fingers reach up and caress both of my hands, sighing while he enjoyed my loving embrace. Then, all of the sudden, out of the blue, he turned around and said, "Hey! Let's do something tonight!"

It kinda caught me off guard. "Something like what?"

"You said we should start celebrating, right? So....? Let's do it!" Mitchie 's whole face seemed to light up with the notion of it, and it made me smile. "You know, it's kind of my first Valentine's Day, and yours too...so why don't we make it special? Something we can really remember. I can get some cash together, we'll get dressed up and everything! It'll be great!"

The look of excitement in those beautiful grey eyes of his made me melt into oblivion and get caught up in him all over again. I watched his luscious lips move as he talked to me, and my eyes suddenly glazed over. I tried to fight it, but I had to move closer. I leaned in and kissed him in mid sentence. He kissed me back for a second or two before pushing me back, but I just kept going in for another, and another, I just couldn't help myself. He was just too damn cute to go more than a few seconds without a kiss! But Mitchie, giggling and moving back away from my onslaught, was way too excited to stop gabbing long enough to return my affections at that moment. I had to practically chase him around the room while he babbled about getting me flowers and candy. He was just being so sweet, it made me laugh.

Finally, I backed him up against a wall, and put my arms on either side of him, trapping him there. He looked for a quick way out, but his eyes met mine and he stopped struggling long enough to meet my loving stare. This intense wave of passion passed between us and I was too powerless to move, too magnetized to stand still. It was a battle that we were helpless to fight against, and our lips met softly against the wall. My arms dropped down to take a hold of his hands and I brought his arms up behind his head, locking them there. I kissed him deeply, his hands folded behind his silky locks of sweet smelling hair, and he lightly pushed his hips out to rub up against me. My emotions exploded and it felt so good to taste Mitchie that it hurt me to go on. The only way to make the pain worse...would be to stop. It was an erotic confusion that kept us searching for balance in our love life, and the treasure hunt couldn't have been more fun.

Mitchie was breathing hard, and really getting into it, but suddenly stopped himself in the middle of our loving kiss. "Mmmmmmm! Dude...'kiss'...wait...wait...hehehe...we'll have plenty of time for this later. Okay?"

I whimpered out loud in playful frustration, but Mitchie determinedly kept me at bay. How could I be mad at him? He was so cute, how could anybody be that cute and not die from it? He told me that there was a lot he had to do, and a short time to do it in. I had to get ready, he had to make phone calls and reservations and blah blah blah. I must admit, I laughed out loud at how worked up he was over this, but I was kind of excited myself. This was kind of like our one chance at a 'first date'. An official first date. I mean, talking and playing around on the bus and after school doesn't really count. We just kind of met by chance. And there were a whole bunch of people at his birthday party, so that didn't really count. And I won't even _bother_ going into the theater incident. But this? This was going to be special. Just the two of us with no one around to ruin our moment. I never thought Valentine's Day was for me, in fact...there was a time when I downright hated it, but I've never been this madly in love before. Even though I would have been just as happy laying on the floor with Mitchie all day in my underwear, wrapped around him and just enjoying his love for me, this whole idea of a date really got me going once I really thought about it. He refused to really tell me what he was planning, he just told me to dress in my 'Sunday best' and wait for him at my house. He was even going to ask his parents for a little loan for the night. Whatever he had planned, he must have put a lot of thought into making it memorable.

I hopped on the early bus to get home and waited impatiently for Mitchie's phone call. I was dressed in my best pair of slacks and button down shirt. It didn't cost much, and the shirt had a tiny hole in the sleeve, easily covered by rolling the cuffs back a bit, but it was the best I had. It was a good thing Bobby went to work, 'cause he'd _kill_ me if he saw me wearing my best clothes around the house. My fingers were fiddling and tapping on anything they could touch, and my feet were tapping with even more impatience, waiting for my lovely boyfriend to call me and set this magical night in motion. My heart was pounding and I was starting to breathe in short little huffs. I had this strange anxiety inside of me, butterflies fluttering endlessly in my stomach. It was as if I had never been with Mitchie before. Like we had never been together, like the first time, only better because this time I could _expect_ a happy ending. Why was I so nervous? What was wrong with me? Geez, I was actually _fidgeting_ here!

My anxiety came to a head all at once as the phone rang across the room. I sprang to my feet and nearly broke my neck trying to get to that phone. I tripped, stumbled, and bounced my way over to the receiver and picked it up, hearing Mitchie giggling heartily on the other end. "First ring? Kinda anxious aren't we?" He said.

"Nah...not really." I lied, through panted breaths, no less. "So when are you coming over?" I asked.

"I'm already here." He said mischeviously, and sure enough, I ran to look out the window to see Mitchie dressed in navy blue slacks, and a preppy sweater, talking to me on a cell phone. His hair was beyond perfect, his smile was even brighter than the sun itself, and he was looking at me in the window with eyes that shined with undeniable love. Behind him...sat the biggest black limo I had ever seen! I'd never been in a limo before. I hung up the phone, screamed out loud, and raced out to the car top speed. I think Mitchie was expecting a hug, but I ran right past him to look in the tinted windows of the limo, marveling at the luxurious interior. Mitchie flashed me a weird grin and opened the door for me. "Your chariot awaits, my love." He said in his cheesiest Cary Grant imitation, and I dived into the back seat. I had never seen so much room in a car before! There was a _TV_ in it! And a little fridge! And a sun roof! I was excited to be with Mitchie too, but the whole new experience of this thing was just so overwhelming. Mitchie just sat back and watched quietly as I ran my hands all over the material and felt every inch of the limo from the inside. Shouting like a little boy with a new toy everytime I saw something that I thought was 'awesome'. Mitchie had this funny crooked smile on his face the whole time, and after five minutes of exploring, I realized that he was staring and silently laughing at me. I sat back and blushed a little, embarrassed at my little display of amazement.

"Aww, dude, I'm sorry. Hehehe...I'm being a huge dork, aren't I?"

"No no no...it's okay Jack. I like making you happy. I just didn't expect it to be quite so easy, that's all." He snickered. "You know, you're so cute when you're blushing." He said as he began to lean forward slowly. But my excitement got the best of me, and I grabbed him by the shoulders, suddenly pulling him on top of me. I began kissing him deeply and hugging his slim wiry frame against me tightly. I had caught him by surprise and it had only been a couple of seconds before the front window of the limo rolled down and I heard a female's voice clear her throat.

"Ahem...I believe you said you were going to keep it 'PG' tonight, Mitchie? This is _clearly_ pushing you to an R rating." She said. Mitchie smiled as he crawled off of me, turning bright red and straightening his clothes. I didn't even think about there being a driver to this giant thing. I straightened up instantly, scared to death that our 'cover' had been blown, and whispered an almost silent hello. "Hello yourself, Jack." She replied. The lady had short red brown hair with bright orange streaks in it. She had on really dark lipstick and some eye make up. She was wearing a limo driver's uniform. It took me a moment to recognize her.

Mitchie still had a bashful grin on his face and he said, "Um...Jack, you remember Kris. She's gonna be taking us around town tonight." I looked over at him a little disappointed, but he then whispered to me, "Don't worry...she _knows_. She's bisexual and she says we should have fun." Then he saw the bulge in the front of my pants, and added, "But not _too_ much fun!" Hearing those words still made me feel a little uneasy, but knowing that our 'chaperone' for the night was in on our little secret eased the tension a bit.

"Behave yourself, Mitchie. I mean it. Your parents would murder me if they knew I was doing this." She said with a smile. Mitchie grinned at me warmly and held my hand in his tender grip. I felt chills go up my spine and as soon as she was convinced that we were going to keep our hands off of each other, the black window went back up and she was blocked from our view. The second the window reached the top, Mitchie swiftly moved my hand into his lap and rubbed it against his semi hard manhood.

"Dude!" I whispered loudly, trying to hold back the giggles.

Mitchie smiled at me again, giggling happily, and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. "This is _really_ gonna be special, Jack. We're gonna have fun tonight, I promise." Then, instead of us making out like bandits like we always did, we just sat back and enjoyed the ride. It was so beautiful, the two of us, all dressed up, in a limo whisking me away to God knows where...it was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me before. Ever.

The limo traveled on, and Mitchie never divulged a single detail about what was going to happen that night. He just kept smiling and saying "You'll see." That only made me more anxious, and I was already trembling inside. The limo stopped at a fancy Italian restaurant downtown and we went in to be seated. Kris stayed in the car, leaving us to our romantic dinner. I think the host was expecting a much older couple to be filling this reservation, we could tell by the look on his face. And once we sat down, we snickered a bit at the other looks we got. Even from the waiter. It was like he was expecting us to order hamburgers and fries or something. But not tonight. Tonight we were having _date_ food. Lasagna, garlic rolls, penne pasta in marinara, the works. Mitchie and I didn't talk much during dinner. We didn't have a whole lot to say, believe it or not. We spent most of dinner grinning at each other from across the table and staring longingly into each other's eyes. Mitchie was always the first to look away though, it was as though he was getting just as hot as I was and wanted to hold back. How could I have gotten so lucky? This whole night, this whole relationship really, seemed like a dream to me. I couldn't believe how good he made me feel. In his eyes I was beautiful, funny, smart...he made me feel like I could do anything, and I only hoped I was able to give him just a fraction of that joy back.

At one point, while tapping his feet energetically from being just plain giddy over the situation, he accidently kicked me under the table. It was a gentle kick, but I overdid it anyway. "Um, okay.....OW! Hehehehe!"

"I'm sorry, hehhe!"

"You're _kicking_ me now? Geez!"

"Oh quit being a baby and eat your food!" Mitchie laughed. Then...I retaliated by giving him a playful kick of my own. "Ow, you did that one on purpose!"

"Hehehe, so?" I said. The two of us suddenly looked at each other and declared the area beneath the table as the battlefield of our choosing. It only took a smile from him to begin combat, and we snickered wildly as we dueled it out under the table, kicking and bouncing like a couple of toddlers. We didn't even notice the waiter standing at the end of the table with the check. We stopped immediately and tried to regain our composure as Mitchie handed him a credit card and he took it away. He spun around and we burst into laughter once again. At this point, sex had just about left my mind. I was just having too much fun.

The next trip was out to the miniature golf ranch for a night game. Kris let us out of the limo and once again said she'd meet us later, driving off to leave us alone again. She was really being cool about this whole evening, and it felt good to know that she understood. Mitchie and I rented some golf equipment and basically threw our score sheets in the trash. Who needed them? The funny thing was, the place was full of couples. 'Traditional' couples. You know, man, woman, heterosexual relations, white picket fence? But this time, despite my supposed _defect_ in being attracted to other boys...I felt like one of them. I felt just as happy and fulfilled as they were. Maybe even more so. There's absolutely no way to explain how that feels. To just be.....'normal', without feeling sick and worthless and alone. It was beautiful. Euphoric, even.

We playfully putted from one end of that wacky place to another, cheating every time we got a chance. I don't think I had ever laughed so hard! We took pictures next to the mechanical clowns and gorillas and gangsters that populated the planned out obstacle courses of the park. People must have thought we were crazy, but probably just wrote it off as 'boys being boys'. So they didn't bother us, and we just kept cheating. We were getting worse and worse, I'm surprised we didn't break something and have to go running out of the place! At one point Mitchie even picked up the ball and literally _threw_ it through the lion's mouth, laughing hysterically.

"You cheater! That's not legal!" I grinned, amazed at what he had just done.

"Like you haven't! We've been cheating all night!"

"Yeah well that's just going too far! I mean...I didn't actually touch the ball!"

"I'll give ya some balls to touch!" The two of us had stomach cramps by the time we were done arguing it out, and were falling all over each other from laughing so much. It was like being drunk.

"Awww shut up. Here!" He said, and he playfully threw my golf ball too! "Happy now?" He giggled.

I suddenly got a serious vibe and took a step closer to him, "Happier than you'll ever know." I looked into his soft grey eyes and almost teared up, feeling the words get choked up in the back of my throat. The emotion washed over me and it became so strong that it almost made it hard to breathe. Still, I was compelled to tell him how I felt. "Thank you, Mitchie....this...this couldn't be more perfect."

Mitchie was starting to tear up too, captured by the love that was pouring out of my heart so uncontrollably. But through the emotional moment, he fought to shake it off and tried to put a somewhat 'everyday' smile on his face. "Come on...'sniff'...finish up this hole. I've got another surprise for ya."

"What is it?"

"A surprise! Duh!"

"Tell me!"

"Later. Now finish up." He said. So I walked over to where my ball was on the green stuff, picked it up, and slam dunked it in the hole, falling to the ground and cheering out loud. "Game over." I said.

"You're nuts, Jack!" He grinned.

"What about my nuts?"

"Shut up! Let's just turn this stuff in before they decide to boot us outta here! Besides...we've got more 'celebrating' to do, cutie." Mitchie's beauty caught me head on and refused to let me go. There would sometimes be these overwhelming moments, when you would look at him and I'd get sucked in by him. It's like being filled up with electricity, falling hopelessly in love over and over again like a ten year old with a crush. I couldn't make sense of it, but I never needed to. Analyzing it seemed silly. It was sweeping me away much too fast to try to figure it out. It was time for me to just enjoy the ride.

When we got back out to the parking lot, I noticed that the limo wasn't there. I asked Mitchie if maybe he had to call her or something, and he said, "Nope. Actually, she's not meeting us here. You see that bridge over there?"

I looked and saw a bridge way off in the distance. It looked like it was almost a mile and a half away. "Yeah?"

"Well....Kris is waiting for us on that bridge."

"How are we supposed to get there?"

"I figured maybe we'd walk...you know...along the river." Mitchie said, blushing at the thought. I think even he thought he was being a bit mushy at this point. His silky hair fell over his eyes as he looked down at the ground, his toe digging a small hole in the sand. I know I've said it a billion times by now...but he was so damn cute when he wanted to be.

I didn't say a word, I just gently took a hold of his hand and the two of us took a moonlit walk along the river, surrounded by the sounds of the night and experiencing the joys of love at its finest. We walked and talked about little things that glided from one topic to another without much point. And every time I started to walk a little faster, Mitchie would hold my hand tighter and tell me to slow down, and that we had plenty of time. In my heart I knew that we had forever, because something this strong never dies. I loved him so much.

Then, at one point, Mitchie stopped me and looked me in the eyes. It was a dark part of the path underneath a tree, and he asked, "Jack....? Are you enjoying this as much as I am?"

I leaned forward to kiss him delicately on the lips. "What do _you_ think?"

But he was serious. "No, don't do that. Really...are you having fun?" The look in his eyes was so fragile. It was almost as if he expected me to say no. Was he kidding me?

"Mitchie, this is possibly one of the best nights of my life. Just being with you is more love and joy that I can bare. I want to cry every minute, and the only thing that keeps me from bursting is your kiss." I said, running my fingers through his soft dark hair, kissing him sensually once again. "You mean everything to me. I love you. And I can't thank you enough for making this night so incredible for me. I'll never ever forget it."

Mitchie kissed me again, deeper this time, his tongue reaching out for mine. "Good. I'm glad." He smiled. Looking down, I was hard as a rock, and said...

"So," Looking over at the bushes behind him, "exactly how long is Kris gonna wait for us on that bridge?"

Mitchie could see the look in my eyes, and looked back over at the grass behind him. "Dude...I am not having sex in the bushes!" He grinned.

"C'mon....five minutes?" I pleaded.

"NO! You're even more perverted than I thought." He bit his bottom lip to hold back his smile. "Hehehe! That comes later. Right now, just keep your mind focused on my heart and your hands off of my ass. Got it?"

"How long is that plan gonna last?" I asked.

He took my hand and brought it back to his bulge, swiftly hardening, the fleshy tube so tempting as it touched the back of my hand. Then he smiled and said, "Probably not long. But I'll see how long I can hold out." I left my hand there, rubbing him through his pants and getting him just as hot and bothered as I was. But he used restraint, and stepped away from my caress. He kissed me briefly on the lips and then led me by the hand to start walking towards the bridge again. He had me so hypnotized. I'm sure he knew that.

All too soon we reached the bridge in the distance and climbed up the hill to the road. Sure enough, Kris was leaning on the hood of the limo having a smoke. Mitchie, always the gentleman, opened the door for me and let me in. Then he turned to Kris and said, "Did you get it?"

She sighed and a grin broke out on her face. She reached in the front seat and pulled out something in a paper bag. "Yeah, I got it. Anything for my baby."

"Cool! You got the big bottle from the store I asked you about?"

"I got you a half bottle! And if you breathe a word of this to anybody, I swear..."

Mitchie jumped up with a squeal and grabbed the bag, placing a kiss on her cheek excitedly before she had a chance to finish. "Thanks Kris! You're the best!"

She yelled out at us, "You know that this officially makes you a _deliquent_ now, don't ya?" Then she mumbled, "....and I'm an accomplice. Great. Just great."

Mitchie hopped his cute little ass in the back seat with me and I saw Kris laugh to herself at our youthful enthusiasm. Then she closed the door and walked back around to the front to finish her smoke and give us some privacy. Mitchie reached in the bag and pulled out a small bottle of champagne. This was just to cool! He handed me a 'chilled' glass from the mini-fridge and awkwardly filled it to the very rim with a taste of the bubbly. We clinked our glasses, just like they do in the movies, and gulped it down like it was grape soda. It was my first experience with alcohol, and I didn't see what all the fuss was about. It just tasted like a slightly bitter version of 7-up and lemonade to me. Mitchie poured us another glass, and another, and another, until the bottle was empty. It was a small bottle, but it was more than enough to get us giggling like madmen after a couple of minutes. We rolled around and wrestled in the back of the limo playfully, and when Kris heard our uncontrollable laughter, she figured the bottle was gone. She took that as her cue and handed us some mints to hide the smell of champagne on our breaths, just in case.

"Are you two ok back here?" She asked.

But Mitchie and I couldn't stop giggling long enough to answer. We didn't even know what was funny at this point. The mere fact that we wanted to laugh for no reason was funny enough. Finally, Mitchie said, "Hehehe, yeah. We're...we're fine. Hahaha!" And he leaned over to kiss me sloppily on the cheek, making me laugh even harder.

"Boys," She sighed, shaking her head. "Alright, home we go, playboy."

Then she got back in the driver's seat and drove us all the way back to Mitchie's house. The giggles wore off after about 20 minutes, but that lovely feeling in my heart was stronger than ever. It was so sweet.

We both stepped out of the car in front of the door, and said goodbye. "It was nice seeing you Jack, you're a good kid. Mitchie...take it easy alright? And watch that family of yours. Don't let 'em spoil you kid. You got heart, remember that." She said.

Mitchie reached in through the window and gave Kris the biggest, most affectionate hug imaginable. "Thanks Kris...I couldn't have done any of this without you. Thanks for making tonight so beautiful. I owe you one."

"Tell ya what....you keep this between us and I'll consider us even. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Good." She looked over at me and smiled sweetly back at Mitchie. "Don't worry, I'm leaving. Enjoy the rest of your 'evening'..._Romeo_." She then drove off in our one night carriage, honking the horn gleefully as she turned the corner. I felt like I had just lived through my first actual fairy tale, and life couldn't possibly get any better than this.

Mitchie and I had most of our senses back, but the champagne was still giving us that jittery feeling in our stomachs that kept us giggling. We noticed the house was dark, and I asked where his parents were. He replied, "That's the best part, hon...holiday cocktail party. The house is all ours."

I looked over at him. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Nope. My dad always says, 'Son, it's just considered _rude_ to leave a cocktail party before 11:00 PM.'" He said in his best, deep Dad voice. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was only 9:45. We had plenty of time left. Mitchie wrapped his arms lovingly around my waist, and stared me in the eyes for a second before kissing me deeply on the lips. Then he pulled back and he looked really nervous, like he had something on his mind. "I have...just _one_ more surprise for you. K?" He led me into the house, and back down to the basement, sitting me down on the couch. He looked really weird all of the sudden, and he was actually shaking. He paused and looked down at me for a few more seconds, like he wanted to move but couldn't find the courage to.

"Mitchie? Is something wrong?" I asked.

He looked down at me and smiled sweetly, "No...nothing's wrong." He eased up a little, and regained some of his confidence. He bent down to give me a quick kiss and then he got up to go over to the cabinet. He pulled out a small red box with a bow on it and handed it to me.

"Aww dude, you don't have to do this. You've done so much for me already tonight..."

"Yes I do. I _want_ this...really. I was scared at first, but I've never felt better about it than I do tonight."

"...but...I didn't get you anything."

"Seeing you smile tonight was the best gift you could've possibly given me Jack. Just...being absorbed into your presence, kissing you, holding you...it's all I could ever want." He said, his hand touching the side of my cheek tenderly. "Now quit stalling and open it. Please?" Mitchie's pretty grey eyes shined brightly in anticipation, and after a short pause I started to unwrap the package. He turned his back to me and seemed to be a little nervous again, but he really wanted me to have this, so I unwrapped it all the way.

I was a little confused at first. I didn't know if it was supposed to be symbolic or what, but suddenly....the meaning of it hit me. Suddenly I knew exactly what he was saying with this gift, and it brought me to 'attention' instantly. Inside the box...was a small jar of Vaseline.

"Mitchie....I..."

"I was afraid that it would hurt. That I wouldn't like it and that if I didn't let you do it again you would look at me differently. I thought you might even hate me. But after tonight, after everything we've been through together, I trust you. I trust you completely....and I love you." Mitchie turned to meet my eyes and he walked over to me. "Jack, I've never loved anybody this much. It really scares me sometimes. But tonight I want to experience every possible way of loving you that I can. I want to give myself to you...all the way."

"Mitchie...you don't have to do this."

"I know. And I know that you understand. That's why I love you so much. So I decided that if I was ever going to do it, tonight would be the night. That's how special you are to me."

There was no way to keep tears from falling from my eyes, and once I started, Mitchie followed suit. He came down and kissed me deeply on the lips as I leaned back against the couch. Mitchie's delicious tongue kissing sent me soaring to cloud 9, enraptured with his amazing body, his incredible scent, his emotional heart. And the deeper we kissed, the more we cried. It was the only way our feelings could express themselves on the outside. Mitchie's hand moved slowly down to my soft belly, and then further down to rub my growing erection through my slacks. He started to pull his sweater over his head and I unbuttoned my shirt. We disrobed slowly, erotically, one article at a time, until we were both completely naked. Tonight had been so beautiful, so wonderful; I didn't even feel like I deserved it, like _anyone_ did. But the fact that Mitchie chose me above all the rich guys with the fancy cars, and the big houses, and the big bank accounts, meant more to me than anything. I've never been more in love.

Mitchie began to tongue and kiss my right nipple while working my swollen member with his hand. His warm fingers moved softly over the sensitive head on every upstroke, and it felt like I was ready to blow already. Well what did you expect; the whole night had basically been the ultimate lesson in foreplay. Mitchie moved back up to kiss my lips once again, his smooth skin sliding across my own, and we started grinding into each other rhythmically, my hands resting comfortably on his smooth backside. Then, when he felt he was ready, Mitchie reached behind him and took one of my hands, and began guiding it down to his soft supple ass. Once again, I was fascinated with its shape, its tender meat turning to putty in my hands. The curve of it, the smooth as silk texture of it, the spongy squeeze of it in my hands. He had the most perfect cheeks on Earth, and it made my hardness throb with even more excitement. Mitchie felt my fingers once again find his crack and slide up and down slowly until they drifted back to the tight hole hidden playfully within. I ran my fingers over the slightly wrinkled flesh of his rosebud and he tensed for a second, still a bit afraid of what might happen. I stopped and started to move my hand back up to his shoulders to save him from the worry of doing anything he didn't want to do. But, only moments later, he used his hands to move it back down again, signaling me that he was ready. He guided my fingers to the hole and our kissing became stronger as my fingertips played with the tight opening. We were breathing hard and I started to gasp as my finger teased his pink hole by running small circles around it. He was really beginning to get turned on and actually started moaning out loud in my ear as he covered me with his body.

"Mmmm...ohhh...yeah...do it...do it Jack...do it..." And without being able to hold back any more, my middle finger rose up to his mouth, allowing him to get it wet and suck it sexily for a few minutes before I brought it back down to his ass cheeks again. Then...cautious but curious...I slowly pushed forward and entered his tight little ring. His hole seemed SO small! With just one finger, he was clamping down on it, and it seemed like his whole body twisted around my single digit in the most erotic way. My heart stopped beating from the feel of it...it was amazing! We both had to pause for a second to keep from cumming right then and there. It was an overwhelming 'first time' experience for the both of us. Any movement at all would have set me off like never before. Still...I wanted to go easy, and it took a little while before we started moving again, but that first penetration with my finger was enough to drive any man over the edge. His tunnel was so wet and warm, so soft and ready, and that was just with a _finger_. I can't imagine what it's gonna feel like when the most sensitive and sexually charged part of my entire, hormone crazy, teenage body gets lodged in there! I'm probably going to die on the spot.

Mitchie reached down and grabbed the jar of Vaseline. Believe me, hearing him open it with a pop was enough to make me moan in pleasure. He moved down and took my inches into his warm mouth, getting in a few good sucks before coating it with the slippery substance. He had better hurry if he wants this to happen, I don't know how much more I could stand. I'd shoot without warning, without touching myself, at this point. He was slowly masturbating me as he applied the greasy Vaseline to my leaking shaft, staring into my eyes with the sexiest gaze I had ever seen from him. Then he switched places with me, him on his knees facing the couch, and me right behind him.

He bent over putting his face on the cushion, and he reached back with both his hands to pull his amazingly tight cleft open for me. His ass was so gorgeous! Just as cute as the rest of him, with the sweetest little buttercup cheeks and tiny dimples in each side. I moved into position, unable to resist the urge to knead the soft globes in front of me. I felt the muscles in my hard on tighten up with the mere touch of him, but before trying anything I whispered in his ear, "Let me know if I hurt you. Ok? I don't ever want to hurt you."

Mitchie nodded, and with a little jitter in my stomach, and a shaky hand, I grabbed my length up by the head and placed it at the inviting opening of his hole. He seemed like he was ready, and I pushed forward ever so slightly. The feeling of having my tip at the opening alone was enough to make me insane, but pushing in was even _more_ erotic. There was a little resistance, then a lot, but Mitchie never told me to stop, he wanted this more than anything. I didn't think his hole would ever fit me, and it scared me every time I heard him gasp for air, or suddenly clamp down involuntarily. I hope I wasn't hurting him. I'd stop th second he felt uncomfortable. But with his hand, he reached back and urged me to slide further, telling me to just take it slow. I was breathless. And I had to hold my erection to keep it from bending as it tried to enter such an airtight passage. It definitely took a few minutes of pushing and pulling, sliding and whispering, but suddenly, as if by magic, Mitchie sighed and his cavity opened wide to accept me. I slid in, inch by inch, his hot insides pulsing with every beat of his heart, his moist canal massaging my stiff member from all sides, his ring tightening and relaxing rhythmically around my shaft as I ventured deeper into my lover. It was like pushing into warm jello, so real, so alive inside. Finally, I was all the way in, and I felt my pubic hairs resting on his flawless cheeks.

"I'm in. My God, I'm really in." I whispered. Mitchie seemed to be relaxing even more as I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "You ok?" I asked again.

"Yeah...wow..." He sighed. "I feel kinda full back there, big boy." He teased.

"Hehehe, _don't_ make me laugh!" I told him, already on the edge of orgasm. Then...after a few seconds of getting used to this indescribable new sensation, I asked him, "Ready?"

"Yeah...I'm ready, baby. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Go slow....ok?"

"I will. Promise." I said, and I pulled out of his love slowly. Every inch of me being tingled and gripped by his insides as it slid back into the cool air, only to have me slowly push it back in again. This time, the feeling of sliding into him was hotter and more mindblowing than before. Mitchie whimpered as I buried myself again, and I could feel his tunnel suck hungrily at me while I tried to keep from floating away. His love my only anchor. We began to get into a rhythm, in and out, each stroke was magic, and the whole time I kept asking him if he was ok. Every time, he nodded his head, and began to slowly push back to meet my thrusts. After a few minutes, Mitchie was moaning loudly and I couldn't help but join him. I leaned forward to rest my chest on his back, folding my arms around his tender stomach. I let them roam over his silky skin, and rubbed them back and forth over him as we made love. I ran my hands up to his nipples and glided back and forth across his smooth chest. My other hand found its way to his hardness and began to stroke it in time with my thrusts. I kissed the back of his neck and he gasped in pleasure, pushing back on me even harder. I sucked at the tender flesh there as he rocked back and forth with me, pushing and pulling in a slow passionate grind. His sexy grunts and whimpers were turning me on beyond comparison, and the taste of him was like sweetened ambrosia. I kissed him more feverishly on his neck and shoulders as I began to speed up. My thrusts became harder, my hand on his stiff member moved faster, and my kisses turned into gentle nibbles and bites. We were both moaning, our young teen bodies glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, Mitchie's wisps of hair sticking to his forehead as he looked back at me with love in his eyes. My hips were taking on a rhythm all their own, as if they knew what to do all along, and I could feel Mitchie gyrating his hips, gently using his inner walls to squeeze and suckle at me to enhance my pleasure. I never thought this would be so wild!

I was about to reach my limit. All the time we had spent together flashed through my mind, every kiss, every touch, every tear that had been shed between us...it had all been leading up to this one magical moment, and I couldn't hold it back much longer. Mitchie was whimpering in desperation, almost howling, and he was pushing back against me as hard as he could. Then, I felt him pulse and throb in my hand as he erupted in orgasmic bliss. I actually heard the sound of his hot juices spraying the floor, shooting out of him harder than it ever had before. At the same time, his ass closed up tightly around my shaft, the stretched hole seemingly returning to that tiny pinhole that had trapped my finger in it only moments before, and his orgasm was immediately delivered to me. I literally felt Mitchie's orgasm from the _inside_ as his body flexed and spasmed, forcing his hot wet tunnel to swish and swirl and constrict around my hardness until I couldn't take it anymore! Breathlessly, paralyzed, unable to stop the oncoming splash...I felt my stomach muscles contract and I shouted out loud as I shot my seed deep into Mitchie's warmth. I had to practically fight just to keep my balance, my hips pushed out, my arms holding on for dear life as my whole being, heart and soul, came gushing out of me with an electric rush that I couldn't contain or control. It was by far the most explosive climax I had ever had in my entire life, and I was sharing it with Mitchie...my 'boyfriend'. My first true love.

I fell back on the floor, breathing hard and giggling to myself in disbelief of how good that felt. "OH...oh wow...oh wow..." I panted. Mitchie slowly let me slip out of him, my tip so sensitive that it was almost _sore_. He turned around and laid down on top of me on the floor, where we just sat in silence until we could breathe again. With my softening inches being so charged and tingly, feeling his touch sent tiny earthquakes throughout my entire body. He kissed me and I ran my fingers through his dampened hair, my body still shaking and twitching with a delight that it had never known until this very moment.

"That was awesome, Jack! Wow...I never thought it could be that good. That was just..mmmm...really hot. We're _definitely_ doing it again sometime." He said, his sexy smile brightening my life more and more every second.

"...That was...it was...oh man.." I said, still trying to put it into words. Mitchie laughed at me, his body trembling with every chuckle as he laid on top of me, and he kissed me on the lips to shut me up. We still had a whole 45 minutes to an hour before his parents came home, but we didn't use it to have sex again like we usually did. Instead we just laid there on the floor, staring at the walls, talking about our love, reliving our special night together from beginning to end with a smile. Well, looks like the plan worked...that was definitely a night I'd never forget.

I'd never leave his side, no matter what obstacle life threw at me. And I knew that night that I'd stay here with him forever, as long as he'd have me.


	13. Chapter 13

As I look over at Mitchie sitting next to me on the bus every morning, the urge to kiss him passionately on the lips never leaves me. In fact, it grows stronger. How a love like this can only continue to increase in its intensity without any end in sight is a complete mystery to me. There's an addictive sparkle in his eye that seductively pulls me in so close that I'm almost kissing him on the lips before I even realize that I'm leaning forward. I'm enchanted by his every heart lifting word. He talks to me the entire way there, and the entire way back, his voice that wonderful pitch of early teen excitement. About this and that and every topic under the sun in between, and I know I'm talking back to him the whole time, but it doesn't even seem like me. I feel as though I'm watching myself have this foreign conversation with the most beautiful boy on Earth from the outside. Because all I can see when I look at him is never ending love. It takes over all of my senses and lulls me into a deep dreamy trance that I can't break out of, nor do I want to. I'm never really paying attention to what he's talking about, and yet, for some reason, I absorb every word. I'm almost self conscious about it, wondering if I could possibly make him feel the same way about me too. Or even _close_. It seems like there's no way for me to EVER evoke this kind of emotion from another person with the little gifts that I have to offer him. But it's those times, those precious little moments, when Mitchie realizes that I'm staring, when he's silent, and returns my passionate gaze with a heart melting stare of his own...that makes me feel like I'm worth it. Worth his time, worth his love, worth his attention. It's then that I know the answer, and blush furiously in response. How can a love so perfect, be so effortless?

I always hated seeing him get off the bus in the afternoons, because I'd be alone the rest of the way home. Every tick of the clock without him next to me was just meaningless sometimes. I wouldn't call it depression so much, just an eternal longing to be near him again. I'd almost be willing to drop out of school just for the chance to spend every day by his side. Sorry, but I guess even in my head I tend to gush over him quite a bit. It's hard to imagine what my mind would do with itself if it wasn't filled with thoughts of the black and blue waves of his soft flowing hair. Or the beauty of his big grey eyes. Or the sleek curves of his hips, the texture of his tender lips, the smooth silky feel of his skin as it brushed up against mine. Even a handshake was enough to get me erect. There I go again...it's a good thing I don't say these things out loud. The men in white would have surely locked me up and thrown away the key by now.

I got home to see a note from Bobby saying he would be working for somebody tonight, and it was just as well. I was being all high and dreamy anyway and I really didn't want him to start asking why. Geez, I had gotten exceptionally bad since our Valentine's day date. But that was so memorable, so awesomely incredible, so meaningful to me in every way, that my infatuated haze was more than justified. I grabbed some of the 'diner food' Bobby brought home the night before and warmed it up in the oven. I sat in front of the TV, and tried to focus on whatever brain dead sitcom happened to be on at the time. But it didn't work. My heart was bursting...overflowing with a joy that I just couldn't explain. I kept looking over at the phone, wondering what Mitchie was doing at that exact moment. Was he thinking about me? I wonder if I should call. Nah, he just saw me not more than a half hour ago, don't want him to think I'm getting weird or 'clingy' or anything. So I tried once again to watch TV, flipping from channel to channel, hoping to find some wacky movie that would keep me occupied until it was time for me to go to sleep. Then sleep would keep my mind clear until morning, and by that time I wouldn't have long until I got the chance to see Mitchie again. But again, nothing helped. I looked over at the phone again and again, the anticipation making my fingers twitch and my heart beat abnormally fast. What the heck was the matter with me? I mean no two people could be together all the time, right? It was impossible. I imagine we'd get sick of each other eventually. But something deep down inside made me want to die trying to do just that, be near him at all times, begging for more and more of his affection until I was saturated with it. Finally, without an _ounce_ more of will power left in my body, I gave in to temptation and grabbed the phone. But before I could pick up the receiver, it rang.

"Hello?" I said.

"Um...hey...hehehe." It was Mitchie! I think he was a bit surprised that I picked it up so fast, and he sounded kind of bashful at first.

" Mitchie...wow...hi..."

"I know I just talked to you and all...and I don't wanna seem weird or anything...but...sigh, I was thinking about you and...well I just figured..." As those words left his mouth, I got weak in the knees and slid off of the couch onto the carpet. I was breathless, my heart beating so hard that it literally tickled me into a fit of silent giggles. He was thinking about me...me! Oh God this was so strange. This feeling of...of...uncontrollable..._'something'_ that just made me want to tear up and just explode from the sheer love building up inside. The heavy feeling in my chest was almost painful as he continued to talk to me, and whenever I spoke to him, I had to try hard to control the trembling in my stomach so it wouldn't come out in my voice. He was actually a bit shaky himself on the phone, like maybe he felt the same way, and that only made it worse. My insides had literally turned to jell-o, and I couldn't stop wiggling on the floor. His voice was just so heavenly, a lustful haze that was always present, but unintended. He was so amazing and sexually gifted that he simply couldn't contain it, not even in the most mundane of conversations. He kept me up half the night talking, and when it was time to go, we talked for a half hour more. An entire half hour of goodbyes. It doesn't get any better than this.

The next day I woke up anxious for another taste of my sweet Mitchie. Funny how all I have to do is open my eyes, and he's the first thing that hits me in the morning, and the last thing to hit me at night. Count the dreams I have about him in between, and you've got all day Mitchie. God, I'm so cheesy sometimes! I prepared myself for school and went down for breakfast. Bobby was making me some eggs and toast, and smiled at me as soon as I walked into the kitchen. I was surprised to see him up so early, he usually sleeps all day from working so late. I looked into his eyes and saw the red bloodshot specs look back at me. If he was pretending not to be comatose from lack of sleep...he wasn't very good at it.

"Hey kid. Sleep well?" He said, scooping the eggs out of the pan onto a plate for me to eat. I sat down and he sat across from me, eating some weird snack size granola bar thing, and no matter how glad I was to have a hot breakfast instead of cereal, I couldn't help but get over how strange it was for him to be up at this time of morning.

"Thanks Bobby. Yeah, I slept fine. I guess what I'm really wondering is what are _you_ doing up this early? Afraid you'll miss your soaps?" I smiled.

"Har dee har, smart guy. Actually your school called and the bus isn't coming today because of some kind of difficulties. So that means I'm driving you to school today."

I know it was a great gesture and all, him taking me to school, but...not in our car! Oh man...the crap mobile? An old rusty piece of shit that should have been shot and put out of it's misery back in 1987...he was going to take me to school in that? Maybe some of the snobbish attitudes of the other school kids was rubbing off on me or something, but they already made fun of me as it was. The last thing I needed to do was give them a reason to get worse. I tried not to show my disappointment, let me rephrase that...fear...of going to school with him in the putt-putt machine, but I think he saw it in my eyes anyway.

"Listen Jack, you can't just stay home from school..."

"I know Bobby, I know. It's no problem. Really. I just...." I started to say it, but he was doing the best he could with what he had, and I shouldn't complain. Some people wouldn't. "It's ok. Thanks." I said, and went back to eating my breakfast. I could only hope that I could somehow convince him to drop me off a few blocks away and let me walk to school from there. Without hurting his feelings, that is.

He was kind of quiet after that, and I was sure that he knew exactly what was on my mind. "Okay...well...just let me know when you're ready. Okay?" he said. And I saw him nibbling away on his granola bar, the bags under his eyes getting heavier by the second, and I felt bad for eating a hot meal in front of him. So I ate one piece of toast and half of my eggs and then wiped my mouth clean.

"Thanks Bobby, that was good. I'm really not hungry though if you want the rest." And I got up from the table before she said anything. Good old Bobby, always doing for me before he could do for himself. It was about time I returned the favor, I try to every once in a while. I pushed the plate forward a bit and gave him a hug as I went to go get my book bag. "I don't mind the ride, but one of these days, I'll be rich, and I'll buy you a car for every day of the week. Brand new, all you have to do is pick out the color." I grinned.

"You do that, buddy." He smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in his voice. I didn't get it. Didn't he understand that I was happy with everything that we had? It wasn't much, sure. But I had a roof over my head, food in my belly, a loving brother, and a wonderful boyfriend. Even had a way above average sex life for a kid my age, if I do say so myself. Hehehe! So I always had something to be thankful for. He just pushed too hard to give me so much, when all I needed was him. Brothers...I doubt I'll ever understand. We got our stuff together and started up our rusted car for the long drive. Was it me, or did the muffler sound even louder than usual? The back window had been broken into a while back, and we had a giant plastic flap that made the loudest 'frap frap frap' sound while we were driving. And on top of everything else, the brakes squealed whenever we came to a stop. All the springs in the seat had been crushed and I might as well have been sitting on the floor. In our neighborhood it was a little embarrassing, but the further out into the suburbs we got, the worse off our car seemed to look. I was getting closer to school, and becoming more horrified by the second. I kept trying to convince myself that it didn't matter, that it _shouldn't_ matter. After all, it was just a material thing, not much importance to it at all. Who _'cared'_ what the other kids thought? They didn't really like me anyway. But my mind betrayed me at every turn. By the time we had gotten within five minutes of school, I had begun to wonder what every one was saying about us. If the kids on the street were giggling behind my back. If they shook their heads or wondered how our car made it all the way out to their happy little town in the first place. And I turned to look out of the window so Bobby couldn't see me blushing. God, I hate to say it...but it was awful.

We actually got to the school grounds, and I couldn't help but notice some smiles and giggles as we drove up. I wished no one would know that it was me, but I'd have to get out of the car sooner or later. And they'd be sure to wait for me too. Like waiting to see 100 clowns get out of their tiny buggy in the circus. My heart dropped as the screech of the breaks stopped us in front of the door and the frantic flapping of the plastic came to a temporary halt. I hesitated for a moment. I did not want to get out of the car. They were waiting, watching, almost anxious to see who they could point their fingers at and tease for being so lame. But who was I kidding? They knew who the 'poor boy' was. It's not like they didn't already guess it was me. "There's good old Jack the Destitute, polluting the air with his shit wagon." they'd say. The difference between rich and poor around here isn't really money...it's the fact that poor people actually 'care' whether or not they hurt your feelings. I was sure they would have no trouble shouting it out in the middle of the library or something. Sigh....so why delay the inevitable? I might as well just get out and take whatever punishment they can give me.

Bobby must have seen my hesitation, but he pretended not to. "Have a good day, Jack." I took a deep breath before opening the door, and that's when he said, "It's not so bad, kid. Just remember...for the reunion...you might be driving up in a limo." I could only wish that could be true. I leaned over to kiss him goodbye. Why not? Kissing my brother couldn't be half as humiliating as arriving in this thing. And that's when I took a deep breath and I opened the car door. Naturally, the teasing started the second Bobby pulled away, and I was forced to bow my head and ignore it as always. Fuck 'em all! Who cares about them anyway? Not me. To hell with them....assholes!

Word sure must have travelled fast, because by the time I got to my second period class, literally _everybody_ knew about it. It was just a car for crying out loud! You'd think they could let it go and talk about something of importance. But no...they just had to keep bugging me about it. I was the kid who was smart enough to be there, but too 'poor' for it to matter to them. Not to mention the fact that I got to hang around Mitchie at all times. That really bugged them! And I'll admit, sometimes I would throw an arm over his shoulder and smile just so I could throw that in their face. It felt so good. Even better when he did it to me. You see, Mitchie was one of those cute, funny, charismatic kids that _everybody_ wanted to meet and be friends with. A boy that everybody was constantly trying to make into Mr. Popular. But the fact is he was just too modest to let it happen. They'd invite him to every party, talk to him in the halls, nominate him for every club and committee available, try to get him to play sports...but he never did. And that's one of the things I loved about him so much. He never needed any of that artificial glory. He was just happy being alive, being real, and being with me. That was just so special. So rare, especially in high school.

"What's up? You look down." Mitchie asked in the halls after the next class.

"It's nothing. Forget about it." I pouted. I could never understand why this was still bothering me. Maybe it's because...despite the pointlessness of their whole existence, I was letting the rich kids win. Whatever happened to the brave and heartfelt underdog who always comes out on top in the end?

Just then, two boys walked passed us and went, "Honk honk! Putt putt putt..." and laughed.

"This place is so stupid..." I mumbled, ashamed of my own feelings.

"Jack...c'mon, tell me." Mitchie pleaded. There was just a hint of that sexy little whine in his voice. The same whine he usually gives me right before he's ready to explode during sex. It's unbelievably cute.

"The bus didn't come by the house today. So my mom had to get up and take me to school this morning in that fucked up garbage dumpster we call a car. So they're making fun of me again." I answered. "They're _always_ making fun of me."

"That's it? Aww Jack, don't pay any attention to those idiots. They don't know what they're talking about."

"Gee, thanks." I said sarcastically. "They don't make it easy to ignore them, you know? I just don't understand why they get such a kick out of making me feel like shit."

"Because they have nothing of substance in their own lives to make them feel good other than being better than someone else. That's why."

"Yeah, well...I'm glad that I get to be their 'scapegoat'. It's a lot of fun...really." I answered.

"Just you remember that you've got something that none of them will ever have."

"A miserable existence?"

"No, Mr. Pout Mouth, me, you dork." Mitchie smiled, and then whispered, "And I've seen you naked. You have nothing to be ashamed of!" A little giggle escaped his lips while I tried to hold mine in.

"Don't make me laugh; I'm trying to be upset here."

"Yes, yes, and it's very cute too." I could have kissed him right then and there if there weren't other people in the hallway. "Listen, next time just _call_ me. If the bus isn't running, I can wrangle a ride from one of my dad's people and they'll send someone for you."

"You don't have to go through all of that..."

"Shut up, it's not like it's a big deal. Besides, I feel like a part of my day is missing when I don't get to see you in the morning."

I doubt he would have let me say anything else except for yes. So I nodded, smiled, and watched the faces of the other people in the hallway sink as I walked next to Mitchie, shoulder to shoulder, grinning. Me...Jack The Destitute. The one boy who could be in his life without having to turn cartwheels to impress him. Let's see them top that one!

Mitchie had actually grown accustomed to coming over to my house after school a few times during the week. After all, a ride for him was only a phone call away. I was proud to have him over to my place. It was hardly the 'palace' that _he_ lived in, but he never complained, not once. And we had the best time just talking while Bobby slept on the couch on and off for the rest of the day until time to go to work. That meant that I could close the door and sneak a few minutes of 'make-out' time with my angel. We always turned music on, but not too loud. I wanted to be able to hear him coming if he woke up. I don't know...something about kissing my boyfriend on the bed with him in the other room, our ears perked up to keep from being caught in the act..it added this 'danger' to the whole thing. And that was doubly as arousing! Occasionally though, he would leave early, and Mitchie and I could have a lot more fun than usual.

We played around for a bit when we got hungry and went into the kitchen for some grub. Mitchie and I were just walking around in our boxer shorts, and it just gave me more chances to stare at him. The smoothness of his back, the angle of his shoulder blades, the slim waist of his, narrowing slightly downward until it touched on the squeezable top of his ripe ass. I started to get hard again almost instantly. "I don't know what we've got to eat, really." I said.

"It's no biggie. We can just..." He looked down and saw my 'excitement', a smile spreading out on his face. "You want more?" He grinned, and he put his hands on my waist, gently bringing me closer until the tip of my hardness was touching the semi hard, and growing, bulge in his boxers. "Hmmmm?" He growled deeply, and closed his eyes as he rubbed noses with me.

"Mmmmm...yeah. I do." I snaked my arms around him, my heart throbbing at the very idea that I got to be so in love, so unapologetically lost in his sex. And we kissed tenderly, our bodies pushing into one another. I nearly fainted.

He broke the kiss and looked at me, "Can we eat first?"

"I've got something for you to eat..." I said, but he just spanked me on the bottom and grinned.

"Quiet. I'm serious." He said, and let me go, even though he was back at full hardness. I was beginning to wonder if he'd let me drop to my knees right there in the kitchen and just get a few long sucks. Just enough to fill my mouth with his flavor. But showed enough restraint to be somewhat 'normal' for the time being.

I went into the other room to throw some pants on and t shirt. Just in case we got surprised by a neighbor or something. Us walking around half naked in a house by ourselves might be kind of hard to explain. I came back in the kitchen, and grabbed a nice handful of Mitchie's ass before slipping around him to hug him from behind. Mitchie opened the refrigerator and bent over to look inside while I was still holding him in my affectionate embrace. We both took a peek to see what was inside. Let me tell you, it wasn't much.

"Well, I guess you know the only options dude. Cold cereal, one of Bobby's granola bars, or...yuck...fruit." I said, looking into a perpetually empty fridge.

Mitchie leaned down a bit further, and his cheeks pressed tight against me. "Mmmm, God you feel good." I moaned, kissing the back of his neck.

"Hey now, food first, remember? Don't you go getting frisky on me." He giggled. The smell of his hair, the feel of his sponge like ass against my hardness, the warmth of his skin...it was all so intoxicating. I couldn't stop myself. Mitchie stood up and closed the door, giving me a sweet boyish kiss on the lips before walking to put his clothes back on. I had to stand in the doorway to watch him get dressed. My eyes drank in every detail, obsessed with the pure beauty of him.

"How's about we just order a pizza? Nothing wrong with a little junk food." He said, putting his shirt on.

"Pizza is _not_ junk food, pizza is a blessing. It's practically the fifth food group in Chicago. Now Slim Jim's...that's junk food." I said. Mitchie gave me a strange smile, like he didn't quite understand what I was talking about. "What?"

"What's a Slim Jim?"

"Oh man, you've gotta be kidding me? You don't know what a Slim Jim is???" Mitchie bashfully shook his head and giggled a bit out of embarrassment.

"I guess if the housekeeper can't cook it and it doesn't come in take-out form, I don't eat it."

"Well...it's like this...long hard beef thing that you put in your mouth..." I started, not even knowing what that sounded like until Mitchie blushed and laughed at me. "Hehehehe....pervert! Total pervert! Dude, you know what...we're going to run down to the corner store, right now, and I'm going to give you a tour of the wonderful world of junk food."

"Um...ok. I'll tell you what, you school me on something new and good, and it'll be my treat."

"Yeah, well...I'm broke, so I was gonna suggest that anyway." I giggled, and he kissed me on the cheek before getting his shoes from the corner.

We put our shoes on and went down the block to check it out. I had only planned to get a few Slim Jims and a soda or two, but Mitchie took out a small wad of cash and said he wanted to know it ALL. So we went shopping! We got Slim Jims, beef jerky, slurpees, pretzels, pork rinds, Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos, cheez puffs, root beer, Nutty Buddy's, Now and Laters, potato chips in four different flavors, Blow Pops, Jolly Ranchers, Ho Ho's, Twinkies, peanuts, Crunch N' Munch, nachos and salsa, Twizzlers, and a whole bag of Tootsie Rolls! We stocked up and walked home with two giant grocery sized bags full of every snack treat and cavity causing, dinner ruining, zit breeding, munch able piece of garbage to ever pollute the teenage body. Then we went home and practically ate ourselves silly...it was great!

We sat down, flicked on the TV and just started off with some beef jerky. I was already into my third bite when I noticed Tanner still fiddling with the plastic. I watched him for a second, trying not to laugh, and saw him attempt to quietly fidget and pull at it like a four year old trying to get into a bottle of aspirin. He was being so...'proper' about it. I almost expected him to take out a salad fork and a napkin. "Hehehe...what are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm trying to get this damn thing open." He said, concentrating hard on finding a way inside the shrink wrapped package.

"Why the hell are you being so damn _'dainty'_ about it? God, sometimes you're so gay!" I laughed. Mitchie started to giggle himself and then he playfully banged it against the table. Like that'll do any good.

"Leave me alone!" He smiled, and after a few seconds more of fumbling with it with his fingernails, he gave up. "Hehehe...okay, smart ass. How do you get it open?" He grinned.

I leaned closer to him, and whispered in his ear, "This is the first and the last time I'm ever gonna tell you this....but use your teeth!" Then I took a harsh bite of my beef jerky and my dirty little message got through. We laughed a bit, and he bit into the package, ripping it open. I think he got a mouthful of plastic, but once he spit it out and finished trying to get it off of his tongue with his fingers, he was happy to have it open. He smiled at finally getting to taste the legendary junk food king, and we spent the rest of the afternoon just making our way through both bags of stuff. Experimenting with this and that, Mitchie really being excited to be exposed to so many new things. And he kept trying to remember the names of everything, like he was gong to be tested on it later. He was so cute about it. And it was one of the few times that I actually got to teach _him_ something that he had never experienced before.

When Mitchie's ride got there, we started to kiss goodbye, but by then our breaths were a mixture of a hundred different snacks and the tastes didn't exactly 'match up.' So we giggled a bit and settled for a hug until we could reach a toothbrush. It was so cool being able to see a smile on Mitchie's face, to see that look of wonder. I honestly felt like I had something to offer him when I got to open his eyes to something new. It somehow seemed to make up for all the beauty he had brought into my life. I went to sleep with quite the stomach ache that night, but every time the pain would pinch me or jab at my ribs, I'd think of me and Mitchie gulping down two bags worth of junk food together while watching MTV on the living room couch, and I felt even better. I slept well that night.

The next morning I didn't see Mitchie on the bus and wondered what was up. I was gonna be late for my first period class, but I decided to call his house from a pay phone in the hallway. Unfortunately, he had taken a pretty bad reaction to our 'junk-o-rama' the previous day, and had called in sick. Hehehehe, I guess the initiation into the world of junk food should be taken in moderation. But he wasn't really all that miserable, just out of whack for a while, and I had fun talking to him for about 10 minutes before I remembered that I should actually try going to class...since I was in school and all. "I've gotta go. But I'll call you back during lunch hour to see how you're doing, K? Promise."

"Ugh...I feel like I ate a live raccoon, dude. And he's trying to get back out by clawing at me from the inside." He mumbled.

"Awww, my poor baby. I'm so sorry; we should have taken it easy."

"Don't sweat it. Yesterday was awesome. Today....well, that's another story." I could hear his smile, and it inspired one of my own. "Now go get to class or something before security puts you away for not having a hall pass."

"Ok. I'll call you later, I mean it."

"I'll be here. Trust me." He replied. "I love you, Jack."

I looked around and whispered, "Love you too..." Then I blew him a little kiss and hung up the phone. My perfect little angel.

I went through the first part of the day without too much trouble, but it was the period right before lunch that I always hated the most. A science class that seemed to be filled with some of the snobbiest kids in the whole place it seemed. Especially this kid, Chris the one who mad fun of me on the bus. Oh man how I loathed that boy. He just thought he was the hottest thing to ever grace the face of the Earth, and what made it worse was the fact that he actually had most of the school believing the same thing. He was the end product that the school's 'social order' wanted Mitchie to be...popular, rich, sexy, new car, perfect hair, Lacrosse team, ladies man...and all the superficial bullshit that came with it. Chris was a real pretty boy, one of those kids you stare at twice because he looked too good to be true. Slim, athletic, short light brown hair, big green eyes, and a real heartthrob...until he opened his big mouth, that is. I'm sure that the other rich kids saw it as being 'sassy' or having 'attitude', and they all thought it was cute. Me? I just thought he was a creep. I've never really heard Mitchie talk about him one way or the other. In fact, I don't even think he cared enough to hate him. But Chris was bothered by anyone who didn't fall into his little world of fame, so I doubted he deemed either one of us as being worthy of much. At least that's what I _thought_ until that day when I saw him talking to some of his 'groupies' and heard Mitchie's name come up.

Naturally, I eavesdropped to see what was going on, and Chris was actually saying that it was weird not having him in school that day. When I heard that, I got up a little courage and walked over. I don't know why I did it or what I expected, but for some reason it seemed like he was being friendlier than usual, and if there's was a possibility to make a new friend, I was always happy to take a chance. Stupid mistake.

"Actually...um... Mitchie called in sick today. I just talked to him this morning, and he said he'd be back tomorrow." I said. Chris, however, only turned to look me up and down like I was begging for change or something. And I saw the small crowd around him mirror that attitude in an attempt to be just like him. Their stupid little hero.

"Was I even _talking_ to you fag?" He said with a look of disgust. It was dumb of me. I should have known better. And even though I hated him, I hated myself more for actually being hurt by the way he had just humiliated me. I turned and walked silently back to my desk, but after a few whispers, Chris and his posse came over to give me a little more trouble. "So you talked to Mitchie this morning? That's nice. You know, I wonder exactly when he's gonna get tired of you and move on already. I didn't even think it would last thus long." He sneered.

"Get tired of me? I highly doubt it. we hang out all the time." I said with pride. "Now, why don't you guys go back to your corner and let me have some peace for once."

"Say, just trying to be a friend, you know?" Chris said with an evil smile.

"Whatever."

"I'm serious, Jack. I just want to prepare you for the inevitable, bro. I mean...you don't think this little buddy-buddy friendship is really going to last, do you? Ha! Not so."

"Is that so?" I said blankly, being totally uninterested in anything else that Chris had to say at this point. I just kept my eyes down in my book and tried my best to ignore him until he went away.

"Yeah, that is so, actually. You know, we'll be really glad when he gets sick of you and goes back to being 'normal' like the rest of us. He's slumming right now, but he'll come back eventually. Just wait and see."

"As usual, Chris...I don't have any idea what the hell you are talking about." I said, annoyed with the very sound of his voice. What a fucking asshole!

"I'm talking about you being Mitchie's little pet project. You don't really think he likes you? Do ya? You're a novelty, Jack. A circus freak that sticks out like a wooden nickel. Sure he wants to see how the other half lives, buy you a few things, make you feel good...sort of like an outreach program or adopting a starving child in Ethiopia. But once the infatuation has worn off and he gets tired of supporting a leech like you...he'll come to his senses and join the rest of us again."

Why was he doing this? I wasn't going to believe him, it was pointless for him to even try. "Like I said Chris...whatever."

"Oh, I see. You don't believe me. Well tell me something, you guys have been hanging out and stuff right? Well...when was the last time you've been to his house?" Chris asked. It wasn't working, this was stupid! I was just at Mitchie's house....well I was....we were....

And it was at that moment that I realized that it had been almost two weeks since I had even seen the inside of Mitchie's house. He was always coming to join me after school. Chris had a small point, but it's not like it meant anything. "A while. So what?"

"A while, huh? So he likes coming to your house now? Everyday? Like he's tired of you sponging off of him? Like he just wants to escape his life for a little while and kick it with you? Believe me Jack; he's just trying to find something about you that's interesting enough to even consider you worthy of his time. Wake up and smell the coffee geek, your friendship is practically in overtime as it is. Mitchie can't escape what he is even if he tried." Then Chris leaned in closer, "You know what I heard through the grapevine, dude? I hear that since you ran out of the grand theater that one day without telling anybody... Mitchie's been totally embarrassed to bring you in front of his family. That's why he hasn't invited you over. He's ashamed of you dude, and once he gets tired of going out of his way to give to somebody who can't afford to give back...he'll wonder why he ever liked you in the first place. He's only with you because he's taken you in like a sick little puppy in the rain. You're a charity Jack, a financial burden, and even somebody with as much as Mitchie's got in the bank can only give so much before he gets tired of you asking. Think about it."

I heard the bell ring finally, and I stood up in disgust, refusing to show them that they had gotten to me at all. I just grabbed my stuff and walked away. That's when I heard Chris shout out, "Not that I don't want you to be happy, poor boy! I'm sure you'll find at least one friend by the end of high school. Maybe some nerd boy and you can meet, grow a snake farm, and live happily ever after." He laughed at me, the other kids joining in like the studio audience of some sitcom. He had them fooled, but I saw right through all his bullshit and laid eyes on the jerk that he really was. How dare he suggest that Mitchie didn't like me? I was hurt by the fact that he said it, but it's not like I believed him or anything...because I didn't. Mitchie and I were in love. Did he know that little detail? No. Mitchie told me every day and every night, we displayed it through tears, through laughter, through sex...you can't fake that. Something this strong isn't just a fad, it'll last forever. I was sure of it. To hell with Chris and his goons!

I went to the pay phone first thing before lunch as I promised, and called Mitchie who was sitting in bed watching Jerry Springer. "Hey dude, what's up?" He said.

"Say, I was thinking..." I told him, not really giving in to what Chris told me, but 'testing' something out of sheer curiosity, "...maybe after school, I could drop by your house and hang out today. What do ya say?"

"Here? Nah...let's go to your place instead."

Strange, yes, but it didn't hurt me really, it was just a bit odd. "Yeah, but Bobby will be home all day. So I thought...I could just stop by on my way home...maybe bring you some Slim Jims?"

"Hehehe...I think I've had my fill of Slim Jims for quite a while, dude. Maybe next century. That's okay though. I'm feeling better, really. I'll get my lazy butt out of bed and just meet you at your house."

"But Bobby will be home. Remember?"

"We've done stuff while Bobby was home before."

"Not 'good' stuff. Not like we can at your house. Hehehe..." A weak giggle escaped my lips. Keep it together, Jack. Don't start getting weird. This is all so stupid.

"Well...yeah, but...both my parents are home."

"Yeah, but Mitchie your house is big enough where we can avoid them for a while. They never come down in the basement, right." I said, getting a bit worried as to why he was seemingly so insistent about keeping me away from his house.

There was a slight pause, and then he said, "...but there's nothing to do here. I have more fun at your house. You know?" I didn't say anything at first. "Jack?"

"Oh...yeah...okay. Sounds like a plan." I said, snapping back into focus. It was beginning to sting a little bit now. What was the deal here? All of the sudden he doesn't want me hanging around his house? Nothing to do there? He had a billiards table, an arcade game, a swimming pool...there was plenty to do at his house. But I decided to just agree and let it go before Chris' little mind games and ramblings really got to me. If Mitchie was getting tired of me...I didn't want to know about it. I'd rather stay in the dark forever about it. I'd rather be totally in love and deceived into thinking he felt the same way. As long as he never told me to get lost, I couldn't take that. I'd rather be his ignorant fool for life. It was better than nothing. Wasn't it?

When I got home from school, Mitchie was already inside. Bobby was in the kitchen baking brownies and he was helping him put the mix into the pans. He seemed a bit awkward, fixing things for himself, holding the bowl and trying to empty the batter without dropping it. Hehehe, it was so cute, the way it looked as if his muscles weren't meant to do something so 'everyday'. "I thought you had had your fill of junk food." I said.

Mitchie looked up at me with those big beautiful eyes of his and greeted me with a warm smile. "That was hours ago. I'm fully reformed when it comes to brownies." He looked like such a big kid wearing an apron and holding a big wooden spoon. He had a little smudge of flour on his forehead, and it was enough to make you want to tackle him right there and make love on the floor. Bobby took a hold of the bowl and Mitchie wiped his hands off on his apron. Giving me a little pose, he smirked, "Check me out Jack, I'm baking Psh! Am I domesticated or what?"

"Yeah...or what?" I smiled.

Bobby grinned at us and told me to put the pans in the oven while he checked on his laundry. He left the room and Mitchie scooped some leftover mix from the bowl surprising me by putting a dab of it on my nose. I giggled a bit and he kissed me while smearing some more on my cheek. I didn't know if Bobby was coming or not, but it was all I could take. He was too damn adorable at that moment to let him go another second without a smooch. I took a finger full of the batter myself and spread it gently across his lips, kissing him deeply and mixing it between us with my tongue. We were both getting a bit excited by the whole thing and as soon as we noticed our pants being tented out in front of us, we stopped right away. But not before Mitchie leaned over and lewdly licked the remaining chocolate off of my cheek. I must admit, I've never really been licked like that before, it kind of tickled. It felt strange and wet and a bit sticky...but not in a gross way. It was actually pretty erotic. But then again this was Mitchie, he could make tying his shoe an erotic experience.

"I love you so much..." I whispered, our eyes locked.

"Don't start something we can't finish." He said with another peck on the lips. "Bobby's coming." We straightened ourselves up a bit, and made sure that we turned away from him when he came back in.

We all sat in the kitchen while waiting for the brownies to finish, all three of us. We just sat around and joked for a bit, and I guess I had one of those brothers who you didn't really feel uncomfortable having in the room when your friends were over, because he just gave us our space. Not to mention that he was 'fun'. He didn't try to be 14, he didn't try to be hip or super cool, he was just...naturally sweet. And he was one of the few brothers on the planet that could coexist in the same room with his little brother and his 'boyfriend'. The brownies came out later, and we made sure that Mitchie was going to be around to taste some of his handy work. Besides, with the way that he was checking on them every two minutes by opening the oven door, I doubt we could have gotten him to leave if we wanted to. Hehehe, he really had never baked anything before. He was enchanted by the experience. It looked like it was going to be a long night, so I thought Mitchie should maybe let his parents know that he was going to be home late.

"Say dude, you should call home so you can stay a while longer."

"Call home? Why would I need to do that?" Mitchie asked with a confused smile.

"So...they know where you are, man. They'll worry about you."

"Oh yeah, right. Um...do you have a phone in your bedroom or something? I'll just tell them I'm out with friends." And I showed him the way. 'Out with friends?' Is that what he said? For some reason the very thought of that made me think. So not only was I not welcome in his house, but he didn't even want to let his parents know he was hanging out with me. I know he didn't mean it, I was sure of it, but he was really starting to dig his nails into my heart here. I was willing to give him all I had in this world, even if it wasn't much. I don't care what anybody said, I was not a charity case. Mitchie loved me and I loved him. He already told me the other stuff doesn't matter, and I should believe him. I really should.

I left him alone to make his call, and just hoped that I could block out some of those awful inner conversations that were suddenly popping up in the back of my mind. He came back into the room a minute or so later, smiling as though it had never happened, and after a few exchanges, I guess I felt well enough to forget about it for a while and just enjoy the evening. Bobby actually broke out a deck of cards and we all played poker until the brownies were cool enough to eat. We all had some more laughs and a few quirky card games before he had to go home. Geez, I never wanted to see him leave. I wish he would just move in next door or something. After all, I was just going to end up calling him by the end of the night anyway. Bobby actually offered to give him a lift, but I _quickly_ objected! No reason for him to be subjected to the awful splendor of the junk wagon. And he called for his ride to pick him up. He loved me, he had to. I mean he was having fun, wasn't he? I had done everything I could to make him laugh a little, and he made brownies...that was cool. Chris didn't know what he was talking about. That asshole. And to think, I was actually starting to believe him.

I went to bed that night, after calling Mitchie and talking to him of course, thinking about the two of us. But it wasn't the usual happy thoughts of Mitchie and I living in total bliss for the rest of our lives. No, this time it was more analytical, like I was examining every moment we had ever spent together and seeing if it was real. I know it sounds silly, but dammit...it just wouldn't leave me alone! I just....I wanted to know if I should brace myself for a harsh let down here in the long run. I don't know if I could survive it if Mitchie decided he really was through with me and wanted to be 'normal' again. Me...sitting here using Chris' words! Why am I letting him get to me anyway? Forget it Jack, just let it go and enjoy what you have before you screw it up. It was hard to sleep, trying desperately to drive the demons from my mind, but I finally made it. Dreams about Mitchie were as common as breathing; I only hoped that it wasn't as 'fantasy-driven' in real life as it was in my subconscious. We all need our waking dreams too.

School had its usual dismal appeal, not that I expected any more from it really. But at least my sweetie pie was by my side again, and that made it so much better. The first half of the day breezed right by, and I got to gym class a bit early that day. That's when I saw Chris walk past my locker, evidently running late from the class before me. He had just stepped out of the shower, with only a towel wrapped around his slender waist, his hair dripping wet, his muscles looking soft and relaxed from the heat of the running water, his green eyes sparkling with even more glory than usual. As much as I hated him for the kind of person he was, if I didn't know anything about him and saw him from afar...it would be a mouthwatering religious experience. Believe me. He really _was_ cute, in a 'big asshole' kind of way. He didn't seem to notice me at first, but then once he recognized me he shuffled over to me and flashed me that cocky grin that let me know that there was some grief coming my way. Great, and here we go with 'Round 2'.

"So...did you step back into the real world yet, loser? Or do you still think this is all a game?" He sneered.

As he stepped closer, he smelled of heat and soap and a hint of shampoo. It was almost an erotic combination. I didn't even look him in the eye when I answered him. "Did you grow a _personality_ yet? Or are you still an asshole?"

"You know, attacking me won't make it any better. Ok, suit yourself. But I'm willing to bet you won't see the inside of Mitchie 's house for a very long time. God knows _I_ wouldn't let you in."

"Aren't you 'late' for something?" I asked, trying to get him to just leave me alone. What did I ever do to these people anyway? And why the hell did he smell so damn good at that moment?

"Not hardly. The class will wait for me. They always wait for me. You see...I'm the boy that little fags like you dream about. I'm the guy you'll never be, no matter how hard you try. As long as you remember your place, you'll be fine." And he finally backed off a bit to get dressed. I was hardly a threat to Chris in any way. He had no reason to feel the need to pester me; he just did it out of pure spite. Sometimes I almost wish Mitchie could take his place as Mr. Popularity and knock him down a few pegs. Mitchie was much cuter, much sweeter, and a much better human being than Chris would ever be. Without his ego, his money, and his damn good looks, there was hardly anything left.

Chris opened the combination lock on his locker down at the other end of the row. We were the only two there, and the other people in my class were sure to start filing in any second now. I started to unbutton my shirt when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chris drop his towel to the floor. I don't know what it was, but I felt a slight stirring in the pit of my stomach, and I was suddenly tempted to look at him. It wasn't because it was him, it was just a 'gay boy sees cute boy naked' type of thing. I tried not to turn my head, tried not to let my curiosity get the best of me...but geez....he smelled _so_ good. And it wasn't like I 'liked' him or anything. In fact I was disgusted by everything he said or did, it probably wouldn't even interest me all that much. I was probably bigger than he was anyway. So what harm would it do to sneak a peek? Let's see what Mr. Fancy Pants here has got to offer anybody stupid enough to want to spend time with a spoiled brat like him.

So, I gave in to temptation. I turned my head just a little bit and took a little secret glance at him. Just to see what he was made of.

Gulp....ohhhh...oh wow...it was incredible! The first thing I saw was the milky white skin on his beautifully round teen butt as he pulled his clothes out of his locker. His long hairless legs were so smooth looking, and damp. Even from across the room, a hint of that sexy fragrance crept my way and seemed to enhance the picture even more. His keys dropped out of his pants pocket, and he bent over to pick them up without shame. I saw just a hint of his freshly cleaned pucker, when he did it, and it made my cock slowly begin to stiffen and swell all on its own. I turned my back quickly before I gave myself away, but in my heart, I wanted to look again...maybe even stare. He's not supposed to be perfect! He's not supposed to be sexy! God is supposed to be punishing him or something, right? I mean, his attitude is supposed to be making up for some awful shortcoming or disfiguration. He _can't_ be rich, and popular, and gorgeous! It's just not fucking fair!

Temptation came nudging at me again, and I took another glance at his sweet ass as he dried the last few droplets of water off of his slender body. It was decorated with swimmer's muscles, long and sleek, and he dried his hair with the towel, allowing me a few seconds to get a full glance. Then, he put one of his legs up on the bench and began to dry his private area while his back was still turned. I couldn't help but silently gasp as he did it, my member getting even harder despite my direct orders for it to stay limp. His legs were covered with the silkiest fine dusting of fuzz, and his skin was blemish free. His round balls were visible underneath his one lifted leg...they were just there, looking tastey and full, still soft and wet, hanging low to be seen underneath the soft cups of his butt. And as he jiggled the towel back and forth over them, I could have sworn I saw the head of his penis as it bounced back and forth with his hand motions. I was mesmerized, and suddenly jerked my head back into position to look straight ahead. There, that's enough...curiosity satisfied. He's...he's not all that. Just like everybody else. So he's cute, so what? Not enough to cover up the fact that he's a complete bastard on the inside. Not even worth a second look. Or...or is that a third look? Whatever! To hell with him!

I got into my gym shorts and Chris finally finished getting dressed. Then he walked past me and said, "Later, bitch." and just walked away. Fuck it, who needs him?

I was talking to Mitchie right before we got on the bus to go home later that afternoon, and asked him if maybe he wanted to hang out today. "Sure! What do you say we go to your house and order some Philly Cheese Steak sandwiches or something? I've got a taste for one." Mitchie said with a smile.

"Um....that's sounds fun, dude. But...actually I was thinking we could go to your house and play a few games or something." I said. I was still feeling a bit strange about all this, and it just seemed too weird to me that I hadn't been over in so long.

"My house? Who wants to go over there? I'm there all the time. I need to get away from it all once in a while."

"Well...yeah, but..I haven't been over in a long while. I just thought it would be nice to change the location. You know?"

"Well...how about we just go out and get a bite to eat at the mall. And I'll have somebody pick me up and drop you off at home before taking me back?"

Okay...this was not good. What was going on here? I was determined to see what was going on in Mitchie's mind. If he was ashamed of me, he could just say it. I'd understand...I guess. I mean, maybe I'm not the kind of person he usually hangs out with, but I was sure that I at least gave him a few smiles here and there. I might not deserve to be at Mitchie's side, I'd never deny that, but if anything I deserved to know how he felt about me. We got on the bus, and since this was bothering me so much all of the sudden, I didn't want to go on not knowing. I had to ask. " Mitchie...is there something you're not telling me here?"

"What? I just thought it would be fun, that's all."

"I mean about me being in your house. Do you not want me to come over?"

Mitchie looked at me with a bit of surprise for a second, and then diverted his eyes to the ground. "Dude, can we not...look...I like it at your house okay? That's all. Don't get me wrong, I like having you over and all, but..."

"But? But what? Go ahead. Tell me. But _what_?" I said, politely demanding an answer.

"Jack....dude, it's not like I don't want you there, it's just that I would rather go out someplace else. That's all it is. I didn't say you weren't welcome."

"So just...humor me a little and let me come over for just today. Would it be that bad?"

"It won't be _bad_, Jack. Just..." He stuttered.

"Just _what_?" I asked, my eyes pleading for another answer than the one becoming more concrete by the second in the back of my mind. "I mean...are you running an illegal drug operation in the basement? Is your dad secretly Batman? Are you fumigating for rich cockroaches with Gucci purses? What? Give me something to go on here, Mitchie."

"I don't know why this is such a big deal to you."

"It's not a big deal. That's why I don't see the harm in spending some time in your mansion there."

"My parents are home..."

"And you don't want them to see me. That's what it is, isn't it?" I said, finally blurting it out. "You don't want them to know that you're playing big brother to little Jack the Destitute from the poor side of town, where people don't matter. Is that right?" I said it almost loud enough for other people on the bus to hear us, and he was a bit shaken by the attention.

"Jack...what the hell? Can we not do this right now? If you don't want to hang out today, just let me know and I'll go home alone."

"I'm not asking you to go home alone, Mitchie. I'm asking to join you, but you obviously don't want that as long as your snobby uptight parents are home. The 'King' and 'Queen' wouldn't like that at all, would they?"

Tanner flashed me a hurt look and shoved me. The look in his eyes made me want to take it all back, but my pride wouldn't let me. He hurt my feelings, why should I care if I hurt his? He suddenly grabbed his bag tight, and pushed and stepped on my feet as he got up out of his seat. "Fuck you, Jack! I really don't need this!" And he moved to the other side of the bus.

We didn't say another word to each other for the next few minutes, and Mitchie got off the bus without so much as looking back in my direction to flip me the finger. I didn't know if I should be glad or angry or heartbroken. All I knew was that I instantly regretted doing it. I mean, what did he do to deserve an attack like that? Maybe I was being too pushy about it all. I mean, it hurt, sure, but I wasn't necessarily a big prize. I should be getting down on my knees and thanking the stars above every single day of my pathetic life that someone like Mitchie would even look twice at me. He was so much more than I deserved to have, and here I am pushing him away over some bullshit scuffle about who's house to visit after school. Still...I was a real person, with real feelings. I know it shouldn't matter to me what anybody else thought, but I was determined to prove that one day. To Mitchie, to his parents, to his family, to the kids at school, to Chris...I was going to show them all someday.

I pretty much felt like shit for the rest of the way home, and I had made the decision to just call Mitchie when I got home and beg his forgiveness. Even if he didn't like me, even if I was his pet project, I was going to make this last for as long as I could. So fifty years from now, when I'm old and grey and alone, I can say that I once had one true love in my life, and I did my best to make it work. I walked home from the bus stop and as soon as I walked through the front door, I put my bag by the phone. I picked it up, but stopped suddenly when I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I froze at first, wondering whether to call out and see if it was Bobby, call the police, or just run my ass off. I'd been robbed before when I was little, but not while I was actually in the house! I don't know what made me do it, but I weakly called out to see if it was Bobby.

"Bobby? Is that you?" No answer. And I heard another noise from the kitchen. Okay....my heart was beating a thousand times per second now, and I was moving closer to the kitchen. I grabbed the broom from the corner and took it with me. Whatever Jack! Like that' gonna protect you! And I snuck around the corner and peeked my head around. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief as I saw Mitchie fooling around in the fridge and wearing a portable CD player on his hip. He was nodding his head slightly to the music and didn't even see me coming. I tapped him on the shoulder to let him know I was there and he freaked!

"Oh shit! Jack! Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!" He said ripping the earphones off of his head.

"I thought you were a burglar."

"Well, what the hell were you gonna do? Sweep me to death?"

"What are you doing here anyway? I kinda got the impression you didn't want to talk to me." I said, my stubbornness returning.

"Bobby let me in before he went to work. I just stopped by to see you. As soon as I got home, I had somebody drive me over here before you got home."

"Great. Well there's a good way to keep me from coming over. Just meet at my house all the time and I'll never be the wiser."

"Stop it with that. Geez..." He sighed "Jack, look, we have to talk." He said, a serious look in his eye, his soft fingers grabbing the broom from my hands. This was it. He was either going to tell me that he loved me no matter what, or he was going to tell me to piss off. If it turned out bad, could I take it? If it turned out well, could I believe it? I wasn't quite sure what to expect from any of this at all, but as my heart pounded away in my chest, I knew that I was finally going to get my answer. And I needed that. We went back into my bedroom and sat down next to each other on the bed. I wasn't quite sure what to say, and I don't think he was either.

"Okay..." He started, "I'm going to ask you something. And no matter what happens, I want you to be totally honest with me, okay?" Then Mitchie took a deep breath, his voice shaking as though he was terrified to say what was on his mind. "Are....are you trying to tell me...to get lost or something?"

"Huh?"

"Because...if you are...I need to know. I just..I don't want you to ever be unhappy." He said, cringing a bit. "You know?"

I paused, not knowing if I had even _heard_ him right. I was a little dumbfounded that he would ask such an odd question, and I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. I looked over at him and he was obviously dreading me giving him the wrong answer. "Mitchie...no! My God, no! Where would you get a crazy idea like that from?"

He let out a long relieving sigh. "Whew, thank God..." He brushed his hair out of his eyes. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me."

"I'm not trying to 'get rid' of you. I love you more than anything in this world."

"Then what is it? What am I doing wrong?"

Mitchie was beginning to get tears in his eyes, I think partially out of relief, and partially out of confusion. He seemed so lost at that moment. I turned around so as not to look him in the eyes. My heart was an open book for him, and I didn't want to hurt him by letting him know he was hurting me. "I know how you feel about...well, about who I am, Mitchie. Or better, what I am."

"What is that supposed to mean, Jack? I don't get it." He said, almost breaking into a sob.

Don't look Jack, don't look. Once you do, you'll crack. Don't make this worse than it has to be. "I'm not like the others, Mitchie. I'm not normal. You shouldn't have to hide anything because of me, you shouldn't have to face the teasing that I do, or miss out on your chance to be the hottest most popular kid in school. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your time or your money or anything else for me. It's not worth it."

"Why do you always _say_ that? What the hell do I have to do to prove to you that none of that stuff matters to me, Jack? You matter to me. You're _always_ telling me how you don't deserve me and how you're not good enough and how I don't have to buy you stuff. Jack, I do all that stuff because it's the only way I know for me to show you how much I care about you. I don't know how to say it because this is still all so new to me. And God, I'm so sorry if you don't know how deep my love for you goes, but I want you to feel the same way. And I don't want you to feel guilty about accepting the same from me. All the things I've ever done for you...no, with you...they don't even scratch the surface of how badly I want to be with you. And until they put a price on Heaven and Earth, I never will."

"I just don't think you know how incredible you are." I cried, tears now rolling down my cheeks. What did I want? What was I trying to say? Whatever it was, I just didn't want to hurt over this anymore. "You are so beautiful in every way. You should find somebody exciting, and rich, and good looking, and all the other things that I can't give you. You're perfection, Mitchie, and you need perfection in return. I don't think you'll ever understand that."

He put his gentle hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently, and it made my eyes burn, the fire being snuffed out by a steady flow of tears. He said, "And without you in my arms...there is no perfection. I don't think you'll ever understand that."

The bastard had an answer for everything. "I just....I just don't want you to be embarrassed by me." I dropped my head to the floor, ashamed that I couldn't be more for him.

"_Embarrassed_? What are you _talking_ about?" I didn't want to say any more. This whole thing was silly enough. Dammit, why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't I have more, why couldn't I be one of the snotty brats at school with no conscious at all? It must be awesome to live in a fantasy world like they do. A world where they feel like a king all the time, a world where they honestly believe the world owes them a favor, that people worship the ground they walk on. What do I have? Insecurities...damn insecurities. "Jack, talk to me. Aren't you even gonna _look_ at me?"

It took a few seconds for me to finally turn around, but I couldn't look him in the eye for too long. So my gaze kept going down to his chest instead. It made it a little bit easier to say. "I know you're ashamed of me, and I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry! I wish I could be different, but I just can't. I'm just stuck here in this house, in these clothes, in Bobby's car...it's like I'll never be able to escape it, no matter what I do. And I know you don't want me in your house, and I know you don't want your parents to know that we still hang out, and I know...."

"Wait, wait...you...you think I'm ashamed of you? That's what this is all about? Oh dude...dude come here..." And Mitchie pulled me close to him, kissing me on the forehead and wrapping his loving arms around me as my tears soaked into his shirt. "Dude, I'm not ashamed of you. I could never be ashamed of you. You're the most caring, funny, lovable person I've ever met in my life. You never have to wear a mask for me, baby. Or for anybody, for that matter. You can have fun and just be alive, just be in love. You have so much dude. I'm not ashamed of your situation...I'm ashamed of mine."

That was a bit hard to understand, what in the world did he have to be ashamed of? "What do you mean? You have everything, what more could you possibly want?"

"What do I _want_? Jack, I want to run down to the corner store to stuff myself on junk food until I get sick. I want to play basketball with a group of kids who are more concerned about the score than they are about breaking a sweat in their new designer 'active wear'. I want to come home to a parent who bakes brownies and plays cards with me instead of just ignoring me all of the time. A parent who will care when I'm out late and don't call them to let them know I'm alive. I want to be able to get dirty without a grown up throwing a fit. I want to go to school and have fun without people piling nominations for sports and councils and clubs on my desk. I want to be friends with people who like me and not just be lured in by the fact that the others think of me as being someone 'with potential'. I want parents that will drive me to school or take me to a friend's house instead of being driven around by some hired guy in a uniform. I want what you take for granted, Jack. I just want to be 'normal' and not some candidate for Mr. Popularity." He took my face into his hands and wiped a few tears from my eyes. "More importantly...I want you, Jack. All I've _ever_ wanted was you. Because I love you, and nothing else in this world means more to me than what you and I have together. Nothing."

I looked up into his eyes, and the water in our eyes seemed to cause both of our specs to glow with affection. To think that we loved one another so much that we actually envied each other for our faults. I suppose looking at someone's life from the outside is always the best place to see it from. It never occurred to me that he might not enjoy being so wonderful, that he could possibly feel any pain or grief at all. I didn't see anything wrong with him at all, not a single shiny hair out of place, not a single personality trait that seemed out of whack. To think that he grew so incredibly perfect out of a family and atmosphere that seemed so cold at times, was even more amazing. It was a magical moment that we shared, our eyes locked together, embracing with all the love we had to give, and we came together in a passionate kiss that left us both breathless. I loved this boy so much it hurt to even try to analyze it. Where would I be without my Mitchie?

"Do you mean it? Please...promise me that you're telling the truth." I whimpered between kisses.

"I'll only be telling the truth when you believe me. When you trust me enough to make it true. I just wanna love you...if you'll let me. Only if you'll let me."

"I will. I swear to you that I will." I leaned up and kissed him again, letting my feelings go and give in to the feeling he was giving me. It's so hard sometimes, actually allowing yourself to believe that something like this could ever be possible in your life. That it could bring out this level of complete bliss without there being some level of deception. Love...it's the truest delusion I know.

Our lips molded together perfectly. A kiss had never been more heartfelt. We didn't even use our tongues for the first five minutes, content to just hold each other, happy to just connect in some way that was real. We laid back and our lip lock increased in intensity. It was a confusing emotion to feel at that moment, to have to choose whether to bask in the pleasure he was giving me, or to concentrate on giving him twice as much pleasure in return. And as his boyish breath transferred from his body into mine, we crushed our bodies together right away, our tongues darting outwards to connect even more. We pushed and gyrated in an erotic slow dance for what seemed like an eternity, not a single article of clothing coming off. My whole body tingled as we rolled back and forth on the bed, Mitchie on top of me for a minute or two, only for us to trade positions shortly after. It was as if my entire body wanted to explode, but my heart held until it was finished loving the boy that gave it life, gave it meaning. It was a euphoria that lifted me from reality and into that strange world of dreams, that world where you can believe and disbelieve simultaneously. Mitchie was the only one who ever made me feel that way. He's the only one who ever will.

"I love you, Jack." He whispered with a smile.

It was so hard to keep from falling asleep like that, but we had to fight it off. Didn't want to oversleep and wake up to my mom asking me what the hell was going on here. But the more Mitchie told me he had to go, the more I begged him to stay. We never wanted to leave each other's arms, we could easily stay that way forever. I even persuaded him to stay a bit longer with a long, slow, and steady blowjob before letting him leave. But once Mitchie got up, it seemed like half of my soul got up with him. To love someone that much is a magic I won't even insult trying to describe.

Mitchie did make it home, and left me in the house giggling to myself and feeling like a little kid at Christmas. I danced around the living room for a while, wondering if there was any way for me to burn off this lovely burst of energy. It was a jittery feeling, an incredible sensation that enhanced my outlook on life in every possible way. I was literally shaking. I sat down on the couch and watched TV for a while. I wondered if maybe I should give Mitchie a call, just to say hello. I didn't want to seem weird or too clingy...as always. But I couldn't help smiling to myself, impatient with my hesitation because I _knew_ that I was going to head for that phone eventually. I thought about it for a few minutes more, and even though he had just left the house an hour or so ago, I just had to hear his voice again. He was just so cute! And I was more in love than my pride could handle. I finally got up and walked over to dial his number. But, again...before I even picked up the receiver...

...The phone rang.

How in the hell does Mitchie always know? Hehehe!


	14. Chapter 14

It was one of those days where the rain seemed to just materialize out of thin air in the early afternoon. It started out your average sunny day, and by the time you got a chance to look out of the window again, the storm was already in progress. As I came out of my second period class, I saw Mitchie waiting to walk with me to my next classroom as always. But he seemed preoccupied with the rain at the moment. He was sitting on one of the school's large window sills and staring out into the storm, lost in a dream world of his own making. As I approached him, his incredible aura shining brightly as he subconsciously tugged at his lip, it almost felt wrong to snap him out of it. I just kept walking closer, admiring his beauty as his gaze pierced the window and danced in the rain outside. His face was so blank at that moment. As though his mind and spirit were content to just be completely absorbed in his thoughts. His hair was perfection, his slim body leaned delicately against the glass, one leg propped up and one foot on the floor. It was so beautiful a sight that it was almost enough to make me as nervous as I was the first day I saw him on the morning bus. It was that sudden lightning strike of reality that made me say "Wow! I'm actually in love with this boy!" I walked right up to him without him even seeing me, and quietly sat down beside him. "Hey..." I mumbled, still drawn to his peaceful appearance.

"Oh...hey Jack. Sorry, I was just thinking." He smiled at me, but never once lost that calmness in his demeanor. That dazed appearance that let you know that he was in a whole different dimension at that moment. The best part of all that, however, was that he was willing to invite me into it with him.

"Thinking about anything special?" I asked.

"Just how much I love you. And how much I wish I could be enjoying this rain with you...somewhere else...alone." He sighed, and even though he was still smiling weakly, he seemed kind of sad about it. Like his longing was causing him pain somehow. My heart went out to him. It'd be a living fantasy to be able to run of with him into the downpour and kiss him with all of the emotion that I had to give.

"Yeah....me too." I answered sincerely. We were in a hallway full of students, so even the slightest touch of his shoulder, or show of 'un-manly' affection, could mean exposure. That alone kept me from expressing myself fully, cautious of what would and would _not_ be considered anything more than a sign of a close friendship between two boys. Anything else was....you know....'taboo'. I hated this. Mitchie evidently had something on his mind, and good or bad, no matter what the reaction of our so-called peers, I wanted to hold him. I wanted to plant a kiss on his lips and hug him close to me while I whispered sweet phrases and comforting words in his ear. If only we lived in a world where people minded their own business...something like that might be possible.

"I'm sorry. I hope that I'm not being weird." Mitchie said. "It's just..." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "It's hard not to want you sometimes."

"I know. But the good thing is...once we get out of here, you get to have me. Remember?" I was hoping to cheer him up a bit, and if it didn't work, he at least pretended that it did.

We kept our eye contact for a while, and I felt it in my heart when his smile returned to his face. "So are you still coming over tonight?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." I told him. "But I told an old friend of mine that I'd come to his party first. I'll just be hanging out for a few minutes or so. Then I'm all yours dude. Lord knows I wouldn't pass up a chance to spend time with _your_ family." I said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Hey now! You know, it may sound like total bullshit to you, but I think they're really starting to like you, Jack. Seriously."

I looked him right in the eye. Mitchie was a good student, an awesome friend, and an even _better_ kisser...but he was a terrible liar! I tried to play along with a grin. "Oh really now? They 'really' like me, huh?"

"Yeah. Why just yesterday they were telling me how much they...um...well...they were just saying how..." After allowing him to fumble around at it for a few moments, I just smiled and raised an eyebrow. He gave it a rest, knowing the gig was up. "OK! OK already! You got me." He said.

"Uh-huh....I thought so."

"But they _mean_ well, honestly. Don't take it too personally, ok? My family doesn't like anybody. You don't know how hard it is to get them to like _each other_ half the time."

"Exactly. And that's while I'll be doing all I can to stay out of their way all night so they don't have to deal with my awful presence in their precious kingdom."

"I know, I know...I'm sorry dude. Trust me, if I could trade in my family for a new model, I would. But I still want you to come...for me? They won't bother you too much. I'll do what I can tonight to keep them away from you. I promise."

"Don't worry. I can take a few punches if it means spending time with my favorite guy. It's not like they have to like me."

"Jack..."

"No, it's alright. Really."

"No...no it's not alright. They're going to be nice to you tonight or so help me...I'll threaten them by saying that I'll turn gay and not produce them any children to inherit the family _jewels_." He got a smile out of me, and I saw him giggle playfully in response. I couldn't help but want to kiss him all the more. Right then, right there. I leaned closer, so tempted, so intrigued about what would happen if all these people were to find out that their golden boy was in love with the school outcast. To see what would happen if we were able to freely display what our hearts already knew was the truth. But paranoia always got the best of me, imagining the worst possible case scenario for us both in retaliation for finding out we were 'fags'. So I just settled for being close enough to catch a whiff of the wonderful scent that was Mitchie's shampoo from his morning shower. Then I regretfully leaned back against the wall. But he knew that my soul was kissing him lovingly at that very moment, and I saw a warm shiver go through him as he returned the invisible lip lock with the shine of his pretty eyes.

I smiled sweetly in Mitchie's direction, and held my eye contact long enough to let him know that what I was feeling was getting stronger. He could practically read my mind at this point, and I saw that recognition of my affections in his smile. My hand awkwardly reached forward. I just_ had_ to touch him. My heart wouldn't let me go another second without feeling his shirt, his skin, his hair...oh God, I wanted to be with him so badly right then. Instead, I let my hand land on his collar, my thumb secretly rubbing a small smooth area of his neck. I wasn't sure if it made him 'frisky', or saddened him more to not be able to touch me back right away. But there came a moment when the touch wasn't enough. So with a quick glance to make sure the coast was clear, I mouthed the words 'I love you' and he responded the same way, his grin forcing an electric charge to dance up my spine. He stood up, giving me his hand, and helped me to my feet to walk me to class. But just as we pulled ourselves away from the rainy portrait of the window, I saw Chris standing on the other side of the hall. He was looking right at me, _staring_ in fact, and I didn't know how long he had been standing there. I stopped in my tracks, wondering what kind of rude asinine remark I could expect from him. But he didn't say anything at all this time. It was only because Mitchie was there, I'm sure. Everybody loved Mitchie, and wouldn't take the chance of not being on his bright side. If I had been alone though, he probably would have gotten a few cheap shots at my self esteem before going to his next class. It was his duty as 'someone better than me' to remind me of how low I was on the totem pole. However, as strange as it sounds, and as much hatred as he had for me, I think he actually had this feeling of _respect_ for Mitchie. Even though Mitchie was probably more like a 'competitor' to his image than an actual friend, I think a part of Chris actually wanted to get to know Mitchie and be on his side. Like he had plans to form an alliance and have the two of them take over the entire school together. They would probably succeed too if it ever happened. It was a weird concept, but most of the kids who wouldn't spit on me before, all took notice of me now. They hated me and admired me at the same time. After all, Mitchie was a bit of an enigma to everybody but me. I was the only one he told his secrets to, the only one he ate lunch with, the only one he spoke to in the halls. At least at any length. The others tried to get close to him all the time. Oh man how they tried! But he didn't want to be closer to them. All he wanted was me, and he never hesitated to tell me so. How's _that_ for an ego boost.

Chris just kind of looked at me, and then walked away without a single word. I don't think Mitchie even noticed he was there. And if he did, then he didn't care. Just as well, nobody needs to be reminded how much people despise them all of the time. Mitchie and I walked all the way down the hall and he dropped me off while heading on to his next class. There was such a feeling of...I don't know...this tingly sensation that flowed freely through my body whenever I thought about him. Or talked about him. Or thought about him. Or even heard his name. I just used 90% of my day to think of my boyfriend moving in slow motion, savoring every detail. Every breath that I took was a treasured one, and it made it seem like the whole _world_ was full of gumdrops and lollipops. I had been told how silly and goofy love could be. And I always thought that the whole idea was a corny vision created by some guy with the creativity of a potato. Always thinking, 'fine, you're in love. But for God's sake quit being so stupid about it!' I always thought that it would never be me grinning like some idiot and making kissy faces across a crowded room. Not me! But those weren't just crazy visions. It wasn't the cheesy ramblings of a five year old or the result of a mushy greeting card. It was really like that! When the love is real, it truly is that silly, that fun, that spectacular. To just want to touch and be close to someone every single second of the day! To think about them constantly. To know in your heart, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you would deny your soul mate absolutely nothing...that's a hard feeling to have, much less describe. Nobody realizes it when it's happening to them, but looking back on it, they all go, 'what the hell was I on back then?' I wonder if I'll ever look back at myself ten years from now and see just how utterly ridiculous I am whenever Mitchie is around me. Who knows? Who cares? As long as Mitchie is still in my arms that day, so we can share that laugh together.

I should have known that it was coming, but there was no way to avoid it, so why try? I later went to my gym class and of course, Chris was in there getting dressed and cracking jokes with a few of the others. I just walked passed him, hoping to get away without the hazing. Psh! So much for THAT strategy! "What's up, 'slug'?" He said. He'd recently started calling me that. About two weeks earlier, if I remember correctly. As if 'Jack The Destitute' wasn't enough of an insult. Anyway, by calling me 'slug', he was implying that I just lived and rummaged in filth. Wonderful. just wonderful. You know, for an asshole with the brains of an empty milk carton, he had an interesting creative spark every now and then.

I ignored him, even with his cronies watching and egging him on with their laughter. I just didn't have the heart to battle it out with the likes of Chris at that moment. Life was good, and the last thing I needed was another headache. I just got undressed in my own little corner of the locker room without making any contact at all. After he tried to get a rise out of me two or three times without a reply, he got tired of the game and just blew me off. I guess Bobby was right. That trick really does work every once in a while. So after a few minutes, the room started to empty little by little until only Chris, me, and a few stragglers in another part of the locker room remained.

As Chris stripped down to nothing but his boxer shorts, I was tempted to look again. To catch another glimpse of that sweet body of his...you know… not that I was interested! Because I wasn't. Just...one more look, that's all. What can I say, he had a really cute ass! I can't help but tell the truth...it was mouthwateringly round and perky. _Definitely_ drool-worthy. If only I could detach it from the rest of him and take it home with me. His class was having swimming lessons now, so I knew that he'd be changing into his tight little Speedo trunks any second, and I'd get a chance to let my eyes roam over those globes just like they did last time. I can't believe that I'm actually looking forward to this. After all he's done to me, I should be looking for a sharp object to fucking shank him with! And yet, here I am, ready to mentally feast on his smooth teen flesh as it is displayed in the raw right here in front of me. So I slowed down with my activities getting into uniform, and took a few sneak peeks at what he was up to. I kept glancing over, out of the corner of my eye, and that's when I saw him pull his shorts down. Exposing the beautifully tan-lined cheeks that I had been dying to see again since the first time. I looked directly at them as he bent over to take them off. I held my breath, making sure that he didn't catch me watching, and I kept my eyes glued to those fabulous ass cheeks of his. Jesus...they were so...so...juicy looking! I wanted to bite into them like a ripe peach! Especially when he put his swimming gear on, each leg going into the hole, watching his long strong legs and sweet apple cheeked bottom wiggling into his trunks. Mmmmm...it was very cool to see. I was trying hard not to stare openly at what was going on, but it was hard not to look. They were such taut little buns, with a smooth, tight, frictionless surface that made you want to just reach out and grab them.

Then, just as I was taking an especially long look at him, mentally licking the surface of that cute ass, he turned around. I saw a flash of his testicles, the ridge of a well sculpted, nicely sized penis, and a thin blond patch of pubic hair. It had whipped around so fast that it jiggled slightly, and I wasn't able to look away fast enough to maintain my innocence. So I just diverted my eyes to the floor and prayed that he didn't catch me looking.

"What are you doing?" He asked. He seemed slightly irritated.

"Who _me_?" Nice stall tactic, dork! "Nothing...." And I attempted to pretend that it never happened. But I could tell that he was watching me out of the corner of his eye. Did he know? Have I just given him the ammo he needed to truly destroy me forever in the eyes of everyone else in the school forever?

"Jack..." He started, sounding like he was about to pound the shit out of me, but just then, half the Lacrosse team came into the locker room and stopped to pat Chris on the back.

"Chris! Dude! Listen, we've got this little 'project' going on this afternoon, why don't you come join us?" Said one of them.

"I already told you guys...I don't want anything to do with that. And you shouldn't either. It's wrong." Chris said, and they mocked him for it.

"Awww....look who's growing a heart all of the sudden. You've gotta be there. It's gonna be hilarious. We've got this kid so backwards that he won't know what hit him."

But Chris refused. "No way. I don't even know what kind of kick you guys are getting out of this. It's just stupid, leave it alone. We've got other things to worry about anyway." Chris said. But the others just roasted him more by laughing and saying he was a wuss for not going along. Whatever they had planned, I guessed it must have been some kind of macho bullshit thing, they sure wanted Chris to go. "Come on, do you know what the coach will do to you if you guys go through with this? We can make the finals this year. Don't do it. C'mon Clint...I know you're with me. Aren't you?"

But Clint just smiled in response, and the others piped in. "Clint's the gel that's holding the whole thing together bro! He's the most important part! It's time this kid got what he deserved." Jocks...whatever. They probably were planning to scare some poor little girl senseless because she stepped on their lawn. Who knows what these lunk heads do after school? But the cool thing was seeing Chris being seen as..._normal_, or maybe even less than average, among his peers. They teased and ribbed him as an equal. I must say, after seeing most of the kids around here falling all over him like he was some kind of god, this was a totally different experience. I listened to their conversation for a while, but as soon as I heard it winding down, I decided to high tail it out of there before he remembered that I was watching him. Before he remembered to start swinging his fists in my direction. Shit...too late.

The other guys left the room before I could get fully dressed, leaving Chris in nothing but some skimpy swim Speedos. The room fell dead silent, and I looked over to make sure that he wasn't getting ready to smash me into a bloody pulp. What I saw really surprised me. He was blushing! Actually _blushing_! Like he was scared that I was going to do something perverted to him. It was weird. All this time, never even a hint of fear or shame from this boy, and suddenly he was making sure to cover himself up with his towel and looking to see if I was still watching. Hahahaha, maybe he was a homophobe in the worst way. Maybe this was the one way to scare him off for good. Ahhh....the possibilities. Finally, 'Jack the Destitute' wins a round. I walked right by him and felt good about actually getting to _him_ for a change. As I walked passed him, I stared him directly in the eye. I could see the nervous twinkle in his gaze, his breath caught in his throat, his body pressed back against the lockers and quivering slightly in my presence. I was almost tempted to shout out, "BOO", and scare the living shit out of him. But why push it? I was happy with the result as it was. It was enough to make me feel good for the rest of the school day.

Mitchie and I rode the bus home together, the rain pelting the windows harshly as the thunder rumbled around us. Mitchie always took the window seat, and as I glanced over at him, I noticed he was mesmerized once again. Looking at the reflection of the raindrops on the bus window being cast onto his face, it almost gave the appearance that he was crying. The shadows of raindrops gliding down his cheeks. "Are you alright, dude?" I asked.

"I'm fine. I just...I love rain, you know. There's such a peaceful vibe to it. A rhythm, calmness, a sound. It just fascinates me sometimes." I secretly took a hold of Mitchie's hand and put it in mine. He looked at me with an intensity that was unbalanced, more lust than anything else. I think the rain was just making him really horny! "So, you're coming to my little family gathering tonight, right?"

"Ahhhh....I suppose." I moaned.

"Jack, you _have_ to come. Don't flake out on me tonight, k?" He smiled, his finger tickling the palm of my hand.

"Yeah, I'll be there. I promise. Just as soon as I find a reason to run out of this other party I was invited to." I said.

"Who's it for?"

"Just a big get together. Some of my friends from my neighborhood. They invited me to a few other parties, but I always tell them that I can't make it. I guess, after a few rejections, I should probably go. It's not like I meant to alienate them or anything. I don't want them to think I'm ditching 'em." I said. When I thought about it, as much as I loved Mitchie, it was nice to be a part of the in-crowd once. My neighbor hood kids adored me. But I promised some people that I'd go, and I'm going. I'll just make an appearance, and dodge out twenty minutes later so at least people can say 'Derrick was here'. Then again, What if I had a great time, and left to go to Mitchie's parent's party where everybody and their children were these stuffy rich types who were all either snobs, brats, jerks, or egomaniacs? And some 'gifted' rich kids fell into all of those categories at once. They were true works of art indeed. I swear, if one more person asked me what my parents did for a living, I was going to stab them with that weird shaped utensil on my place mat that I have no idea how to use. Who cares what my parents do? I'm a teenager for goodness sakes! Tell me to stay in school, slip me a quarter, and leave me alone. What other conversation do I _really_ need to engage in with an adult anyway at these things?

"Thinking about the party?" Mitchie asked me.

"Huh? Hehehe! Shit, how did you know?"

"You always get this sick look on your face when you're thinking about my family. Kinda like the face you make when you eat an oyster for the very first time."

"I've never eaten an oyster before." I smiled.

"Well...believe me, that's the face." Mitchie grinned briefly, but then got serious and sighed a little to let me off the hook. "Listen, if you _really_ don't want to go, I won't make you. You've been to enough of my little family functions and suffered enough of their abuse to last you a lifetime. I'll understand."

"Hmmm...let me think. Will _you_ be there?" I asked.

"I kinda have to be." He said smiling sadly.

"Then I'm sure it'll be great. I'll be there. Not for them. For you." He looked back at me and seemed too dazed to even smile. "_And_ for the free food." I added. He slugged me in the arm as his smile spread out in all its glory in front of me.

"_Almost_ a sentiment that I could appreciate." He said, and I leaned over to gently butt him with my shoulder. The two of us shared that moment, and despite the hazing I was sure to get, I couldn't resist a night with Mitchie to save my life, so why even pretend that I wasn't gonna be there?

We didn't say much else for the rest of the bus ride to his house. We just exchanged some loving looks and a few secret touches of the other's leg. Then he got up and waved goodbye as he walked the rest of the way home. He left me his umbrella to keep me dry, he was always such a sweetheart, and walked through his front gate in the rain. He said he did it all because I didn't have an umbrella of my own and my house was further from the bus stop than his. He never stopped thinking about me, never. It's good to know that it wasn't just me that was addicted in this relationship. I really wanted to kiss him before he left. I'll definitely have to make up for it later.

I got home and cleaned up to get ready to go out to this party. I figured 8 o'clock was a pretty decent time to show up. You've got to pick a good time, you know? Otherwise, you'll look like a geek. Just a tip I learned the hard way, I suppose. But nothing looked right on me. All of my clothes seemed to be either too old or too fancy for a hometown party. I didn't want them thinking I had turned 'preppy' on them. I picked out something that sort of mixed up the old casual me and the new 'uptown' me. I don't think it looked too bad. Geez! I'm such a fashion misfit sometimes! Just get in the shower, Jack, and throw on something out of the dirty clothes hamper. Whatever.

The time rolled around, Bobby was able to drive me halfway on his way to work, and I splashed the rest of the way through the rain. It wasn't hard to tell which house it was, the lights and music could be seen and heard from a block away. Always a sign of a good party. The ones who were old enough to drive had cluttered the driveway, the lawn, and most of the street on both sides. This thing was evidently a little bigger than I thought it was going to be. I walked up to the front door and smoothed my hair. I checked to make sure there were no wrinkles in my clothes, and did a quick breath check. Okay, all is good. I'll just sneak my way in, talk to the two or three people who even remember my name, and then it's on to Mitchie's house. Easily said, easily done.

I rang the bell and a girl answered the door. She looked familiar, but I wasn't quite sure who she was by name. "Hey..." I said timidly, ready to explain who I was and why I was there.

But then...this look of surprise came over her face and she said, "OH...Oh my god! Jack? Kick ass! How are you?" She nearly broke my neck giving me a hug, and having her jump up and down at the same time didn't help.

"Hehehehe...I'm...I'm fine! How are...uh...you?" Whoever this girl was, she was certainly happy to see me. No need to ask her what her name was and ruin the moment.

"Come in, come in! I can't believe you made it! Hey you guys! Guess who showed up?" She yelled.

Now, mind you, I remembered a little more than half of the faces in that room, but only a _few_ of the names. The rest were reduced, in my mind to bodies to dodge in the hallways on my way to class. That's it. But you would have thought that a celebrity had shown up when I walked through that door. Suddenly people were hugging me and shaking my hand, and telling me how good it was to see me. And what did _I_ do? I just kept referring to everyone as 'sweetie' and 'dude' and 'bro' and 'hey'...hoping no one would figure out that I didn't know them from a hole in the ground. But after about fifteen minutes, not only had every last one of them talk to me, but they were introducing me to other people as their long lost 'buddy'. I began to believe my own hype and actually felt _comfortable_ with everybody. It was like being brought back to my life again. People asked about me! And my life! And my interests! Not 'how much I made' or my parents made or my stock options and college funds. They didn't look down their noses at me. They didn't brag about all the things they had and have competitions over who had the biggest house. They didn't make rude comments, talk about therapists, or pets named 'Foofie', and they didn't have summer homes to visit. They were just...normal. They played basketball and video games and enjoyed going to the mall without melting a credit card with purchases. And they liked me. It felt like being as popular as Mitchie was, or Chris, or any of them. I wasn't even equal; I was well liked by a lot of people. The guys made me feel welcome, the girls made me feel sexy. Some of them even winked at me a few times. I found myself talking to a group of people at once, instead of hiding in a corner to talk to Mitchie. It felt so damn good to be one of the 'pop' kids again. I had forgotten how cool it could be to be....well...'cool'.

I was pulled aside by a feminine touch. "Dude, Tommy Joplin got arrested for carrying a gun to school! Wendy thinks she's pregnant, but she can't be pregnant, but she thinks she is..." I had this one girl catching me up on all of the gossip, and she seemed to have a computerized database full of it lodged in her brain. But it was fun to hear her mention names that I remember. "And Billy is still here, but he doesn't talk much anymore. He just walks around all day writing in some stupid journal or something. And both Ryan and his best friend Tyler moved away, but they're not too far away. They might even show up tonight. OH...and do you remember Drew??? Dude...he's gay!"

My eyes widened. "Hahahaha! Drew? Get out of here! No way!" I said. Damn...I remember Drew as being really cute too!

"Swear to God! He came out to everybody, like, soon after you left. Is that strange or what? I never knew anybody who was gay before."

I giggled wickedly to myself. "Yeah, well, you never know."

I looked at my watch, and realized that I had already been there for an hour an a half! Geez, I was having a little too much fun. I figured that I'd just finish this punch of mine and take off. I told a few people that I had to run, and they all seemed so sad to see me go. I got handed about 15 phone numbers at once and was forced to give out twice as many. Bobby is gonna love taking messages for me over the next week or so. So far, so good. Mitchie's party had just started at 9 PM, so I won't miss much. I'll just hop on a bus, ride over to Mitchie's house, and it'll only take me a half hour. No problem.

"FUCK YOU!" I heard it come from the side of me. Evidently, two boys were involved in a little argument or something. The whole party kind of stopped to look for a moment, but they weren't really interested for long. I guess if there aren't any fists swinging, then it's no big event. Then this cute kid with blond hair starts pushing his way past people quickly, and heads straight for me. He bumped my hand pretty hard as he stormed past, and the remaining half cup of my punch splashed out and right onto my shirt. The boy just kept going, no apology or anything. I sat there with this giant red stain on my shirt, feeling the ice cold liquid seeping through it to freeze my chest with its arctic touch. Okay....so maybe I'll go home first and change again. One _full_ hour to get to Tanner's instead of a half. Not too bad, I guess.

Instead of saying good bye to any more people, and possibly filling my pockets with even more tiny slips of scribbled on pieces of paper with phone numbers, I decided to sneak out the back door. "Import beer man. It rocks!" Someone shouted out. Okaaaay....whatever pal. Sleep it off man. I went out the back way. I saw an old buddy that I actually recognized sitting out on the steps watching the rain, and figured I'd say a quick hello on my way out.

"Aaron, what's up man? Long time no see." He smiled when he saw me, but only halfheartedly. Great, I finally remember somebody's name, and they're not in the mood to talk.

"My, my, my. The prodigal son has returned. How are they treating you up there in 'pretty pretty' prep school, dude?" He said.

"They're nice...well...not _'nice'_...but, you know...they're....they're..."

"Treating you like shit, huh?"

"Yes! Every single day. Hehehehe! I'll survive though." I laughed.

"You should have done like Ryan and Tyler, man. Move someplace somewhat normal. I'll bet you they're not having any troubles at all out there." I could still tell that there was something wrong with him, no matter how natural he appeared. There was sadness in his tone. Behind his eyes, even. So I figured I'd lighten things up a bit.

"So...where's Craig? It's not normal to see you two apart for more than a minute. You two still drawing comics and stuff?" I was hoping to cheer him up, but that evidently backfired. Aaron seemed to get even more disturbed than he was before, and got up from the stairs right after I said it.

"Actually...um...we...we don't talk anymore." Oops, I think I picked the wrong subject.

"Oh....oh wow....dude, I'm sorry to hear that."

He looked down at his feet. It almost looked like he was ready to tear up. "Yeah...me too."

"I didn't mean to bring up any bad...." But he interrupted me.

"Don't sweat it. No big deal. it was good to see you Jack. Don't be a stranger, k?" Then Aaron brushed himself off and walked away. This wasn't turning out to be such a great night for _him_, that's for sure. I looked at my watch and headed on out to catch the first bus to Mitchie 's place.

"Hey, have you seen Taylor around?" Somebody asked me. Another familiar face, but not one that I recognized. Some track team type with dark hair. Good looking though.

"Taylor, who?" I asked.

"Ah, nevermind. I'll find him. He's got to be around here somewhere. Say, good to see ya again, Jack. Take care man." And then he ran in the house. Great, another person who knows my name. I hardly remember his 'face', much less his name. I started walking around the outside of the house when I ran into somebody else.

"Hey, Jack. Say, have you seen Jordan around here?" What do I look like, an information booth? Where were these people coming from anyway?

"Jordan, who?"

"You know...Jordan." Oh yeah, like that clears everything up.

"Taylor, right?" He nodded his head and I made the assumption that the other kid was who he was looking for. "I think he just went into the house."

"Thanks bro. Take it easy." And _'Taylor'_ ran in to join him. As fun as it was being recognized, it wasn't the same. I felt the love, the friendship, and all of that. But I was out of the loop. I didn't feel that 'connection' anymore with the rest of them. I mean, kids were moving away and coming out of the closet and breaking records at the old arcade and getting new stepbrothers...and that 'Justin' guy from my history class seemed to have disappeared off the face of the Earth without a trace. How was I supposed to somehow fit back in as a piece of this puzzle when I have been so far removed from it for so long? Weird. I took one last look at the party, and then walked away without turning back. I'd be back one day, sure. I'll keep in touch, make a few more appearances, and have a good time. But...this isn't where I belong. Not anymore. It didn't feel right. Even with all of the merciless hell the new school put me through. With Mitchie is where I belong. And all the intolerant bullshit that surrounds him doesn't change how I feel about him one bit. His family and classmates will just have to learn to like me. Because I'm not going to just go away. In fact, I'm getting closer everyday. So they will either deal with it or they won't. That's that. To hell with going home, I'm going to Mitchie's house straight from this party, just like I planned.

As the bus took me across town, I began to feel better and better. About myself, about my relationship, about everything. It was uplifting. For the first time, I was standing on the line between my present and my past, and I felt like I could easily stand alone. Even better...I could move _forward_. I didn't need the attitudes and snotty comments, I didn't need the praise and the recognition...I didn't need to stand on either side of the equation. All I needed was the ability to stand on my own two feet. And realizing that for the first time can be a very liberating feeling indeed. Especially when you know you're going to wander through the lion's den. With a stained shirt, no less.

The bus dropped me off and I walked the last block or two without getting too soaked in the rain. The last thing I wanted to do was track mud all over Mitchie's house and have his family think I was raised by pigs or something. But as I neared the house, waiting for the usual 'what are you doing here' look from the doorman, that enlightened feeling of confidence came back to me with a vengeance. The rain seemed to wash away any doubt that I had about being there, about being with the boy I love. I quickened my pace, and soon my mind was just overflowing with a burst of self esteem. To hell with them. I can do this. I will do this. If I could be a star in my old school, I can be a star anywhere. I went through the gate and made my way up to the house. I rang the bell, and before the doorman could even give me 'the look', I handed him my sopping wet jacket, making sure to get him at least a _little_ wet with the splash, and pushed my way past him. Fuck him too. I had a huge stain on my shirt, but screw it. I'll find Mitchie and borrow one of his for the evening. Problem solved. It felt good to be strong enough to not give a shit. Really good.

"Jack! Dude, you came!" I heard Mitchie coming up behind me, and he gave me a 'manly' hug from behind. But I could still feel the love behind it, even if he did try to make it look good. "I'm glad. I was starting to think...hey, what happened to your shirt?"

"Hehehehe, accident at the last party. Long story. Do you think I can borrow one of yours for tonight?"

He leaned forward and whispered, "You've already gotten into my pants plenty of times. Why would I worry about a shirt?" And he grinned as he started off to his room. I followed, but we had only gone a few steps before his mom stopped him. Standing in front of us with a face that looked like it was peeled off of an angry dragon and slapped onto her skull.

"Mitchie...where are you going?" She said. She looked me over, taking an obvious offense to me showing up to their little shin dig wearing a stained shirt. She didn't make any attempts to hide it with her stare either. Jack...I wasn't aware that Mitchie invited you here...'again'." Oh, _that_ was lovely. I know she's my boyfriend's mom and all, but what a fucking _bitch_!

"Hello, Mrs. Scott." I answered.

"I'm not sure you noticed, but you have a...'stain' on your shirt." She said.

"Actually...it was an accident ma'am." I refused to lower myself to her level and be rude. Unlike her, my parents raised me to have manners.

"I'm sure it was. Mitchie dear, why don't you let Jack get something out of the box that we're donating to charity. It should fit him just fine."

"Mom!!" Mitchie was appalled. His jaw dropping in embarrassment.

"That's okay Mrs. Scott. I believe Mitchie has a shirt upstairs that will fit me." Bite your tongue, Jack. Don't let them get to you.

"I...I suppose that will work too then. Fine. And maybe he'll even let you _keep_ it, so you'll have something to wear for any other parties you might go to. Then you can sit with a classy crowd." She replied. From the look on his face, Mitchie was about ready to either die of shame, or break a chair over his mother's back. Either way, I knew I didn't want any trouble. I started walking towards the stairs, dragging Mitchie behind me so he wouldn't say something that might get me kicked out of there.

"Awww...thanks ma'am. But I don't want to sit with a classy crowd. I'd rather stay here with _you_ wonderful people instead." And with that, I walked up the steps quickly. It was kind of funny to see Mrs. Scott's evil grin turn into an insulted scowl. Two points for the poor kid! Between getting recognized at the last party, spooking Chris out in the locker room, and cramming two fingers up that barracuda's ass for a change, I was three for three! It was awesome. Maybe it was the storm, or the alignment of the planets or something, but I felt like I could get away with anything at this point.

I got to the top of the stairs, pulling Mitchie into his room and shutting the door. He was still majorly pissed off. "The never of her! Dude, I'm so sorry! I can't believe she could be so mean to you! This shit has gotto stop! I'm gonna go back down there and..."

But before he could finish, I grabbed him gently by the ears, pulled his face close to mine, and planted a big kiss on his lips. I had been waiting all week to give him a big smooch like that, and it tasted absolutely divine. I broke the kiss with a loud smacking noise and looked into his eyes. Just then, he started giggling out loud. "Hehehe...what?" I asked.

"...I'd rather stay here with _you_ wonderful people instead. Hahahaha...I get it. You bitch!" He laughed.

"You're a little slow today, aren't ya?"

"Hey, I was mad. So sue me." Then he delicately wrapped his loving arms around me and kissed me with a passion that made my knees buckle. His tongue licked playfully at mine, and then he stopped to just lay his head on my shoulder and hug me. "Sigh...I love you. So much Jack, you have no idea."

"Yes...I do." I said, and I kissed him again. Then he stepped back as I took my shirt off. He looked at me as I stripped it off of me, and I could see a familiar lump forming in his pants. Then, I threw my shirt on his bedroom floor and stood bare chested in the middle of the room. He reached out to rub his hands lightly up and down my sides, kissing me on the neck. I sighed, but had to push him back a little bit. Regretfully. "Mitchie...your shirt?"

"Yeah..." He whispered, and he began to unbutton his own shirt, more and more of his smooth, flawless, chest coming into view with every button.

I snickered at him and said, "Hehehehe...no dude...your shirt! You were supposed to give me another one to wear, remember?"

"OH! Oh yeah! Right!" He laughed. "Hehehe, sorry."

Mitchie had the cutest blush forming in his cheeks, and it made me smile. "You were gonna 'do' me right here with your mother and a party of people downstairs?"

"Um...no..." He giggled shyly.

"Oh my God...you were, weren't you?"

Mitchie buttoned up his shirt again and reached in his closet to throw me one to put on. "Maybe." Seeing him turn the cutest shade of pink while letting that sensual smile cross his thin lips, just made me run over and kiss him again and again. He was so adorable when he was being bashful.

"We'll have time for that later. I promise." I said, and I rubbed the front of his pants tenderly as he buttoned up my shirt for me. And boy did he take his sweet time, enjoying the sensations rushing through him as my hand massaged and stroked his hardened need for me. Our eye contact never swayed during the whole process, and when he was finished, we were both tempted to lock the door and go at it right then and there. But we settled for another few quick kisses and decided to get back to the party. I've never felt so full of emotion as I did in Mitchie's presence.

Instead of going downstairs right away, Mitchie sat me down on the top step to talk for a while. After all, he had to wait for his little 'problem' to go down before he could be around people again. On the winding staircase, we could look down on the whole party, and Mitchie began to spread a little gossip of his own. Like the girl at the last party, but believe me, rich folks have much better gossip. "Now...you see that guy down there? He's got this weird fetish about ladies shoes."

"Lady's shoes? He gets off on that kinda stuff?" I asked.

"Yeah! And that lady down there, that's his wife, she's cheating on him with the fat, bald guy in the corner. And he's cheating on her with one of his secretaries. Now, the secretary has been having sex with two guys at once from the same law firm, and I hear that one of those guys is actually sleeping with somebody who goes to our school!" He totally shocked me with that one.

"What? Like a teacher, right?"

"Nope! A 14 year old boy!"

"Awww...dude! No way!" We laughed ourselves silly for about twenty minutes on that top step. He knew every story, every dirty little secret. It was so cool. They had all spent so much time snooping into each other's business to find out how they made their individual fortunes, that all of the other secrets just kind of unfolded with them I guess. The things I heard, my God. And I'm supposed to be the outcast of this crowd?

"Oh, oh...dude, watch this!" Mitchie said, getting up on his knees to look closer. I moved over to get a better look, and saw two ladies wearing the same dress standing pretty close to each other. "Now watch! That's Mrs. Jansen, and she hates to not be the only one in a room to be wearing a certain dress. I just saw her slip 100 bucks to the cocktail waitress, no doubt to get her to spill that last glass of red wine on the other lady. And the other lady is Mrs. Henglemeyer, and she just gave 100 bucks to that waiter to spill hot soup on Mrs. Jansen!" The whole thing sounded so ridiculously immature. Like a game some kids in the 3rd grade would play. I didn't believe it and figured he was pulling my chain. But, as I watched closer, I saw the cocktail waitress move into position. And sure enough, with a fake 'oops', she spilled the drink all over Mrs. Henglemeyer and made it look like an accident. The dress was ruined, and the two ladies exchanged a dirty look before Mrs. Henglemeyer walked off. What a bunch of jerks! Mitchie and I laughed to ourselves, trying not to be discovered at the top of the stairs where we were safe. But it was too hard to hold it in. Then Mitchie, while almost out of breath said, "Wait...wait...watch the waiter pocket the other hundred without spilling the soup!" And once again, Mitchie had the whole thing down to a science. Hahahaha! Rich people, gotta love them.

"Mitchie. There you are. Come on down here sweetheart." Drats. His mother had found us out.

"Uh oh...she's being 'sweet'. That means she's going to show me off to somebody like the racehorse I am. look, this is embarrassing enough for me already. Why don't ya just walk around a bit and I'll meet up with you in a few minutes. K?"

"Sure."

"Love you."

"Love you too." I whispered back, and I watched as Mitchie fixed his hair and walked down the stairs to have some people he didn't know tell him what a handsome little heartbreaker he is. Sometimes, I really didn't envy him at all.

I made my way to one of the other rooms and helped myself to a tray full of some squished up croissant sandwich type thingy that tasted a bit like ham and mayonnaise. It was good, but I couldn't define it if I wanted to. I was going back for more when I accidently bumped into somebody. "Oh, excuse me." I said. But when the other person turned around...it was Chris! "Oh...it's you."

"Geez, does Mitchie have to carry you everywhere? You're like some ugly old luggage that nobody can seem to get rid of." It's nice to know that, even dressed up and looking good, he can still be an asshole.

"Funny, I didn't see your name on the invite list. I'm surprised they even let you in." I said.

"Of course I'm on the list. My dad has got more cash than half of the people here thanks to a few good investments and some business sense. And now he owns an entire chain of restaurants all along the..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...that's nice." I said. "Great talking to you, Chris. We'll do this again sometime. And thanks for not boring me or anything, ok?" And I just started to walk away. So he's got money, big deal. Who cares? Who needs it?_ I_ need it. If I had that much money, Bobby would never have to work again. Ah well, there's always the lotto.

"Jealous?" He said. Why the heck was Chris following me?

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don't want to hear it?"

"Don't want to hear it because you're jealous. Go ahead, say it. I know you are."

Just then, Mitchie came over to join me. "Sorry about that. Say, come here, I want to show you something."

" Mitchie, my man. What's up bro?" Chris said, looking for a handshake.

"...Hey Chris. Glad you could make it. Come on Jack, this way." Mitchie said it so unemotionally that it was hard not to laugh in Chris' face. Mitchie wasn't rude, but I doubt that Chris really registered on his radar as far as friends was concerned, and I know that had to be eating away at him! Especially since he's got half of the school thinking he's some kind of god. Jealous? Of him? Hardly, I had what I wanted. Let's see him top that.

Mitchie took me into this half empty room, and sat down at a piano. "So...what do you want me to play?" He asked.

I gave him a strange look. "You play piano???"

"Hehehehe yeah. Since I was about 7 years old. So what do you want to hear?" He smiled up at me, and I felt that magnetic pull between us, begging me to kiss him again. I told him that I didn't know any..._piano_ songs. So he pulled me down to sit on the bench next to him and began to play this soft mellow intro. It sounded like some kind of classical piece for first couple of seconds, and then all of the sudden, he began banging out Little Richard's "Tutti Frutti" as hard as he could on the keys. I laughed out loud, and some of the guests looked over to see what the heck was going on. We tried singing along, but were laughing too hard to really manage more than a few words at a time.

" Mitchie! What have I told you about playing games on that piano!" His mother hollered. "You play something 'decent' or don't play at all." He leaned over to playfully butt me with his shoulder and just played around on the keys a little bit. He was doing it much more quietly now after being scolded. But the smile on his face let me know that he didn't really care. He was just happy to be there with me.

I could see it in his smile, in the sparkle that danced in his eyes, and somehow....I knew he could see it in mine.

"I can play too." Came a voice from behind us. We lost the privacy of the moment, and looked up to see Chris standing over us...again.

"What?" I said, obviously annoyed.

"The piano. I can play a few things too. My teacher showed me a few tricks here and there. Watch, scoot over a bit." He said, forcing his way onto the bench. I was almost at the end of my patience as far as his attempts to get in good with Mitchie were concerned. Mitchie stood up and Chris sat next to me. He started to play some complicated classical piece, and it was well done. Really good in fact. But I hated him so much that I just didn't care. It was the kind of crowd pleasing display I could expect from someone like him. He kept playing and reaching over me, so I decided to rattle him a little bit. I remembered the horror on his face in the locker room, and used it to my advantage. I leaned closer to him while he was playing, and put my hand on his thigh.

"That's really good, Chris. Do you know 'Great Balls of Fire'?" I asked, giving his leg a playful squeeze. Chris practically flipped out and screwed up every note for the next few minutes. He looked so nervous. It was hilarious. It looks like I've found a secret weapon. Or more appropriately, a form of pest control.

"Why don't we give you some more room to play, Chris?" Mitchie said, pulling me up from the bench. I couldn't help but giggle happily to myself. Chris took a few seconds to recompose himself, and then he started to play again. As he was doing so, Mitchie and I snuck out of the room and went back up stairs. We closed the door again, and as soon as we were sure the coast was clear, Mitchie turned off the lights and we resumed our little game of tonsil hockey in the dark. Let Chris entertain all he wants, I'm sure somebody down there will give a damn. The darkness contained the sexually charged smacking our lips, the slow motion of our tongues intertwined. I was so thirsty for him, all the time, it never stopped being my number one focus. The rain outside was surrounding us with the most melodic sound of hypnotic drops. It was like a lullaby, and it made me want my lover even more. I leaned back against the wall, and Mitchie pushed up against me. He used his hands to balance as mine traveled down to knead the soft cheeks that had given me so much pleasure in the time that I've known him. He sighed, his breath passing from his lungs into mine as we hungrily tasted each other's kiss. Our breathing increased and I was so stiff that I thought I would burst out of my pants any minute. He was softly..._rhythmically_...grinding against me while we kissed; his smooth circular motions making me shiver. A soft moan escaped my lips, and I crushed him against me, kissing him even harder than before.

"Mitchie? Mitchie, honey. Where are you?" We could hear his mother searching for him again. I swear, that lady was one hog call away from being locked in a fucking _closet_ for the rest of the night!

"Shhhh!!! Wait a sec." Mitchie whispered, and he released his arms from around my waist to go listen at the door. "Shit! She's coming! Um..._hind_!" He pushed me towards the bed, and we both scurried under it like a couple of rats. We pulled the sheet down enough so she wouldn't see us under there and kept quiet. We saw her open the door, call his name again, searching around like some kind of evil sentinel guard or something. Then she just left. We both breathed a simultaneous sigh of relief before Mitchie began to squirm his way out. He hadn't gotten all the way out, and I held onto his legs, keeping his lower half still under he bed with me. Holding onto his belt, I slowly crawled closer, stretched out on my stomach, and I pressed my face along the insides of his spongy thighs. I inhaled deeply, the scent of his sex filling me up. It was dizzying. The heat coming from him was so deliciously warm, and he grinned as he looked down at me. He leaned back on the floor, and I moved up far enough to bury my face in the groin of his pants. I rubbed my hungry lips back and forth across his growing bulge and lightly chewed at his stiffness through the material. He whimpered a little and pushed himself up into my face, lifting that cute round butt of his off of the floor. My heart began to pump faster, and I was in ecstasy as my actions gave into temptation.

I unzipped his pants, using my wet tongue to lick at the flesh beneath the open front of his boxers. I savored the lingering flavor of my favorite boy, and opened the single button that was keeping me from the sex I craved. Only moments after setting his hard 6 inches free, I lovingly took Mitchie into my mouth with one long passionate suck. I immersed myself in his taste, feeling his thighs tighten slightly from the sensation. He shifted a bit to steady himself, his ass flexing with every breathless whimper that escaped his lips. I made sure to enjoy this, gradually lowering myself all the way to the base, and I held my warm lips there while Mitchie spasmed and squirmed beneath me. Working him with the gentle wriggling of my tongue. "Mmmm...oh yeah..." He whispered. "This...this is so wrong..." He giggled softly, not wanting me to stop.

I guess it was kinda daring, but that made it even better. He tasted so good, so _very_ good. I constricted the grasp of my lips around his shaft and sucked tightly as I traveled back to the tip of his hardness. I began to bob slowly on him, and he entangled his hands in my hair, giving in to the sensual heat of my mouth. My head was touching the bottom of the mattress, the bed creating a low ceiling for what I was doing to Mitchie's length, but it kept him in my mouth the entire time, and his hands kept me from bumping my head. My tongue glided back and forth over the ridge of his sculpted cut, and it drove me wild. I was humping the floor in time with my oral administrations. I knew it wouldn't take much longer for either one of us.

" Mitchie...you up here?" Came a voice from not far outside the door. It was _Chris_! He was coming up the stairs!

"Oh shit!" Mitchie yanked himself from my sucking lips with a 'slurp' and stuffed it back into his pants. I could still taste him...damn this asshole for even being here! I crawled out from under the bed and tried to fix myself so that I wouldn't stick out too much. What did he want now? Was he gonna fucking _tap dance_ for Mitchie or what?

He knocked on the bedroom door, and Mitchie turned on the lights before letting him in. "Hey...what are you guys doing in here?" He asked.

"Nothing. Just talking." Mitchie replied. He didn't really hate Chris, but he didn't know him either. Like I said, I don't think he cared one way or the other.

"Talking about what?"

"_Murder_." I sneered, upset at the interruption. Mitchie nudged me in the side with a cheeky grin. He didn't want me to be rude. Alright, alright, I suppose I could be a gentleman for the rest of the night. I mean, it was almost midnight. How much longer could this party go on for?

"Just talking about everyday shit, that's all." Tanner said. "Are you enjoying the party?"

"Yeah, it's great. You've got an awesome house. It's pretty big."

"Not big _enough_." I mumbled, and this time Chris gave me a secretive dirty look. Clearing it up quickly to talk with Tanner again.

"Well...." Tanner said, after a brief pause in the conversation, "Why don't we...go back down and grab something to eat, huh?" And that became the end of our little interlude. Next time I'm setting a bear trap outside for Mr. Wanna Be Popular here!

We led Chris back down to the party and attempted to not let him get in the way too much of our good time. But every time we tried to get some distance between us, he was right there next to us. It was like he was trying not to talk to me on purpose, just my boyfriend. I watched him with Mitchie, and he was just trying so hard to get on his good side. It was shameless. Mitchie wasn't stupid, he knew it, but he played along anyway. I attempted to play along too for a while, but it was just strange seeing Chris be nice to anybody. So it was a hard role to get into. It's hard to think that Chris was worshipping Mitchie like he was some kind of celebrity or something.

"Long time no see, kiddo." Mitchie turned to see who was talking to him, and it was Kris

"Kris Cool! What are you doing here?" Mitchie ran over and gave her a huge hug, leaving Chris in mid sentence.

"I was driving one of the limos outside tonight. It's a shit job on a night like this, but I needed the money. There's this gold digging chick at work that I'm trying to hook up with. Maybe I can get her to write her name on a hundred dollar bill, huh?" She smiled. I tell you, it was refreshing to see her again. Someone cool enough to be comfortable with who she is. And to be so wild about it too. "Anyway, my shift's over tonight, so I'm out of here."

Chris wasn't saying much to me at the moment; in fact he seemed rather uncomfortable all of the sudden. It was just him and me standing there, but he kept his eyes down on his feet and didn't utter a single word. Not even an insult. Weird...even for him. Whatever. He wasn't saying anything, so I went over to Kris and said hello. "Hey Kris."

"Jack? Awww...how are ya babe? You just can't get enough of these lovely gatherings, can you?" She smiled.

"Yeah, you know me." I said. She chatted with us for a few minutes, and then took Mitchie to meet a friend of hers. I was left standing there alone with Chris again. I think the fact that Mitchie wasn't impressed with his antics was getting to him. Good! Screw him. And since he didn't seem even the least bit interested in talking to me the way he was for Mitchie, I left him standing right there as I made my way back to the food trays. I got some stuff, and just hung out in a corner to eat. That's when Chris slowly shuffled his way over. He had a different look on his face, something I had never seen before. It was strange. "You don't look happy." I said.

"I'm fine." He said. But I could tell, he was nervous. I don't know why, but he was.

"Are you sure?" I asked, but he gave just me a really dirty look. "Look, I'm just trying to help. I'm sorry I cared."

"Like I need you to care, Slug-Boy. Save it." He said angrily. "And for goodness sakes fix your hair. You look like some kind of dork or something." He said, and he used his hand to harshly brush it out of my eyes.

I pushed his hand away quickly. "Don't touch me! What are you? My _mother_ or something?"

"Whatever. Dude, you are the most pathetic rich kid wanna-be poser that I've ever met. I don't even know why I'm talking to you."

"You know what? Me either." I wasn't sure how many times I was going to have to walk away from this brat before he got the message, but I was going to find out. I suddenly thought about having him follow us up the stairs so we could pay some waiter to push him back down and break his neck. Might be fun to watch. It would definitely put an end to this party, that's for sure.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, an incredibly loud boom of thunder came crashing down on us from outside, and a bright flash lit up the room from where a bolt of lightning must have struck not far away from there. The power surge shorted out the lights, leaving all of us in the dark. We heard some commotion from the other room. People started looking around and complaining and before long, they were reaching for their coats. Mitchie came to find me and Chris and told us that the party was basically over. If you ask me, it was just getting interesting. He gave Chris an impersonal handshake, but with a smile, to say goodnight. Me? I got a hug. Right in front of his mom. It took all I had to not look over Mitchie's shoulder and stick my tongue out at both of them.

Since Kris was still around, she offered to give me a ride home instead of riding the bus all the way out there again, and I happily ran through the rain to get in the back of her limo. I waited for a minute or two until she came back. But before she took off, she said, "Okay kiddo. Here we go. I had to pick up another little passenger, and we'll drop him off first. Ok?" And as luck would have it, bad luck that is, it was Chris again. I could swear that fate was laughing its ass off at me right about then!

"NOW who's everywhere like some ugly old luggage?" I said. He just looked at me, frowned, and climbed in the back seat next to me. He didn't say much of anything for the first five minutes of the trip home, but then he mumbled something under his breath. I couldn't quite make it out. It sounded sort of like 'I can't fucking believe this' or 'I fucking hate this'...or any combination of mumbled words. "What?" I asked, just as irritated as he was.

"Nothing."

"No, tell me what you said."

"Nothing! Got it?" What was he going to do? Punch me in the nose like some elementary school bully? Fuck him! I've already taken more from him than I should have to put up with...than ANYONE should have to put up with! And I wasn't about to be 'nice' to him now that I didn't have to!

"You know what, asshole? You don't have to ride home with me tonight! You can get your ass out and walk anytime you feel like it!" He just shook his head in disgust, but he didn't say anything in his defense. "What happened to Mr. "My Dad Owns A Chain Of Restaurants"? Shouldn't he be driving you home tonight, rich boy?"

"You shut up about my dad! You don't know a damn thing about him!" He shouted.

"Hey...pipe down back there. Let's all play nice, we don't have far to go." Kris said from the front, lowering the window between her and us. She wasn't really eavesdropping, but she knew a conflict when she heard one. So we leaned back and didn't say anything to each other for a while. But once again, he started talking first. But it was what he said next that really surprised me.

"He left me." It was like his whole voice had changed. Like all of that cocky confidence was gone and let him speak from the heart for a change.

"Wait...what?"

"He left me! Okay? He left me. He found some random bimbo at the party and he just...he left me." Chris put his head down, either from shame or from sadness. Maybe from both.

"I'm...I'm sorry dude. I didn't know." I still hated him, but far be it from me to kick somebody when they're down.

"Whatever. Just leave me alone." He pouted and I didn't push it any further. But I guess he felt bad about it, because after a few silent moments, he turned to say, "Um...thanks." It almost was enough to give me a heart attack. Chris? Being a human being? Go figure.

Suddenly, the limo came to a screeching halt. I looked out the window, and saw some little red haired kid, maybe about 10 years old or so, racing as fast as he could in the rain. There was another kid not so far behind him on the other side of the street, and they were both heading for the intersection fast. The light had changed, and the little boy just kept on going. A few cars blew their horns and scared the heck out of him, making him lose control and fall over in the middle of the street. I saw the cars stop in all four directions as the boy toppled over into a heap. The other boy looked on, but must have been in an awful big hurry, because he just kept speeding off into the darkness. A few people got out of their cars to see if the little boy was alright, and Kris was going to go too.

"You guys stay put. I'll be right back." She said, and she got out of the car. She left her blinkers on, and they filled the car with this rhythmic clicking noise that accompanied the raindrops perfectly.

Chris and I sat in silence for a moment, and that's when I said, "Look...everything aside...I really am sorry. Ok? I'll just leave it at that."

Chris glanced over at me with such a strange look. Like it was mixed up between a billion emotions at once. But it seemed like he was trying to force the hatred out to the surface anyway. That's when he frowned up again slightly and said, "Dude, your hair looks so damn stupid."

I wasn't sure whether to laugh at him or punch him in the eye. I was leaning more towards the latter. The nerve of this jerk! Then, with little hesitation, he reached over to touch it again.

"Knock it off!" I shouted, smacking his hand away again. But this time, it didn't stop there. Before I could even get his hand away from me fully, Chris swiftly jumped forward at me! And before I had any idea of what was going on...he kissed me! Right on the fucking lips! I didn't know what the hell was happening at first, and I struggled hard to get him off of me. Finally, I pushed him back against the seat across from me, and we both looked at each other, breathless after our little tussle.

"What...what the hell was _that_ all abou?" I shouted. I think it scared him, and he began to breathe really really hard. I don't think he knew what he was doing either. "Chris? Dude..."

"Shut up!" He said suddenly.

"_Shut up_? Dude, what the fuck? You just...you..."

"I said shut up\! I swear to God, if you tell _anybody_ about this, I will beat the living shit out of you on a daily basis! You got that? I will make your life a living hell! You think you've got it bad now? You haven't seen anything yet! Got it?" The look in his eyes was so intense. That mixture of fear and fury. The kind that you see on those wild animal shows where they're protecting their nest from a giant predator. "Got it?" He yelled again. I nodded, but that wasn't good enough. "Say it!"

"I won't tell anybody! I swear." That seemed to calm him down a little bit, and just then, Kris got back into the car.

"I think the little boy's gonna be alright. As a matter of fact, I think he was actually _smiling_ about the whole thing." She said. Then she looked at the emotions on our faces in the rearview mirror. "...Are you two okay back there?"

"We're fine." I said. It was hardly an incriminating reply, but Chris' gaze shot daggers at me anyway.

"Alright. I'll take your word for it. But I usually have to smoke two joints and drink a shot of Jaeger before I can get a look like that on my face." She said, and happily drove us the rest of the way home.

The car was deathly silent for the rest of the trip. Chris didn't utter a simple word, he didn't even look at me. I honestly believe he was scared to. Maybe even as scared as I was to look at him. He wanted to kill me, I could just feel it. I wrestled with my own thoughts for a while, and I wasn't quite sure what to make of all this. Did Chris...I mean....did he..._LIKE_ me? Is that even possible? Ewwwwww! That's gross! No way in hell! As soon as I get home, I'm going to gargle with bleach and baking soda until all of the germs are gone! Sick!

Kris arrived at his house first, and let Chris out of the car. He didn't say anything, not a single word, as he stepped out into the rain. But as soon as he closed the door, instead of running inside to stay dry, he turned around and looked directly at me through the window. No umbrella, no nothing. And even though it was raining, I could have sworn that some of those drops on his cheeks weren't from the rain...they were tears. The painful look in his eyes will probably be with me for the rest of my life. It wasn't anything like I ever expected to see from him. He watched the car as it drove off, keeping eye contact with me the whole way. And it left me feeling more mixed up than I ever had been before. He doesn't like me, he can't like me! Not like that! He doesn't like _anybody_!

"How are you doing back there, sweetheart?" Kris asked.

"....Huh?" I was so lost in thought that I wasn't expecting her to say anything at all. "Oh...yeah, I'm...I'm fine. I suppose."

"Did he 'say' something to you? The little spoiled brat! Don't let him get to you."

"No...No actually, he didn't. It's cool. Really."

"Alright. Just you remember that there are people out there who would give their heart and soul to you at the drop of a hat. Who cares what he says?"

"Yeah...who cares...?" I said. But I knew that something very strange had happened tonight. All day actually. One extraordinary event after the other. I guess the rain brings out the weirdest things in people. I need time to think. A lot of time!


	15. Chapter 15

The first time the phone rang that Sunday morning after the party, it had waken me out of a deep sleep. I was too groggy to get up at the time, but listened for the answering machine to pick up and at least find out who it was. I doubt Mitchie would have been calling me that early, but if it was him, I would have gladly rolled my lazy ass out of bed to hear his voice. I perked my ears up, waiting for a voice to start speaking. But as soon as the answering machine picked up, I heard a click, and they hung up. No biggie. I rolled over and easily went back to sleep. The second time the phone rang was about 25 minutes later, and when I heard them hang up on the answering machine again, I got myself too flustered to go back to sleep. Dammit! If I can't sleep in, what are Sundays for?

I pulled myself out of bed moments later, and lazily jumped in the shower. I almost laughed at the way my hair looked in the mirror. My brown locks tossed about like it had been the nest for a family of birds or something. The strange thing is...since the first time Mitchie kissed me, my reflection had somehow changed. It was brighter, sexier, happier, more complete. For some odd reason, Mitchie made me happy with what I saw. Even when I was just waking up and looking like hell. There's something about having someone want to kiss you that makes you invincible to your own insecurities. How can you not fall totally in love with the person who steals your doubts and fears away, only to replace them with passion and confidence? Whatever divine being designed this wondrous feeling of love...they were a proud craftsman indeed.

I stripped down, turning the water on as hot as I could stand it, and stepped into the shower. I don't know what felt better, the hot water running down my back, or the rising steam around me. Sigh...it was almost enough to make me fall asleep standing up. My muscles were relaxing, and the water was soothing every inch of me as it slid from my shoulder blades all the way down my back, over my taut cheeks, and down my smooth thighs as it headed for the drain. It was a peaceful moment, when everything seemed just so...so...

Then the phone rang...again! I groaned out loud in frustration, but refused to get out of the shower at this point. I tried to ignore it, silently cursing to myself at the intrusion. But you'd be surprised how freaking loud a ringing phone can seem when you're trying to ignore it. It finally stopped, and I finished washing up. I wasn't sure who it was that was calling there, but it was bugging the shit out of me! I stepped out of the shower, drying off with a raggedy old towel from the linen closet, only to hear that blasted 'siren' shooting out from the phone again once I stepped into a pair of boxers. This time, I was so agitated, that I just wrapped the towel around me, and stomped my way towards the phone half naked. I tried to hold back the aggravation in my voice, just in case it was grandma or something and I yelled at her by mistake when I picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" It was dead silent at first, but I could faintly hear some breathing on the line. So I asked again, "Hello?" Then I heard another click, and it went dead. What the hell was that about?

I hung up the phone with a slam, and started to walk away...but before I could get five steps away...the phone called me right back again! Jesus! I don't care if Mickey Mouse is on the phone, he was about to get an earful!!! "HELLO?" I shouted.

There was a gasp, and then a silence. "...uhh...." Came a voice from the other end.

"Yes?" I asked.

"...hey." Great, that helps.

"Who is this?"

"It's me...its Chris." He said. I swear, if this is another one of his stupid little pranks I'm going to reach right through the phone and choke the color right out of his eyes!

"Why the hell did you hang up on me?" I asked.

"...Um....I dunno..." Ok, somebody is being an ultra weirdo today. "Who knows?" He said.

"Well, I was kinda hoping that you would know." Then there was another silence before he was 'able' to speak again.

He cleared his throat a bit, and said, "I'm not bothering you, am I?" Exactly how should I answer that? I'm thinking, 'as rudely as possible'. But then he said, "You know, I didn't mean to bother you or anything. I...I really didn't...I'm sorry. I should go..." And that was when memories of Friday night came flooding back into my groggy mind. Chris, the worst enemy that I could have 'possibly' made at school that year, suddenly jumping me in the back seat of a limo and smashing his lips up against mine. I spent all of Friday night and Saturday morning thinking about it. Not seriously, but thinking about it nonetheless. Trying to figure out what the hell was going through his mind when he decided to kiss me. Whatever it was, I'm sure it was what inspired this weirdness as well as this morning phone call.

"No. You're not...you're not bothering me, Chris. I'm just...I'm not fully awake yet." I said. He seemed genuinely concerned about annoying me, and that was different for him. Anyway, I guess that the 'human' side of me decided to spare him from any big embarrassments or anything by trying to be somewhat 'understanding' in all this.

"Ok...ok...good." He said. Then there was another long pause afterwards. I carried the phone into my room to put some clothes on while I waited for Chris to snap out of it. I dropped the towel and put a white tshirt on. I guess he heard the rustling and he finally said, "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting dressed, why?"

"Oh!..oh. Sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Nothing. Just...sorry." Ok, this was getting freaky, even for me.

"Chris, is there something on your mind, dude?"

"Yeah..." It took him a second to get his words together in the right order, then he finally began to talk somewhat 'normally'. "Listen.........about Friday night...that wasn't really me. You know? It was just some dumb...uh...'thing'...and it was probably because I had a sneak of champagne from the party. And...and if my coach knew that I was drinking, even a little bit, then he'd be upset. So...I can't drink, but I had some, and I'm not supposed to. So...I was just hoping that you wouldn't tell him about the party. Or tell anybody else about the party, because, you know, they might tell the coach that I was drinking. And that would be bad. So, I hope we can keep that...whole thing between us. You know? The drinking, that is." Chris went from silence to babbling so quickly that I hardly knew what to make of it. Not to mention that I knew for a fact that he didn't drink anything at all at that party last night. The bar was locked up tight from 'minors' the whole time. He would have needed a parent just to get him a glass of water in that place.

"Chris, if this is about the limo..." I started, but he brutally interrupted me.

"The limo? Who said anything about a limo?? I'm talking about the party. Forget the limo! This is totally different...and besides, I hardly remember the limo at all. It's a total blank. You know? It's a complete and total...."

"I won't tell anybody, Chris." I added before he got on another breathless string of phrases and stuttered excuses. "Honestly. It's our secret, I promise. Consider it forgotten." I think the admission made him feel slightly better.

He cleared his throat again gently, "Forgotten...ok...good." He said, a slight sigh of relief. Geez, the whole thing must have had him pretty shaken, because I could hear the trembling in his voice. He was literally terrified. "Forgotten. Um...you mean the drinking thing...right?"

"Of course." I went along with the game for his sake. Anything to ease his mind long enough to leave me alone.

"Good. Well...that was all I needed to talk to you about. I just wanted to make sure." He mumbled. I said goodbye, and he did the same. He hung up the phone and I just had to shake my head. Maybe this little bout of confusion on his part will force him to ease up on me a bit in school. Oooh, blackmail! A very interesting concept indeed. I smiled wickedly to myself, and went to my room to put on some music. That's when I heard the phone ring yet again!

"Hello?"

"Hey....um....uhhh..." it was Chris again!

"What now?"

"Listen...when you said you 'forgot'...did you mean the drinking thing? Or did you mean like...'everything'."

"Huh? What the hell are you talking about?" I asked.

"You know...like...'everything'? Like...you know!"

"No Chris...I don't know." I've never seen him like this before.

"Sigh...the limo thing. I mean...did you really 'forget', or are you just saying you forgot because I told you to forget it?"

"I thought you didn't remember the limo thing."

"Jack...c'mon. You know what I mean. Quit playing stupid." Chris sounded like he was frustrated too, but in a different way. Almost in a self conscious way. As though this conversation wasn't going anywhere near as calmly and smoothly as he had planned it.

"No, I didn't really 'forget' it, Chris. But I already told you, I won't tell anybody, ok? I swear, so don't worry."

"But...but you do...remember it. Right?"

"Yes, Chris, I remember 'it'."

"So...did you...like...you know...like it? wait! No! Don't answer that!" Great, now he's getting worse! "Not like it, I didn't mean that. I meant...did you...um...did you hate it? Like, just really hate it? You probably hated it, right?"

"No, I...Chris...this is really awkward here, ok?" I was stuck between my need to not hurt his feelings, and my desire to just get him off the phone.

"Awkward...awkward is cool. So you didn't hate it. Right? You didn't hate it. Ok...I can work with that."

"Work with WHAT?" I asked.

"Look, I need to see you. I'm coming over." He said. How in the hell did I get myself into this?

"Chris, you are not coming over!"

"I just wanna talk to you. Just for a few minutes, it won't hurt. I swear."

"You don't even know where I live."

"Yes I do. I paid Carter and he used his computer to break into your school files. I got your address from their mailing list. By the way, you're getting a C+ in Physics. I can get Carter to clear that up for you if you want." I couldn't believe this was happening.

"This is insane. Dude, I'm going to hang up now, and basically forget that we had this conversation." The feeling inside of me wasn't necessarily anger, but it was a close relative of it.

"That's cool. I'll talk to you when I get there. See you soon." He said. I could almost hear him smiling.

"No Chris! You are not coming over! Do you hear me? No."

"I'll be there before you can say my name."

"I said no..." But before I could get it out of my mouth, the doorbell rang. My eyes went up to the ceiling and a loud sigh escaped my lips. "I can't believe this." I whispered to myself.

"Come on Jack...just for a few minutes. Then I'll go. It might be worth your while." I didn't say anything at first, I just rubbed my eyes and tried to make sense out of all this. "I know you're home dude, I'm talking to you on the phone. C'mon, open the door, it's chilly out here. Please?" I hung up the phone and walked over to unlock the front door. Sure enough, there was Chris, cell phone in hand, and dressed to perfection. His hair was fixed and his green eyes sparkled like jewels. He smiled, and without any further invite, the beast entered my house. I shut the door behind him, completely overwhelmed at his sudden almost hostile presence in my living room.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" I said, stepping in front of him and stopping him from going any further.

"Chill out, Jack. Geez. I though you would be glad that I'm not hassling you for a change." Then he just stepped around me, and walked to the center of the living room. "So this is your house, huh? Nice. It's very...'cozy'."

"Gee, thanks. You know how we poor folk like to keep it 'cozy'. We even get to pay our rent with pop bottles and pre-chewed bubble gum." I said sarcastically.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's cool. I like it." He walked even further inside and I found myself trailing behind him. "So is this the kitchen?"

"I don't seem to remember a household tour being in your request to suddenly crash through my front door. You said you wanted to talk, so talk!" The quicker this was over with, the better.

"Straightforward, I can deal with that. I was thinking...maybe we could try being buds for a while. We really should drop this whole rivalry thing, it's getting tiresome." He said it like he was making a business proposition at a board meeting.

"Buds? Chris, you don't even like me! Remember?"

"Don't like you? What gave you that idea?" Was this kid serious?

"Um...bumping into me all the time, calling me names, telling me you hate me, saying that I'm not worthy of being a that school, calling me 'slug' in front of everybody, laughing at me at every given opportunity..."

"Ancient history. It's all forgotten about. Really, don't sweat it. Hey, is your bedroom this way?" I can't believe the nerve of him! I was speechless at this point.

He wandered around the room a little bit more, when he noticed that I wasn't moving, or even talking to him after the last comment. He seemed to soften up a bit, and walked up behind me. "Jack...I was just...I was thinking it would be cool to be closer to you. You know? To hang out once in a while. I'm sorry about that other stuff, ok?"

"That 'other stuff' really hurt my feelings, Chris. It's going to take a little bit more than a simple apology to make up for it."

Chris put is hands on my shoulders, his fingers trembling a bit, and said, "How about I take you to a movie or something. Anything you want to see. My treat. You won't even have to bust open your piggy bank or whatever it is you have." Good way to make points buddy.

"Jesus, dude..." I said, rolling my eyes, and I walked away from him.

"Sigh...no...w-w-wait. That came out...wrong. I didn't mean...forget I said it. K? Uh...hey, how about, we go out for something to eat? My driver will take us anywhere we want to go. I know where to find some awesome Italian food."

"Then why don't you go find it, and leave me alone?" I guess it was kind of mean, and he stopped blabbing for a second. But only long enough to think of some other way to build a friendship in a day. Or in this case, to just plain hit on me.

"You smell good. Just out of the shower?" He wasn't paying attention to a word I was saying. "You really should do something with that hair though, it looks..." I braced myself for another insult, but he stopped himself in mid sentence. "...it looks...ok. It's fine. Really...it's cool." I was actually a bit surprised that he didn't take the opportunity to take a shot at me. What do you know, he was actually 'trying'. I suppose people get the same feeling when they teach their dogs to bark on command.

"Thanks." I said, with just enough enthusiasm to be polite.

Then he moved closer to me, his voice shaking violently, and said, "You just...you just need...to keep it out of your eyes. That's all. I hate that." He used his hand to gently brush my hair out of my eyes, and the next thing I know, he was beginning to step forward again. This time, a hypnotic look on his face, and his eyes closing as he prepared to kiss me for the second time. Not a quick passionate reaction, he had planned on this and he was doing it on purpose this time around. This is not happening!

I pushed him back a bit while leaning my face away from his. "What are you doing?" I asked, hoping to scare him off.

"Ok...ok...I got ya. You're not into that kind of thing. That's cool, totally. Because you're straight....right?" He looked hopeful, but even though it would be lying, it was the only way to get myself out of this little predicament.

"Um...yeah. I'm...I'm straight." I answered.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that." He backed off a little bit, and I was able to calm down some. Thank goodness. Then he shot back with, "Ok...how about this?" Uh oh, I had no idea where he was going to take this now. "What if...just hypothetically speaking...what if...you and me were to 'try' some stuff..."

"What???"

"Shhh! Let me finish. What if, we tried some stuff together...some sex stuff? nobody has to know. Right? And then after a few times, if you don't like it...then we can stop." If he thought I was speechless before, he had no clue as to what I was feeling now!

"Chris...we are not 'trying stuff'. Got it? No 'trying stuff' for you and me. Not ever."

"So that's a 'maybe'?"

"That's a 'no'!" I said.

"Ok....how about this then...?" I began to push him towards the door at this point.

"How about you convince your driver to 'try stuff' with you on your way home, Chris." I said, continuing to push him closer to the door.

"Wait! Wait! Ok, I can take a hint. No sex, it's too soon anyway. I mean we just started dating."

"We are not dating!"

"Can I have a kiss before I go?"

"No Chris."

"Not even a little peck on the lips?"

"No Chris."

"No tongues, I promise."

"No Chris."

"The cheek?"

"Goodbye Chris."

"Ok, look...50 bucks...for one long kiss. One minute, you can time it if you want. And you let me...you know...'touch' ya."

"Goodbye Chris!" I shouted.

"I was kidding! It was a joke! A JOKE! Hehehe!" He giggled as I pushed him out of the door and back onto the porch. But he wasn't giving up that easy. "So you wanna catch a movie on Friday?"

"I'll think about it...and then I'll say 'no'."

"You know, you're cute when you're being a smart ass."

"Argh!" And I slammed the door shut! Oh my god he likes me! He seriously likes me! Oh sick! I feel like I need to take another shower now! I started to walk back to my room when the phone rang again. "Hello?"

"I like your boxers, cutie. They hug you in all the right places." Chris said with a grin, and then he hung up before I even had the chance to curse him out. I just hung up and went back to my room to wallow in my confusion for a while. This was certainly something right out of the freaking Twilight Zone!

On the bus the next morning, I waited impatiently for Mitchie's stop. And when he finally got on, my whole day got brighter. I swear, that boy gets more and more beautiful with every breath he takes. He took his space next to me, and smiled widely at me. "I didn't hear from you last night. I thought for sure you'd call before you went to bed." He said.

"I think I got wrapped up in some videos for a while, and by then it was too late. Besides, talking to you would have just left me breathless and made me all the more anxious to see you today." I smiled.

"Awwww...that's so gay of you." He laughed, and I slugged him gently in the shoulder. "Say, check this out, their playing the original 'Psycho' on the big screen over at the Omnimax this weekend! What do ya say we stop by and enjoy some slice and dice cinema?"

"Oh sweet! I'm there! How much are tickets?" I asked.

"A billion dollars each. But I'll sell one to you for just a blow job and a kiss." He smiled.

"Do you want the kiss before the blowjob, or after?" I giggled.

"How about both?"

"That's not in the agreement."

"Make an amendment." Mitchie's sweet smile warmed my heart, and I felt a swoon come over me.

"Deal."

We joked back and forth for a while. God, how I loved to hear him laugh. And while I could easily gaze at him and momentarily feel that stirring inside of me that wanted to hug and kiss and taste every inch of this fine specimen at any given moment...there was an abundance of moments where the two of us could just talk. Just be friends and laugh together about the simple things. In the end, that made all the difference. He was just a joy to be around. It was strange how everything in my life looked so perfect just by having him in it. I could be homeless and starving, but as long as Mitchie was right there beside me, I would be able to smile the whole day through. It was downright supernatural, the ability he had to make me feel good inside. I found myself staring at him, and smiling at the pure awe of him.

By the time we got to school, I was floating. Locked in a dreamy state where the sun was always shining and the wind whispers the name of the boy you love more than anything. Then...came gym.

Chris was already waiting down there by the time I came into the locker room to change. He smiled, and I basically kept my back against the wall to keep my distance. "Hey." He said.

"Aren't you going to be late for your next class?" I asked.

"This is my next class. I traded class periods." He smiled.

"So...isn't that your locker way over there?" I asked.

"Not anymore, I traded lockers too." Oh wonderful, and right next to mine. How convenient. "Don't worry. I'm not going to give you a hard time. I told ya, just friends. Really." And he started taking off his shirt.

I looked around, and there were a few people in the locker room, but not in our row. I wondered if he had the guts to try anything. Doubtful. Anyway, what am I worried about? I'm the one holding the trump card here. I can expose him at any time, and if he doesn't leave me alone, I just might have to do that. Or at least threaten to. Not that I would. I don't think. I made my way past him and opened my locker. That's when Chris stripped down to his boxers, and then he slid those off too. Knowing that he was naked and standing next to me made me a little nervous, I'll admit it. But I could ignore it, right? Doesn't bother me, not at all.

"So, did you think about that movie this weekend?" He asked, purposely turning to give me a full frontal view!

"Chris...put that away, will ya?" I said, shielding my eyes from the sight.

"What? We're all 'guys' here." He grinned. "So...did you think about it?"

"Yeah, and I don't think so."

"Why not?" He asked, getting even closer to me with that weapon of his dangling in front of me.

"Because..."

"Because what?"

"Because I have plans with someone for this weekend." For most people, that would be enough. But not for Chris.

"Maybe you can cancel them."

"Maybe I can, but I won't."

"Well...you can invite them along. Is it one of your...townie friends or something?"

"If you mean 'one of my poor friends from the slums', no. As a matter of fact, it's Mitchie." I said proudly.

"Mitchie...ahhh. Ok, well how about Saturday? I was going to play tennis over at the Murphy's place. You can come cheer me on if you want."

"Gee, sounds exciting. But no." I said, and I took my uniform to the bathroom to change.

"Was it something I said?" He shouted after me. I think this whole thing was a big game to him. He liked seeing me squirm at his advances. I mean, for crying out loud, what happened to Mr. 'I'll-beat-the-shit-out-of-ya-if-you-tell-anyone' from the limo? I feel like an intern at the White House for goodness sakes.

During gym class, we were playing baseball, and Chris stayed right by my side for the whole day. The...whole....day! Every single second. While waiting for our turn to bat, he would sit on the bench right next to me, touching my leg with his, and I could feel him looking at me at all times. He wasn't even talking to any of the other cronies in his gang of admirers. Just lucky ol' me. Wonderful. Then there were times when he would bump into me on purpose. Gently, but with his hand always 'mistakenly' gliding across my ass or something. And he kept smiling at me. Even when I was rude to him, he just kept that damn wacky grin on his face the entire time. He came to sit next to me again on the bench, and I just got up to walk away. Enough is enough. I looked behind me to see if he was still there, but when I turned around, he was right behind me. Argh!

"Chris! Dude, can you stop this? This is stupid." I said, my hands on his shoulders to keep him from getting too close.

"What's stupid about it?" He giggled.

"Everything! Dude, just give me some space, ok? Do you think you can do that for a while?"

He sighed to himself, "You're not making this easy, Jack." I stared at him for a second, and that's when he said, "Ok. Fine. Space. You got it." It was the first time all day that I saw that smile go away. He should probably thank me for making it leave his lips before his whole face cramped up.

"Thank you." I let him go, and started to walk away.

"Jack." He called after me. I turned around, and he looked at me, seriously looked at me, and said, "Can I...can I call you or something tonight?"

"Chris...that's not necessarily considered 'giving me my space'."

"I can't even call you?" He was serious. I mean all things aside, I wasn't trying to really hurt his feelings, I just didn't know how to suddenly switch from bitter enemies to 'buds' quite so fast. "Please?" Oh please don't tell me he's gonna beg!

"Fine! Whatever." I said, and walked off to outer field. I was sure that it made him happy, but I didn't dare turn around to find out. I don't know what it was, but something about the look on his face a few minutes ago was...I don't know...human. I never thought I'd ever be putting Chris in that category. The nerve of him touching me, and shaking his ass around me. What a nut case. I just kept thinking about it all period, and all through the next period, and the next. By the end of the day, I could hardly keep him off of my mind for more than a minute. The son of a bitch had brainwashed me into thinking about him! Soon we'll both need therapy.

Mitchie could easily tell that I had something on my mind when he got on the bus in the afternoon. He took his seat next to me, and just stared at me with a warm smile. "What are you smiling about?" I asked.

"I don't know yet. You tell me." He grinned.

"Well aren't we psychic this morning?"

"You know you're gonna tell me eventually. You're just wasting time." He said, tossing some of his hair back. He just kept looking right at me with that smile, and I couldn't help but feel lifted out of my seat. "C'mon, spill it."

"I...sorta...have...an 'admirer'." I moaned.

"An 'admirer'? Like...a secret admirer?"

"Well it's a secret to everybody but me, unfortunately."

Mitchie giggled gleefully. "Are you serious? Awwwwww....it's because you're so cute! That's why." He said, pinching my cheeks.

"Whatever. It's really just stupid."

"It's not stupid. Somebody likes you. They're probably thinking about you right now." He thought all of this was so adorable. I certainly didn't think so.

"Great. Thinking about me. That's comforting."

"So what's her name?" He asked, and I looked around the bus for a second before whispering.

"It's a he...and I'm not telling. Let's just say that I didn't see it coming."

Mitchie's eyebrows raised. "Really now? Very interesting indeed. Is it someone that goes to our school?"

I looked at him straight on. "This is not '20 Questions' here. I'm not telling you, so leave it alone."

"Is it someone on this BUS?" He tried grilling me a bit more, but my lips were sealed. It was embarrassing enough as it was. I just stood my ground, and let him know that he had absolutely nothing to worry about. No way was I going to give up perfection for a cute piece of ass. Especially one belonging to that asshole! It was time for him to get off of the bus, and I almost didn't want to let him go. I was holding onto his arm as he tried to leave. "Hehehe...dude, lemme go. I gotta run!" He laughed.

"Will you call me?" I asked.

"Yes, yes, I promise! I gotta go. See ya later! K?" He hurried off of the bus before the doors closed, and I watched him until the bus took me around the corner, the way I always did. I made it home, and plopped down on my bed exhausted. It had been a long day, and I just wanted to mellow out for a while. Then, as soon as I got a chance to catch my breath, the phone rang. "Hello?"

"I'm not too early, am I?"

"Chris... dude, is this important?"

"Yeah...yeah it is important. To me, ok?" I tried not to groan too loudly, and gave him a chance to speak. "Listen, I know this isn't your thing, and I know we haven't always exactly been friends in the past...but...but..." I heard something different in his voice. Besides nervousness. It was a slight rasp, almost like, sadness. "...um...I like you. Ok? I understand if that freaks you out or something, but I just didn't know what to do about it. So, if you just want me to leave you alone, I'll leave you alone." Oh great, now I feel guilty. Stuck between the easy way out he was giving me, and the hell he was destined to put me through. Grrr...let's see if I can make things right without hurting his feelings. Damn, always trying to be the nice guy. It's gonna be the death of me one day.

"Thanks Chris. And I understand, just...you need to slow down a little, ok? No more advancing on me like the Roman army all the time. Then we'll work on being...'friends'." You wouldn't imagine how strange that sounded coming out of my mouth. "Deal?"

"Yeah. I think I can handle that." I could hear a bit of a smile come back into his voice, and I'll admit, it felt good. I don't know WHY making him of all people smile would make me feel good. But it did.

"Cool. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Wait...can I...um...just say 'one' more thing before you go?"

"Only if you promise not to insult me, Chris."

"I won't! Promise!" He said.

Sigh. "Ok...go ahead." I said, and prepared myself for the worst.

"Jack?...Kissing you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I won't ever forget it."

Didn't see that coming. "Wow...uh...thanks." Well, what else was I supposed to say? "That's...really nice of you, Chris."

"Yeah. I'm jacking off thinking about it right now." He whispered.

"DUDE!"

"Joking! Just joking! Don't go postal on me. Hehehe!" I hardly even knew what to make of this kid anymore. But the shock value alone made me smile a bit.

"Hehehe, freak." I said.

"You know it." He smiled. "Now get your hair out of your eyes. You know I hate that." Huh??? I spun around towards the window to see Chris sitting outside next to his driver, cell phone in hand. "Sorry Jack...I know it sounds stupid, but I just had to see you again today. You can go back to your 'space' now." After saying that, he got into the back seat, waving to me as the car pulled away. He's persistent, I'll give him that. Even bordering on 'sweet' for a moment there. What happened to that giant percentage of his brain that was made up of 'asshole' genes? Am I supposed to believe that they've all suddenly disappeared? And...Here I go thinking about him again. Out out damned spot!

For the rest of the week, Chris did his very best to not crowd me the way he was before. But I could tell that he was straining against it every step of the way. He would stare at me for long periods of time from across the room, or would do little things for me, trying to make it look like an innocent gesture. He'd run into me in strange places...by 'accident', I'm sure. A hundred coincidences a day. And if I did so much as say hello to him, he would try to find a million reasons to touch me in some way while we were talking. It was weird, a full blown bastard to sweetheart conversion in the course of one week. Someone should be calling the Guinness Book of records about this incredible discovery. When I got home at night, Chris would call me, just for a few minutes, and ask if he was doing well in the 'space' department. Hehehe, it got to the point where I thought I'd actually miss him if he didn't call. In fact, I was almost 'flattered'. By Thursday night, I was laughing with him, instead of at him like usual. You know, when broken down to the bare essentials, he really wasn't that bad a guy. Occasionally he would let some of that rich snobbery slip, but at least he was trying. That's more than I can say for some of the other people we went to school with. Who, by the way, were just as confused by Chris' sudden change of heart as I was.

"You ready for tonight?" Mitchie asked me as soon as he sat down to lunch that Friday morning.

"Oh right, the movie. Yeah, count me in dude." I said. Just then, Chris walked over and sat down right next to me. No warning, no nothing. I had never seen him here at lunch before. "Chris?"

"I switched lunch hours. No biggie. Hey Mitchie." He smiled, spreading his lunch out to dine with us.

"What's up Chris?" Mitchie replied, friendly as always. Not much more.

"So Jack tells me you guys are doing stuff tonight." Chris asked, walking right up to that forbidden line of invading my life and waiting to cross it.

"Yeah, we were actually thinking about going to..." Mitchie started, but I stopped him.

"...going to...uh...to go bowling. Someplace across town. We figured it might be fun." There. If he's planning to spontaneously 'show up' somewhere, let it be at the bowling alley in the exact opposite direction of where we were off to. I noticed Mitchie giving me a strange look from the corner of my eye, but he caught on fast enough.

"Sounds cool. Well, you two enjoy yourselves. I hope you have fun." Chris said. Then he went right back to eating. It was like he had pounced our lunch table and dug his claws in deep. I tried talking to Mitchie, but it seemed...'restrained' somehow. I never knew how much we said in secret to each other before having a third party there to watch us. No more jokes, no more hidden grins, no flirting. Nada. So it just made everything a bit uncomfortable, and it was the one lunch hour that I was wishing would go by a lot faster. Then, out of nowhere, Chris rubbed his leg up against mine under the table. He didn't look at me, and he didn't make it too obvious, but it was definitely on purpose. Then, when I didn't say anything, he did it again. This time he held it there for a second, enjoying the subtle contact. I moved my leg away, causing him to stop, but it probably won't be long before he's trying it again.

"I think I need some more napkins." I said, trying to get away from the table.

"Here, you can use some of mine if you want." Chris meant well, I'm sure, but he was just getting deeper and deeper into this whole thing and it was bothering me.

"No, that's ok man. You can keep those, I need another soda anyway."

"No problem man. I'll grab ya one. What do ya want? Coke? Sprite? Anything." And he stood up, my own indentured servant.

" Sprite is cool. Thanks." I grumbled.

"I'll be right back, ok?" And he took off to get it for me. I slumped back in my chair a bit, and when I looked up, Mitchie was staring right at me. A grin on his face.

"What now?" I asked.

Tanner turned his head slightly to see Chris getting even more napkins and making sure to pick out the coldest Sprite in the ice bin, and then he turned back to look me in the eye again. "Oh no...dude...you have got to be kidding me!" He giggled.

"Kidding about what?" But it was too late. He already knew.

"A 'secret admirer', huh? Hehehehe! Omigod, I never would have thought it possible! You and Chris? That's hilarious!" He laughed to himself as I turned red.

"Shhhh! Keep your voice down! If he knew I told you, he'd freak out!" I said in a loud whisper, but Mitchie had a bad case of the giggles now, and there was no stopping them.

"Well, I hate to tell you, but he's not hiding it very well. And neither are you for that matter. You blush at the drop of a hat, dude."

"I'm not blushing!"

"It looks like you've got one heck of a problem on your hands. Chris doesn't give up easy...on anything."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that."

"So what are you gonna do?" Mitchie asked.

"I don't know! I've been trying to get away from him, but he just keeps following me around everywhere I go. He calls almost every night. I don't know what to do."

"Hehehe, that's so sweet. You two are such a cuddly little couple. I can just see you now, holding hands and running through a field of roses. What a pretty sight that would be." I'm glad one of us was enjoying this so much.

"This is serious, Mitchie! How do I get him to leave me alone?" I asked.

"Nothing you can do, Jack. If he's got a crush on you, then you've just gotta let it run its course. That's all there is to it. Until then, I think you're stuck with him." Mitchie smiled at me wickedly just as Chris was coming back to the table. He had that same goofy expression on his face, and handed me the can of pop.

"I made sure it was cold. None of those half warm ones they put on the top. Cool?" He said.

"Uh...yeah. Great. Thanks Chris."

"Oh, and some more napkins too." He handed them to me, brushing his hand against mine, and Mitchie had to turn his head to keep from bursting out into laughter. Bastard, I owe him big time for this.

When the bell rang, I jumped up from the table so fast it almost made me dizzy. I was finally getting the chance to escape. Mitchie and I usually walk to class together, but since Chris so 'graciously' offered, and Mitchie was getting such a kick out of my predicament, he pretended to forget something in his locker. So he left me! He smiled and said, "You two have fun." While cheerfully waving goodbye. Argh!

"So...I know I asked already, but if you had changed your mind at all about the movie, you'd let me know right?" Chris asked. I was walking as fast as I could through the people in the hall, but I could only manage to stay a step or two in front of him.

"Sorry. I've got stuff to do this weekend." I said. "We'll talk later."

"What time will you be home? I'll give you a call."

"Chris...space. Remember?"

"I know, I know. Ok." He tried to stay quiet a few seconds after that, but it didn't work for very long. "What if you call me on Sunday, and tell me how the bowling went? I mean, that's not too much, is it?"

Geez! "Dude..."

"C'mon. One phone call for the whole weekend."

"Why?" I said annoyed.

"So I can hear from you. You know.....just to hear your voice." He was almost whimpering when he said it. I was ready to just hit him and run at this point, but then he played the guilt card on me, saying, "Please? It would mean a lot to me. You know it would." I swear, he was much easier to deal with when he was being a jerk.

"Alright! Sunday." I sighed

"You'll call?"

"Yes."

"Promise?" I turned to look at him with an aggravated look in my eyes, and he backed down a bit. "Ok, ok...gotcha. Too much on my part." He smiled, and just followed me like a little brother to my next class. I must have walked there in record time that day. "I'll talk to you on Sunday, cool?" He was practically bouncing on his heels.

"Whatever. Later." I really am not a cruel person, but this was a weird balance of like and love that I never had to walk between before. I'm not used to being watched. I'm certainly not used to being hunted. This is going to take a lot of adjustment.

On the bus ride home, I made sure to give Mitchie pure hell without alerting anyone else around us. But no matter how much I ranted and raved, it only made him laugh and tease me even more. Then he told me he'd pick me up about 7 O'clock for the movie, and got up to leave.

"Hey, at least you know it's not just me who thinks you're cute." He grinned, and got off the bus. He was just awesome sometimes. There was never a rainy day when he was around.

I got home, showered up and got ready for our date. Bobby was sure to force some dinner into me before going out, and Mitchie showed up promptly to take me out on the town. "Do you really think he'll come looking for me at the bowling alley?" I asked in the car.

"Hehehe! Who Chris? I wouldn't doubt it. But make no mistake, he'll find you if he has to. All flaws aside, he can be pretty resourceful when he wants to be. He knows so many people; he's pretty much patched into everything at school. So don't think that you'll be able to hide out for too long."

"Wonderful. Just what I needed. A teenage stalker." I slumped down a bit, and Mitchie playfully rubbed his leg up against mine. I looked at him with surprise. Did he know about the lunch table?

"Hehehe! Remind you of something? You have the most 'guilty' looking face on Earth, dude!"

"You know...I really hate you for this!" I said.

"No you don't." His eyes locked in on mine, and his smile morphed into a sensual grin. It's the kind of look that you can only give to someone who loves you. His gaze softened, pulling me closer to him like a magnet as our passions seemed to tangle up with one another between us. I wish we had one of those windows between us and the driver at that moment so we could enjoy a few kisses before getting to the theater. Or at least have Kris driving. No such luck. So we contained the urge and just enjoyed the silent visual connection for a while. By the time we got to the movies, we were both horny enough to turn the car around and check into a hotel someplace. I'm surprised that we weren't 'showing' in front when we got out of the car. I could hardly contain my need for him as it was. His sexy little mind games don't help any.

We bought the tickets, got some good seats right in the middle of the theater, and basically made goo goo eyes at each other for the next fifteen minutes while trying to maintain somewhat of a 'normal' conversation. It was both a blessing and a curse knowing that my life would never be the same without Mitchie in it. I don't even know if it would go on. He occupied so many of my thoughts, so much of my time, so much of my heart. He was the center of everything for me, and if he weren't there, I would go spiraling off into the darkness, forever searching for a force strong enough to hold me the way he once did. All the crushes, and all the pretty boys, and all the pressure in the world couldn't keep me from realizing that. My heart would deflate without him...I love him with everything that I have to give, and if he didn't love me back...what would I do? They say that life is short. But it's not. It's long! And I'll spend the rest of it in tears without Mitchie's love to guide me through the tough times.

I worry about losing him often. But luckily, every once in a while, I can see a reflection of that same love in the glory of his eyes. Now was one of those times. And it let my soul rest peacefully.

The movie started, and we almost immediately began play fighting for the armrest. Him knocking my arm into my lap, and me doing the same. Then the son of a bitch kicked me! I shoved him over a bit, and we snickered happily to ourselves. I had control of the armrest, and there was no way that I was giving it up now. No matter how hard he struggled. Then...all of the sudden, he stopped. We were both a little breathless, but there in the dark, we had a bit of a mask from the rest of the theater. Mitchie took that to his advantage once the previews started. He gently wrapped his fingers around mine, and held my hand. The contact sent a slightly warm chill up my arm, and I smiled. He used his finger to tickle the inside of my palm, and I was completely involved in the feel of his soft skin against mine. And just as I let my guard down, he quickly shoved my arm off of the armrest, and regained control! He stuck his tongue out at me and laughed to himself. I had to give it to him; he tricked me, but made it up to me by putting my hand in his lap. I left it there, on the inside of his thigh, my fingertips landing between his knee and 'everything else'. I let it sit there for a moment, allowing the warmth and tenderness of his thigh bathe my hand in its thermal heat. And then I let it glide ever so slowly upwards. Just an inch or two, enough to make him squirm a bit. I heard Mitchie let out a little gasp, and I teased him by letting my fingers run small circles on the inside of his thigh. It was so soft, so squeezable enticing. I moved up another few inches, and then a few more. We were both watching the movie screen, but neither one of us was really paying attention. I felt the hardness in my pants tighten up and grow, my breathing speeding up as I eased my hand even further up Mitchie's leg. By now, my pinky was delicately tickling his young sack through his pants with the slightest of pressure. It was driving him crazy, I could tell by his quick panting. He was trying to control it and stay quiet, but I wasn't letting him off that easy. I moved up even further, and now I was running my fingers over the hardening lump in his pants, back and forth slowly, giving him goose bumps. I gave it a squeeze and a tug, and he released a soft, high pitched whimper. "Shhh!" I told him with a giggle. At this point, he just forgot the screen, and looked over at me with his eyes half closed, and mouth partially open. I began to wonder just how far we could go in here. In the dark. Maybe I could take it further. Maybe...if I could just unzip him...maybe even...

"What's up?" Came a voice from the side of us. I snatched my hand back as swiftly and discreetly as I possibly could, and turned to see...

"Chris? What the hell are you doing here?" I whispered harshly as he sat down on the other side of me.

"I came to watch the movie. I figured you guys were busy, so I didn't want to sit home alone on a Friday night. And here I am. Say, you want some popcorn? I brought extra napkins." He said, pushing the bag into my lap.

"You FOLLOWED me, didn't you?"

"Of course not." He said, but I stared him down, and he confessed, "Ok! Maybe...Melissa mentioned that Mitchie was talking about coming to see 'Psycho' on the big screen tonight. So I figured you guys would be here. Hiya Mitchie."

"Good to see you Chris." Mitchie smiled.

"Sigh...." I said.

"What?" Chris looked ready to defend himself with one excuse or another, so I just abandoned it.

"Nothing." And I sat back to watch the movie. My anger surging through me during the whole movie, burning hotter and hotter with each passing second. With both of my dates for the evening on either side of me, I just tried to make it through until the end without going mad. Afterwards, he actually asked if he could catch a ride with us, to which Mitchie happily agreed. I swear, I'm going to kill him. Boyfriend or no boyfriend, I was going to murder them both with the first bludgeoning weapon I could get my hands on.

I stayed quiet for the whole trip back while Chris and Mitchie chit chatted away with each other. Then came the last straw. "So where are you guys going now?" Chris asked.

"Actually," I said, still pouting a bit. "I'm a bit tired."

"Awww, you guys aren't turning in already, are you?"

I gave Mitchie a dirty look that basically let him know that enough was enough. I think he actually had some mercy on me and told Chris, "Yeah, I suppose so. Maybe another night." finally, some help!

"Oh...well, ok then." Chris smiled at me sweetly, obviously satisfied that he had purposely forced his way onto my eternal shit list. I didn't smile back. I didn't budge an inch. I could not believe how far this had gone. I just turned my head and looked out the window to keep from shooting daggers at him for the rest of the ride.

After a few quick moments of silence, I rudely asked, "Can we drop you off somewhere, Chris?"

"Actually, I was thinking maybe I could go to your house. My driver can pick me up from there." No!

"How about no, Chris? Anywhere else you want to go?" Chris' face drooped a little bit, finally letting some of my 'hints' sink in. But then, Mitchie jumped in.

"What he means, dude, is it would be better if I just dropped you off at my house. Its closer, you know? It won't take as long." I looked over at Mitchie, who flashed me a facial expression that was silently telling me to 'be nice'. I rolled my eyes and just didn't say anything more. I think Chris actually got a clue, and I could hear the sadness in his tone.

"Um...actually, you know what? Don't worry about it. You guys can just drop me off by the hotel up here. I'll be fine."

"Chris, we are NOT dropping you off in front of any hotel!" Mitchie insisted. "Are we, Jack?"

I was ready to oblige him, actually. Practically had my hand on the door, waiting for the driver to slow down. Then...Chris looked at me with some of the most pitiful orphan Oliver eyes I had ever seen in my life. So, once again...I gave in and tried to be understanding. "No...no I guess we aren't."

"Cool. I'll drop you guys off at Jack's house, and we'll call it a night." And with that, Mitchie took me home. We said our goodnights, and I didn't even get a single kiss. Chris had called for someone to pick him up from the car, and told them to come to my address. My whole date with Mitchie was completely ruined, all because of some stupid crush that I just didn't understand. As soon as Mitchie's car drove away, I gave Chris a mean look while grinding my teeth.

"Don't even talk to me, right now." I said, and I walked up to the front door. He walked in behind me, and I just was beyond being 'polite' at this point.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think...I just wanted to spend some time with you guys, that's all." He said sadly, plopping down on my couch.

"And I told you 'no'. Do you remember that? This isn't about what you want, Chris! This is about respecting my space!"

"I'm trying to respect your space, Jack. But if I played by your rules, I'd never get to talk to you at all."

"And the problem with that is...?" I asked, and I left it at that. I walked over to the closet, and looked for a hanger to hang up my jacket. "You just have to stop Chris. That's all there is to it. You follow me everywhere that I go, you show up in the most unlikely of places, you invade my home, you're constantly calling me on the phone, you're always touching me in some way...I mean, this has just got to stop!" I didn't hear anything behind me, so I closed the closet door and said, "Are you even listening to me?" But when I walked back over to the couch, I saw Chris just sitting there, tears pouring down his cheeks, trying hard not to let the damn burst. Until that day, I don't think I had ever seen anyone more heartbroken. I was frozen for a moment, not knowing exactly how to deal with the whole situation. He was crying...actually crying and it was all because of me. Do I give in to his heavy hearted pleas again, do I say I'm sorry, or do I stand my ground and stop this before it gets worse? I couldn't move. I just stood there for an eternity before doing the only thing that I could think of doing. I got him a box of tissues off of the coffee table.

"I'm sorry, ok?" He sobbed.

I sat next to him, feeling like a total jerk for kicking him when he was down like that, and awkwardly patted him on the shoulder. "It's...it's ok."

"It's not ok. You hate me. I made you hate me."

"I don't hate you, Chris. I just...I can't have you in my face every second of the day."

"I don't mean to be like that. But...I just wanna be around you...and it gets to the point where I can't stand it anymore. So I come looking." More tears fell from his eyes, and he fought hard to choke them back while he spoke. "Do you know what I do every morning when I wake up, Jack? Do you?"

"What?"

"I think about you. I think about how special you are, and how beautiful you are, and how you're different from anyone else I know in this whole fucking world." He sobbed a bit more, and then continued, "And then I think about how I don't know you at all. And about the fact that no matter what I do or what I feel or what I want...you are never going to love me. Ever. And that hurts. So I do all that I can to forget you, and just stop being magnetized to you like some kind of love struck geek. But you know what? It doesn't work, Jack. I always want to be close to you, or talk to you, or just...know that in some way, you're thinking about me. But you never even give me a chance. I'm just...not what you want."

"Chris..."

But he interrupted me, "Save it. I don't care what you say to me, I'm never going to hate you as much as you hate me. Got it? I tried it that way, and it doesn't work. So deal with it. You're always going to be beautiful to me, you're always going to drive me crazy with the cute little things you do, and you're always going to hurt me beyond belief when you turn me away. I can't help that, and you can't help that. So let's just give it a rest for tonight and let me go home and cry myself to sleep." No, this isn't right. I didn't want this. Chris isn't supposed to have 'feelings' dammit! He's supposed to be some kind of raving lunatic who doesn't take no for an answer! A rich, snobby, little ill-mannered brat! So...why is it that I feel so bad right now? This isn't fair! He's cheating! Oh....dammit to hell!

I leaned over and gave him a hug, bringing his head into me as he cried softly on my shoulder. "I'm...I'm sorry Chris. I guess, I just got a little carried away. Don't mind me, I'm just...I'm an asshole."

"A cute asshole." He sniffled, trying to smile a bit. I couldn't help but smile a bit myself, and we held the hug for a few minutes longer in silence. Then we heard the honking of a car horn outside. Chris jumped back a bit, and started frantically trying to dry his eyes. "Whoa...I'm sorry. Hehehe, I'm such a fag. Look, that's my ride. I'll...talk to you later. Or....or not." He said, looking hopeful again. Wondering if I'd give him permission to keep stalking me the way he has been. If this would be the end of our connection.

"Sunday, right? I'll...uh...I'll call you, and tell you how the bowling went." I smiled.

It actually got a grin out of him. And he stood up to go. "I must be pretty bad for you to want to send me across town looking for you."

"Yeah, you are. But...maybe I was pretty bad for doing it." Then I stuck out my hand, "Friends?"

He paused, wide eyed as though I was offering him eternal life, and he took it with a shaky hand. "Friends." He looked me in the eye for a moment, then heard the horn honk again. A bit more impatiently this time. "Well, somebody just lost their tip for the night." He grinned, his eyes puffy and red. "G'night. K?"

"Take it easy, Chris."

He walked over to the door, and then turned around. "Your hair is in your eyes again....I hate that."

"Gee, thanks." I said. Sarcasm with a smile. He walked out to the car, and I shut the door behind him.

Ok, so does this make things better or worse? I guess I'll have to just wing this one and see how it goes. I'll be keeping an eye on him though. At times like this, I really do miss the belligerent son of a bitch that I knew Chris to be. At least then I had an idea of what to expect from him. This new side of him was...chaotic at best. I needed some sleep. This next week is going to be quite interesting indeed.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry this chapter took so fucking long I got really sick

My alarm seemed extra loud that morning as it startled me out of a deep sleep like a train wreck. I hurriedly rolled over to turn it off, and laid back as my heart tried to resume a normal pace after the shock. My limbs felt numb, and my eyes drooped. It was one of those mornings where you had slept for more than enough hours to be well rested, but it just didn't feel like it. I was still groggy as hell, and I knew that Bobby would be marching into my room any minute, pulling up the shades and flooding my room with the blinding light of another sunny day. I'd rather get up on my own without the threat of 'invasion'. Besides, I was sporting a painfully hard erection that morning, and lord knows I didn't want him to have to see that!

I washed up and brushed my teeth with the last little bit of the toothpaste that I could squeeze out of the tube, and tossed it out. I tried fixing my hair, but it wasn't going to agree with me today. So I tossed it around as much as I had patience for and left it like that. I got dressed in a shirt that I figured Mitchie would find 'sexy' and matched it up with whatever other clothes I could rustle up. It was weird exactly how much loving Mitchie had an effect on the way I groomed myself in the morning. Always looking to put some extra 'spice' into my appearance, always taking the extra time to hopefully look as beautiful to him as he did to me. I doubt I'd ever reach that level of raw sensual passion though. And it wasn't just me being a dork in love either; I mean he was really gorgeous without even trying to be. There were times on the weekends when he would just be wearing a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt, and yet it would mold to his lithe body with such a subtle pinch of teen sexuality that I couldn't even think straight in his presence. Sometimes his hair would catch the sunlight and glow more blue then usual, and when it fell forward into his sparkling grey eyes...the two colors would blend into something indescribable. In school, I noticed that he just had the curves and build to fit anything to a tee...soft sweaters, slim khakis, jeans, snug on his hips or baggy, button down shirts with or without the collar...for crying out loud, he even had nice FEET that his socks would stretch over and show off perfect arches! And with all that beauty, he never really meant to do any of it on purpose! It just happened. He was beautiful by default. Just thinking about it made me long for his kiss again as soon as we could possibly get some time alone. I hungered for it all day long, and I was never sure of how well I was hiding it in front of everyone else. I was literally drenched in my love for him at all times, and there were times when I'm sure that Mitchie could see it in my eyes. I know because he would always blush a little and giggle sweetly to himself when he caught on. I'd always ask what was so funny, and he would just smile and say, "Nothing...goofball." It was almost like a cute little nickname that he created for me when I was being overly 'girly' about him. Which was often. I didn't even feel any shame in it anymore. He was worth humiliating myself, trying to express and explain these energetic explosions going off inside me every ten seconds! I loved the feeling. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. Mitchie and I will have to make plans to get together sometime before this weekend. Thinking about him was exciting me already.

"What is this?" Bobby asked, the first words I heard from him all morning.

"What is what?"

"This...what's this?" He repeated, showing me the empty toothpaste tube that I through away. "Why did you toss this out?"

"It was empty." I shrugged, but he was evidently in a somewhat stressful mood that morning.

"It's not empty. There's more in here. We can't just start throwing good stuff away, Jack."

"Bobby...geez, I squeezed the last bit of it out a few minutes ago. It's tapped already."

He walked into the bathroom and got his toothbrush, and after what must have been three minutes of squeezing, shimmying, twisting, and rolling it up from the base to the top...he was able to actually drain almost another toothbrush full out of the tube. "Tapped, right?" He said.

I just kind of looked at him. I mean, I certainly hope he doesn't expect me to go through ten minutes of effort just to get enough toothpaste for 30 seconds of brushing every morning before school. For crying out loud, it's not like I threw it away half full. "I squeezed as much as I could out of it first..."

"Well don't throw it away until it's gone next time. I can't afford to keep buying stuff we don't need." And with that, he tossed out the toothpaste and left. Okaaaaay...somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I poured myself some cereal and sat down at the table with the milk. I poured a generous amount over the bowl, ready to eat. Again, Bobby came in and the next thing I know, I was being 'targeted' again. "Hey hey...easy on the milk. That's enough."

"What's the matter with you today?" I asked.

"Watch it. Ok? Just watch it, I'm not in the mood." Jesus, he was cranky! "You just make sure that you're on that bus today and get to school. The car won't start and I won't be able to take you today."

"Woo hoo! Day off from school!" I said, trying to cheer him up a bit. But he got a serious look on his face.

"You are not skipping school, do you hear me. You're a smart boy, Jack. You should go to school. It's important."

"Bobby...I was kidding." I gave him a weird look, and I knew that something was wrong. Very wrong. He was just acting way off balance this morning. "Is something wrong?"

He looked me in the eye for a moment and said, "Nothing more than usual, Sweetheart." He ruffled my hair a bit and gave me a weak smile. "Eat your breakfast." Then he got up and went to get dressed.

Whatever the problem was, I knew Bobby, and any of my attempts to figure it out, ask about it, or help him with it, would only drive it deeper and deeper 'underground'. He was one of those people who didn't ask for help, especially from his younger brother. It was an independence that was admirable, but sometimes frustrating as hell. The only thing I could do was finish my breakfast, grab my backpack, and head out to school. He'll tell me eventually, I suppose. When he thinks he's ready and not a moment before. Thus is the way of the strange man that I call 'Bobby'.

I got on the bus and was excitedly waiting for that special moment when I got to see Mitchie jump on board. I could always see him looking up into the bus windows for me as we approached his stop. No matter what, even in the rain, he always found me. Our dreamy gazes always just seemed to lock in one another when we were close. Like magic. He hopped on and took his place beside me as the bus started off again. "Morning, beautiful." He said, always making his first greeting sound like something a husband and wife would say at the breakfast table before that 'good morning' kiss. "So how did it go?"

"How did what go?" I asked.

"Hehehe...you know what I'm talking about. Dropping you and your 'funny valentine' off at the house the other night." He giggled.

"Argh...don't remind me."

"That bad, huh?"

"This whole thing isn't just extremely weird, it's downright psychotic, you know? I'm not trying to be a dick about the whole thing, but he's really trying to get me to change my mind about falling in love with him."

"So does this mean I should be watching my back?" Mitchie gave me his lopsided grin, trying not to laugh too loud at my predicament.

"Hardly."

"Well, I think it's sweet. Lord knows I would have bought you off a long time ago if I thought 'I' couldn't have you."

"Thanks...that's just great. What am I, a prostitute now? Let's hear it for Jack, the hard working ho!" We laughed out loud, drawing some attention to ourselves and quieted down so the other people riding with us didn't start eavesdropping on our conversation. I hated having to be 'careful' with my words in public. But if it meant more time in a private paradise with my Mitchie...then speaking about it out loud in front of strangers was a small thing to sacrifice.

"So are you still coming over on Wednesday? Half day at school, maybe pick up some junk food, and we'll have free reign of the house." Mitchie asked.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Lord knows I can't get enough of him. I'd spend every minute of every day with him if I thought it were possible. Besides, any opportunity for some nookie with my boyfriend was more than a welcome area on my personal schedule. Just sitting there thinking about it was a pleasure in itself. The feel of his skin, getting softer and warmer the further down his body I traveled with my kisses. The sweet aroma of his boyhood as it quivered beneath me, smelling sweetly of soap mixed with every erotic pheromone that Mitchie's young body could produce. His gentle breath, his silken hair, his skillfull hands and thin red lips...sigh...

Mitchie must have gotten a hint as to what I was thinking once I got quiet, because he smiled at me and whispered, "I suppose we'll have plenty of time for that too...pervert." He is simply too cute, sometimes.

We got through the front gates of the school all too soon, and filed out for morning classes. It was weird, but I missed him before he even left my sight. I thought about what he said on the bus, and it was true...if I couldn't have Mitchie, it wouldn't have made my feelings for him dwindle one bit. I guess if I was looking at things from Chris' point of view...the situation might make a lot more sense. "Hi, Jack..." Speak the devil's name...and he'll show up every time.

"Hey, Chris. What's up?"

"I just want you to know, that I've learned my lesson, and I'm gonna be cool from now on, and you'll have all the space you need to do...whatever." He smiled. He seemed so proud of himself that it was kinda funny.

"Well...good. That's good dude. Really. Thanks."

"Yep! No more silly stuff. And I won't call so much. And I won't just drive by your house unannounced anymore either. OH and I switched my gym locker back to the other side of the room again. See? That's my lock on it, right there." He declared.

"Thanks man. I appreciate it. I'm glad you feel good about all this."

"Yeah...I feel good. Really good. No more...I'm...I'm cool. So...I just thought I'd let you know. Ok?" Something tells me that this obsession is not quite over yet.

"Cool...well...I've gotta run to class, Chris." I didn't know what else to say at that point. But I believe he was a tad bit disappointed that I didn't try to at least resist his separation from me a just a little.

"Ok. I'll...I'll see you later. not that I have to see you later, but...you know...I might...run into you or something." He stammered.

"Sounds good."

"OR...maybe I won't run into you. Maybe I won't see you again until tomorrow. Won't bother me." I just turned around and smiled while giving him a weird look. He's really turning into quite the adorable little freak these days, isn't he? He watched me go all the way down the hall and even waved goodbye. I hope he didn't take my agreement with his new 'stay away' outlook as something negative. I didn't want to seem like I was pushing him off of me. Not 'too hard' anyway.

I was almost relieved to know that he was at least trying to wean himself off of me. I never imagined that someone could really be...infatuated with me. It was like being on display, pressured to be worthy of someone else's affections. I wasn't quite sure what to do about it at all. I wonder what he thinks about when he's thinking of me. I wonder if he's really 'out of control' around me, or if he's just joking around about that part. That's a weird thought in itself, and better left alone. I was kinda enjoying my new freedom from a potentially bad situation, and thought that I might at least have a break from his 'manhunt'. But when I got to gym class, I could tell that Chris' resistance was already breaking. I walked in to the locker room to change and saw Chris standing there, leaning against the lockers with his head down. I gave him a simple hello, which he returned, I guess, expecting a much longer conversation from me. And then his eyes were glued right back down to the ground again in complete silence. When I started to take off my shirt and didn't say anything else, I noticed him get really fidgety and nervous, playing with the handle on one of the lockers. He was trying, I suppose...but it was as if I could 'feel' him itching to say something else. Anything else. The locker room was almost empty at the moment, so this was his only window of opportunity and it was closing fast. So...just when I thought he was about to have his head explode from the pressure of holding it all back, Chris took in a quick suction of air and said, "I love you." Just like that, out of the blue. No warning, no build up, just...I love you. What's weird is, I think it surprised him twice as much as it did me.

"What?" I said, a bit in shock.

"Nothing! Forget it." He got extremely nervous and swiftly turned around to face the lockers while bumbling with his stuff. Then I heard him tapping worriedly on his lock, trying so hard to decide between letting go and doing what I asked of him. But it was no use anymore. He let out a long sigh and looked around the corner to see if anyone was coming. Then he said, on 'purpose' this time, "Jack...I'm sorry, ok? But...I love you. I know I said I was going to back off, and that everything's cool, but...it's only been a few hours....and...I miss you already....and...I love you."

I was a bit lost. "Chris...that's sweet and all, but..."

"I know, I know! And I'm trying to forget about it, I really am. I just...can't." He was breathing hard, and shaking a little, and struggling with every word that he spoke, I could tell. He couldn't even look me in the eye. Wow...he's really got it bad, hasn't he? "I've been thinking about you all weekend, Jack! It's like I can't get you out of my head, and I love it! It's such a rush, and I can't control it! It runs through me 24 hours a day and I feel like I'm going to burst if I don't get to touch you again soon! I've never felt this way about anyone before, certainly not somebody poor!" He said without blinking.

"I am not 'poor'! And you're not in love with me, Chris. You just 'think' you are." I said.

"No way, dude." He grinned. "This isn't some illusion, Jack, this is real. I feel it all the time, and I can't stop giggling. I couldn't even sleep last night because I was so waiting to see you again. I was literally tossing and turning and smiling to myself in my bed last night. And it's not just because I think you're hot and wanna fuck your brains out! It's other stuff too! Isn't that awesome?"

My mouth hung open. "Uh...yeah...I...I guess it is. Sure."

"I mean, I still think about sleeping with you, like, all the time...or...sucking you off, or having a really HOT 69 with you...that's my favorite, cause you get on top and I can..."

"Yeah, Chris...I think I get your meaning." I said, cutting his 'fantasy' a bit short.

"But, Jack, you're so much more than that to me! It was like, all of the sudden...POW! It hit me! And what can I say? I love you!" He shrugged his shoulders happily and left me even more confused than ever. Once he got out the initial confession, his fear began to melt away, and that cocky confidence was speeding back to him faster than I could keep up. "And I love your ass too! I didn't tell you before, because it seemed kinda weird, but I took a picture of it with my cell phone last week."

"You did what?" I said, and lowered my voice as I saw another boy walk past us to go to his locker somewhere in the back of the room. The rest would be there shortly. "When?" I said in a loud whisper.

"While you were changing. I secretly took a picture of your butt in your underwear. God...you make me wanna lick my phone, dude. You are so cute, you know that?"

"Chris...geez...this is not cool, ok? I thought we had a deal?"

"Jack..." He whined. "...Come on...I'm aching over here. I'm being as 'tame' as I can when it comes to you."

I sighed out loud. "Chris, I think we should...discuss some things, ok?" I said, as calmly and plainly as I could.

"Sure! Like what?" He asked, his smile still beaming brightly enough to blind me. A few more kids walked in, causing me to go back to a whisper. The locker room was filling up fast.

"In private, I mean. This...um...this is a public locker room." I think, in his haste to confess his love for me, he had forgotten that.

Chris blushed a little and smiled, "Shit...I'm sorry. It's hard to think about anything except how I feel about you, you know?" And speaking of 'hard'...Chris' excitement was becoming extremely visible in the front of his pants. That deliciously big bulge that I had seen in the flesh more than once...it was reacting to my very presence. He caught me looking and grinned. "Yeah...it's been happening like every two minutes since I discovered how I felt about us. Hehehe! It's kinda neat, feeling this way all day long." He moved closer to me, letting the tip of his hardness graze my leg as he whispered in my ear. "You like it?" And on that note, I decided to just get dressed and go before he asked me to participate in something...um...inappropriate. I kept him at arm's length while I dressed, and made sure to keep my back to the lockers while putting on my shorts. Taking pictures of me with his phone...I can't believe he did that! It's weird, but I think I liked Chris a lot more when he hated me.

He smiled warmly, unaffected by my preventative measures to keep him away from me, and changed himself. He made sure to turn to the side a few times so I could see his tent still standing strong. Almost as if he wanted to tease me with it. And dammit...I looked! Hey! I'm gay, I'm a teenager, and he's cute! So sue me! He caught me peeking every single time, and it was so satisfying to him to know that I was at least a little bit curious, that he was smiling from ear to ear. The goofy grin caused me to feel silly about the whole thing, and I heard a slight giggle escape my lips too. God, he's strange. But...I suppose it was kinda funny. Then, once he finished changing and was getting ready to walk outside, he said, "See ya outside, cutie!" Then he goosed me! I felt him palm my ass through my shorts, and squeeze tightly with his fingers. A whole handful of shameless ass grabbing pleasure, his fingers reaching far enough underneath that his ring and pinky fingers almost touched the back of my balls! I nearly banged my head on the lockers!

"Chris!" I yelled!

"Shhhh...public locker room, dude!" He giggled, and he disappeared around the corner. Was I just....sexually harassed? I shudder to think what he'd do to me if we were at home alone!

Later on, after school, I was kinda expecting to hear Mitchie get a big kick out of the whole thing and laugh his ass off at my expense. In fact, I was sort of looking forward to it. But it seems that his mom and dad sent a car for him and he had to join them somewhere for dinner after school. Still, he made sure to make his driver wait until I came out so he could tell me what was up and say he'd talk to me soon. And to definitely remind me about Wednesday...as though I could ever forget. And he took off, with me feeling a bit sad about being deprived of a few of the cherished moments that we shared together on the way home every day. Sigh...but I didn't want to be too silly about it. Especially now that I know what it looks like from the 'outside', thanks to Chris.

It was a long, quiet, bus ride home that made me glad to be home. I walked in through the front door of the house, and picked up the mail as I headed to the kitchen for a snack. Peanut butter and crackers would be more than enough this time around. Besides, Bobby didn't go grocery shopping until Saturday and my little stash of junk treats was already at an all time low. Bobby was picking up extra shifts at work, and with the car messing up, he had to leave extra early to catch the bus. So I was going to be on my own for a while. I sat down with a knife, the peanut butter jar, and a roll of Ritz crackers, and turned on some afternoon cartoons while sitting back on the couch. I looked back down at the mail on the coffee table, and noticed that we seemed to have quite the 'colorful' bouquet this month. Bill collectors seem to think that making your mail different colors will grab your attention and make you take notice of the fact that you're so many weeks behind. Not only that, but their logic is...'if they can't pay this amount of money, we'll just charge them a late fee!' Hello? If we can't pay 50 bucks, what the hell makes them think that we can pay 75? Bill collectors.....psh! They're all basically muggers without masks, robbing us all by mail everyday. They're hitting us up pretty hard this month too, by the looks of it. Yellow notices are ok, but the red ones tend to worry Bobby something awful. He's already been pretty stressed lately, I hope this doesn't make things worse.

The phone rang a few moments later, and I picked it up to hear Chris' voice on the other end of the line....naturally. "Sigh....Chris..."

"No wait! Before you start in on me, I just wanted to say I was sorry for what I did earlier. In the locker room, I mean. Your butt was just right there, looking all sweet and..." He stopped himself from going into more details. "...Well, I had been dreaming about it a lot. I just really wanted to...'feel you up'." He laughed a bit to himself over it. "I was out of line though. I'm sorry. K?" He said hopefully.

Grrrr...just when I get the nerve to tell him to leave me the hell alone, he goes and does something sweet enough to keep me from strangling the shit out of him! "....It's...it's ok man. Just..don't make a habit out of doing that."

"You know you liked it." He grinned.

"Sure, being molested in a locker room is loads of fun."

"Hehehe, it is for me." Then, I heard his voice soften a bit, and he gently cleared his throat. "It doesn't bother you much....that I told you how I feel. Does it?"

I always found myself having to be careful with my words around him. Whenever he got like this, he just seemed so fragile. As though the wrong pairing of words would cause him to break in half. "Um...no. I mean...I'm surprised and all. But...I guess it's ok."

"Good. Because...I think I love you even more since I told you this morning." He said breathlessly. "Don't take this the wrong way, Jack...but this is all kind of scary for me right now."

Scary for him? "Yeah...I guess I can understand."

"I...I did mean it though. I guess it just doesn't help, you know, telling you all the time. You just...you make me feel really good, Jack. You make me feel so in love. It's awesome and I wanted to let you know how beautiful you are to me. I know you don't like me like that, but it hasn't changed anything. And it's such a release to be able to tell you about it. I hope that makes some kind of weird sense." He's got me listening and trying to excuse his every offense! And it's working! You know...none of this is really fair!

"Thanks Chris...you're really a good guy. Although a bit of a freaky one. And someday you're going to make some boy very happy."

"Well...to be honest...you'd be my first."

I paused for a moment, "Your first 'what'?"

"Boy..." He said bashfully. I could almost hear him blushing over the phone. "I never thought about another boy before you came along. It kinda confused me at first...but now I think I kinda like it?" He smiled.

"Are...are you saying that you were never gay before you met me?"

"WHOAH!" He said, as if in shock. "Who said anything about being gay?"

"But...but I thought.."

"Nobody said the 'G' word, dude! I like you, love you, wanna have lots of sex with you...but gay? I don't know if I would go that far! I mean, it's not like I'm ogling the male underwear models in the Sears catalog here."

"Wait...I'm a bit confused here, Chris."

"Well...that makes two of us. But don't go fitting me for a pair of pink panties and a rainbow tshirt just yet. I don't want you to think that I'm looking at all boys in general, because I'm not. Ok? Just....just you." He stopped, then started again, in a sweeter tone, "Because....you're...you know...'special' to me." There was that silent 'blush' again, and he got nervous. "Um...look, I've gotta go. This is getting stupid. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Um...ok...goodnight, Chris." I said, a hundred times more lost about his feelings than I was before. Maybe they just weren't my feelings to understand. I waited for him to go, but he held onto the line for a while longer. Just listening to me breathe. "Chris?"

"Look...uhh...can you hang up first? Because...I don't think I can."

I couldn't help but giggle a little bit to myself. My God...underneath that super hardcore jock exterior, there was really an incredibly sweet and sensitive little boy trying to express himself. Who would have thought it possible? certainly not me! "Hehehe...ok. Goodnight, Chris!"

"I love your laugh, Jack. It's so cute. Hehehe! Just like the rest of you. G'night, ok?" And I hung up, but not before hearing him mumble, "...love you." I put the phone down and the conversation lingered in my mind for a few minutes longer. The strange thing was I wasn't necessarily disgusted by Chris' advances on me anymore. In fact, I was kinda flattered. I caught myself actually smiling because of it. Hehehe STOP THAT! Honestly, this whole thing is becoming extremely bizarre!

I woke up to a surprising silence the next morning. Even after hitting the snooze button two or three times, I was spared the typical morning invasion. When Bobby goes to work as early as he did the day before, I usually hear him coming home late at night before going to sleep. But not last night. He must have worked a double shift or something. They must have had an emergency at work that would cause him to work for somebody else. He almost never comes home that late. That must be why he didn't barge into my room that morning with trumpets blazing. When I got out of bed, I walked by his room and heard him snoring quietly in his sleep. He was laying on top of the covers, one shoe off, fully clothed....just snoozing away. He must have been really exhausted to have slept in his clothes, clear through to the next morning. I didn't want to wake him up, so I let him sleep and tip-toed around the house until it was time for me to leave. He must have really been out of it, because he didn't wake up once to see if I was ready for school. I wasn't necessarily 'worried' about it, but it was a missing part of my daily routine. I guess it just felt out of place somehow. I left a note on the fridge to make sure he remembered that I was going to Mitchie's after school, and made my way out to the bus stop.

Mitchie and I talked all the way to school about his night out the day before. It seems his parents were just trying to play the 'happy family' role that night, and Mitchie was a key part to the whole performance. You know, sometimes his parents didn't seem like parents at all. They were more like teachers, or a boss from work, but not parents. Not from my point of view anyway. But I kept my mouth shut, because I suppose that in some odd way, Mitchie loved them. After all, he had never been exposed to anything else and neither had most of the kids at our school. Why should he see anything strange about their apparent disconnected affection? By the way he talked about them, I knew that he loved them; I just don't think he liked them all that much. Or even knew them that well, for that matter. With all the nitpicking and nagging that Bobby puts me through almost every day, I can't imagine my life without him there. Without his surveillance of my actions and mistakes, without his occasional hugs or fucked up stories about life when he was my age. Or without his almost daily pearl of wisdom that he'd impart on me in the most unexpected moments of our conversations. I don't know what I'd do or who I'd be without her, and while Mitchie seemed to have turned out just fine...I wouldn't trade places with his situation. I guess the whole thing made me appreciate the amount of love that Bobby gave me. I don't want to compare the two situations, Bobby and Mitchie 's parents, I guess they're just two different worlds. And we exploit the best parts of both. It's our job as a kid.

Mitchie went looking through his bag to make sure he had his homework for his Social Sciences class, and as he was distracted, I looked over at him to briefly admire that gentle beauty that came to him so naturally. Sigh...you know, from the side his lips look so kissable that it's almost impossible to bear! And his hair always flopped forward a bit to hide his eyes when his head was down. Every time those beautiful dark locks did that...I imagined them sweeping tenderly back and forth across my lap as he wrapped his smooth and tight lips around my erection, rhythmically suckling at me until I couldn't hold back anymore. And I'd run my fingers through it, feeling it's soft fibers fall through my fingertips over and over again, letting my fingers wander all the way to the back of his soft neck, tickling the fine hairs back there. Oh wow! I can't wait until school is over today!

Just then, Mitchie said..."I can't find it! Ah shit...I probably left it on the desk at home." Then he looked at me, and after a second or two, he blushed "Hehehe..."

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing....goofball." see? I told you! He catches me every time! And did you know that his eyes sparkle when he laughs? Isn't that cool? Hehehe!

We went into school for our quick half day, and Mitchie and I agreed on when and where to meet afterwards so we could meet up. Then as he walked away, I almost expected to turn around and run into Chris right away. But...surprisingly, he was nowhere to be seen. I didn't know if I should be relieved or frightened about that. I kept walking to my first class, a strange feeling of paranoia keeping me looking over my shoulder for Chris to jump out like the boogie man and molest me some more. But when he didn't, I was kinda disappointed. Geez...did I...miss him? Okay...way weird! He's turning me into a basket case now too. It gave me something to think about up until gym class, my last class of the half day. And seeing him there actually brought a smile to my face.

"Hey!" I said happily. But Chris was even more nervous than he was yesterday. Not only that, but he was dressed already. He usually waits until I'm there and starts swinging that blessed love pole around without shame. This was a different tactic altogether.

"...hey..." He whispered under his breath, visibly shivering in front of me and keeping his eyes focused, once again, on the floor. This time, it was me who was left waiting for him to say something more. But he just stalled around a bit, fumbling around with something in his locker.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"...Sure...I...yeah...fine..." He stuttered.

"You sure? You seem kinda..."

"I bought you something!" He blurted out. Then cringed a bit at the thought of giving in to yet another moment of sudden weakness. "I'm sorry...that sounded dumb, didn't it?"

"Chris...you don't have to buy me anything dude..."

"I know. Really...I know. But...I wanted to." He said, and he pulled a small box out of his locker and gave it to me. I opened it up, and he started fidgeting almost instantly. "It's not much, I know. And it didn't really cost a whole lot, but I thought it would be cool. And I totally understand if you don't like it! It didn't take long to make, and you can just give it back if you want to." I looked inside, and it was a friendship bracelet. Hand made, with my initials woven into it. I was...actually impressed. I guess I had taken too long to respond, because Chris got even more uncomfortable and was almost ready to snatch the box away from me. "You hate it! I knew you'd hate it! Dude, forget it, ok? This was all so stupid of me. I can't believe I would give you something so crappy. This has gotta be one of the stupidest things I've ever..."

"Chris! Dude...calm down." I smiled. "I like it."

He stopped for a moment, almost as if he didn't want to believe it. "You...you like it?"

"I love it." I said. And it was true. I would have expected him to buy me a house in Jamaica before something as thoughtful as this. "Wow...I don't know what to say, Chris. Thank you. This is so sweet of you." I replied, trying to put it on my wrist.

"You...you like it. You actually like it." He giggled a little bit. "Hehehe...cool."

I looked up at him, and his green eyes bashfully flashed away from me to the side. Trying to make it look like he wasn't staring. It was actually kinda.....'Charming'. "Chris? Did you make this? For me?"

He blushed. "Uhhh....well....hehehe..."

"Oh my god...you did, didn't you?" I said. "Wow. How long did this take you?"

"Four days." He snickered. "I've got six more at home just like it, cause I kept messing up. I'm not...really good with this kind of stuff. I had to get our housekeeper to help me do it right. But it was mostly ME though, promise."

"Well, it's very sweet. Thank you." I said, and laid it loosely over my arm.

Chris saw me having a bit of difficulty putting the bracelet on, and he jumped over to say, "Here...let me help you." Chris' hands were trembling slightly as he fastened the little latch at the bottom, and when it was on my wrist, he didn't let go. His breathing changed, and I felt his fingers slightly trace a small single circle on the skin of my wrist. So gentle, so lightly, that I almost didn't feel it at all. But his fear of what he was doing didn't allow him to apply any more pressure than that. Then, he lifted my hand and placed the most delicate kiss on my knuckles before nervously letting it drop, still holding onto my fingers tenderly. That was it for him. Chris was lost in a moment that he couldn't control with all the money in the world, possibly for the first time in his life. He held on to my arm for a few more awkward seconds, not wanting to ever let go, and he looked up into my eyes. He almost looked teary eyed, and he whispered timidly..."Your...uh...your hair...it's in your eyes again..." He almost reached up to touch it with his hand, to brush it back and see the blue treasures underneath, but I knew what that usually led to. And I couldn't have that happen again. Just then, a couple of boys came into the locker room and were making a bit of a ruckus on the other side of the lockers, bringing him back to reality. Chris snapped out of it and let go of my hand. "I'm glad you like it. The bracelet, I mean." He said.

"I do."

"Whatever. I've gotta go." He said, and he quickly took his stuff and walked away. Almost like he was pouting to himself in misery. I have to admit, I felt kinda bad for him. I mean, Chris had some rough edges that definitely needed smoothing out, but anyone willing to be so...adorable about his feelings should be hooked up with someone worthy of him. He'd definitely make one hell of a boyfriend for someone. Cute, sweet, funny...mostly because of his clumsiness when it came to most things of a 'sensitive' nature, and hey...he's rich! Hehehe, can't beat that! Still, I wish he wasn't so torn up over this whole thing. I mean, I never meant to 'tease' him or anything. Maybe I shouldn't have accepted the gift? I hope I didn't just make things worse for him. I guess I'll just have to wait and see how things play out in the end.

After the mid day bell rang, Mitchie and I met outside the school library and walked to the bus stop together, his arm over my shoulder in a 'friendly' way. Still, it meant so much to me. Any contact with him at all was a religious experience. And I was sure to be getting plenty of contact over the next few hours, that's for sure. We got on the bus, and we were both literally bouncing in our seats with anticipation for being able to spend some more time alone again. He was so beautiful...it was such a struggle to keep from kissing him on that bus. It was just one of those days when his hair was just the right length, his body was in just the right shape, and his clothes accentuated his every slim curve and corner to a tee. I couldn't wait to be blessed with the taste of him once again. Mmmmm...such a mouthwatering, addictive taste. Jesus! Can't this bus go any faster?

"What's that?" He asked while I was lost in thought.

"What do you mean?"

"On your wrist. Who gave you that?"

"Ohh...hehehe! Chris did, believe it or not. Isn't it sweet?" I chuckled.

Mitchie's mouth opened a bit, his eyebrows raised in the most adorable way. "Are you serious? Hehehe! Accepting 'gifts' now, are we?" He asked.

"I couldn't help it. He was being so cute about it. I couldn't exactly break his heart and tell him no."

"You're such a whore!" He giggled.

"Shut up! Like you wouldn't have taken it too!"

"Nah...I would have held out for a diamond watch!"

"NOW who's the whore?" I said, and we goofed off for the rest of the ride to his house. Good thing too, because I doubt that I was going to be able to restrain myself from taking him right there on the bus if I didn't have something to keep my mind busy.

We got off at the stop near his house, and practically raced to speed to his front door. Laughing all the way and trying to pull each other's shirts in order to slow our opponent down and pass him. He fumbled with his key for a bit, opened it up and as soon as he closed it, he pulled me close to him and kissed me. I felt my arms instinctively go up around his neck, and he broke away from the kiss with a slight smacking noise. "Dude...I have been waiting to do that since...since..."

"Since the last time we did that!" I giggled.

"Hehehe...yeah." He pulled away from me and took me by the hand to guide me downstairs. "So what movie do you feel like watching? We've got plenty."

"I'm not going to see much of the movie anyway." I smiled.

"Well...which one do you feel like not watching then?" Awwww, why is he teasing me? We can hang out after vinyl ! Right now, I was salivating at the idea of being alone with my scrumptious boyfriend and anxious to suck on him until my lips hurt!

"Baby...come on. We can do that later." I said, already feeling my hardness straining at the front of my pants while I held his slim waist in my hands, rubbing up and down his sides.

"God, look at you! Whatever happened to the fine art of foreplay?"

"Seeing you everyday is the foreplay!"

"Hehehe...good point." He giggled, but he slipped away from my grasping arms, and went over to the bar in the corner of the basement. "How about I make us some root beer floats? I think we've got enough ice cream back here for two more."

"Sounds good. I'll eat whatever you give me." I grinned wickedly and he smiled back at me.

"Stop...I'm trying to be a good host here." But the only thing cuter than seeing Mitchie laugh, was seeing him trying to stop himself from laughing, and that only turned me on more. I watched as he leaned over to grab the ice cream out of the small fridge on the floor, and my eyes were suddenly glued to his ripe young melons. So perfectly round that they almost looked artificial. Like the kind of pert, bubbled cheeks that erotic artists would draw when creating the boy of their dreams on paper. I sighed to myself, and couldn't help but rub myself in the front at the seductive way that his cheeks pushed out the back of his pants. The fabric stretching slightly and showing off the seductive shape of what lie beneath it. The material falling tenderly into the crease of his teen butt...it was hard to keep from swooning. Enough is enough. I felt myself rising to my feet and walking behind the bar where he was, and when he stood up again, I was standing behind him. He looked around and said in a soft voice, "Hey there..." But I didn't reply. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his slim hips from behind and buried my nose in the sweet shampoo scented glory of his hair. I ran my hands in wide circles over his chest, and moaned out loud as my hardness pressed itself against the cushions that I was so focused on moments earlier. Those soft, warm, tasty globes...that seemed to embrace my stiff member lovingly as I grinded into it. I felt him push back, and I nearly lost my balance as my knees went weak. I moved my lips downward to kiss the side of Mitchie's delicious neck, and he leaned forward slightly to put his arms on the bar top to steady himself. He moaned out loud, and I then lowered my hands to go up under his shirt, lifting it up to his nipples as my hands went back to their circular motion. Then I licked tenderly at his earlobe as my hands went down to massage the hard tent sticking out in front of him. I could feel his stomach tighten as my hands snaked their way into his pants. It was a tight fit under his belt, But I was determined to enter the warmth of his erotic areas. Gripping, holding, grabbing, squeezing, rubbing...my fingers massaged him all over down there, and it made him push back against me for more. Moaning...sighing...gasping. We were so lost in the feelings running through our young bodies, that we hardly felt in control anymore.

"Mmmmmm....yeah...ahhhh..." Mitchie was now whimpering and it felt soooo good to make him feel so sexy. He pushed back harder on my erection, in small circular motions with his hips, and that made me kiss his neck with wild passionate pecks. Followed by a few long sucks at his smooth flesh. I began unbuckling his belt, and he whimpered again. Such a cute sound. It danced in my ears and only made me work harder to please him. "Here...I got it.." He whispered, and he hurriedly opened his belt, button, and zipper, for me to reach into fully. I rubbed the sides of his hips to slowly lower his pants until they fell to the floor, and grabbed at his member through his underwear, holding it in a tight grip. I felt as Mitchie began pushing himself into my hand, a small wet spot forming underneath my fingers as his excitement spilled over onto my fingertips. Then I reached inside his briefs until they too came to rest down at his ankles. "Ohhhh God..." I grabbed a hold of his length, and had only given it a few loving strokes before he turned around and kissed me full on the lips. His hands were all over me, and soon we were both entangled in each other's hair, our fingers kneading the scalp and loving the texture of the soft hair that only a teenage boy can have. Our kissing was becoming more passionate by the second, and as soon as I began placing sweet kisses on Mitchie's neck, slowly moving downward, he sighed out loud. Waiting for the ultimate pleasure that I was ready to give him. I lifted his shirt again, letting my tongue lick small circles around each of his erect nipples, and then I kissed my way down to his tight little tummy, pausing at his navel to lick lovingly inside. He leaned back against the small sink, and spread his legs wide...his hardness pulsing wildly in anticipation. Then, I took a hold of his love and jacked it painfully slow as Mitchie wiggled in excitement. He then looked down at me, with loving eyes, and smiled seductively as I gave the head a slow sensual kiss.

I smiled and closed my eyes as I gave his six inches one long wet lick from the base to the tip. Letting my tongue feel out every inch by instinct, and reveling in the shiver that enveloped Mitchie's body from head to toe. He tasted even better than I remembered. I couldn't wait any longer, and I took the head in my mouth, licking at the tip and making Mitchie close his eyes and toss his head back, pushing his hips forward involuntarily. I held my head still as he buried the length of his stiffness into my warm sucking mouth in one long...slow...sensual...push. It all slid in so easily, and I felt my tongue press it hard against the roof of my mouth, trying to hold onto it as he slowly pulled out again. He withdrew all the way from my lips with a 'pop', and I saw his hardness flop upwards like a diving board. He looked lovingly down at me for a moment, his hands in my hair, and saw the hunger in my eyes. He pushed his hips forward, and I opened up to accept him, his flavor filling my senses all over again. With another soft puppy-like whimper... Mitchie began pumping in and out of my mouth. I let my hands wander up the insides of his legs, rubbing his thighs and twirling a few of his golden brown pubic hairs. Occasionally, a sucking noise would escape my lips, and we would both moan in unison with every sound. My hands then traveled around to grasp the tender ass cheeks and squeeze them as I pulled him further into my face. I wanted to taste all of him, to lick at his soft nuggets, to kiss the insides of his thighs, to connect my lips to his in the most passionate way that I knew how...but the taste of that velvety hardness in my mouth kept me begging for more. Unable to leave it for any reason.

Mitchie's legs were getting weak from my administrations, and he whispered breathlessly, "Wait...mmm...hold on a sec." I regretfully let his erection slip out of my mouth, the erotic candied juices of my beautiful boyfriend still puddled on the tip of my tongue. And he leaned forward and kissed me on the lips before rubbing my cheek and saying, "Let me get on the floor and get comfortable. Back up a little." I did as he asked, and he laid down on his back. He kept his shirt on, but kicked his pants off of one of his ankles, spreading his legs wide to invite me to continue. Without another word, I got on all fours and slid my face between his legs to eagerly suck him back into my warmth, the throbbing erection aching to be surrounded by the moist heat again. And I doubled the amount of suction, my mouth watering so much that it felt as though I was swallowing buckets of saliva, seasoned with the taste of the most incredible boy on Earth. And having his smooth warm thighs on either side of my head, rubbing against my cheeks as he lifted his sweet buns off of the floor, only made things better. I was almost ready to lose it myself without a single touch. I laid down on my stomach and he sunk deeper into my mouth. I couldn't help but lay down and grind into the floor behind the bar in an attempt to relieve some of my own built up tension. All the time, running my hands up and down Mitchie's sides, and preparing myself for his inevitable explosion.

We were both REALLY getting into it, literally on the edge of a shared orgasm, when we heard voices! Then we heard footsteps coming down into the basement!!! "SHIT!" Mitchie whispered loudly, and pulled me off of him quickly, his hardness still pink, wet, and twitching, from being so stimulated! I got up and checked to make sure that I still had all of my clothes on, and wiped the wet shiny ring from around my mouth from drooling over Mitchie's length. But Mitchie couldn't get his pants on in time. As I tried to run and head for the couch to make it look like we were just 'hanging out', he grabbed me by the shoulder. "No no no! um....HIDE!" He said, and pushed me back down to my knees. As the footsteps got closer, he got down with me and we both hid behind the bar. The footsteps finally reached the basement, and we could hear the voices more clearly. It was Mitchie's mom and some other lady! Shit! Shit shit!

"And this is the basement. It sort of acts as a parlor for my husband mostly, with the pool table and big screen tv. And Mitchie uses it when he has guests over once in a while. It's a bit too dingy down here for me, though. I like sunlight." She said, obviously giving a short tour of the house. Then, the two of them came over, and sat at the bar! They were just on the other side while her son was laying on the floor with a hard on and no pants, along with his secret boy lover! This was not good!

"It truly is a beautiful piece of property, Katherine. I'm impressed." The other lady said.

"It's pretty small, but it's home." Pretty small? Was this lady for real? This place was almost a palace compared to my scrappy little habitat.

I saw Mitchie very quietly trying to get his underwear and pants over his shoes, scared that they'd hear him if he moved too much. Let me tell you, I almost wanted to dive right back in once I saw him lifting his legs to go back into his pants. His hardness exposed, his balls hanging low, and looking so cute with their soft little wrinkles, and his rosebud almost coming into view...but not quite. Mmmm...I could still taste him.

"Did you hear something?" His mom said. Fuck! Mitchie stopped, his nakedness from the waste down still showing, and both of our eyes widened.

"No. Not me." The other lady replied.

"Ah well..." His mom left it alone, and we both breathed a sigh of relief. "So...as I was telling you upstairs, I'm thinking of redecorating one of the master bedrooms upstairs. And would you believe it, but Cheryl wants to be the one to do it? I mean...please. The woman has the fashion sense of a hobo."

"Oh my, how terrible. What are you going to do?"

"Well I'm not going to let her do it. That's for sure. She can hardly dress herself, much less decorate a house. Did you see what she was wearing to our last party?"

"Oh God, it was hideous! But I must admit that it matched her husband's toupee." The other lady joked. And they both laughed a bit about it. So did Mitchie and I, trying to hold back the giggles as these two women of 'high society' gossiped like two high school girls in the ladies' bathroom after lunch.

"You are absolutely wicked, Claire!" His mom giggled, and they continued to talk on and on about this person and that one. All the time, Mitchie and me were holding in the laughs. Mostly because these were the parents of the very same people we went to school with. These ladies could be downright vicious when they wanted to be. Then... Mitchie's mom said something that caused our laughs to stop immediately. "Why don't I go back behind the bar and make you a martini?" No!

"Oh, Katherine! I shouldn't." The other lady said.

"It's no trouble. I'm making one for me; you might as well have one too. I make it a point to never drink alone when I can always con someone else into joining me." She got up from her seat, and we knew that we'd be busted! Not only that, but Mitchie still had his pants around his ankles! There was no way for us to explain what we were doing down there without giving each other away! And no way for him to get dressed before she came back there! What now?

Mitchie let his wheels turn for a few seconds, and then gave me the signal to 'stay down'. That's when he suddenly popped up to his feet, pants still shackled loosely around his ankles, and shouted "Hi mom!" really loud! I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing.

"Oh dear!" She screamed, scared half to death by Mitchie's sudden arrival. The other lady grasped her heart and laughed a bit nervously as her senses came back to her. "Mitchie! What on earth are you doing back there! And why the devil did you scare us like that?" His mom yelled, still unable to catch her breath. I couldn't help but let a few snickers escape as I tried to contain myself. More than amused at Mitchie's improvised plan of action. God....he's so adorable when he wants to be! I put my hand over my mouth and remained hidden on the floor, hopefully out of his mom's sight. I looked up to see Mitchie standing next to me, still completely naked from the waist down, and still hard and pulsing not far from my face. He leaned forward enough to greet the two ladies, so his nudity was hidden by the height of the bar top. Thank goodness. Oh man....his mother had no idea what kind of sexy visuals I was taking in as he smiled at her from behind the bar.

"Sorry, just playing a little joke. That's all." Mitchie said with a flawless grin.

"A joke? You almost gave me a heart attack!" His mother said, returning to her seat. "I swear, this boy is going to be the death of me, Claire."

"Oh, not this boy. He's much too sweet for that. And such a cutie too, my word. I'll have to come by more often, Mitchie." I could almost hear the smile in the other lady's voice. Was that, like, a compliment? Or was she hitting on my boyfriend?

"Thanks, ma'am." Mitchie said sweetly, and he used his foot to nudge me under the bar a bit further. "So...you gals wanted a drink?" He asked politely.

"What do you know about drinks, little boy?" The other lady asked, even more of a flirtatious tone sneaking into her voice. This lady was, what? Like twenty years older than him? What the hell? She's lucky I don't get up and claim him right in front of her face.

"I know a few things. Two martinis, right? No problem." Mitchie moved around a bit and grabbed some stuff from behind the bar, mixing up the ingredients in a metallic shaker filled with ice. And I was still down on the floor, looking up at his 'still hard' erection as he kept their attention from thinking to look behind the bar. I wanted to lick and suck on it so bad. My mouth was literally watering for it, and I had to restrain myself from reaching out to touch it. I had to be careful though. This was hardly the time to be 'naughty'. We could be caught here, and that would be a problem we weren't ready to deal with just yet.

Just then... as I saw him move to the side to grab some martini glasses, his hard member sticking out and slightly upwards, Mitchie accidently knocked a small stack of shot glasses into the sink at his waist. Seeing his manhood hit those glasses and cause them to tip nearly made me give us away! There was a slight crash, and I almost burst out laughing right away! I had to literally hold my breath to keep the hysterics from pouring out of me! I hope they didn't realize that both of his hands were on the counter at the time of the accident! I let out another little snicker, and he kicked me!

"What was that?" His mom asked, and Mitchie giggled himself, trying to cover it up...but laughing at his mistake just as hard as I was.

"Hehehe...nothing." He said, blushing slightly, and covering his face with his hand for a second. I then felt him raise his foot a bit, and softly rub the spot he kicked me with it. Damn...the second these two leave the room, I'm gonna give this boy the time of his life!

"Nothing?" His mother asked.

"No...sorry............Hehehehehe!" He kept giggling. He couldn't stop.

"Well then why are you laughing?"

"I'm just...I'm happy. That's all." He said, and he gave me another kick for almost blowing his cover by just being there. Then he shook up the tin and poured the two drinks for the ladies at the bar. "Taste it." They did as he asked, and there was a moment of silence while they sipped his special concoction. "What do ya think?"

"I think you know way too much about pouring drinks, young man." His mother said.

"Tastes good to me. Who taught you how to mix martinis anyway?" Claire asked.

"My friend Kris, actually. She taught me how to make it just right."

That's when his mother leaned over and whispered, with concern, "that's the one I told you about. You know...the gangster."

"Ohhhhhh...." The other lady replied.

"Mom..."

"'Mom', nothing. I told you, Mitchie, I want you to steer clear of her. She's not a good influence. The way she acts, my heavens, it's filthy! You'd think she liked being that way."

"Kris is my friend, mom." Tanner tried, but it was obviously a lost cause. And he wasn't one to really go overoard when it came to challenging his parents.

"Friend or not, I want you to stay away from her. That kind can only bring you trouble." Then...his mother took things a bit further. And I really wished she hadn't. Because it was a really fun day for us before she crossed that line. "And while we're on the subject...I want you to stay away from what's his name too."

"Who?"

"You know what I'm talking about? That boy from over in the slums or wherever he's from. The one from school. Don't think I don't know about you going over there from time to time." She said, her words pouring into my ears like battery acid. Suddenly, this predicament wasn't so funny anymore. And I felt my heart suddenly cover itself in ice as her words cut in to me.

"It's not a slum, mother. And Jack is my best friend in the world."

"I don't care if he has the fanciest house on 'skid row'. I'm not paying good money for you to just throw your life away running around with some kid who will probably get you involved in all sorts of bad things. Drugs, gangs, guns...all kinds of wickedness festers in that neighborhood..."

"Mom...enough. Ok?" Mitchie tried his best to shut her up, but in my mind, the damage had already been done.

"He's trashy. I don't even know what he did to get into that school, but parents should be warned about this kind of element being around our children. Affecting their futures..."

"Can you stop? Please?" Mitchie said with a bit more firmness. "I don't like i when you talk about him like that. I spend time with him because he's a good person and because I like being around him."

"Jesus...you're not giving him money? Are you? You know, those people are just like stray dogs. If you give them some scraps once, they'll just keep coming back. Sooner or later you'll have to chase them away with a stick!" And she actually laughed! Both his mom and the other lady! Laughing...at my situation. Laughing at the fact that Bobby has to work to the point of exhaustion just to survive while they sit at home and chuckle over martinis in their mansion. It was beyond insulting. I know that this wasn't Mitchie's fault, and I know that he didn't feel the same way. He loved me for me, I was sure of that. He demonstrated that love every time he got a chance, and helped to make that stupid financial barrier between us disappear. But even though his love was stronger than it's ever been, that didn't protect my heart at all from the sudden battering it was getting from the so-called 'ladies' on the other side of the bar. I mean, is this what super rich people do all day? Just sit back and laugh at people who don't have all the fancy shit that they have? I mean, how sick is that?

Mitchie didn't even crack a smile, and tried to ignore the whole thing. I saw a pout come to his lips as he bit his tongue in frustration, giving me a quick look down on the floor. He was embarrassed for me. But kept up appearances...even though he knew that my heart was breaking. "One olive or two, mom?" He asked, the suppressed humiliation coming out in his voice.

"Two will be fine, honey." He did as he was told, and the ladies eventually left to go back upstairs to enjoy their drinks. And probably make fun of someone starving to death in a third world country somewhere. I can't imagine someone not finding that funny. Right?

As soon as they went upstairs, Mitchie reached down and pulled his pants back up to his waist. The humiliation of his mom's conversation returning his 'excitement' to being completely limp. "Is the coast clear?" I asked softly.

"Yeah...they're gone." He answered, trying to give me a sexy smile, but I could tell it was fake. He just had no idea what to say.

"Kewl...." There was a long pause, and it was then that I realized that I didn't know what to say either. I thought maybe a kiss from his sweet lips would revive my passion for the moment, so I moved closer, closed my eyes, and pressed my mouth against his with a firm but loving pressure. It was good...it was always good. But to be totally honest...my heart just wasn't in it anymore. Not today. "You know...I should go..."

"NO...you shouldn't go! You should stay right here with me and be in love where you belong." I smiled to let him know that there were no hard feelings. But what can I say...it hurt. It really hurt and there was nothing that I could say to defend myself because for the most part...it was true. Even if she did say it as mean and heartless as humanly possible. Still... Mitchie did what he could to comfort me. "C'mon, we'll watch some tv, maybe snag some martinis for ourselves if you're feeling wicked...hehehe..." He could see that I wasn't buying it. Jack...I love you, ok? SCREW her! It's just some silly role that she's playing to look good in front of her friends. That's all."

"Yeah, I know. It's ok, really. I just...I'm not feeling this today. I'll come back some other time soon." Mitchie's frustration was visible, and he stared off to the side, feeling so bad for what had happened. "Hey..." I put my hand on his shoulder and kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "It's ok. I mean it. It's not your fault, k? Love you much."

"Yeah..." He mumbled. And he offered to have his driver take me home, but I told him I'd take the bus. He didn't try to stop me. So I left with a warm hug and went home alone. This shouldn't bother me so much. I mean, I am who I am, it's not like I can change that. And what's wrong with who I am anyway? Nothing! I seem to get by just fine without shitloads of money or the pre-determined ideal of your average income heterosexual mallrat teenager with nothing on his mind but the release date of the new Brittney Spears album. So why does his family seem so blind to the fact that I'm a person just like anybody else? Why do they hate me so much?

Grrr...what am I worried about? Mitchie loves me whether they like it or not. So fuck em! I didn't need them at all. I'm a good person, I have someone that truly loves me, and money can't buy any of that stuff anyway. But....if that's true...then why is the pain still there? And why is it eating me alive like this?


	17. Chapter 17

It was no surprise that Mitchie had made an attempt to call me already by the time I had gotten home. After what had happened at his house with his mom...he must have felt terrible. His voice was so sad on my answering machine that night. I certainly hope he hadn't been crying. I didn't want him to feel like I blamed him for the incident. It just sort of happened, and honestly, I didn't expect anything more out of an old _witch_ like his mom anyway. So Mitchie had nothing to worry about as far as I was concerned. He couldn't have called more than ten or fifteen minutes before I walked through the door, but he apparently was anxious to make sure that everything was okay between us after his mom's display earlier. And, yeah...I guess in most ways, everything was ok. I mean, I knew it wasn't Mitchie's fault and that he cared about me as deeply as humanly possible. It's just....something really seems to be disheartening about the whole situation and my inability to do anything _about_ it.

I suppose the biggest problem I had with it was the fact that no matter how much Mitchie and I loved and cared about one another, we were suddenly made hopelessly 'unequal' just because of the amount of money in our bank accounts. And it never went away. I mean...to me, Mitchie was my idol. He was my everything, my only concrete evidence of perfection in an imperfect world. I look at him and I see an image of such pure beauty that I am almost driven to tears by the idea of him actually feeling the same way about me. It's like fate put us together on purpose through some amazing divine intervention, and I was accepting a reward for something I'm not sure what I did to deserve. But...when things like this happen...I was forced into the position of..._'less than'_. I was the dirty little spot on his record, the nasty little blemish on that perfect face of his. The only thing ruining the beauty and magnificence in a boy that special.....was me. And god, that hurt sometimes! I mean, I knew that none of his family really liked me. None of his friends liked me either, except for Chris. Who, I'm sorry to say, likes me a bit _too_ much! Still...the worst part of our separation in a 'class structure' run society, is the fact that I'm the weak point in all this. Me. I'm the one at the bottom of the barrel. I'm the one holding him back, and making him look bad, and forcing his friends to wonder what the hell he sees in me. Despite all the love that Mitchie could give me from the most delicate parts of his heart...I'd never add up in the eyes of the people he cares about. I'd never be able to duplicate the amount of amazement that he brings to my life. Something about that ached inside of me more than I can say, and made me want to hide my face in shame every time someone else came around to talk to him. I just wish things could be different. Just for a little while, so they could all see me for who I am instead of what I had. Or didn't have, as the case may be.

It was a struggle to choose whether I was going to call him back or not that night, but decided that it would be a shitty thing to do to make him wait until tomorrow to hear from me. He'd think I was pissed at him all night long, and I didn't want to put Mitchie through that. So I picked up the phone and dialed the number. "Hello?" It was Mitchie's mom, and I found myself freezing at first, not knowing what to say. I was instantly humiliated all over again. I didn't want her to hear my voice...I didn't want her to know that the lowlife 'scum-boy' was calling to wreck her only son's life again. I didn't know what to say, but anything would have tipped her off as to who it was. She knew my voice, and I considered hanging up the phone to call back later when Mitchie could answer instead. "_Hello?_" She said again.

"Uh, hi. Is Mitchie there?" I asked. I winced at the sound of my own voice, and felt my heart shrivel up to the size of a raisin in her presence.

"Yes he is who's calling please?"

Sigh...I really didn't want to say, but she probably knew anyway. Making me say it was like some kind of extra punishment for being who I was. "It's...it's Jack."

"Oh..." She says. "...just a minute." From the tone of her voice I could just tell she was thinking, 'there goes my promising young boy's dirty little friend from the _other_ side of town'. You'd think I'd be able to get angry and ignore it instead of letting it break me down this way, but I'm not.

Tanner picked up the phone a few moments later. "Jack?"

"Yeah. It's me. I'm sorry, I didn't expect your mom to answer the phone." I pouted, trying to keep a 'smile' in my voice if possible.

"Don't you dare be sorry about calling me! Don't you let her make you feel any less important than you really are. Ok?" He said.

"It's ok. I just didn't feel like talking to her. That's all. Is she upset that I called?" I asked.

"It's...it's not anything that you need to worry about, you know? I mean...no matter what, it will never change the way I feel about you."

"I know. Really."

"No, I _mean_ it, Jack. She doesn't understand, and who says she has to?" I didn't say anything, just listened as Mitchie tried to convince me that this shouldn't hurt as much as it did. "Look, I'm...I'm really sorry for what happened today. I know that had to really dig into you and it sucks. Because you don't deserve that. You're the sweetest boy in the _world_ and those idiots are missing out. I just....sigh....I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you and put a smile on your face."

I smiled a little, "I thought we were working on 'putting a smile on my face' already when she came into the room and messed everything up?" I grinned, and he caught on right away.

Mitchie made me shiver with that boyish giggle of his, even over the phone. "I see. You liked that, huh? Well, maybe we can get back to some of that 'activity' this weekend. If you'll have me?" He could sense my grin, even in silence. "I'll give you a kiss and a brownie, if you think a bribe will help." He giggled.

"Well....those were some good brownies..." I answered.

"_Whatever_...so? Will you do me the honor of being my 'cuddle bear' this weekend?"

"Ugh...Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Be all cute and...sweet, when I'm trying to find a reason to be mad at you."

"Aww don't be mad at me. Please?" He whined in the sexiest, most adorable way imaginable, but he was taking it seriously. He really must have thought that I was angry at one point. "I _promise_, next time I'll tie my mother up and shove her in a closet! Ok?" His boyish pleas were reaching such a heartbreaking pitch. Mitchie was still incredibly cute about it, but I could tell that he really felt bad about the whole thing and didn't necessarily have any way of expressing it fully. Not that I had any other choice but to give in. He was so unmercifully _beautiful_ when he begged!

"Well....I suppose I could fit you into my schedule."

"I'm sure you could 'fit me' into a lot of places, cutie. But we're talking about something else right now." Mitchie said.

"Hahaha...can we say 'pervert'?" I laughed.

"You can most definitely say that, yes!" He giggled. "So we're ok? You and me?"

"_More_ than ok, sweetie. _so_ much more than ok." It made me blush to say it, but words were never more true. "I miss you, dude."

"Yeah.......I miss you too." There was a short silence, and Mitchie then whispered, "I love you, Jack. I love you so much."

"Love you back." I replied, and we sent each other a quick kiss before hanging up the phone. I guess I was still feeling kinda down about the whole incident, but just hearing the voice of the boy I loved more than anything was enough to dull it an awful lot before I went to sleep for the night. He cared, and he never let me forget it. Even when I was tempted to try.

School was going to be the furthest thing from my mind all week. I mean, it all seemed like filler to keep me sane during that long long wait for the approaching weekend. Saturday never seemed so distant as it did that morning. And since I was well 'stimulated' on our half day off from school, with no...um..._big finish_...I was going to be ready to pounce on Mitchie the first opportunity that I got. When he got on the bus that next morning, it was just his leg touching mine that set me spinning off into thoughts I should probably not be entertaining when I had to stand up in front of everybody. And I think he could tell, especially when I subconsciously found myself using the back of my hand to rub the outside of his thigh. Slowly at first, but more deliberately as he tried to not pay attention to it. He eventually let himself smile wickedly at me without saying a word, and raised an eyebrow to alert me to what I was doing. "Hehehe...sorry." I whispered, my face turning red.

"It's only a few days. And we'll have..." He stopped to look around at the other kids on the bus, then leaned closer to whisper in my ear, "...we'll have the whole house to ourselves."

"Really?" I asked. "Um...you didn't hack up your parents with a hatchet, did you?"

"And deprive you of the pleasure of doing it _for_ me? No way. But the house will be vacant, and the pool hasn't gotten any use in a while." He motioned for me to come closer so he could whisper in my ear again. "Swimsuit optional." He said, and then stuck out his tongue a bit to delicatley lap at my earlobe...sending an electric charge all the way through me and making me hard as a concrete instantly. I looked over at him briefly, his gorgeous eyes sparkling in my direction, and turned to giggle bashfully out of the window before I accidently creamed myself. "Hehehe, you are so cute." He smiled, pushing some of his soft hair out of his face.

"Shut up..."

We got off of the bus and went our separate ways for the rest of the morning. I wouldn't catch a glimpse of him again until lunch, probably. Just as well. The mere sweetened scent of his light sweater was driving me nuts! Have you ever been around someone that you just wanted to kiss and lick all the time? There wasn't a moment that passed that I didn't want to touch a part of him, or squeeze his soft lean muscles in my hand, or just rest my head on his shoulder, inhaling his innocent aroma by nuzzling my nose in the nape of his neck. Just a few more days, Jack. Just a few more days, and he'll be all yours. I've never been so thirsty for another boy's kiss...

The day began, and my mind dumbed down to deal with the monotonous formulas and rhetoric that came with the average school day. But thoughts of Mitchie lingered anyway. It was cool to think about him once I got a break from 'paying attention' to my teacher's lesson. It was like a day full of brief recesses.

"You're still wearing it." Said someone from the side of me in the hall as I walked to my next class. I looked over and there was Chris, his grin just as bold and as wide as it always was whenever he made contact with me in one way or the other.

"Wearing what?"

"The bracelet I bought you." His eyes dropped shyly at first, but not for more than a second. "You've still got it on. I guess you really _do_ like it."

"Of _course_ I like it. Like I said, that was really sweet of you Chris."

"Yeah...well people say a lot of things when you give them something. I suppose I never really believed it before now." He said.

"Well, it was cool of you, Chris. Thank you."

He stumbled along at my side for a moment without saying anything, and then asked, "Do you...do you maybe wanna ditch the next period? Maybe...go get a smoothie or something from the corner store and...'hang out' or something? Just for a little while..." He was trying hard not to be 'intrusive', but his nervousness was already giving away how much something like that would mean to him. Even if he was trying to hide his excitement in asking.

"Oh...Chris, you know...I should really take this class today..."

"I mean, if it's an 'attendance' issue, I can get Alex to block it out of the school records for you if you want..." He said.

"No, it's not that. Thanks though...really. I've got a pretty big test coming up soon, and if I miss something important I'll wreck it and my mom will kill me."

"Oh...ok. Sure. Well...I'll see ya 'round." He said, fake smile in place, disappointment clearly visible _anyway_.

Maybe it was my conscious that got the better of me, although with all the shit that Chris had put me through when I first came to that school, I don't know why my conscious would be on his side...but I called to him before he walked away. "Hey Chris?"

"Yeah?" He said, stopping just for me.

"Um...maybe tomorrow? After school or something?" I figure, what the hell? He's been really cool lately, and he was so sweet to even ask. So I at least owe him another chance.

"Tomorrow? Uhhh...yeah! Yes. Ok...sure. When? What time?" He fought for control, wanting so badly to stay calm.

"After school..." I said again. "OK?" I could see his smile bloom and flourish as the date was set.

"Ok. After school it is." And he started to turn around, but stopped and asked me, "Um...this isn't...I mean...this isn't crossing any lines of...you know...the whole 'Jack needs space' thing...is it?" He almost winced while waiting for an answer.

"No, I don't think..."

"Because I don't want to be a pest or anything and make it seem like I'm forcing you to go."

"Chris, you're not forc..."

"And you don't have to make anything up to make me feel better. If you don't wanna go, I'd rather you just say you don't wanna go. And I'll be cool with that."

"Chris?"

"I don't want you to be upset or anything. I hate it when you're upset at me. And I know that I might have come off as a little 'intense' before, but I'm trying to do a lot better now."

"Chris?"

"It's just this whole thing kinda took me by surprise, and it was so...so _strong_, and so perfect, and so real! I just...I couldn't help myself..."

"Chris!" I shouted, trying to stop him from talking before he ran out of breath.

He jumped back a little bit, concerned that maybe he had screwed up again. "Yeah?"

"I'll meet you on the front steps. After school. _Tomorrow_. K?" I made it plain, I made it simple. And when I smiled, he let out a short giggle.

"I'm sorry. I talk too much, don't I?" He blushed.

"Yes, you do. But that doesn't mean I won't be there. Ok?"

"Ok." He looked me in the eye, as though the words 'I love you, Jack' were about to burst forth out of his mouth and send me flying back against the lockers. But...he contained it just enough to say, "Bye." And he turned to walk away and let me get to class. It was actually kinda charming, Chris was becoming like a big fluffy pet these days.

The day actually dragged along, only interesting during gym when Chris and I were on two opposite teams on the soccer field. He let me breeze by him on purpose almost every time, not even putting forth the least bit of effort to stop me. Hahaha! His team mates weren't too happy with his sudden ability to 'totally suck' whenever I came his way. But I don't think he cared too much. He was much too busy staring at my legs in gym shorts to care about much of _anything_.

At the end of the day, I met up with Mitchie to hop on the bus, and he told me that some guy threatened to beat him up earlier...and he laughed! Naturally, my first instinct was to find out who would even 'think' of laying a finger on my boyfriend, and then break both his arms and his legs personally. But for some unknown reason, Mitchie found it to be nothing more than a shrug of his shoulders. "He said his girlfriend was looking at me, and to _stop_ it. And I was just like, 'Stop what? I didn't even know she was looking.' which only made him angry. But he couldn't really do anything to make me understand what exactly his _demands_ were. So people started to laugh a little bit, and then he just got frustrated and left me alone. Hehehe...I think that means I won."

"Whoopee..." I said, rolling my eyes. "Go get him, tiger."

"Rawr!" He said making his hand look like a tiger's claw...but with a limp wrist and an effeminate swat at my arm. I looked at him and burst out laughing.

"Hahaha! very convincing!"

"What? I'm tough when I wanna be." He couldn't even keep a straight face while trying to say it. I love him to death, but a brawler, he's not.

"Whatever....dork! Hehe!" He elbowed me in the side, and when I kept laughing, he shoved me playfully. "Ok! Ok! I'll stop."

"You suck..." He said with a pouty grin.

"Yeah, well...if it's any constellation, I'm sure you could hire a very big guy to do your dirty work for you."

"Possibly." He said, then lowered his voice, "But there's _some_ dirty work that I kinda like to do for myself." And his hand squeezed my thigh as he stood up to get off the bus. "I'll call you later, k?"

"Alright. Later." Mitchie headed towards the front, and I took a very healthy look at his ass on his way down the aisle, as I'm sure a lot of people did. This weekend is going to be awesome!

I was walking home from my stop when I noticed somebody sitting on my front step. It caught me a little off guard, as I wasn't expecting anyone that day, so I kept my eyes on him the whole time that I was walking towards my house. He had his head down, so I couldn't really tell what he looked like. Tall, bald hair, black, sort of muscular, a couple of years above my age, I guess. Then, as I got closer, the image cleared itself up a bit, and when the guy looked up at me...it was a huge surprise! "Angel...?" I said.

"The one and only, kiddo." He smiled, and stood up to wipe some of the dirt off of his clothes. I hadn't seen him in ages! I walked over quickly to give him a big hug.

"Dude! It's been forever! What the hell are you _doing_ out here?" I asked.

Angel was smiling wide, but still keeping his cool. He always did have a way of making any situation look like it was 'nothing to get excited about'. Even if this _was_ a really unexpected surprise. "Well, ever since you came out here to hang with your cool brother, you don't come back to see your old boring ones anymore. I figured I'd come out to make an appearance."

"How'd you get here?"

"Two busses, and then a short walk. I thought that since I missed you, I could make a trip to make sure you were doing ok out here."

"Well I'm glad your here, it's cool!"

"Are you kidding, did you really think you had seen the last of me? "

"So do you think you can stay and chill for a while?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"Sweet! Well, come on in! Bring your bag with you." I said, and escorted him inside. It was so good to see him again. We instantly hit it off after that incident over Sofi's birthday. His told me about how mom was pretty much struggling to make ends meet like Bobby was. We talked for two hours straight, and caught up on so much lost time. I never knew that I missed him that much until he showed up on my doorstep; it was cool having him back in my life. described them for me. There were sports games, and gossip, and break ups between friends that he filled me in on. It seemed that Angel and I weren't the only ones changing. Everybody seemed to have gone insane when compared to the predictable personalities that I was used to before I went away. It almost felt like I was back there with them. And, for nostalgia's sake, I kinda longed to be submerged in that life all over again.

Angel got up to grab a snack out of the fridge, and I told him that we had some leftover meatloaf and that he was entitled to it. I heard the microwave running the second he disappeared into the kitchen, he must have been starving. Growing up with Bobby for so long, even in this new house, he could easily find the dishes and everything. That's when the doorbell rang, and another surprise was waiting for me. I got up from the couch and opened up. It was Mitchie, and my heart skipped a half beat as I let my eyes land on his smile. "Whoah, hello!" I said.

"Hey..." He grinned.

"What are you doing here?" I giggled back, hoping that he wanted a 'quickie' before the weekend came.

"I know it's kind of unexpected, but my father wanted me to come out to dinner with him and some of his co-workers. I guess the vice-president has a thing for men with 'families'." He said, while I noticed that he was a bit more dressed up than normal.

"So you're being used as bait for instant approval." I grinned.

"You got it. I'm thinking that it'll be even more boring than usual, but I'm trying to stay on my parents' good side so they'll keep their plans to leave town this weekend and not stick me with a guardian or something."

"So...how did you get here?"

"Well, I needed a ride to meet up with dear old Dad for dinner...so who else would I call?" I looked passed him at the door, and saw Kris in the front seat of the limo, doing yet another favor for her two favorite lovebirds. Then Mitchie looked at me, mischief creeping into the shine of his eyes, "I don't have too much time....but I thought you might want to take a little ride around town for a few minutes."

"Tinted windows?" I asked, knowing what he had planned.

"Tinted windows. What do you say?"

I heard Angel come back into the room from the kitchen, and remembered that I wasn't exactly alone anymore for that night. "Oh...you know what? I can't do it tonight, dude." I said quickly before Angel was close enough to hear us talking.

"Who's this?" Angel asked.

"Angel, this is Tanner. He goes to school with me." I said, "Tanner, this is Angel, a friend from back home."

"Nice to meet you, Angel." Mitchie, always the gentleman, extended his hand.

"S'up?" Angel replied, and roughly shook Mitchie's hand. "So you're one of the rich kids, huh?"

"Um...yeah, so they tell me."

"Yeah...I'm sure they tell you that a lot." Angel said sarcastically. "So are you going out somewhere, or are these your 'play' clothes?" I was already used to Angel's sometimes abrasive sense of humor...but this was a little different. It was almost like an instant tension that came out of absolutely nowhere. I don't think Mitchie sensed it right away, but it was there, even if only a hint of it.

"Actually, I'm going out to dinner." He replied. "I just...stopped by to say hello."

"How sweet, him coming way out here to say hello. Say, is that your limo out there?" Angel said looking over his shoulder.

"My friend, Kris...she's...giving me a ride tonight."

"Going out to dinner...in a _limo_. Must be something special, huh? Must be nice." Ok, it was about time for me to jump in and say something before he went any deeper into this. It was almost like he was feeling around 'safely' to find out what buttons to push. I didn't like that. "Say, how do you guys _park_ one of those things? They're pretty big, you know? Do you have a private garage everywhere you go?"

Mitchie wrinkled up his forehead a little bit, and I could tell that he was catching on to the negative vibe here. "Wha...?"

"You know, Mitchie has a lot of things to do tonight. We shouldn't keep him too long, really." I said, hoping to get a little space there.

Mitchie already knew me forwards and backwards, and he knows an evasion tactic when he sees it. But he didn't press any further with it. "True. Actually, I should get going."

"Yes. Dinner awaits." Angel said with a shit eating grin, the asshole in him creeping out a little bit more to silently egg him on.

I looked over at Angel, my eyes telling him to shut up. "Right." Mitchie added, looking back and forth between Angel and me. "I'll talk to you later, Jack. I'll let you know how everything went."

"We can't wait." Angel stood closer to me, as though to form a wall to keep Mitchie from stepping foot in that house. And I did what I could to try to make everything look normal for the sake of keeping the peace.

"Sure thing, dude. I'll be here." I said, ignoring Angel's sarcasm.

Mitchie looked back over at Angel and mumbled, "Well...it was nice meeting you."

"Yeah, so you said." He answered, this time not shaking his hand. He was pushing it. Really pushing it. Mitchie left to go back to the limo, and Angel shouted, "Have a fun dinner. Tip your 'servants' well." But Mitchie didn't pay him any mind at all. At least, it didn't look like he did.

As soon as the limo pulled away, I shut the door and turned to give Angel a nasty look. "What?" He said.

"You know what! What the hell was _that_ about?"

"What was what about?" Was he kidding me? "What....you mean _'him'_? He's a rich kid, who cares? He can take a little dig or two, right?"

"He's not just some 'rich kid', Angel, he's my friend. And I don't appreciate you ripping into him when he didn't do anything to provoke it."

"Who's _ripping into him_? I just told him to have a nice dinner. what's wrong with that?" I gave him an even dirtier look. "Aww c'mon Jack...I mean he was all prettied up like he was going to take pictures for school or something. Just so he could go eat dinner? He's taking a limo for crying out loud. Ever hear of a bus?" Angel was stepping onto a patch of thin ice that he did not want to be standing on with me. Being mean at Mitchie's expense was a topic that I had very little tolerance for.

"Just...don't...ok? I'm happy to see you, but don't go jumping on my friends." I said, leaving it at that.

"His little 'outfit' there probably cost half as much as your rent. 'Nice to meet you,' he says. Geez, what a fag." Angel said, and then sat down on my couch to finish eating.

"Ok, you know what...?" I started, but the phone rang before I was able to rip into him. "Hello?"

"Hey sweetheart, it's Bobby. Listen...I'm taking on an extra shift, so I'm going to be working really late tonight. I'm so sorry." He sounded tired already. How he was going to make another whole shift, I'll never know. "If you stay up late enough, I'll try to bring home some more leftovers from work, ok? I'll manage to scrounge up something for you to eat."

"It's ok, Bobby. I'll find something."

"The fridge is pretty empty, I know. But I'll go shopping this weekend and get a few snacks or something. Maybe if I can scrounge up enough money, I'll grab you an early breakfast from somewhere. Sound good?"

His voice was so apologetic, money must be tighter than I thought these days. "Um...yeah. Ok. Thanks."

I heard somebody saying my Bobby's name in the background, so he was short on time. "I love you, kiddo. I've got to go now. We're busy."

"Love you too..." But I think he hung up before he heard it all. I certainly hope that he gets a day off sometime soon to catch up on his sleep. They seem to be working him to death at that place. And it shows in the bags under his eyes.

"I'll take that to mean we have the place to ourselves, huh? Got any porn?" Angel grinned without even missing a beat.

"Don't think that I forgot what we were talking about. What you did was pretty fucked up, Angel..."

"I'm sorry, ok? Got any porn?"

"I _mean_ it!" He wasn't about to change the subject on me and act as though it was no big deal. He might not have known it, but that was my boyfriend he was agitating with his remarks.

"Jack, chill out. I apologize. Sincerely, k? I didn't know he was one of the good guys." I stared him down to let him know that I wasn't playing, and he stood up to put an arm around my shoulder, "Don't hold it against me. I admit it, I was a jerk."

"A big jerk!" I added.

"A _really_ big jerk, yes, I know. And I'm sorry. Deal?" He said, but I was silent until he shook a gentle smile to my lips. "C'mon, are we cool again, or what? What's going on here?" I smiled all the way, and he grinned back at me. "Thatta boy. Now...where exactly are you hiding that porn?"

I rolled my eyes with a smile, "I'm not kidding around here, you know?"

"Of course not. Geez! Loosen up, shithead! The 'high life' is making you all tense and touchy. _Look_ at you, you're actually scaring me here." That's Angel for you, Mr. Fix-It in 60 seconds or less.

"Quiet!" I grinned.

"You're the boss, tough guy." He said, and for the time being, I guess it was all settled. Not that I wouldn't be keeping a very close eye out for him in the future.

Angel ended up spending the night, without the benefit of any porn. A tragedy that he swore he was going to help me out with as soon as possible. Hehehe! It felt good to have Angel around again. Honestly, some of the stories he was telling me in the time that we had been apart were absolutely hilarious! It was the first time since meeting my dream boy that I had ever once felt like I missed home. It looked like all of my family was getting along just fine without me. Sure, we tried to keep in touch for the first month or so...but I suppose that when school is pretty much your whole life, and you're going to two different places, you just don't relate the same way. I eventually found myself growing further away from all them. And yet, it would be so easy to pick up right where I left off if I were to go back to the old neighborhood.

We probably stayed up all night talking and laughing, and when Bobby came home with some goodies from the diner, we gobbled them down and had even _more_ energy to get out of our systems. Normally, Bobby would have been screaming at me to hurry up and go to bed. He was a big fanatic when it came to me doing well in school these days, and that meant a decent night's sleep whether I liked it or not. But he was a complete zombie when he came home, and didn't even notice Angel. He collapsed on the living room couch for the night. He switched on the tv, but it had barely warmed up before he was snoring...shoes on and everything.

"Bobby must have had a tough one tonight, huh?" Angel whispered as we were on our way back to my room.

"Looks that way, doesn't it?" I said, and got a blanket out of the closet to cover him up with. "Go ahead, dude. I'll be there in a sec." Angel left, and I carefully draped the blanket over Bobby's shoulders. Then I moved over to slip his shoes off, one at a time, and set them down next to him, and clicked the tv off.

"Hmm?" He woke up...sorta...and said, "I'm watching that."

"Sure you are, Bobby." I smiled, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Did you eat?" He mumbled groggily.

"Yeah, we did. Thanks."

"Ok...good. Now go to bed...school tomorrow." He yawned, and snuggled deeper into the blanket around her. "Love you, sweetheart."

"Love you too, Bobby. G'night." I kissed him on the cheek and crept back into my room. Surprisingly enough, Angel was ready to knock off for the night too. So I gave him the sheet from my bed, and he put an old mattress on the floor next to my bed.

"Hey, Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I really am sorry about...you know...earlier." He said under his breath. Possibly more sincere than anything I've ever heard come out of him.

"Thanks, Angel."

"I still think he's a _'fag'_ though." He said, rolling over with a giggle. "Watch your ass around him, cutie."

"I think you forgot that you needed a _pillow_, Angel!" I said, bashing him in the head with it as I tossed it down to him.

"Ow! What'd I say?" And we both broke out laughing in unison for a few seconds before going to sleep. Angel...who would have thought he'd be the one to come all this way just to see me?

The next morning, my alarm clock woke us both up with a fury. I could have sworn that I got a total of three blinks in before I had to wake up again for school. I think Angel was doubly unhappy with the early morning buzzer. Still we got up, and took turns in the shower before getting ready to head out.

We got our stuff together, and walked out of the house to the sidewalk. Angel gave me a big hug before walking in the opposite direction, and I looked forward to seeing him again soon. "Don't be a stranger, ok? We miss you back home." He said.

"You either. Gimme a call sometime, we'll hang out. K?"

"Cool...but you better have porn next time. I'm a growing boy...and I'm looking to grow a little bigger, if you know what I mean." And with a smile, he took his bag, slung it over his shoulder, and walked away. I will definitely have to keep in better touch with him, we always had such a good time. Good to know he's still out there somewhere, occasionally thinking about his old buddy Jack.

I had to make a short sprint to the bus stop in order to catch it on time. I wasn't going to miss one moment of being side by side with cupid's gift to me. I was still a bit exhausted from last night. Having an old friend around you is not good for getting sleep, I don't care how fun' it is! So I tried to catch a quick nap before getting to school by laying my head against my backpack, putting it on the window. I only wanted a quick snooze, hoping to be wide awake by the time my boyfriend hopped on to join me. But when I opened my eyes, Mitchie was sitting already next to me smiling. "Morning sleepy head."

Still groggy, I focused on the beauty of his bright grey eyes and found myself locked in a world that could outshine my dreams in every possible way. "Hey...I was just trying to catch some zzz's before first class."

"I can _see_ that. I was about ready to lay my head on your shoulder and take a nap myself." He smiled. "It is how we met, after all."

"Oh wow...hehe, you're right." I giggled.

"I guess you could say that it was the first time we ever 'slept together'."

"Hehe...you know, if I wasn't so out of it right now, I might have some kind of dirty come back for you."

"You stay up late last night?"

"Yeah...me and Angel stayed up until like 3 AM or something unholy like that. Just talking and laughing....it was really fun, you know? But I think I pushed my luck a bit in the sleep disorder category, and now I've gotta pay the price for it." I said, trying to rub the imaginary sand out of my eyes.

"Ohhhh... Angel. Right." Mitchie said, and faced forward without saying anything else about it. There were times when he and I had silences, just to enjoy the moment between us or something...but this was different. This was more of a 'I'm biting my tongue' issue.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Liar." He looked at me with a weird smile, but I guess I could pretty much tell the whole story from the look in his eyes alone. "It's Joel, isn't it?"

"That's your friend, Jack. I'm not trying to say anything or...."

"No, no you're right. Seriously. I think he was just trying to get at you a little bit. That's all. He's really a good guy once you get to know him." Mitchie kinda smiled, but I could tell it bothered him a little bit. "I gave him a piece of my mind when you left. He promised not to do it again."

"You don't have to do that, dude. It's ok." He said, but I insisted.

"It's not ok, and I'm gonna make sure that he treats you right from now on. Ok? Promise."

"He doesn't like me very much, does he?" Mitchie was trying not to look...'worried' about it or anything, but he was. I think that he was a bit self conscious about what he might have been doing _wrong_ to give someone the impression that he was less than 'cool'.

"He just doesn't know you, Mitchie. That's all. He can be a bit coarse sometimes...but I'm willing to bet that you two will hit it off great once you talk a bit more." Mitchie used his hand to brush his hair back, still unconvincingly agreeing with me with a nod of his head. "I'm serious, dude. He'll love you. Like I said, I told him to take it easy on ya, so it's no big deal."

"Ok. I believe you." I gave him a stare, a crooked grin on my face. "I believe you! _What_? What do you want me to say?" He giggled and a beautiful crimson blush came to his face. "I'm not trying to be weird. Just...asking. You know?"

"Like I said, he'll love you....just like I do." I said, and leaned over to gently butt him with my shoulder, finally giving his smile that genuine quality that always made it so cute to me. "And speaking of total mush, hehehe, guess who I'm cheating on you with this afternoon?"

"Hehehe, as though I had that many candidates to choose from." He laughed.

"Hey now!" I said in shock.

"Don't worry, there was no way you could keep this little thing a secret anyway. Chris told me three times yesterday. You know, if he's trying to be 'discreet' about being head over heels in love with you, he's not very good at hiding it." Mitchie said in a low voice.

"I know, but he's actually kind of sweet about it. It's cool."

"And here I thought he was your nemesis. My, how things have changed."

"Well, it's a well lit public place, and I don't forsee Chris trying anything 'gay' with people watching. Besides, you should have _seen_ those puppy dog eyes of his. It really kills him when I don't say yes. It's so sad, I'm helpless."

"Yeah.....so am I." Mitchie replied, looking into my eyes seriously for a moment. It kind of put a stop to our joking around, and suddenly brought this warm sensation to my whole body, expanding in my chest until I could feel my heartbeat all over. Holding that eye contact, even for a moment, was both a pleasure and a pain. The most beautiful element of life that a frozen moment could hold. He whispered, "I never get tired of seeing you, Jack....never." It was so cute the way he spoke to me when he was like this. I desired his kiss with a passion, but remained well aware that this wasn't the time or the place.

Instead, Mitchie looked over his shoulder at the other kids on the bus, all engaged in their own world of playful conversations, walkman broadcasted music, and last minute homework, and just made sure that no one was listening or watching us. Then he let his arm drop a bit, and took a gentle, but firm, hold of my hand. I sighed out loud, and could feel goose bumps prickle up on my arm. His fingers grasped mine tenderly, his thumb moving in small circles over my skin. It was like making love, the way he touched me. It was times like this that the whole world finally felt complete and I had a definite place in it. Mitchie brought every ray of sunshine into my heart with the simplest of actions, and I was so weak over him. He could see the warmth in my smile, and we sat there in silence for the rest of the bus ride, occasionally looking back at one another to giggle bashfully and turn away before we made a spectacle of ourselves. If only everyone could know this kind of love. This ever changing, ever growing, emotionally satisfying, kind of love.

Despite my continuously growing anxiety for the weekend, and my hazy 'half asleep' manner, the school day actually whipped by me pretty fast. Classes that normally seemed a minute short of _eternity_ were over so fast that I was beginning to wonder if I had fallen asleep during class and didn't know it. I guess I shouldn't question it and just be thankful, huh? The funny thing is that I hadn't bumped into Chris a single time during that day. He apparently skipped out on our gym class and I didn't even run across him in the halls. I wasn't sure that he was going to show up for our little 'date' today. But as soon as that last bell rang and I walked outside, there he was...nervously patting his knees and biting his nails as he sat waiting on the steps for me.

"Hey stranger." I smiled.

Chris looked up at me, almost in surprise, and then smiled back. "God, you look hot today!" He said.

I shook my fist at him playfully, "Knock it off, you."

"Sorry....just a natural reaction..." He said, and then mumbled, "...To someone who's as fucking gorgeous as you are!" But before I could say anything else, he stood up. "So...you ready?"

"You lead the way." I said, and we started walking. He seemed to be good at hiding his nervousness, but I could still tell that this whole 'date' thing meant a lot to him. It showed in his occasional stumble over a word or two, or in the way he would push his hands down into his pockets when he didn't know what else to do with them. I can't help it, Chris was being really 'cute' today. And I never would have guessed that this level of sweetness existed in him until the events of the past week or so. I figured I'd speak, just to help take some of the pressure off of him to be dashing for me. "I didn't see you in any classes or anything today. I thought maybe you had forgotten about me."

"Hehehe, no way. Just had a paper to make up for in English, so I skipped gym to type it out. That's all." He grinned mischievously in my direction and added, "Why? Did you _miss_ me?"

"Don't flatter yourself. It was just a question." I smirked.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'." He replied. "You know...you wouldn't _have_ to miss me if we were dating."

I gave him a strange look, "Hehe...it's funny how you just managed to just 'slip' that in there."

"What? I'm just letting you know your options."

"Chris...what am I going to do with you?"

"We can discuss that when you say yes to the dating part." And he winked at me.

"Stop that!" I said, but it only made him move closer to put his arm over my shoulders. An arm that I maneuvered to slip away from. He was being especially frisky today, but in a cute and fun kind of way.

"I'll wear you down eventually."

"No you won't."

"We'll just see about that. Just know that I'm _itching_ for the day when I get to say 'I told you so'..." Chris giggled as we reached the corner store. He stepped in front of me and opened the door. Ushering me inside. "...preferably after some dirty sex."

"Chris!" I said in shock.

"Shhhhh! We're in public." I swear...this boy is more nuts than even _I_ had suspected. He's completely bonkers at best.

We sat in a corner of the shop and had a few of those swirled up fruit smoothie things, and the two of us just talked between brain freezes. For the first time since I had known him...for the first time since that first day when he pushed me aside and called me a 'slug' in front of everybody...we actually had a normal conversation. One that didn't involve curse words and insults. Although he managed to add a flirtatious comment every time he had an open opportunity, and some when he didn't. But he didn't push it too far, and seeing him so sweet on me....it was kind of nice. I feel like I got to know him a lot better than before, and he impressed me. I suppose everybody is a decent person once you get underneath all the bullshit.

He looked up at me while I took a healthy sip of the smoothie, and I caught him staring with a noticeable amount of admiration. "Don't." I said.

"Don't what?"

"You were about to pay me one of your 'compliments' again." He giggled to himself, a blush appearing in his soft white cheeks.

"Yeah...yeah, I was." Not that my request would stop him anyway. "Geez, am I that bad?"

"Yes!" I told him, but we both smiled at the idea of it.

"You don't...you don't like my compliments?" He said, still smiling, but with a certain despairing tone in his voice. Again, he wanted so bad not to disappoint me in any way.

"It's not that I don't like them, Chris. They're actually pretty sweet..."

"So you do like them?"

"I...I'm just saying..." I got confused, and hovered somewhere between 'yes' and 'no'. I felt myself blush and giggled to myself. "...Forget it! Just...don't do it, ok?"

"I could say it with a _kiss_ if you'd let me."

"I think you've stolen enough kisses from me." I said.

"Hehehe...not enough for me." He sat there, taking a sip of his smoothie with an infatuated stare. "I'm doing a little bit better these days though, don't you think?"

"Better than jumping me in the backseat of a limo? Yes, I guess there's some improvement there." Chris' blush turned a deep shade of red, and I had to laugh as he bit his bottom lip and directed his eyes down to his feet.

"Oh my God..." He covered his face with both hands and giggled in embarrassment. "Jack, I am _so_ sorry about that! I really didn't know what I was doing that night. It just sorta...happened."

"So I figured."

"You just....you looked _really_ cute that night, and it was raining, and we were alone.....you were being _nice_ to me all of the sudden, and...I snapped. I just...I had to kiss you, you know? I felt like I would die if I didn't kiss you right then! And you know what? I don't regret it. I hope I didn't freak you out too bad....but I don't regret it."

Sometimes...Chris could really charm you without warning. I did what I could to keep things from getting to heavy emotionally. So I smiled and said, "I think it was a little too much like Jekyll and Hyde for my tastes, but I suppose I should take that as a compliment." I told him. "It was the last thing that I ever expected from _you_."

It was then that Chris got a bit more serious, and worked up the courage to look me in the eye directly without flinching. "Yeah...look, about....before..." He started. "I know that we weren't necessarily on the 'best of terms' when you first started going to school here...and that's mostly my fault."

"Chris..."

"No. Let me say this. Because you deserve it. I owe you this much. For making me feel so...'alive', you know?" Chris pushed his drink aside and continued. "I said and did some really mean things to you before. Things I'm really not proud of. I made that place a living hell for you and it wasn't cool of me at all. I made you feel like shit, and I'm sorry. Ok? I shouldn't have treated you that way, Jack."

"Thanks." Wow, and the surprises never cease.

"When I saw you for the first time, I thought that maybe I knew you from somewhere, or that I was just constantly looking at you because you reminded me of somebody else. But after a week or so, I couldn't stop staring. And it kept getting worse, and the next thing I knew I was thinking about you all the time. I didn't want to, but I had to. I wanted to be around you all the time, and that just wasn't like me, you know? I'm usually not this obsessive." Well that's good to know! "I just...I thought that...maybe if I could find you to be someone who wasn't so special, maybe if I could find something to not like about you, or make you not like me...then maybe it would go away and I could go back to being normal again. The problem is...I never found anything to dislike about you. I kept pressing buttons and I kept pushing you and I kept calling you names, and you just kept getting more and more beautiful every day. No matter what I did, you never once lost an ounce of that awesome spirit that makes me so crazy about you. That night at the party...I just lost it. I thought I was going to explode."

I smiled to myself timidly, and he asked me why. "Nothing. I just...never expected you to be this cool. That's all."

"Well for once, I'm glad that I didn't live up to your expectations." He blushed, and then reached forward, almost subliminally, to push my bangs out of my eyes. "Why don't you cut these things?" He grinned.

"Quit it. I _like_ my hair the way it is." I smiled, gently pushing his hand away.

"Yeah, well I like your eyes. I _love_ your eyes. And your hair keeps getting in the way. I wanna see 'em...they're beautiful." A look came into Chris' face, a tone crept into his softening voice, and with a slightly uncomfortable fidget...he drew back from me a little bit. He cleared his throat and went back to his smoothie. "Ahem...sorry."

"It's ok. Thank you." What else was I going to say?

Then he snapped back with, "Are you sure you're not even a little bit interested? I mean, for just an hour or so? We can have some really good sex if you give me an hour!"

"Finish your smoothie, Chris."

"I've sucked on a straw before! I'm looking for a new experience here." He giggled.

"Keep dreaming, lover boy."

"That, I will." He said, and we enjoyed the rest of our time together, just hanging out and sharing a laugh or two. Not that Chris didn't take every chance to hit on me or try to persuade me to change my mind...but at least he was sweet about it. It kept me on my toes, that's for sure. It began to rain while we sat there by the window, so I didn't leave right away. But when the pouring water didn't seem to let up, and the sky started getting dark, I figured that I should just brave a trip back home.

"I guess it's just gonna keep on raining, so I'm gonna go."

Chris' face dropped a little. "Do you have to? You can come over for a while, if you want."

I smiled, wondering what kind of traps he had laid out there for me there. "Maybe next time."

"Ok...no biggie." I think he was really sad to see me go. It almost hurt to bring the 'date' to an end. "Hopefully I made a bit of a better impression on you this time around?"

"Yes. Much better."

"But still not enough for any naked tongue dancing, huh?" He had to giggle a bit himself after saying it.

"No, Chris. No naked tongue dancing."

"Ok, but I'm not gonna stop trying. You're too cute to let a little thing like heterosexual tendencies get in the way." He said, and flipped open his cell phone to make a call.

Always the gentleman, Chris got someone to pick us up and drop me off right in front of my house. Even though it was way out of his way. But before letting me out of the car, Chris asked, "Can I kiss you goodbye?"

"C'mon dude, I've gotta go."

"I'm _serious_." He said with a smile, but he actually was serious. "Just a little kiss! What can it hurt?" I just looked at him sideways, and he said, "I was good all afternoon, and I bought you a smoothie. Don't I get a little reward?"

"I should've known there was a catch!"

"Consider it payment for your half of the check."

"Bastard! Hehe!"

"Come on, Jack...one kiss! Just a smooch. How tough can that be?" He asked, looking all boyish and innocent as he possibly could. "Pweeeease?"

"Close your eyes." I sighed.

"Nope. I wanna see you."

"Close them, or it's no deal."

Suddenly, the driver rolled down the window between us. "Is everything alright, Chris?" He said.

"I'm fine, Frankie! We're just talking." The driver nodded and didn't roll up the window. "Um...some 'privacy' please?" Chris asked, and naturally got his way. Before the window had even rolled all the way back up, Chris was anxiously rocking back and forth in his seat. He took a deep breath, "Ok...go ahead."

"Eyes closed."

"Alright, alright. Geez!" He closed his eyes, his shoulders trembling in anticipation, and I leaned forward slowly, my lips getting closer and closer to his face...putting my hand on the door handle. Then I leaned to the side a little and gave him a quick peck on the cheek!

I burst out of the car door before he could stop me, and said, "Thanks, Chris! Today was awesome!" I couldn't help but laugh at his facial expression.

"I cannot _believe_ you just cheated me like that!"

"You only bought me a smoothie! Next time make it a steak, and we'll talk!" I said, and started towards my house to get out of the pouring rain.

"I'm gonna hold you to that!" He said, and shut the door. They drove off as I was walking up onto my front porch. Damn....me and Chris...friends? How the hell did that happen???

"_There_ you are!" Came a voice from a bundle of blankets on the side of my porch. It scared the living shit out of me, and I jumped when I heard it.

"What the...?" I looked closer as the bundle unfolded in front of me. "Angel? What the hell are you doing out here in the rain?" I asked.

"Long story. One I'd kinda like to tell you inside...I'm freezing out here!" He said. I opened the door and he collected his clothes and blankets up from the porch, carrying them inside in both arms. He was soaking wet, and his teeth were chattering. He must have been out in the rain for hours.

"I'll get you some towels, dude." I said, and came back to help dry him off a bit. "You've gotta get out of these wet clothes, man. You'll catch pneumonia out in weather like this."

"Where the heck were you? I thought you got out of school around three o'clock or something? You're not that far away." He said, shaking as his body tried to get some of it's natural warmth back.

"I went out with a friend after school. Why?"

"Well you could have told me or something."

"Well why didn't you just go if you saw that I wasn't here? You could have come back tomorrow, you know?" I said.

"I...I _can't_." He mumbled under his breath.

"Say what?"

"I can't."

"Can't what?"

Angel stopped me from drying him off to make sure I understood. "I don't have any place to go, Jack." What was he talking about? What's going on here.

"Dude...you lost me here." I said, confused.

"Mom and I...we had a falling out. A _bad_ one. Well uh I ran... before she could kick me out of the house." He said sadly.

It finally began to sink in, and I said, "When did this happen?"

"About two or three days ago. I got strapped for cash pretty fast, and I didn't know where to go...so..."

"So you came to see _me_?" I answered. He nodded his head slowly. "Angel...why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I guess to save you the stress of saying no. I didn't mean to invade your home or anything..." He said sadly, ashamed that he would have to ask me for a place to stay. I can't imagine what it would be like to be...'homeless' at my age. He was almost teary eyed, still trembling from the cold of the rain, and I couldn't bear to see him so helpless. Not Angel. Not my brother. I walked over and gave him a tight hug around his neck.

"You're not invading _anything_. I mean that."

"I...I hate to ask, but...do you mind if I stay another night? Just until I find another place to crash?"

"Of course you can stay here, Angel! Don't sweat it, k? I'll talk to Bobby about it tomorrow. Promise."

"It won't be for long. Just until things calm down. Really, you'll see." Angel said. "Now quit hugging me. You're making me feel all queer over here." He laughed, and I handed him the towel.

"A warm shower is that way..." I said, pointing to the bathroom, "...enjoy."

Angel smiled and slushed his way to warm up. What could have happened between him and Mom, I don't know. But I hope it'll blow over soon. For now, Angel can count on me. Friends to the end, right? What could go wrong?


	18. Chapter 18

I put Angel's old wet clothes in the dryer as I heard him turn on the shower, and started them off so he'd have something to wear. He had dropped his duffle bag by the door in the living room, and it looked like he had brought about as much stuff as he could carry with him. Knowing him, he had probably stashed it somewhere the night before to keep me from knowing about it. I just didn't get it. Why would mom decide to kick him out of the house? What could he have possibly done that would be so awful. I guess they just got on each other's nerves or something. Still...that's a pretty harsh punishment for a teenage boy to deal with.

"Thanks man. That feels much better!" Angel said, coming out of the bathroom. I turned and saw him in nothing but his damp boxer shorts, soaking up some of the warm water from his body. He was drying his hair off with a towel, and I took the opportunity to take a good look at him. He had....um...grown nicely since we last saw each other. His stomach had tightened up to show some nice muscles underneath. Not to mention that his chest had broadened out a bit, and his arms were developing some decent sized biceps these days. He was far from being some powerhouse, but he was a stud regardless.

"Your clothes are in the dryer. They should be done in a few minutes." I told him.

"Don't sweat it. I've got some more clothes in my duffle bag. The ones on the outside might be soaked through, but the ones in the middle should be pretty dry." He finished drying, and tossed me the towel. "Thanks." His shoulders had gotten to be pretty wide too.

I watched as he walked over to his bag and squatted down to rummage through it. "If you have anything else in there that needs drying, you can just throw it in with the other stuff."

"That's ok. I've got something." He pulled an old faded wrinkled t-shirt over his head and pulled up a pair of jean shorts.

A moment or two passed while Angel shoved the rest of his stuff back in his bag, and I decided to ask the million dollar question. "Sooo....I mean...are you gonna tell me what this is all about, or what?"

"What what is all about?"

"You...being here. You said you couldn't go home."

"I can I just don't want to. Plain and simple. Mom hates me and she doesn't want me to live there anymore." He said matter-of-factly. Then he shrugged his shoulders. "What more is there to tell?"

"Maybe telling me why you think she hates you would help."

"I don't think it, Jack....I know it. No interpretations necessary." He said, and went back to digging for other stuff in his bag. He noticed the silence behind him, and turned around. "It's no big deal, ok? I don't give a fuck. Fine by me. Besides, it's just a temporary thing. We've been through this shit before and she always lets me back in. Last time, I had to run over to Sofi's house, and her parents wouldn't let me stay with her because she was a girl. So every night she would drop her mom's car keys down from her window, and I slept in the back seat. It was crazy! Kind of cool though..."

"Angel...your in Colorado...I mean, you keep saying its no big deal but dude, your in Colorado This is insane." I said with concern.

"I TOLD you...it's no big deal."

"Your not in Detroit anymore Toto, If it's no big deal why are you all the way in Colorado? Why not just stay with Sofi?"

Joel's face turned serious. "Don't talk about my mom like that. Ok?"

"I Didn't..."

He stepped closer, almost getting in my face over it. "I know what you're saying, and I'm telling you not to. Got it?"

"Fine. Sorry." I said, surprised that he got so defensive over nothing. He pulled some magazines out of his bag.

"Look! PORN! Now we can have good times!" He tried to avoid the issue, but I think he could see the look on my face that it wasn't going work this time. "Will you quit looking so down already? I'm fine." And I saw a tiny bit of sadness creep into his eyes before he covered it up with a fake grin.

"You're not gonna tell Bobby, are you?"

"No. But he's gonna start asking questions after a couple of days when he finally takes a second and realizes your here."

"That's fine. All I need is a couple of days anyway. I just need a place to crash for a few more days. Ok?"

I looked at him, and he was so....'needy' at that moment. He would never let it willingly show on his face, but it pushed its way to the surface anyway. "Alright. But you suck for putting me in this position, you know?"

"No I don't. I don't suck at all." He grinned. "But...the girl on page 7 certainly does! Mmmmmm!" And he threw me a magazine to entice me into letting the issue go. I couldn't do much more than shake my head with a smile. Angel had this strange ability to be so confident in his own master plan that he brought you right along with him. He seemed happy enough, and trying to push it any further myself would only result in him pushing back even harder. So...for the next hour or so, I sat down with him and pretended to be just as interested in the porno mags as he was. When all the while, I was more interested in watching him than I was seeing 'Ms. Candy Cane' insert footlong dildos into places most foul. But I guess it was quality time well spent.

Bobby came home around 10:30, and both Angel and I were pretty damn hungry by the time he walked through that door. You could hear the loud rumble of the car and the flap of the plastic before it even pulled completely into our driveway. We instantly ran out to greet him as we heard the keys turning in the lock and the rattle of plastic bags in his hands. Meaning food from the diner! We practically robbed him of the bags when he walked in, and took them into the kitchen for him. I think he was pretty surprised. "Hi Bobby! Thanks Bobby!" I said, taking them from him and speeding off.

"Well....hello to you too." He grinned in amazement.

We opened up the bags and found a cheeseburger and a half in one, and a extra large slice of pizza in the other one. Both had some cold French fries sprinkled on the side. There were only two Styrofoam packs, and Joel and I made our picks, diving in to stuff our faces. Bobby then slipped off his shoes to go and slump down on the couch in the living room. I had my mouth full at the moment, but as I saw him from the kitchen, leaning his head back...I started thinking. Two of us, two trays of food. Angel was kind of an...'extra' tonight. I wondered if he had really eaten anything at all. If maybe this was another one of those 'Bobby-sacrifices' that he refused to clue me in on, no matter how much it might have ached him inside. Angel had no problem nibbling away at his fries and all, but my conscience started to bother me. So I took another few bites of my cheeseburger, and then got up to warm it up in our microwave. Once it was done, I took the tray out to him and sat it on his lap. He had his eyes closed, so he didn't see me at first. "Jack? What's this?"

"I'm full." I said, and just left before he could force me to take it back. Angel talked to me at the table a bit more, but my main concern was watching to see if Bobby would eat it. It was like having a pet snake and waiting for it to eat the mouse you just dropped in its cage. Sure enough...a few moments later, he opened the container and started eating what was left. I couldn't help but smile to myself. It felt good. There's no way that Bobby is gonna go hungry. Not ever. He looks out for me, and I look out for him. That's how it works. For now and forever. I can make sacrifices to. I just want him to be happy one day.

He was a bit too tired to really wrangle us up at first, but after he finished eating and rested a bit, he sent the both of us to bed. We both laid there, with me on the bed, and him cuddled up in blankets on the floor. Naturally...Angel and I weren't gonna go to go out that easy.

"You got a flashlight? I can look at some more porn before I go to bed." Angel said.

"You and your PORN! Jesus, what kinda freak are you turning into these days?"

"What do you mean? Like you never look at naked pictures!" He giggled.

"I don't."

"Sure you don't."

"I don't." I protested. "Maybe some of us aren't as sick as you are."

"There's nothing sick about this, dude!" He said, and lifted up a magazine picture where I could vaguely make out a man on top of a woman, plowing away at her with her legs in the air. "It's nature....in it's finest form."

"Hahaha! Whatever, weirdo!"

"Well you should enjoy it a lot more than I do, ya virgin!"

There was a slight pause while we smiled at our own comments, but there was something inside me that just tickled at my sensibilities a little bit. A huge smile broke out on my face, and I figured...what the hell? "Who said I was a virgin?"

This comment...got Angel's attention instantly. "Psh! Get outta here!" He said, and I didn't answer. Just grinned while looking at the ceiling. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Hehehe, maybe. Maybe not."

"Get out!" He said a bit louder, and he sat up on the floor to look at me. "No way! You're lying!"

"Nope...I'm telling you the absolute truth."

"Holy shit! Are you serious? " He said, and I started to giggle at his enthusiasm.

"Sh! Hehe! You're gonna wake up Bobby."

"whoah! You're not bullshitting me, are you? Damn! What's her name?"

"I'm not telling you!" I said. If I did tell him, he would probably freak out twice as bad.

"Aw c'mon! tell me! It's not like I'm gonna 'know' who she is or anything!" He pleaded.

"Nope."

"You suck!" He said, then changed to, "Was it good?"

"Sighhh....the best." I answered, remembering the times Mitchie and I spent together, and how much magic he had brought into my life since our first kiss.

"Oh my god..." Angel said, practically bouncing at hearing the good news. "Damn...my little Jack is growing up without me!" He gave me a playful slug in the shoulder and laid back down to stare at the ceiling with me. "Is she hot? I'll bet she's hot."

"Yeah...she's gorgeous." I said, remembering to not slip up and ever change the 'she' to a 'he' by mistake.

"I'll bet. Those rich girls are pretty. They really take care of themselves, you know?" He said. "So what rich girl let you plug her? Huh? You know, if you get her pregnant, we'll be set for life!"

"Hehehehe, don't you mean I'll be set for life?"

"Same difference." He chuckled. "I'm gonna make you tell me eventually, you know? So don't think you can keep it a secret."

"Whatever. Go to sleep." I said, rolling over on my side away from him.

"I mean it, Jack. If you guys are going out, you're gonna have to be seen somewhere together, and when I figure it out, you're busted."

"Good NIGHT, Angel."

"Good night....asshole!" He laughed, and we were pretty much quiet after that.

However...there was something about what he said that stuck in the back of my mind like a needle. Something that made me open my eyes and think about it for a bit longer before drifting off to sleep. Once it had entered my mind, I realized something...he was right...I couldn't hide this relationship forever. It felt good, it felt FANTASTIC, and Mitchie was everything that I could ever want in a boyfriend. And then some! But...so far...this has all been our little secret. I mean, how long will it be before someone realizes just how close Mitchie and I really are? Or sees how much time we spend together? How many times do I bring him up in casual conversation? The more I thought about it, the more I began to worry where our limit would be. And what consequences might come from actually 'coming out of the closet' someday. Evetually, Mitchie and I are going to want to go to the next level. If it lasts, we might want to be together, visit each other, get a place together, or vacation together, or just....'hold hands' in public and not feel out of place or unwanted. There's going to come a time when we get tired of whispering and waiting for opportunities to be completely alone to simply tell each other how we feel. And when that time comes...I just hope I'm strong enough to handle it. Because that's gonna be a big adjustment for the both of us.

The next morning, Angel had woken up before me and had already taken a shower before I even opened my eyes. "You're up early." I said groggily as he got dressed.

We ate a quick bowl of cold cereal before leaving, and I went to put on my shoes.

I got on the bus, and waited impatiently for Mitchie's stop. There were lingering traces of what I was thinking about last night in my mind, and I DID wonder for a while how to even approach the subject with him so we could talk about it. But once he stepped a foot on that bus, looking all well dressed and cute and giving me that heartbreaker smile of his...my mind went blank. And all that was left of the concept was how much sex we were gonna have the next time I was able to get my hands, and my tongue, on him. "Hey!" I said, and he dropped down next to me.

"Everything's set." He gave me such an excited look.

"What do you mean?"

"This weekend! It's set. My Mom and Dad are leaving early Saturday morning, and I'll have the whole place to myself until Sunday night!"

"The whole house?" I asked.

"The whole house! Just you and me." He said. "You can come over early on Saturday, and we'll take it from there."

"Are you sure we'll be alone?" I asked, still in disbelief. I knew we were going to have fun this weekend, but this was too good to be true.

"Yep! I did some snooping around, my parent's plane won't land until 7:30 pm on Sunday night. And the only two people left are the guy at the gate, and our maid, Sascha. But she goes home every weekend to be with her kids. So...we're practically all alone." He smiled at me, his hazel eyes turning green right in front of me as his hair slid forward to curtain both sides of his face. I really wanted to kiss him at that moment. I mean...I really wanted to kiss him! But instead, I just grinned back and replied.

"In that case...I'll be there. Looks like we've got quite a weekend ahead of us." The thought of it got me hard instantly, and had the same effect on my lover sitting next to me. We stayed erect the rest of the way to school, and I kept springing up a few times in my morning classes too. Every thought of Mitchie and me being free to roam around that house naked and have all the sex, all the kisses, and all the....MORE sex...that we wanted, just kept my blood pumping pure adrenaline every minute of the day. God...this was gonna be great! Every time I look at him, I'm gonna kiss him. I'm gonna hold his hand for the rest of the day, and we're gonna cuddle and snuggle up on every piece of furniture in the house. And then, I'm gonna fuck him on his mom's bed and wipe my ass with her pillow! Stupid whore! Hehehe! I could hardly wait.

The morning went by fine, without much trouble at all. And when I got to gym, I was actually surprised not to see Chris waiting for me in the locker room as usual. Either he was late, or ditching altogether. I won't lie...I was kinda disappointed. He was becoming a very cool part of my day. But then...as some of the other kids came into the locker room to undress, I began to realize just how much having Chris in my immediate presence kinda helped to keep the wolves at bay. Because they started in on me almost immediately.

"Hehehe! Nice shoes, slug!" One of them said, seeing them sitting on the bench in front of me. They had maybe been in the locker room for a total of thirty seconds before they saw that I was alone. "You're looking even better than usual."

"Very funny." I said, and turned my back to them, just trying to get undressed and leave before it got any worse.

"No...actually, it's not really funny at all. You seriously need some help. Did you take these off of a dead guy or what?" I didn't answer, just tried my best to ignore them all. That's when the kid grabbed my shoes off the bench and took a few steps back with them.

"What are you doing?" I yelled. I grabbed for my shoes, but he jerked them back. Just inches out of my grasp. "Give 'em back!"

One of the other boys laughed, "He's got a hole in the bottom of one of them! Look!"

"Oh man! I don't even think I should be touching these filthy things! It's unsanitary!" He said, and my anger and humiliation battled for supremacy in my mind as the situation continued.

"Look...just give 'em back to me, alright?"

"Come get 'em." He said. "C'mon...they're right here, dog-boy. Come get 'em."

I hesitated, but then stepped over the bench and swiped at them again, but he tossed them to somebody else, who threw them into a nearby trash can. "Oops!" He told me, and with just one little nudge of my self control, I would have hit him right in the mouth! But I'll be damned if I let them beat me. Not like this.

I just walked over with my eyes down, and without saying a word, I retrieved my shoes and brushed them off. Then walked back to my locker and kept them on the floor next to me. "Look at this kid! Can you believe this shit?" The boys kept egging me on, but despite the shame and the rage that was building up inside me, I kept my back turned and continued to get dressed. "Let's go! It hurts to even look at you, Slug!" Then I head the crinkling of paper, and he pulled a dollar out of his pocket. He balled it up and threw it at the back of my head. "Here's a dollar, bitch! Get yourself an 'image', for crying out loud!" And they laughed. The other boys in the room, even the ones that weren't involved....they all just laughed. Some were kind enough to attempt to hold their snickers back, or turn the other way...but I knew they were laughing at me. I knew they were. And the only thing that could have made it worse, is if I had bent over to pick up that dollar. Even if...deep down...I might have needed it. It was hardly any money at all, but unlike the rest of them...it would have counted to me.

"Har Har Har! Very good, Johnson. You come up with that all by yourself?" It was the voice that got me to turn around, and I saw Chris leaning against the lockers with his book bag in hand.

"Oh great, here we go..." The boy said.

"Yeah! Here we go! What are you picking on him for? What did he do to you?" Chris said angrily.

"He's polluting my vision." He chuckled.

"And what do you do when you walk in front of the mirror?" Chris said, evidently getting a strike past the boy's defenses. The comment made me smile.

"What's your problem, Chris? First Mitchie starts hanging out with this lowlife, and now you. What, are you guys starting a peace corps or something?"

"Maybe that doesn't concern you." Chris replied. Then he looked at the others. "Maybe that doesn't concern any of you. So why don't we just leave this alone and go to class?"

"Whatever. You've gotten weird on us, Chris. I don't know what's gotten into you." The boys started to leave, but the main kid turned to me and said, "See you later, Blondie. I'll throw you a quarter the next time I drive by the mission." And they giggled again as they started to leave. But Chris wasn't going to take that last comment lightly.

He stepped in front of the group to block their way out. "You just can't leave this alone, can you?" He said.

"Do you wanna get out of my way there, 'soldier'?" The boy said, the rest of his little crew backing him up. It was tense moments like these that you can feel in the stillness of the air around you. You could tell that a fist fight was brewing, and I didn't want that. Not for something so stupid.

"It's ok, Chris. Really. Don't worry about it." I said. But he paid me no attention.

"All you had to do was walk away. But you're little 'comments' just keep coming, don't they?"

"I said get out of my way."

"Chris...please. It's alright." I told him, but their eyes were already locked, and I think we were beyond the point of either one of them backing down.

Thankfully, Coach Parker was walking by and heard the ruckus. He stepped in to stop the conflict before it became a problem. "Alright, alright fellas. Let's break this up and get out on that field." Neither boy flinched, but the coach spoke louder, this time physically pushing them apart. "Let's GO! Don't make me tell you again! outside! All of ya's!"

"This ain't over." The boy said.

"Looks 'over' to me." Chris replied, and I let out a little sigh of relief as they began to step away from each other. There was too many of them for Chris to handle. Too many for both of us to handle. We didn't need the fight.

Then...as if I could see the spark in Chris' eyes...or maybe he could see the previous hurt in mine...he struck out anyway. As the boy in the front walked past him, Chris lunged forward and shoved him as hard as he could against the lockers! The noise echoed throughout the entire room, and in that instant, they began to reach and swing at one another with the coach standing in the middle trying to break them up! I stood back and watched the two of them going at it, and finally another teacher came in to help the coach keep them apart!

"That's it! I've got an idea! How about we take both of you to the principal's office! Since your testosterone seems to be so active today!" The coach shouted, and before I knew it, they were both being hauled off to the office. The locker room filled up with oohs and ahhhs and all the excitement that a fist fight can bring to a roomful of teenage boys. But deep down, I felt kinda bad. Knowing that Chris might get into trouble just because he was sticking up for me. I never meant for him to 'fight for my honor' or anything. I would have let them have their fun and then forgotten about it later. He didn't have to fight. Still...it was kinda sweet for him to do so. I don't think anyone's ever done that for me before. Certainly not here at this school. I hope he's alright.

The thought of what might have happened bothered me for the next hour and a half, and while I was sitting in study hall, I nervously tapped away at my desk wondering what happened.

On my way out to my locker after last class, I saw Chris walking towards me and immediately beckoned him over to find out what happened. "Well, I got a lecture or two, but it's not that bad." He said.

"Aww man, you didn't get into any real trouble, did you?"

"Well...." He said. "I'm suspended for three days. But it's nothing to worry about. I already talked to Alex, and he's gonna wipe the info out of the computer by the end of the day. He'll fix it, and I'll just come back to school tomorrow like nothing happened. As long as I avoid Payton for the next couple of days, I should be alright."

"Are you sure you can do that? I asked.

"Of course I can." He gave me the cutest smile. "He's crazy if he thinks I'm gonna be away from you for three whole days. I'd be a basket case by noon tomorrow."

I paused for a moment, looking at him with admiring and thankful eyes. Whatever emotion it was that I was feelng at that moment...it kept me from being able to react right away. Then, I raised both arms, stepped forward, and I gave Chris a long tight hug. I saw him blush furiously, and a slight giggle escaped his lips. "Chris....thank you. I mean that. You didn't have to do that for me today."

"Yes. Yes I did." He smiled. "I owe you a lot more than that. Consider it my way of attoning for my sins." Then he looked down and said, "We do have to do something about those shoes though. You look like a hobo, dude."

I elbowed him in the side. "Thanks a LOT, dirtbag!"

"Hey, you want 'friendly' or you want 'honest'?" He looked at me for a moment and said, "I've got some extra pairs of shoes at home. You want one?"

"I don't need any shoes. I'm just waiting for the other ones to dry out, that's all."

"Yeah well...THOSE shoes were nothing to strut about either." He said, biting his bottom lip with a smile. "Listen, what size are you?"

"Eleven and a half."

"Hmmm...well, I'm about a size bigger than you, but I've got some nice shoes that'll definitely look good on you if you want them."

"Chris...I...I shouldn't..."

"What? Forget about it. They're shoes. I can only wear one pair at a time, so I'm not using them. Besides, I can get more some other time. Just take 'em and be happy."

"But I don't even..."

"Just take the shoes, Jack. It's a gift, ok?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yep. "

"You're awesome, you know that?"

He giggled again. "Can I pay you a compliment now?"

"Um.....NO!" I said, stopping him before he had the chance to say anything 'charming'.

"Ah well, I tried." He said. "I was just gonna say that you were totally beautiful and that I loved you with all my heart, but if you don't wanna hear it...."

"Stop!" I laughed, and he surrendered. then he caught a glimpse of the principal coming out of his office. "Shit...I've gotta run. Bye Jack! We'll get together soon!" He said, and then ducked out to avoid the 'warden'. That wacky son of a bitch was really keeping a close eye on me these days. Thank goodness he was on my side.

I was practically skipping to the bus that afternoon after school. And couldn't WAIT to tell Mitchie about what happened! "Wow! Are you serious! Way to go, Jacck!" He said.

"I still cant believe he did that for me." I said happily.

"See im not the only on who thinks your worth it, hon." Mitchie took a soft hold of my hand and held it down where nobody else could see it. "So did you get your progress report yet?"

"Yup, you?"

"Yeah how did you do?"

"I got all A's and two B's,"

"Jesus you did better than me."

"So does that mean I can have your allowance this week?" I grinned.

"Hehehe, you can have it next week if you want. I'm spending this week's on something else."

"Something else like what?"

"My cassette player is kinda old. It almost ate up that tape you made me for my birthday. So I need another one."

I smiled. "You still have that thing?" I asked with a grin.

"Of course I still have it. What are you talking about? I love that tape! It's all I listen to anymore. Besides...." Mitchie blushed a little and whispered, "...When we're apart...and it's too late to call you at home...I listen to the part with your voice on it."

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah...over and over again."

"You better. Hehehe!" I told him. "You have no idea how hard it is to put something like that together and try to make it perfect for somebody else!"

"Well...you hit it right on the head."

"Maybe...except for my voice. Hehehe! I'm sorry. That poem I read was....it was stupid..." I started, but he interrupted me.

"There was nothing stupid about it, Jack. It's still the best gift I ever got. From anybody. It took a lot of heart and thought for you to do that. And when I listen to it, I close my eyes, and I remember that somebody out there really loves me." He said. "There's no better feeling in the world than that." We were almost at Mitchie's stop, and he hated to leave, but we unclasped our hands and said goodbye shortly after that. Leaving me breathless with his words alone. "I've gotta go, k?" Then he whispered really quickly, "Love you!" And he got up with his backpack on his shoulder.

"I'll see you Friday night." I said as he was leaving.

"And Saturday morning!" He grinned with a wink. And then he was gone. Leaving me to bask in the sunlight for just a little bit longer.

I got out of bed around 11, and just let the sunlight coming in through my window warm me for a bit. I probably would have rolled right over and gone back to sleep if I didn't have important things to do today. Mmmm...me and Taner, all alone. All day long. I can't even imagine how utterly mind-blowing this is going to be. For the both of us. I haven't really had the chance to taste my sweetie pie for some time now, and now we've got like...unlimited hours of passion to make up for it. It made me squirm in my sheets just thinking about it, a big goofy grin crossing my lips. It's times like this, that I can feel my heart beating in my chest without even having to touch it. It's like a piece of him is just swimming around in my soul, and right now....it's racing.

I got up to take a shower and get dressed. I thought about packing a little bag to bring a change of clothes, and maybe some swimming trunks...hehehe, but let's be honest...I won't be needing them today. By the time I get to Mitchie's house, I'll be so itchy to get out of these clothesI'll probably leave them at the front door and not put them back on until it's time to leave. And that might be late.

I heard the doorbell ring just as I was putting some shorts on, and ran over to grab it before it woke Bobby up. I'm sure he could use the few extra minutes of sleep since he's gotta work tonight. I opened the door, and there was Angel, wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday. Except this time, he had a big stain on the right side of his shirt. "What's up, man?" He said, walking in as though nothing was wrong.

"Where are you coming from? I kinda thought you'd be back last night."

"Nope. I made plans." He said.

"Where'd you stay last night?" I asked, following him into the kitchen as he went searching for something to eat.

"You know the twins down the street? Shante and LaToya? Well they had a party last night at their place. They let me crash on their floor for the night once everybody got too drunk to hang out anymore." He opened the fridge and grabbed some ham and mayonnaise to make a sandwich.

"You slept on the floor?"

"Pretty much everybody slept on the floor. That is until this guy Calvin dropped his glass of beer and it puddled up under me while I was sleeping. I've gotta wash this shirt again, I smell like a drunk."

"That sucks."

"Not entirely. Because after my shirt got wet, I took it off and got on the couch....with uh Becky Lindstrom or something." He grinned. Then he whispered, "I got to touch her boobs, man!"

"She let you touch her boobs?" I said in shock.

"Well...sorta. We were kissing, and she thought I was her boyfriend. Then she passed out and I got a few squeezes." I gave him a look, and he giggled. "What? It's not my fault she fell asleep. It's a little thing called 'taking advantage of a choice opportunity'."

"Funny...I thought they called it rape."

"Two sides of the same hormonal bannana." He went over to the counter to make his sandwich and changed the subject before we even got too deeply into that situation. Angel offered me a bite of his sandwich while he was still chewing, but he had ravaged so much of it with the first few bites, there was hardly anything left for me to bite off of. That's when the doorbell rang again, and he went to go answer it for me. He always knew how to make himself at home. "I'll get it. You never know. Maybe that's the millionaire kids deploying an emergency rescue chopper for you."

I looked around the corner, and saw Chris standing at the door when Angel opened it up. He was all dressed up in name brand everything, looking cute and clean like he was going to be on TV or something.

Naturally...Joel wasn't impressed. "Who the hell are you supposed to be?" He asked.

"I guess that depends on who the hell you are." Chris shot back with the same biting sarcasm, and I figured that I had better get in there before things got ugly.

"Chris! Hey...what's up?" I said, moving over swiftly to keep them from trading any more comments between each other. Geez, they've known each other for all of fifteen seconds, and there's already a conflict.

"where's your private jet, big boy." He sneered.

Chris, hardly ever one to back down from an insult, answered with, "Excuse me. But is there a reason that I should even be talking to you right now?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. You were dressed up like the lead singer of a boy band. I thought maybe you were just here to entertain us."

Chris looked him over and said, "Well pardon me if I didn't roll around in the gutter to get as fashionably 'stained' as you are. I thought the 'Orphan Oliver' look was out this year."

"You guys...? Come on, can we play nice for a little while?" I said, making sure to keep them from escalating this even further. Angel was a tough one to distract once he got his back up, but it didn't take much to get Chris' attention focused back on me. He couldn't help himself, even if he tried. "Do you wanna come in?" I asked.

Chris looked at Angel briefly, "No. Not really." Then he connected eyes with me again. "Actually, my dad is off opening a new restaurant today, so I've got the car and a driver outside for the rest of the afternoon. I thought maybe...you'd wanna go out for a little bit. You know, just hang out, and talk for a while." Even though he hid it well, the slightest blush came to his creamy cheeks when he asked, and it was...you know...sweet.

Angel replied, "Gee, hanging out and talking with you. You know...that just doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun."

"Well that's pretty lucky for you then, because you're not invited." Chris snarled.

"Really? That doesn't mean I'm not going, 'N'Sync'."

"STOP!" I shouted. "Chris...let me get some socks and shoes on, and I'll be right back. Ok?" I started to go back to my room, but leaving Chris and Angel in the same room wasn't such a good idea. "Actually...Chris, why don't you wait for me in the car, and Angel, why don't you....just go that way." I practically had to pull them apart from their nasty glares alone. But at least it kept them from bearing their fangs for the time being.

"I'll be waiting." Chris got one last shot at Joel by saying, "Later, dirtbag."

"Fuck you too, yuppie." Angel answered as I pushed him into my room.

"Jesus, Angel. Do you have to have a problem with all of my friends?"

"That guy is your friend? Damn Jack, you can do better." He said. "Why is everybody at this new school of yours so damn pretty and prissy anyway? They all look like Hollywood actors paid to portray high school students. Aren't there any 'ugly' people there, with normal clothes and hair?"

"If you ask me, it sounds like you're jealous." I said, lacing up my shoes.

"Jealous? Of what? If I wanted his money, I could just beat the shit out of him and take it."

"Hehehe, whatever you say, man." I tied up my other shoe, and Angel looked down at me.

"Where did you get those from?" He asked.

"Get what?"

"Those shoes. Where'd they come from?"

"Oh...Chris, he gave them to me." Angel looked at me like I was crazy. "WHAT? He had plenty of shoes, and mine were all messed up. You remember what they looked like. He was just trying to help."

"What, are you setting up a charity bin at school now?"

"No! It's not like that. I told you, he's my friend. He was trying to do the right thing."

"What the hell are you doing, Jack? What's next? Is he gonna start giving you bags of canned food and free soap?" He said.

"What's the matter with you, Angel? Why are you acting like this?"

"ME? I'm not the one who's suddenly ashamed of what he's got."

"Who said I was ashamed of anything?"

"You're ashamed to wear your own shoes."

"Those shoes were old and worn out."

"They were yours." Angell said a bit louder. "Bobby worked really hard to get the money to buy you those shoes. So what, they're not good enough for you anymore? You'd rather wear some hand-me-down sneakers from some tight assed rich boy from school?"

"Ok, you know what? I'm going to get out of here. You can stay here and be pissed off all by yourself. Because I don't even know what you're talking about right now." I said, standing up and getting ready to leave.

"Fine. Go eat your fancy lunch and shoot the breeze with your little fag boy toy. I don't care." He mumbled. "Tell him I said, 'kiss my ass' when you see him." Argh! What the hell is his deal today? Why does Angel even care? He's being such an asshole these days.

I sort of slammed my front door and walked my way out to Chris' car. He made sure to scoot over to give me room to get in, but as soon as the car took off, he scooted up as close as he could without making the driver suspicious. "Hi." He said, just above a whisper. He kept peeking forward at the driver, I guess to see how much he could get away with and still keep his secret.

"Hey. I'm sorry about my friend, Angel. He's got some issues going on right now at home, and..."

"It's ok. I don't even care." Chris said, turning partially in his seat to look at me even closer. "I'm just happy to see you today. That's all."

"We're gonna go for milkshakes over at Benny's. K?" The driver agreed and took us exactly where we wanted to go. Quick and efficient. It must be nice.

When we arrived, he got out and tried to run around and open the door for me, but I stepped out on my own. Force of habit, I guess. He instructed the driver to wait there in the parking lot as we went inside for some 'privacy'. He found us a booth that was as far away from other people as he could possibly get us without seating us outside, and then sat across from me. He was being particularly goofy over me today, I wasn't sure that I understood. "Chris...is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's great. Why?"

"Nothing. You just seem...."

"I just wanted to be with you today. That's all." He said. His eyes pierced right through me, a small boyish grin on his sweet thin lips. "I wanted to see your smile. And smell your scent. And look at your eyes I kinda missed you."

"Chris...I kinda...made 'plans' for today. I hope you didn't go through a whole lot of trouble..."

"It's no trouble. I'd rather spend the whole day with you...but a few minutes for lunch is fine too." He smiled. "I um...I love you, Jack."

"Chris..." I sighed.

"I know, I know...but....it just makes me feel good to say it, ok? I just feel like I have to let you know every minute of the day. It's an awesome feeling." This was worse than I thought. "Do you want a milkshake or something?"

"Um...yeah, sure." I said, knowing that he wasn't going to take no for an answer anyway.

And we sat there in the back of Benny's, sipping thick chocolate milkshakes and having a somewhat uncomfortable conversation. I think Chris was starting to convince himself that I'd be 'converted' if he kept pushing hard enough. Still, he managed to walk that fine line between sweet and creepy so expertly that it was hard to make a judgement call one way or the other in terms of dealing with his affections. I mean, I didn't want to HURT him. I just...wanted him to understand.

"So....this 'other stuff' that you've got to do today...? Is it with that other guy at your house?" Chris asked as he reached the bottom of his milkshake.

"Oh, no. Not him. I'm going out...elsewhere."

"Ah, I see." He paused for a second, and then added, "So is that guy like....a friend of yours or something?"

"Angel? Yeah. He's my brother."

"Oh....ok...." He waited another few seconds. "...Soooo, he's like…Adopted, or something?" He asked, peeking up at me slightly.

"uh yeah, we all are."

"What do you mean all...like did your dad adopt a lot of kids...like you? Just asking." "You dont have to tell me if you dont want. I mean...I don't care, or anything." He mumbled, with a pretend shrug of his shoulders as though the answer didn't matter to him.

"No Bobby's My brother too and so is Angel, and Jerry but Jerry lives with my Mom in Detroit so did Angel. But I guess they had some sort of falling out why?

"Well...he was all in your house. And then I show up, and he's all like...'who the hell are you?' and stuff. I just....I wanted to know if maybe....I was intruding on something..." He pouted. "...Or whatever..."

"You know...you have got to be one of the most sensitive, most adorable, most maniacal, boys that I know." I said with a grin, prompting a grin of his own to spread across his face, and his blush to darken shamelessly.

"I was just asking a question. You didn't have to get all cute on me." He giggled. "Sigh...I want you so bad, dude. You have no idea." I gave him a look, and he leaned back. "I'm sorry. I'm trying really hard to scratch you out of my head. I swear. It's just gonna take some time. You know...with you being so hot and all."

"Ok, enough is enough, lover boy."

"Honestly...it's not just your looks, Jack." He whispered. "It's your heart. I don't think I'll ever get enough of someone with your heart. To be brutally honest....you're so damn beautiful that it literally hurts to think about you. And....I think about you constantly."

I got nervous. Extremely nervous. I probably should have said no to the milkshake. I probably should have said no to the whole outing and stayed home. "Uhhh...Chris..."

"It's like I can feel your arms around me sometimes, and it feels like I'm gonna cry when I realize it's not real."

"Dude, please..."

Jack....you make me so weak inside. It's like I can't breathe when I'm near you. But...I'm willing to put myself through all of that torture just to see you again. And...and be able to touch you." He was shaking at the table, and his spoon was making this tingling sound as he tried to hold himself together long enough to speak. "I know you told me to cool it, and I'm trying. But...at times like this...kissing you is all I can think about. And I feel like I'll die if I don't say something!" He waited for a second or two, and bit his bottom lip bashfully. "Look, I know you have something else to do today, and that's...that's cool. But...if you could just...come to my house for just a little bit, it would mean the world to me." What was he asking me here? "Jack...just....just let me try to make you happy. Ok? I'm offering you all of me, everything I own, everything I am...you can have it. I really can't stop wanting you. I try, but...but I can't. And if you could just...let me try...I mean....a few kisses, or...or whatever. I'll do anything. I'll stop if you don't like it, I promise. Just.....just give me a chance to see if maybe, just for a little while..." He got stumbled up over his words, and I felt I had to say something while I had the opportunity.

"Chris...I like you a lot, ok? But..." Here comes the big lie again. "I'm not into guys. I just...I want us to be friends. good friends. But...I think...if I came to your house, I'd only be making things worse between us. Do you understand?" His face dropped a bit, but he slowly nodded his head. I couldn't tell if his eyes had watered up or not, he kept them down on the table, but either way I felt terrible. It almost made me wish I loved him as much as I loved Mitchie. If for no other reason than to give him the kind of overwhelming love and appreciation that he deserved for being such a great guy. I mean...in another lifetime, I'd be a fool not to want a boy like Chris to fall all over himself trying to be with me. It's just...not who I fell in love with. I'm happy. I just wish he was too. "I'm really really sorry, ok?"

"It's ok. It was worth a shot, right?"

"It always is." I answered, getting a tiny grin out of him. "Any boy would be lucky to have you, Chris."

"Or girl." He added, protecting himself again from the awful 'g' word.

"Or girl. Of course." I smiled. And he waited until I finished off my milkshake before getting out a credit card to pay for the treat.

"'re sure you don't just want to see....you know...what it 'feels' like?" He grinned.

"Sighhh...no thanks, Chris." I smiled back.

"Can I at least see you naked?"

"Yes. Yes, you can." I think the answer shocked him! It took a few seconds for him to realize what I said, but once he did, he looked like a kid with a new bike.

"WAIT! Are you serious?"

"No!"

"No...c'mon, don't play around! Are you serious? I'll take pictures. I won't show them to ANYBODY, I promise!" He was practically shimmying in his seat at the idea, his eyes wide and excited.

"Can we go now, goofball?" I asked.

"Ummm....actually....give me a few seconds. I think I got a stiffy." He whispered, and we both shared a nice laugh over it. He wasn't kidding though, he made me look under the table to see it. It was...um...'big'. Needless to say, I turned down his offer to let me hold it for him, but it was cool to look at. Briefly, of course.

Chris eventually drove me back to my house and let me out. He didn't want to let me out of the car, but I had to pull myself away somehow. Hopefully this little lovey dovey panic attack is only a temporary thing. I don't know if I can fend of his 'charm' without hurting his feelings when it's being spread on this thick.

"I'll see you on Monday, ok?" I told him as I got out of the car.

"Sure. Just..." He stopped to look into my eyes for a moment, and continued with, "....Don't disappear on me, ok? The thought of losing you...it kills me, you know?" The driver looked at us through his rearview mirror, and Chris caught him doing it. "My dad's not paying you to take notes, ya know? Look at the birds outside or something." He was so easily agitated when it came to his personal feelings. It was so cute.

"I'll talk to you later, man. Bye." And I got out of there before he found another reason to talk anymore. I think...it might be time to tell him that I sorta 'have somebody' in my life. I wish I didn't have to hurt him, but I'm sure stringing him along like this isn't much more merciful. I've just gotta find an easy way to do it is all.


	19. Chapter 19

When I walked in the house, Bobby was already up and running around, and Angel was putting his clothes in the washing machine. Everything was already in motion for the day. "There's a few breakfast rolls in the oven, Jack. Make sure you eat something."

"I will."

Angel asked, "Enjoy your 'outing', buttercup?" But I pretty much ignored it.

That's when the phone rang and I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey hon." It was Mitchie, and his sweet voice was the most pleasant thing to touch my ear all morning.

"Hey!" I said, leaning against the wall, a flirtatious smile broadening on my face.

"You know...my mom and dad are already gone. I swear, I got hard the second they closed the front door." He practically said it with a sensual moan lacing his voice. And I blushed a little bit as my knees temporarily buckled from the sensation it gave me.

"Really now?" I grinned.

"Mmm-hmm...I've been thinking about you all morning. I can't wait until you get here."

"Me neither." I said quietly, but now Angel was definitely listening.

"Who are you talking to?" Angel asked, but I silently pushed him away, trying to contain that giddy little smile on my face.

"I want you, Jack. When are you coming over. I didn't wanna touch myself until you got here....but it's getting really hard not to." I could hear the sly grin in his voice, and I was melting all over the floor. I hope Angel couldn't see my growing bulge as I turned towards the corner and put my forehead against the wall.

"I'm coming over as son as I can. Hold out for me....k?"

"I'll try. Just hurry up. I'm waiting for you." And then he sent me a soft smooch and hung up the phone. Mmmmmmm....GOD, I have GOT to get over there!

"That was her wasn't it?" Angel asked once I hung up the phone.

"Her? Her who?"

"You know who! Your girl! The virgin killer!" He laughed.

"That's none of your business." I couldn't hold back from grinning myself, and he chased me over to the couch. "What? Leave me alone. Go do your laundry."

"I should be doing your laundry. Maybe I'll find her panties in it." He playfully tackled me on the couch and laid on top of me.

"Quit it! I thought you were mad at me, anyways?"

Angel batted his eyes, raising his voice to a girly pitch. "Oh Jack, my studly Jack....I could NEVER be mad at you. Not as long as you give it to me three times a day!" Angel began humping me while I tried to push him off, and we got into a bit of wrestling match just before the doorbell rang.

Joel was moaning loud and I was doing my best to get from underneath him. Which is really hard o do when you're laughing. Bobby came out to answer the door, and swatted us both with the dish towel. "No wrestling in the house!" He said on his way to the door. When it opened, his co-worker, Tony, was waiting outside to take him to work. "Hey, Tony. Just give me a minute. I'll be ready just as soon as I get my shit."

"Are you still going to your friend, Mitchie's, house today, kiddo?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'm probably gonna leave pretty soon."

"Do you need bus money or anything?"

"No thanks, Bobby. I got it." I said,

"Don't forget to eat something before you leave. Ok?" He said.

I just smiled "Ok." I said.

There was no mode of transportation that could have gotten me to Mitchie's neighborhood fast enough. I could have been riding a lightning bolt and I still would have been looking at my watch to see what the delay was. I was sitting in the very last seat in the back of the bus, tapping my feet and twiddling my thumbs anxiously the whole way. Mitchie and I have always had enough room in that giant house to have some 'fun' from time to time, but the only time we've ever actually had the whole place to ourselves was after our Valentine's Day date. And even then we were on borrowed time. This time, we'd have hours and hours to do whatever we wanted...and all I wanted was him. Sigh....what's taking this clunker so damn long??? I swear, waiting for that bus to pull up to the right stop was like a four year old boy waiting for Christmas! Grrrr!

I practically exploded out of those doors when the bus came to a stop, and quickly made my way to Mitchie's front gate. I fixed my hair a bit on the way, and smoothed out the few wrinkles in my clothes. I was ready. I was so ready. I saw the guy at the gate, Gregor, reading an entertainment magazine and tapped on the window. "Hi, Gregor." I said, and he looked over at me.

"Oh, hello Jack. I didn't know you were coming by today."

"Yeah, Mitchie and I were supposed to hang out for a while." I said, so anxious that I was out of breath and my voice was shaking.

"No problem. Go on ahead." He said, pressing the button to open the gate for me. "I'll call ahead and tell him you're coming."

"Thanks man." I said, and briskly power walked my way to his front door. He must have run down the steps from his room to beat me to the door, because I saw it open before I even reached the steps. Wow...just seeing him standing there was like an orgasmic experience in itself. He was wearing these soft and silky grey sweatpants, showing this beautiful little 'pouch' in the front. And he had this pure white designer t-shirt on that looked like it was just bought yesterday. His hair was slightly damp from the shower he must have taken this morning, and the darkened locks hung so sweetly, so 'flirtatiously', over his amazingly bright grey eyes. His smile held the cutest hint of mischief as it turned up an inch higher in one corner of his lips than the other, and my heart felt as though he were pulling it towards him with a hook in it. I simply couldn't wait to feel him against me again. I couldn't WAIT.

"Hey..." He said, as he stepped aside to let me inside the house. I could see the pouch in front of his sweats begin to slightly thicken and harden as he closed the door behind us. He locked the top lock, and I don't think I'll ever forget that sound. That 'click' alone, was like the symbol for our liberating exile from the rest of the world around us. Allowing us the time and space to indulge in a passion that we had been restraining, constricting, and suppressing, for longer than any teenage boy should ever have to. We were alone. Alone. Can you imagine? Just me, and the tender embrace of the boy I love. God....life is good.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner." I said, and it made him smile seductively, his gleaming wet lips calling out to me.

"It's ok, hon. I waited for you." He said, and we embraced right there by the front door. Our actions hidden away from anyone who might have an issue with what was going on in here. I let my arms drape over his slim shoulders, and he let his soft hands rest lovingly on my waist. Our eyes connected for a few moments, staring at one another, a smile fixed on both of our faces as we realized how utterly unburdened we were. A sigh escaped me, and as much as I loved admiring the undeniable beauty of my sweet angel...I couldn't wait another moment to be totally lost in his kiss. Our lips connected, softly at first, and then with more fever. The love in my heart began to spill over, and I could feel my very essenece being pulled out of me to mix with his own. There was a certain level of freedom in this kiss. An unrestricted passion that surged through us as we slowly rocked back and forth on our feet...an erotic slow dance that allowed us to balance as our tongues mingled in between the infatuated bridge of our soft young lips. I loved the feel of his dampened, freshly shampooed, hair as my fingers glided through it. I could smell his sweetened aroma, and it intoxicated me to no end. I could feel a gentle tug at my hips, and he brought me closer, his fully hard package now pressing firmly against my own. I loved the feel of it on my thigh, moving back and forth across my lap as his hips made the most sensually arousing circles in slow motion. Our kiss became so heated that small moans and whimpers were escaping us both, and my head began to spin.

I brought my arms down, and his moved up to my shoulders as we traded positions. Now my hands were free to roam delicately across his slender backside, up to his firm shoulder blades, down to the small of his back, and then up again...all the while Mitchie's hands twirled and twisted their way through my blond locks. Our kiss brought to a new level as our thirst for one another grew in intensity. My hands made their way, unashamedly, to the elastic of his sweatpants, and asked no permission as they slipped gently inside. The seductive globes of his ass were in there waiting...flexing...the globes warm and smooth, with almost no texture to the touch at all. My fingertips reached down lower in the back of his pants, until I could feel the warm butter softness of Mitchie's suckable cheeks as they came to a cute little rounded cup at the bottom. I held his mounds with both hands, rubbing and kneading them, spreading and squeezing them, as our kiss continued. I could feel his sweatpants beginning to slide further down over my wrists as I clutched harder to the slightly chubby handfulls of teen flesh. My heart was beating so hard that I could hear my pulse throbbing in my ears. And just as I felt the sweats drop underneath the curve of his ass, Mitchie slowly leaned back from our liplock.

"C'mon...let's get a bit more comfortable. K?" He said, almost in a whisper.

"K." I replied, and kissed him again on the lips before letting him go. I watched as he slid his sweatpants off of his long smooth thighs right there in front of me, and picked them up to drape over his shoulder. His hardness was sticking straight out, bouncing slightly with every beat of his heart, and seeing him naked from the waist down was so incredibly sexy to me. I had seen it many times before, but it was always a heart stopping experience to see him reveal it again just for me. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I almost thought I was going to burst into tears. I didn't know that sexual desire could get so strong. So emotional. So unbelievably REAL, that it could drive a man to tears. But here I stand, almost sniffling, waiting to spend time in Heaven with Mitchie. MY Mitchie.

I reached forward and grabbed a hold of his hardness, feeling it swell and tighten in my hand as I gave it one long, slow, stroke. His whole body shivered, and he smiled at me, throwing an arm over my shoulder and kissing me on the cheek as he gently guided me down into the basement. My hands were stroking him the entire time, and I could feel the dab of wetness at his tip. I rubbed my finger in it, and brought it up to his lips as we walked down the stairs together. He sucked my finger into his mouth, the wetness of his tongue tickling the underside of my finger, and then I reached down to hold him again as he went to sit spread eagle on the couch. No words had to be said. We had been waiting for this for a long time.

I liked that he kept his shirt on, and wasted no time in running my hands underneath it as I knelt down between his open legs. Sighhh....I had to just close my eyes and lose myself as I looked at the beautiful private piece in front of me. I leaned in, letting my warm breath hit it before my lips did, and I kissed it lovingly on the side. Mitchie squirmed a bit involuntarily, and then sighed as he attempted to hold himself still. I let my tongue slip out of my lips, and gave him a slow, achingly long, lick....from the side of his tender nuggets, all the way up his sweet inches, to the very tip. The first taste of the afternoon was always the most exciting. After being away for so long, you begin to hunger for it like you wouldn't believe. I could feel Mitchie's unique flavor heating up the surface of my tongue, and I went down between his thighs...even further back this time...to lick him again. Mitchie's hand reached down to ruffle my hair as he tilted his head back, lips slightly parted, eyes closed. Bathed in the arousing tension of the moment when I finally licked the shiny head...and swallowed him down into my warm wet mouth. I heard him gasp, and just held him there for a moment while he regained control. Only to lose it again when the texture of my lips and tongue began to slide softly back up to the tip again. I let my hands rest delicately on the tops of his tender thighs, and I could feel them tremble beneath my fingertips. A boyish whimper escaped his lips, and I increased my suction to let him know that my only purpose at the moment was to worship him to the fullest. To satisfy his every hunger, his every desire, and claim him as my own...forever.

"Wait..." Mitchie whispered breathlessly, and I saw him open his eyes. With a hand gesture on my cheek, he brought me up to kiss him sweetly on the lips, and he reached down to begin undressing me. The pants, the underwear, the shirt, the socks...I soon sat on the couch beside him, naked as the day I was born, kissing him again as if for the first time. He leaned over and put his head in my lap, his soft silky mouth instantly engulfing me in its warmth and his fingers lightly touching my balls underneath. His tongue was so wet, so slippery, I thought I would slide right off of the couch. And then he stopped..."Hold on...." He said, kissing me briefly before reaching in front the couch to grab a bottle of lubricant from the coffee table. "I secretly bought it online. It's supposed to be even better than the vaseline we've been using." He smiled. "Here, check this out." He took my hand, and put a little dollop of lubricant on my index finger. I rubbed my finger and thumb together....and felt the amazingly slick glide of the solution on my skin.

"Oooh..." I said, and Mitchie giggled sweetly, kissing me on the cheek as he put a healthier dose in my hand.

"Here, you do it. I don't wanna make you shoot too quick." He whispered, and began to kiss and lick at my ear as I applied the lubricant to my rigid member. Wow...it was soooo slippery, so liquid and cool and it made my hand slide down the entire shaft without any friction at all. Geez! I had heard of this stuff before, but I'd never actually used it before. This is, like...WOW! "Here...put some in me." Mitchie said, and lifted a leg up high to give me access to his tight hole. Hearing those words come from his mouth was almost enough to make me explode right there. But thankfully, I kept my calm, and used my fingers to rub some of the lubricant between his cheeks. The cleft of his warm ass was so smooth, and when I reached his pucker, it opened up for me...accepting the intrusion...anticipating the mindblowing sexual experience that was about to take place.

"Um....ok..." I panted, once I was through. Mitchie put the cap back on the bottle and put it on the table. Then, he kissed me on the lips briefly, before swinging a leg over to straddle me on the couch. His eyes met mine, even under his cascade of soft brown hair as he looked down at my lustful expression. He balanced on his coltish haunches, and gave me another empassioned kiss before scooting up slightly to position my hardness at his entrance. When he did, I felt his tip poke me gently in the stomach, and it left a small wet spot there, making me moan outloud at how aroused he was by the whole situation. It was like our sexual interest was feeding off of one another, our hearts pounding, our breath trying to keep up with the adrenaline pouring into our system. I felt him sit back a bit, his hand on my stiffness, and I felt the very tip touch his wrinkled rosebud. "

Oh man....ok...here we go....hold out for as long as you can Jack." He applied pressure, allowing his gentle weight to guide me into him. With a slight pop...I penetrated his extremely tight hole...and then it was a slow progression downward as I slipped into the heated gelatin moistness of his fiery insides. With every inch that he swallowed into him, my body got more and more tense, not knowing how to deal with a feeling this pleasurable. Even through squinted eyes, Mitchie looked at me the whole way down, and with the added help of the lubricant...I was beyond an orgasmic rush! In fact, I was desperately clutching the cushions on the couch just to hold myself still.

Then, I felt the bubbled softness of his globes resting comfortably on my thighs, and we both had to let out a huge sigh of relief. A breath that we had been holding in since my tip first popped inside of him. With an almost invisible sheen of sweat on his forehead, and a sexy smile, Mitchie leaned forward to kiss me again on the lips. "You're in." He moaned playfully.

"Yeah....I'm in." I grinned, and kissed him again. "I love you, Mitchie. I mean it, I just...I can't believe how much I really REALLY love you." It felt as though the words had to tear a hole in my heart just to rise to the surface. I don't think I've ever meant anything more seriously than I did at that very moment.

I saw Mitchie, look up at the ceiling for a second, a little blush in his cheeks, and then he looked back down at me again. He bashfully bit his bottom lip, and smiled at me. "I love you too, Jack. You have no idea how happy it makes me to just be here alone with you." Our lips connected again, and I let my fingers pull up the bottom of his t-shirt so that he could slip it over his head. And once we were both one hundred percent naked, he rested his hands on my collarbone, up by my neck, and leaned forward to kiss me delicately on the forehead. With me still inside him as he did, we both caught a heated shiver from the motion of his body. I could have sworn that I felt that little button inside of him that always drives him so wild. So I pushed up into him a little bit, and heard him whimper in my ear. I sorta shook my hips slowly back and forth, feeling that little knot inside of him and rubbing my tip across it a few times. Back and forth, to and fro, just wiggling myself inside him and watching his face as he was overcome with a level of excitement that I don't think that I had seen in him before. "Mmmmm....Jesus, Jack! That feels.....REALLY good."

"Yeah?" I said, doing it a bit more, and observing Mitchie as he tried to contain himself.

"Fuck yeah! Do that again." He said, barely able to keep the breath in his lungs from the orgasmic sensation. I rocked around some more, and he gripped my shoulders hard, almost digging his nails in, his hardness pulsing and throbbing and leaking as though it was going to explode any minute. He was REALLY liking this! He began making this little high pitched whimpers that sounded a bit like a lonely puppy waiting at the front door for his playmate to come home. And when I pushed myself into his tunnel a bit deeper...he almost screamed.

He didn't wait any longer, and began to lift himself up and down on my inches, his constricted hole sucking at me passionately as he began a very slow erotic bounce on my lap. He leaned forward some more, his hardness pressing into my soft stomach, his chest pressed against my chin, as he held on to me for dear life. My hands ran all over his back and sides as he went up and down on me. Mostly reaching down to grab at the soft fleshy globes of his oh so soft cheeks. His chest was right in front of my face, and my lips and tongue reached out to tease his nipples as he continued to please me. His moans and wails got stronger, and I kept it up. The stiff little nips danced on my tongue, and I sucked hard at the pointy surface as they went up and down with his smooth motions, giving Mitchie the kind of experience that he'd never forget. I moaned in desperation, feeling myself sink deep into his snug little tunnel again and again with the pressure of his fragile body weight. The sounds coming from that basement....my God...there's no way we could get away with this if his parents were home.

Mitchie's hands held firmly to my shoulders as his strong legs lifted him up and a lowered him down, his knees making little indents in the couch on either side of me. We tried to tongue kiss each other, but the movement wouldn't allow us to stay connected for long. I wiggled my hips a bit more, again stimulating that inner peach of his, and it drove him wild. With every sensual rise from the bottom of my shaft to the top, Mitchie would gently clamp down on me with his cheeks, squeezing them together and tightly gripping me as his inner walls attempted to battle the irresistibly smooth polish of his lubrication. I could feel his tightness close around me like shrink wrap, and just as he reached the sensitive ridge, my tip swelling and pulsing with desire, he would release some of his vice like grip, and slide seductively down again, until his sack rested in my soft nest of hair at the base. This was heaven.

I leaned my head back against the back of the couch, and seizing the opportunity, Mitchie hunched forward to kiss, lick, and suck at the tender nape of my neck. That was enough to push me over the edge, and I knew that an inevitable crash was coming. There was no stopping it now. I let my hands grab his slim waist tightly, and began to push further up into him as I brought him down harder on my lap. Mitchie softly squealed, knowing that I was so close, and clenched even tighter onto my hardness, the glide of my entry feeling so overwhelmingly good that it nearly put my body into a panic. Mitchie let go of my shoulders, and held on to the back of the couch, a hand on either side of my head, and he kissed me deeply on the lips. Then his lips slid to the side to chew lovingly at my neck again. I loved the feel of his lips, applying a gentle suction to my skin after a warm wet kitten lick of his tongue. It was coming. A rush. A flash. An orgasm so uge that it nearly hurt to hold it back for a second longer. It was then that Mitchie leaned back a bit, his hands on my knees, and bounced at a feverish pitch, finally bringing me a relief from the building climax within me. I began to let go, the pulses sending splash after splash of my seed deep inside of him while a single tear ran out of my eye from the fury of my release. I gasped and panted and moaned...wiggling uncontrollably beneath him. And just as my orgasm began to subside...Mitchie erupted between us without even touching himself. He jerked himself forward, wrapping both of his arms around my head, holding me close to his chest, jerking and squirming like a fish out of water, as his body was completely enveloped in the throws of passion. I felt his thighs clamp up around me, and he hugged me tight, kissing the top of my head as he tried to stop his spasming body from losing control. I could feel it. I could feel his orgasm from the inside. His cozy fitting walls would tense and relax, tense and relax, making a fist around my sensitive tip and then letting it go in rapid succession. It left us both breathless. Completely and totally breathless. And as we huffed and puffed, kissing and lick each other softly as we tried to regain our hold on reality again...we smiled at one another. Knowing that this was only the beginning. We still had a whole day left to be together. That thought alone, could keep me weightless forever.

Eventually, Mitchie and I cooled down a bit, and slid off of the couch and down to the floor. I made the mistake of reaching for my pants and boxers after our first explosion. Hehehe, I tried to slip them on over my foot, and Mitchie playfully slapped my hand away. I tried again, and he looked at me, smiling, as he slapped my hand again. "Hehehe, what are you doing?" He giggled.

"I'm getting dressed. What's it look like? Hehehe!"

"Why?" His eyes met mine, glimmering with an extra brightness that matched the splendor of his smile. And it was then that I remembered that we were in the house alone this time. That I didn't have to cover up or hurry off or worry about being found out.

"Oh yeah. Sorry...force of habit." I grinned, and took my boxers all the way off again. As soon as I set them down on the floor, Mitchie reached over me, grabbed a hold of them, and threw them across the room as far as his arm strength would allow. I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

That's when he kissed me on the lips and said, "I don't want anything standing between me and your body today. You're totally mine until I say otherwise." He grinned sweetly at me, and it was so cute that I was drawn in for another kiss. We hardened again only minutes after our first encounter, and the next few minutes led to almost three full hours of repeated marathon sex. Again and again, as many times as we could get stiff again....and even a few times when we couldn't. Every kiss, every suck, every extended lick across each other's body, was enjoyed and savored with a heightened sense of liberation. We must have rolled from one end of that basement floor to the other. The only thing that stopped us from going at it was the fact that we were starting to get hungry. My arms and legs were sore, my lips hurt, my tongue was tired, and my erection....it HURT to get hard at this point. But I couldn't help it. And once it was in my lover's mouth, everything was right again. Three hours...I didn't even think that was possible. I wonder if we can go even longer?

Finally, we took a rest, and lay on the carpeted floor in each other's arms. We cuddled so closely that it felt like we were one entity. Our arms and legs were wrapped tightly around one another, and we didn't want to move. Our nude bodies exchanged body heat freely, and every word that we spoke vibrated warmly through our unbreakable connection. I was hoping that today would be the most amazing experience of my entire life....leave it to Mitchie to exceed my expectations.

"This is so nice." He said to me softly, his head resting gently on my chest as I petted his silky strands of hair. "Just...being here with you is better than any dream I've ever had, Jack. I mean that."

It was almost painful to feel so good inside. My heart was bursting, and I couldn't imagine that someone so beautiful, so caring, who had everything going for him ad could have any boy that he wanted...chose me. ME. The idea of it made me so insecure inside, wondering if he was going to suddenly wake up one day and realize his 'mistake'. But as we lay their naked on his floor, his hand rubbing small circles on my flat stomach, and mine caressing the smooth creamy skin of his back and shoulder...I couldn't argue with the living fantasy that I had become a part of. My only dread was getting hard again. Hehehe!

"I wish we could do this all the time." I whispered. And he looked up briefly to give me a peck on the lips.

"Me too."

A silence fell between us for a moment, and I asked..."Mitchie? Do you think we'll ever get a chance to be together like this forever? I mean...would we have to tell somebody or something?"

"You mean about the secret and all?" He answered.

"Yeah."

"I don't know." He said honestly. "I haven't thought about it much, but...."

"But it's crossed your mind." I said, finishing his sentence.

"Yeah. It has." Mitchie sighed softly, and I felt his lips pressed tenderly against my chest. "But it never really mattered to me one way or the other."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I love you. Whether other people know that or not doesn't matter to me. You and I know what's real." He kissed my chest again. "And if you ever wanna kiss me or hold my hand in public....I wouldn't mind."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah....really." His eyes connected to mine, and he wiggled his cute little nose at me. "You taste like cum. You know that, right?" He giggled and I gave him a little swat on his bare bottom.

"That's your fault. You started it by spraying me first." I laughed, and he playfully pinched my nipples. "Ow ow ow....I give! I give!"

"C'mon...let's take a shower. K? Then we'll get something to eat."

"Sounds good to me." I said, and we went upstairs hand in hand. Still completely nude, we pit-patted our bare feet across his kitchen floor and went upstairs. I could see him getting hard again, and it set me off to join his position. We simply couldn't get enough. We should definitely do this more often.

We took a shower, but it took a long time. It mostly just us kissing and stroking each other by hand, rubbing soap on each other, shampooing each other's hair, and then more kissing. Our tongues wrapped around each other lovingly, slowly, erotically sliding across one another. I loved the feel of Mitchite's ass when it was wet. Just grabbing it in my fingers and squeezing it made me soooooo horny. When he turned around and pressed it against me, I almost erupted again. The spongy cheeks felt so good against me, and with his back against my chest, I sensually began to hold him around his soft middle, and slowly lick the cascading bathwater from his neck. It was an amazing experience...cut short only by the fact that we ran out of hot water and the cold shower was a shock to the system. Mitchie was the first one to feel it, and tensed up around the shoulders as he broke our kiss. I asked him what was wrong as he danced around a bit, almost crying out from the feeling, and then he spun me around to get the ice cold spray as well. We burst out into a fit of giggles as we wrestled to push each other under the nozzle and find shelter from the arctic rain showering down on us. Until he finally shut it off and spared us the horror.

We dried ourselves off thoroughly, and he gave me a thick white fluffy robe that I think must have belonged to his dad, and he wore one that looked almost identical. He left it open, and he was still rock hard. He looked down at mine, and walked up to hug me close...our hard inches dueling between us. You can't imagine how sexy he looks in an open robe with nothing on underneath. Smelling like perfumed soap and cocconut shampoo. We kissed while standing up for a while, and then he grinned at me. "Would you hate me if I said I was all...hot for you again?"

"Hehehe, don't. I'm gonna sprain something down there if we keep this up." I said.

"So?"

"We just took a shower to clean up from the last few times." I argued.

"The water will warm up again by the time we finish." He bit his bottom lips again, delicately twisting his waist for me and tantalizing me with the swing of his succulent equipment.

"I thought we were gonna get something to eat..." Hehehe, I'd say anything to take a break at this point. But if he really wanted to, I doubt I'd be able to say no.

"I've got something for you to eat right here." He smirked.

"Sigh...are you serious? I mean...you wanna?"

"Yeah. I do. I mean...do you wanna wait....or..."

He was too cute to wait for. Besides, his eyes were making me melt as the sexual tension behind them turned them bright green. "Nah...one more time. For now. Then we eat. K?"

"Ok." He said. "But not here. Let's go out to the pool. I wanna know what it's like to make love outside."

"Hehehe, whoah...really? That sounds hot."

"Cool! I tell you what, you go out there and stay all sexy for me, and I'll join you in a second. K?"

I kissed him softly on the mouth, our open robes bringing us flesh to flesh again. "Ok babe. I'll see you in a few minutes." I saw him go back into the bathroom to turn off the lights and all, and he said he was going to gather up our clothes from downstairs and put them up in his room before we lost something. I walked downstairs and was heading back for the kitchen when I suddenly saw the form of a PERSON standing just around the corner. I quickly closed my robe, and stood there like a deer in headlights as a slightly older woman turned around to see me standing there in Mitchie's father's robe! "Um....HI!" I said out loud, too terrified to really hide at this point.

"Hello..." The lady said, with an accent that I couldn't quite place. "...Are you a friend of Mitchie's?"

"Um....uh...well..." I stuttered, and that's when Mitchie walked up behind me.

"I thought you were going out to the....WHOAH!" He stopped dead in his tracks, and stared wide eyed at the lady in front of us. "Sascha...hey! I thought...um...I thought you had the day off today."

"I do. But I'm studying Economics in school. I left my books here and I have an exam on Monday." She said. "What are you doing?"

"What are we doing?" Tanner repeated. "What are we doing?" He asked me. Like I had a decent excuse!

"We were....um....going to go out and...swim?"

"YES!! SWIMMING! Me and Jack were going to go out and swim for a while!" He said swiftly. "Have you met Jack? This is my friend Jack...from school! He's from school."

"Ok. Well, it's nice to meet you, Jack." She said. Thankfully, she didn't seem too interested in why we were running around the house by ourselves that afternoon. She looked at us a bit suspiciously for a moment or two, but didn't appear to need any sordid details. I guess she was just grabbing her books and getting ready to leave again, and that made me feel a bit safer. But being caught off guard like that nearly scared the shit out of me! If she had come any earlier, we would have literally been caught with our pants down. "You boys be safe here while your mother and father are away, Mitchie, Understand?"

"Yes, Sascha. We promise." Tanner said. "Good luck on your test."

"Thank you." She took her bag and started to walk towards the door, before pausing briefly. "Be careful swimming, you two. I'm going to tell Gregor to call and check in on you from time to time. Just to make sure you're alright."

"Ok..." We both said, anxious for her to leave so we can go back to our seclusion. We waited there in the kitchen...waiting....waiting...waiting....then we heard the front door open and close again.

"Jesus...!" I let out a heavy breath as my body rlaxed again.

"Hahaha! Oh my god, I'm sorry. I didn't expect her to be here at all today."

"I was SO scared!"

"Me too! I was shaking! I thought maybe she heard us!" He giggled. And as we began to calm down a bit from being caught by surprise, our laughs died down a bit, and my eyes glazed over...Mitchie's cute little smile and pretty boy looks invading me again. He was such a heartthrob, especially when he was smiling. It just looked like it came straight from the heart. The emotion swept over me, and I walked up to take him in my arms again, kissing him softly on the lips. But it didn't last long. "C'mon...let's go out to the pool." he whispered with a timid grin, as 'little Tanner' began to rise and peek out from the opening in his robe. And I nodded, knowing that it was playtime again. I'd follow him anywhere.

We walked to the edge of the pool, removing the thick white robes and feeling the cool air on our skin. Seeing Mitchie's soft and supple body emerge from under that cloth was a feast for the eyes. His mild tan line giving his private area the beautiful highlight that it deserved. And as we stood by the pool's edge, he moved closer to me, leaning forward for a kiss. I closed my eyes, waiting to feel his tongue against mine again. But instead, he tricked me! As soon as my eyes were closed, I felt a push against my chest, and while I may have balanced on one foot for a second or two, my balance soon succumbed to gravity...and I fell backwards into the water! The initial splash was ICE cold! And the silence beneath the surface was soon interrupted by the sound of Tanner's laughter as I came back up for air!

"You bastard!" I giggled, wiping my eyes.

"Hehehe, sorry. You were begging for it." He said, and I looked at him standing above me naked. He was pointing straight out, hard as concrete, and he did a quick pose or two for me. As though he had any real muscles to flex. Hehehe! I swam to the edge and reached for his ankle, but he moved away from me. "Ohhhh no! None of that!" I tried again, and he tried to carefully rush his way to another side of the pool. I swam next to him, keeping up with him while we both laughed and taunted one another. Finally, he got a couple of steps ahead of me and did a cannonball right into the middle of the water. I lost sight of him for a few seconds...then he burst up through the surface shouting, "Damn that's cold! Oh God!"

I swam closer to him and draped my arms over his shoulders, hugging him from behind. I could feel his soft wet cheeks against me, and the water felt as though it was invading every part of me as we skinny dipped in the clear blue waves. I kissed his cheek, and he reached behind him to run the sides of my ass. He was able to spin around, and we kissed for an eternity. We were so close, and it felt like we were heating up the water around us as our love joined us in an infinite level of appreciation for one another. I still can't believe he's mine. This whole Cinderella fantasy seems so surreal to me. And I could tell he was as taken by my kiss as I was by his.

Which gave me the perfect opportunity to...dunk him under the water!

I pressed down on the top of his head and he sank like a stone. Hehehe, he popped back up and gave me the cutest surprised look! It was a happy expression of shock, mixed with the adorable pout of a five year old who's been tricked into eating his peas. "I can't believe you just did that!" He said, trying not to smile.

"Yeah, well I did!"

"I was kissing you, ya jerk! You took advantage of me. Hehehe!"

"Well....now we're even."

"I'll give you 'even'..." Mitchie grinned, and dived under the water towards me while I tried to swim away. He grabbed both of my legs, and I couldn't kick free. Then...I briefly felt his mouth engulf me underwater...all the way, for a quick suck or two...before he pulled my legs from under me and I was dragged down with him. It ended up being another 25 minutes before our frolcking splash-fest ended and we were too tired to goof around anymore. Hehehe, God...I'm so in love.

We made our way over to a part of the pool that was shallow enough for us to stand in. We embraced slowly, both a little bit out of breath...and our satisfied smiles connected in a long kiss as we wrapped ourselves up in each other's arms. The water was just up to our waist, maybe a bit lower. The top of Mitchie's ass was just above the waves, and the beginning of my bush could be seen, as we got as close as we possibly could while we were standing. Our tongue intertwined, sliding, writhing, licking feverishly. And I cupped my hands around his soft globes...kneading them tenderly, waiting for the moment when I could mash them up against my lap again.

Then, we heard the phone inside the house ringing. Mitchie leaned away from me for a moment. "Should you go get it?" I asked.

"No...it's probably just Gregor checking in on us. It's alright though. It'll stop ringing in a second or two." He assured me. And soon, the ringing stopped, allowing Mitchie to return to his smile. "See? Told ya. Now....where were we?"

"I believe we were preparing ourselves to live out a fantasy of yours." I grinned, crushing my body against his, holding his smooth buns next to me. "I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." We continued right where we left off, kissing as though oxygen was no longer needed. Minutes ticked by like seconds, and we didn't notice a single one of them. I was so hard. I wanted him. I wanted him now. I needed to wrap my lips around something a bit longer and harder than his playfully pink tongue. Wow...he feels so good in my arms. So good.

Just then...all of the sudden...Mitchie jumped! I thought at first that it was another game, but he literally jerked away from me instantly, our kiss broken with a quick smacking sound. When I opened my eyes, I saw a look of utter horror on Tanner's face, and spun around to see what was wrong. "Shit..." Mitchie said softly, as our eyes locked on to the problem.

Standing there...all alone...hands at his sides and a tears in his eyes...was Chris. I don't think I've ever seen anyone so hurt, so heartbroken, so utterly destroyed...than I did when I saw the look on that boy's face. Mitchie and I were standing there, obviously naked, kissing in the swimming pool. And we were both caught red handed. Without a single excuse to save us. He knew...and he was crushed.

"Chris...what....how...?" Mitchie began, as we both blushed furiously, ducking down in the water to hide our nudity.

"Um...Gregor...he knows me. He let me in. He said he was gonna.....call the house." Chris said as tears began to slide down his cheeks. I was speechless. He was falling apart right in front of me, and I couldn't even speak. "I....see you're busy, so.....I'll just....I'll...." He began to sniffle, and sob, and was about to burst when he quickly turned around and started to walk off. He hurried around the side of the house, and I felt as though I had swallowed a brick, and had it sitting in the center of my stomach.

"I'll...I'll be back, ok?" I said to Mitchie, and he nodded. I climbed out of the pool and grabbed a robe, putting on as quickly as I could, and then I ran after him. My bare feet were getting scratched up a bit on the pavement as I started walking on the driveway, but I didn't stop. Chris was almost out the gate now, and was getting ready to get back into his car. "Chris? Chris, wait!" But he just kept walking. In fact, I think he sped up. "CHRIS! Come on...wait up a second!" He got to his car, but I was able to reach him before he opened the door. "Chris...dude...I'm sorry. Ok. I'm just...I'm so so sorry!"

"You know...you could have just told me that you hated me, Jack. You didn't have to lie to me." He said, his eyes on the ground.

"I don't hate you, Chris." He rolled his eyes and looked away from me. "I mean it! Look...you're really sweet, and cute, and you make me laugh...and I WANTED to tell you, but..."

His tears got worse, and I think he was even more embarrassed to be crying in front of me. "Whatever. I've gotta go." I reached out to grab his shoulder, but he pulled away from me. "Please don't touch me. Ok? Just...don't." He sobbed.

"Chris...I never meant to hurt you like this. I swear to God. I really care about you a lot."

"You 'care about me', great. That's just what I needed." He opened the door to the car and got in the backseat while I talked to him through the open window. He looked to the driver and said, "We can leave now. There's no reason to stay here, so drive."

"Chris...please don't do this. I'm really sorry, ok?"

"Don't you have someone 'waiting' for you, Slug?" He said, with as much of a sneer as he could muster through his heartbreaking tears.

"I know what this looks like..."

"What it looks like?" He scoffed, wiping his eyes. "I'll tell you what it looks like. It looks like I wasted a decent amount of time and energy, giving my love to somebody who didn't want it." The driver's ears seemed to perk up, but I don't think Chris cared at this point. "Congratulations, Slug...you broke my heart. Bravo." He looked up at the driver in anger. "Can you mind your own fucking business please?!?! Drive!"

"Can we just talk for a minute?"

"We just did." Chris' anger took over, his pain a murderous accomplice in punishing me for my 'betrayal'. That's when he screamed at the driver at the top of his lungs, his voice cracking from the heartache overwhelming his very soul. "What are we paying you for? I said Drive! Now drive before I fire you!" It was a fury and a snotty arrogance that I hadn't seen in him in a long time. The car started up, and Chris immediately rolled up his tinted window on me. Just before it reached the top, I saw him lean over and lay down in the backseat, crying into his hands as the car took off from Mitchie's property. That was it. He knew everything now. And every dream he's had since the first night he dove on top of me and kissed me in the back of a limousine...was suddenly shattered like glass. And it was all my fault.

As I walked back to the gate, Gregor asked me, "Is everything alright, Jack?"

"Yeah." I said sadly. "I s'pose." And I slowly walked my way back inside. I never meant to hurt him. I never wanted him to find out about me and Mitchie like this. But he'd never believe that. And something tells me that I may have just lost one of the best friends I could have ever had.

Ever.


	20. Chapter 20

What did it feel like? Knowing how much I had hurt Chris...knowing that I had basically ripped his heart out and bashed it with a sledgehammer in front of an applauding studio audience? It felt like it was raining salt on every open wound that I've ever had. It felt like swallowing broken glass, but being forced to chew it first. It felt like...it felt like...

It felt like I had lost a really good friend.

How in the hell did I even get to this point? There was a time not long ago when I would have done anything to get Chris out of my life for good! I would have spent my last five dollars just to have someone run him down with a truck! How did I get to a place where I actually feel more hurt than he does about shattering his feelings? He made me do it, he made me hurt him. He wouldn't listen to me. Ugh! No matter what I do, that boy is always driving me crazy with an emotional torture of some sort. Either he's making fun of me and ridiculing me in front of all the kids at school, or he's so in love with me that he's stalking me everywhere that I go, or he's walking out on me and making me drown in a level of guilt that I've never experienced before in my life! I can't win!

And you wanna know what the worst part was? Realizing that I was the asshole in all this. Me. Because...because he was going out of his way to be kind, and sweet, and lovable.....and here I just turn around and....

Sighhh...I just suck. That's all.

I pouted and sulked the rest of the weekend. It had been a steady method of self punishment in my mind from the moment he caught me and Mitchie kissing in that swimming pool. Oh God...the look on his poor heartbroken face. If only I could get that look out of my head. It was as though he had been betrayed by Christ himself when he saw us. His eyes were so sad, so shocked, and yet both disgusted and aroused at the same time. I just...I just stood there and watched Chris' spirit leave him, only to be replaced with a dismal black void, unable to ever let any love escape it ever again. The damage I must have done! He was so hurt! I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know what to say. It's not like anything I did or said could ever be enough anyway. I didn't even know that pain like that could be so visible in someone's eyes. So it only felt right to somehow emotionally crucify myself as some sort of sacrifice for what I did to him. After all the smiles he's given me and the attention he's showered me with, I at least owe him a bit of misery on my part to say I'm sorry.

"Well, YOU'RE awfully talkative tonight." Angel said sarcastically. "If you keep up this racket, the neighbors might start to complain."

"Sorry. I'm just thinking."

"What's the matter?" Sure, like I could possibly hope to explain that fiasco in a 'round-a-bout' way!

"Nothing. You wouldn't wanna know, believe me."

Angel was standing there in just his boxers, and I noticed that the button in front was open. Not obscenely so, just a bit. I think I saw a shadow of something in there, but didn't wanna get caught staring. "It's not good to let it fester, you know? Let it out, don't be a punk. Come on, tell me."

"I'm sorry. I just...wanna go to sleep, ok?" I said, and rolled away from him.

"Suit yourself. But whatever you're bottling up over there...it's still gonna be there in the morning." Angel spread out his sheets on the floor, and shut off the light.

I kept seeing Chris' face when I closed my eyes. I kept trying to block it out, but those first few tears that fell from his eyes seemed to be coming from his very soul. I can't believe I was so stupid. I should have told him in the very beginning about me and Mitchie. I should have said something when he made me that bracelet, at least. How can I even wear this thing anymore knowing what I did? I took it off of my wrist and put it in my drawer next to the bed. I rolled over some more to get comfortable, and couldn't seem to find the right position to make that dull ache in my stomach go away. I tried it with the covers over me, with the covers off of me, on my side, on my back, on my stomach, with one pillow, two pillows, no pillows. But no matter which way I turned, the pained expression on Chris' tear stained face was right there to greet me, digging away at my heart until it was almost hard to breathe.

"For Christ sake, Jack! What is it?" Angel said out of frustration.

"What?"

"You're tossing and turning, blowing and sighing, and kicking around so much up there that even *I* can't sleep! What's the matter, already?"

I thought about it. I thought about a safe way to maybe let a bit of the pressure out through some subliminal hints and restricted conversation. But didn't even know where to begin. I grabbed a pillow and turned around to face the foot of my bed where Angel was sleeping on the floor with the covers off. I laid on my stomach and hugged the pillow up under my chin, hoping that I didn't say the wrong thing. "Angel...what if you...I mean...say you had a friend, right? A good friend. And they really liked you. A lot. But you're sorta with somebody else already, and....and you don't want to hurt this friend...but...they can't help but be hurt anyway...and..."

"Ok, you're making, like, ZERO sense right now. You know that right?" He said.

"Sigh...forget it."

"No, don't forget it. I want you to talk to me. But not if you're gonna be al 'cloak and dagger' about it. Just say what you have to say."

"It's not that easy, ok? Just...I can't." I could feel the restraint in the back of my throat. Wishing I could just come right out and tell him. Wishing that I didn't have to feel so stressed out about what I feel. But, as much as I loved Angel..he wouldn't be my safest choice in the first person I came out to. He just didn't seem like the kinda guy who would take the news well. "Look, I'm just happy with somebody, and this other person got hurt when..." I ALMOST said 'he', "...When 'they' found out."

"Is that what you're bitching about? That's your big problem? Two hot rich babes wanna scratch it out over who gets to be with you? Dude, why don't you just date one and fuck the other on the side?" Great. Heterosexual teen male logic. Sure. That's just what I needed.

"That's not an option, ok?" I said, now sorry that I even brought it up.

"Why not? They both get to see you naked, right? I should be so lucky."

"Forget I asked. Can we just go to sleep, please? I'll stop tossing. I promise." I said, and sulked my way back to the head of my bed again to try to force myself to sleep.

Angel waited for a moment or two, and then he got serious. "Alright, listen...this first chick, the one you're already with...you like her, right?"

I opened my eyes in the darkness to look at the ceiling again. "No...I love her." I said.

"And this friend of yours, she's good to you, but she's not the one you really want to be with, right?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then. That's your answer. Where's the problem?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're in love. And you're with the person that makes you happiest, so go for it. This 'friend' of yours will just have to understand that your heart belongs to somebody else. End of story."

"But, Angel...I might have really hurt somebody. They might not ever forgive me."

"Hurting somebody unintentionally doesn't make you a wicked person, Jack. It's not like you set out to do it on purpose. You've gotta go after what you really want. It would be downright cruel to both you AND this other girl if you didn't." Angel said. "As for being able to forgive you, either they will or they won't. You don't have any control over that. But if this other girl really cares about you, really loves you at all...then half of her happiness should be about seeing you happy. Even if it isn't with her. You know what I mean?"

"Um...yeah." I said, a bit surprised at Angel's answer. For a brief moment there, he almost sounded...sensitive. "Wow...thanks."

"Don't sound so surprised, geez."

"Hehehe, sorry, you just...caught me off guard, I guess. I appreciate it, Angel. Seriously, thank you."

He paused for a second, then said, "Don't get all 'gay' on me. It was just a comment."

"I'll take that as your way of saying 'you're welcome'."

"You can suck 'your welcome' out of my dick, butt sniffer!" He grinned.

"Can I really?" I teased, and he rolled over onto his stomach.

"Ugh! Go to SLEEP already! You're getting weird!" And that was all it took. A few more chuckles and he drifted off to sleep. I wasn't far behind him. Nothing had been solved, not by a long shot. And I was sure that Chris wasn't really gonna be all that easy to deal with, regardless of the possibility of him wanting to see me happy. But at least my mind had been released of some of that harsh pressure that had been building up since it all happened. It felt good to go to sleep with a smirk.

The next morning was a different story, though. It was as if the dread of seeing Chris' face again had reprogrammed itself into my mind before I even opened my eyes. I could feel it in my abdomen, that quiver of fear that suddenly realized that the 'hard part' of all this wasn't over yet. I was going to have to actually look him in the eye and take whatever punishment he had planned for me. I almost wanted to ditch the whole day just to postpone it until some more of his pain had melted away a bit. Sigh...this isn't going to be easy at all.

I rubbed my eyes, and secretly reached down to hide my morning hard on while peeking over my sheets to see if Angel was still sleeping. But he was already awake and probably somewhere else in the house. So I got up and got myself dressed, going to the bathroom to wash up and fix my hair. And later went to the kitchen, seeing Angel on the couch eating a giant tupperware bowl of cereal and milk, watching some morning cartoons. "Sup dude?" He said, and I shook my head at the size of his breakfast.

"Weirdo." I grinned.

"Hey, I'm a growing boy! What do you want from me?"

I walked into the kitchen, and Bobby was in him boxers, sitting at the table with a stressed look on his face. He was looking through the bills that came in mail yesterday, and as usual, the past due bills were getting more and more colorful as they became more serious. He already had out his calculator, trying to figure out how to put a little bit of money on the more serious ones while keeping the other hungry bill collectors at bay until he could come up with more money. It was like trying to avoid the lions by jumping into the 'shark tank'. I hate so much to see him struggle with this stuff. But I know that he hates to see me worrying about him even more, so I attempted to look as though I hadn't noticed.

"Morning, Bobby."

"Morning, honey. Get yourself some breakfast, and get your stuff ready, ok?"

I went to the cabinet, and picked up a box of cereal, but it was completely empty. "Hehehe, Bobby? Looks like Angel ate the last of the cereal."

"Oh...um...there should be a few mini boxes in the pantry closet."

I opened it up and found two small boxes that I could mix to make a whole bowl, "Thanks." And then I opened the fridge to find an empty carton of milk sitting on the top shelf. "Out of milk too." I grinned, hoping to get a smile out of him, but I think that it only succeeded in making him sweat even more.

"I'm sorry. I'll...I'll make you some toast, ok?" Then he reached in his work clothes and pulled some money out of the pocket. "Here, I've got...four extra dollars, and some change. You might even have a whole five if you count it out. Take this with you today and get yourself something extra for lunch." He said.

"I'm ok. You can keep it."

"Jack...please? Just take it, ok? Get some food in you so you can concentrate in school. I don't want you going through your school day hungry." He said, putting the cash in my hand. We heard Angel laughing in the living room at one of the cartoons, and Bobby looked back at me, lowering her voice. "Jack what is he doing here? Did Ma and him have a fight should I call her? Does she know he's here?"

Danger! Avoid question at all costs! "Uhhh...as far as I know. Sure. I mean...she...well she's been busy lately."

"Well, you make sure that she knows where he is at all times, ok? I don't want to worry her she's getting to old for that..."

"She won't." I said, cutting her off. "Angel's fine. He's great."

"Ok." He said, and went back to focusing on the bills. He picked up a crimson red late notice, and carried it over to the toaster where he tried to scrounge up some breakfast from the leftover scraps that Angel hadn't inhaled already. I don't think there was anything in his budget to fully cover one hungry teenage boy in the same house, much less two. Still, he paced, and he mumbled, and he whispered little curses at himself that he thought I couldn't hear...and he tried to make it work. No matter what..he always tried to make it work. I hope I have that kind of strength someday.

Soon, it was time for me to go to school. Bobby ushered me out, and had just enough time to maybe take a short nap before having to go back to work himself. The bags under his eyes were worse than I had ever seen them, and he walked funny, as though his ankles were made of cracked glass. He took long extended blinks, as though it hurt her to stay awake, and his fingers looked so messed up holding that luke warm cup of coffee in his hands...his third one of the morning. I swear, I'm gonna take him out of all of this misery someday. I'm gonna get him a nice house, and a beautiful front and back yard, and he's gonna be able to rest and relax all day long. I'm gonna buy him everything he ever wanted, and send him places that he always wanted to go, and...I'm gonna pay him back for every lost moment he sacrificed to give me everything. I think it's only fair, you know?

One day, Bobby....just hang in there, k?

I got my shoes on while sitting on the couch, and again Angel scoffed at the look of the new shoes that Chris had given me. Just shaking his head with a sarcastic grin. Geez...the shoes....Chris had given me the shoes. Should I even wear them today? Should I wear them ever again? It might be seen as a slap in the face to him to be wearing his gift to me. Actually, should I even be wearing his friendship bracelet? I don't know. If I don't...he might think I actually hate him. He might take it, like...like...like I don't wanna have anything to do with him anymore. Like I just stripped myself of everything 'Chris' related and threw it in the trash. That would hurt him even more? Right? Argh! What the fuck, man? This really fucking sucks!

I decided to wear the shoes, and the bracelet. Hoping to maybe remind Chris of how much he cared for me, and maybe I could use that as a bargaining chip or something. Ah screw it, I don't know what my big strategy was at the moment. All I knew was that I had to go to school, and I couldn't go barefoot. So there we have it. Problem solved.

I said goodbye to Bobby and walked out of the front door, leaving him to get some sleep before he had to get up again and go back to work. We walked out to the end of the sidewalk, and it was time for Angel to go off and occupy himself with whatever it is he does to kill time until I come home from school again. Except, this time, it wasn't just a pat on the shoulder, followed by his usual 'see ya later' send off. This time, he stopped for a moment, and looked down at my shoes again. I almost expected another insult to be shot my way any second. But instead...Angel looked back into my eyes. Almost apologetically. And he said, "You know...I really do appreciate what you're doing for me, Jack."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know...letting me crash and all. You're a real friend." He said softly. "And I'm gonna make sure that I hit you back for all the help you gave me. You and Bobby. I promise."

"Angel, you don't have to do any of th..."

"No, I mean it. I'm not gonna forget this, ok? It means a lot. You'd be surprised how many 'friends' from our old neighborhood turned their backs on me when I needed it." He said, and with a bit of a sheepish sigh, he smirked at me. "You know...that day when you didn't come home from school, and I was out on your front porch in the rain...I thought maybe you had turned your back on me too. And that hurt so much that I couldn't even move, you know? I don't think I could have taken it if you had been one of 'them'. But then...when I told you the truth...you took me in. You took me in and you never once asked me for anything in return. And that's the kind of pal that I've been missing since the day you moved away." And much to my surprise, Angel leaned forward and gave me a HUG. It was your typical heterosexual, 'not too much touching', type of hug...but an affectionate one nonetheless. Then he straightened up, and looked around as though he felt silly for even doing it. "So...yeah..thanks, ok?"

"Um...sure..." I said, dumbfounded.

He paused for a second or two, and then his natural smile returned to his face. He suddenly reached up his fist with a jerk and I jumped back a touch in response. "Two for flinching, pussy!" He punched me twice in the arm, and I winced from the strike. Then he used his hand to rub it a bit with a grin. "So, I'm going over to Nikki's house today to see if she'll be willing to let me chill in her basement for a while. I highly doubt she'll be wasting a sunny day like this at school. So I've got a shot." I shook my head, I have no idea who Nikki is but leave it to Angel.

"Well, I'll be home around 4:30, so...I'll see you then. Cool?"

"You bet." Then he saw me rubbing my shoulder still, and said, "Don't be a punk! Geez! Later." And he walked off to go find himself someone to be with while I was gone. I was never quite sure what to feel concerning this whole thing with him and mom, but I hope it gets settled soon. Even if things aren't going so great for him right now, anything is preferable to him wandering the streets like a homeless teen all day long. I just wish I knew how to help him more than I was. I was hardly a 'solution' to anything he was going through. But it felt good to know that it kept the misery at bay for a while.

When the bus came, the jitters started again, and they got worse with ever rotation of the vehicle's tires closer towards that school. I suffered for a great deal of the trip in silence in the back, but was hoping to get some pleasant relief when I got to Mitchie's stop. But...while his very presence was a soothing and inspiring sensation, it didn't do much to calm the turbulent feelings inside. What made it worse, is that I think he could feel it too. He immediately looked for me, and then made his way back to where I was sitting.

"Hey..." He said, somewhat nervously. "You ok?"

"I think so. I just..." I trailed off, not even knowing how to end that sentence. And Mitchie reached over to gently grab a hold of my hand. "I just don't wanna face him today, you know?"

"I know. Trust me, I know." He said. There was a short silence between us, and then Mitchie asked, "Do you think he told?"

"What?"

"Chris...do you think he told anybody? I mean, about what happened?" Oh shit! You know, with all of this other stuff swirling around in my head at the speed of light, I hadn't even thought of the menace Chris could become if he decided to out us at school! I'd like to think that he wouldn't do that, but after him having his heart broken this badly, there's no telling what he would do! God, when I woke up this morning I was merely worried. Now I'm so terrified to step foot in the building that I thought I was gonna be sick!

"He...he wouldn't do that to us. At least, I don't think so." I said, and Mitchie, while trying to appear normal, didn't look at all convinced.

"Oh....ok."

I squeezed his hand a bit tighter. "It's ok. I'll find a way to straighten this out. I just have to find an opportunity to talk to him. That's all. It won't be so bad."

"Yeah, I suppose." He answered. "Jack...just be careful, ok? Chris can be a real bastard when he wants to be."

"I'll fix it. I don't know how...but I'll fix it." I paused for a moment, and told him, "You know, out of all the bad things I've ever done in my life...I don't think I've ever hurt somebody this badly before. It's a really nauseating feeling, you know?"

It was then, that Mitchie tried to work up a smile for me. It wasn't genuine, I could tell. It didn't shine with the usual glory of his cheerful disposition. But he put forth the effort to fake a sincere grin just for me...and that was just as special as the real thing. Even if it wasn't as pretty. "I know." He said. Then he leaned over and whispered, "I love you." And then turned to look out the window. It reminded me of the first day I had ever laid eyes on him. Looking out of that bus window, the shadows sliding across his beautiful face, that look of silent desperation as he wrestled with the concerns and conflicts of his life and his place in it. I still felt him holding my hand, and it was...at that moment...the only real comfort that I had left in this world. Yet, somehow...it was more than enough.

When the busses stopped, and all of the kids poured out of their open doors, Mitchie and I gave each other a look to wish one another good luck for the day that was sure to follow. It was the kind of look paratroopers give each other right before jumping out of the plane, soaring downwards into a battlefield full of gunfire and explosions. The kind of war only high school could bring when you knew your enemies were close.

I made sure to make a swift and unassuming eye contact with everyone in the hall as I walked to my first class. Wondering if they had been informed of everything that went down this weekend at Tanner's estate. Just one whispered word could mean the end of everything that I was. Every achievement, every academic advance, every teeny tiny crumb of pride that I was able to build among the vicious sharks that dwell in this place...it would all be suddenly overshadowed by the shame and horror of who I really was. Being gay and outted against your will...it causes your whole world to crumble. And suddenly nobody knows how to see you as anything else. How could I live with that? How?

Luckily, no one made any snide remarks. There were no secretive giggles, no pointed fingers, and no unexplained stares from the rest of my classmates. So I guess I'm safe for now. But before I was able to breathe a sigh of relief, I caught a glimpse of Chris walking down the hall in my direction. I held my breath, and almost felt like running in the opposite direction. Almost felt like freezing in my tracks as well. But, as if my brain was locked into permanent 'cruise control', I kept walking at a normal pace and just prayed for the best. I don't know whether to expect a heartless bully, a lovestruck angel, or broken hearted EX-friend. But whatever reaction I was destined to have...the moment was here.

Chris was walking alone, which was unusual before he decided to fall in love with me. Before, he always had a storm cloud full of friends and admirers nipping at his heels and trying to get in his good graces. Not today. Instead, he kept to himself. His head down. His eyes focused on the floor beneath his feet, as though it would disappear if he lost his concentration on it. And then, before we crossed paths, he looked up and saw me. I didn't know what to do. That pain was still there. The suffering was glistening in those bright eyes, and his once sweet lips were emotionless. It looked like he'd never smile again. And he seemed almost disgusted to even have me cross his vision.

I started to speak as he approached, hoping to break the ice and maybe open up some kind of discussion about it. "Chris....listen...."

But he just bumped my shoulder hard enough to knock me up against the lockers. And he sneered at me as he kept walking. "Why don't you crawl back into the slime, you fucking gutter rat! I've got better things to do than talk to you." And he didn't even look back. He just stomped forward as though I didn't even exist. An even meaner version of what he was before. I mean, Chris was always an asshole to me in the beginning, but there was something more potent in his fury this time around. This time, that hatred was mixed with pain, and I realized that this whole thing was going to be anywhere near as 'fixable' as I thought it would be.

I think I twiddled my thumbs through most of my classes that day. Not knowing what I was ultimately in for, not even feeling like myself. He'll talk to me again, right? I mean...he has to. He's in love, right? It hurts, I'm sure. But if he's in love, then he'll have to talk to me again eventually, right? It's just like Angelsaid...if he really loves me, he should want me to be happy. So......if I wait out the whole torturous heartbreak issue, then he'll come around in time, and we can work on being friends again. At least...I hope we can. Maybe it'll be even better this time, now that he knows. Maybe...argh, who am I fooling? He's gonna hate me for as long as he possibly can, and then maybe a few years more. He's not gonna just forgive and forget. Not this time.

My first period class went by without a hitch. Much to my surprise, believe me. Then my second period flew by as normal. Then third period. So far, so good. I was almost getting to the point where I thought I was gonna be lucky enough to just have Chris pout it out all on his own for a while without taking any immediate action against us. I was almost reaching the point where those frightening jitters had quieted down into a series of small tremors in the center of my belly.

Then...came gym class.

I had gotten it in my mind, somehow, that having Chris in an actual class with me would force him to at least talk to me. If for no other reason than to yell heart wrenching curses at me to express how hurt he was over what I did. But walking into that locker room and seeing Chris already dressed in his gym uniform, I should have known that something was wrong. Chris always waited for me to get dressed with him before. But, the room was full of other students at the moment, and I was stuck without a way to really say much of anything with him. So I went in and hid my eyes from him for a few moments, trying to avoid any major conflicts in front of these other boys. I didn't even go to my locker yet, as it was so close to Chris'. I can wait. I figure, once we get outside, I could maybe pull him to the side or something and tell him how sorry I was for everything that happened. He'd listen to me. He's gonna hate me for a while, but he's GOTTA know that I didn't try to hurt him on purpose! He's GOT to! But Chris just leaned against his lockers and folded his arms across his chest. I peeked up at him from the corner, and he was staring right at me, with a slightly crooked smile on his face. And in that moment, it was like the sweet and lovable brat that I had been dealing with for the past few weeks didn't even exist anymore. What was left...scared me a bit.

"Alright 'ladies', quit fixing your make up and get out there on the field! We've got games to play!" The coach said, making a special cameo appearance in the boy's locker room to get everybody moving. Then he singled me out for a moment. "Jack...front and center, son."

He beckoned me closer, and I walked over to hear what the coach had to say. "Yeah?"

"According to my records here, you're sitting out today."

"Wait....huh? Sitting out? Why?" I asked.

"It's right here on my attendance sheet. Special note." He looked at his clipboard, and I peered over the side. "It says here that you are to report to room 207 for detention. So here's your pass. Scoot on over there."

"What? Detention? Detention for what?" What the hell was going on here?

"I don't know, but you must have ticked somebody off, because this memo is very specific. I'm not to let you participate in any of the activities today."

"But I don't understand! I didn't do anything to get landed in detention!"

"Hey...I don't make the rules. I just read the clipboard and do what it says."

"But there's gotta be some kind of mistake!" I protested.

He simply handed me the hall pass, and said, "Then I suggest you take it up with your detention hall monitor. Not with me." Then he turned to the other boys and said, "Alright you guys, let's move it! We ain't got all day!"

I looked at my pass, and sure enough, my name was on it. Telling me to report to the detention center for 'disorderly conduct'. Since when did any teacher ever accuse me of disorderly conduct? Then, I noticed that the note had been printed out instead of handwritten. And while it had an official stamp on it, no teacher's name was given. The whole thing looked legit. Maybe a bit too legit, if you ask me. I looked up from the note to see a wicked smile on Chris' face as he turned to close his locker. And then it clicked...Alex! It had to be! Chris got Alex to break into my records with his computer and alter my schedule for the day. That son of a bitch!

I gave Chris a dirty look, knowing damn well what he was up to. And walked over to confront him directly on trying to do me in. "Just what do you think you're doing?" I asked him, looking him directly in the eye.

"I don't know what you're talking about, 'slug'. I'm just getting ready for class."

I looked deeper, and for a quick second, I could almost see a weakness in his stare. It was brief, but it was there. I caught only a glimpse of it before he cut me off and shut his emotions down completely. So after a short pause, I softly asked him, "Why are you doing this, Chris?"

He turned away from me to lock his locker back. Mumbling, "Nice shoes. Much better than the ones you had." I didn't even know if I could really speak to him, and I don't think he knew if he could really look at me. But as I stood there behind him, I was almost begging for him to try to understand me.

"Chris? Please....can't we just talk about this?" I whispered.

He cringed and shrugged away from me. "What the fuck are you doing? Don't whisper in my ear, faggot!" He grinned, and it got the appropriate giggles from the other boys around us. "Can you believe this loser? Get a clue, ya fuckin' beggar!"

After all of the offensive things that Chris had ever said to me, you would think that I'd be used to them. And at one point, I was. Somehow, our mutual hatred for one another made it easy to deflect his every resentful insult and let it roll off of my back like it was nothing. But this time...the words seemed to penetrate deeper than ever before. They stabbed at my heart and I felt my soul bleeding out through every wound he tore open in me. It hurt. It seriously hurt. "Why are you doing this?" I sniffled quietly.

He stopped for a second, and then sneered, "Shouldn't you be on your way to detention?"

What could I say? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So I turned to open my locker and just grab some stuff to take with me to the detention hall. No use fighting it now. I'm sure Chris was careful to cover his tracks. And Alex was a pro at hiding his tiny manipulations from the rest of the school. Trying to expose their little scam would be as crazy as trying to convince the coach that a ghost lived in the school boiler room. I'll just have to think of a better way to protect myself later. I backed away from Chris, and then turned to at least grab myself something to do while I waited to be 'released', and it was then that I noticed my locker was wide open. I walked closer to it, and looked inside. I didn't have much stuff in there to begin with, but what little I had was gone. Even my cassette walkman. "What the hell happened to my locker?" I asked our teacher.

Again, he looked down at that magic clipboard of his and told me, "Hmmm, it says on here that the locker was declared an unregistered space."

"So what does that mean?"

"It means that any student putting their personal belongings in there and trying to use it for their own purposes, is gonna get their lock clipped."

"Clipped?" I shouted.

"Clipped. Wake up, kid. You gotta use the locker that was assigned to you. You can't just pick one at random and claim it as your own."

"That was the locker that was assigned to me!"

"First of all...lower your voice when you talk to me." The coach was quick to put me in my place, and again told me, "Second of all...if you have a problem or think that an error has been made concerning your locker space, you can take it up with the main office before or after school and make a formal complaint. In the meantime, you're outta luck...understood?"

"You cut my lock off! My stuff is all gone? How am I gonna buy another combination lock?"

"That's really not my problem, son. And to be honest, you should be more concerned about how long you're gonna spend in detention. Because according to the note that I got...you are going to have to make yourself comfortable in there for a long long time."

The coach motioned for me to leave, and I heard more snickers from my classmates around me. I took one last look at Chris, who smirked at me with a slight hint of satisfaction. And just as I felt myself almost tear up from the extent of his betrayal, I pulled my backpack up on my shoulder, and turned to leave. The snickers turned to laughs, and a few of the other boys even applauded as I left the locker room. I suppose they got a kick out of having me disgraced in front of everyone else. Even more than that, I think they were happy to have Chris on their side again. The side that always seemed to get a great deal of joy out of seeing my downfall. I guess it's their way of putting me back down at the bottom of the barrel where I belonged. And with Chris as a leader...they were really, really, good at it.

I walked away from the gym and had to hold in all of my frustration and anger over the whole situation so as not to break down in the hall. What the hell is his problem anyway? If Chris wants some kind of war, I'll give him one. If he thinks I'm just gonna sit back and let him screw with me this way, he's got another thing coming. I'll....well....that is...I'll....I'll find something to hurt him with! I will! If he thinks he's in pain now, just wait until I get through...doing whatever it is I'm going to do to get back at one of the most popular, most beautiful, most blindly followed, rich kid in the whole damn school. Yeah...I'm sure I have a great plan to pull that mini miracle off. Psh! But fuck it! I can't just let him walk all over me. I never did before, and I'm sure as hell not gonna start now. Just because he's hurt. Just because he was too damn blind to see what was really going on. Just because he decided to let himself get all goofy and stupid and...and....

...Fall in love with me.

Yeah....he did. He fell in love with me. Sigh....he gave me his heart, and I let him down. I destroyed his love for me completely. And I just wish I knew how to feel about that.

I got to room 207, sulking silently as I opened the door. There was a small group of high school trouble makers, a couple of kids who just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and....Mitchie?

His soft gray eyes caught mine the second I entered the room, and I knew that he must have had a similar run in with Chris' computer hacking bully. His sad puppy dog eyes brightened up slightly when he saw me walk in. I don't think Mitchie has ever spent a single day in detention in his life. You could see it in the look on his face, his already pouty lips adorably puckered out as he sat in the middle of the room all alone. I gave the detention hall monitor my pass, and took the seat next to my sweetheart. It looks as if we're both on the 'target' list for the time being.

"Let me guess...Alex, right?" He said.

"Who else?" I pouted. "He's really mad at me. He even had my combination lock clipped in the gym locker room. And I didn't check yet, but he probably had my hall locker clipped too. I don't know what to do, he won't even talk to me. He barely even looked me in the eye."

Mitchie was silent for a second, and then he said, "I'd offer to talk to him, but I think I'm even higher on his shitlist than you are. But maybe I can..."

"Boys? No talking. This is detention, not recess. Get out your books and study." The monitor told us.

Then Mitchie whispered, "I know Chris is hurt right now, but maybe he'll be more willing to talk about right after..."

"BOYS! Enough! Once more, and I'm spliting you up." Dammit! We have important stuff to discuss here! Why the fuck is this monitor bitch being such a Nazi about it? We sighed and got out some notebooks to put on our desk to make it look like we were studying something constructive. We waited for her to calm the fuck down and get back to reading her book and taking bites out of a huge red apple at her desk. And then, Mitchie scribbled out a short note on a sheet of paper, and tried to secretly hand it to me so we could finish our conversation. And that's when the monitor caught us. "Bring that up here." She said.

Mitchie froze. So did I. I don't know what was in that note, but if it had anything to do with this situation or what happened between us on Saturday...we certainly didn't need her to know about it. "What?" Mitchie stumbled, trying to stall for a few seconds more.

The class turned around and stared at us. And the monitor got up out of her seat. "That note. You know what I'm talking about. Let me see what was so important that it couldn't wait until later." Mitchie hesitated, and the monitor began to walk towards us to grab it. Mitchie and I both panicked, and that's when he suddenly ripped the note in half and handed me half of it. What the hell did he give it to me for? Then, in a flash, he crumpled up his half and shoved the whole thing in his mouth! Helpless for a better idea, I crumpled my half up and did the same. The paper tasted bitter and chalky, ut I wet it up with as much saliva as I possibly could, and chewed it into a tight ball until it was too illegible for her to read. The monitor put her hands on her hips and stared at us in disbelief. Then she grabbed the small trash can by her desk and brought it over to us. "Spit that out of your mouth." She told me, and held the trash can up for me to do so. With a frown, and the awful taste of paper in my mouth, I spit the big wet glob of notebook paper into the trash. Then she held it over to Mitchie for him to do the same. Thankfully, she didn't even bother to touch the slimy spitballs any further, but once we had our mouths free, she scolded us. "You...sit over there. And you...you sit on the other side of the room. I'm splitting you up. And you boys just bought yourselves another day of detention."

"But we didn't..."

"You wanna make it two more days detention?" She asked me. "Keep it up. I'm here all week." I kept my mouth shut, and just picked up my stuff to move. I can't even believe that I'm in here right now! I swear, when I get out of here, I'm gonna give Chris a piece of my mind.

I swear, it was the longest period in school history, waiting for that vicious amazon bitch to let us out of that place. But finally, our 'sentence' was up, and she let us all go to our next class. I met up with Mitchie outside of the detention hall, and he said, "I'm sorry if I got you into more trouble. I didn't mean to."

"It's alright. I didn't want her to read that note either, believe me. Whatever it was."

"So what's our plan now?"

"I dunno.." I told him. "But I'm gonna go check my hall locker to see if any of my stuff is still there. I'm gonna have to go by the office to get my personal belongings back. If the other guys didn't yank them out of the locker and throw them in the trash first. If I were you, I'd check yours too." Mitchie nodded, and I almost leaned in to hug him just out of habit. Sometimes, when you really love somebody, you forget about the possibility of 'spectators' being in the vicinity. I had to be careful of that.

Mitchie and I didn't have much else to say. We were pretty much at Chris' mercy for as long as he wanted us to stay there. What else was there to do but wait it out? "I'm going to class. Hopefully, they won't send me right back to detention." Mitchie said, and he softly brushed his hair out of his eyes, giving me a small wave as he turned to walk in the other direction. Hurting me is one thing...but hurting my boyfriend is going to get Chris' spine ripped out, if he keeps it up. Grrr! Let me go see if my stuff is still where it's supposed to be. Damn, I hope they didn't take my calculator. I can't buy another calculator. And my TEXTBOOKS! Shit...there's no WAY Bobby's gonna be able to pay for my textbooks if my locker is empty. Jesus.

However, when I finally turned the corner to get to my locker, I saw Chris leaning against it, the same smug grin on his face. I stopped in my tracks at first, watching the hall thin out as the late bell was getting ready to ring, but then moved forward again. I'm not gonna just stand by and let him bully me! Fuck Chris if he's hurt, this is just wrong! I stormed over and looked at my locker, and saw the lock gone. Dammit!!! But then, Chris reached in his pocket and tossed it to me...uncut. "Your locker combinations are in the school computer too. But don't worry...I didn't have your street locker clipped....YET."

I quickly walked up and stared him down, face to face. "You know what? None of this is going to change what happened. So why don't you knock it off and talk to me like a normal person?"

"A 'normal person'? Is that what I am now?" He said, never losing his smile.

"Why did you get Alex to put me in detention? Why are you fucking with my records?"

"Because I can. That's why. The same reason you decided to play with my emotions. You hacked your way into my heart and screwed everything up...now it's my turn." He replied.

"Then why are you fucking with Mitchie?"

"On the contrary, Slug...you're fucking with Tanner. And I haven't decided yet just who needs to know about that. I'll have to mull it over." He said with a smirk. "But until I've made a decision about that, I'd like to have a little bit of fun first. Besides...you and Mitchie seemed soooo cozy before...I figured you two might wanna spend some more quality time together. You know...without my interference?"

Instead of letting the anger boil over, I tried to appeal to him, tried to find a trace of that adorable guy that used to buy me milkshakes and pay me compliments off of the top of his head without thinking. "Chris...please? I know you're hurt. I know. And I'm SORRY, ok? You have no idea how sorry I am that I ever hurt you. But please don't do this. Ok? Please?" I asked, but he just rolled his eyes off to the side to keep from looking at me. "Chris....come on. You were so sweet to me before. And I loved everything that you did for me. You made me feel...really special. And it's not that I don't care for you, I just...I'm 'happy'...you know? I'm happy with Mitchie. And I didn't want to hurt your feelings." I think that triggered something inside of Chris. Something ferocious. And he fought to keep it down.

"You want pity? Is that it? Am I supposed to feel sorry for you, Slug? Like a puppy with a broken leg, right?" He said through gnashed teeth.

"You're not the only one hurting here, you know? I didn't mean to break your heart. I'm hurt that it had to happen like this..."

"Awwwwww....poor baby." He said, pretending to stick his bottom lip out and cry for me. "Waaaah! Jack feels bad about completely ripping my heart out of my chest and stomping on it with cleats for his own amusement. I really feel for you, dude. I do." He said. "But...while I'm doing my best to hold back my tears for your inconvenience, let me paint a nice little picture for you. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that you feel every last inch of the pain that I'm going through right now, for as long as I feel it. I'm not gonna just let you run around and get your jollies while I sit and suffer like some kind of fucking punk! You are going to take whatever punishment I decide to give you, and you're gonna grin and bear it until I feel better. And I should warn you...that's gonna take a long time."

"Chris, I know that you think you hate me right now...."

"Hate you???" He snarled, getting in my face. "No, Jack...I don't hate you. I haven't even begun to hate you yet, believe me! Because right now this still hurts. Just looking at you...still hurts! You don't know how hard it is for me to even breathe right now, being this close to you. Looking into a pair of eyes that used to mean everything to me." He said. His whole face had changed, a combination of pain and anger fighting to be the dominant emotion. "I would rather have my fucking heart stop beating, than to have to live with this excruciating ache anymore! I can't even sleep anymore! And it's all your fault! So yes...don't worry about me 'hating' you, Jack. You'll know when I reach the point of 'hating' you...I'll make sure of that!"

"You're not listening to me! I said I was sorry! I never meant to hurt you!" Chris actually began to tear up a bit, but the scowl never left his face. If I could just find a way to reach that sweet humane side of his personality, I might be able to find a way out of this. But he barricaded himself from me completely. With all the energy he had. "Chris, we're friends. good friends. Don't do this..."

"We're not friends. We never were. You lied to me from day one, and you played me for a fool. Ok, fine. I understand. I treated you like shit, and you wanted some payback. Good strategy."

"It wasn't like that! You know it wasn't!"

"Oh fuck you, Jack! You know what? The only thing keeping your little secret in the closet where it belongs...is me. You tell anyone about the schedule changes or the computer fixes...I'll tell everybody who will listen. You come near me again...I'll tell. You do anything to provoke me whatsoever...and I see your closet door swinging wide open, fairy boy!" And then added, "And that goes for your little boyfriend too. So I suggest you keep your mouth shut."

"You wouldn't do that. You can't."

"You don't think so? Try me."

"What about you, huh? You're not exactly squeaky clean yourself in all of this." I reminded him.

"It doesn't matter. I can get a girlfriend by the end of the week if I wanted one. Can you say the same thing?" He grinned. "If you wanna play a friendly game of who can ruin who's reputation first, I'll be glad to go first. But something tells me that you don't have much of a reputational 'shield' in this place. Do you....'Jack the Destitute'?" He said, and then he reached a hand up to brush the hair out of my eyes. "I hate that." He said. And then began to walk away from me...leaving me there, helpless to do much to pull him into the same emotional corner I was in. Then he turned to say, "Oh yeah...I haven't decided whether or not I wanted to lift your detention hall ban just yet. It could be tomorrow...it could be next week. I'm not uite sure yet, we'll see how I feel. Oh...and one more thing..." He walked back to me, and grabbed my hand. He ripped open the bracelet he had given me and took it off of my wrist. "...I'd rather see this in the fucking trash than on your wrist. See ya later, Slug." He said, and without turning around, he told me, "Oh, and take my shoes off. If I catch you wearing them to school tomorrow, I'll tell Alex to give you an 'F' in English. And that's certainly not gonna look good on your transcripts, cutie pie."

I just stood there. Lost. Unsure of what was going to happen or how far Chris was willing to take this. He did have one thing right, though. If it came to his reputation and mine, the kids would jump on his side in an instant. Shit...Chris had me at checkmate. And from what he said, it sounds like he's only getting started. What was once a minor annoyance was now an enemy capable of ruining my entire life with just one whispered comment in a room full of high school kids. Any attempts to out him in return would be seen as a ridiculous act of desperation at best. What was I gonna do?

As I leaned back against the lockers in that empty hallway...I thought about the smiles, and the compliments, and the kiss that Chris gave me in the backseat of that limousine that one rainy night...and I saw it all fade away. Dissolving into thin air as if it never happened. And I was struck with the frightening realization that this boy had my life in his hands. And he could do with it as he pleased. God help me. Please....help me.


	21. Chapter 21

I could hardly sleep that night. With the amount of tossing and turning that I did on the bed, I'm surprised that Angel was able to sleep either. Then again, after traveling around town on foot all day, he was knocked out from the second he laid out on my bedroom floor clear through to the next morning. I was somewhat thankful for that. I don't think I would have been able to fake a sensible conversation when this Chris situation was weighing so heavily on my mind.

He really just....despised me. All of that flirting and those sweet mushy moments of weakness, that unrestricted desire and that nobility...gone. Literally, in the blink of an eye. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd miss anything about Chris. I always figured I'd dance the tango on the rooftop the day he said he didn't want to have anything else to do with me. But...the strange thing is...I honestly 'feel' his absence. It's like a huge part of me was suddenly snatched away, and it left this big gaping hole in the center of me. It's the kind of thing that made me wonder if I was more than just slightly flattered by all the attention he had been giving me. If those glances in the locker room and playful smiles weren't just a cute way of sparing his feelings. Shit...I don't know what I felt, I just...I hate the fact that he's so pissed at me. More than that, I hate the fact that I'm so helpless to do anything about it. He could really hurt me. He could really hurt Mitchie. What are we gonna do? What can we do?

Thoughts like these....so very hard to sleep with thoughts like these.

The next morning came way too soon for my tastes. My alarm clock might as well have been a screaming banshee in my ear after so few hours of sleep. There was no rolling over and ignoring it. Besides, Angel was liable to smash my alarm clock to pieces if it went on for too much longer. I hit the button and tried to force myself out of bed. My body felt weak, my eyes were burning, and all I wanted to do was let the warm sheets of this bed carry me back into dreamland for another ten minutes. Just ten minutes. God...it would feel so good. But before long, Bobby came knocking at my bedroom door. "Jack? You awake in there?"

"Yeah....I'm up." I yawned.

"Well get yourself ready so you can have some breakfast before you leave." he said, and left to go back to the kitchen.

I heard Angel stretch out on the floor, his muscles and joints popping quietly as he returned to the land of the living. "Dude...I've got the 'hardest' morning wood, right now." He said sleepily.

"Gee, don't get too 'personal' or anything." I swung my legs around to put my feet on the floor, and scratched my head. Even sitting up, the pillow was still calling out for me to lay back down. What a choice to make. Get more comfy sleep...or prepare myself for another full day of social battering and unwarranted detention. Ah, just let me get up and get it over with. I stood up and grabbed some underwear so I could take a shower. I looked down for a second, and...Jesus! Angel really wasn't kidding! He was sticking straight up under that blanket, and that thing looked like it was ready to go off any second. "Dude! Do something with that, will ya?" I said, shielding my eyes.

"I will just as soon as you stop watching me, pervert!" He giggled.

I swatted him gently with my t-shirt as I headed out of the room. "Don't touch anything in here but 'you', got it? Not until your wash your hands."

"Screw that, I'm busting a nut all over your pillow case so you can mash your pretty little face in it when you sleep."

"Ugh! Nasty!" I left the room and got into the shower to clean up. Not that being clean and nicely dressed was going to make much of a difference. I'd still be a target for 'something', I'm sure of it. Chris had protected me a bit from some of their teasing, but I'm sure that word is going to get around fast that he's back to his old self again. And with him out of the way, the other kids were sure to rip into me with everything they've been building up at every given opportunity from now on. This is just not gonna be a good day.

When I came back in the room, I was super careful to open the door. Just in case Angel was still in the act of relieving himself. Luckily, he was already up and getting dressed. "Don't worry, I'm done. Don't be a spaz." He grinned. I couldn't help but look around my room as I walked back inside. For a wad of kleenex, or a t-shirt, or a rag...just something that would let me erase the notion that he would actually let loose on my pillow case. "So what's for breakfast? I'm starved."

"Um...I dunno. Smells like hashbrowns, maybe some eggs." I said, still searching and watching my step.

"Aw dude, that sounds awesome, I could eat just about anything." He looked up and saw me scanning the room before I sat down on my bed. I gave my pillow a long hard look, afraid to turn it over. "Dude, what are you doing?"

"Where did you do it?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"You know what. Where'd ya do it?"

"I told you, it's on your pillow, sweetheart." He chuckled at me, and I looked at my pillow with a frown on my face. That's when he chuckled out loud. "I'm just KIDDING, Jack! Geez, how sick do you think I am? I used a sock." Thankfully, I saw a sock on the bedroom floor. "She's got the softest, tightest, cotton mouth in town!"

"I knew I shouldn't have asked."

"Ooh, but it's kinda hot that you did, baby." Angel said, adopting a slightly effeminate posture.

"Mmmm, it would have been hotter if you had let me watch, big boy." I couldn't help but laugh when i saw his jaw drop.

"Dude! You are totally crossing the line now, man!" he said and pushed passed me to get to my closet and get dressed.

We both managed to get to the kitchen table shortly after and scarf down some microwaved waffles and scrambled eggs. Bobby had a way of whipping up a full meal out of almost anything if we had enough in the fridge. How he can do that so flawlessly every single day is amazing to me. Especially with an extra 'guest' draining our food supply even faster than normal. Sometimes, I wonder if he's reaching the point of calling mom and asking why Angel is still waking up with us every morning. He doesn't exactly live 'close' to this place. I saw him give us a look this morning, and while it was subtle, I could instantly tell that he knew somehing wasn't quite right with this picture. Luckily for us, he also seemed preoccupied with the towing bill for the car that we left on the side of the road. It kept his mind busy enough to not pursue any questions about Angel right away, but another day or two and he's gonna start snooping around for some answers. I've gotta find a way to hide him out a little better from now on.

I started to put on the shoes that Chris had given me to replace my old ones...but I remembered what he told me yesterday. He doesn't wanna see me in them. Ever again. Sighhhh...so I kicked them off and got my old worn out shoes from the closet. Geez, they looked so much worse now that I had been wearing a decent pair for the past week. It almost hurt my feet just to put them back on. Ah well, what am I gonna do? Go barefoot?

As if Angel had sensed the emotional weight on my shoulders, he asked me, "What's your deal today? You're being strange."

"Just got a lot on my mind, I guess. It's nothing major."

"If you say so. But you've got the same look on your face that my friend Tim had when the judge sentenced him to an eight year bid up at Joliet prison." He smiled, then looked down at my shoes and raised an interested eyebrow. "Decided to come back from rich boy heaven, I see. Must have been one hell of a crash landing."

"Don't start with me today, ok? I really don't need that right now." I said, and slung my backpack over my shoulder. Surprisingly, Angel backed off with the comments. Something I didn't expect upon my first request. Geez, my face must have really been obvious about my worries this morning. "Sorry. I just....I've gotta go." Angel just shook his head and stepped aside to let me leave. Who knows? Maybe today won't be so bad after all. I mean, Chris is mad and hurt at the moment, but it can't last forever. Right?

Right?

I got on the bus, and took my usual seat. It was hardly as comfortable as my bed at home, but I was tempted to catch a few winks anyway by laying my head up against the window. I couldn't get rid of that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It bubbled and churned with every rotation of the busses wheels, eating me alive from the inside. What if Chris actually tells somebody? What if he's so pissed at me, that he just...ruins the rest of my entire life in a single day? How am I ever gonna be able to hold my head up in that school again? And what's something like this gonna do to Mitchie? I've already seen how his family reacts to people who are....'sexually questionable'. They'll be merciless in their judgments of him, and it'll only get worse when they find out that I'm involved. There's no way that any of this is just gonna disappear. No way at all. I'm just gonna have to deal with his wrath until I can come up with some way to avoid his tricks. And without having him scream my sexuality out to the whole school. Easier said than done, I'm sure.

I was looking forward to having Mitchie's warm presence next to me on the bus today. Just a sweet smile from the most beautiful boy on Earth to soothe my senses. I began to feel my usual mellow fit of anxiety when I saw that we were close to his neighborhood. I sat up in my seat, and lightly teased my hair with my fingers as I waited for the bus to slow down. But.....it didn't. We were getting really close to where Mitchie's stop was, and I thought that maybe the bus driver's mind was elsewhere, and he was going to slam on the breaks any second now. But he didn't. I caught a very short glimpse of my boyfriend on the corner as the bus whizzed right by him and continued down the street! What the hell is he doing? I got up out of my seat and walked up to the front. "Um...excuse me? I think you missed a stop back there."

The driver looked at his list and replied, "No I didn't. That stop isn't on my route anymore." what?

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's been cancelled as of this morning. Now please return to your seat while the bus is in motion."

"But...that doesn't make any..."

"Please return to your seat while the bus is in motion." He said again, and I had to slowly mope my way back to my seat again. There's no way that this is happening. Chris can't just change a BUS schedule....can he? That's impossible! As I plopped back down in my seat, I found my head drooping down as low as it could go without it actually falling off. Now I can't even ride with my boyfriend on the way to school anymore. God, this sucks!

I don't think a bus ride had ever been so long as it was this morning. By the time I got to school, I was literally stir crazy from not having my morning contact with Mitchie. I'm sure that he could be driven to school easily, but what the hell was the deal with him being left behind in the first place? Chris is really beginning to play dirty now. I tried to wait around at the front door to see if I could catch Mitchie before he got to first period. But it looks like he was gonna run late, and already hall monitors were pushing us 'stragglers' to get to class. Shit...I guess I'll have to catch him later. Hopefully Chris didn't have him 'sent off' to the fucking moon!

Needless to say, the beginning of the day was dreadful at best. Just as I was hoping to get a break from Chris' technological assault, I got a note in my very first period class to go back to room 207 at the end of the school day for detention...again. But not for one day. It was for three days! Consecutively. Do any of my teachers do anything besides look at their stupid clipboards and read to me what it says? Are they complete idiots? Not a single teacher questioned the fact that I've never given a single one of them any trouble before. They just handed me a pass and told me to be there. I couldn't even argue my point long enough to inspire a thought or two as to why this would be happening all of the sudden. I doubt they even needed a reason anymore to send me off. For all I know, they were probably looking down on me even worse than the students, figuring that bad boy behavior was 'normal' for someone from my 'less than golden' background. The worst part was...I couldn't make a whole bunch of noise about it. If I protested too strongly, and they decided to investigate, it might lead back to Alex. And if it leads back to Alex, then it'll lead back to Chris. And he's already threatened to out me to the whole school if that happens. So I'm stuck between the apathetic teachers and the mean spirited students, with no real desire to sacrifice it all to make it stop. I don't think I've ever felt so trapped.

"So that's it for today. Your History papers are due on Friday. No exceptions, no late credit. I want them typed and formatted correctly and on my desk at the beginning of class. Understood?" My History teacher could be strict when it came to deadlines. He always made sure to lay down the law just moments before the bell rang. Just as the rest of the class was grabbing its stuff to file out into the hallway, I meekly approached the teacher's desk.

"Um...Mr. Hamlin...I have a bit of a...problem."

"Make it quick, Jack. I've got another class in five minutes." He said, giving me minimal attention as he gathered his papers.

"It's about the report for Friday, sir. I might need...a day or two extention on it. just a day or two..."

"No extentions." He said firmly.

"Wait...you don't understand..."

"I understand perfectly. You want an extention. I'm not giving you one. It sounds like you're the one who's having trouble understanding."

Geez...HE'S in a good mood today. "Mr. Hamlin...I don't have a way to type it up or format it by Friday."

"Why not?"

"The school computer lab...it's only open until five o'clock during the week."

He took a sip of his coffee. "And? I don't see the problem."

"I have..." My eyes drooped a bit, "...I'll be in detention for the next couple of days after school. I can't make it before the lab closes."

"I certainly hope you aren't using your time in detention to justify being late with your homework, Jack. If you're in detention, it's your own fault. So find some way to work around it."

Dammit! "I can't...."

"Why don't you just use your computer at home, and get it finished?" He asked me, sounding slightly frustrated.

"I don't have a computer at home, sir."

"Well can't you just 'get' one? Get a laptop or something. You can find one 'cheap' for about five or six hundred bucks." Did he just say 'cheap'?

"Mr. Hamlin, I don't have five or six hundred bucks!" I started to raise my voice, but lowered it again to beg his conscience to understand my position. "Please...I can't...I can't just go out and 'buy' a computer. Bobby and I are barely making ends meet as it is. I'll do the report, I just need a couple of extra days to finish it." He gave me a look, and I could already tell that he wasn't gonna budge on this. "Mr. Hamlin, I'm one of the best students you've got in this class. I worked my ass off for you. Can't you just make this one exception to give me the same chance as everybody else?"

"You already have the same chance as everybody else, Jack. And they have the tools they need to get the work done. I can't give you special treatment over the other kids just because you landed yourself in detention. I'm sorry." He closed his books and stood up from the desk to get to his next class before he was late. "I suggest you get together with a friend and use their computer instead."

He motioned for me to head for the door so he could lock the classroom up behind us. And I rolled my eyes...defeated, yet again. "Sure...I'll just go to one of my many good 'friends' in this place and borrow their computer. Thanks a lot for understanding." I grumbled sarcastically, not that it had much of an effect. Mr. Hamlin wouldn't care either way. He locked the door and walked away without so much as another word. My head just ached from being stressed out over so much at once. I leaned up against the wall as many of the other kids passed me in the hall, and just...removed myself from the picture for a few moments. I didn't wanna be here. I didn't wanna play this game anymore. 'Just buy a laptop', he says. Oh gee, why didn't I think of that? Yeah, I'll just buy a six hundred dollar laptop so I can participate. And after that, I'll buy myself a Ferrari to drive myself back and forth to school every day instead of riding the bus. And then I'll buy enough groceries so Bobby and I can both go to bed on a full stomach for a change. All I need is hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars to be worthy of playing with everybody else. That way they'll give a shit whether or not I'm able to keep up. I'm sure it'll all be great.

Just then, a small group of girls walked by me giggling, and the boy behind them pointed down at my shoes. "Damn, dude! You want me to shine those for ya?" And they laughed at me as they walked away. "What a loser." I pulled one of my feet back and sorta hid it behind my leg, as though that was gonna do any good. Yeah...some days it hurt. Other days...it really hurt. It's hard to hold your head up when the people with half your heart have twice as much pride.

I don't even wanna 'fit in' anymore....I just wanna be left alone.

I suppose I'll talk to Mitchie and use his computer to work on my project. I know he'll be happy to have me over, and it will be awesome to spend some time together, even with his barracuda bitch of a mother in the house. I can just see the look on her face now. Like, 'Oh...it's your friend again. Come to siphon away some more of our valuable time and money. Let me get your poor friend some crackers and water. That is what their kind eats, isn't it?' It's become so hard to look that woman in the face without wanting to stab her repeatedly with something sharp. But I guess I can bear the humiliation for a few hours this week to finish my report. If I let my grades slip now, my semester is gonna totally go to shit. And this school isn't gonna let me stay if my grades slide too low. I hate needing Mitchie to do stuff like this for me. I feel like such a user for asking all the time. One day...I swear I'm gonna live better than this. One day I'll have enough money to make things easy. At least easier than they are now.

I briefly caught a glimpse of Mitchie in the hallway before lunch and called out to him. He seemed relieved. It made me feel such a level of peace to be able to connect with his warm gaze for a moment or two. Everything about him was a comfort to me, and I felt myself physically relax as he hurried over to say hello. "Dude, what happened this morning?" I asked.

"Chris evidently got Alex to send out a typed message to the school office that was supposedly from my dad. It said that I was cancelling my bus service and would be driven to school from now on."

"What? Can he do that?"

"At this school? Sure. Parents get personal drivers for their kids all the time. The note had a faked signature on it and everything. So I've got to get my dad to straighten it out. It could take up to a week to be put back on the bus route."

"How can they just put an order through without checking up on it first?" I couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"Unfortunately, these parents around here can make quite a lot of noise if they have their requests questioned. They're used to getting their own way and having people bend over backwards for them all the time. The people in the main office don't wanna deal with them, Principal Payton certainly doesn't wanna hear about it. So instead of being verbally ripped apart by snobbish mommies and daddies on a power trip, they just put everything through as it comes in." Mitchie said, and he could see the hurt on my face for even getting him into this. "Jack, it's ok. Really. We'll fix it."

"No. I'll fix it. I'll fix it today. Don't you worry." I said. "Come on, let's get something to eat."

"I...I can't. My lunch has been switched to a monitored study hall in the North wing. I have to be there." When Mitchie said the words, my heart literally broke. Right then and there. Chris was systematically stripping away every single moment that we had together. With the exception of the quiet time we'd be forced to endure from opposite ends of the room in detention after school. "Look, I'll find you before detention today. We'll talk. Ok?" Mitchie's soft grey eyes warmed me up inside with their concern, and as he brushed some of his black blue locks back out of his eyes, his hand reached out delicately to grab mine for a moment. There were other kids in the hall, so it couldn't last for more than a second or two. But that one moment was an eternity for the both of us. His fingers were so soft, so loving...it was the most beauty that I had experienced all day. "We'll get through this. Chris just needs to cool down a bit."

"This isn't fair. He can't just...make all of these changes without somebody noticing. Somebody has got to see that he's totally blackmailing us!" I said in a near panic.

"I know, Jack. I know. But for right now we've gotta keep our heads until we can figure out what we're gonna do. Ok?" He said, and just then the bell rang. "Shit, I'm late. I've gotta be there for attendance or they lock the door. I'll find you later, ok? I love you." He released my hand...and suddenly all of the color in my world began to fade again. The further he got away from me, nearly running to his 'study hall' on the other side of the school...the more I felt his absence. And that's when I began to get angry. Ok...so Chris wants to play games. Fine, he had himself some fun. But I'm going to see to it that this stupid little project of his comes crashing down around him. And soon!

By the time gym class had rolled around, I was just a brain impulse short of punching Chris in the face and letting him work that out! I found myself marching down to that locker room with a vengeance, ready to confront him head to head on all this. You can't imagine how aggravated I was when I saw him sitting on a bench, lacing up his sneakers. I angrily stomped my way forward, and I didn't care who was watching, I wanted answers, and I wanted them now. However, by the time I had gotten anywhere near him, a few of his random cronies stepped in the way. Johnson, the boy who had thrown my shoes in the trash last week, was right in the middle...grinning at me with a sickening smirk. "Whoah, whoah! Where's the fire, fag boy?" He said.

Chris looked over his shoulder at me for a moment, his eyes hardening instantly, and then he simply went back to getting dressed for class. "Get out of the way, I need to talk to Chris."

But the group of boys only tightened up their position. "Sorry, kid. But right now, Chris doesn't want to talk to anyone."

"He'll talk to me..." I said, moving forward, and Johnson put his hand on my chest to stop me.

"He doesn't wanna see anybody, bitch." The biggest of them said. "Especially you."

"Get your hand off of me!" I said, slapping Johnson's hand away. This was, of course, before my brain was able to process the fact that any one of these guys could probably pound me to dust singlehandedly with little to no effort if they wanted to. I think my anger had just gotten the best of me.

"You don't get it, do you, junior? The free ride is over. He's tired of being seen with a loser like you. So why don't you pack up your 'hobo stick' full of clothes and go change in the girls locker room where you belong? This place is now officially off limits to you."

"Can you just stop being an asshole for a minute and let me see him?" I said, trying to move forward again. This time, I got a hard shove backwards, and the whole group stepped forward.

"You see....now you're starting to piss me off!" Johnson hissed through gritted teeth. "Get the fuck out of here! go!" He shoved me again, and this time, when I pushed back, he slammed me hard up against the lockers! The impact rattled the walls, and the wind was knocked out of me instantly. My backpack fell off of my shoulder, and one of them brutally kicked its contents halfway across the locker room floor. "Hey, Charley...keep an eye out for Coach Parker! I'm gonna fuck this little punk up once and for all!"

I was still trying to catch my breath when he grabbed me by the front of my shirt, and I knew that I'd be lucky to get in a punch or two once he started wailing on me. This was definitely gonna leave a mark.

"Hey Johnson...don't worry, I got it." Chris said. Thank God. I wasn't looking forward to visiting the hospital anytime soon.

"What? Aw, c'mon Chris...just let me take a swing on this little sissy!" Johnson had his fist raised, ready to hit me with everything he had, but Chris got up from the bench and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I said I got it. Go on. Give us a minute." Chris' voice was calm, but I could still taste the venom in it. He might have just saved me from getting my ass kicked, but I doubt he did it for any other reason than he wanted me to suffer through more of his daily tortures. If I got suspended, I doubt he could reach me at home. Then again, for all I know, he might have Alex reroute a fucking plane to crash through our roof.

Johnson let go of my shirt and slowly lowered his fist. It was one of those times that I was glad the others held Chris in such high regard. "You know what, slug? Today's your lucky day. But who knows what's on the menu for tomorrow?" He gave me another sudden push into the lockers, and stared at me, his face only inches from mine. "Catch you later, geek."

"Yeah, keep your eyes open, stud!" Said another boy as he pushed my head to the side.

Each of the boys took a little poke at me on their way out, telling me to 'watch my back' in the days to come. Chris' little brat pack of bullies might have listened to him this time, but I'd hate to meet up with him when he's not around. I wish I was strong enough to beat the living shit out of each and every single one of them. It was humiliating enough to have to tolerate their snide remarks and embarrassing insults. But to have them physically push me around without really having much of a chance to fight back...that just makes you feel like less than nothing. I think I can see why some boys end up bringing 'guns' to school.

I kept my head down until they were gone, so as not to provoke them any further. And as soon as they left, Chris approached me. He still had his shirt off, still smelled sweetly of soap. But he was nowhere even remotely close to smiling. "You wanted to talk...so talk."

"So you got your jerk friends to protect you now? From little old me?" I said with a sniffle.

"Like I need it, twerp." He replied.

"Chris..." I lifted my eyes for a second, and what I saw in Chris' expression was so confusing. So undefinable. "...Hasn't this gone on long enough? Aren't you sick of taking your anger out on us?"

He gave me a hurt look. "Us..." He whispered to himself.

"YES! us! Me and Mitchie! Get over it already!" I was still angry at the helplessness of the situation. Still so unbelievably enraged that he would threaten my whole existence by exposing me in front of everybody else when I would have never told anybody about him and his feelings for me. But, through all of his frustration and all of his wicked intentions...I could still see him hurting. It was in plain sight whenever his eyes connected to mine. "Chris...please. I just...I just want this to stop."

"I'm not finished yet."

"Why? What else could you possibly do to hurt me?" I said, and this time, it was Chris' eyes that dropped down to look at his feet. "Dude, what I did was....really fucked up. I know that, and I'm sorry. I lied to you because I already had someone special and I was trying so hard not to hurt you." I said softly, and for a moment, I thought he might be listening. "Chris, you did some really beautiful things for me. We had some awesome times together, and I loved every minute of it. You showed me a side of yourself that I didn't even know existed, and I really appreciate that person for everything he is inside. But....Chris....I'm in love with someone else. Someone who makes me feel...special. I promised him my heart and he promised me his...and we're just happy together. Truly happy." The words left my mouth softly, and when Chris raised his head again, a single tear ran down his cheek. "Please understand that. Please?"

Chris wiped the tear away, and said, "You have no idea....how 'little' that means to me right now."

"Chris..."

"No sweetheart, you had your chance to give your little pathetic speech. Now it's my turn." He growled. "Let me tell you what I see. I see a scared little boy who fucked around with the wrong boy's heart, and now he'll say anything to get out of being punished for it."

"No! It's not like that..."

"Yes, it's exactly like that. It has to be. It's the only thing that makes sense." Another tear fell from his eye, as his voice began to tremble with a mixture of pain and anger. "Because...I can't bear to think that there was ever a time when you actually cared for me. I wouldn't be able to take it if I thought for one second...that just a small part of you actually loved me at all." He sniffled a bit, the damn almost ready to break, and he did his best to shut it all down.

"I know you don't 'hate' me, Chris. Not as much as you pretend to." I said. "Please...if you love me...then please stop hurting me. Just let me go."

Chris thought about it for a second, and then slowly turned his back on me. "Don't bother getting dressed for gym. You're going back to detention." He muttered softly.

There was a long moment of silence between us. I just...stared at his back while he hid his face from me. "You can't even look at me, can you?" I asked, with no answer. "Then you really are a heartless son of a bitch. You know what? After all those wonderful things you said to me, after all the sweet things you did for me...I was actually pretty flattered. I honestly thought that I had misjudged you completely. Heh, you really had me fooled, Chris. I had you wrong all along." I told him. "There's really nothing to love about you at all."

He slipped his gym shirt over his head, still facing the other way. "You can pick up your detention pass from Coach Parker out on the field..."

"FUCK YOU!" I shouted. "You know, with all of these schedule changes and detentions, somebody is gonna figure out that none of this adds up! Sooner or later, you and Alex are gonna get caught!"

"Then I suggest you and your 'fuck-buddy' get together and think about how you two are gonna do everything in your power to keep that from happening, huh? Because you know what happens if anybody finds out." He said, and then closed his locker and locked it. He took two steps towards me and looked me in the eye. "You're right, you know? I still love you, Jack. I love you so much. To the point where I feel I'm 'poisoned' by it. You'll always be the most beautiful boy in the world to me." Then he added. "But if you think for one second that that's gonna stop me from telling your secret...you're wrong. Because hurting you is all I've got left to hold on to at this point. It's the only reason I get up in the morning anymore." He said, and used his fingertips to brush some of my blond locks away from my eyes. "I don't hate you, Derrick...but give me time. I'm warming up." He left me in that locker room by myself, sulking in a corner, waiting to wake up from this nightmare. The game had already been won, and there was no way for me to defend myself. I couldn't get through his anger, I couldn't appeal to his conscience, I couldn't even trigger the love he once had inside for me. There was nothing else for me to do. With a heavy heart, I picked up my scattered books and papers, and shoved it back into my backpack, slinging it over my shoulder. Back to Room 207...and another 40 minutes of quiet time.

The rest of the day was long. Excruciating, to put it lightly. And just as the school day was coming to an end, I still had more detention to look forward to. Mitchie and I did meet up briefly outside of the door, but were hardly allowed to say more than hello to one another before we were sucked into the detention hall by the monitor and told to separate. More time to think. More time to wallow in misery. More time to pray for a swift solution. More time to have those prayers denied. Detention is just a temporary prison created to bore the living shit out of anybody inside. The biggest entertainment was seeing a student secretly toss a paper airplane or launch a spitball. Outside of that, the whole damn place was a tomb for the human spirit. I was ready to jump out of the window by the time it was over.

"Do you wanna ride home?" Mitchie asked me with a stretch. He had almost fallen asleep twice in detention, and I was nodding off every ten minutes. But there's no sleeping either. So the monitor kept an extremely close eye on us, banging on her desk or slamming a drawer whenever she saw us getting comfortable. I can't take much more of that place.

"It's....it's far, Mitchie. I can probably catch the #302 bus and just walk the rest of the way home."

"Don't be silly. I'm not going to have you walk all that way and pay money for the bus when I can just have you dropped off." He said.

Sigh...I'm being a leech again, aren't I? "Are...are you sure? Please don't go out of your way if..."

"Shhhh! It's done." He said, and gave me a sweet smile. The way his sparkling eyes could just land on you so softly...it was like a religious experience. Despite everything wrong in my life at the moment, he had the uncanny ability to instantly take it all away. I fell in love with him over and over again 100 times a day, and each time was a completely different sensation. It never took much to remember why he was my first and only choice.

We started walking out to the place where his driver would be waiting for him, and I said, "I don't know if I can stand another couple of days in that place. It's seriously driving me mad."

"Well, at least I got some homework done in between naps. Not like I had anything else to do."

"I can't even do that. My biggest project this week is a history paper that has to be typed, formatted, and printed...I won't even be able to get to the computer lab until Friday, and that's when it's due." It made me cringe to ask, but I had to do it. "Mitchie...is it ok if I came over and used your computer for a few days? It won't take me long to finish, honestly."

"Sure you can. Why even ask?" He said with a shrug. "You can come over today if you wanna get an early start on it. Sascha's cooking stuffed peppers tonight, I think. You'll love 'em. You can have dinner with us and we'll take you home afterwards. Cool?" He never had an issue with sharing anything of his with me...but it really sucked for me to not ever give anything back. Anything of real value, that is. I know they say that love is the most precious gift you can give and all...but it's really not enough when you want to do so much more.

"Thanks Mitchie....." I mumbled softly, barely above a whisper.

As we climbed into the back seat together, Mitchie looked over and saw the gentle pout on my face. He already knew what was bugging me, but he didn't really make an issue of bringing it up. He just took a hold of my hand and said, "I'm glad you're coming over, Jack. I could really use the company." He gave me a smile, and I gave him a half grin in return. Then he whispered, "You know...it's gonna be hard to keep my hands to myself long enough for you to do homework, right?"

"Hehehe..." I should have known better than to crack a smile around him.

"Ahhh, there's the laugh that I was looking for." He said, and although we remained pretty quiet for the rest of the ride to his house...he never once let go of my hand. Not once.

We went in through the front door and were starting up the steps to his room, when I heard his mother's voice coming from around the corner. "Mitchie, honey? Is that you?" My spirits sank directly into my shoes, and I found myself involuntarily rolling my eyes.

Mitchie was quiet for a moment, and his hand moved up to rub the small of my back. "Yeah, it's me. I'm just gonna go up and do some homework, ok?"

"Well, Sascha's almost done cooking. You should really eat while dinner is still hot..." His mother came walking around the corner, martini in hand, and Mitchie took his hand off of me. "...Oh..." She said, that disgusting tone of false politeness creeping into her voice like so many times before. As much as I hated that woman, I never felt so small as I did in her presence. "I didn't realize you had your...friend with you." She tapped her long fingernails on her glass for a moment, and then said, "Mitchie...can I speak to you in the kitchen for a second, please?"

Then, almost as if he was being protective of me, I felt his hand rise slightly to timidly land on the small of my back again. It wasn't any big event in most people's eyes, but to us it was a shocking display of...dare I say it...affection. "Mother...we have a lot of work to do." He said.

"It will only take a moment. I'm sure your friend, Jack, won't mind." She replied, and slithered her way into the kitchen, fully expecting her obedient son to follow her without any further comment.

I could only imagine what awful things she was getting ready to say to him. I could just imagine. But Mitchie said, "Go on upstairs and turn the computer on, k? I'll be up in a sec."

"Don't get yourself in any trouble because of me, ok?" I pleaded.

"I'm not in trouble. It's nothing. Honest. Just start booting everything up for me. The password is 'Akira'." He said with an adorably shy smile and a wink. It was almost enough to make me feel better. Almost.

I went half way up the steps as he walked into the kitchen. Him and his mom spoke quietly, but I could tell that it was a heated conversation. It was the same old shit. With her trying to convince him that I'm some rancid piece of undesirable street trash, and him trying to defend me as well as he can without letting it slip that we happen to be in love. I didn't have to hear a single whispered word to get the gist of it. So I just shuffled my way up the rest of the stairs to his room, turned on his computer, and waited for him to join me.

His entire mood had changed when he entered the room. He barely looked at me. He seemed a bit hurt, but frustrated beyond belief. When he finally closed the door and raised his stare to meet my own, he said, "We're just gonna eat our dinner up here when it's ready. Ok?" Jesus, she doesn't even want me at the same table as her? Or maybe Mitchie just put his foot down and that was the best way for him to rebel within the limits that he was allowed. Who knows?

As the computer warmed up, Mitchie was pacing back and forth in a heated manner. I could almost feel the warmth of his anger from across the room. Whatever his mother said to him...it must have been pretty insulting. Great. I've been here all of five minutes, and I'm already screwing things up. "Are you ok?" I asked.

"I'm fine."

"I can...I can go if you want..."

"No!" He snapped. "You're not fucking going anywhere! She's just being pigheaded and stupid, and I'm not gonna let her talk down to my boyfriend!" He said, pacing even faster. "She never listens to me. I don't understand why she can't just stop being so fucking cruel all the time and just leave us alone. How can she be so mean?"

"You know...this was a bad idea. I'll find another way to do this." I said, standing up from his computer chair.

"Jack, no. Stay. Please?"

"Your mom looked mad."

"I don't care. You're not her guest, you're mine. And I say you get to stay. Ok?" He said, looking into my eyes. "Ok?" He said a bit louder. I nodded, but I honestly didn't want to be here if the beast downstairs was so determined to toss me out with yesterday's garbage. "I love you." He said, and he kissed my lips softly, his hands resting on my cheeks. I never realized how much I missed the pleasure of his kiss until I was connected with it again.

It was brief, and we both had a lot on our minds a the moment, so it's not like we could really enjoy it as much as we usually did. But just being able to press my mouth against his feather soft lips was a relaxing moment. We stopped immediately when we heard a light knock at the door. "Yeah?" Mitchie called out, and their maid Sascha opened the door. She peeked in, and then brought us a tray with two plates full of food on it. "Aww, you didn't have to do that, Sascha. I would have come and gotten it."

"No, no, it's alright. I'm happy to do it." She said, and gave me a caring smile as I sort of shuffled myself into a corner and tried to pretend like I wasn't even there. "Both of these plates aren't for Mitchie, you know? Come on, eat." She waved me over, and I bashfully came over to where they were standing. Damn..it smelled delicious. My stomach started rumbling the second a whiff of it hit my nose. I love Bobby's makeshift breakfast and dinner, and I was pretty used to eating leftover diner food...but this was something completely different. It was almost exotic in comparison to what I've been eating the past month or so. "Here, tell me how it tastes." She said, digging in with a fork and lifting a hearty mouthfull up to Mitchie's lips.

He couldn't even back up fast enough to keep her from shoving it in his face. Hehehe, in fact, the second he opened his mouth to protest, he was being force fed. I smiled as I watched him react to the spices in it, but he nodded and agreed that it was good. "Mmmph...yeah...s'good..." He said, trying to chew it all before he choked on it. I couldn't help but giggle a bit, as I know she did it on purpose.

Then she smiled and told us, "You know, between you and me, I'm proud of you. Both of you. Your mother is a good woman, but she doesn't see things with her heart like she's supposed to." Then she said, "There is a saying...'Faithful friends are beyond price. No amount can balance their worth.' You're a good boy, Jack, from what little I know of you. And from the way Mitchie sticks by you. So hold on to that, no matter what anybody says. A friendship is to be celebrated, not defended. Ok?" She reached out to ruffle Mitchie's hair while he grinned playfully, and we heard his mother call from downstairs.

"Sascha?"

"I have to serve dinner now. I'll leave you two to your homework. Be good now, ok?" Sascha folded up the tray and took it back downstairs, closing the bedroom door behind her.

Mitchie turned to me with a smile, and this wave of....I dunno...'joy' just seemed to flood into my system. And I couldn't help but giggle gently in return. "She's...nice. I like her." I said.

"Well, I'm glad you like somebody in this house."

"I'm glad somebody likes me in this house." I chuckled. "So....are you gonna let me know how that tastes, or what?" Mitchie picked up his fork to scoop some onto it, but I told him, "Unh unh...I didn't say you needed a fork. I said I wanted to know how it tastes." Mitchie blushed the cutest shade of pink as he got my hint, and he walked over to me to slide his arms around my waist. And he kissed me deeply on the lips. The kind of kiss that we were used to. The kind we could enjoy. The kind only he could give me. My sweetheart. He looked me in the eye as w rubbed our noses together lightly, and I asked him, "Ok, can we eat now?"

"I take it I passed the 'taste test'?" He grinned.

"With flying colors." I gave him another peck on the lips, and then said, "Now get out of the way, I'm starving."

We spent the evening up in his room without any further interruptions. I got a lot done on my homework while Mitchie sat on his bed with his earphones on to give me some peace and quiet. He was finishing up some school work of his own, but every now and then I'd look over at him, and his lips would call out to me with their smooth and soft appearance. Hehehe, I'd creep over to his bed while he wasn't looking, and by the time he saw me out of the corner of his eye, I was already leaning in for the kiss. I could taste his smile on my lips, as he limply laid back and let me take advantage of him. Sometimes it would just be a quick minute or two, and sometimes we'd make out for a full ten minutes before I forced myself to get back to work. The last time though....his tongue just felt so good against mine. His soft body just melted into me like a warm marshmallow and I just couldn't hold him tight enough. But it was getting dark, and I knew that I'd have to be going soon. Bobby would be home any minute, and it never took him long to start worrying about me. It would be especially bad if Angel was trapped outside with no way to get in. It was hard to pull away from Mitchie's embrace, but I managed after only five more minutes of wrapping our tongues around each other.

We rolled onto our backs and stared dreamily up at the ceiling for a bit. There was this...beautiful silence between us. This truly comforting quiet that made me feel so at home. Especially when he reached down once again to take a hold of my hand. I'm not sure how long it lasted, but when he finally spoke, it almost seemed like an unnatural interruption to the moment. "Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking....about stuff."

I smiled. "About stuff? Hehe, could you be a little more specific?"

He sighed, and then turned to look at me for a moment. His eyes traced every inch of me, and he leaned forward to place an angel's kiss on my lips. "About us. About everything that you mean to me. And about...how much I love you more than anything in this world. I'm so lucky to have someone you like you, and sometimes...it feels like I'm dreaming all of this. I'm just scared that I'm gonna wake up one day and find out that none of this was true." He said, and he kissed me again. "But..." He started. "...I've also been thinking about Chris...and my mom...and all of the people who don't know about us. And I wonder if maybe...maybe things could be different. For us, I mean."

I wrinkled up my forehead for a moment. "I'm not sure that I follow you."

"There really isn't any easy way to say it, but...what if....we came out at school?"

"Wh.....what?" I said, feeing a sudden shiver run through me from head to toe.

"What if we told people how we felt about each other? I mean...it's really the only weapon Chris has to use against us. And my mom might actually back off if she knew you were my boyfriend and not just somebody I was 'hanging around' with. I mean...what if...what if it makes things better?"

I sat up in the bed and felt a heavy weight dropping into the pit of my stomach. My hands started to tremble at the mere thought of it. "Mitchie..I don't....I don't know about this."

"I know baby, I know it's....'difficult' to think about. But...what if we did it? My cousin Kelley did it, and she says it's nowhere near as bad as anyone thinks it's gonna be. It just takes an adjustment. But after that...you and me, we'll be free."

My heart was racing, my nerves tightening up to the point where they were about to snap in two. It was a terrifying suggestion. Something that I didn't want to deal with. Not now, not ever. "Do you know what you're saying?" I asked.

"Yeah, I do. I'm saying that we won't have to be afraid of Chris and his terror tactics anymore. I'm saying that I don't have to hide you up in my room or in the basement everytime you come over to the house. I'm saying....Jack, I'm saying that maybe I'll get the chance to kiss your lips and hold your hand whenever I feel the urge. And not just when we're alone."

"I don't know about this..."

"I'm not gonna force you to do anything you don't wanna do. But...just think about it, ok? It won't be easy for me either...but it might be better for both of us if we just...'force' people to deal with it. You know?"

Mitchie was laying next to me, looking so cute, so concerned, so angelic. It was hard to not fall under his spell. But....what he was asking me to do was a huge leap of faith for me. huge! What if things get worse? What if we get beaten up everyday? What if his parents completely disown him? What if Chris only finds another way to totally humiliate us, and it's even worse than before? And Bobby! Oh God, how long will it be until Bobby finds. After all that money he spent, all that time, all those late nights, sacrificing so much of himself for my benefit...what is he gonna think when I give him the disappointing news? I don't....I don't think I can handle this right now. Not at all.

"I've gotta go. It's late." I said. It was the only way for me to escape the conversation. Hopefully Mitchie will forget all about this tomorrow and we can find another way. any other way. Coming out of the closet in an environment where they already hate and ridicule me is not an appealing solution at all. Even though I loved him with all my heart...could I really do something like that? Could I completely flip my entire life upside down for our relationship...and not resent him for it later? I don't know. And right now, I don't think I'm willing to risk it.

I couldn't really tell if Mitchie was disappointed in my reaction or not. Somewhere between loving me unconditionally and wanting what he thought was best for us...was this no man's land of confusing emotions and supportive masks that we each wore for one another's benefit. But he didn't really make a fuss about it. In fact, when we got back into the car for his driver to take me home...he held my hand the whole way back. The two of us remained in that back seat, fingers clasped together, feeling the warmth of his soft palm against mine. It was...you know...'nice'. Really nice. I tried to force myself to imagine what it would be like to do this all the time. I tried to make myself believe that it would be grand if we could be this close all the time without having to hide. Without having to watch what we said, or cover up our actions, or try to keep from staring at one another for too long for fear that someone else will see. What if? That was the big question, wasn't it? What if?

When the car got to my house, Mitchie gave my hand an extra squeeze and smiled warmly at me. "I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"Sighhh...Room 207, as always." I grinned, and he giggled a bit. "Later." I tried my best to say 'I love you' with my eyes, and I know he got the message. But he was right, it wasn't the same as saying it out loud. It would have been...a cool way to end the evening.

He returned the sentiment. "Later." And I shut the door, letting him drive off into the night without me. I missed him already.

I came in through the back door and saw Bobby sitting at the kitchen table balancing out bills and the funds we had to pay them with for this month. He always had a stressed look on his face when it came to this particular activity. It was painful to look at. "Hi Bobby." I said quietly.

"Hey kiddo, You're home awfully late. Where have you been?" He asked.

"I went over to...Mitchie's house...for a while..." My voice trailed off into nothing. Bobby was sitting right there in front of me, head down as he tried to figure out how to keep the lights and the heat on while still putting food on the table. The question stayed swirling around in my mind. What if? What if, what if, what if? I felt a tremble in my knees as I found myself trying to dig deep enough to find the courage to even mention the idea of being gay around him. I was staring at him from the corner, quaking inside. What if? Shit...no...this is stupid. You are not doing this, Jack! Life is good, don't fuck it up! We can...we can live just fine in the closet. It's not like it's anybody else's business anyway, right? So why should I have to come out to anybody? Ever?

But..................what if?

"I don't know what to do about the car. I'm going to have to get it out of there before they start charging me shelter fees, and I really can't afford that. I might be able to get an extension on the phone bill, but only for another few weeks or so. Sigh...I'm gonna have to take another extra shift or two every week. Just until the car is fixed and paid for. I figure I've got some vacation time coming up, maybe I can take that right after and...rest for a bit. How's that sound?" He looked up at me, and saw me shifting from one leg to the other, lost in my thoughts. "I'm sorry, kiddo. Don't mind me, I'm just thinking out loud. Is there something on your mind?"

Say it! No! No wait...don't say it! Say something else first! Ask him about his day, and then....then....tell him..that you have 'something' you wanna tell him..and then...no wait! Don't say ANYTHING! Don't say anything at all! Keep your mouth shut and just go to bed! We can do it later! Or never! Whatever! ARRRGH!!

"No. I'm..I'm ok. Just tired, that's all." I said, silently relieved, but angry at myself, for chickening out at such a crucial moment.

"I know the feeling." He grinned.

"That's...that's great." I said, still unable to move. The emotion was welling up in the back of my throat, cutting off my air supply. I couldn't say it. I honestly couldn't say it. I had to get out of there. I had to run away now. "I'm...I'm gonna go to bed, so..." I said, and sulked my way to my bedroom. Just needed time to lay down and think, that's all.

I'm keeping my mouth closed. I don't need to spoil what's left of my life. I'll find another way. I will.


	22. Chapter 22

It was hard to shake myself out of sleep the next morning. Especially after being scared half to death by Angel stumbling into my room at 2 AM in some lame attempt to 'sneak' into the house after hours. Either Bobby was too tired to hear him come in last night, or he was just too tired to care this morning. Either way, it took a while to get back to sleep. And those few moments of frustration felt like they cost me an entire night's worth of sleep.

Not that I was going to need my stamina for much more than detention anyway, in one form or another. I rolled over in bed, trying to absorb the last little bit of heat from my warm morning blankets as I could, and I saw Angel slowly waking up on the floor next to the bed. He lazily gave me a crooked grin as he rubbed his eyes. I giggled a bit and said, "What the hell did you think you were doing last night?"

"You heard me?"

"Dude...half the fucking neighborhood heard you. You scared me half to death."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Like what? 'Hey, idiot, I'm trying to sleep?' I kinda thought you'd be able to figure that out at two o'clock in the morning." I said.

"Damn. My bad, dude. I was trying to 'get some' last night."

"Gee, that's original." I said, rolling my eyes. "So did you get any?"

"No!" He pouted slightly. "I went over to Johnny Rourke's house, cause I hear his sister is kinda digging me, right? Now, Johnny's a total lightweight when it comes to drinking, but I heard that his sister can hold her own a lot better. So all of us are kinda sitting around, getting kinda toasty, you know? Things are going just like they're supposed to. Johnny gets fucked up first, and he's getting ready to pass out, leaving me and his sister all uninhibited and ready to party, you know?"

"And this is the part when things go wrong, right?" I asked.

"I don't know what the hell happened, but the room starts spinning and I realize that I kinda was going a little too hard on the drinks. I'm basically getting ready to slide right off of the couch, and she asks me if I'm ok. I don't want her to know I'm that buzzed, and I certainly don't wanna puke or I won't get her to let me suck her tits, right? So I lay back for a second, and tell her that I'm fine, and I just wanna close my eyes for a second. Just to keep the room from spinning. Next thing I know, it's one o'clock in the morning, the whole house is dark, she's gone to bed without me, and I'm laying on the couch with my head in fucking Johnny Rourke's lap."

"Hehehe, serves you right, ya pervert. Johnny Rourke's sister is like two years older than you."

"Yeah....she's built like it too." He snickered. Sometimes that boy is so hopeless.

"Whatever. Just...be a little bit more discreet when you come in from now on, will ya? Bobby might seem like a hard sleeper, but he can be kind of a curfew hound....guest or no guest."

"Don't worry, I'll be totally stealth-like next time." He said. Then, he sat up a bit. "Hey....what is that?"

"What is what?" I asked him.

"That. On your hand. What is that?" I looked at my hand and told him there wasn't anything on it. "Yes there is. It's right there." I looked again, and he said, "Here, give me your hand." He took a hold of my wrist, and with a jerk, he suddenly pulled it down and pressed it against his morning hardon!

"Gross! What the fuck?" I giggled, pulling my hand back as quickly as possible. Angel immediately cracked up and rolled over on his side laughing. "Hehe, JERK! It's not funny!" I said, but couldn't stop laughing myself. I do have to admit though...he was a bit bigger than I thought he would be. God, am I being weird or what? "That's it, I'm getting dressed."

Angel kept laughing at me as I got out of bed and gave him a kick for being obnoxious. Then I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to get cleaned up. But not before hearing Angel say, "Ya big ol' fag! Hehehe!" I gave him the finger on my way out, but somehow...that just felt like his comment was a bit more obscene than usual. I don't know, maybe it was just me. I mean...Angel was being his usual goofy self, right? He's not being intentionally rude or hateful when he says stuff like that, but...this morning, I kinda took it to heart. Maybe all this 'coming out' talk from Mitchie has gotten me all backwards.

I hopped in the shower and let the warm water run down over my shoulders. You would think that the quiet moment would bring me some peace of mind, but it didn't. Not at all. In fact...having time to think only made things worse. I'd rather stay too busy to worry about much of anything. My identity is on the line here. My whole world, my entire life, from this point on will be radically different if Chris so much as utters a WORD about me and Mitchie being gay. To anybody! I mean...he's already got a great deal of mindless followers at that school as it is. And the fact that they totally hate me, as well as most of the rich kids in that damn place do...it would be open season on me for the rest of my academic career! No certificate of appreciation would keep them from spitting on me in the hallways if they knew I was even more of an outcast than what they made of me for being...um....'not' rich. Over something like this? They'll fucking roast me and feed me to the volleyball team! I just.....argh....I've got to find a way to appeal to something in Chris that misses me! Or at least cares enough to not want to hurt me. The bad news is...I don't know how to find that particular part of him anymore. It's, like....gone. And I chased it away.

There's nothing like pouting and nurturing your regrets in the shower to start off a day in high school. Perfect mindset for me to have when entering the academic prison system. Sigh....I need to just swallow it up and get myself together. The last thing I want is for Chris and his goons to see how much this is getting to me. I should be counting my blessings, honestly. At least Chris has kept his retaliation to the school grounds. It hasn't come 'home' just yet, and that means that Bobby won't be involved. At least not yet he won't. I just wish that I didn't have to stress over this anymore. And...and I wish I hadn't hurt him so badly. I mean, let's be honest, that's what all of this is about, isn't it? I could have told Chris to back off a long time ago and just put a stop to it before it even started. Even his determination would have given way to common sense by the time his heart had really gotten involved. But...I let it go on and on. I just...I liked it, you know? He was cute and he was funny and he was chasing me all over town, trying to get my attention...my ego just kinda got involved and I let him think...I mean, we were friends, but I didn't think...

Sigh.....I'm so screwed.

When I got out of the shower and went back into my room, Angel was ready to take a shower of his own. God knows how he can kill so many hours for so many consecutive days in a row. As much as I detest spending 80 percent of my life in school, I honestly don't know what I'd do with myself if I wasn't there.

"It's about time, shower boy." He said with a little push and a smile, and he went into the bathroom and closed the door.

I could smell Bobby making toast and eggs downstairs, and the first whiff of that morning aroma was enough to instantly get my stomach growling. I trotted into the kitchen and he handed me a plate. "Butter's in the fridge." He said. He was still in his boxers...and he just looked so...'faded'. His hair was dry and kinda had split ends everywhere, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he was half sleepwalking, and when I sat down at the table, I had to push aside a collection of bills and envelopes just to have a place to eat. Those bills were getting more and more colorful by the week. The closer they get to that all powerful 'final notice', the more the colors of the bills get. From white paper, to yellow, to pink, to red. And when they go back to white again...that's when you know you're in trouble. That usually means, 'We just cut off your electricity. Deal with it, deadbeat.' Bobby looked at the table, and came over to gather some of the papers up. "Sorry. I'm just trying to figure things out, sweetheart." he sat down with some toast himself and lightly spread some butter over it. "Do you want jelly?" he asked, getting up to go to the fridge.

I almost didn't want to say it. "Um...we're out."

"Oh....right." he sat back down and paused for a second, no emotion showing on his face. Then he snapped out of it, and saw me watching. He gave me a little smile, "I'll bring some packets home from that diner for tomorrow, k? Do we need anything else? Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise?" I shook my head. "You sure? I'll bring some home anyway. You never know, right?" He took a bite of his toast, and things were quiet for a moment. Then he said something that seemed completely out of the blue. "You know, it's been while since you've seen ma, right? Maybe we could set up something where you could go for a little visit, huh? We could both go. Together."

What? I didn't understand. "Um...ok..." I said quietly.

"It wouldn't be for long. Just a little bit. Ma could drive you back and forth to school. No more school bus." He looked down at the table when he said it, but kept a somewhat upbeat tone of voice. Like he was trying to 'sell' me on the idea. "You can have your old room back and you can actually hang under that bed. Ma can make you those blueberry pancakes you liked so much."

It was an awkward moment, to say the least. But, to avoid the risk of possibly hurting his feelings, I simply too another bite of my toast, and a fork full of eggs, and nodded my head. "Well...yeah. Sure. I guess." But I really didn't want to go. I certainly hope that he wasn't making any plans to do me the favor of living with Ma while he sat here in this house all by himself and starved and struggled all alone. I wouldn't allow it. If he needs my help, why doesn't he just ask me? You know? Shit...I've got to find a way to get a job. Somebody around here has got to hire help under the age of 16. If I wait two whole years to get a job, we'll both be homeless.

We heard a few bumps upstairs as Angel came out of the shower and went into my room to get dressed. There was another silence, and that's when Bobby asked me, "So when are you planning to tell me what's going on with Angel?"

"Angel? Nothing. Nothing's going on." I said, trying to practically bury my face in my breakfast to avoid the question.

"Jack..." He said, a stern vibration creeping into his voice. "...Talk to me."

"There's nothing going on, Bobby. Really. Angel just missed us, that's all. If you're talking about last night, he totally apologized for it when I mentioned it to him." He wrinkled up his forehead for a second, and I realized that maybe I should just keep my mouth shut about that particular incident. "We'll be quiet. I swear."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Jack." She said. "Is Angel in some kind of trouble?"

"Bobby...."

"Because if he's in trouble, you know I can help him just like I helped you. You just have to talk to me."

"He doesn't need any help, ok?" I said.

"What does Ma think about him leaving Detroit?"

"She doesn't care, ok? Just....leave it alone. Angel's just fine. He just wanted to get way from things for a while." I said, almost agitated by the fact that he wouldn't let it go.

"Well, I'd kinda like to hear that from ma, if you don't mind."

"NO!" I said out loud. My eyes widened for a split second and I looked back down at my breakfast as I realized how 'panic stricken' I sounded when he mentioned talking to mom. "Just....don't. Ok, Bobby? Promise me?" He leaned back in his chair and folded her arms. "Please? Look...we just wanted some time to catch up and be friends again. He's not making any trouble. I just wanna spend some time with him, ok? Seriously."

His face did not look happy. "I don't like this, Jack. I don't like it one fucking bit." He said.

"It's just for another day or two. K? Then he'll be gone. You'll see." I don't know how in the hell I planned to have Angel's problems with mom all wrapped up and 'sitcom solved' in the next day or two...but if I could just get an extension from him , at least I'd get a chance to think up another excuse for him to stay a bit longer. I can't just 'turn him in'. I can't do that to him. I gave him my word that I'd help him out, and that's just what I'm gonna do.

I managed to get out of the house without too many more questions being thrown my way. I was extremely lucky, but I know Bobby, and he won't just 'forget' about this. He respects my need for some privacy, and he won't push as long as he doesn't see any immediate threats in what I'm doing. But he doesn't like being in the dark, and he simply won't tolerate being lied to. So I'm walking a very thin line here, and I won't be able to balance on it for too much longer without giving him a little info about what's going on here. Sigh, great. Like I need to worry about this right now!

I had to leave to catch the bus just as Angel was coming downstairs. I didn't have time to explain, but I gave him a signal to warn him to stay away from Bobby if he wanted to escape the interrogation. He sorta nodded, put his shoes on, and left the same time as I did. We've gotta work something out soon, or this whole plan is gonna go to shit.

I seriously missed Mitchie's presence on the bus that day. It hurt my heart every time we passed his stop...and just kept driving. It would still be a couple of days before he was re-added to the bus route, and I'm sure that it was going to hate every minute of transportation until then. Looking up from my sulking shoulders...I saw the window across the aisle from me...where I used to watch him every morning. Where I used to see the hidden sadness in his eyes, giving such a raw sense of 'personality' to his untouchable beauty. I remember how the sun used to shine on his face, and how soft his hair looked, and amazing his lips were. His clothes were always just so clean and perfect, and his eyes would almost glow with this special shade of grey that has to be witnessed to be believed. I sighed as I thought about the way his silky hair would gently sweep back and forth across his cheeks as the bus would start and stop on the way to school. I was so infatuated and so intimidated at the same time. It was almost like a dream, just being close enough to him to stare blankly, silently wishing that I could get the courage to speak to him. There's no greater magic in the world than having that feeling rattling around in the pit of your stomach with every breath you take.

Since then...Mitchie has become more to me than words will ever describe. He has touched my heart and soul in ways that I doubt that I could ever expect anybody else to understand. There are a lot of cute boys at my school, some that might even be more attractive than Mitchie is. And Chris is extremely hot by most standards....and he was wiling to do anything to make me happy. But....not one of those boys are my Mitchie. None of them. They just....they don't count, you know? There's no explanation for it, no logic to it, no 'cure' for its symptoms...I'm just in love. I'm in love with the boy that I want. And he loves me too. That alone makes me blissfully happy every day of my life. Even during the hard times, he's my light in the dark, he's the one thing that reminds me that better days are ahead. Despite all the bullshit, and the money, and the social judgment, surrounding us...he was willing to fight for me, even with his own parents...just to keep me close. And I was willing to do the same for him. We've come a long way from me staring at him while he stared out of that bus window every weekday morning...but the feeling hasn't changed. And it never will. We traded hearts, and that love isn't going anywhere....ever. No matter what people try to do to split us up, I'm not going to let my only joy go.

And I take comfort in knowing that. I really do.

The bus pulled into the school gates, and let us all off. I didn't bother to take much with me to school except for reading material for detention and whatever small workbook materials I needed for class. But when I reported directly to the detention hall and sat down for my first period of 'broken heart punishment'...I got a bit of a surprise. "Jack, what are you doing in my detention hall today, son?" The monitor said.

I gave him a lazy look, and told him, "I'm on your list, sir."

He looked it over. "I don't see your name."

"Trust me....it's on there."

"Trust me....it's not." He replied, showing me the clipboard. I was confused...but it looked like I was actually...free today. "Out. Go to class."

"Are....are you sure?" I asked.

"Do you WANT to stay in my detention hall....?"

"NO! No...I'm gone. Thanks. I mean...yeah...thanks," I said, and quickly rushed out of the room before he had a chance to double check and keep me anyway.

The morning bell had already rung, so I was left to walk the empty halls by myself until I got to my next class. A million thoughts went through my mind. Wondering if maybe my little talk with Chris yesterday had actually helped him to see the light. Maybe he's seen the light is willing to give me a break. I knew that there was some goodness left in him somewhere! I knew it! I mean, he couldn't just hate me forever, right? Maybe he'll back off and just accept things the way they are. Maybe we can even go back to being friends after he takes some time to lick his wounds a bit more.

Then...I thought a bit more about the situation...

Wait...what if this is bad? What if Chris is setting me up for something even more terrible and more humiliating than detention could ever be? He's doing this to throw me off, isn't he? I'll bet he is. He's gonna get me to let my defenses down, and then he's gonna slam me with something harsh! I've gotta be ready for anything. I mean, literally anything! For all I know, he could be waiting in this hallway to push me into an empty classroom and have his groupies work me over with pipes and wrenches from the janitor's closet. It was something that worried me all morning, as I went from class to class without any trouble from my teachers whatsoever. What gives here? Something is completely going bonkers here. What...did Chris take a 'day off' from his torture or something?

I think it was even more of a torture, not knowing what was going on in Chris' devious mind, and how this new strategy fit into his evil plan to make life a pure hell for both me and Mitchie. But what could I do but wait helplessly for the shit storm to roll in and consume us all?

I think I must have been rattling myself to pieces with bad thoughts when lunch time rolled around. It must have been pretty visible on my face, because not even my usual flock of daily 'hecklers' bothered to tease me today. I guess they took one look at me and figured that I was already punishing myself beyond anything that they could do to me. So why bother, right? I can't tell you what a relief it was to feel a gentle hand on my shoulder that day as I sat in the courtyard, eating a stale sandwich and a bag of corn chips.

Mitchie looked more incredible than ever when I looked up and saw his smiling face looking down at me. It was a definite surprise, and I was overjoyed to just have him near me again. It felt like some kind of concrete fantasy. But he was here, and I doubt that my smile could spread out wide enough to show my appreciation.

"Hey!" I said in surprise. "I thought you had your lunch switched for that...monitored study hall thing?"

"I did." He said with a shrug of his shoulders. "I ditched. I figured...what the hell can they do to me? Give me more detention? I don't think I have room on my daily schedule for any more punishment. So I guess they'll be stuck as to what to do with me at this point." He gave me a warm smile. "To be honest, it's kind of a liberating feeling."

"How did you know I'd be here?"

Mitchie came to sit down beside me. "Lucky guess. I know you come here to be alone when things are bothering you."

"You know me well."

"I'd like to think so. Besides...I wanted to see you. It's been weird to think about you all day and not get to see your smile. At least once or twice a day. It kinda 'aches' inside, you know?"

I looked him in the eye, and was actually able to work up a half way decent smile. "Yeah, I know. Believe me."

He smiled back at me, and for that golden moment...everything felt 'just right' again. Then he giggled and said, "Look at you...you wanna kiss me right now, don't you? Hehe!"

"Oh god, yes!" I laughed.

"Well, if you come over after school, and finish up your paper for class a few minutes early..." He smirked wickedly. "...We can lock the door to my room...maybe get comfortable..."

I bit my bottom lip, "And you'll give up a little milk and honey?"

"Hmmmm...maybe. If you're good."

I nodded, "Oh I'm good. I'm the best." He smiled, and leaned over to rest his head on my shoulder for a second or two before reaching around me for my lunch bag. "What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I just wanna see what you've got in there. That's all."

"Why?"

"Because..." He said, and my smile got him to confess. "...Because I can't go to the cafeteria...I'm ditching. You wanna share?"

I raised an eyebrow, and told him, "Sigh....fine. But don't make a habit of this. I'm tired of carrying you, Mitchie." He burst out laughing and I instantly joined him. "Poor people are like dogs, you know? If you feed 'em, they just keep coming back."

"Just give me some of your sandwich, bitch!" He said, grabbing the bag.

"I've got your 'sandwich' right here, sweetheart!" And we playfully tussled around a bit before I gave in and split my lunch right down the middle with him. Hell, I would just be eating for the sake of appearances anyway at this point. Just being near him again...it was like I wasn't hungry anymore. My body had just what it needed. Endless energy, like magic. And despite all the bullshit surrounding us today...lunchtime ws ours. All ours. Nobody could take that away from us. How awesome is it to know that you have something that survives even the most intentionally evil attacks? That defies any and every force working against it? It's such a religious experience to look into those eyes and know, beyond all doubt, that this is what I want. And I've got it. I've got it right here in the palm of my hands, and I never have to let it go.

Yeah....lunch time was.....good.

I don't think that Mitchie had to suffer any additional consequences for ditching that study hall today. They probably didn't even care to take attendance. Most of that 'monitored' and 'mandatory' stuff is more bark than bite anyway. All hype and empty threats to scare us into showing up. Hehe, maybe Mitchie and I can just walk out one day and find ourselves a nice private place to screw like jack rabbits until the final bell rings and then go home like nothing happened. How's that for extracurricular activities?

I got on the bus at the end of the day, and was surprised to find myself with a grin on my face. I had actually made it an entire day without a single trip to academic hell, and while I thought about possibly finding Chris and thanking him for lifting his ban on me and my activities, I didn't. The last thing I wanted was to jinx his sudden unexplained kindness. For all I know, he had just let it slip his mind today, and would immediately put the whammy back on my already oppressive schedule. But...if it was just some random act of forgiveness, then I was forever grateful for it.

Mitchie had to stay after school, as he didn't seem to be as lucky as I was in avoiding Chris' wrath. But I'd still get to see him later on. If I could finish up that History paper for Mr. Hamlin really fast, then I get to suck on those sweet lush lips of his for the rest of the evening until it's time to come home again. Mitchie and I having the privacy for a little naughtiness eerie now and then is one of the only major perks I get out of having his mother despise me so much. The further she stays away from me the better, especially when I'm doing inappropriate things with her precious little boy! Hehehe! Put that in your martini, barraccuda face! I can't wait. I'm gonna rest up for a few seconds, grab a can of soda out of the fridge, and head right back over to Mitchie's place just as soon as he lets me know that he's on his way home.

I wish that I could say that everything went along just that easy. But it didn't.

A car slowly pulled up beside me as I was walking home from where the bus dropped me off. And the back seat window rolled down, Chris leaning his head out. "Hey there, Slug. You're looking awfully cheerful. You must have had yourself one hell of a really good day, huh?" This wasn't going to be a 'pleasant' run-in, I could tell. I could hear it in the tone of his voice. I could see it in the especially smug tilt of his grin. So much for him being 'kind'.

"Hey, Chris..." I said, still walking forward as his driver kept a steady pace beside me.

"Awww, now you were looking so happy a second ago. Now you see little ol' me coming by, and your smile magically disappears. Go figure." He said. "If you keep this up, you're liable to hurt my feelings, you know that?"

"What do you want, Chris?" I said, my hopes severely dashed over him leaving me alone once and for all. I just wanted to walk that last block and a half to get home. That's all.

"What do I 'want'? Hehehe, I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to see your face brighten up when you saw me again...just like it did when you saw Mitchie at lunch." Shit....how the hell does he find this stuff out so quickly? I glanced over at him briefly, to see an evil smile on his lips as he shook his head. He knew that he had caught me red handed....again. "You've been breaking the rules, Slug. And breaking the rules means more punishment. You're going to learn to respect this little game of mine, you know that right?"

"There is no game, Chris! Why can't you just fucking leave us alone! Haven't you had enough of your childish little temper tantrum yet?"

"Had enough? Hell no, Slug! I'm just getting started!" He told me, and I sped up my pace as I saw my house in the distance. "Now...since Mitchie didn't show up to his study hall like he was supposed, I'll just have to find a more 'secure' way of keeping him put. That's something I'll deal with in time. But you? I've got 'special' plans for you, my friend."

I stopped walking at that point, and with an evil look, I approached the car window and looked him right in his smug little face. "You wanna know something, Chris? All of this energy and this effort to keep us apart...it's not gonna work. It's never gonna work! Do you wanna know why? Because we have something together that you could never understand. You couldn't buy it, you couldn't force it, you couldn't even charm it out of me. And you can't bully it out of me either. I don't love you. I am never going to love you! And if you think that a few computer tricks and some long hours in detention is going to change anything, then you're even more pathetic than I thought!" I said, hoping that it would hurt. Hoping that it would do the kind of damage that I needed it to do. From the way his smile faded and turned into a hurtful sneer of anger....I'm thinking I made contact. "Your so-called 'love' is a joke, Chris. And at the end of the day, I'd rather truly be in love with someone I never get to see, than to be seen with someone that I could never love. Believe me...you're just wasting your time."

I walked away from the car as Chris sat there in silence, gnashing his teeth together as the sting of it infiltrated every part of him. Then he told his diver to put the car in park and just wait for him right there. I was almost on my front lawn when I heard the car door slam shut, and Chris yelled out to me. "Hey! We're not fucking finished yet!"

I turned to face him, at my very limit with everything he had done to me and my boyfriend. If I didn't stand up to him now, he'll just keep getting worse. And this has to stop now. "What are you gonna do, Chris? What could you possibly do to me that would make me feel any differently about you?"

"I couldn't give a shit how you feel! This isn't about you! It's about me!"

"I know it is." I said. "It's always about you, Chris. From the very first time you kissed me. You're so used to getting your way, so used to having people bend over backwards to make you happy, that you never developed the capacity to care for somebody other than yourself."

"I cared about you, and what did it get me?"

"It got you a good friend who really believed that you were more than just some spoiled little rich kid with a permanent chip on his shoulder." I said. "A friend who liked you so much that he was willing to hide the most important thing in his life from you in order to spare your feelings."

He paused for a moment, but he was still hurt. Still angry. And he wasn't about to let me off the hook that easy. "You know, you really have perfected the art of bullshit. You really have. But you wanna now something? You had my heart. You had it, and you fucking stomped all over it while you and Mitchie went off to kiss and cuddle and laugh behind my back! That's cool, I was a sucker for ever giving a degenerate piece of poor ghetto trash the time of day anyway." He said, stepping closer to me. "But guess what? My heart is mine again. And since I don't have the 'capacity to care' about anybody, I'm gonna stop playing little baby games with you, and turn the heat up on you and your boyfriend. How's that?" He said. "The gloves are off, faggot! I want you to come over to my house, tonight! Seven o'clock, and not a minute later. Wear something nice. Whatever goes for 'nice' in your particular price range." He said. "If you're late, I start making phone calls. A different student every five minutes that you're late. And I let them know just what you and Mitchie have been up to behind closed doors. If you don't show...and I call Patrice and Norman, and give them a nice little story for the school newspaper about the proud new gay couple roaming the halls. And that's just for starters."

"Chris! This isn't funny anymore!" I shouted.

"Heh! You're damn right it isn't funny! Things don't really get funny until me and my locker room buddies go for a couple of burgers at your brother's greasy ass little diner! I'm sure he'd be very interested to know why his bouncing baby boy was so infatuated with another boy at his new school. Or why he spends so many weekends at his house. I'm sure he'll be fine with having a queer son. He seem's like the type who wouldn't feel like he wasted all of that money he spent on you. Who knows? He might even buy himself a rainbow pin to match the dirt stains on his clothing."

I tried to stand strong, but Chris could already see the quiver of fear in my eyes. He could already see the weakness spreading as my breaths got short, and my hands began to tremble. "How can you be so damn heartless, Chris? To me?"

"You're the reason I'm 'heartless' in the first place, sweetheart."

"I'll deny it. I'll tell them you're lying."

"I'll tell them I'm not." He grinned. "I already told you...you're credibility is shot. And juicy rumors never go away, Jack. Not ever." He told me. "You don't seem to understand...there are people in that place that are praying for your downfall. They can't wait to get a hold of something like this."

"Why?" I said, my voice shaking as the fear crept even deeper into my spirit. "What did I ever do to them?"

"You're not one of us, Jack! That's what you did! You didn't work to get the opportunities you have. Your brother is a fucking construction worker! Your family is long gone! You live in the suburban equivalent of a roach motel! You can't even keep a nice pair of shoes!" Why was he doing this? why? "Do you know how hard some of these parents push their kid to be the very best? At everything? And now, those same kids have to go home to angry mothers and fathers who are constantly reminding them how some poor little ragdoll from the slums made out better than they did! Oh yes...they are looking to see you embarrassed, my friend!"

"I....I do not....live in a fucking 'slum'..." I said meekly my voice almost ready to break. "...And I've got more....heart, and more brains, and more....dignity...than ALL of you put together! So fuck you, and fuck them too!" I said with a sniffle. "I don't care if the whole damn school hates me...I'm still smarter than all of them." I said, "And I've still got someone out there who loves me. Completely! Without exception! And when we're naked, and kissing, and holding each other...you're the furthest thing from my mind. So deal with it."

Chris stepped even closer, bumping me with his chest. "You know, you should really be careful what you say to me, Slug!"

"It hurts, doesn't it? Knowing that Mitchie can have me anytime he wants, and all you can do is sit at home and cry about it!"

"Watch it!" He said, now giving me a hard shove that almost knocked me down.

"What are you gonna do, Chris? Kick my ass? Huh? What's that gonna solve?"

"I doubt we'll ever find out, because it's not gonna happen. Not today." Came a voice from behind me, and I saw Angel coming towards us from the house to stand toe to toe with Chris in the middle of the street.

Chris immediately looked him up and down. "Excuse me? Does this even concern you?"

"I'd say it does." Angel answered. I found myself backing away as the tension between the two of them got so thick that it was almost hard to breathe. They squared off, face to face, and I was almost afraid to see where things would go from here.

"You know what? You should really learn to mind your own fucking business." Chris said.

"Really? Why don't you teach me, hot shot?"

"Do yourself a favor...turn around, and walk away. Before you find yourself with a bigger problem than you're prepared to deal with."

As far as I know...neither one of them had any trouble when it came to fighting. And I didn't see anybody backing down, or even showing a hint of a desire to. Chances are, the second one of them throws the first punch...they're gonna go at it until one of them simply can't get up anymore. And to be honest, I didn't want to see that happen to either one of them.

"You guys...wait..." I said, hoping to get them to step apart for a second or two. But as soon as I got close to them, they both lightly pushed me back, never taking their eyes off of one another.

"Shouldn't you be digging around in someone's trash so you could eat dinner tonight?" Chris sneered.

"Heh, funny. Yeah, actually I just came back from that. You wanna come inside and have some? Or are you late for your ballet class, sissy?"

"Try Lacrosse, dickwad!" Chris said.

"Oooh, dangerous!" Angel responded, as they both began to circle one another in the street.

"This isn't necessary, you guys! Seriously!" I said. "Angel?" But he didn't even acknowledge me. "Chris?" He was daring Angel to make a move so he could start swinging.

Thankfully, Chris' driver actually started to pay some attention to what was going on up the street, and honked his horn. It was the only thing to get them to calm down a little bit. Not by much, but enough where they didn't have their fists balled up. "Looks like your magic carpet ride is waiting on you, rich boy." Joel said.

"This isn't finished. Not by a long shot." Chris replied, squinting his eyes in Angel's direction. "You should have stayed in the gutter today, asshole. You would have been better off."

"Yeah? Well if you want to stay 'pretty', I suggest you stay out of the gutter from now on, and leave my friend alone. You get me?"

"Is that a threat?" Chris asked him.

And Angel answered, "No, it's not a threat. It's the reason I came out here."

"Can't wait." Chris said, and looked back over to me with a smirk. "Seven o'clock, Slug. Tonight. I'll be waiting. I doubt that I have to remind you what happens if you don't show." Then he hollered back at Angel, "Hey, tough guy? Did your 'friend' here tell you what we were fighting about?" I froze when he said that, and trembled at the idea of Chris exposing me right here in the middle of the street! "Why don't you ask him? I'm sure it'll make for a very 'revealing' conversation." He backed away from the both of us, heading back to his car. "Seven o'clock. Tick tock, tick tock..." He got in, and the car drove past us, turning up at the corner.

"You know...that kid is begging to be put in the fucking hospital, you know that? Next time...I'm not saying a word. I'm just gonna walk right up and knock his head off. I'm sick of playing games with that pretty little faggot!" And there it was....that word again. Indirectly causing the hateful comment to burrow deeper and deeper into my chest. And that's when he said, "What did he mean by that, anyway? What were you two fighting about?" I lowered my eyes, and just picked up my backpack to walk towards the house. "What's going on? Talk to me."

"It's nothing. No big deal. Really." I hid my face as best as I could. He can't know about me. He's not ready to know about me. And I'm not ready to lose another family over this. So I swallowed it all, hoping that the fear of being outed before my time didn't show too clearly on my face. Angel gave me a really strange look, and I just kept walking. The faster I got in that house, the better. I didn't want him to ask any questions. I didn't want him to bother with it. I just...I wanted to hide away for a while where nobody could see me. Where nobody would ever find me. I just wanted to disappear.

But I guess I can't do that...can I? Not tonight.

I've got somewhere to be...by seven o'clock...and not a minute later.


	23. Chapter 23

I walked into the house and tossed my backpack in the corner as I kicked off my shoes. Angel was marching right behind me at the time, and I tried to look everywhere that I could to avoid making eye contact. Eye contact means 'questions'. And I don't think I could really handle 'questions' right now. Unfortunately...Angel wasn't one for just leaving things alone. Finally, he stopped me and said, "So, are you gonna talk to me or what?"

"There's nothing to talk about. Chris was just being a jerk, and he's gone now. End of story." I said, and walked into my bedroom, wishing that Angel would just let it go.

"That's hardly an 'end' to anything, Jack. It's not even a beginning." He said, coming into the room with me. "What the fuck is going on with you? Tell me."

"Just leave it alone, Angel. Alright? It's no big deal."

"No big deal? What are you talking about? Do you think he's just gonna leave you alone after that? If you walk away from that he's gonna get worse than ever. It'll be open season on you all day." He said. "Look, if this guy is a problem for you, just say the word and Bobby and I will handle it. I've been anxious to mash up that fucking pretty mug of his anyway! I'll find him after school tomorrow and beat him within an inch of his fucking life!"

"It's...argh...it's not that simple, ok? You don't know what's going on."

"I'm asking you to tell me what's going on, but you won't talk to me." He said, watching me struggle with an apparent checkmate in Chris' favor. "Dude...what is it? Just tell me! Why are you backing down from this faggot?"

Why does he always have to say shit like that? Why is it that everyone who's lame, or weak, or abnormal, have to be a 'faggot'? Why does he have to call them a 'homo', or a 'queer', or a 'fudgepacker'? Can he really be that fucking homophobic? "Angel...I just need you to stay out of this, ok? I mean it. Let me handle this my way."

"Your way is stupid, Jack. I mean, no offense, but you're opening yourself up to be this guy's bitch, and you're acting like that's ok."

"That's not what this is about. You just...fuck, Angel, you don't know anything!"

"So tell me, already! Jesus! Tell me!"

I was so angry, infuriated by the fact that I was almost ready to give up the biggest secret of my life in anger. And even more frustrated by the fact that my common sense seemed to tighten its grip on my throat to the point where it silently 'choked' the words right out of me. "Fuck it. You're being an asshole." I said, ducking my head and rushing for cover like I always do.

He wasn't even phased by the insult. He just became more curious about the missing piece of the puzzle here. "So you're not gonna tell me?"

"I can't tell you, Angel!"

"Why not?" Our eyes connected for a moment, and neither one of us said a word. He was waiting for an answer, and...out of pure rage...I almost gave him one. I was SO ready! So close! I could literally feel the aggravated confession crawling up the back of my throat, strained and constricted, ready to burst. It took very last ounce of energy I had to bite my tongue, keep my lips tight, and just swallow it back down again. When I didn't say anything, Angel shook his head. "So you're just gonna sit back and take whatever this fucker dishes out to you, huh?" He said. "Alright. Fine. Go be his little bottom bitch for as long as you want to. I don't give a shit. I just thought you had bigger balls than that." He said, and walked out of my room with his hands up.

How the fuck is Angel gonna judge me when he doesn't understand what the hell is going on? Who is he to make any comments on my fucking life? Like his existence is so clean and honest! He can't even go home! He has to come here and sponge off of me and Bobby. So he should keep his mouth shut and just be happy he's not sleeping on the fucking street right now! Whatever...I'm not gonna let this bother me. I know what I'm doing. I just...I know what I'm doing.

I stayed closed up in my room...watching the seconds tick by on the wall clock. Every 'click' was a moment closer to whatever horrible punishment Chris had planned for me this time. He said 7 o'clock, and not a minute after. I'd have to take the bus, and I'd have to leave almost an hour early just to make sure that I got to my stop a bit early. That was the only way to insure that I'd make it on time. I couldn't be late. I just...I couldn't. Chris had nothing to lose at this point. After all that he had put me and Mitchie through over the past to weeks...I was almost certain that he'd up the ante without so much as a flinch.

Did I contemplate the idea of not going? Of not letting him bully me any further, and just calling his bluff once and for all? Of course I did. I thought about it. But I started shaking so bad that I thought I was gonna be sick. I mean...what if he does it? What if he 'tells' somebody? This is my whole LIFE we're talking about here. Not just my class, not just high school, not just some teasing in the halls. He threatened to tell Bobby! The one person who always believed in me, and was ever truly proud of me. He works soooo hard, to the point of exhaustion for me. To have him find out that I'm...'abnormal'...that would just be a slap in the face. It would be a betrayal to all the time he put into trying to give me all the things he never had. And I couldn't do that. I refuse.

I know that everybody says that their parents will understand. Everybody thinks that everything will eventually turn out great once they get over the initial shock. And..I guess that makes sense. I mean, I can't really see Bobby kicking me out of the house or anything drastic like that. But...

But...

...When it comes right down to actually making the decision to tell someone...it's never that easy. My faith isn't just 'shaken'...it's nonexistent. I wish I didn't feel that way. I wish I could just ignore a million sources of anti-gay 'everything' and trust in Bobby and my friends and my family to just...accept me as I am, and understand. But I can't. Deep down, I know that Angel would hate me. Bobby and mom would be disappointed in me. My classmates would laugh at me...once they got through beating me up. Chris has the ability to crush my whole social identity with just a few whispered words in the right direction...and he knows it. So what other choice do I have?

I just hope there's enough love for me left in his heart somewhere to give me a break.

Tick tock, tick tock...it was maddening. I was tapping my foot at the desk in my bedroom. I attempted to do some homework to get my mind off of things, but couldn't stop tapping my pen on the desktop long enough to write anything down. Not that I could concentrate. I tried to stop watching the clock, but I was so scared of losing track of the time, that my eyes flittered over to the numbers every few seconds. My breath was getting shorter by the minute, my chest constricting until I could hardly get any oxygen in at all. And when 6 o'clock rolled around, I couldn't sit still any more.

I got up and began to pace back and forth. This was the moment of truth. If I was gonna go, I was going to have to leave now. I couldn't miss that first bus. If I did, the next one would get me there late. I had to go. Had to go. Had to go!

I was nearly shaking myself to the point of tears, my fingers fumbling helplessly with my shoelaces as I tried to get ready to go. I checked my pockets five times to make sure I had keys and bus money. Everything was together, everything was ready to go. And yet, it took me another minute or two before I could actually get my feet to move towards my bedroom door.

I heard Angel watching TV in the living room, and when he heard me enter the room, he looked back at me over the back of the couch. Our eyes connected, and despite our recent argument...he was still slightly concerned. He put the TV on mute and asked me, "Jack...dude...do you want me to come with you, or what? Just SAY it, and I'm there. You know I am."

It was one time that I wish I could have depended on his help. It really was. But instead...I shook my head slowly. "I'll handle it." I said, barely convincing myself, much less Angel.

He sighed to himself, then turned the volume back up on the TV, not offering any more help. So I opened the front door...and I headed out towards whatever lie waiting for me on Chris' doorstep.

The walk to the bus stop was stressful. The five minute wait for the bus to actually arrive was nerve-wracking. And the trip out to Chris' house...well let's just say that it was a miracle that I hadn't bitten my nails down to the skin by the time I got there.

The place loomed over me as I walked up to his front door. The sun was setting behind it, and the house cast an unimaginably dark shadow on me as I got closer to the front steps. I was shivering like I was cold, so tempted to turn tails and run. But I kept going. And after taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, raised a shaky arm...and rang the doorbell.

It took a minute or two before I heard footsteps approaching the door. Ok...this is it. You can do this Jack. Just...look him in the eye, and get through this the best you can.

I heard a lock click, and then the door opened up. Chris was standing there in front of me, in nothing but sweatpants and a t-shirt. I don't think I had ever seen him look so....'casual' before. He had a somewhat glazed look in his eye, and I noticed that he had a drink in his hand. A 'short glass', as Bobby would put it. "Well, well, well...look who's here. I wish I could say that I was surprised, but let's be honest..you really didn't have much of a choice now, did you?"

"Yeah...well...I'm here. So...now what?" I asked, trying not to look scared out of my wits.

"Come in. Make yourself comfortable." He said, stepping aside as I entered his house. It was hardly the luxurious palace of gold that I expected from the way he seemed to look down on me and my 'shabby' house all the time. Still, it was nicer than anything I'd ever have. And while Mitchie's house was definitely bigger, it looked like Chris' dad spent some major dough on the stuff inside. Chris closed the door behind me, and then he turned to look me up and down. "Gee, all this time I've been practically begging you to come over and spend some time with me...and all I had to do was bait you with a life altering threat"

"Don't make a game out of this, ok?" I said. "What do you want?"

"I want you to relax." He said, a sneer lacing his voice. "You want a drink?"

"No."

"Aww, come on. I'm sure you want a little something. A little sip to loosen you up a bit?" He said, taking a swig of his own drink. "Don't worry. My dad won't even miss it. He doesn't even notice the bottle levels of alcohol in this house any more. He's never here. So I figure I'm entitled." Chris smiled at me. "And my guests are entitled. If they want it."

It was a building humiliation. I could feel it. Chris was reveling in the fact that he had me locked in an inescapable checkmate, and it showed in the particularly wicked tilt of his grin. "No thank you." I said quietly, wishing he would just get this over with.

"Suit yourself." He drank some more, and he was obviously intoxicated. Not 'drunk', but not sober either. "Why don't we go down into the basement for a while? Play some music?"

"I can't...stay long..."

"You'll stay for as long as I tell you to stay. Trust me...you've got nowhere to go. Come on. I'll show you the basement. I think you'll like it." He walked over to open a door, with a flight of steps leading downward. "Come on...don't just stand there." He coaxed me, and I felt my shoulders fall as I dutifully obeyed his command.

The basement was fully furnished, with dark brown wooden paneled walls, a full bar, a pool table, and a television big enough to see from space! I couldn't help but marvel at the look of it, wondering what it would be like to just...have this awesome 'space' right underneath my house. A place that I could go to whenever I wanted to. Jesus, I wish me and Bobby could have shit like this.

Chris walked behind the bar, and tilted his glass back until there was nothing left but a few wet cubes of ice. He promptly grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels, some Cherry Coke, and a second glass...filling them up. "Sit down anywhere." He said. He used a remote behind the bar to turn of the TV, and started some background music for us as he mixed the drinks. "Here we go. One for you, one for me." He walked around to hand me the drink, but I didn't want it. "Jack...who's party is this? It's MY party, right?" He asked, and he held the glass up for me to take...which I did so, reluctantly. "Alright then." He smiled, and raised his glass for a toast. "To us. And to Jack finally finding the 'courage' to come over and enjoy my company for a little while." He clinked the glasses, and took a healthy sip. He saw that I wasn't drinking, and gently used his fingers to raise the glass to my lips. "Come on now, it's not a proper toast if you don't drink." I took in some of the liquid, and it tasted awful! It stung and it burned and I had a hard time swallowing it. I coughed a bit and it made Chris chuckle with delight. "Thatta boy. Don't worry, you'll get used to it. I did." I watched as he walked over to the wall, and dimmed the lights a little bit, changing the music with the remote to something a bit slower. He smiled at me, slightly swaying from one foot to the other. The he said, "You know...despite the fact that I hate you and all...you're still awfully pretty to look at. You know that?"

"Chris..."

"Please don't talk. Alright? Spare me the senseless ramblings and just...relax."

"I don't know..what you're trying to do. But...I meant what I said before. Ok?"

"You meant what you said before?" He asked. "You mean, the part where you said you didn't mean to break my fucking heart in half? Or what you said earlier today...about me being the furthest thing from your mind when you're with...him?" His gaze dropped to the floor for a moment, his smile fading slowly...but it only lasted a moment. He quickly looked back up and took another sip of his drink, returning a healthy smirk to his lips.

"I didn't mean...you just pissed me off, ok?"

"I'm sure I did." He said, and he came closer to take me by the hand. "Come on. Dance with me for a second."

"Jesus, Chris. What are you doing?"

"I'm spending time with my favorite blond haired sweetheart." He said, pulling me closer while I gently resisted. "I'm finally getting a fair shot here. That's all I ever wanted, Jack...the chance to show you who I am. And what I had to offer you." He swayed with me for a moment, with moving as little as possible, looking for an opportunity to snatch my free hand back from his grip. "But you were always too 'busy'....running off to Mitchie's house for smooches, weren't you?" His smile was so...wicked at that moment. I don't think I had ever seen him like this before. "So what do you two do...when you're together? All alone."

"Chris, why are you even..."

"What? We're talking. I'm making conversation. You and me...we never get to just talk any more."

"Maybe I've been too busy making up work that I miss out on while sitting in detention." I replied.

He laughed a bit to himself. "I can make that go away, you know? For both of you. It's getting tiresome anyway. I kinda like seeing you in the halls every once in a while. Or maybe in a pair of skimpy gym shorts? Hehehe..."

"This isn't funny."

"Geez, smile a little bit, will ya? You're so uptight. I just want to share the same space with you for a little while, that's all. Loosen up." He told me. "Drink. Have another gulp or two, it'll help." I didn't even look him in the eye, and he seemed to sigh a bit in frustration. "I'm not trying to fucking hurt you, Jack! Ok? Why can't you just...ugh...I'm trying to tell you that things don't have to be like this between us. That's why I asked you to come over here."

"You forced me to come over here." I said defiantly, this time staring right into his eyes as I saw him getting increasingly angry.

But he did his best to swallow the emotion, pretending to be unaffected by my comment. He quickly changed the subject as he tried to get me into slowly dancing with him. I refused. "So, my father is opening another restaurant in Seattle this weekend. His plane left a few hours ago, which means that we've got the whole weekend to party, if you want to stay."

"I don't." I said quietly.

"You're not enjoying yourself, are you?" He said with a raised eyebrow.

I gave him a harsh look and said, "Whatever it is that you think you're doing...it's pointless. So why don't you just let me go home?"

His smile dimmed considerably. "You're acting like I put a gun to your head to get you over here."

"You practically did."

"Nobody 'dragged' you here. I gave you a choice."

"Which was barely any choice at all..."

"Well, that's what happens when keep secrets, Jack." He said, pain creeping into his tone. "That's what happens when you play with somebody else's emotions."

"I was not playing with your emotions! And if you hadn't threatened me, I wouldn't be here right now."

"And yet, you're convinced that your fucked up attitude has somehow given you the upper hand in this situation?" He sneered. "I'm still holding all the cards here, so I suggest you watch how you fucking talk to me, Slug!" He then softened his voice, "I mean...Jack." He let go of my hand, and moved forward to let his hand rest on my hip. His touch disgusted me. And I was almost angry enough to smash him in the face with my fist and storm out of there. But...he was still in control for the time being. So I attempted to keep still. "You know...I used to dream about this." He said, with a dreamy smile. "I always pictured that...I'd get you something nice, a gift or a nice dinner...and you'd be so overwhelmed by the gesture that you'd come over. We'd...talk for a while...I'd drink a little bit..." He took a sip. "...You'd drink a little bit..." He gently lifted my glass to my lips, and I took another tiny sip, but barely enough to even taste "...And I'd put on some music, just so we could...enjoy the moment, you know?" He let his hand slip further down on my hip, and he pulled me closer. "I figured that you'd resist a little bit...you being...straight and all." He grinned sarcastically. "But then, we'd be so close, and so into the moment...that you'd let that whole gay, straight, garbage go and just...sigh...you'd just think about it. You'd think about what it would be like to kiss another boy. And what it would be like to hold one in your arms, and have him touch you, and gently kiss the inside of your thighs, and lick you for hours on end. I mean, who would turn down hot passionate sex for something as trivial as your partner being the wrong sex, right?" He looked me in the eyes. Deep. So deep. "But...that little fantasy isn't so farfetched now, is it? In fact, you might actually be into it."

"No, Chris...I wouldn't." I said, and a flash of aggravation flashed on his face.

"Can we just...put ourselves in the moment here? Huh? I mean...you're so busy thinking about getting out of here that you can't even appreciate what I'm trying to do for you here. Just enjoy it, ok?" He told me, but I couldn't. I just wanted to go home. "You know, that night at Mitchie's party...hehe...I was so in love that I could hardly breathe while I was in the same room with you. You were such a brat, and I kinda liked that. I tried so hard to forget about you, but...every few minutes, I felt like I just had to see you again. So I'd go looking for you, and you'd give me that adorable roll of your eyes like always. I gave you a lot of friction, but you gave it right back to me. And that excited me. It felt like we were just...a perfect fit, you know?" The song on the cd player changed, but he changed it back to the slow song, and put it on repeat. "You totally freaked me out in the limo when you started being nice to me though. That...that was a smart move. I felt like my guts were turning inside out, and if I hadn't kissed you when I did, I probably wouldn't have survived until the next morning. Ever since that night...every breath I've taken has been held for the moment when I get to truly tell you that I love you." He leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "I love you, Jack."

"I love Mitchie." I said, trembling inside as I made a lame attempt to make a stand.

Chris gritted his teeth. "Stop thinking about him. You're with me now."

"No, Chris...I'm not."

"Tell me you love me."

"I love Mitchie."

Chris got even angrier. "Don't TEST me! I'm trying to be a better person. I'm doing all of this, going out of my way, to tell you how I feel. I'm doing this for you. For us."

"You're doing this for yourself, Chris. And if you cared about me at all...you'd let me go." I said. He fell silent. "Chris, please...let me go."

He took three big swallows of his drink as he took his hand off of my hip and walked over to the cd player. "We should change the music. This one isn't right. I've got more. Just give me a second."

"It's not...it's not the music, Chris. It's..."

"No wait, seriously...I'll find something better. Just hold on"

I sighed, wishing that he could just take the fucking hint and get it through his head that I'm not going to suddenly fall in love with him over liquor, conversation, and a little music.

He found another slow song, and came back over to drape both of his arms over my shoulders, his drink loosely held in his right hand. He started swaying gently again, as though we were at some mushy 8th grade dance or something, and he tried to inspire a smile out of me with one of his own. "Isn't this better? This song is much better than the last one."

"I told you, it's not about the..."

"This is nice. Being here with you." He told me. "You smell good. You always smell good. You know...I almost can't believe that you're here. Call me crazy, but none of this even seems real right now." I looked away from him. He wasn't going to listen. "You never answered my question, you know?"

"Sighhh...about what?"

"About you and Mitchie. What does he do for you that you think is so impossible for me to match? Huh?" I didn't even dignify that with an answer. "Does he kiss you every day and tell you he loves you? I can do that. Does he buy you nice things? Ride you around town? Whisper sweet nothings in your ear at the movies? I can do that too." He said, trying to look me in the eyes while I worked to avoid his stare. "Is he a hot fuck? Is that it? I know Tanner's cute...he's fucking gorgeous, so I don't blame you. But if you're looking for some hot loving, I'll worship every inch of you day and night until you beg me to stop. I'd suck you to sleep every night just so I could have the pleasure of sucking you awake again the next morning. Tell me what you want. Quit playing with my heart and just...just give me the chance I need to make you happy, Jack."

Chris stepped a little closer to me in our embrace, and I put my hands on his hips to sort of keep him back. But somehow, I think he took it as a sign of affection.

"When are you going to learn to keep those bangs out of those pretty eyes of yours, Jack?" He reached up to brush them away, and he leaned in to kiss me as I jerked back from him. I turned my head to avoid his searching lips, and he ended up kissing me on the cheek instead. He kissed me again and again, his lips moving closer to my mouth until I even eventually pushed him off of me. "What?" He snarled through gritted teeth. "What is it with you? Huh? I mean, what the fuck do I have to do to get some fucking attention from you? Huh?" His voice was so angry. So painful. It was intimidating, to say the least. But more than anything...I just wanted him to stop hurting so much over this. I really hated to see him so dead inside. "What do you want from me?" He got fed up, and I saw him angrily throw his glass of alcohol against the wall, shattering it into a million pieces. "Answer me!"

"You can't just force me to love you, Chris. You just...you just can't." I said quietly, as tears built up in both of our eyes.

"You wanna know something? I was willing to fucking forget everything, if you would just give me a chance! I was gonna call the dogs off and let things go back to the way they were. But you won't let me! You won't play fair!"

"I don't want this to hurt as much as it does, Chris. I care about you, but..."

"No! Don't you stand there and tell me you care about me! You don't care about me! That's a fucking slap in the face every time you say that!"

"You know that's not true, Chris! I'm trying so hard not to hurt you more than I already have! But this? Chris...I can't do this!"

"You can't do this for me, you mean! But you sure as hell can do it for Mitchie though, can't you? You've got no problem being his bitch, but you're too good to be mine, is that it?"

"I can't believe you made me come over here for this. I'm going home. I'm sorry." I said, and I put down my drink and walked towards the steps.

"You're not going anywhere until I tell you to go! You hear me?" He shouted, but I only gave him a momentary look of pity before I started walking again. "Stop! Ok then...fuck it!" He reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. "555-7098..." He said. "...That's the number to your brothers, isn't it? I can double check if I have to."

"Fuck you, Chris! Why are you trying so hard to HURT me?" I screamed.

"You KNOW why!"

"No, I don't! I don't have any fucking clue at all! I understand that I fucked up, and you got hurt! But, JESUS, Chris...haven't you had enough of punishing me for what happened yet???"

"It's not about punishing you, Jack..."

"Well what IS it then?"

And that's when Chris shouted, "I am going to do whatever it fucking takes to not lose you! Do you understand? I will burn this whole fucking world down to keep you close!!! Even if it means fucking your life up so bad that I'm all you've got left to come back to!" Tears began to drip from his eyes, but he was too angry to pay them any attention. "I've invested...all that I have...all that I am..in the possibility of you feeling what I feel. And I can't just go back to looking at you from across the room anymore. I just....I can't. I won't. I won't lose you." He began to sniffle, and through my rage...I think I began to understand what all this was about. "Is that what you wanted to hear? huh? Are you happy?"

I saw him step back from me a bit, almost as if in a drunken stagger. But looking closer, it was more of a momentary emotional collapse. One that he struggled to recover from before I could notice it too clearly. He leaned back against the bar, and reached back behind him to grab the bottle of whiskey closest to him. This time, there was no glass involved. He just swigged it straight from the bottle. "You're...you're not gonna 'lose' me, Chris. Not if you don't want to." I said softly, hoping I would be able to reason with him a bit through his haze of intoxication. But my attempts only seemed to make him more stubborn. More determined than ever to not be the weak one in all this.

"Don't give me that bullshit! Fuck you!" He shouted. He stomped his way over to me, grabbing me by the back of the neck, and tried to kiss me on the lips. I pushed my hands out, keeping him away from me, and we struggled for a moment while he tried to make contact. Then he let go. "Fine! You wanna play it that way, we'll play it that way!" He marched up the stairs and locked the door, coming back down to push me into the center of the room. His face was twisted up into such a look of utter rage, but warm tears stained his cheeks in thin rivers...revealing more pain and desperation than hostility. It was then that he sat down at the bar, and said, quite simply..."Strip."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My mind wouldn't allow me to process it a first. But as I saw Chris grab himself another glass, and fill it up until it spilled over the sides, wave of fear washed over me instantly, causing me to tremble visibly in front of him. "Wha..wh-what?"

"You heard me." He took a sip of his drink, spilling some of it down the front of his chin. And then he looked up at me as I stood frozen in my tracks. "What are you waiting for, Slug? I said strip!"

"No..." I said, my bottom lip quivering as I took a step towards the stairs.

"I you're thinking about running out of here...go for it. I don't care." He said. "But I guarantee you, come Monday morning...your whole life as you know it is going to be over. No more games. No more secrets. Trust me...if you think high school was hard before, you ain't seen nothing yet." That's when he added something that hurt me even more. "And that goes for Mitchie too. I'm pretty sure his family isn't going to take too kindly to having yet 'another' abnormality in their perfect little family. Not after his cousin Kelley. I'm pretty sure that he's gonna get the worst of it in the end. Would you really want that to be all your fault? Hmm?"

"You son of a bitch..." I sobbed, but he seemed unphased. "I'm not doing it!"

"I can wait all night. Take your time. I've been waiting a long time to see what it's like to admire your body without having to take little peeks at you in the gym locker room. Not that I didn't get my fair share of eye candy...being so close to you and all." He smiled as he stood up from the barstool, and stumbled a second before steadying himself. "If you taste even half as good as you look...I might just make you stay overnight."

I sniffled, feeling a tear run down my cheek. "Chris...."

"Sh...save it for later. Right now, I just want you to strip. Start with your shirt." He stepped closer, a bit of a growing bulge in his sweatpants. "C'mon...how bad could it be? You give me a little of what I want, and you get to go home, wash it off in the shower, and if you're lucky, I might just let you scurry back to your little secret in peace. That's fair, isn't it? Hmmm?"

"None of this...is going to mean anything. So why even do it? Why don't you just let me go home?"

"No...see that's where you're wrong. This is going to mean a lot. To me, anyway. You've been smiling in my face, and giggling, and hugging, and being adorable for a long time now. All I'm asking is that you make good on your temptations. That's all. Who knows? You might even enjoy it."

"You have no idea what telling people about me is going to do to me. Or to my life. Or to Mitchie's life...please! Just stop this right now!"

"You're not stripping, Jack.."

"I'm NOT gonna strip for you!" I said louder, but Chris just walked behind me with a smirk. I felt my whole body tighten up as he wrapped his arms around me. "No...stop it!"

"Shhhhh..you know you're not gonna leave. And you know you're not going to talk me out of this either. So why waste the tears, huh? Just relax...and let me make you feel good, ok?" Chris slowly slid his hands under my shirt, and my skin began to crawl as he rubbed softly over the surface of my stomach. He affectionately rested his chin on my shoulder, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he whispered in my ear. "Now isn't this nice. Two old friends, getting to know each other a little bit better than before. This has been a long time coming, you know? It was going to happen eventually. I mean...I was telling you the truth when I said that I wanted you. I've had feelings for you ever since I first learned your name. Heh..it used to give me chills just to say it. 'Slug' seemed to be a bit easier for me."

I felt his lips kiss my cheek softly, and he sighed from the contact. I don't know if it was the fear of what was happening, or if a part of me was aroused' by any of this, but I felt myself very slowly beginning to harden against my control. I closed my eyes and wished for it to go away, but Chris' slow moving circles on my skin only made it worse.

He sucked my earlobe into his mouth for a second, and said, "Why don't we get this shirt off? Lift your arms up." He tried to pull my shirt up, but I kept my arms down at my sides defiantly, more tears running out of my eyes. Chris gnashed his teeth, and gave me a harsh pinch on my side. "I said lift your arms!" I lowered my head, but did as he said. I raised both arms, and Chris marveled as he lifted the fabric over my head and left me standing there shirtless in the middle of his basement. It was as if he had fallen in love all over again. "My God, you're beautiful." He whispered, running his hands over my soft shoulders and down the length of my arms. He moved closer to kiss the nape of my neck, and then wrapped his arms around my flat stomach again, pulling me tight up against him.

"Chris....? What about your Dad?" I whimpered, hoping that it would somehow keep this from going any further. It was a lame attempt, I know...but...I had to do something besides just stand there.

"Let's not talk about him right now, ok, honey?" He moaned, kissing my collarbone lovingly.

"No...I mean...what if he comes home?"

"He's not coming home."

"How do you know?"

"Because..." He said angrily, but then tried to hold back from shouting. "...I just know. Ok? He's not coming home. He never comes home. He never stays home. He never is home. Alright? So just...don't spoil this for me."

Keep pressing that nerve, Jack. Maybe he'll forget all about this and send me home. "Maybe he'll come back early. Maybe he'll catch you down here with me, and you'll be in big trouble...kissing a boy in the basement."

"He's NOT coming back early, and we're going to do a lot more than kiss down here. Believe me." Chris reached for my belt and began to undo it as he kissed me behind the ear and started to push his hips into me. I could feel him...hard and pulsing, pushing into my ass again and again through our pants. He was already breathing hard, almost panting, and he was just so hungry to finally get a real taste of me at last. "Jesus, Jack....mmmmm...."

"I'm just saying...it would be hard to explain, you know...if he walked in...and..." Chris suddenly let go of me, and I felt a harsh shove from behind, almost knocking me flat on my face.

"What the fuck did I just say?" He screamed. "I know what you're doing, and it's fucking pathetic! Things were just starting to get interesting, and you had to go and screw it all up!"

"I'm...I'm not trying to screw things up, Chris, I just thought..."

"No, shut up!" He growled. "Very cute. Very clever. You want to get my mind all twisted around something else so I'll leave you alone, right? Huh?" He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back to where I was standing before. "Well it's not gonna work, you hear me? You're wasting your time. Now take off the rest of your clothes. Everything! Pants, shoes, socks, boxers, every last shred! Now!" He walked in a slow circle around me as I very timidly reached to finish undoing my belt buckle. "Slow around all you want, I've got all night. And you're not going anywhere until I'm finished 'using' you to feel good the way you used me to feel good."

Was I seriously doing this? Was any of this worth it? When I thought about it all, it seemed to be completely illogical that I would allow Chris to practically rape me against my will. But...it wasn't really against my will, was it? Chris was giving me a very clear and open choice. All I had to do was let go of the secret. All I had to do was tell the truth, and come clean about who I really am, to everyone I care about. In the end, the ones I care about and who care about me are the only ones who matter, right? It should be an easy decision. It should be a choice that requires no hesitation at all.

And if that's so...then why am I still undoing my pants? Why am I lowering the zipper? Even through tears, I stood there trembling helplessly as I began to shimmy my way out of my pants...letting them puddle at my feet. I stopped, standing in my boxers, a fear induced tent jutting out in front of me.

Chris waited a moment, and then with an evil smirk, he said, "Keep going. Don't stop now, we're just getting to the good parts."

"Chris...I'm begging you...please don't make me do this?" I sniffled.

"Oh? Now you want to talk? You want to 'bond'? We can talk. You know how I just live for your conversation, cutie pie." He walked around me and placed the palms of both hands on my ass. "Mmmmm...this feels soooo much better when you don't have any pants on." He gave my cheeks a squeeze, and then continued. "So....while we wait for you to finish your little 'striptease' here..what should we talk about? Hmm?" He snapped his fingers and said, "I know. Since you brought up the subject of Dad's...where's yours, huh?"

"What?"

"Well, I mean...Bobby is obviously your only guardian but he's not your real family. No signs of a father figure in your house anywhere. So...where is he and your mom for that fact?"

"I'll do what you want, Chris. There's no need to be mean."

"Mean? Me? Oh come on now...you got to ask me. Now, I'm asking you." I didn't speak, but as old thoughts and emotions flooded my mind, the warm tears began to pour out of my eyes with a vengeance, and I couldn't hold them back anymore. I held my breath, trying my best to hold it in...but the truth is...those memories always made me weak inside. Too weak to stand, too weak to fight, too weak to even speak. Chris was standing behind me, leaning against the wall, and when he didn't hear an answer from me, he said, "It's either talk about your dear old family...oh it's back to the strip show. I'm anxious for either one."

I closed my eyes, wishing this would al go away. "......Chris...." I said, barely above a whisper.

"So where are they? Did they really just ditch you? Were you some late night 'accident' between a waitress and a customer who was hungry for more than a slice of cherry pie at the diner?" He was pushing every button he could, hoping to humiliate and hurt me as much as possible before taking me, body and soul. And I just....stood there! "Did they get married? Did he walk out on your mom before you were born? After you were born? Did she figure you weren't worth it? What happened? Where are they now? Huh?" Chris grabbed the back of my shoulders, and kissed the back of my neck, enjoying his petty tortures. "Huh? Where is Jack the Destitute's deadbeat dad these days?"

"He's dead." The words had escaped my lips so softly, so silently, that I didn't even realize that I had said them until I felt Chris' grip loosen ever so slightly on my shoulders. There was a long pause, an eternal moment of silence, and my throat burned with the involuntary confession. I don't know if it was anger, or disgust, but I went further. I never talk about my father, to anyone...but since he wanted to open the floodgates, here it is. "Him and my real brother, all gone. They didn't ditch me they died because of me, I turn out to be some fag whore and they get killed."

Chris was quiet for a moment, his smile all but gone from his face. And he said, "Derrick...I didn't know that..he...."

"No...you DIDN'T know, did you?" I snarled, turning around to look him in the face "You never took the time to know anything about me. Ever. You don't know what it was like to see your own family die in your dreams every night. Or what it's like to worry that every time you get close to someone they'll die too. And you'll never know what it's like to hear that you have to live with someone who rapes you. And you will never have to live in a foster home, or be handed of to some guy who just there to fuck you up!" The more I spoke, the more tears came rolling out in buckets, but I clenched my fists, and I stared him right in the eyes until he was almost pressed into the paneling of the wall. "But I can tell you one thing...Bobby saved me and he takes care of me. He made a promise that I would have the best of everything someday. That I don't have to have sex with people. And I don't have to be afraid anymore. That no one is ever gonna hurt me like that again!" I shouted. "So....yeah. Bobby works his ASS off...almost very day to the point of exhaustion...JUST so he can keep me here, and maybe buy me some new clothes every once in a while, or take us out for pizza just once a month! I watch him ache and moan and pass out in front of the TV every night, and drive a piece of shit car back and forth to work, and hide his sad eyes from me every time an unpaid bill comes in the mail. Just so I can exist in the same fucking building with him so I don't spiral down into a world of drugs. Well, I worked my fingers to the BONE to prove that I'm worthy of being here! And I'm not gonna let a single one of you assholes break me! Because I'm not DOING it for you! I'm not even doing it for ME any more! It's because Bobby gave everything he had to give me a fighting chance in a world that doesn't care about what's in a person's heart, as long as what's in his wallet exceeds it. And I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take whatever I can get. And one day I'll be bigger than all of you! One day, Bobby is going to be able to take the whole fucking summer off and never leave the comfort of his living room couch! And one day, I'm gonna buy family an actual tombstone...instead of trying to find some tiny little bronze plaque in the ground." With that said, I took a good look at what I was doing, and I made my choice.

I pulled up my pants, and started fastening them up as fast as I could, my hands shaking. Chris said, "Hey...wait...what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm leaving."

"Jack...don't go Ok? Forget what I said, just...stay for a while."

"Fuck you. I'm not doing this. Find yourself a pillow to hump."

Chris saw me pick up my shirt and slip it back over my head. He said, "Fine. But you know what happens when you leave."

But it had no effect. Not this time. "Do what you want. I don't care any more. Tell the whole school. Tell the whole fucking world, I'm gay! Just don't expect me to ever talk to you again, because I'm not. You really crossed the line this time. So...I just hope all this was worth it."

Impact. My words...my actions...they had finally done some damage. And I saw a few tears drip out of Chris' eyes as I headed towards the stairs. "Jack..." He sobbed softly, "All I ever wanted was a fair chance. All I ever wanted was for you to want me back."

I saw him standing there, slumped against that wall, and even after all he had done to us...my heart still went out to him. I guess you could say that I've been where he is now. I told him, "I know. But I'm just not yours to have." I had to leave, and I knew that I was taking a chance on ruining the rest of my life by not giving into Chris' demands...but this had already gone way beyond what it should have been. I started walking up the steps, but made sure to look back to say, "I'm sorry if you got hurt, Chris. I really am. I meant every word I said when I told you that I care about you. And I always will, no matter what." The words only made his tears worse, and he tried to wipe them away, to no avail. "I hope you get your heart back. And I hope you give it to someone special someday. They're really gonna be blown away by you...I guarantee it." Then I told him, "Goodbye Chris."

The finality in that moment seemed to make us both rather emotional over the situation, but if I didn't start walking away now, I doubt I'd be able to. Not with him being left so....devastated. But I didn't look back, and I didn't pay attention to his sniffling either. I simply unlocked the basement door...found my way to the front of his house...and left.

It had gotten considerably dark outside, and I swear that my walk from his doorstep back to the bus stop was one of the longest in history. But you want to know something strange? The further away I got from his house...the more 'freedom' I felt inside. What if he does get on the phone and tell everybody? What if he does show up at Bobby's job and blab to him and his co-workers? What if I go to school on Monday, and I've got the word 'fag' spray painted on my locker, and I'm getting spit on in the halls? They were questions that I had asked myself a million times before...

...But for the first time, I thought..."So what?"

If anything, I'd be liberated out of this fucked up emotional 'prison' that I had been building for myself ever since my first hormone self activated and started searching for another boy to kiss on the cheek. What if he told...and Mitchie and I could finally walk down the high school corridors hand in hand? What if I could kiss him in the halls, or in the lunch cafeteria, just because I felt the urge and wanted to express my love for him at that particular moment? What if Bobby was ok with it, and understood...supporting that part of me like he's supported every part of me so far? As I walked back to that bus stop, the night air surrounding me with its cool grasp...I began asking myself a entirely different set of questions for the first time in my life. And at that moment, I was almost hoping that he'd go through with it. I was almost hoping that Chris would set me free.

I got on the bus and traveled home, my mind lost in a daze, but not the miserable fog of confusion that one would expect from being blackmailed, threatened, and exposed. No...this was different. And it might be wishful thinking at this point...but I think everything is going to be ok.

I really think everything is going to be ok.


	24. Chapter 24

There's a jittery, nervous, tremble involved in the waiting. This intense level of anticipation in not knowing exactly how your life is going to turn the second your biggest secret is revealed to the world around you. It's not so much the exposure, but the inevitable aftermath to follow it. You try to be optimistic about it all, but the truth is...you don't know what to expect once the shit hits the fan. I don't get it, this felt like such a liberating opportunity last night....what happened?

I've never faced anything this 'damaging' before. And because of that, I have no idea whether or not I'll be able to deal with the repercussions of it. I tossed and turned in my bed that night, unable to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time for fear that my dreams would entertain the worst of my fears and anxieties about having Chris tell everyone that I was gay. Despite our connection....he really didn't have anything to lose now. And me? I could lose everything. And so could Mitchie. I might have ruined both of our lives tonight. And that alone made me ache with so much guilt, doubt, and utter panic, that I was forced to curl up into a tight ball and 'take it'.

Having people know might set me free...but not without a lot of growing pains. The life I've been living up to this point...would be over. And I just don't know how to start all over again from scratch. Nor do I know how I could be cruel enough to ask Mitchie to do the same.

I heard the front door open, and knew that Bobby was coming home late from work again. From the stifled grunts that I heard coming from the living room as he took off his shoes, I take it that his shift was more brutal than usual. There was some rustling in the kitchen, where he probably brought home something for me to snack on tomorrow for lunch...and then I heard his footsteps approaching my bedroom door. I instantly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep as I heard the door open slowly. No matter how exhausted he was, or how late he came home, he always made it a point to come in and check on me. I never really understood why. Was it to make sure that I was alright? Or...to make sure that I was in the house? Who knows? All I knew was that he would open my door, stare at me for a few seconds, and close it back, before he got off of his feet for the night. It was a strange activity as far as I was concerned...but somewhat comforting at the same time

I heard the TV come on in the living room, and it sounded like he opened up a bag of potato chips. He works so hard sometimes. I just wish he didn't have to work so hard. I don't know what made me do it, or what sudden desire I had to be close to him, but I put on a t-shirt and some pajama bottoms...and went out to join him.

He looked up at me as I walked into the room and said, "Hey, Jackie. What are you still doing up?" I leaned over the back of the sofa and gave him a kiss on the cheek, before hugging him around the neck and resting my chin on his shoulder.

"I dunno...I couldn't sleep."

He smiled to himself. "uh-huh...you heard me open the bag of chips, didn't ya?"

"Hehehe, yeah. Maybe that's part of it too." I grinned.

"Yeah, well...there should be some spinach dip left in the fridge if you wanna share."

"Awesome." I went to the kitchen and fished around for the small tub of dip, and came back to sit on the couch next to her. I put my feet up under me and snuggled up close, resting my head on his shoulder as he was forced to put an arm around me.

"Hehehe, you're an affectionate one tonight." He tenderly kissed the top of my head and rubbed his fingers through my hair a few times. "You ok?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"No reason. Just making sure. You teenagers go from, 'hold me' to 'please don't embarrass me' so fast, I never know what to expect."

"I never said you embarrassed you me..." I giggled.

"Sometimes you don't have to, your face says it all." He smiled. "Here, eat. Try not to get any crumbs on the couch."

We shared a few crunches, the ice cold dip giving every bite some extra flavor. It just felt so good, being close like this. God knows how much longer I'm going to be able to stuff like this with him. Or...if he'll even be comfortable doing this once he...finds out about me.

"So where's your partner in crime? I thought you and Angel were enjoying being inseparable?" he asked me, and I sighed.

"He's probably still mad at me. We haven't been getting along so great the past few days." I told her.

"Ahh, I see." he had another chip, and rubbed my head some more. It was so soothing the way he did it. "Well, you know, they say there's no greater test for any friendship than sharing the same living space. I'm sure you guys will work it out though."

"Right." I ate some more, and looked ahead at the TV to see what he was watching. "What is this?"

"I'm pretty sure it's 'Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers'."

"Why is it in black and white?"

"It's a black and white movie. They did make those at one time, you know?"

"No, I mean, I saw the old one before. Isn't that one guy in it? You know, Kiefer Sutherland's dad?"

"That was the 70's version. This is the original." he told me.

"There's an even older one? Oh my god!" I felt a swat on the top of my head as he grinned at me.

"Everything looks 'old' to a fourteen year old, I'm sure. But I'll have you know that this is considered a 'classic'. Something they don't really make any more."

"The Matrix...is a classic." I said, correcting him.

"Haha, that's your answer for everything. Fine, I'll give you that one." He hugged me close again, and just being there seemed to alleviate so much stress. There's nothing like a loving embrace to give you peace of mind.

"Why do they keep remaking it all the time? Isn't it the same movie?" I asked, scooping up some more dip onto another chip.

"Well...the theme is always relevant. No matter what generation it is. I mean, you get everyone to look the same, act the same, dress the same, think the same...you'd think it would be paradise. Nice little robots who live well and never cause trouble. But that's just not the way the world works." He said. "Sometimes, it's a good thing to be a little different. Sometimes you've just got to be yourself, and trust that it's good enough for people to accept you as you are. Even when people desperately want you to be someone else." He said. "Something about that story appeals to a part of everybody, I think." He ate some more, and...with a slight hesitation, I reached up and kissed him on the cheek again, giving her a rather emotional squeeze. "Alright, that's twp kisses and a hug in the same night. Who are you, and what have you done with Jack?"

"I'm fine. You just...said the right thing at the right time. That's all." I smiled, and cuddled back up to him again as he shook off the confusion of my statement and watched the movie with me.

Once we finished off the dip, which didn't take long, as half of it was already gone when we started, he rolled up the bag of chips and set it down on the side of the sofa. And five minutes later, he started to nod. I know he wanted to watch the whole movie with me, but he couldn't keep his eyes open. Not even for a few seconds. Occasionally, I'd slightly change my position, and from his half conscious state, his hand would move up to my hair again and tussle it gently as he held me close to his side. And then, his breathing would deepen, and he'd drift right back off to sleep again.

This is what I'm going to miss. This is one of the many things that's going to change when I tell him the truth. It's not like I think that things will be bad when he finds out I'm gay...just....different. Different enough that when I go to hug him...I'm going to feel the subtle contrast between that and the way he hugs me now. And I'm going to really long for the kind of hugs he gives me now. Where will they go? How will they change? Will they be worse? More remote? More alien? Will he hold me for as long as he does now? Or will our loving hugs turn into some kind of obligated display of fake affection? Something we do to keep up the appearance that everything is the same as it used to be? Sometimes...it's questions like this that make me wish I could stay hidden in the closet forever. God, it would be so much easier if it didn't matter.

I waited until the movie was over, pretending that I didn't even notice that Bobby had slept through 90% of it. And he yawned while telling me to go to bed and get some rest. He went to bed right after me, and despite all of that turbulent anxiety that was keeping me awake before...being next to him on that couch gave me enough comfort to drift off as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was thankful for that.

The next morning, or should I say...early afternoon, I woke up to an unmerciful blaze of Saturday sunlight pouring in through my bedroom window. I literally had to toss the covers up over my head to try to dull the glare of it enough to keep it from blinding me. Jesus! But...as I lay there, hiding from the light of day...my mind began its daily focus. And the first thing I thought of was...

How am I going to explain things to Mitchie?

He's definitely involved in all of this. And if we're both going to be outed at school...he should know about it ahead of time. Which means...I'm gonna have to explain what happened over at Chris' house. I'm gonna have to tell him that I didn't go through with it, and that I pretty much fucked things up for the both of us. And...I just hope he'll take it...'well'.

I felt that ache returning to my stomach again as the tension built up in me all over again. And I managed to get out of bed after twisting and turning over it for a few minutes more.

I cleaned up a bit, and Bobby made some quick cheeseburgers for lunch. He was already dressed for work, and almost ready to go. He was cooking a batch of frozen French fries that he must have gotten from the diner, and walked over to give me a kiss when he saw me enter the kitchen. "Kid, do something with your hair. You look like you just woke up."

"I did just wake up."

"Here you go. Eat up. You know how to finish off the fries, right?" He said, almost hurrying.

"Yeah, I got it." I said, sleepily.

"Alright. I'm sorry, but I've gotta get out of here. There's some Salisbury steak in the freezer, I taped the instructions on the fridge. Cook it SLOW, ok? And keep an eye on it." He wiped his hands off and grabbed his car keys. "I'll see you later, babe. Be good."

But as he was walking for the door, I stopped him. "Bobby?" He turned to look at me, waiting for me to say what I needed to say. But as horrifying thoughts of Chris and his friends showing up at his job tonight...destroying her image of me in ways that I couldn't even imagine...my words, even my thought...got caught up in the back of my throat. What if this is the last time we're ever able to see each other this way? What if...when he comes home tonight...everything has changed?

"What is it, Jackie? I've gotta go." She asked.

I looked down at the floor, as though avoiding his trusting eyes would somehow make this easier to say. My hands were shaking, my breath was short, and all of a sudden, I felt if I opened my mouth to say anything at ALL, I'd literally pass out! I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. I should have told him first. I should be brave enough to beat Chris to the punch...but his eyes...I couldn't say the words...not to those eyes. "I'm sorry. Go ahead. It's nothing."

He looked concerned, and asked me, "You sure?" I nodded silently, but he walked towards me and put his bag and car keys down on the kitchen table. "Jackie? Kid, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"It's ok, Bobby. Really. Go...."

"I will call them and tell them I'll be late if I have to. I'll get Tony to work for me if it's important..."

"It's not. Ok? Really. Go to work I'll see you when you get home, k?" I told him, and he almost didn't want to leave. The look of worry on his face...it intimidated me to no end. The pressure was making it hard to breathe, and all of my courage shrank to the size of a tic tac.

He put his hands on my both of my shoulders, "Jack...look at me" I didn't at first, but he insisted. "Hey...c'mon, I mean it. Look at me." I glanced up, and it was like my heart was about to explode from the stress of it all. "Anytime you want to talk to me, about anything...I'm here. You understand me?"

"Sigh...I know, Bobby..."

"No, no, you don't know. I'm not just wasting wind here, ok?" He told me, and then he gave me a kiss. "No matter what's going on, no matter what my life looks like...you come first. Alright? Always. You come first before anything else, and don't you forget it."

"Thanks." I said, smiling a bit to let him know that the message was received, loud and clear. "Now go. There's no way they could run that place without you." Thankfully, that got him to smile.

"You be good, Jack. Be a KID! Leave the worrying and the stressing out to me, alright? You take care of me, I take care of you. And together we can beat anything, you know that, right?"

"Forever and always." I said, doing my best to work up a smile, if for no other reason than to give him some comfort as he ran out of the door.

He picked up his bag and keys again. "Take those fries up and turn off the grease. Remember to run..."

"...Run hot water for a few minutes after pouring it down the drain. Yeah, I remember." I said, and he hurried out of the front door to go to work. Shit...this particular conversation is never going to be an easy one, is it?

I had some lunch, still trembling a bit as I planned to take the bus out to Mitchie's house and break the news to him. I couldn't help but feel like shit about it all, but I had to tell him. There's no way around that now.

The entire ride out to Mitchie's was one of reflection. It was as if I was trying to take inventory of all the things I would no longer enjoy, being out of the closet. Little things, but things that mattered to me. Naturally, the kids at school would have a field day with the idea. They probably wouldn't give it to Mitchie too badly, but they'd roast me on a daily basis. I was sure of it. Like Chris said, they were just waiting for a legitimate reason to totally make me an outcast anyway. They'd be overjoyed to have an actual reason to hate me for a change. But it wasn't really me that I was worried about. I mean, at the very worst...I'd have to deal with another level of teasing than the one I'm already used to. I'd like to think that I've built a pretty thick skin against their petty tortures at this point. But...poor Mitchie. He's not used to people talking about him behind his back. A few harmless comments from Angel was enough to make him feel bad. He's practically a 'golden boy' at our school. How is he going to react to whispers and ridicule? It crossed my mind, ever so briefly, that he might end up resenting me for bringing this garbage into his life. I mean....love is love...but who could forgive something like that? Seriously.

The closer I got to his house, the more I worried myself into a frenzy. I had to close my eyes and count backwards from ten just to keep my breathing normal. And when I got to Mitchie's front gate...I was visibly trembling from head to toe.

"Jack, what's going on man?" Said the man at the gate.

"Hey...." I mumbled. "Is...um...is Mitchie, home?" Please say no, please say no, please?

"Sure, he's here. Go on in, I'll buzz the house and tell him you're on your way." He said. Shit. Sigh....just as well. I might as well get this over with before tomorrow.

I took the walk from the gate to the house, and Mitchie was standing there at the door as I approached the front steps. "Hey cutie." He said, giving me a hug the second I was close enough. "Why didn't you call me first? I would have come to pick you up or something."

"I....I just figured....I'd come by, that's all." I said, nervously trying to hide my sweaty palms behind my back.

"What's the matter? Are you ok?" He asked.

"Mitchie....." How do I even begin? "...Mitchie, we have to talk...about something."

"Something bad?" He asked.

"Um...yeah...maybe." I told him. "Can we...can we talk in your basement or something?"

Mitchie's worried eyes met mine, and said, "Yeah. Definitely. Come on down with me." He led me through his house, and as we got to the stairs leading into his basement, I caught a glimpse of his mother standing by the window on the phone. She turned and gave me...'that look'. God, she could really level you with her bitchy expression when she wanted to. God only knows how bad it's gonna get when she finds out that me and Mitchie are boyfriends! That's going to magnify her disgust for me by a million! I'm sure of it!

It was a brief crossing of paths, but I let my stupid 'home training' force me into giving her a greeting anyway when I walked past her. Instead of returning my wave and semi-smile...she sneered a bit, and with a roll of her eyes, said, "I'm on the phone." Sigh...whatever. She always treated me like some kind of dirty cockroach in her pristine house, but Mitchie was able to easily bypass her every insult and dirty look without incident. Maybe he was just used to it, and refused to care anymore. But I wasn't. Normally, I wouldn't give a damn...but it was her influence in boyfriend's life that made it hurt worse. Because at the end of the day, if she ever just put her foot down and said, 'no more'...what could we really do to get around that? "Mitchie...you should be getting ready to 'go' soon. I need you to look presentable for..."

But Mitchie completely ignored her as always, shutting the door in her face as he led me downstairs. I swear, hehe, his ability to totally disregard his own mother for my benefit was about as flattering as anything that I could imagine. Normally, I'd feel bad for coming between somebody and their own parents. But in Mitchie's case, his mom was a total bitch, and he was well aware of that fact! I never said it, he never disputed it, and somehow the silent message was conveyed between us whenever necessary. I guess, maybe, that was all I needed to feel comfortable here. That and Mitchie's kiss...which he graced me with as soon as we reached the bottom of the steps.

God....his lips felt good against mine. Every kiss was a blessing, and it always kept me thirsty for more. I only wish that I could have been here on happier circumstances.

"Mitchie...Mitchie, wait, ok? Really...this is important." He stopped kissing my lips, and looked me in the eye. "You might...wanna sit down for this, ok?"

He didn't want to at first, but I gave him a nod, and he decided to take me up on the offer. So he took me by the hand, and sat down on the sofa, making sure that I had room to sit down beside him. I didn't take it though...I thought it was best that I remained standing for this.

There was no easy way to say what I had to say, so the direct approach was needed. Here goes nothing. "It's Chris....he's talking about telling everybody about....'us'." I said.

Mitchie seemed to turn white all of a sudden, and his eyes dropped as he took in a deep breath and held it. "So.....he's just gonna...say it? He's gonna expose us?"

"Yeah. I think he is. On Monday morning." I wish that I had a way to comfort Mitchie in all of this, but I really didn't. I could hardly comfort myself at this point. "I did everything I could to reason with him and get him to back off of us, but...he just...he won't listen."

There was a moment of silence, where Mitchie began to visibly tremble right in front of my eyes. The guilt factor tripled instantly, and just seeing the worry in those beautiful eyes of his...I almost wanted to go back and beg Chris for another chance to strip for him. I almost wanted to make thing right...no matter what the cost. "This Monday?" He asked, his voice shaking uncontrollably. I nodded my head, and he leaned back against the sofa...using both hands to cover his face for a moment while he tried to think.

"Mitchie...listen, I'm so sorry for all of this! I'm so damn sorry! I never meant for Chris to fall for me and..."

But he let his hands drop and stopped me in mid sentence. "Awww, baby....NO! I'm not blaming you for this. I would never think that any of this was your fault."

"But it is my fault, Mitchie. It is. If I had just kept my distance from Chris and stayed away from him in the first place...none of this would have happened."

"None of that matters, Jack Really. Ok?" He said. Even with his voice trembling a bit, he stood up on strong legs and took a hold of my hand again, kissing the back of it sweetly. "I don't even care."

"I don't believe you." I sniffled.

"Seriously. Ok?" He kissed my cheek. "This is what I care about. This right here. You and me, being close enough to feel your touch. That's what matters."

"This just...this isn't fair to you." I said, my eyes watering up as the shame and embarrassment of putting him in this position began to tie my stomach up in tight little knots. "I don't have anything to lose. Those kids don't like me anyway. They've always hated me, and they always will. So for me...this is just one more reason to hang my head low in the hallways when I walk to class." Then...as I struggled to keep talking, the first few tears began to fall...and I started sniffling again as the emotion put a stranglehold on my every word. "But you...they're gonna tear down everything you've worked so hard for. All of your friends, and your achievements, and your whole social status is going to go down the drain. It's all gonna crumble because of me! And I can't stop hating myself for it, Mitchie! They're gonna hate you too, and it's not fair! It's not fair that you should have to live what I go through just because of some stupid....fucking...." I started to sob, and Mitchie put his hands on both of my shoulders.

"Jack...listen to me, ok?" He said. "Ok?" I looked him in the eye, and he told me, "The only thing that I have to lose in this world, that means anything at all...is you. Do you understand that? I don't care about anything else. I don't care if the whole world hated me...as long as I knew that you loved me, I'll be ok. We'll both be ok."

"You're just saying that..."

"No, I'm not."

"You are! How can you say that?" I asked, and he wiped my tears away for me, a bit of moisture appearing in his eyes as he saw me so 'broken' in front of him.

After a short pause, Mitchie closed his eyes for a second, and then asked, "Do you want me to tell her?" He asked, a serious tone in his voice.

"Do what? Tell her? Tell who?"

"My mother." He said. And despite the overall horror of the concept, he looked like he was dead serious about it.

"What....what are you talking about?"

He held my cheeks in his hands, and kissed me tenderly on the lips. "Jack...the most important thing to me in this world...is being able to stand right here, right now, and kiss my boyfriend on the lips as an expression of how I truly feel. You're the one person in existence that gives my life meaning. You're not just some cute guy that I picked up to satisfy my need for affection...I love you. I love you, and care about you, and nothing about my life is worth a damn without you." He said. "If you want me to go upstairs...right now...and tell my mother that we're in love...I'll do it. And I don't give a shit what she has to say about it. Because this is our relationship. Yours and mine. And nobody else is invited to comment, judge, or even understand that, unless we decide it's necessary."

"Mitchie...this kind of thing....it doesn't go away. Ever. If it gets out that we're gay..."

"Then we'll deal with it. And we'll deal with it together. And when times get hard, we'll have each other to hold on to for support." I couldn't believe what he was saying. I couldn't believe that he was willing to leave something like this to chance. He wiped a few more of my tears away, but they were running freely now, and my cheeks wouldn't stay dry for more than a second at a time. It hurt him to see me so distraught, but I couldn't stop shaking. The more I tried to contain my fear of what was going to happen come Monday morning, the stronger it got. Mitchie tried to calm me down, and brought me down to sit on the couch with him. "You know....despite the fact that everything might seem all easy and carefree for us right now, it really hasn't been. I mean, it took us months to even talk to one another. And even when I started coming over to your house and fell in love with everything you are...it took a lot of scared little glances and comments before the very idea of being with you didn't absolutely terrify me. Don't you remember that?"

I was still crying a bit, but the memory did make me smile a bit. "You know...I think I watched you on the bus for an eternity. 'Sniffle'...I never got tired of looking at you."

"I wanted to say something, I just...I didn't know how. I cried so much because I had no idea what to do with the feeling. I couldn't make it go away, I couldn't ignore it when you were around, I sure as hell couldn't express it...I was in Chris' place once too. And it hurt every day. If only I could count the number of tears I shed over you, before and after the first time you told me you felt the same way. And since then..I haven't regretted a single day since. Not a one."

"Me either..." I said, kissing his cheek.

"Jack, we've fought too hard to get over our own fears to be together. Through bullshit, and my screwed up family, and Chris' cruel little games, and a great deal of distance...just to be here right now..sitting side by side, just inches away from a kiss that could overpower any obstacle that the world could ever hope to throw at us. And, no matter what happens...we'll get through this too. This and a whole lot more."

I looked down at my lap, my fingers interlaced between his, and felt a few more warm tears trickle down my cheeks. "I don't know..if I can be that strong, Mitchie. I don't know if I can...tell Bobby...who I really am."

He held my hand tighter, and I leaned my head on his shoulder as he attempted to comfort me. He asked, "Do you think...he'd be upset? I mean...if you think you might need a place to stay, it's no problem..."

"No. No, it's nothing like that." I said, wishing that I had a more concrete answer to give him. I took a long moment, trying to get the words together, trying to find the reason. But as much as it choked and burned in the back of my throat...it just wouldn't come to me. Even with all its frightening threats and terrors...it just remained this dark area of unknown...'change'. And it was a change that I wasn't ready to face. I felt Mitchie's angelic kiss touch the top of my forehead as he lightly brushed my locks away from the tender spot. I sniffled, "I just...don't think I can disappoint him, Mitchie. I'm sorry, I just...I can't let him know. I can't tell him. Even if I know he'd understand." I looked up from his shoulder, to see his sweet stare looking back at me "Am I totally crazy for that?"

"No. You're not crazy." He told me, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders as I sank my tear stained face into his chest. "I know what it's like. I feel it too."

We were quiet for a moment, and I asked, "Can you just....hold me for a while? Please?"

It never took more than a word. Sometimes it didn't even take that much. But Mitchie held me on that couch for as long as he could. For as long as his mother's 'schedule' would allow. Not that he had any trouble telling her to wait..but the last thing I wanted was for the two of them to begin any conflicts right now. Especially considering what we might have to confess to her in the next 48 hours. So I told him to go. I practically had to force him to go. And he kissed me deeply on the lips before we left that basement. It was the kind of loving embrace that felt like it could erase the whole world and everything in it, if only you believed in it. And I did. I believed with all my heart.

He offered me a ride home, and while spending time in a car with his mother sounded like a 'splendid' idea...I told him I wanted to take the bus. I figured that I needed the extra time to straighten my thoughts out. His last words to me, before hugging me tight in front of his mom, were, "You call me if you need me. I'm not taking calls from anyone else until you talk to me, ok?" And with that, I told him to wipe his eye as another stray tear was getting ready to fall, and he smiled in return.

The bus ride home was a quiet one. Certain realities began to take a hold of me, and I thought about how awful it would be for Bobby to find out that I was gay from Chris....instead of me. How bad it would sound coming from a bunch of cackling 'goons' instead of me. And that meant that if I was going to somehow 'pad' the blow...I might have to beat Chris to the punch. I might have to tell him myself. And that thought alone nearly started the waterworks again on the bus. It was only the humiliation of crying in front of strangers that held it back.

Getting home was hard. I sat in my room, watching the minutes race by on the clock in my bedroom as I tried to rush through a few scenarios as to how to say what I needed to say. Come on, Jack! It's Bobby! We can do this! I can...I can just start off with something...'gay' related or something...and then just move into telling her. There's gotta be something going on in 'gay news' at the moment, right? Ummm....think. Think, think, think! Fuck! The *ONE* time I need some weirdo, gay bashing, fanatic to actually do something news worthy...they're all surprisingly silent. So much for that idea.

I heard the front door open as Bobby came home from work, and felt that intense fear swelling up in my chest as he called out my name. "Jack? You home kid?"

I sat up on my bed, and twiddled my thumbs for a moment as the silly idea of 'hiding out' crossed my mind. Then I answered back, "......Hi, bobby." What was happening to me? I was shivering, sweating, nearly gasping for breath.

I had to literally force my legs to move, and, with a silent count to ten, I got up and walked out of my room...to see him face to face. The adrenaline pumping through my veins at that moment was enough to for me to win the state horse races on foot! I thought my heart was actually going to jump out of place and end up somewhere else in my body. I could hear him in the kitchen, and just as I was getting close to rounding the corner and being visible, I could feel my eyes straining to water up again.

No! I was a few seconds short of slapping myself to keep the tears away. Straighten up. Breathe. Go in the kitchen. Talk. Once we get things in motion...the rest will be easy. We can't just let Chris win this time. We've just gotta grow some balls and do this! So I got my act together, and then timidly peeked around the corner to see him putting some stuff in the fridge out of few grocery bags.

I watched in silence for a second or two when he saw me. "Hey, kid." He smiled. "Guess what? You remember that little chicken think you made when we first got here? Well, some guy came into that diner I hang out at with his work buddies asking for the 'cheap' version that the boss usually sells there, and tries to pass off as something fancy. Well, the guy hated it. Haha, sent it back and wanted his money refunded for such a horrible meal"

I grinned a bit, trying to hide my nervousness. "You're smiling like that's good news."

"It is good news! Because I told the boss that I could make him a better batch if he didn't mind waiting, and they worked it out. So I gave him dish...and he couldn't get enough of them. Left a thirty dollar tip on a fifty dollar tab! I figured I'd stop off at the grocery store and pick up a few things on the way. I had so much fun making that thing I thought maybe I'd make it for us tomorrow. Sort of a treat. What do ya say?" He was so happy. So comfortable. Did he even know what was coming?

"That sounds...awesome." I said. I was frozen in place for a minute, hoping not to let his current cheerful mood intimidate me too much. I guess there's never a 'right' time for this, huh? "B-B-Bobby?" I said...my voice trembling even worse than before.

"Yeah?"

"Can....can we...'talk' for a second?" I asked, and when he looked up at me, I did all I could to not be knocked over by his concern.

"Is anything wrong?"

"Just...uhhh...well..." Don't 'think'! There's no way to really rehearse this kind of thing. Just...start the ball rolling, and hopefully everything will fall into place. "...Bobby, sit down for a second, ok?"

He put the groceries down and closed the refrigerator. I had to sit down too, but couldn't lift my eyes up from the seemingly mismatched design of the tattered plastic table cloth. "Jackie?" He asked me, after a bit of a pause. And I had to fight so hard to keep from crying again. If I start crying, he's just gonna get flustered and worried and I wasn't gonna be able to do this properly with him all 'freaked out' like that.

"Bobby...you know...I went to Mitchie's today. You know...umm...so we had a talk about some...'stuff'." Just say it, Jack Just say it.

"Ok..." He said, giving me the chance to speak. God...how I wished I didn't have the chance to speak. It felt like this spotlight was on me now, and the ability to breathe was decreasing by the second.

"He...that is...Mitchie and I are...kinda 'close'." I said, and for a moment, I thought that I saw a spark in his eyes that recognized what 'close' meant. For some stupid reason, I automatically retracted the statement. "I mean...we're close friends. Like...we tell each other everything." I don't know why I did it. This is what I'm trying to tell him, right? I should have just let him come to the right conclusion! Now I've gotta start all over again. "Well...you remember when I told you about that time I was little, and little Susie Slater next door used to kiss me all the time...and I would threaten to hit her with a stick to....um...keep her away from me...?" Ok, where the hell was I going with this line of conversation? "Well...I mean...it's not that I hated HER, really...I just didn't like...'girls'....back then."

Jack was clearly confused. "Jack, you said you were seven. No boy likes girls when he's seven." He grinned.

"I know..but....now it's like...I kinda...'still'...." Ugh...no, this is the wrong way to go. "Wait...let me start over."

"Jack, kid...whatever it is, just spit it out." He reached out to hold my hands across the kitchen table. "Talk to me. I'm sure it's not that bad." He had no idea.

I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes as I lowered my head. "Bobby......" Just breathe, Jack. Just breathe. It'll feel so much better to just get it out. "...Me and Mitchie...umm....me and....and Mitchie...are uh..." My legs got weak. My stomach flipped upside down. And my throat tightened up tot he point where I couldn't swallow a single drop of saliva. And just as the panic got to be so great that it nearly devoured me inside, I said..."Me and Mitchier have been ditching a couple of classes together. Just a couple...but...I just felt....bad about it. That's all." It was a cop out. It was a complete and total transformation into a full blown chicken. But my strength had left me. My courage had dissolved into nothing, and I had nothing left to hold me upright. As it was, I felt like I was gonna faint.

"Ditching classes? Is that what's gotten you so worried these past few days?" He asked me.

Say no! Say no, Jack...and tell him the fucking truth! Come on! "Yeah....I just didn't want you to be...mad at me."

He sat back in his chair for a moment, and he said, "You know...when I took you in....Ma...she told me something important. She said, 'Bobby...one day soon, that boy is going to be a full blown teenager. He's all like you, he just doesn't know it yet, and if that's any indication of the teen he's gonna be, you're going to be in for one hell of a wild ride." He smiled at the thought of it, a touch of sadness mixed in from not having her around any more. Then he said, "She told me that, before you graduated high school...that I would run into at least five incidents...where I'd just have to sit back, count to ten, and say to myself that 'boys will be boys'. She warned me, and even though I told her it wasn't in your heart to do anything inherently wicked...she swore up and down that those days would come, like it or not. And sure enough...I can see it on the horizon more and more every day." He clasped my hands for a moment longer, and then let me go. "I didn't want to believe that my Jackie would ever go astray one day, but that's a part of growing up, I suppose."

"Bobby..."

"No, it's ok. I understand. I don't like you ditching school, and we didn't put forth good money for you to waste it running the streets, Jack. You're better than that. We did everything we could to keep you 'away' from the bad stuff...and if you just stay focused...you're going to make one hell of a good man someday. Ok? Just keep your heart. That's the most beautiful part of you, kid. And you're going to realize that someday. Your not really the spitting image of me. But if Ma's right and you really are like me, that means you're going to be one hell of a handful!" I lowered my eyes, but tried to smile for him anyway. "But...handful or not...I love you. At the end of the day, I love you. No matter what. Ok?"

I don't think he got it. He has no idea how close I came to telling him who I really was. But at this point, I just needed an escape. Any escape. And as this growing panic expanded inside of me to the bursting point, I stood up from the table. "Thank you, Bobby. And....I'm...I'm sorry, ok?"

"Hey...just don't do it any more. Alright? Go to school, keep your head in those books. You'll appreciate all that hard work later. Don't make a mistake you can't take back." He said, and I nodded, just trying to leave that room as soon as possible. "What did I tell you, huh?" He said. "I take care of you..."

"...And I take care of you." I told him, completing our private motto between us. And he allowed me to leave without any other questions. You would have thought that the exit from danger would make me feel better....but it didn't.

In fact....things got worse.

The second I got to my room and closed the door, the panic inside began to scratch and claw at my insides like a rabid beast! The minor trembles that I was experiencing before had turned to violent spasms that nearly rattled me to pieces. I paced back and forth in my room, faster and faster, nervous tears literally pouring out of my eyes as I tried to hold my breath to keep from crying out loud. The hysteria grew...and grew...and grew....and in the matter of a minute or two, I was suddenly so scared that I felt my stomach begin to tighten and heave all on its own.

I suddenly ran out of my bedroom and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut as I knelt down at the toilet and begin to throw up from fear alone! From what I was about to do! What I was about to say! Bobby came by shortly after to knock on the door and ask if I was alright...and despite my positive answer...I had to ask myself...

...was I alright? Would I ever be alright again?

As I knelt there, tears in my frightened eyes, I swear that I could still feel time...racing by...waiting to expose me. Waiting to tear down my paradise and put a personal hell in its place. I'm just not ready. I'm......I'm just not ready.


	25. Chapter 25

After puking up my guts for an hour and reassuring Bobby that I was fine just a little sick, I finally made it to my room. I stared up at my ceiling from the bed, I'd been like this for I while I'm not really sure how long but a while. When I noticed the room lightening, I blinked. No sleep, my head was pounding, my shoulders ached, I felt like an elephant had suddenly decided to make my chest a chair. I felt as though I was slowly suffocating. I needed to tell Bobby the truth and still keep my face intact, I need to keep Mitchie happy while keeping my secret my own, and I needed to stop pissing off Chris. I sighed, getting up teenagers were suppose to live life not want to end it. I know I wasn't exactly normal; I was different. I couldn't remember why at the moment, but I knew I was. I got up and moved to the bathroom. Bobby was by my side in a second,

"Are you ok? Do you feel any better?" he asked feeling my forehead,

"I'm fine," I replied quietly, "I just need a shower." Bobby nodded moving out of the way so I could get to the bathroom. I undressed and moved to turn on the shower, I turned the water on till it was so hot I could barley stand it, then I stepped in to it. I stood shaking despite the temperature, feeling suddenly sick. When I told Chris off I had felt so confident and now I wanted to curl up and die. I sat down and hugged my knees to my chest letting the hot water beat down on my back. Still I kept shivering, I felt like someone had pumped ice water into my veins. I wanted to disappear, everything was about to collapse around me and there was nothing I could do. The helpless feeling was beginning to feel familiar although I could not place it. Suddenly something just snapped inside of me. I could feel it like the damn holding everything back crumbled washing me away drowning me in memories. I gasped as they hit me making my choke back a sob. I stood up panting I could barley see I stepped out of the shower and got under my bed. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my hands over my ears tightly. I began sobbing praying it would stop. The more I tried to choke it back down the worse it got. I literally felt all the experiences over again. I screamed as my body remembered the pain. I started clawing at my arms to block it out. I was crying and screaming, my arm went numb from the scratching, not even putting a dent in the pain I could feel. I bit my lip, and clawed harder. Suddenly I was grabbed and pulled out from under the bed. I started kicking and screaming, but he didn't stop. I started clawing at my arms again unsure if it was a memory or real. They pulled me into their lap grabbing my arms crisscrossing them against my chest. I hung my head crying but still struggling. I could hear the man whispering in my ear, rocking me. He wrapped an arm around my arms pressed to my chest he pulled me to his chest and started stroking my hair. I heard someone in the doorway but refused to look up at him, I just started clawing at my shoulders. I felt the rumble in the mans chest as he talked to the other man. I felt the other man leave; the man holding me began whispering again stroking my hair and rocking me. The other man returned and I dug my fingers into my shoulder harder clawing faster. He grabbed my wrist and pulled something thick and bulky over it, then taped it down repeating the same with the other hand. When he was done I let me arms fall in my lap I was too tired to scratch any more. The whirlwind in my head slowed enough that I could close my eyes, I pressed my head to the mans chest and fell asleep.

When I woke up I was in Bobby's bed with my head on his chest. I snuggled closer realizing how much I missed this, I lifted my arm to grip bobby when I noticed and oven mitt over my hand. I lifted the other hand to find the same thing. I looked further down where my arms were wrapped in bandages. I got up and fled to the bathroom, to find my shoulders uncovered but sporting deep red marks. I gasped and tore at the bandages on my arms to see the damage, when a hand grabbed my hand stopping me.

"I just cleaned those," Bobby said looking down at me. I tried to respond but my throat felt dry and raw so it came out as a croak. Bobby poured me a glass of water; I reached for it when I realized I was still wearing oven mitts.

"Sorry it was the only way I could think to stop your scratching." He grabbed some scissors from the counter and started cutting the tape. He slipped them off and I gasped, my hands were coated in blood and I could feel skin built up under my nails. Bobby stepped up behind me and turned on the faucet, he held my wrists and guided them to the water. Bobby helped me get all the stuff off my hands then led me back to his room with the glass of water. He sat with me on the bed and I curled into him sipping my water.

"What happened Jack?" he asked quietly, "I haven't found you under the bed in ages, did someone hurt you again?" I shook my head,

"No, I don't know what happened Bobby," I said

"Did something happen that reminded you off all that shit?"

"No I just, I've been stressed out."

"Did you and Mitchie break up?" my head snapped up to look at Bobby.

"Oh come on Jack I'm not dumb," Bobby said, "And in your case I would have had to be blind deaf and dumb not to notice. " he smiled at me, "Don't worry I don't mind."

"Why didn't you tell my?" I cried

"It wasn't my business I figured you would come and tell me when you were ready"

"Oh wow I… next time just confront me it would have saved me a lot of time and trouble."

"I'm sorry now tell me what's going on." I told him my story all about Chris and that he found out me and Mitchie were together, minus the sex. I told him about dealing with Chris's rage. How he messed with my grades, schedule. How he forced me into detention. Finally I told him about going to Chris's house and what he did. I watched Bobby's expression turn from upset to anger to absolute fury.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bobby asked angrily,

"Because Chris was going to tell everyone." I whispered,

"So what?" said Bobby "Did you think I would kick you out?"

"Well a little, I was more worried about school." I replied quietly,

"You think I would let any harms come to you?" Bobby asked heatedly "Haven't you figured it out yet?" Jack I'm your brother, no one will hurt you while I'm around." I thought about it and realized how stupid I had been about everything. If I had just been honest with Bobby from the start he could have taken care of the whole thing. He could have taken care of me, even if he was busy, I realized he would have gladly taken the time off wor-

"Bobby, why aren't you working?" I asked suddenly super aware of the man.

"Oh, I we need to talk Jackie," Bobby said, sitting up a bit more. "You remember when I talked about going to see ma?" I nodded, "Well I plan on going soon."

"Oh well spring break is coming up soon."

"Well Jack we actually need to leave sooner than that."

"Oh alright… when?"

"Tomorrow," Bobby replied,

"Tomorrow?" I squeaked, "Bobby what about school, I need to get my work. How long will we be gone for?"

"We aren't coming back Jack."

"What?" I yelled, "We can't just leave! What about school and Mitchie?"

"There are schools in Detroit you know,"

"What about Mitchie?" I screamed at him,

"Look I know you like him but we cant stay Jack we need to go back home."

"Why?" I cried moving away from him,

"I, We…Jack we have no money left. We are leaving on money I don't own. I'm in a lot of debt Jackie." Bobby looked away from me, "I'm sorry call an tell Mitchie bye, he can even come over later tonight." Bobby then got up and left the room and later the house. I got up shakily grabbing some clothes and getting dressed. I grabbed my backpack and called Kris.

"Hello?" Kris said as she answered her phone.

"Kris? Its Jack,"

"Oh hey sweetie, what can I do for you?"

"Can you give me a ride?"

"Sure thing kid, where you at?" she asked,

"Home, I want to go to school, I overslept."

"Alright, I'm on my way kid,"

"She hung up leaving me sitting in the living room. I didn't really know what I was feeling, I was angry but at the same time I understood what Bobby was saying. I still didn't want to go. I sat there and thought for a long while before Kris showed up. I tried to shut my mind down on the ride so I wouldn't think. I got to school in time for my third period class. I had sometime before class and went to find Mitchie. Unfortunately I ran into a more unappealing person.

"Jack what happened?" Chris asked, in the excitement of everything I forgot to grab a jacket to cover my arms.

"Nothing," I whispered, "what do you want?" he ignored my question asking,

"Did someone hurt you?" he looked furious.

"Why do you care?" I snapped glaring at him, "Last time I checked you were pissed at me and trying to hurt me not to mention get in my pants." He started to look even angrier than before. Then he looked at me more softly, all traces of anger gone. Like someone had pulled a drain plug and it had slipped away.

"I'm sorry," He sobbed, "It was wrong of me, I wasn't thinking straight. Please don't hate me."

"Just shut up Chris," I whispered dangerously, "You crossed the line this time, I don't hate you. But I defiantly don't like you and I will never trust you."

"Please, I didn't tell anyone," he pleaded, "Can't we just start over? Just give me a second chance."

"I already did Chris. I let you become my friend even after you bullied me. I now see it was a mistake. You want a third chance? Are you gonna want a fourth one when I make a mistake and set you off because you don't like it?"

"I wont, I lov-…" he began but I cut him off,

"Stop it, you don't care or love me Chris, you lust for me. People who love me don't hurt me the way you did. Besides even if I would consider it, I cant."

"Why not I didn't tell anyone your secret."

"Go fuck yourself Chris, I don't care if you tell because I'm leaving, I'm going back to Detroit."

"What?" he cried moving towards me, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back to arms length. "Please, don't leave, I'm sorry Jack."

"Don't flatter yourself, Chris, 'm not leaving because of you." I replied coldly, "Bobby and I are to poor to stay, go ahead and laugh, I'm done caring what you think."

"No, I'm not laughing Jack, please I have money I can take care of you1" I laughed,

"I'm not you fucking charity case, Chris. Besides from what I know of you, you don't give anything with no price. I know you and I'm not going to end up in your bed. I will never do that for you Chris." I turned to storm away, but Chris grabbed me swinging me around into his chest, hugging me tightly. I tried to rip myself from his grasp, but he didn't let up. I felt the sobs racking his chest, but I didn't care, I was still angry with him. I started pounding on his chest; He buried his face into my hair.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He sobbed, I started feeling tired and suddenly it was taking to much energy to hit him so I stopped. He pulled me tighter trapping my arms between our bodies. "Please don't go," he continued bawling like a small child. He snaked one arm around my waist while moving his other hand to grip my hair tightly, still sobbing.

"Chris, please let go of me," I whispered, he shook his head sobbing still saying sorry and don't go.

"Chris, let go of me," I whispered again, he squeezed me tightly and I gasped.

"Chris, please, your hurting me." I cried out and he let me go and I fell to the floor gasping. Chris started sobbing even harder

"I'm sorry please I'm so sorry." He fell to his knees reaching for me but I scrambled away getting to my feet and running, leaving him on the floor sobbing. I turned the corner and right into Mitchie, knocking us both to the ground.

"Jack," He laughed, "I was hoping to run into you, but uh not in such a literal sense." He stood up and held his hand out for me to take, I reached up and Mitchie gasped falling to his knees cradling my arm.

"Oh my god," he cried, "What happened?" he looked over to me and I tried to look away but he grabbed my chin so I looked back.

"You'll think I'm a freak," I whispered trying to look away, but Mitchie refused to let go.

"You, I you… you tried… tried to kill yourself?" he asked quietly,

"No, you won't understand," I pulled my knees to my chest wrapping my arms around them, and laying my head down away from Mitchie. I tried to put some space between us. At first I thought he would close the gap but he didn't.

"Please Jackie try to explain it." I shook my head feeling my eyes begin to sting, "Jack please, I'm here for you did someone hurt you?" I shook my head, I didn't want to tell him how messed up I really was. I wanted to leave with him still liking me.

"I'm leaving," I blurted out, I turned to see Mitchie staring at me in shock.

"No." I barley heard it slip from his lips. "Please be joking."

"No, Bobby's officially our of money, we're gonna go stay with his mom."

"Jack please, I need you here." He said chocking back tears.

"I'm sorry," I said turning away so I didn't see his water works

"But I love you!" he cried

"I love you too," I replied still not looking at him, "It won't stop me from leaving."

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long until you leave?" I could hear his voice cracking

"Tomorrow," I whispered, "I leave tomorrow." I heard Mitchie lose it.

"No," he screamed making me jump. "Please god," I could feel my heart crumbling, while I listened to the one person who had kept me going, who loved me unconditionally, break. My whole body shook as pain racked my body. It hurt with such intensity, and I could feel the dam breaking again. I got up and ran to the bathroom, the pain was so bad I felt nauseas. I leaned over the toilet and puked up stomach acid, grimacing at the bitter taste. I puked again and again, until I was simply dry heaving. I sat back and pressed my head to the cool tiles of the wall. I tried to take deep breaths as the pain raced through my body.

"Jack?" I heard Mitchie enter the bathroom sniffling, "Jack are you ok?" he asked softly, I whimpered at the pain wishing Mitchie would go away, I didn't want him to see me go through one of my episodes. All too soon even before I could ask him to leave, all the memories flooded back and I was screaming. I could feel the blood curdling screams rip from my throat. My nails instantly found my arms; I clawed through the bandages, opening the red angry looking gashes on my arms. I ripped and tore at them wishing the real world would come back. I heard a bang in the distance. I heard screaming but over it all I could hear Dave. I felt a sudden hatred to the man. I hated how he managed to fuck up my life even from the grave. I clawed harder trying to get back to the real world. I felt someone dragging me to my feet and rip my nails from my arms. They were screaming but my min couldn't register what they were saying. So clouded by memories. I curled my fingers in to my palms and bit my lip. The person behind me uncurled my fingers. I threw my head back smacking whom ever it was holding me. They fell back as I fell to the floor. I crawled away from them. I could hear someone screaming and crying. I curled up again grabbing at my hair ripping it out.

"Shut up!" I screamed, "Shut up shut up shut up!" my mind cleared and everything was silent again. I sat up my fingers still in my hair pulling out strands as I evaluated my surroundings. Chris was on the floor holding his nose as it bled freely. Mitchie and a teacher were in the doorway. Mitchie's eyes were wide and he had a hand clamped over his mouth crying. The teacher was just standing there in shock. My gaze flickered to the floor to find blood and lots of blood smears. I pulled at my hair faster. I saw the teacher run to Chris's side. I heard him panicky tell Mitchie to calm down and go get the nurse. Mitchie backed out of the stall slowly. I sat there, and began rocking myself. It was comforting to tack and pull my hair. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and I jumped.

"Jack are you alright?" I heard the teacher ask, I didn't answer I just kept rocking and pulling my hair. "Jack do you know where you are?" he asked quietly as if not to startle me. I started laughing; the teacher thought I was crazy. Probably ready to throw me in the loony bin. Well not that I hadn't given him good reason. I started to imagine what I must look like. My eyes were probably red from crying, my lip was bleeding from where I had bit it. My hair was probably sticking up in every which way direction. My arms were probably a pretty sight. I could feel the blood slicking up my arms. To top it all off I was rocking back and forth. Before the teacher had a chance to speak again Mitchie returned with the nurse. She gasped as she looked around, at everything.

"Ms. Rye it seems we have a small situation, can you help?" pleaded the teacher. The nurse nodded slowly and swallowed dryly.

"Where should I start?" she asked

"With Jack, Chris broke his nose but I've already set it and he has plenty of tissues. Jack, well I'm not even sure if he's with us. Apparently he just started screaming and scratching his arms."

"Yes, well you should take Chris back to my office and call his parents. Mitchie please run down to the office and get Mr. Thor and the principle." Mitchie nodded and set off to get them, the nurse stepped closer to me.

"Jack?" she asked softly, "Are you ok? Can you hear me?" I glanced up at her then back to the floor. "I'll take that as a yes. Jack I need to patch you up, are you going to be ok if I touch you?" I glanced back up at her and nodded. She smiled real big and set to work. She knelt next to me and whipped out her first aid kit. She sprayed my arms with an antibacterial. Then wrapped them in gauze securing them with medical tape. When she was done, she stepped aside to let the counselor and principle in. The principle looked around, clearly shocked while Mr. Thor just looked down at me sympathetically.

"Mark, go call his parents." Mr. Thor said turning to the principle. Mr. Cullen nodded and turned to leave.

"I'll call down a janitor too." He left with out another word. Mr. Thor turned to me.

"Hey kiddo," he said sitting across from me, I didn't acknowledge him but I didn't seem to faze him. "Come one Jack you can talk to me, Call you tell me if you're trying to hurt of kill yourself?" I shook my head, "No? but then why do that to your arms?"

"Wanted out of my head because it's so noisy." I whined

"I don't understand can you help me?" he asked,

"I'm a freak," I turned away from him,

"No Jack, you're not a freak, but I do think you could use some help and that is exactly what I'm here for." I stared up at him wondering if he really wanted to help.

"Come on what's the worst that could happen?"

"I-It hurt and I wanted out of the storm in my head. I felt like I was in a nightmare but couldn't wake up. Pain helps me get back to earth."

"So like pinching yourself to wake up only more intense," he said quietly, I nodded. "Ok, well if your back now why are you still yanking your hair out?"

"Feels good," I replied pulling harder. Mr. Thor lifted his hand to his head and pulled out a hair.

"That kinda hurts Jack," he said wincing a little, I nodded, "Then why do it?"

"Feels good to feel pain on the outside then the inside when I cant stop it.

"So you like feeling in control of the pain you feel?" I nodded still rocking

"I think I understand Jack, but I still don't get what pain your feeling on the inside. Did someone hurt you? Did they call you names is that why it's so crazy in your head?"

"Its all his fault," I whispered

"Who?" Mr. Thor asked I shook my head,

"Speak of the devil,"

"And he will appear." Mr. Thor finished, "So did the devil hurt you Jack?" I nodded

"How did the devil hurt you?" Mr. Thor asked,

"I don't want to talk anymore," I cried,

"Come on Jack at least tell me who the devil is,"

"Memories will come back, and I will hurt again."

"Come on Jack, please tell me who's hurting you, just a name please." I looked up into Mr. Thor's pleading eyes,

"Dave," I whispered I felt hot tears spilling over and running down my face.

"Dave, does Dave have a last name?" I shook my head,

"Well where is Dave?" he asked, I looked up.

"Dead," I replied

"Then he cant hurt you can he?" I shook my head, "Test this was all a test and I failed and now he is hurting me again," Just as Mr. Thor was going to reply, Paul walked into the stall.

"Can I help you?" Mr. Thor asked, clearly irritated that he had been interrupted.

"Yeah, I'm Paul, I'm here to pick up Jack," Paul said looking around the stall finally his eyes falling on me. He looked very sympathetic.

"Oh alright, um well please just keep and eye out for him, we're all worried for him," Paul nodded moving toward me,

"Hey, can you walk or should I carry you?" I reached up for him like a small child; He wrapped his coat around me before putting my arms around his neck and lifting me up so my legs were wrapped around him. I saw Mr. Thor frown at the position but he said nothing. Mr. Thor walked us to the front door before saying good-bye. I laid my head on Paul's shoulder burying my face into his neck. Thankfully no one was in the halls. As we walked to the car I could feel Paul softly rubbing my balls through my jeans, I moaned into his neck. He continued until we got to the car. He placed me in the front seat, once he put me down he began rubbing my penis through my jeans, I gasped and moaned again. He closed my door before it began looking suspicious. He ran around the car and got in. As he started driving he went back to his assault on my crotch. I started moaning a writhing in my seat. Paul didn't stop he kept going until I came gasping and moaning. As soon as Paul pulled up to my house I was in his lap kissing him fiercely. He ran his hands up and down my back, then reaching down my pants squeezing my butt. I broke the kiss to snatch some air. Paul began kissing me stopping at my neck to suck my Adam's apple. I gasped and moaned gripping his hair. He kissed his way back to my mouth.

"We should move inside," he said against my lips, I nodded, and he carried me in like he had last time. And like last time he rubbed my balls through my jeans rubbing my cum into me. The minute we hit my bedroom, our clothes were off and we were on my bed. Paul wasted no time within minutes he had his fingers in me twisting and stretching me. The second he thought I was ready he was inside me fucking me hard. I moaned like crazy wrapping my arms and legs around him. I hadn't realized how much I missed this. Being with Mitchie had felt so right I had forgotten how much I liked being on bottom. All to soon it was over, he came I came.

"Feel better?" Paul asked I thought for a minute before nodding, I did feel better. "I thought you would, you're a whore Jack. You're meant to be fucked, you're not meant to fuck little boys." As if to prove a point he put his fingers back in me rubbing my prostate, "You can just stop Jack you need it or you'll end up like you are now. " He pressed harder rubbing faster. I cried out arching my back, clutching the sheets,

"You need this Jack, think about it like this, when you don't milk a cow I just builds and builds until it explodes. The same with you. You need to be used, you need me." He started to Jack me off while massaging my prostate. It became too much for me and I came for a third time screaming.

"Yes, need you," I panted, "But cant have you."

"Why not?" Paul asked petting my hair,

"Leaving, Bobby is taking me back to Detroit. Need you Paul."

"Alright I'll give you a friends number, he'll keep you satisfied till I can get you back ok?" I nodded, "Go get washed up, Bobby will be here soon." I nodded getting up to go to the bathroom right as I heard Bobby come in. A slight panic washed over me, making me race to get in the shower. I washed my body trying to keep the soap out of my cuts. When I finished I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off. When I walked into my bedroom Paul was gone. I dressed slowly super aware of my cuts since they were stinging like crazy. I had just got my shirt on when Paul walked in. I tried to grab my boxers fast thinking it was Bobby. Paul grabbed me pulling me to him.

"Don't worry," Paul said running hi hands up and down my body, "He left, asked if I could watch you while he's out." I nodded kissing him. "First lets get you fixed up." Paul sat on the be and beckoned me closer. I walked up to him between his legs. He cleaned my arms and wrapped them up. When he was finished, he kissed me and led me down stairs to the kitchen.

"You need to eat something baby," he whispered from behind me wrapping his arm around me kissing my neck. I moaned softly as we made our way to the kitchen.

"What do you want to eat?" Paul asked softly

"You," I whispered making Paul chuckle.

"Food, love," he turned around and looked in the fridge, "Hmm not a lot in here huh?" I blushed looking away embarrassed. "Don't worry, we can go out." He looked down stroking my thighs, "Unfortunately your gonna have to put on pants." I nodded and went upstairs. I slipped on some clothes. When I walked back down Paul was ready to go. We left the house and got in his SUV. When we were in Paul handed me a piece of paper with a number on it.

"His names Emanuel, He's a good friend of mine, he'll put you to work so call him as soon as you can." I nodded and we were off, Paul held my hand the entire time he was driving. We reached a small Italian place rather far from my house.

"You'll like this place," Paul said leading me inside. He was right the food was better than I'd had in a long time. Paul was silent while we ate and that worried me a bit. When we were done Paul paid and we left. When we were in the car Paul finally talked

"I'm gonna miss you kid," He said leaning over to kiss me." Look I got to go back to work. I work from home, so your more than welcome to come back with me if you want." I smiled and nodded, "Alright lets go then, "It was a five minute drive to his house. When we got there Paul led me inside, his house was massive. We entered to foyer and were greeted by a maid who took our coats.

"You can go and watch some TV or come with me and sit quietly," Paul told me,

"Can I watch TV?" I asked grabbing his hand not really wanting to leave him, he chuckled.

"Look I got a phone conference in 10 minutes but after it ill bring my laptop into the TV room k?" I nodded smiling; he led me to the TV room showing me how everything works before leaving. I looked over his movie collection. Most of is was porn; some were action movies and like 3 kid movies. Ii decided to see what he was watching so I pressed play on the remote. The screen showed a younger guy getting fucked be one of those machine things. He was outside on a roof top tide to a latter with no way to close his legs to stop the assault of the machine. The ropes left him hanging down so he had nowhere to move. The man was clearly embarrassed but very aroused. The machine started fucking faster than I believed any human being could go. The man was screaming in pleasure, when he came another man stepped up and untied the blonde who was still gasping trying to collect himself. When he was untied he fell to the ground with his but in the air. The man who untied him took it as an invitation. He dropped behind the blonde man and started fucking him hard. The blonde man cried out fucking back against him. The man behind the blonde lasted a lot longer than him and was still fucking him longer after he had cum. After his second orgasm the blonde wasn't even able to hold himself up and collapsed. The man above him flipped him over fucking him even harder. Suddenly another man got down and started making the blonde suck his dick.

"Not so fucking tough now huh?" asked the man fucking him, "You got dick in you ass and mouth and you fucking love it right?" The blonde man answered with a moan. "Thought so slut," the man chuckled, "You want more dick?" This time the other man pulled out so he could talk,

"Yes more, please," the blonde man panted gasping for air, until the man put his dick back in his mouth. Next thing I new there were like 20 men all-naked surrounding them. When the man fucking him came he pulled out and let another man step in. the blonde man was used and abused. The men would double fuck him cumming in his ass, then they would make him suck their dicks, licking their balls and assholes. When the men got tired they shoved a butt plug in him. The men sat around drinking beer, watching the blonde man fuck himself with plug, the men laughed and called him names. The men decided to leave. The unplugged the blonde man and tied him up as cum leaked out of him. The men brought in a fucking machine with and even bigger dildo. They put it in him turning it up as high as it would go. The blond man screamed wriggling trying to get some relive. The men left laughing leaving the blonde man moaning like a whore. The screen went black.

"Like what you saw?" Paul asked from behind me, I looked up at him and smiled,

"Am I gonna do that?" I asked he leaned down to kiss me and rub my erection.

"Do you want to?" he asked, I shrugged looking away feeling slightly embarrassed. Paul came around the couch leaning into me. I laid back and he crawled on top of me. I leaned up and kissed him.

"Don't ever feel embarrassed in front of me, ok?" He whispered, I smiled and nodded,

"Senior Paul," called on of the maids,

"Yes, Maria?" said looking over the couch,

"Sir, there is a man on the phone for you."

"Important?"

"He said so,"

"Name?"

"A Mister Kurt," Paul sighed and smiled

"I'll be back," he climbed off me and left the room. I sat up and looked around, Maria was standing in the doorway staring at me. She looked behind her, before coming over to me.

"What is your name?" she asked softly thick with some Spanish accent.

"Jack," I replied,

"How old are you?" she asked

"Like 14,"

"You are still just a child, what are you doing here? You should be home with your family not with a grown man who has inappropriate thoughts about you."

"My parents are dead," I spat bitterly, "And Paul cares about me," I got up and stormed away from her.

"Paul!" I yelled suddenly afraid of his big house, "Paul!" I felt panic was over me,"

"Jack, are you ok?" asked Paul from the top of the stairs.

"I want to come sit with you," I replied my voice shaking a bit.

"Come on baby," he said waving me up the stairs, I raced up them and into his arms. "Are you ok?" I nodded squeezing him as we walked back to his office.

"Paul?" I said quietly

"Hm?" he said,

"Do you care about me?" I whispered, he swung me around and knelt in front of me.

"Of course I do Jack," he said, "What brought all of this on? Did someone talk to you?"

"No,"

"Ok, well I do care so what ever is making you doubt that, ignore it." I nodded and he continues to his office, "I'm in another phone conference," Paul said, "So your gonna have to be quiet. There are some books in my room right across the hall from my office. So you can grab something and come into the office." He let me go pushing me towards his bedroom. I opened the door to his bedroom and I heard Paul start his conversation again.

"Sorry about the interruption. Where were we?" I looked around for the books, most were porn books. I shifter through them listening to him talk. I turned around and looked at Paul's bed. It was huge with black silk sheets. I put the book back and laid down on it. I curled up in the center feeling like a small child. I quickly fell asleep listening to Paul's voice.


	26. Chapter 26

"Jack," Bobby whispered, shaking me awake. "It's time to go home."

"No, stay with Paul." I mumbled tiredly.

"No kid we need to go." Bobby said.

"I don't mind." I heard Paul say.

"I can't Paul," Bobby growled "I'm no charity case."

"I never said you were." Paul said gripping Bobby's shoulder. "But it's along way back. You're tired and you've been drinking. I can set you up in a guest room."

"No, were going home." Bobby said trying to pick me up. I curled towards him and could smell the liquor.

"Bobby! God you're so fucking stubborn. At least let me drive you home."

"No Paul!" Bobby snarled. "I don't need your fucking help!"

"Bobby! Stop!" Paul yelled. I curled away from Bobby and covered my ears. Bobby turned around and swung at Paul. Paul hit the ground groaning.

"No!" I screamed. "Stop it, please!" Bobby turned to grabbing me, picking me up and taking me out of the room. "Put me down! Let go!" I screamed, kicking and punching. The next thing I knew I was under Bobby and Paul.

"Bobby, you let him go!" Bobby did but only to swing at Paul again.

"You think I'm stupid!" Bobby roared. "You don't think I see the way you look at him? I know what you're trying to do with him you sick son of a bitch!"

"Bobby you're drunk and your scaring Jack." Paul replied calmly. I backed up into the corner covering my ears in preparation of Bobby's next outburst.

"Don't try to turn this around on me!" Bobby yelled. "Don't you fucking dare try to make me look like the bad guy!"

"You're acting like one!"

"You're trying to get in my baby brothers pants."

"Oh, piss off Bobby!" Paul yelled.

"You don't deny it?"

"Bobby,"

"No, I talked to one of your maids." Bobby said still yelling. "I trusted you Paul. I trusted you." Bobby's voice broke at the end of his sentence.

"Bobby lets go have a drink and let Jack sleep."

"No! Give me one reason I shouldn't light your ass on fire."

"No!" I screamed. I ran over to Bobby pounding on his chest with my fists. Bobby grabbed my wrists.

"I promised to protect you." Bobby cried, "He deserves the same as that other guy!"

"Dave hurt me! Paul never hurt me!" I screamed struggling against him.

"I've told you before Jack." Bobby said calmly. "It's not natural, it's not right."

"I don't care!" I yelled pulling away from him. Bobby squeezed tighter. I could feel the bruise building under his hands making me cry out.

"Bobby let go!" Paul yelled coming towards us. Bobby held tighter pulling me close. I cried out again. Paul punched Bobby, pulling me away from him. "Jack, go to my bedroom and lock the door okay? I'll try to get Bobby to calm down" I nodded and raced to the room. I locked the door and sat on the bed rubbing my wrists. I could still hear Bobby yelling.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" Bobby screamed. "I can't believe this! You're trying to hurt him?"

"No, I never hurt Jack. We had sex." Paul replied.

"That's sick you raped him!" Bobby yelled

"No I didn't, we had,"

"That is rape no matter how you fucking look at it. Jack is 14 how could you do that?"

"Jack's a whore Bobby. I've seen boys like him before. He needs this, he wants it." I heard Bobby his Paul.

"Don't you fucking talk about my brother like that! Don't you fucking dare! You're fucking sick! Jack is not a whore. He is a confused teenager that you are trying to corrupt."

"I don't hear Jack complaining." Paul replied. "In fact last time I checked he wanted it. He screamed and begged for it. Besides wasn't this fight started with Jack not wanting to go with you?"

"I should kill you! I should hang you upside down, slice you open, letting you guts fall out, and let you die slowly." Bobby's voice grew with each word, then he got quiet. "But jack wouldn't forgive me for that. God fucking help me though, the fucking minute Jack forgets about you, expect a visit from me. One you wont walk away from." I heard Bobby walk over to the door.

"Jack, please open the door. We need to go home. Ma's still waiting for a phone call from you. She's really worried."

"Go away!" I screamed. I knew it was ending. Bobby was going to get his way and I was going to have to go with him.

"Jackie, please come out sweetheart." Bobby pleaded

"Let me try." I heard Paul's voice. "Jack can I come in?" I got up and opened the door for Paul. Paul closed the door and locked it. I jumped up and kissed him. He kissed me back holding me tightly.

"You have to go before he burns the house down." Paul said. Then he whispered "You still have that number?" I nodded. "Good call him ok?" I nodded and kissed him again. "We will see each other again." Paul led me to the door. When we got to the hallway Bobby came towards me but I just stormed passed him. I got in the car and waited for Bobby. Bobby came out followed by Paul. Bobby got in the car ready to leave. Paul opened my door handing me a brown bag.

"For your trip." He explained before turning around and leaving. Bobby pulled away from the curb and drove home in a hurry. When we got home I tried to jump from the car but Bobby stopped me by grabbing my arm tightly.

"What's in the bag?"

"None of your business." I replied before ripping my arm out of his grasp. I stormed into the house and went straight to my room. I locked the door and laid down on my bed. Bobby was right on my heels.

"Jack, open this door!" Bobby yelled.

"Fuck you!" I screamed. "You think you can just walk in here and fuck up my life? I hate you!" Bobby was silent for a while. I had thought he had left when he said,

"Jack, I know it hurts now, but I'm your big brother and I'm telling you that man is trying to hurt you."

"Shut up!" I screeched. "You're the only one who is hurting me so fuck off! I don't ever want to see your stupid face again."

"Sweetheart, your 14 you don't understand."

"Stop it, I'm done listening, just go away." I sobbed.

"Jack please don't cry." I rolled over on my bed pressing my face to the pillow, crying. I cried myself out until I fell asleep.

I woke the next morning with a headache worse than death, and a raw throat. I sat up in bed and looked around. All my stuff was packed up. I figured either Angel or Bobby did it yesterday. I got up and knocked something over. I looked down and found the bag Paul had given me yesterday. I opened it up and gasped. Inside were some books and movies I guessed were porn, some lube, a black dildo, and a butt plug. I snuck the two toys into my traveling case along with two books and the lube. The rest went in my suitcase. I hid the brown bag under my bed and left the room. When I opened my door I saw Bobby lying on the floor. I began to panic thinking something bad had happened. I knelt down next to him, my heart pounding with every movement.

"Bobby?" He opened his eyes and looked up at me. I stopped myself from sighing in relief remembering that I was mad at him. "What are you doing?"

"I wanted to me close to you." He whispered brushing my hair out of my face. I stood and turned to leave.

"When are we heading out?" I asked not looking at him.

"Jack please forgive me." Bobby said sitting up. "I fucking let you down a million times. I can't feed you or keep a roof over your heat. Most of all I didn't keep you safe."

"Fuck you Bobby, I don't need your help." I growled walking away. Bobby didn't try to talk to me for the rest of the day. He and Angel loaded up the car and we were off. When we started driving I pulled out one of the books Paul had given me and started reading. The books were series of erotic fiction. The first one I read was about a boy being seduced by and older boy. One day the older boy sits next to the younger one on the bus and starts jacking off in front of him. The younger boy is confused but eventually starts jacking the older boy off. After a week or so the boy starts sucking the older boy's dick. The kids make fun of him but it just confuses him more. One day after all the kids had gotten off the bus the older boy pulled the younger kid into his lap making him ride him. The bus driver who had been watching the entire time pulled over and came back to join them. While the boy rode the older boy the bus driver made him suck his dick. Another one talking about a boy who liked to get peed on which kind of grossed me out. I read the storied and ended up jacking off as every rest stop.

Bobby didn't try to talk to me during the trip and I didn't try to talk to him. This made Angel feel awkward. He kept trying to get us to talk by starting a conversation with one and pulling the other into it. Every time he did that one or both of us would stop talking and ignore him. After about the 50th time Angel got pissed.

"What the fuck!" Angel yelled, we ignored him. "Jack, Bobby's an asshole but he loves you and only has your best interests at heart."

"Yeah right," I scoffed.

"You don't believe me?"

"I think that Bobby wants to control every aspect of my fucking life. He's the asshole who can't mind his own fucking business. He doesn't love me he just feels some sort of responsibility towards me. Or maybe he just lusts for me." I spat. Right after the words left my mouth, Bobby swerved through lanes and pulled over on the side of the road.

"Whoa, what the hell man?" Angel yelled. Bobby got out of the car and dragged me out too. He pulled us behind the car.

"Don't you ever fucking say that." Bobby yelled in my face.

"If it's not true then what's your interest in me?" I screamed back over the noise of cars passing.

"You're my brother! I love you and care about you!"

""Oh whatever, get off your high horse Bobby! You don't love me."

"No? Of course not, I take the time and money to take care of people I don't give a fuck about! I constantly lay my ass on the line for strangers I lust over! Because that makes a lot of fucking sense!"

"Bobby, Jacks gonna make mistakes. He's a kid and he's gonna say stuff he doesn't mean." Angel said.

"I know, but don't you ever fucking compare me to those sick fucks ever fucking again!" he growled.

"Fuck you! Your worse than them, you would do the same if you got the chance!" I screamed. My head snapped to the side and my cheek began to sting. Bobby had just slapped him. I looked back at his wide eye with my mine.

"Fuck you!" I screamed hitting him back. "Don't you ever fucking touch me! I hate you! I fucking hate you!"

"Jack, please, let's just get back into the car." Angel said trying to guide me to the car. I threw his arm off me.

"No, fuck you, just leave. I'll stay with Paul."

"No!" Bobby roared. "You are not staying with him. You are coming with us. Now you can either get in this car or ill knock you the fuck out and shove you in it." I glared at Bobby.

"Then do it. You can't make me hate you anymore than I already do." Bobby grabbed me around the waist and turned towards the car. I pushed my feet against the car and kicked back making both of us fall to the asphalt. I got up and tried to run, but Angel stopped me. He wrapped his arms around me trapping my arms between our bodies. I started kicking.

"Jack stop. I haven't hurt you so don't hurt me. I don't want to lose a brother. I love you Jack." I stopped kicking and looked up at him.

"You didn't use to." I said quietly.

"True, at first I was angry at you for taking my brother. But Jack, recently all you have done is watch my back. Now let me watch yours. Come on, lets get in the car, go home, and when we get there you can talk to Ma. Maybe she can help sort out all these feelings you're having." I stared up at Angel before laying my head on his chest. He loosened his grip on me and started rubbing my back. "Why don't you go get in the care? I'll get Bobby." I nodded and moved passed them to the car. I knocked all my stuff on the floor and laid down. I could here Angel and Bobby yelling.

"What the fuck?" Angel yelled. "Oh yeah Jack's pissed off let me slap him in the face. That's gonna do us some good. "

"I didn't mean to, fuck! How did this happen?"

"I don't know you tell me, Bobby. He didn't hate you yesterday morning."

"No he got mad after I told him he we were leaving. He went tot school to talk to Mitchie and had another break down. I asked Paul to go pick him up. I went to the house to talk to Paul. I needed to run some errands and needed to see if he would stay with Jack a little longer. I was talking to Paul and Jack was taking a shower which I thought was off because he took one that morning. I tried to pass it off as him cooling off from his second episode but that when I noticed Paul reeked of sex. Suddenly my suspicions didn't seem so absurd. I just kept telling myself that Paul would never do that and if he did Jack would tell me. The whole thing bugged me all day. Then when I went back to the house I found a note saying they had gone to Paul's house it had directions. I went to the house and was greeting by a maid who offered me a drink. She told me everything she saw go on between them. Paul was raping Jack right under my nose. I started drinking hard planning what I should do. I decided on trying to take Jack and leave not wanting to start a scene. It turned into a huge fight anyways and here we are." Bobby sighed heavily.

"So this is all about Paul?"

"Yup, I thought at first he was mad about me talking him from Mitchie but no this is all about Paul."

"Then stop badmouthing Paul!"

"What?"

"Look, Jack apparently likes this guy. So tell him you're sorry for taking him away from Paul!"

"But,"

"No, apologize. Let Ma handle it. You are just pissing him off. I'll drive, you apologize."

"The hell you're driving."

"Shut up, you need to talk to Jack and you cant multi task.: Angel finished. He moved towards the front of the car.

"Do you even have a license?"

"No Bobby, I'm that dumb." Angel got in the car and looked over at me. "Hey kiddo, you ready to hit the road again?" I nodded as Bobby opened the backseat door. I moved to the other side of the car as Bobby got in. Angel started driving again as Bobby and I stared at each other.

"Jack,"

"Shut up." I spat.

"Look, I'm sorry."

"I heard you guys out there and I'm not dumb your just saying shit." I turned and stared out the window moodily.

"Fine," Bobby said, "I won't lie and I'm not sorry. I'm sorry for hitting you and for yelling but my actions towards Paul are not wrong. I'm your brother and I'm always gonna be in your business." I ignored him watching the guard rails run together looking like a train. I didn't know why I said what I had said to Bobby. I knew he wasn't like those guys and I knew he cared for me I even knew Paul was wrong. I guessed in a way I felt like I had hit a weak spot on Bobby. It was new for me he had hit my soft spot from day one telling me I was disgusting but I could never find one for Bobby. Truthfully I was kind of upset I'd found it and that I had pushed it so hard. I wanted nothing more than for Bobby to make up with me but I couldn't I wanted to be mad. I wasn't sure why but I knew it would come to me eventually.

Bobby and I didn't talk for the rest of the ride, and we alternated so we were almost always never together. As impossible as that would seem in a car. When Angel was awake and driving I was up front with him and Bobby was in back sleeping. When Bobby was awake and driving I was in back reading knowing that if he caught me it would piss him off. And when Angel wanted to sleep in the back I sat next to Bobby while we completely ignored each other. The ride was long and silent, Angel even fell into the silence. We only stopped to eat and pee. We made it back a lot quicker than Bobby and I when we had left for Colorado. When we reached home I jumped from the car stretching.

"Get your bags and go inside." Bobby said not looking at me. I grabbed my bags and walked inside. I was instantly greeted by Ma.

"Oh Jackie, I've missed you so much." I smiled hugging back while inhaling her scent.

"I missed you too." She smiled patting my cheek.

"Go on upstairs and unpack, when your done dinner will be ready." I nodded and moved up the stairs. I heard Ma welcoming Angel and Bobby.

"Oh Angel, shame on you!"

"I'm sorry Ma," I heard Angel say; "I didn't mean to scare you.

"Just don't do it again sweetie." I listened to Angel move up the stairs and into his room.

"What's wrong Bobby?" Ma asked

"Jack." I heard them move to the living room. I moved to the stairs to listen better.

"What happened?" Ma asked.

"I don't know Ma," Bobby whispered, "He keeps telling me he hates me and that we're not brothers. I don't know how to keep him happy and safe."

"Bobby, he's a teenager, he's going to say some things he doesn't mean. If I remember correctly Angel once said the same things." I nodded in agreement to the 'not meaning it part' I suppose the reason I was made was because he just uprooted my life with no warning. I wanted to know why. I could feel another reason behind us leaving.

"This is different. I fucked up a con job for Angel. Jack acts like I ripped off his arm. God I don't even get it. How can he care for a monster like that?"

"He doesn't really, the man has just filled Jack's head with lies. He just needs a little help."

"Well it's your job now." Bobby growled. My blood turned to ice at that statement. I didn't know I had upset Bobby enough to leave me.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm done, Jack's yours now. He can pick that monster over you. I'm leaving." My heart stopped and my eyes watered.

"Leaving? Leaving where? Bobby you just got back."

"Hockey, my old coach got a new job for a pro team. He's got and empty spot and offered it to me." I could feel the anger rising in my body. So that's why my life was ripped out from under me? So Bobby could go play fucking hockey?

"So you're just leaving him?"

"He doesn't want me."

"He needs you!"

"No, he needs you, Ma." I stood not wanting to listen anymore but I knew I would have heard the last line even if I had been in my bedroom with the door closed.

"Bobby, don't you walk out on that boy!" Bobby just stormed out the door. I went back to my room quietly and closed the door. I started unpacking. As I started I began thinking about what Bobby said. After everything we'd been though he was willing to turn around and leave. I could feel a dull ache in my chest. I mean for all the people I'd just left, Bobby walking away from me hurt the most. Tears began to blur my vision. I would not cry over Bobby. If he didn't want me I wasn't gonna care. I would just not want him either then he could cry over me not wanting him. Stupid Bobby. The ache in my chest throbbed harder.

"Screw him," I said. "I don't need him." But even as I said it I knew it wasn't true. I ignored the ache and went back to unpacking. I was half done when I heard a knock at my door.

"Who is it?" I asked

"Me," Ma said from the other side. I walked over and opened the door for her. "Hi Jackie."

:Hey," I said moving back to unpack.

"Sweetie, can we talk?" I nodded and sat next to her on the bed.

"Can you tell me why you didn't tell Bobby Paul was hurting you?"

"Because he doesn't hurt me, we have sex."

"Jack, your 14, he's a lot older than you and that is still rape."

"Rape is forced!"

"Statutory rape is having sex with minors which you still are. So? It's still rape and it's still against the law."

"I don't care."

"Why not?"

"Paul cares about me."

"No, Bobby, Angel, Jerry, and I care about you. Paul is using you."

"Stop it! He isn't using me, he make me feel better. He makes that pain go away."

"What pain?"

"Pain in my head. Paul had sex with me and I felt better."

"You mean from when you get stressed out?"

"Yes, Paul made it go away."

"Jack, sex is a great stress reliever, but Paul was taking advantage of you in your time of need."

"No Paul says whores have to have sex or that will happen."

"I don't see what that has to do with you."

"I'm a…"

"Don't you say that Jackie, or I will wash your mouth out with soap."

"But I am everybody sees it."

"No, you stop that, you're not a whore and you don't need sex to feel better. The next time you have an episode ill bet I can make you feel better." Ma started looking around the room. She spotted the guitar Mitchie bought me. "What's that?"

"Guitar."

"Where did you get it?"

"Mitchie."

"That was really sweet of him, have you played it?"

"Not yet."

"Why not?"

"Haven't had time." I said shrugging.

"Well try to make time, music is a great release." I nodded and we were silent.

"I made Bobby sad huh?"

"I won't lie to you Jack, you upset him. When you use harsh words you do that to people."

"He's leaving because of me?"

"No, Bobby is leaving because of Bobby."

"Your lying." I said turning from her. "Bobby doesn't like me."

"Why do you think that?"

"He keeps saying I'm wrong and unnatural."

"No, he didn't. He said what you were doing with Paul was wrong."

"I don't agree, besides Bobby hit me."

"He lost his temper. Bobby does that sometimes. He was angry at Paul and then you tried to compare him to a man he found out hurt you."

"Paul didn't hurt me."

"Yes he did, inside your head."

"You're wrong."

"Maybe, but don't count on it." With that she got up and left. When I finished unpacking I went down stairs and grabbed the phone and ran back to my room. I dialed the number Paul gave me.

"Yo." I guessed it was Emanuel's voice.

"Hi, um my name is Jack. A friend, Paul, gave me your number."

"You're Paul's boy, yeah he called me about you. Can you come meet me tonight?"

"I can try, where do I go?" Emanuel said he could come and get me at eight. When I hung up the phone I opened my door to go downstairs. Bobby was blocking my way.

"Can we talk?"

"No," I said trying to move past him. I was boiling with anger at the whole hockey situation and I didn't want to hear anything from him.

"Jack please,"

"You're leaving, why should I give a rat's ass what you have to say." Bobby's eyes widened in shock.

"You heard me and Ma talking?" he asked. I could tell he knew my answer from the glare I was sending him. "I thought you hated me anyways."

"I was angry! Did you mean to slap me?"

"No, of course not…"

"Exactly, but your ditching out on me so whatever just move."

"No we need to talk" Bobby said firmly

"No, your leaving me, I don't give a fuck as to what you want."

"You said you didn't want to see my face again."

"I didn't mean it I was angry!"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, sometimes people make mistakes and say things they don't mean. You've done it to me I'm sure and I never walked out on you."

"You tried to stay with Paul,"

"Yeah, well you were able to stop me. I can't stop you from leaving can I?"

"I…no, I signed a contract already."

"Great, well bye Bobby don't come back k?"

"Jack, I am sick and fucking tired of your attitude. I decide to leave because you want me gone and now I'm leaving and you want me to stay?"

"There is no way that with in the time that you told me we were leaving and we started fighting to this moment right now that you got a slot on a team and signed a contract. You were planning on leaving along time ago. So please shut the fuck up and move." Bobby stared at me for a while.

"I don't get it, cant I ever fucking please you?"

"Guess not," I replied shoving passed him. I walked down to the kitchen.

"Hey, sweetie, ready to eat?" Ma asked. I nodded. "Well get the table set for me. Then go get your brothers."

"Mmk," I said. I set the table then walked up to Angel's room. I knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" Angel panted.

"Dinner's ready."

"K be there in a minute."

"Alright," I replied moving away from the door when I heard a girl moan. I walked down to Bobby's room. I knocked on the door.

"Yeah?"

"Bobby, its time for dinner." I said. I heard him move and open the door.

"Jack," I turned to leave him when he swung me around and hugged me. "You're right, when the bills became too much I planned on leaving you here with Ma, and going to play hockey. Hockey is my dream Jack. Plus the money I'll make, maybe we could try this whole 'you living with me' thing again when my contracts done."

"No," I replied. "I don't want to live with you again. When were you going to tell me? Is this the real reason you made me drop everything and run? So you could play hockey?"

"I…you're right and that wasn't fair. But I made a mistake just like you."

"Yeah and you weren't going to forgive me, why should I forgive you!"

"Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Guess so,"

"Jack please, I don't want to leave on bad terms."

"Then don't leave." I replied walking back to the kitchen. Dinner was uneventful. I was desperate to get away and meet Emanuel. Bobby stared at me the entire time. Angel scarfed down his food and mom just smiled at everything. When dinner was finished I excused myself to my room. I grabbed a backpack and threw and extra pair of clothes in it just in case. I walked down the stairs and out the door.

"Jack, where are you going?" I heard Bobby ask as I walked out the door.

"None of your business."

"Get your ass back in here."

"No you stay and I'll go. Tomorrow I'll stay and you can go. I happen to like this idea. Then you can leave on no terms, like our relationship never existed."

"Jack, why are you acting like this? What happened to I take care of you? What happened to having each others backs?"

"Yeah well I kinda feel like you stabbed me in the back so forgive me for not wanting to lean on you so quickly."

"I love you and I always will but I am not going to sit here and listen to this shit! I protected you and I didn't stab you in the back. I made way too many sacrifices for you to be talked to like this. Now get your ass to your room before I kick it."

"Well start kicking because im done listing to your shit. I'm either walking out of this door or your dragging me kicking and screaming back up the stairs to my room."

"Don't tempt me," Bobby growled.

"God, why can't you just piss off?"

"Because I don't want you going where you're heading."

"To hang with friends?"

"No, the streets, I tried to protect you by taking you away from them but I feel like because you're mad at me you'll start doing something stupid like drugs. Then I'll be coming home for your funeral."

"Then it will be your fault." I only felt half bad when Bobby flinched from me like I'd punched him. I didn't know where this anger came from or why I wanted to hurt him so bad but I did. "You're supposed to protect me. Who is gonna protect me when your gone?"

"You have two other brothers."

"Oh, good, well now I know."I turned and jumped off the porch as a car pulled up.

"Jack get back here." Bobby yelled running after me. Someone inside the car opened the door and I jumped right in. The car pulled away from the curb a little too quickly and made a screeching sound. I looked back and saw Bobby standing in the middle of the street.

"Hey I remember you," the guy next to me said.

"Huh?" I asked looking back at him. I could barley make out his features in the dark.

"Yeah you're that kid Kris took in, the one who drank that five way. We had sex in the bathroom stall." My eyes widened as I looked back at him.

"Oh yeah," I replied looking out the window.

"So, how have you been kid?"

"Um, fine you?" I didn't want to seem rude but this guy was weirder than I remembered.

"Eh same." He kept up mindless chatter until we reached the same warehouse as before.

"No one is here right now, there's a big party down at Tyree's place. So let's go in." We got out of the car and he held my hand as we walked into the building. I was beginning to get the feeling he though this was more like a date than a one night stand. HE treated me more like a love than a whore. When we entered the building I looked around some. It was the same as I remembered really. Mattresses still littered the ground along with beer bottles and cigarette butts. Emmanuel led me to a mattress. He laid me down with him on top and started kissing me.

"You want something to drink?" I nodded and he got up. He lit him self a cigarette and grabbed two bottles of beer. He came back sitting down next to me, handing me a beer. I took a sip and scrunched my nose up at the taste. Emanuel laughed.

"Sorry kid, its all we've got." He passed me his cigarette. "Wanna hit it?" I took it. As I breathed in the smoke it burned my lungs some, but it wasn't painful just new. He let me keep it and lit another on for himself. While I was smoking I noticed a tinge in my brain. It was like a really good feeling, I just felt happy. I started giggling and Emanuel laughed.

"You're adorable." I looked over at him. "What are you doing here Jack?"

"Sex,"

"Why? You're the white boy who stays in school and tries to please everyone. You're the kid who tries his hardest. You're a good kid Jack. So why are you here letting me corrupt you?"

"I'm a whore; Paul says you can use me."

"No, I've seen a lot of whores in my life and you aren't one of them."

"Yes I am! Want me to show you?"

"Go ahead." I got on my knees and opened his fly. I pulled out his dick and start sucking him.

"So you give good head, doesn't mean you're a whore. You might be gay. I wouldn't be surprised and with that mouth you'll make that one special guy happy."

"Want to fuck me? I'm good at that too."

"No Jack, what you need is to stay away from people who are filling your head with shit." He put his dick back in his pants.

"No, Paul said you would help."

"Paul is a sick bastard. You got a family?"

"No not really,"

"What do you mean?"

"I live with people but they will never be my real family."

"Jack, what do you think family is?"

"Family is blood."

"Not always this is my family, Jamal, Tyrees, and Krissy, that's my family. Not blood as you can tell, but there more of a family than my relatives. Family comes to you from the most unexpected places. Maybe the Mercers are your family and maybe you'll end up like me. Either way there is a family out there waiting for you. I think Bobby is going to be a part of whatever family you end up in. He loves you Jack."

"No I made him sad and now he's leaving."

"Bobby can't live with his momma forever Jack. He needs to get out into the world and try to make a name for himself."

"Why can't I go with him?"

"Bobby doesn't know how to treat or act around you half the time. Mostly he's lost as to what to do. I'm guessing when he took you with him he didn't end up spending much time with you. Always working and all that mess. When you guys got close again he must have had trouble connecting. Before it was easy, when you get close it gets harder. He loves you Jack and you should know that he has always had trouble expressing it. That's how Bobby is I doubt that will ever change but you are his brother and in Bobby's eyes you are the most important thing on this planet. Just like the rest of his family. He cares for you , blood or not Jack. Look at how much Bobby loves Ms. Mercer and she's not blood but she is his momma." I had this sinking feeling that Emanuel knew Bobby.

"It's not the same." I debated.

"Why not?"

"He hurts me, he took me from Paul."

"Bobby protected you from a man who was out to hurt you. Besides people who loves you are gonna hurt you, not on purpose, but when it happens does it mean they love you any less? Can you think back to your real family Jack?"

"Sometimes,"

""Can you remember when you hurt someone in your family?" I thought for a little while and nodded.

"Once I stole from my dad because I was angry. I don't remember what it was but I broke it and it was really important to him."

"Was he hurt?"

"Yeah, he cried. It was the first time I'd ever seen him cry."

"Did you not love him any more?"

"No, it was an accident, I didn't mean to make him sad. I just… I don't know, but I still loved him and we forgave each other."

"Why can't you do that for Bobby."

"Bobby, wont do it for me he keeps trying to make me feel bad about him leaving like it's my fault. I'm not saying it isn't but he doesn't have to keep talking like that."

"Bobby will forgive you; he's just using that shit as an excuse."

"How do you know?"

"Because I talked to him. I tried to call you back to tell you I'd be running a little late, but Bobby answered. The minute I found out who you were I knew I needed to figure out why golden boy Mercer was trying to get with me. Then Bobby told me everything that happened. I figure I could try talking to you."

"So Bobby isn't mad?"

"Nope, he's just scared for you. Paul sends me boys like you all the time. Paul doesn't love or care about you Jack, he probably has a new you already.

"But Bobby's leaving me, who's gonna watch out for me?"

"Bobby would never just leave you like that. He's got people watching." Emanuel winked at me. "Plus you got Angel at your back. You're gonna be just fine kid."

"I should probably apologize huh?"

"He's outside when you're ready."

"What?"

"I told him where we were going, he agreed to let me talk to you." Emanuel stood up, pulling me with him. Then he nudged me towards the exit.

"Go on kid,"

"Am I gonna see you again?"

"I'll stick around, see how you adjust. But I'll be watching you Jack. Think of me as Santa only blacker and hotter."

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that." I took a deep breath, "You sure he isn't mad?"

"He's sad, he doesn't want to leave you Jack but he also wants to do what he wants. One day you gonna leave someone you love to pursue something you love."

A/N: I don't know why I said I was gonna name the next story Mitchie I just remembered the kid he's in love with was named Mitchie so I'm thinking of calling the soon to be youngest brother Mira it sounds like a girl name though but he is suppose to be cute I was also thinking of Spencer or Cillian. Let me know what you think please it will help speed the process of the stories if I know what you guys think.


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